LITTLE Horace was
walking home from school, brilliantly decorated by a pair of new red mittens. A
number of boys were snow-balling gleefully in a field. They hailed him.
"Come on, Horace. We're having a battle."
Horace was sad.
"No," he said, "I can't. I've got to go home." At noon his
mother had admonished him. "Now, Horace, you come straight home as soon as
school is out. Do you hear? And don't you get them nice new mittens all wet,
either. Do you hear?" Also his aunt had said: "I declare, Emily, it's
a shame the way you allow that child to ruin his things." She had meant
mittens. To his mother, Horace had dutifully replied: "Yes'm." But he
now loitered in the vicinity of the group of uproarious boys, who were yelling
like hawks as the white balls flew.
Some of them
immediately analyzed this extraordinary hesitancy. "Hah!" they paused
to scoff, "afraid of your new mittens, ain't you?" Some smaller boys,
who were not yet so wise in discerning motives, applauded this attack with
unreasonable vehemence. "A-fray-ed of his mit-tens! A-fray-ed of his mit-
tens." They sang these lines to cruel and monotonous music which is as old
perhaps as American childhood and which it is the privilege of the emancipated
adult to completely forget. "A-fray-ed of his mit-tens!"
Horace cast a tortured
glance toward his playmates, and then dropped his eyes to the snow at his feet.
Presently he turned to the trunk of one of the great maple trees that lined the
curb. He made a pretense of closely examining the rough and virile bark. To his
mind, this familiar street of Whilomville seemed to grow dark in the thick
shadow of shame. The trees and the houses were now palled in purple.
"A-fray-ed of his
mit-tens!" The terrible music had in it a meaning from the moonlit
war-drums of chanting cannibals.
At last Horace, with
supreme effort, raised his head. "'Tain't them I care about," he said
gruffly. "I've got to go home. That's all."
Whereupon each boy held
his left forefinger as if it were a pencil and began to sharpen it derisively
with his right forefinger. They came closer, and sang like a trained chorus,
"A-fray-ed of his mittens!"
When he raised his
voice to deny the charge it was simply lost in the screams of the mob. He was
alone fronting all the traditions of boyhood held before him by inexorable
representatives. To such a low state had he fallen that one lad, a mere baby,
outflanked him and then struck him in the cheek with a heavy snow-ball. The act
was acclaimed with loud jeers. Horace turned to dart at his assailant, but
there was an immediate demonstration on the other flank, and he found himself
obliged to keep his face toward the hilarious crew of tormentors. The baby
retreated in safety to the rear of the crowd, where he was received with
fulsome compliments upon his daring. Horace retreated slowly up the walk. He
continually tried to make them heed him, but the only sound was the chant,
"A-fray-ed of his mit-tens!" In this desperate withdrawal the beset
and haggard boy suffered more than is the common lot of man.
Being a boy himself, he
did not understand boys at all. He had of course the dismal conviction that
they were going to dog him to his grave. But near the corner of the field they
suddenly seemed to forget all about it. Indeed, they possessed only the malevolence
of so many flitter-headed sparrows. The interest had swung capriciously to some
other matter. In a moment they were off in the field again, carousing amid the
snow. Some authoritative boy had probably said, "Aw, come on."
As the pursuit ceased,
Horace ceased his retreat. He spent some time in what was evidently an attempt
to adjust his self-respect, and then began to wander furtively down toward the
group. He, too, had undergone an important change. Perhaps his sharp agony was
only as durable as the malevolence of the others. In this boyish life obedience
to some unformulated creed of manners was enforced with capricious, but
merciless, rigor. However, they were, after all, his comrades, his friends.
They did not heed his
return. They were engaged in an altercation. It had evidently been planned that
this battle was between Indians and soldiers. The smaller and weaker boys had
been induced to appear as Indians in the initial skirmish, but they were now
very sick of it, and were reluctantly, but steadfastly, affirming their desire
for a change of caste. The larger boys had all won great distinction,
devastating Indians materially, and they wished the war to go on as planned.
