THE ARROW OF GOLD A STORY BETWEEN TWO NOTES BY JOSEPH CONRAD Celui qui n'a connu que des hommes
polis et raisonnables,
ou ne connait pas
l'homme, ou ne le
connait qu'a demi.
Caracteres.LONDON:T. FISHER UNWIN, LTD.
ADELPHI TERRACEFirst published in 1919 TO
Richard Curle
The pages which follow
have been extracted from a pile of manuscript which was apparently meant for
the eye of one woman only. She seems to have been the writer's childhood's
friend. They had parted as children, or very little more than children. Years
passed. Then something recalled to the woman the companion of her young days
and she wrote to him: "I have been hearing of you lately. I know where
life has brought you. You certainly selected your own road. But to us, left
behind, it always looked as if you had struck out into a pathless desert. We
always regarded you as a person that must be given up for lost. But you have
turned up again; and though we may never see each other, my memory welcomes you
and I confess to you I should like to know the incidents on the road which has
led you to where you are now."
And he answers her:
"I believe you are the only one now alive who remembers me as a child. I
have heard of you from time to time, but I wonder what sort of person you are
now. Perhaps if I did know I wouldn't dare put pen to paper. But I don't know.
I only remember that we were great chums. In fact, I chummed with you even more
than with your brothers. But I am like the pigeon that went away in the fable
of the Two Pigeons. If I once start to tell you I would want you to feel that
you have been there yourself. I may overtax your patience with the story of my
life so different from yours, not only in all the facts but altogether in
spirit. You may not understand. You may even be shocked. I say all this to
myself; but I know I shall succumb! I have a distinct recollection that in the
old days, when you were about fifteen, you always could make me do whatever you
liked."
He succumbed. He begins
his story for her with the minute narration of this adventure which took about
twelve months to develop. In the form in which it is presented here it has been
pruned of all allusions to their common past, of all asides, disquisitions, and
explanations addressed directly to the friend of his childhood. And even as it
is the whole thing is of considerable length. It seems that he had not only a
memory but that he also knew how to remember. But as to that opinions may
differ.
This, his first great
adventure, as he calls it, begins in Marseilles. It ends there, too. Yet it
might have happened anywhere. This does not mean that the people concerned
could have come together in pure space. The locality had a definite importance.
As to the time, it is easily fixed by the events at about the middle years of
the seventies, when Don Carlos de Bourbon, encouraged by the general reaction
of all Europe against the excesses of communistic Republicanism, made his
attempt for the throne of Spain, arms in hand, amongst the hills and gorges of
Guipuzcoa. It is perhaps the last instance of a Pretender's adventure for a
Crown that History will have to record with the usual grave moral disapproval
tinged by a shamefaced regret for the departing romance. Historians are very
much like other people.
However, History has
nothing to do with this tale. Neither is the moral justification or
condemnation of conduct aimed at here. If anything it is perhaps a little
sympathy that the writer expects for his buried youth, as he lives it over
again at the end of his insignificant course on this earth. Strange
person---yet perhaps not so very different from ourselves.
A few words as to
certain facts may be added.
It may seem that he was
plunged very abruptly into this long adventure. But from certain passages
(suppressed here because mixed up with irrelevant matter) it appears clearly
that at the time of the meeting in the café, Mills had already gathered, in
various quarters, a definite view of the eager youth who had been introduced to
him in that ultra-legitimist salon. What Mills had learned represented him as a
young gentleman who had arrived furnished with proper credentials and who
apparently was doing his best to waste his life in an eccentric fashion, with a
bohemian set (one poet, at least, emerged out of it later) on one side, and on
the other making friends with the people of the Old Town, pilots, coasters,
sailors, workers of all sorts. He pretended rather absurdly to be a seaman
himself and was already credited with an ill-defined and vaguely illegal
enterprise in the Gulf of Mexico. At once it occurred to Mills that this
eccentric youngster was the very person for what the legitimist sympathizers
had very much at heart just then: to organize a supply by sea of arms and
ammunition to the Carlist detachments in the South. It was precisely to confer
on that matter with Doña Rita that Captain Blunt had been despatched from
Headquarters.
Mills got in touch with
Blunt at once and put the suggestion before him. The Captain thought this the
very thing. As a matter of fact, on that evening of Carnival, those two, Mills
and Blunt, had been actually looking everywhere for our man. They had decided
that he should be drawn into the affair if it could be done. Blunt naturally
wanted to see him first. He must have estimated him a promising person, but,
from another point of view, not dangerous. Thus lightly was the notorious (and
at the same time mysterious) Monsieur George brought into the world; out of the
contact of two minds which did not give a single thought to his flesh and
blood.
Their purpose explains
the intimate tone given to their first conversation and the sudden introduction
of Doña Rita's history. Mills, of course, wanted to hear all about it. As to
Captain Blunt I suspect that, at the time, he was thinking of nothing else. In
addition it was Doña Rita who would have to do the persuading; for, after all,
such an enterprise with its ugly and desperate risks was not a trifle to put
before a man---however young.
It cannot be denied
that Mills seems to have acted somewhat unscrupulously. He himself appears to
have had some doubt about it, at a given moment, as they were driving to the
Prado. But perhaps Mills, with his penetration, understood very well the nature
he was dealing with. He might even have envied it. But it's not my business to
excuse Mills. As to him whom we may regard as Mills' victim it is obvious that
he has never harboured a single reproachful thought. For him Mills is not to be
criticized. A remarkable instance of the great power of mere individuality over
the young.
Certain streets have an
atmosphere of their own, a sort of universal fame and the particular affection
of their citizens. One of such streets is the Cannebière, and the jest:
"If Paris had a Cannebière it would be a little Marseilles" is the
jocular expression of municipal pride. I, too, I have been under the spell. For
me it has been a street leading into the unknown.
There was a part of it
where one could see as many as five big cafés in a resplendent row. That
evening I strolled into one of them. It was by no means full. It looked
deserted, in fact, festal and overlighted, but cheerful. The wonderful street
was distinctly cold (it was an evening of carnival), I was very idle, and I was
feeling a little lonely. So I went in and sat down.
The carnival time was
drawing to an end. Everybody, high and low, was anxious to have the last fling.
Companies of masks with linked arms and whooping like red Indians swept the
streets in crazy rushes while gusts of cold mistral swayed the gas lights as
far as the eye could reach. There was a touch of bedlam in all this.
Perhaps it was that
which made me feel lonely, since I was neither masked, nor disguised, nor
yelling, nor in any other way in harmony with the bedlam element of life. But I
was not sad. I was merely in a state of sobriety. I had just returned from my
second West Indies voyage. My eyes were still full of tropical splendour, my
memory of my experiences, lawful and lawless, which had their charm and their
thrill; for they had startled me a little and had amused me considerably. But
they had left me untouched. Indeed they were other men's adventures, not mine.
Except for a little habit of responsibility which I had acquired they had not
matured me. I was as young as before. Inconceivably young---still beautifully
unthinking---infinitely receptive.
You may believe that I
was not thinking of Don Carlos and his fight for a kingdom. Why should I? You
don't want to think of things which you meet every day in the newspapers and in
conversation. I had paid some calls since my return and most of my acquaintance
were legitimists and intensely interested in the events of the frontier of
Spain, for political, religious, or romantic reasons. But I was not interested.
Apparently I was not romantic enough. Or was it that I was even more romantic
than all those good people? The affair seemed to me commonplace. That man was
attending to his business of a Pretender.
On the front page of
the illustrated paper I saw lying on a table near me, he looked picturesque
enough, seated on a boulder, a big strong man with a square-cut beard, his
hands resting on the hilt of a cavalry sabre---and all around him a landscape
of savage mountains. He caught my eye on that spiritedly composed woodcut.
(There were no inane snapshot-reproductions in those days.) It was the obvious
romance for the use of royalists but it arrested my attention.
Just then some masks
from outside invaded the café, dancing hand in hand in a single file led by a
burly man with a cardboard nose. He gambolled in wildly and behind him twenty
others perhaps, mostly Pierrots and Pierrettes holding each other by the hand
and winding in and out between the chairs and tables: eyes shining in the holes
of cardboard faces, breasts panting; but all preserving a mysterious silence.
They were people of the
poorer sort (white calico with red spots, costumes), but amongst them there was
a girl in a black dress sewn over with gold half moons, very high in the neck
and very short in the skirt. Most of the ordinary clients of the café didn't
even look up from their games or papers. I, being alone and idle, stared abstractedly.
The girl costumed as Night wore a small black velvet mask, what is called in
French a "loup." What made her daintiness join that obviously rough
lot I can't imagine. Her uncovered mouth and chin suggested refined prettiness.
They filed past my
table; the Night noticed perhaps my fixed gaze and throwing her body forward
out of the wriggling chain shot out at me a slender tongue like a pink dart. I
was not prepared for this, not even to the extent of an appreciative "Très
jolie," before she wriggled and hopped away. But having been thus
distinguished I could do no less than follow her with my eyes to the door where
the chain of hands being broken all the masks were trying to get out at once.
Two gentlemen coming in out of the street stood arrested in the crush. The
Night (it must have been her idiosyncrasy) put her tongue out at them, too. The
taller of the two (he was in evening clothes under a light wide-open overcoat)
with great presence of mind chucked her under the chin, giving me the view at
the same time of a flash of white teeth in his dark, lean face. The other man
was very different; fair, with smooth, ruddy cheeks and burly shoulders. He was
wearing a grey suit, obviously bought ready-made, for it seemed too tight for
his powerful frame.
That man was not
altogether a stranger to me. For the last week or so I had been rather on the
look-out for him in all the public places where in a provincial town men may
expect to meet each other. I saw him for the first time (wearing that same grey
ready-made suit) in a legitimist drawing-room where, clearly, he was an object
of interest, especially to the women. I had caught his name as Monsieur Mills.
The lady who had introduced me took the earliest opportunity to murmur into my
ear: "A relation of Lord X." (Un proche parent de Lord X.) And then
she added, casting up her eyes: "A good friend of the King." Meaning
Don Carlos of course,
I looked at the proche
parent; not on account of the parentage but marvelling at his air of ease in
that cumbrous body and in such tight clothes, too. But presently the same lady
informed me further: "He has come here amongst us un naufragé."
I became then really
interested. I had never seen a shipwrecked person before. All the boyishness in
me was aroused. I considered a shipwreck as an unavoidable event sooner or
later in my future.
Meantime the man thus
distinguished in my eyes glanced quietly about and never spoke unless addressed
directly by one of the ladies present. There were more than a dozen people in
that drawing-room, mostly women eating fine pastry and talking passionately. It
might have been a Carlist committee meeting of a particularly fatuous
character. Even my youth and inexperience were aware of that. And I was by a
long way the youngest person in the room. That quiet Monsieur Mills intimidated
me a little by his age (I suppose he was thirty-five), his massive
tranquillity, his clear, watchful eyes. But the temptation was too great---and
I addressed him impulsively on the subject of that shipwreck.
He turned his big fair
face towards me with surprise in his keen glance, which (as though he had seen
through me in an instant and found nothing objectionable) changed subtly into
friendliness. On the matter of the shipwreck he did not say much. He only told
me that it had not occurred in the Mediterranean, but on the other side of
Southern France---in the Bay of Biscay. "But this is hardly the place to
enter on a story of that kind," he observed, looking round at the room
with a faint smile as attractive as the rest of his rustic but well-bred
personality.