They explained vociferously that it was proper for the soldiers always to
thrash the Indians. The little boys did not pretend to deny the truth of this
argument; they confined themselves to the simple statement that, in that case,
they wished to be soldiers. Each little boy willingly appealed to the others to
remain Indians, but as for himself he reiterated his desire to enlist as a
soldier. The larger boys were in despair over this dearth of enthusiasm in the
small Indians. They alternately wheedled and bullied, but they could not
persuade the little boys, who were really suffering dreadful humiliation rather
than submit to another onslaught of soldiers. They were called all the baby
names that had the power of stinging deep into their pride, but they remained
firm.
Then a formidable lad,
a leader of reputation, one who could whip many boys that wore long trousers,
suddenly blew out his cheeks and shouted, "Well, all right then. I'll be
an Indian myself. Now." The little boys greeted with cheers this addition
to their wearied ranks, and seemed then content. But matters were not mended in
the least, because all of the personal following of the formidable lad, with
the addition of every outsider, spontaneously forsook the flag and declared
themselves Indians. There were now no soldiers. The Indians had carried
everything unanimously. The formidable lad used his influence, but his
influence could not shake the loyalty of his friends, who refused to fight
under any colors but his colors.
Plainly there was
nothing for it but to coerce the little ones. The formidable lad again became a
soldier, and then graciously permitted to join him all the real fighting
strength of the crowd, leaving behind a most forlorn band of little Indians.
Then the soldiers attacked the Indians, exhorting them to opposition at the
same time.
The Indians at first
adopted a policy of hurried surrender, but this had no success, as none of the
surrenders were accepted. They then turned to flee, bawling out protests. The
ferocious soldiers pursued them amid shouts. The battle widened, developing all
manner of marvelous detail.
Horace had turned
toward home several times, but, as a matter of fact, this scene held him in a
spell. It was fascinating beyond anything which the grown man understands. He
had always in the back of his head a sense of guilt, even a sense of impending
punishment for disobedience, but they could not weigh with the delirium of this
snow battle.
ONE of the raiding
soldiers, espying Horace, called out in passing, "A-fray-ed of his
mit-tens!" Horace flinched at this renewal, and the other lad paused to
taunt him again. Horace scooped some snow, molded it into a ball, and flung it
at the other. "Ho," cried the boy, "you're an Indian, are you?
Hey, fellers, here's an Indian that ain't been killed yet." He and Horace
engaged in a duel in which both were in such haste to mold snow-balls that they
had little time for aiming.
Horace once struck his
opponent squarely in the chest. "Hey," he shouted, "you're dead.
You can't fight any more, Pete. I killed you. You're dead."
The other boy flushed
red, but he continued frantically to make ammunition. "You never touched
me," he retorted, glowering. "You never touched me. Where, now?"
he added defiantly. "Where'd you hit me?"
"On the coat!
Right on your breast. You can't fight any more. You're dead."
"You never!"
"I did, too. Hey,
fellers, ain't he dead? I hit 'im square."
"He never!"
Nobody had seen the
affair, but some of the boys took sides in absolute accordance with their
friendship for one of the concerned parties. Horace's opponent went about
contending, "He never touched me. He never came near me. He never came
near me."
The formidable leader
now came forward and accosted Horace. "What was you? An Indian? Well,
then, you're dead--that's all. He hit you. I saw him."
"Me?"
shrieked Horace. "He never came within a mile of me--"
At that moment he heard
his name called in a certain familiar tune of two notes, with the last note
shrill and prolonged. He looked toward the sidewalk, and saw his mother
standing there in her widow's weeds, with two brown paper parcels under her
arm. A silence had fallen upon all the boys. Horace moved slowly toward his
mother. She did not seem to note his approach; she was gazing austerely off
through the naked branches of the maples where two crimson sunset bars lay on
the deep blue sky.
At a distance of ten
paces, Horace made a desperate venture. "Oh, ma," he whined,
"can't I stay out for a while?"
"No," she
answered solemnly, "you come with me." Horace knew that profile. But
he continued to plead, because it was not beyond his mind that a great show of
suffering now might diminish his suffering later.
He did not dare to look
back at his playmates. It was already a public scandal that he could not stay
out as late as other boys, and he could imagine his standing now that he had
been dragged off by his mother in sight of the whole world. He was a profoundly
miserable human being.
Aunt Martha opened the
door for them. Light streamed about her straight skirt. "Oh," she
said, "so you found him on the road, eh? Well, I declare! It was about
time!"
Horace slunk into the
kitchen. The stove, spraddling out on its four iron legs, was gently humming.
Aunt Martha had evidently just lighted the lamp, for she went to it and began
to twist the wick experimentally.
"Now," said
the mother, "let's see them mittens."
Horace's chin sank. The
aspiration of the criminal, the passionate desire for an asylum from
retribution, from justice, was aflame in his heart. "I--I--don't--don't
know where they are," he gasped finally as he passed his hand over his
pockets.
"Horace,"
intoned his mother, "you are telling me a story!"
"'Tain't a
story," he answered, just above his breath. He looked like a sheep-stealer.
His mother held him by
the arm, and began to search his pockets. Almost at once she was able to bring
forth a pair of very wet mittens. "Well, I declare!" cried Aunt
Martha. The two women went close to the lamp, and minutely examined the mittens,
turning them over and over. Afterwards, when Horace looked up, his mother's
sad-lined, homely face was turned toward him. He burst into tears.
His mother drew a chair
near the stove. "Just you sit there now, until I tell you to git
off." He sidled meekly into the chair. His mother and his aunt went
briskly about the business of preparing supper. They did not display a
knowledge of his existence; they carried an effect of oblivion so far that they
even did not speak to each other. Presently, they went into the dining and
living room; Horace could hear the dishes rattling. His Aunt Martha brought a
plate of food, placed it on a chair near him, and went away without a word.
Horace instantly
decided that he would not touch a morsel of the food. He had often used this
ruse in dealing with his mother. He did not know why it brought her to terms,
but certainly it sometimes did.
The mother looked up
when the aunt returned to the other room. "Is he eatin' his supper?"
she asked.
The maiden aunt, fortified
in ignorance, gazed with pity and contempt upon this interest. "Well, now,
Emily, how do I know?" she queried. "Was I goin' to stand over
'im?" Of all the worryin' you do about that child! It's a shame the way
you're bringing up that child."
"Well, he ought to
eat something. It won't do fer him to go without eatin'," the mother
retorted weakly.
Aunt Martha, profoundly
scorning the policy of concession which these words meant, uttered a long,
contemptuous sigh.
ALONE in the kitchen,
Horace stared with somber eyes at the plate of food. For a long time he
betrayed no sign of yielding. His mood was adamantine. He was resolved not to
sell his vengeance for bread, cold ham, and a pickle, and yet it must be known
that the sight of them affected him powerfully. The pickle in particular was
notable for its seductive charm. He surveyed it darkly.
But at last, unable to
longer endure his state, his attitude in the presence of the pickle, he put out
an inquisitive finger and touched it, and it was cool and green and plump. Then
a full conception of the cruel woe of his situation swept upon him suddenly,
and his eyes filled with tears, which began to move down his cheeks. He
sniffled. His heart was black with hatred. He painted in his mind scenes of
deadly retribution. His mother would be taught that he was not one to endure
persecution meetly, without raising an arm in his defense. And so his dreams
were of a slaughter of feelings, and near the end of them his mother was pictured
as coming, bowed with pain, to his feet. Weeping, she implored his charity.
Would he forgive her? No; his once tender heart had been turned to stone by her
injustice. He could not forgive her. She must pay the inexorable penalty.
The first item in this
horrible plan was the refusal of the food. This he knew by experience would
work havoc in his mother's heart. And so he grimly waited.
But suddenly it
occurred to him that the first part of his revenge was in danger of failing.