I expressed my regret.
I should have liked to hear all about it. To this he said that it was not a
secret and that perhaps next time we met. . . .
"But where can we
meet?" I cried. "I don't come often to this house, you know."
"Where? Why on the
Cannebière to be sure. Everybody meets everybody else at least once a day on
the pavement opposite the Bourse."
This was absolutely
true. But though I looked for him on each succeeding day he was nowhere to be
seen at the usual times. The companions of my idle hours (and all my hours were
idle just then) noticed my preoccupation and chaffed me about it in a rather
obvious way. They wanted to know whether she, whom I expected to see, was dark
or fair; whether that fascination which kept me on tenterhooks of expectation
was one of my aristocrats or one of my marine beauties: for they knew I had a
footing in both these---shall we say circles? As to themselves they were the
bohemian circle, not very wide---half a dozen of us led by a sculptor whom we
called Prax for short. My own nick-name was "Young Ulysses." I liked
it.
But chaff or no chaff
they would have been surprised to see me leave them for the burly and
sympathetic Mills. I was ready to drop any easy company of equals to approach
that interesting man with every mental deference. It was not precisely because
of that shipwreck. He attracted and interested me the more because he was not
to be seen. The fear that he might have departed suddenly for England--- (or
for Spain)---caused me a sort of ridiculous depression as though I had missed a
unique opportunity. And it was a joyful reaction which emboldened me to signal
to him with a raised arm across that café.
I was abashed
immediately afterwards, when I saw him advance towards my table with his
friend. The latter was eminently elegant. He was exactly like one of those
figures one can see of a fine May evening in the neighbourhood of the
Opera-house in Paris. Very Parisian indeed. And yet he struck me as not so
perfectly French as he ought to have been, as if one's nationality were an
accomplishment with varying degrees of excellence. As to Mills, he was
perfectly insular. There could be no doubt about him. They were both smiling
faintly at me. The burly Mills attended to the introduction: "Captain
Blunt."
We shook hands. The
name didn't tell me much. What surprised me was that Mills should have
remembered mine so well. I don't want to boast of my modesty but it seemed to
me that two or three days was more than enough for a man like Mills to forget
my very existence. As to the Captain, I was struck on closer view by the
perfect correctness of his personality. Clothes, slight figure, clear-cut,
thin, sun-tanned face, pose, all this was so good that it was saved from the
danger of banality only by the mobile black eyes of a keenness that one doesn't
meet every day in the south of France and still less in Italy. Another thing
was that, viewed as an officer in mufti, he did not look sufficiently
professional. That imperfection was interesting, too.
You may think that I am
subtilizing my impressions on purpose, but you may take it from a man who has
lived a rough, a very rough life, that it is the subtleties of personalities,
and contacts, and events, that count for interest and memory---and pretty well
nothing else. This---you see---is the last evening of that part of my life in
which I did not know that woman. These are like the last hours of a previous
existence. It isn't my fault that they are associated with nothing better at
the decisive moment than the banal splendours of a gilded café and the
bedlamite yells of carnival in the street.
We three, however
(almost complete strangers to each other), had assumed attitudes of serious
amiability round our table. A waiter approached for orders and it was then, in
relation to my order for coffee, that the absolutely first thing I learned of
Captain Blunt was the fact that he was a sufferer from insomnia. In his
immovable way Mills began charging his pipe. I felt extremely embarrassed all
at once, but became positively annoyed when I saw our Prax enter the café in a
sort of mediæval costume very much like what Faust wears in the third act. I
have no doubt it was meant for a purely operatic Faust. A light mantle floated
from his shoulders. He strode theatrically up to our table and addressing me as
"Young Ulysses" proposed I should go outside on the fields of asphalt
and help him gather a few marguerites to decorate a truly infernal supper which
was being organized across the road at the Maison Dorée---upstairs. With
expostulatory shakes of the head and indignant glances I called his attention
to the fact that I was not alone. He stepped back a pace as if astonished by
the discovery, took off his plumed velvet toque with a low obeisance so that
the feathers swept the floor, and swaggered off the stage with his left hand
resting on the hilt of the property dagger at his belt.
Meantime the
well-connected but rustic Mills had been busy lighting his briar and the
distinguished Captain sat smiling to himself I was horribly vexed and
apologized for that intrusion, saying that the fellow was a future great
sculptor and perfectly harmless; but he had been swallowing lots of night air
which had got into his head apparently.
Mills peered at me with
his friendly but awfully searching blue eyes through the cloud of smoke he had
wreathed about his big head. The slim, dark Captain's smile took on an amiable
expression. Might he know why I was addressed as "Young Ulysses" by
my friend? and immediately he added the remark with urbane playfulness that
Ulysses was an astute person. Mills did not give me time for a reply. He struck
in: "That old Greek was famed as a wanderer---the first historical
seaman." He waved his pipe vaguely at me.
"Ah!Vraiment!"
The polite Captain seemed incredulous and as if weary. "Are you a seaman?
In what sense, pray?" We were talking French and he used the term homme de
mer.
Again Mills interfered
quietly. "In the same sense in which you are a military man." (Homme
de guerre.)
It was then that I
heard Captain Blunt produce one of his striking declarations. He had two of
them, and this was the first.
"I live by my
sword."
It was said in an
extraordinary dandified manner which in conjunction with the matter made me
forget my tongue in my head. I could only stare at him. He added more
naturally: "2nd Reg. Castille Cavalry." Then with marked stress in
Spanish, "En las filas legitimas."
Mills was heard,
unmoved, like Jove in his cloud: "He's on leave here."
"Of course I don't
shout that fact on the housetops," the Captain addressed me pointedly,
"any more than our friend his shipwreck adventure. We must not strain the
toleration of the French authorities too much! It wouldn't be correct---and not
very safe either."
I became suddenly
extremely delighted with my company. A man who "lived by his sword,"
before my eyes, close at my elbow! So such people did exist in the world yet! I
had not been born too late! And across the table with his air of watchful,
unmoved benevolence, enough in itself to arouse one's interest, there was the
man with the story of a shipwreck that mustn't be shouted on housetops. Why?
I understood very well
why, when he told me that he had joined in the Clyde a small steamer chartered
by a relative of his, "a very wealthy man," he observed (probably
Lord X, I thought), to carry arms and other supplies to the Carlist army. And
it was not a shipwreck in the ordinary sense. Everything went perfectly well to
the last moment when suddenly the Numancia (a Republican ironclad) had appeared
and chased them ashore on the French coast below Bayonne, In a few words, but
with evident appreciation of the adventure, Mills described to us how he swam
to the beach clad simply in a money belt and a pair of trousers. Shells were
falling all round till a tiny French gunboat came out of Bayonne and shooed the
Numancia away out of territorial waters.
He was very amusing and
I was fascinated by the mental picture of that tranquil man rolling in the surf
and emerging breathless, in the costume you know, on the fair land of France,
in the character of a smuggler of war material. However, they had never
arrested or expelled him, since he was there before my eyes. But how and why
did he get so far from the scene of his sea adventure was an interesting
question. And I put it to him with most naïve indiscretion which did not shock
him visibly. He told me that the ship being only stranded, not sunk, the
contraband cargo aboard was doubtless in good condition. The French
custom-house men were guarding the wreck. If their vigilance could
be---h'm---removed by some means, or even merely reduced, a lot of these rifles
and cartridges could be taken off quietly at night by certain Spanish fishing
boats. In fact, salved for the Carlists, after all. He thought it could be
done. . . .
I said with
professional gravity that given a few perfectly quiet nights (rare on that
coast) it could certainly be done.
Mr. Mills was not
afraid of the elements. It was the highly inconvenient zeal of the French
custom-house people that had to be dealt with in some way.
"Heavens!" I
cried, astonished. "You can't bribe the French Customs. This isn't a
South-American republic."
"Is it a
republic?" he murmured, very absorbed in smoking his wooden pipe.
"Well, isn't
it?"
He murmured again,
"Oh, so little." At this I laughed, and a faintly humorous expression
passed over Mills' face. No. Bribes were out of the question, he admitted. But
there were many legitimist sympathies in Paris. A proper person could set them
in motion and a mere hint from high quarters to the officials on the spot not
to worry over-much about that wreck. . . .
What was most amusing
was the cool, reasonable tone of this amazing project. Mr. Blunt sat by very
detached, his eyes roamed here and there all over the café; and it was while
looking upward at the pink foot of a fleshy and very much foreshortened goddess
of some sort depicted on the ceiling in an enormous composition in the Italian
style that he let fall casually the words, "She will manage it for you
quite easily."
"Every Carlist
agent in Bayonne assured me of that," said Mr. Mills. "I would have
gone straight to Paris only I was told she had fled here for a rest; tired,
discontented. Not a very encouraging report."
"These flights are
well known," muttered Mr. Blunt. "You shall see her all right."
"Yes. They told me
that you . . ."
I broke in: "You
mean to say that you expect a woman to arrange that sort of thing for
you?"
"A trifle, for
her," Mr. Blunt remarked indifferently.
"At that sort of
thing women are best. They have less scruples."
"More
audacity," interjected Mr. Mills almost in a whisper.
Mr. Blunt kept quiet
for a moment, then: "You see," he addressed me in a most refined
tone, "a mere man may suddenly find himself being kicked down the
stairs."
I don't know why I
should have felt shocked by that statement. It could not be because it was
untrue. The other did not give me time to offer any remark. He inquired with
extreme politeness what did I know of South American republics? I confessed
that I knew very little of them. Wandering about the Gulf of Mexico I had a
look-in here and there; and amongst others I had a few days in Haiti which was
of course unique, being a negro republic. On this Captain Blunt began to talk
of negroes at large. He talked of them with knowledge, intelligence, and a sort
of contemptuous affection. He generalized, he particularized about the blacks;
he told anecdotes. I was interested, a little incredulous, and considerably
surprised. What could this man with such a boulevardier exterior that he looked
positively like an exile in a provincial town, and with his drawing-room
manner---what could he know of negroes?
Mills, sitting silent
with his air of watchful intelligence, seemed to read my thoughts, waved his
pipe slightly and explained: "The Captain is from South Carolina."
"Oh," I
murmured, and then after the slightest of pauses I heard the second of Mr. J.
K. Blunt's declarations.
"Yes," he
said. "Je suis Américain, catholique et gentilhomme," in a tone
contrasting so strongly with the smile, which, as it were, underlined the
uttered words, that I was at a loss whether to return the smile in kind or
acknowledge the words with a grave little bow. Of course I did neither and
there fell on us an odd, equivocal silence. It marked our final abandonment of
the French language, I was the one to speak first, proposing that my companions
should sup with me, not across the way, which would be riotous with more than
one "infernal" supper, but in another much more select establishment
in a side street away from the Cannebière. It flattered my vanity a little to
be able to say that I had a corner table always reserved in the Salon des
Palmiers. otherwise Salon Blanc, where the atmosphere was legitimist and
extremely decorous besides---even in Carnival time. "Nine tenths of the
people there," I said, "would be of your political opinions, if
that's an inducement. Come along. Let's be festive," I encouraged them.
I didn't feel
particularly festive, What I wanted was to remain in my company and break an
inexplicable feeling of constraint of which I was aware. Mills looked at me
steadily with a faint, kind smile.