The thought struck him that his mother might not capitulate in the usual way.
According to his recollection, the time was more than due when she should come
in, worried, sadly affectionate, and ask him if he was ill. It had then been
his custom to hint in a resigned voice that he was the victim of secret
disease, but that he preferred to suffer in silence and alone. If she was
obdurate in her anxiety, he always asked her in a gloomy, low voice to go away
and leave him to suffer in silence and alone in the darkness without food. He
had known this manoeuvering to result even in pie.
But what was the
meaning of the long pause and the stillness? Had his old and valued ruse
betrayed him? As the truth sank into his mind, he supremely loathed life, the
world, his mother. Her heart was beating back the besiegers; he was a defeated
child.
He wept for a time
before deciding upon the final stroke. He would run away. In a remote corner of
the world he would become some sort of bloody-handed person driven to a life of
crime by the barbarity of his mother. She should never know his fate. He would
torture her for years with doubts and doubts, and drive her implacably to a
repentant grave. Nor would his Aunt Martha escape. Some day, a century hence,
when his mother was dead, he would write to his Aunt Martha, and point out her
part in the blighting of his life. For one blow against him now he would, in
time, deal back a thousand; aye, ten thousand.
He arose and took his
coat and cap. As he moved stealthily toward the door he cast a glance backward
at the pickle. He was tempted to take it, but he knew if he left the plate
inviolate his mother would feel even worse.
A blue snow was
falling. People bowed forward were moving briskly along the walks. The electric
lamps hummed amid showers of flakes. As Horace emerged from the kitchen, a
shrill squall drove the flakes around the corner of the house. He cowered away
from it, and its violence illumined his mind vaguely in new directions. He
deliberated upon a choice of remote corners of the globe. He found that he had
no plans which were definite enough in a geographical way, but without much
loss of time he decided upon California. He moved briskly as far as his
mother's front gate on the road to California. He was off at last. His success
was a trifle dreadful; his throat choked.
But at the gate he
paused. He did not know if his journey to California would be shorter if he
went down Niagara Avenue or off through Hogan Street. As the storm was very
cold and the point was very important, he decided to withdraw for reflection to
the wood-shed. He entered the dark shanty, and took seat upon the old
chopping-block upon which he was supposed to perform for a few minutes every
afternoon when he returned from school. The wind screamed and shouted at the
loose boards, and there was a rift of snow on the floor to leeward of a crack.
Here the idea of
starting for California on such a night departed from his mind, leaving him
ruminating miserably upon his martyrdom. He saw nothing for it but to sleep all
night in the wood-shed and start for California in the morning bright and
early. Thinking of his bed, he kicked over the floor and found that the
innumerable chips were all frozen tightly, bedded in ice.
Later he viewed with
joy some signs of excitement in the house. The flare of a lamp moved rapidly
from window to window. Then the kitchen door slammed loudly and a shawled
figure sped toward the gate. At last he was making them feel his power. The
shivering child's face was lit with saturnine glee as in the darkness of the
wood-shed he gloated over the evidences of consternation in his home. The
shawled figure had been his Aunt Martha dashing with the alarm to the
neighbors.
The cold of the
wood-shed was tormenting him. He endured only because of the terror he was
causing. But then it occurred to him that, if they instituted a search for him,
they would probably examine the wood-shed. He knew that it would not be manful
to be caught so soon. He was not positive now that he was going to remain away
forever, but at any rate he was bound to inflict some more damage before
allowing himself to be captured. If he merely succeeded in making his mother
angry, she would thrash him on sight. He must prolong the time in order to be
safe. If he held out properly, he was sure of a welcome of love, even though he
should drip with crimes.
Evidently the storm had
increased, for when he went out it swung him violently with its rough and
merciless strength. Panting, stung, half-blinded with the driving flakes, he
was now a waif, exiled, friendless, and poor. With a bursting heart, he thought
of his home and his mother. To his forlorn vision they were as far away as
heaven.