"No," said
Blunt. "Why should we go there? They will be only turning us out in the
small hours, to go home and face insomnia. Can you imagine anything more
disgusting?"
He was smiling all the
time, but his deep-set eyes did not lend themselves to the expression of
whimsical politeness which he tried to achieve. He had another suggestion to
offer. Why shouldn't we adjourn to his rooms? He had there materials for a dish
of his own invention for which he was famous all along the line of the Royal
Cavalry outposts, and he would cook it for us. There were also a few bottles of
some white wine, quite possible, which we could drink out of Venetian cut-glass
goblets. A bivouac feast, in fact. And he wouldn't turn us out in the small
hours. Not he. He couldn't sleep.
Need I say I was
fascinated by the idea? Well, yes. But somehow I hesitated and looked towards
Mills, so much my senior. He got up without a word. This was decisive; for no
obscure premonition, and of something indefinite at that, could stand against
the example of his tranquil personality.
The street in which Mr.
Blunt lived presented itself to our eyes, narrow, silent, empty, and dark, but
with enough gas-lamps in it to disclose its most striking feature a quantity of
flag-poles sticking out above many of its closed portals. It was the street of
Consuls and I remarked to Mr. Blunt that coming out in the morning he could
survey the flags of all nations almost---except his own. (The U. S. consulate
was on the other side of the town.) He mumbled through his teeth that he took
good care to keep clear of his own consulate.
"Are you afraid of
the consul's dog?" I asked jocularly. The consul's dog weighed about a
pound and a half and was known to the whole town as exhibited on the consular
fore-arm in all places, at all hours, but mainly at the hour of the fashionable
promenade on the Prado.
But I felt my jest
misplaced when Mills growled low in my ear: "They are all Yankees
there."
I murmured a confused
"Of course."
Books are nothing. I
discovered that I had never been aware before that the Civil War in America was
not printed matter but a fact only about ten years old. Of course. He was a
South Carolinian gentleman. I was a little ashamed of my want of tact.
Meantime, looking like the conventional conception of a fashionable reveller,
with his opera-hat pushed off his forehead, Captain Blunt was having some
slight difficulty with his latch-key; for the house before which we had stopped
was not one of those many-storied houses that made up the greater part of the
street. It had only one row of windows above the ground floor. Dead walls
abutting on to it indicated that it had a garden. Its dark front presented no
marked architectural character, and in the flickering light of a street lamp it
looked a little as though it had gone down in the world. The greater then was
my surprise to enter a hall paved in black and white marble and in its dimness
appearing of palatial proportions. Mr. Blunt did not turn up the small solitary
gas-jet, but led the way across the black and white pavement past the end of
the staircase, past a door of gleaming dark wood with a heavy bronze handle. It
gave access to his rooms he said; but he took us straight on to the studio at
the end of the passage.
It was rather a small
place tacked on in the manner of a lean-to to the garden side of the house. A
large lamp was burning brightly there. The floor was of mere flagstones but the
few rugs scattered about though extremely worn were very costly. There was also
there a beautiful sofa upholstered in pink figured silk, an enormous divan with
many cushions, some splendid arm-chairs of various shapes (but all very
shabby), a round table, and in the midst of these fine things a small common
iron stove. Somebody must have been attending it lately, for the fire roared
and the warmth of the place was very grateful after the bone-searching cold
blasts of mistral outside.
Mills without a word
flung himself on the divan and, propped on his arm, gazed thoughtfully at a
distant corner where in the shadow of a monumental carved wardrobe an
articulated dummy without head or hands but with beautifully shaped limbs composed
in a shrinking attitude, seemed to be embarrassed by his stare.
As we sat enjoying the
bivouac hospitality (the dish was really excellent and our host in a shabby
grey jacket still looked the accomplished man-about-town) my eyes kept on
straying towards that corner. Blunt noticed this and remarked that I seemed to
be attracted by the Empress.
"It's
disagreeable," I said. "It seems to lurk there like a shy skeleton at
the feast. But why do you give the name of Empress to that dummy?"
"Because it sat
for days and days in the robes of a Byzantine Empress to a painter. . . . I
wonder where he discovered these priceless stuffs. . . . You knew him, I
believe?"
Mills lowered his head
slowly, then tossed down his throat some wine out of a Venetian goblet.
"This house is
full of costly objects. So are all his other houses, so is his place in
Paris---that mysterious Pavilion hidden away in Passy somewhere."
Mills knew the
Pavilion. The wine had, I suppose, loosened his tongue. Blunt, too, lost
something of his reserve. From their talk I gathered the notion of an eccentric
personality, a man of great wealth, not so much solitary as difficult of
access, a collector of fine things, a painter known only to very few people and
not at all to the public market. But as meantime I had been emptying my
Venetian goblet with a certain regularity (the amount of heat given out by that
iron stove was amazing; it parched one's throat, and the straw-coloured wine
didn't seem much stronger than so much pleasantly flavoured water) the voices
and the impressions they conveyed acquired something fantastic to my mind.
Suddenly I perceived that Mills was sitting in his shirt-sleeves. I had not
noticed him taking off his coat. Blunt had unbuttoned his shabby jacket,
exposing a lot of starched shirt-front with the white tie under his dark shaved
chin. He had a strange air of insolence---or so it seemed to me. I addressed
him much louder than I intended really.
"Did you know that
extraordinary man?"
"To know him
personally one had to be either very distinguished or very lucky. Mr. Mills
here . . ."
"Yes, I have been
lucky," Mills struck in. "It was my cousin who was distinguished.
That's how I managed to enter his house in Paris---it was called the
Pavilion--- twice."
"And saw Doña Rita
twice, too?" asked Blunt with an indefinite smile and a marked emphasis.
Mills was also emphatic in his reply but with a serious face.
"I am not an easy
enthusiast where women are concerned, but she was without doubt the most
admirable find of his amongst all the priceless items he had accumulated in
that house---the most admirable. . . ."
"Ah! But, you see,
of all the objects there she was the only one that was alive," pointed out
Blunt with the slightest possible flavour of sarcasm.
"Immensely
so," affirmed Mills. "Not because she was restless, indeed she hardly
ever moved from that couch between the windows---you know."
"No. I don't know.
I've never been in there," announced Blunt with that flash of white teeth
so strangely without any character of its own that it was merely disturbing.
"But she radiated
life," continued Mills. "She had plenty of it, and it had a quality.
My cousin and Henry Allègre had a lot to say to each other and so I was free to
talk to her. At the second visit we were like old friends, which was absurd
considering that all the chances were that we would never meet again in this
world or in the next. I am not meddling with theology but it seems to me that
in the Elysian fields she'll have her place in a very special company."
All this in a
sympathetic voice and in his unmoved manner. Blunt produced another disturbing
white flash and muttered:
"I should say
mixed." Then louder: "As for instance . . ."
"As for instance
Cleopatra," answered Mills quietly. He added after a pause: "Who was
not exactly pretty."
"I should have
thought rather a La Vallière," Blunt dropped with an indifference of which
one did not know what to make. He may have begun to be bored with the subject.
But it may have been put on, for the whole personality was not clearly
definable. I, however, was not indifferent. A woman is always an interesting
subject and I was thoroughly awake to that interest. Mills pondered for a while
with a sort of dispassionate benevolence, at last:
"Yes, Doña Rita as
far as I know her is so varied in her simplicity that even that is
possible," he said. "Yes. A romantic resigned La Vallière . . . who
had a big mouth."
I felt moved to make
myself heard.
"Did you know La
Vallière, too?" I asked impertinently.
Mills only smiled at
me. "No. I am not quite so old as that," he said. "But it's not
very difficult to know facts of that kind about a historical personage. There
were some ribald verses made at the time, and Louis XIV was congratulated on
the possession---I really don't remember how it goes---on the possession of:
. . . de ce bec
amoureux
Qui d'une oreille à
l'autre va,
Tra là, là. or something of
the sort. It needn't be from ear to ear, but it's a fact that a big mouth is
often a sign of a certain generosity of mind and feeling. Young man, beware of
women with small mouths. Beware of the others, too, of course; but a small
mouth is a fatal sign. Well, the royalist sympathizers can't charge Doña Rita
with any lack of generosity from what I hear. Why should I judge her? I have
known her for, say, six hours altogether. It was enough to feel the seduction
of her native intelligence and of her splendid physique. And all that was
brought home to me so quickly," he concluded, "because she had what
some Frenchman has called the `terrible gift of familiarity.' "
Blunt had been
listening moodily. He nodded assent.
"Yes!" Mills'
thoughts were still dwelling in the past. "And when saying good-bye she
could put in an instant an immense distance between herself and you. A slight
stiffening of that perfect figure, a change of the physiognomy: it was like
being dismissed by a person born in the purple. Even if she did offer you her
hand---as she did to me---it was as if across a broad river. Trick of manner or
a bit of truth peeping out? Perhaps she's really one of those inaccessible
beings. What do you think, Blunt?"
It was a direct
question which for some reason (as if my range of sensitiveness had been
increased already) displeased or rather disturbed me strangely. Blunt seemed
not to have heard it. But after a while he turned to me.
"That thick
man," he said in a tone of perfect urbanity, "is as fine as a needle.
All these statements about the seduction and then this final doubt expressed
after only two visits which could not have included more than six hours
altogether and this some three years ago! But it is Henry Allègre that you
should ask this question, Mr. Mills."
"I haven't the
secret of raising the dead," answered Mills good humouredly. "And if
I had I would hesitate. It would seem such a liberty to take with a person one
had known so slightly in life."
"And yet Henry Allègre
is the only person to ask about her, after all this uninterrupted companionship
of years, ever since he discovered her; all the time, every breathing moment of
it, till, literally, his very last breath. I don't mean to say she nursed him.
He had his confidential man for that. He couldn't bear women about his person.
But then apparently he couldn't bear this one out of his sight. She's the only
woman who ever sat to him, for he would never suffer a model inside his house.
That's why the `Girl in the Hat' and the `Byzantine Empress' have that family
air, though neither of them is really a likeness of Doña Rita. . . . You know
my mother?"
Mills inclined his body
slightly and a fugitive smile vanished from his lips. Blunt's eyes were
fastened on the very centre of his empty plate.
"Then perhaps you
know my mother's artistic and literary associations," Blunt went on in a
subtly changed tone. "My mother has been writing verse since she was a
girl of fifteen. She's still writing verse. She's still fifteen---a spoiled
girl of genius. So she requested one of her poet friends---no less than Versoy
himself---to arrange for a visit to Henry Allègre's house. At first he thought
he hadn't heard aright. You must know that for my mother a man that doesn't
jump out of his skin for any woman's caprice is not chivalrous. But perhaps you
do know? . . ."
Mills shook his head
with an amused air. Blunt, who had raised his eyes from his plate to look at
him, started afresh with great deliberation.
"She gives no
peace to herself or her friends. My mother's exquisitely absurd. You understand
that all these painters, poets, art collectors (and dealers in bric-à-brac, he
interjected through his teeth) of my mother are not in my way; but Versoy lives
more like a man of the world. One day I met him at the fencing school. He was
furious. He asked me to tell my mother that this was the last effort of his chivalry.
The jobs she gave him to do were too difficult. But I daresay he had been
pleased enough to show the influence he had in that quarter. He knew my mother
would tell the world's wife all about it. He's a spiteful, gingery little
wretch. The top of his head shines like a billiard ball. I believe he polishes
it every morning with a cloth. Of course they didn't get further than the big
drawing-room on the first floor, an enormous drawing-room with three pairs of
columns in the middle. The double doors on the top of the staircase had been
thrown wide open, as if for a visit from royalty. You can picture to yourself
my mother, with her white hair done in some 18th century fashion and her
sparkling black eyes, penetrating into those splendours attended by a sort of
bald-headed, vexed squirrel---and Henry Allègre coming forward to meet them
like a severe prince with the face of a tombstone Crusader, big white hands,
muffled silken voice, half-shut eyes, as if looking down at them from a
balcony. You remember that trick of his, Mills?"
Mills emitted an
enormous cloud of smoke out of his distended cheeks.
"I daresay he was
furious, too," Blunt continued dispassionately. "But he was extremely
civil. He showed her all the `treasures' in the room, ivories, enamels,
miniatures, all sorts of monstrosities from Japan, from India, from Timbuctoo .
. . for all I know. . . . He pushed his condescension so far as to have the
`Girl in the Hat' brought down into the drawing-room--- half length, unframed.
They put her on a chair for my mother to look at. The `Byzantine Empress' was
already there, hung on the end wall---full length, gold frame weighing half a
ton. My mother first overwhelms the `Master' with thanks, and then absorbs
herself in the adoration of the `Girl in the Hat.' Then she sighs out `It
should be called Diaphanéité, if there is such a word. Ah! This is the last
expression of modernity!' She puts up suddenly her face-à-main and looks
towards the end wall. `And that---Byzantium itself! Who was she, this sullen
and beautiful Empress?'
" `The one I had
in my mind was Theodosia!' Allègre consented to answer. `Originally a slave
girl---from somewhere.'
"My mother can be
marvellously indiscreet when the whim takes her. She finds nothing better to do
than to ask the `Master' why he took his inspiration for those two faces from
the same model. No doubt she was proud of her discerning eye. It was really
clever of her. Allègre, however, looked on it as a colossal impertinence; but
he answered in his silkiest tones
" `Perhaps it is
because I saw in that woman something of the women of all time.'
"My mother might
have guessed that she was on thin ice there. She is extremely intelligent.
Moreover, she ought to have known. But women can be miraculously dense sometimes.
So she exclaims, `Then she is a wonder!' And with some notion of being
complimentary goes on to say that only the eyes of the discoverer of so many
wonders of art could have discovered something so marvellous in life. I suppose
Allègre lost his temper altogether then; or perhaps he only wanted to pay my
mother out, for all these `Masters' she had been throwing at his head for the
last two hours. He insinuates with the utmost politeness:
" `As you are
honouring my poor collection with a visit you may like to judge for yourself as
to the inspiration of these two pictures. She is upstairs changing her dress
after our morning ride. But she wouldn't be very long. She might be a little
surprised at first to be called down like this, but with a few words of preparation
and purely as a matter of art . . .'
"There were never
two people more taken aback. Versoy himself confesses that he dropped his tall
hat with a crash. I am a dutiful son, I hope, but I must say I should have
liked to have seen the retreat down the great staircase. Ha! Ha! Ha!"
He laughed most
undutifully and then his face twitched grimly.
"That implacable
brute Allègre followed them down ceremoniously and put my mother into the
fiacre at the door with the greatest deference. He didn't open his lips though,
and made a great bow as the fiacre drove away. My mother didn't recover from
her consternation for three days. I lunch with her almost daily and I couldn't
imagine what was the matter. Then one day . . ."
He glanced round the
table, jumped up and with a word of excuse left the studio by a small door in a
corner. This startled me into the consciousness that I had been as if I had not
existed for these two men. With his elbows propped on the table Mills had his
hands in front of his face clasping the pipe from which he extracted now and
then a puff of smoke, staring stolidly across the room.
I was moved to ask in a
whisper:
"Do you know him
well?"
"I don't know what
he is driving at," he answered drily. "But as to his mother she is
not as volatile as all that. I suspect it was business. It may have been a deep
plot to get a picture out of Allègre for somebody. My cousin as likely as not.
Or simply to discover what he had. The Blunts lost all their property and in
Paris there are various ways of making a little money, without actually
breaking anything. Not even the law. And Mrs. Blunt really had a position
once---in the days of the Second Empire---and so . . ."
I listened open-mouthed
to these things into which my West-Indian experiences could not have given me
an insight. But Mills checked himself and ended in a changed tone.
"It's not easy to
know what she would be at, either, in any given instance. For the rest,
spotlessly honourable. A delightful, aristocratic old lady. Only poor."
A bump at the door
silenced him and immediately Mr. John Blunt, Captain of Cavalry in the Army of
Legitimity, first-rate cook (as to one dish at least), and generous host,
entered clutching the necks of four more bottles between the fingers of his
hand.
"I stumbled and
nearly smashed the lot," he remarked casually. But even I, with all my
innocence, never for a moment believed he had stumbled accidentally. During the
uncorking and the filling up of glasses a profound silence reigned; but neither
of us took it seriously---any more than his stumble.
"One day," he
went on again in that curiously flavoured voice of his, "my mother took a
heroic decision and made up her mind to get up in the middle of the night. You
must understand my mother's phraseology. It meant that she would be up and
dressed by nine o'clock. This time it was not Versoy that was commanded for
attendance, but I. You may imagine how delighted I was. . . ."
It was very plain to me
that Blunt was addressing himself exclusively to Mills: Mills the mind, even
more than Mills the man. It was as if Mills represented something initiated and
to be reckoned with. I, of course, could have no such pretensions. If I
represented anything it was a perfect freshness of sensations and a refreshing
ignorance, not so much of what life may give one (as to that I had some ideas
at least) but of what it really contains. I knew very well that I was utterly
insignificant in these men's eyes. Yet my attention was not checked by that
knowledge. It's true they were talking of a woman, but I was yet at the age
when this subject by itself is not of overwhelming interest. My imagination
would have been more stimulated probably by the adventures and fortunes of a
man. What kept my interest from flagging was Mr. Blunt himself. The play of the
white gleams of his smile round the suspicion of grimness of his tone
fascinated me like a moral incongruity.
So at the age when one
sleeps well indeed but does feel sometimes as if the need of sleep were a mere
weakness of a distant old age, I kept easily awake; and in my freshness I was
kept amused by the contrast of personalities, of the disclosed facts and moral
outlook with the rough initiations of my West-Indian experience. And all these
things were dominated by a feminine figure which to my imagination had only a
floating outline, now invested with the grace of girlhood, now with the
prestige of a woman; and indistinct in both these characters. For these two men
had seen her, while to me she was only being "presented," elusively,
in vanishing words, in the shifting tones of an unfamiliar voice.
She was being presented
to me now in the Bois de Boulogne at the early hour of the ultra-fashionable
world (so I understood), on a light bay "bit of blood" attended on
the off side by that Henry Allègre mounted on a dark brown powerful weight
carrier; and on the other by one of Allègre's acquaintances (the man had no
real friends), distinguished frequenters of that mysterious Pavilion. And so
that side of the frame in which that woman appeared to one down the perspective
of the great Allée was not permanent. That morning when Mr. Blunt had to escort
his mother there for the gratification of her irresistible curiosity (of which
he highly disapproved) there appeared in succession, at that woman's or girl's
bridle-hand, a cavalry general in red breeches, on whom she was smiling; a
rising politician in a grey suit, who talked to her with great animation but
left her side abruptly to join a personage in a red fez and mounted on a white
horse; and then, some time afterwards, the vexed Mr. Blunt and his indiscreet
mother (though I really couldn't see where the harm was) had one more chance of
a good stare. The third party that time was the Royal Pretender (Allègre had
been painting his portrait lately), whose hearty, sonorous laugh was heard long
before the mounted trio came riding very slowly abreast of the Blunts. There
was colour in the girl's face. She was not laughing. Her expression was serious
and her eyes thoughtfully downcast. Blunt admitted that on that occasion the
charm, brilliance, and force of her personality was adequately framed between
those magnificently mounted, paladin-like attendants, one older than the other
but the two composing together admirably in the different stages of their
manhood. Mr. Blunt had never before seen Henry Allègre so close. Allègre was
riding nearest to the path on which Blunt was dutifully giving his arm to his
mother (they had got out of their fiacre) and wondering if that confounded
fellow would have the impudence to take off his hat. But he did not. Perhaps he
didn't notice. Allègre was not a man of wandering glances. There were silver
hairs in his beard but he looked as solid as a statue Less than three months
afterwards he was gone.
"What was
it?" asked Mills, who had not changed his pose for a very long time.
"Oh, an accident.
But he lingered. They were on their way to Corsica. A yearly pilgrimage.
Sentimental perhaps. It was to Corsica that he carried her off---I mean first
of all."
There was the slightest
contraction of Mr. Blunt's facial muscles. Very slight; but I, staring at the
narrator after the manner of all simple souls, noticed it; the twitch of a pain
which surely must have been mental. There was also a suggestion of effort
before he went on: "I suppose you know how he got hold of her?" in a
tone of case which was astonishingly ill-assumed for such a worldly,
self-controlled, drawing-room person.
Mills changed his
attitude to look at him fixedly for a moment. Then he leaned back in his chair
and with interest--- I don't mean curiosity, I mean interest: "Does
anybody know besides the two parties concerned?" he asked, with something
as it were renewed (or was it refreshed?) in his unmoved quietness. "I ask
because one has never heard any tales. I remember one evening in a restaurant
seeing a man come in with a lady---a beautiful lady---very particularly
beautiful, as though she had been stolen out of Mahomet's paradise. With Doña
Rita it can't be anything as definite as that. But speaking of her in the same
strain, I've always felt that she looked as though Allègre had caught her in
the precincts of some temple . . . in the mountains."
I was delighted. I had
never heard before a woman spoken about in that way, a real live woman that is,
not a woman in a book. For this was no poetry and yet it seemed to put her in
the category of visions. And I would have lost myself in it if Mr. Blunt had
not, most unexpectedly, addressed himself to me.
"I told you that
man was as fine as a needle." . . . And then to Mills: "Out of a
temple? We know what that means." His dark eyes flashed: "And must it
be really in the mountains?" he added.
"Or in a
desert," conceded Mills, "if you prefer that. There have been temples
in deserts, you know."
Blunt had calmed down
suddenly and assumed a nonchalant pose.
"As a matter of
fact, Henry Allègre caught her very early one morning in his own old garden
full of thrushes and other small birds. She was sitting on a stone, a fragment
of some old balustrade, with her feet in the damp grass, and reading a tattered
book of some kind. She had on a short, black, two-penny frock (une petite robe
de deux sous) and there was a hole in one of her stockings. She raised her eyes
and saw him looking down at her thoughtfully over that ambrosian beard of his,
like Jove at a mortal. They exchanged a good long stare, for at first she was
too startled to move; and then he murmured, "Restez donc." She
lowered her eyes again on her book and after a while heard him walk away on the
path. Her heart thumped while she listened to the little birds filling the air
with their noise. She was not frightened. I am telling you this positively
because she has told me the tale herself. What better authority can you have .
. .?" Blunt paused.
"That's true.
She's not the sort of person to lie about her own sensations," murmured
Mills above his clasped hands.