HORACE was undergoing
changes of feeling so rapidly that he was merely moved hither and then thither
like a kite. He was now aghast at the merciless ferocity of his mother. It was
she who had thrust him into this wild storm, and she was perfectly indifferent
to his fate, perfectly indifferent. The forlorn wanderer could no longer weep.
The strong sobs caught at his throat, making his breath come in short, quick
snuffles. All in him was conquered save the enigmatic childish ideal of form,
manner. This principle still held out, and it was the only thing between him
and submission. When he surrendered, he must surrender in a way that deferred
to the undefined code. He longed simply to go to the kitchen and stumble in,
but his unfathomable sense of fitness forbade him.
Presently he found
himself at the head of Niagara Avenue, staring through the snow into the
blazing windows of Stickney's butcher shop. Stickney was the family butcher,
not so much because of a superiority to other Whilomville butchers as because
he lived next door and had been an intimate friend of the father of Horace.
Rows of glowing pigs hung head downward back of the tables, which bore huge
pieces of red beef. Clumps of attenuated turkeys were suspended here and there.
Stickney, hale and smiling, was bantering with a woman in a cloak, who, with a
monster basket on her arm, was dickering for eight cents' worth of something.
Horace watched them through a crusted pane. When the woman came out and passed
him, he went toward the door. He touched the latch with his finger, but
withdrew again suddenly to the sidewalk. Inside Stickney was whistling cheerily
and assorting his knives.
Finally Horace went
desperately forward, opened the door, and entered the shop. His head hung low.
Stickney stopped whistling. "Hello, young man," he cried, "what
brings you here?"
Horace halted, but said
nothing. He swung one foot to and fro over the saw-dust floor.
Stickney had placed his
two fat hands palms downward and wide apart on the table, in the attitude of a
butcher facing a customer, but now he straightened.
"Here," he
said, "what's wrong? What's wrong, kid?"
"Nothin',"
answered Horace, huskily. He labored for a moment with something in his throat,
and afterwards added, "O'ny--I've-- I've run away, and--"
"Run away!"
shouted Stickney. "Run away from what? Who?"
"From home,"
answered Horace. "I don't like it there any more. I--" He had
arranged an oration to win the sympathy of the butcher; he had prepared a table
setting forth the merits of his case in the most logical fashion, but it was as
if the wind had been knocked out of his mind. "I've run away. I--"
Stickney reached an
enormous hand over the array of beef, and firmly grappled the emigrant. Then he
swung himself to Horace's side. His face was stretched with laughter, and he
playfully shook his prisoner. "Come--come--come. What dashed nonsense is
this? Run away, hey? Run away?" Whereupon the child's long-tried spirit
found vent in howls.
"Come, come,"
said Stickney, busily. "Never mind now, never mind. You just come along
with me. It'll be all right. I'll fix it. Never you mind."
Five minutes later, the
butcher, with a great ulster over his apron, was leading the boy homeward.
At the very threshold,
Horace raised his last flag of pride. "No--no," he sobbed. "I
don't want to. I don't want to go in there." He braced his foot against
the step, and made a very respectable resistance.
"Now,
Horace," cried the butcher. He thrust open the door with a bang.
"Hello there!" Across the dark kitchen the door to the living-room
opened and Aunt Martha appeared. "You've found him!" she screamed.
"We've come to
make a call," roared the butcher. At the entrance to the living-room a
silence fell upon them all. Upon a couch, Horace saw his mother lying limp,
pale as death, her eyes gleaming with pain. There was an electric pause before
she swung a waxen hand toward Horace. "My child," she murmured
tremulously. Whereupon the sinister person addressed, with a prolonged wail of
grief and joy, ran to her with speed. "Ma--ma! Ma--ma! Oh, ma-- ma!"
She was not able to speak in a known tongue as she folded him in her weak arms.
Aunt Martha turned
defiantly upon the butcher because her face betrayed her. She was crying. She
made a gesture half military, half feminine. "Won't you have a glass of
our root-beer, Mr. Stickney? We make it ourselves."