"Nothing can
escape his penetration," Blunt remarked to me with that equivocal urbanity
which made me always feel uncomfortable on Mills' account. "Positively
nothing." He turned to Mills again. "After some minutes of
immobility---she told me---she arose from her stone and walked slowly on the
track of that apparition. Allègre was nowhere to be seen by that time. Under
the gateway of the extremely ugly tenement house, which hides the Pavilion and
the garden from the street, the wife of the porter was waiting with her arms
akimbo. At once she cried out to Rita: `You were caught by our gentleman.'
"As a matter of
fact, that old woman, being a friend of Rita's aunt, allowed the girl to come
into the garden whenever Allègre was away. But Allègre's goings and comings
were sudden and unannounced; and that morning, Rita, crossing the narrow,
thronged street, had slipped in through the gateway in ignorance of Allègre's
return and unseen by the porter's wife.
"The child, she
was but little more than that then, expressed her regret of having perhaps got
the kind porter's wife into trouble.
"The old woman
said with a peculiar smile: `Your face is not of the sort that gets other
people into trouble. My gentleman wasn't angry. He says you may come in any
morning you like.'
"Rita, without
saying anything to this, crossed the street back again to the warehouse full of
oranges where she spent most of her waking hours. Her dreaming, empty, idle,
thoughtless, unperturbed hours, she calls them. She crossed the street with a
hole in her stocking. She had a hole in her stocking not because her uncle and
aunt were poor (they had around them never less than eight thousand oranges,
mostly in cases) but because she was then careless and untidy and totally
unconscious of her personal appearance. She told me herself that she was not
even conscious then of her personal existence. She was a mere adjunct in the
twilight life of her aunt, a Frenchwoman, and her uncle, the orange merchant, a
Basque peasant, to whom her other uncle, the great man of the family, the
priest of some parish in the hills near Tolosa, had sent her up at the age of
thirteen or thereabouts for safe keeping. She is of peasant stock, you know.
This is the true origin of the `Girl in the Hat' and of the `Byzantine Empress'
which excited my dear mother so much; of the mysterious girl that the
privileged personalities great in art, in letters, in politics, or simply in
the world, could see on the big sofa during the gatherings in Allègre's
exclusive Pavilion: the Doña Rita of their respectful addresses, manifest and
mysterious, like an object of art from some unknown period; the Doña Rita of
the initiated Paris. Doña Rita and nothing more---unique and indefinable."
He stopped with a disagreeable smile.
"And of peasant
stock?" I exclaimed in the strangely conscious silence that fell between
Mills and Blunt.
"Oh! All these
Basques have been ennobled by Don Sanche II," said Captain Blunt moodily.
"You see coats of arms carved over the doorways of the most miserable
caserios. As far as that goes she's Doña Rita right enough whatever else she is
or is not in herself or in the eyes of others. In your eyes, for instance,
Mills. Eh?"
For a time Mills
preserved that conscious silence.
"Why think about
it at all?" he murmured coldly at last. "A strange bird is hatched
sometimes in a nest in an unaccountable way and then the fate of such a bird is
bound to be ill-defined, uncertain, questionable. And so that is how Henry Allègre
saw her first? And what happened next?"
"What happened
next?" repeated Mr. Blunt, with an affected surprise in his tone. "Is
it necessary to ask that question ? If you had asked how the next happened. . .
. But as you may imagine she hasn't told me anything about that. She
didn't," he continued with polite sarcasm, "enlarge upon the facts.
That confounded Allègre, with his impudent assumption of princely airs, must
have (I shouldn't wonder) made the fact of his notice appear as a sort of
favour dropped from Olympus. I really can't tell how the minds and the
imaginations of such aunts and uncles are affected by such rare visitations.
Mythology may give us a hint. There is the story of Danae, for instance."
"There is,"
remarked Mills calmly, "but I don't remember any aunt or uncle in that
connection."
"And there are
also certain stories of the discovery and acquisition of some unique objects of
art. The sly approaches, the astute negotiations, the lying and the
circumventing . . . for the love of beauty, you know."
With his dark face and
with the perpetual smiles playing about his grimness, Mr. Blunt appeared to me
positively satanic. Mills' hand was toying absently with an empty glass. Again
they had forgotten my existence altogether.
"I don't know how
an object of art would feel," went on Blunt, in an unexpectedly grating
voice, which, however, recovered its tone immediately. "I don't know. But
I do know that Rita herself was not a Danae, never, not at any time of her
life. She didn't mind the holes in her stockings. She wouldn't mind holes in
her stockings now. . . . That is if she manages to keep any stockings at
all," he added, with a sort of suppressed fury so funnily unexpected that
I would have burst into a laugh if I hadn't been lost in astonishment of the
simplest kind.
"No---really!"
There was a flash of interest from the quiet Mills.
"Yes,
really," Blunt nodded and knitted his brows very devilishly indeed.
"She may yet be left without a single pair of stockings."
"The world's a
thief," declared Mills, with the utmost composure. "It wouldn't mind
robbing a lonely traveller."
"He is so
subtle." Blunt remembered my existence for the purpose of that remark and
as usual it made me very uncomfortable. "Perfectly true. A lonely
traveller. They are all in the scramble from the lowest to the highest.
Heavens! What a gang! There was even an Archbishop in it."
"Vous
plaisantez," said Mills, but without any marked show of incredulity.
"I joke very
seldom," Blunt protested earnestly. "That's why I haven't mentioned
His Majesty---whom God preserve. That would have been an exaggeration. . . .
However, the end is not yet. We were talking about the beginning. I have heard
that some dealers in fine objects, quite mercenary people of course (my mother
has an experience in that world), show sometimes an astonishing reluctance to
part with some specimens, even at a good price. It must be very funny. It's
just possible that the uncle and the aunt have been rolling in tears on the
floor, amongst their oranges, or beating their heads against the walls from
rage and despair. But I doubt it. And in any case Allègre is not the sort of
person that gets into any vulgar trouble. And it's just possible that those
people stood open-mouthed at all that magnificence. They weren't poor, you
know; therefore it wasn't incumbent on them to be honest. They are still there
in the old respectable warehouse, I understand. They have kept their position
in their quartier, I believe. But they didn't keep their niece. It might have
been an act of sacrifice! For I seem to remember hearing that after attending
for a while some school round the corner the child had been set to keep the
books of that orange business. However it might have been, the first fact in
Rita's and Allègre's common history is a journey to Italy, and then to Corsica.
You know Allègre had a house in Corsica somewhere. She has it now as she has
everything he ever had; and that Corsican palace is the portion that will stick
the longest to Doña Rita, I imagine. Who would want to buy a place like that? I
suppose nobody would take it for a gift. The fellow was having houses built all
over the place. This very house where we are sitting belonged to him. Doña Rita
has given it to her sister, I understand. Or at any rate the sister runs it.
She is my landlady . . ."
"Her sister
here!" I exclaimed. "Her sister!"
Blunt turned to me
politely, but only for a long mute gaze. His eyes were in deep shadow and it
struck me for the first time then that there was something fatal in that man's
aspect as soon as he fell silent. I think the effect was purely physical, but
in consequence whatever he said seemed inadequate and as if produced by a
commonplace, if uneasy, soul.
"Doña Rita brought
her down from her mountains on purpose. She is asleep somewhere in this house,
in one of the vacant rooms. She lets them, you know, at extortionate prices,
that is, if people will pay them, for she is easily intimidated. You see, she
has never seen such an enormous town before in her life, nor yet so many
strange people. She has been keeping house for the uncle-priest in some
mountain gorge for years and years. It's extraordinary he should have let her
go. There is something mysterious there, some reason or other. It's either
theology or Family. The saintly uncle in his wild parish would know nothing of
any other reasons. She wears a rosary at her waist. Directly she had seen some
real money she developed a love of it. If you stay with me long enough, and I
hope you will (I really can't sleep), you will see her going out to mass at
half-past six; but there is nothing remarkable in her; just a peasant woman of
thirty-four or so. A rustic nun. . . ."
I may as well say at
once that we didn't stay as long as that. It was not that morning that I saw
for the first time Therese of the whispering lips and downcast eyes slipping
out to an early mass from the house of iniquity into the early winter murk of
the city of perdition, in a world steeped in sin. No. It was not on that
morning that I saw Doña Rita's incredible sister with her brown, dry face, her
gliding motion, and her really nun-like dress, with a black handkerchief
enfolding her head tightly, with the two pointed ends hanging down her back.
Yes, nun-like enough. And yet not altogether. People would have turned round
after her if those dartings out to the half-past six mass hadn't been the only
occasion on which she ventured into the impious streets. She was frightened of
the streets, but in a particular way, not as if of a danger but as if of a
contamination. Yet she didn't fly back to her mountains because at bottom she
had an indomitable character, a peasant tenacity of purpose, predatory
instincts. . . .
No, we didn't remain
long enough with Mr. Blunt to see even as much as her back glide out of the
house on her prayerful errand. She was prayerful. She was terrible. Her
one-idead peasant mind was as inaccessible as a closed iron safe. She was
fatal. . . . It's perfectly ridiculous to confess that they all seem fatal to
me now; but writing to you like this in all sincerity I don't mind appearing
ridiculous. I suppose fatality must be expressed, embodied, like other forces
of this earth; and if so why not in such people as well as in other more
glorious or more frightful figures?
We remained, however,
long enough to let Mr. Blunt's half-hidden acrimony develop itself or prey on
itself in further talk about the man Allègre and the girl Rita. Mr. Blunt,
still addressing Mills with that story, passed on to what he called the second
act, the disclosure, with, what he called, the characteristic Allègre
impudence--- which surpassed the impudence of kings, millionaires, or tramps,
by many degrees---the revelation of Rita's existence to the world at large. It
wasn't a very large world, but then it was most choicely composed. How is one
to describe it shortly? In a sentence it was the world that rides in the
morning in the Bois.
In something less than
a year and a half from the time he found her sitting on a broken fragment of
stone work buried in the grass of his wild garden, full of thrushes, starlings,
and other innocent creatures of the air, he had given her amongst other
accomplishments the art of sitting admirably on a horse, and directly they
returned to Paris he took her out with him for their first morning ride.
"I leave you to
judge of the sensation," continued Mr. Blunt, with a faint grimace, as
though the words had an acrid taste in his mouth. "And the
consternation," he added venomously. "Many of those men on that great
morning had some one of their womenkind with them. But their hats had to go off
all the same, especially the hats of the fellows who were under some sort of
obligation to Allègre. You would be astonished to hear the names of people, of
real personalities in the world, who, not to mince matters, owed money to Allègre.
And I don't mean in the world of art only. In the first rout of the surprise
some story of an adopted daughter was set abroad hastily, I believe. You know
`adopted' with a peculiar accent on the word---and it was plausible enough. I
have been told that at that time she looked extremely youthful by his side, I
mean extremely youthful in expression, in the eyes, in the smile. She must have
been . . ."
Blunt pulled himself up
short, but not so short as not to let the confused murmur of the word
"adorable" reach our attentive cars.
The heavy Mills made a
slight movement in his chair. The effect on me was more inward, a strange
emotion which left me perfectly still; and for the moment of silence Blunt
looked more fatal than ever.
"I understand it
didn't last very long," he addressed us politely again. "And no
wonder! The sort of talk she would have heard during that first springtime in
Paris would have put an impress on a much less receptive personality; for of
course Allègre didn't close his doors to his friends and this new apparition
was not of the sort to make them keep away. After that first morning she always
had somebody to ride at her bridle hand. Old Doyen, the sculptor, was the first
to approach them. At that age a man may venture on anything. He rides a strange
animal like a circus horse. Rita had spotted him out of the corner of her eye
as he passed them, putting up his enormous paw in a still more enormous glove,
airily, you know, like this" (Blunt waved his hand above his head),
"to Allègre. He passes on. All at once he wheels his fantastic animal
round and comes trotting after them. With the merest casual ` Bonjour, Allègre'
he ranges close to her on the other side and addresses her, hat in hand, in
that booming voice of his like a deferential roar of the sea very far away. His
articulation is not good, and the first words she really made out were `I am an
old sculptor. . . . Of course there is that habit. . . . But I can see you
through all that. . . .'
"He put his hat on
very much on one side. `I am a great sculptor of women,' he declared. `I gave
up my life to them, poor unfortunate creatures, the most beautiful, the
wealthiest, the most loved. . . . Two generations of them. . . . Just look at
me full in the eyes,mon enfant.'
"They stared at
each other. Doña Rita confessed to me that the old fellow made her heart beat
with such force that she couldn't manage to smile at him. And she saw his eyes
run full of tears. He wiped them simply with the back of his hand and went on
booming faintly. `Thought so. You are enough to make one cry. I thought my
artist's life was finished, and here you come along from devil knows where with
this young friend of mine, who isn't a bad smearer of canvases---but it's
marble and bronze that you want. . . . I shall finish my artist's life with
your face; but I shall want a bit of those shoulders, too. . . . You hear, Allèegre,
I must have a bit of her shoulders, too. I can see through the cloth that they
are divine. If they aren't divine I will eat my hat. Yes, I will do your head
and then--- nunc dimittis.'
"These were the
first words with which the world greeted her, or should I say civilization did;
already both her native mountains and the cavern of oranges belonged to a
prehistoric age. `Why don't you ask him to come this afternoon?' Allègre's
voice suggested gently. `He knows the way to the house.'
"The old man said
with extraordinary fervour, `Oh, yes I will,' pulled up his horse and they went
on. She told me that she could feel her heart-beats for a long time. The remote
power of that voice, those old eyes full of tears, that noble and ruined face,
had affected her extraordinarily she said. But perhaps what affected her was
the shadow, the still living shadow of a great passion in the man's heart.
"Allègre remarked
to her calmly: `He has been a little mad all his life.' "
Mills lowered the hands
holding the extinct and even cold pipe before his big face.
"H'm, shoot an
arrow into that old man's heart like this? But was there anything done?"
"A terra-cotta
bust, I believe. Good? I don't know. I rather think it's in this house. A lot
of things have been sent down from Paris here, when she gave up the Pavilion.
When she goes up now she stays in hotels, you know. I imagine it is locked up
in one of these things," went on Blunt, pointing towards the end of the
studio where amongst the monumental presses of dark oak lurked the shy dummy
which had worn the stiff robes of the Byzantine Empress and the amazing hat of
the "Girl," rakishly. I wondered whether that dummy had travelled
from Paris, too, and whether with or without its head. Perhaps that head had
been left behind, having rolled into a corner of some empty room in the
dismantled Pavilion. I represented it to myself very lonely, without features,
like a turnip, with a mere peg sticking out where the neck should have been. .
. . And Mr. Blunt was talking on.
"There are
treasures behind these locked doors, brocades, old jewels, unframed pictures,
bronzes, chinoiseries, Japoneries."
He growled as much as a
man of his accomplished manner and voice could growl. "I don't suppose she
gave away all that to her sister, but I shouldn't be surprised if that timid rustic
didn't lay a claim to the lot for the love of God and the good of the Church. .
. . And held on with her teeth, too," he added graphically.
Mills' face remained
grave. Very grave. I was amused at those little venomous outbreaks of the fatal
Mr. Blunt. Again I knew myself utterly forgotten. But I didn't feel dull and I
didn't even feel sleepy. That last strikes me as strange at this distance of
time, in regard of my tender years and of the depressing hour which precedes
the dawn. We had been drinking that straw-coloured wine, too, I won't say like
water (nobody would have drunk water like that) but, well . . . and the haze of
tobacco smoke was like the blue mist of great distances seen in dreams.
Yes, that old sculptor
was the first who joined them in the sight of all Paris. It was that old glory
that opened the series of companions of those morning rides; a series which
extended through three successive Parisian springtimes and comprised a famous
physiologist, a fellow who seemed to hint that mankind could be made immortal
or at least everlastingly old; a fashionable philosopher and psychologist who
used to lecture to enormous audiences of women with his tongue in his cheek
(but never permitted himself anything of the kind when talking to Rita); that
surly dandy Cabanel (but he only once, from mere vanity), and everybody else at
all distinguished including also a celebrated person who turned out later to be
a swindler. But he was really a genius. . . . All this according to Mr. Blunt,
who gave us all those details with a sort of languid zest covering a secret
irritation.
"Apart from that,
you know," went on Mr. Blunt, "all she knew of the world of men and
women (I mean till Allègre's death) was what she had seen of it from the saddle
two hours every morning during four months of the year or so. Absolutely all,
with Allègre self-denyingly on her right hand, with that impenetrable air of
guardianship. Don't touch! He didn't like his treasures to be touched unless he
actually put some unique object into your hands with a sort of triumphant
murmur, `Look close at that.' Of course I only have heard all this. I am much
too small a person, you understand, to even . . ."
He flashed his white
teeth at us most agreeably, but the upper part of his face, the shadowed
setting of his eyes, and the slight drawing in of his eyebrows gave a fatal
suggestion. I thought suddenly of the definition he applied to himself:
"Americain, catholique et gentilhomme" completed by that startling
"I live by my sword" uttered in a light drawing-room tone tinged by a
flavour of mockery lighter even than air.
He insisted to us that
the first and only time he had seen Allègre a little close was that morning in
the Bois with his mother. His Majesty (whom God preserve), then not even an
active Pretender, flanked the girl, still a girl, on the other side, the usual
companion for a month past or so. Allègre had suddenly taken it into his head
to paint his portrait. A sort of intimacy had sprung up. Mrs. Blunt's remark
was that of the two striking horse-men Allègre looked the more kingly.
"The son of a
confounded millionaire soap-boiler," commented Mr. Blunt through his
clenched teeth. "A man absolutely without parentage. Without a single
relation in the world. Just a freak."
"That explains why
he could leave all his fortune to her," said Mills.
"The will, I
believe," said Mr. Blunt moodily, "was written on a half sheet of
paper, with his device of an Assyrian bull at the head. What the devil did he
mean by it? Anyway it was the last time that she surveyed the world of men and
women from the saddle. Less than three months later . . ."
"Allègre died and
. . ." murmured Mills in an interested manner.
"And she had to
dismount," broke in Mr. Blunt grimly. "Dismount right into the middle
of it. Down to the very ground, you understand. I suppose you can guess what
that would mean. She didn't know what to do with herself. She had never been on
the ground. She . . ."
"Aha!" said
Mills.
"Even eh! eh! if
you like," retorted Mr. Blunt, in an unrefined tone, that made me open my
eyes, which were well opened before, still wider.
He turned to me with
that horrible trick of his of commenting upon Mills as though that quiet man
whom I admired, whom I trusted, and for whom I had already something resembling
affection had been as much of a dummy as that other one lurking in the shadows,
pitiful and headless in its attitude of alarmed chastity.
"Nothing escapes
his penetration. He can perceive a haystack at an enormous distance when he is
interested."
I thought this was
going rather too far, even to the borders of vulgarity; but Mills remained
untroubled and only reached for his tobacco pouch.
"But that's
nothing to my mother's interest. She can never see a haystack, therefore she is
always so surprised and excited. Of course Doña Rita was not a woman about whom
the newspapers insert little paragraphs. But Allègre was the sort of man. A lot
came out in print about him and a lot was talked in the world about her; and at
once my dear mother perceived a haystack and naturally became unreasonably
absorbed in it. I thought her interest would wear out. But it didn't. She had
received a shock and had received an impression by means of that girl. My
mother has never been treated with impertinence before, and the æsthetic
impression must have been of extraordinary strength. I must suppose that it
amounted to a sort of moral revolution, I can't account for her proceedings in
any other way. When Rita turned up in Paris a year and a half after Allègre's
death some shabby journalist (smart creature) hit upon the notion of alluding
to her as the heiress of Mr. Allègre. `The heiress of Mr. Allègre has taken up
her residence again amongst the treasures of art in that Pavilion so well known
to the élite of the artistic, scientific, and political world, not to speak of
the members of aristocratic and even royal families. . . .' You know the sort
of thing. It appeared first in the Figaro, I believe. And then at the end a
little phrase: `She is alone.' She was in a fair way of becoming a celebrity of
a sort. Daily little allusions and that sort of thing. Heaven only knows who
stopped it. There was a rush of `old friends' into that garden, enough to scare
all the little birds away. I suppose one or several of them, having influence
with the press, did it. But the gossip didn't stop, and the name stuck, too,
since it conveyed a very certain and very significant sort of fact, and of
course the Venetian episode was talked about in the houses frequented by my
mother. It was talked about from a royalist point of view with a kind of
respect. It was even said that the inspiration and the resolution of the war
going on now over the Pyrenees had come out from that head. . . . Some of them
talked as if she were the guardian angel of Legitimacy. You know what royalist
gush is like."
Mr. Blunt's face
expressed sarcastic disgust. Mills moved his head the least little bit.
Apparently he knew.
"Well, speaking
with all possible respect, it seems to have affected my mother's brain. I was
already with the royal army and of course there could be no question of regular
postal communications with France. My mother hears or overhears somewhere that
the heiress of Mr. Allègre is contemplating a secret journey. All the noble
Salons were full of chatter about that secret naturally. So she sits down and
pens an autograph: `Madame, Informed that you are proceeding to the place on
which the hopes of all the right thinking people are fixed, I trust to your
womanly sympathy with a mother's anxious feelings, etc., etc.,' and ending with
a request to take messages to me and bring news of me. . . . The coolness of my
mother!"
Most unexpectedly Mills
was heard murmuring a question which seemed to me very odd.
"I wonder how your
mother addressed that note?"
A moment of silence
ensued.
"Hardly in the
newspaper style, I should think," retorted Mr. Blunt, with one of his
grins that made me doubt the stability of his feelings and the consistency of
his outlook in regard to his whole tale. "My mother's maid took it in a
fiacre very late one evening to the Pavilion and brought an answer scrawled on
a scrap of paper: `Write your messages at once' and signed with a big capital
R. So my mother sat down again to her charming writing desk and the maid made
another journey in a fiacre just before midnight; and ten days later or so I
got a letter thrust into my hand at the avanzadas just as I was about to start
on a night patrol, together with a note asking me to call on the writer so that
she might allay my mother's anxieties by telling her how I looked.
"It was signed R
only, but I guessed at once and nearly fell off my horse with surprise."
"You mean to say that
Doña Rita was actually at the Royal Headquarters lately?" exclaimed Mills,
with evident surprise. "Why, we---everybody---thought that all this affair
was over and done with."
"Absolutely.
Nothing in the world could be more done with than that episode. Of course the
rooms in the hotel at Tolosa were retained for her by an order from Royal
Headquarters. Two garret-rooms, the place was so full of all sorts of court
people; but I can assure you that for the three days she was there she never
put her head outside the door. General Mongroviejo called on her officially
from the King. A general, not anybody of the household, you see. That's a
distinct shade of the present relation. He stayed just five minutes. Some
personage from the Foreign department at Headquarters was closeted for about a
couple of hours. That was of course business. Then two officers from the staff
came together with some explanations or instructions to her. Then Baron H., a
fellow with a pretty wife, who had made so many sacrifices for the cause,
raised a great to-do about seeing her and she consented to receive him for a
moment. They say he was very much frightened by her arrival, but after the
interview went away all smiles. Who else? Yes, the Archbishop came. Half an
hour. This is more than is necessary to give a blessing. and I can't conceive
what else he had to give her. But I am sure he got something out of her. Two
peasants from the upper valley were sent for by military authorities and she
saw them, too. That friar who hangs about the court has been in and out several
times. Well, and lastly, I myself. I got leave from the outposts. That was the
first time I talked to her. I would have gone that evening back to the
regiment, but the, friar met me in the corridor and informed me that I would be
ordered to escort that most loyal and noble lady back to the French frontier as
a personal mission of the highest honour. I was inclined to laugh at him. He
himself is a cheery and jovial person and he laughed with me quite readily---
but I got the order before dark all right. It was rather a job, as the
Alphonsists were attacking the right flank of our whole front and there was
some considerable disorder there. I mounted her on a mule and her maid on
another. We spent one night in a ruined old tower occupied by some of our
infantry and got away at daybreak under the Alphonsist shells. The maid nearly
died of fright and one of the troopers with us was wounded. To smuggle her back
across the frontier was another job but it wasn't my job. It wouldn't have done
for her to appear in sight of French frontier posts in the company of Carlist
uniforms. She seems to have a fearless streak in her nature. At one time as we
were climbing a slope absolutely exposed to artillery fire I asked her on
purpose, being provoked by the way she looked about at the scenery, `A little
emotion, eh?' And she answered me in a low voice: `Oh, yes! I am moved. I used
to run about these hills when I was little.' And note, just then the trooper
close behind us had been wounded by a shell fragment. He was swearing awfully
and fighting with his horse. The shells were falling around us about two to the
minute.
"Luckily the
Alphonsist shells are not much better than our own. But women are funny. I was
afraid the maid would jump down and clear out amongst the rocks, in which case
we should have had to dismount and catch her. But she didn't do that; she sat
perfectly still on her mule and shrieked. Just simply shrieked. Ultimately we
came to a curiously shaped rock at the end of a short wooded valley. It was
very still there and the sunshine was brilliant. I said to Doña Rita: `We will
have to part in a few minutes. I understand that my mission ends at this rock.'
And she said: `I know this rock well. This is my country.'
Then she thanked me for
bringing her there and presently three peasants appeared, waiting for us, two
youths and one shaven old man, with a thin nose like a sword blade and
perfectly round eyes, a character well known to the whole Carlist army. The two
youths stopped under the trees at a distance, but the old fellow came quite
close up and gazed at her, screwing up his eyes as if looking at the sun. Then
he raised his arm very slowly and took his red boina off his bald head. I
watched her smiling at him all the time. I daresay she knew him as well as she
knew the old rock. Very old rock. The rock of ages---and the aged
man---landmarks of her youth. Then the mules started walking smartly forward,
with the three peasants striding alongside of them, and vanished between the
trees. These fellows were most likely sent out by her uncle the Cura.
"It was a peaceful
scene, the morning light, the bit of open country framed in steep stony slopes,
a high peak or two in the distance, the thin smoke of some invisible caserios,
rising straight up here and there. Far away behind us the guns had ceased and
the echoes in the gorges had died out. I never knew what peace meant before. .
. ."
"Nor since,"
muttered Mr. Blunt after a pause and then went on. "The little stone
church of her uncle, the holy man of the family, might have been round the
corner of the next spur of the nearest hill. I dismounted to bandage the
shoulder of my trooper. It was only a nasty long scratch. While I was busy
about it a bell began to ring in the distance. The sound fell deliciously on
the ear, clear like the morning light. But it stopped all at once. You know how
a distant bell stops suddenly. I never knew before what stillness meant. While
I was wondering at it the fellow holding our horses was moved to uplift his
voice. He was a Spaniard, not a Basque, and he trolled out in Castilian that
song you know,
" `Oh bells of my
native village,
I am going away . . .
good-bye!'
He had a good voice.
When the last note had floated away I remounted, but there was a charm in the
spot, something particular and individual because while we were looking at it
before turning our horses' heads away the singer said: `I wonder what is the
name of this place,' and the other man remarked: `Why, there is no village
here,' and the first one insisted: `No, I mean this spot, this very place.' The
wounded trooper decided that it had no name probably. But he was wrong. It had
a name. The hill, or the rock, or the wood, or the whole had a name. I heard of
it by chance later. It was---Lastaola."
A cloud of tobacco
smoke from Mills' pipe drove between my head and the head of Mr. Blunt, who,
strange to say, yawned slightly. It seemed to me an obvious affectation on the
part of that man of perfect manners, and, moreover, suffering from distressing
insomnia.
"This is how we
first met and how we first parted," he said in a weary, indifferent tone.
"It's quite possible that she did see her uncle on the way. It's perhaps
on this occasion that she got her sister to come out of the wilderness. I have
no doubt she had a pass from the French Government giving her the completest
freedom of action. She must have got it in Paris before leaving."
Mr. Blunt broke out
into worldly, slightly cynical smiles.
"She can get
anything she likes in Paris. She could get a whole army over the frontier if
she liked. She could get herself admitted into the Foreign Office at one
o'clock in the morning if it so pleased her. Doors fly open before the heiress
of Mr. Allègre. She has inherited the old friends, the old connections. . . .
Of course, if she were a toothless old woman . . . But, you see, she isn't. The
ushers in all the ministries bow down to the ground therefore, and voices from
the innermost sanctums take on an eager tone when they say, ` Faites entrer.'
My mother knows something about it. She has followed her career with the
greatest attention. And Rita herself is not even surprised. She accomplishes
most extraordinary things, as naturally as buying a pair of gloves. People in
the shops are very polite and people in the world are like people in the shops.
What did she know of the world? She had seen it only from the saddle. Oh, she
will get your cargo released for you all right. How will she do it? . . . Well,
when it's done---you follow me, Mills?---when it's done she will hardly know
herself."
"It's hardly
possible that she shouldn't be aware," Mills pronounced calmly.
"No, she isn't an
idiot," admitted Mr. Blunt, in the same matter-of-fact voice. "But
she confessed to myself only the other day that she suffered from a sense of
unreality. I told her that at any rate she had her own feelings surely. And she
said to me: Yes, there was one of them at least about which she had no doubt;
and you will never guess what it was. Don't try. I happen to know, because we
are pretty good friends."
At that moment we all
changed our attitude slightly. Mills' staring eyes moved for a glance towards
Blunt, I, who was occupying the divan, raised myself on the cushions a little
and Mr. Blunt, with half a turn, put his elbow on the table.
"I asked her what
it was. I don't see," went on Mr. Blunt, with a perfectly horrible
gentleness, "why I should have shown particular consideration to the
heiress of Mr. Allègre. I don't mean to that particular mood of hers. It was the
mood of weariness. And so she told me. It's fear. I will say it once again:
Fear. . . ."
He added after a pause,
"There can be not the slightest doubt of her courage. But she distinctly
uttered the word fear."
There was under the
table the noise of Mills stretching his legs.
"A person of
imagination," he began, "a young, virgin intelligence, steeped for
nearly five years in the talk of Allègre's studio, where every hard truth had
been cracked and every belief had been worried into shreds. They were like a
lot of intellectual dogs, you know . . ."
"Yes, yes, of
course," Blunt interrupted hastily, "the intellectual personality
altogether adrift, a soul without a home . . . but I, who am neither very fine
nor very deep, I am convinced that the fear is material."
"Because she
confessed to it being that?" insinuated Mills.
"No, because she
didn't," contradicted Blunt, with an angry frown and in an extremely suave
voice. "In fact, she bit her tongue. And considering what good friends we
are (under fire together and all that) I conclude that there is nothing there
to boast of. Neither is my friendship, as a matter of fact."
Mills' face was the
very perfection of indifference. But I who was looking at him, in my innocence,
to discover what it all might mean, I had a notion that it was perhaps a shade
too perfect.
"My leave is a
farce," Captain Blunt burst out, with a most unexpected exasperation.
"As an officer of Don Carlos, I have no more standing than a bandit. I
ought to have been interned in those filthy old barracks in Avignon a long time
ago. . . . Why am I not? Because Doña Rita exists and for no other reason on
earth. Of course it's known that I am about. She has only to whisper over the
wires to the Minister of the Interior, `Put that bird in a cage for me,' and
the thing would be done without any more formalities than that. . . . Sad world
this," he commented in a changed tone. "Nowadays a gentleman who
lives by his sword is exposed to that sort of thing."
It was then for the
first time I heard Mr. Mills laugh. It was a deep, pleasant, kindly note, not
very loud and altogether free from that quality of derision that spoils so many
laughs and gives away the secret hardness of hearts. But neither was it a very
joyous laugh.
"But the truth of
the matter is that I am ` en mission, " continued Captain Blunt. "I
have been instructed to settle some things, to set other things going, and, by
my instructions, Doña Rita is to be the intermediary for all those objects. And
why? Because every bald head in this Republican Government gets pink at the top
whenever her dress rustles outside the door. They bow with immense deference
when the door opens, but the bow conceals a smirk because of those Venetian
days. That confounded Versoy shoved his nose into that business; he says
accidentally. He saw them together on the Lido and (those writing fellows are
horrible) he wrote what he calls a vignette (I suppose accidentally, too) under
that very title. There was in it a Prince and a lady and a big dog. He
described how the Prince on landing from the gondola emptied his purse into the
hands of a picturesque old beggar, while the lady, a little way off, stood
gazing back at Venice with the dog romantically stretched at her feet. One of
Versoy's beautiful prose vignettes in a great daily that has a literary column.
But some other papers that didn't care a cent for literature rehashed the mere
fact. And that's the sort of fact that impresses your political man, especially
if the lady is, well, such as she is . . ."
He paused. His dark
eyes flashed fatally, away from us, in the direction of the shy dummy; and then
he went on with cultivated cynicism.
"So she rushes
down here. Overdone, weary, rest for her nerves. Nonsense. I assure you she has
no more nerves than I have."
I don't know how he
meant it, but at that moment, slim and elegant, he seemed a mere bundle of
nerves himself, with the flitting expressions on his thin, well-bred face, with
the restlessness of his meagre brown hands amongst the objects on the table.
With some pipe ash amongst a little spilt wine his forefinger traced a capital
R. Then he looked into an empty glass profoundly. I have a notion that I sat
there staring and listening like a yokel at a play. Mills' pipe was lying quite
a foot away in front of him, empty, cold. Perhaps he had no more tobacco. Mr.
Blunt assumed his dandified air---nervously.
"Of course her
movements are commented on in the most exclusive drawing-rooms and also in
other places, also exclusive, but where the gossip takes on another tone. There
they are probably saying that she has got a ` coup de cœur' for some one.
Whereas I think she is utterly incapable of that sort of thing. That Venetian
affair, the beginning of it and the end of it, was nothing but a coup de tête,
and all those activities in which I am involved, as you see (by order of Headquarters,
ha, ha, ha!), are nothing but that, all this connection, all this intimacy into
which I have dropped . . . Not to speak of my mother, who is delightful, but as
irresponsible as one of those crazy princesses that shock their Royal families.
. . ."
He seemed to bite his
tongue and I observed that Mills' eyes seemed to have grown wider than I had
ever seen them before. In that tranquil face it was a great play of feature.
"An intimacy," began Mr. Blunt, with an extremely refined grimness of
tone, "an intimacy with the heiress of Mr. Allègre on the part of . . . on
my part, well, it isn't exactly . . . it's open . . . well, I leave it to you,
what does it look like?"
"Is there anybody
looking on?" Mills let fall, gently, through his kindly lips.
"Not actually,
perhaps, at this moment. But I don't need to tell a man of the world, like you,
that such things cannot remain unseen. And that they are, well, compromising,
because of the mere fact of the fortune."
Mills got on his feet,
looked for his jacket and after getting into it made himself heard while he
looked for his hat.
"Whereas the woman
herself is, so to speak, priceless."
Mr. Blunt muttered the
word "Obviously."
By then we were all on
our feet. The iron stove glowed no longer and the lamp, surrounded by empty
bottles and empty glasses, had grown dimmer.
I know that I had a
great shiver on getting away from the cushions of the divan.
"We will meet
again in a few hours," said Mr. Blunt. "Don't forget to come,"
he said, addressing me. "Oh, yes, do. Have no scruples. I am authorized to
make invitations."
He must have noticed my
shyness, my surprise, my embarrassment. And indeed I didn't know what to say.
"I assure you
there isn't anything incorrect in your coming," he insisted, with the
greatest civility. "You will be introduced by two good friends, Mills and
myself. Surely you are not afraid of a very charming woman. . . . "
I was not afraid, but
my head swam a little and I only looked at him mutely.
"Lunch precisely
at midday. Mills will bring you along. I am sorry you two are going. I shall
throw myself on the bed for an hour or two, but I am sure I won't sleep."
He accompanied us along
the passage into the black-and-white hall, where the low gas flame glimmered
forlornly. When he opened the front door the cold blast of the mistral rushing
down the street of the Consuls made me shiver to the very marrow of my bones.
Mills and I exchanged
but a few words as we walked down towards the centre of the town. In the chill
tempestuous dawn he strolled along musingly, disregarding the discomfort of the
cold, the depressing influence of the hour, the desolation of the empty streets
in which the dry dust rose in whirls in front of us, behind us, flew upon us
from the side streets. The masks had gone home and our footsteps echoed on the
flagstones with unequal sound as of men without purpose, without hope.
"I suppose you
will come," said Mills suddenly.
"I really don't
know," I said.
"Don't you? Well,
remember I am not trying to persuade you; but I am staying at the Hôtel de
Louvre and I shall leave there at a quarter to twelve for that lunch. At a
quarter to twelve, not a minute later. I suppose you can sleep?"
I laughed.
"Charming age,
yours," said Mills, as we came out on the quays. Already dim figures of
the workers moved in the biting dawn and the masted forms of ships were coming
out dimly, as far as the eye could reach down the old harbour.
"Well," Mills
began again, "you may oversleep yourself."
This suggestion was
made in a cheerful tone, just as we shook hands at the lower end of the Cannebière.
He looked very burly as he walked away from me. I went on towards my lodgings.
My head was very full of confused images, but I was really too tired to think.
Sometimes I wonder yet
whether Mills wished me to oversleep myself or not: that is, whether he really
took sufficient interest to care. His uniform kindliness of manner made it
impossible for me to tell. And I can hardly remember my own feelings. Did I
care? The whole recollection of that time of my life has such a peculiar
quality that the beginning and the end of it are merged in one sensation of
profound emotion, continuous and overpowering, containing the extremes of
exultation, full of careless joy and of an invincible sadness---like a
day-dream. The sense of all this having been gone through as if in one great
rush of imagination is all the stronger in the distance of time, because it had
something of that quality even then: of fate unprovoked, of events that didn't
cast any shadow before.
Not that those events
were in the least extraordinary. They were, in truth, commonplace. What to my
backward glance seems startling and a little awful is their punctualness and
inevitability. Mills was punctual. Exactly at a quarter to twelve he appeared
under the lofty portal of the Hôtel de Louvre, with his fresh face, his
ill-fitting grey suit, and enveloped in his own sympathetic atmosphere.
How could I have
avoided him? To this day I have a shadowy conviction of his inherent
distinction of mind and heart, far beyond any man I have ever met since. He was
unavoidable: and of course I never tried to avoid him. The first sight on which
his eyes fell was a victoria pulled up before the hotel door, in which I sat
with no sentiment I can remember now but that of some slight shyness. He got in
without a moment's hesitation, his friendly glance took me in from head to foot
and (such was his peculiar gift) gave me a pleasurable sensation.
After we had gone a
little way I couldn't help saying to him with a bashful laugh: "You know,
it seems very extraordinary that I should be driving out with you like
this." He turned to look at me and in his kind voice:
"You will find
everything extremely simple," he said. "So simple that you will be
quite able to hold your own. I suppose you know that the world is selfish, I
mean the majority of the people in it, often unconsciously I must admit, and
especially people with a mission, with a fixed idea, with some fantastic object
in view, or even with only some fantastic illusion. That doesn't mean that they
have no scruples. And I don't know that at this moment I myself am not one of
them."
"That, of course,
I can't say," I retorted.
"I haven't seen
her for years," he said, "and in comparison with what she was then
she must be very grown up by now. From what we heard from Mr. Blunt she had
experiences which would have matures her more than they would teach her. There
are of course people that are not teachable. I don't know that she is one of
them. But as to maturity that's quite another thing. Capacity for suffering is
developed in every human being worthy of the name."
"Captain Blunt
doesn't seem to be a very happy person," I said. "He seems to have a
grudge against everybody. People make him wince. The things they do, the things
they say. He must be awfully mature."
Mills gave me a
sidelong look. It met mine of the same character and we both smiled without
openly looking at each other. At the end of the Rue de Rome the violent chilly
breath of the mistral enveloped the victoria in a great widening of brilliant
sunshine without heat. We turned to the right, circling at a stately pace about
the rather mean obelisk which stands at the entrance to the Prado.
"I don't know
whether you are mature or not," said Mills humorously. "But I think
you will do. You . . ."
"Tell me," I
interrupted, "what is really Captain Blunt's position there?"
And I nodded at the
alley of the Prado opening before us between the rows of the perfectly leafless
trees.
"Thoroughly false,
I should think. It doesn't accord either with his illusions or his pretensions,
or even with the real position he has in the world. And so what between his
mother and the General Headquarters and the state of his own feelings he . .
."
"He is in love
with her," I interrupted again.
"That wouldn't
make it any easier. I'm not at all sure of that. But if so it can't be a very
idealistic sentiment. All the warmth of his idealism is concentrated upon a
certain ` Américain, Catholique et gentilhomme. . . .' "
The smile which for a
moment dwelt on his lips was not unkind.
"At the same time
he has a very good grip of the material conditions that surround, as it were,
the situation."
"What do you mean?
That Doña Rita" (the name came strangely familiar to my tongue) "is
rich, that she has a fortune of her own?"
"Yes, a
fortune," said Mills. "But it was Allègre's fortune before. . . . And
then there is Blunt's fortune: he lives by his sword. And there is the fortune
of his mother, I assure you a perfectly charming, clever, and most aristocratic
old lady, with the most distinguished connections. I really mean it. She
doesn't live by her sword. She . . . she lives by her wits. I have a notion
that those two dislike each other heartily at times. . . . Here we are."
The victoria stopped in
the side alley, bordered by the low walls of private grounds. We got out before
a wrought-iron gateway which stood half open and walked up a circular drive to
the door of a large villa of a neglected appearance. The mistral howled in the
sunshine, shaking the bare bushes quite furiously. And everything was bright
and hard, the air was hard, the light was hard, the ground under our feet was hard.
The door at which Mills
rang came open almost at once. The maid who opened it was short, dark, and
slightly pockmarked. For the rest, an obvious "femme-de-chambre," and
very busy. She said quickly, "Madame has just returned from her
ride," and went up the stairs leaving us to shut the front door ourselves.
The staircase had a
crimson carpet. Mr. Blunt appeared from somewhere in the hall. He was in riding
breeches and a black coat with ample square skirts. This get-up suited him but
it also changed him extremely by doing away with the effect of flexible
slimness he produced in his evening clothes. He looked to me not at all himself
but rather like a brother of the man who had been talking to us the night
before. He carried about him a delicate perfume of scented soap. He gave us a
flash of his white teeth and said:
"It's a perfect
nuisance. We have just dismounted. I will have to lunch as I am. A lifelong
habit of beginning her day on horseback. She pretends she is unwell unless she
does. I daresay, when one thinks there has been hardly a day for five or six
years that she didn't begin with a ride. That's the reason she is always
rushing away from Paris where she can't go out in the morning alone. Here, of
course, it's different. And as I, too, am a stranger here I can go out with
her. Not that I particularly care to do it."
These last words were
addressed to Mills specially, with the addition of a mumbled remark: "It's
a confounded position." Then calmly to me with a swift smile: "We
have been talking of you this morning. You are expected with impatience."
"Thank you very
much," I said, "but I can't help asking myself what I am doing
here."
The upward cast in the
eyes of Mills who was facing the staircase made us both, Blunt and I, turn
round. The woman of whom I had heard so much, in a sort of way in which I had
never heard a woman spoken of before, was coming down the stairs, and my first
sensation was that of profound astonishment at this evidence that she did really
exist. And even then the visual impression was more of colour in a picture than
of the forms of actual life. She was wearing a wrapper, a sort of dressing-gown
of pale blue silk embroidered with black and gold designs round the neck and
down the front, lapped round her and held together by a broad belt of the same
material. Her slippers were of the same colour, with black bows at the instep.
The white stairs, the deep crimson of the carpet, and the light blue of the
dress made an effective combination of colour to set off the delicate carnation
of that face, which, after the first glance given to the whole person, drew
irresistibly your gaze to itself by an indefinable quality of charm beyond all
analysis and made you think of remote races, of strange generations, of the
faces of women sculptured on immemorial monuments and of those lying unsung in
their tombs. While she moved downwards from step to step with slightly lowered
eyes there flashed upon me suddenly the recollection of words heard at night,
of Allègre's words about her, of there being in her "something of the
women of all time."
At the last step she
raised her eyelids, treated us to an exhibition of teeth as dazzling as Mr.
Blunt's and looking even stronger; and indeed, as she approached us she brought
home to our hearts (but after all I am speaking only for myself) a vivid sense
of her physical perfection in beauty of limb and balance of nerves, and not so
much of grace, probably, as of absolute harmony.
She said to us, "I
am sorry I kept you waiting." Her voice was low pitched, penetrating, and
of the most seductive gentleness. She offered her hand to Mills very frankly as
to an old friend. Within the extraordinarily wide sleeve, lined with black
silk, I could see the arm, very white, with a pearly gleam in the shadow. But
to me she extended her hand with a slight stiffening, as it were a recoil of
her person, combined with an extremely straight glance. It was a finely shaped,
capable hand. I bowed over it, and we just touched fingers. I did not look then
at her face.
Next moment she caught
sight of some envelopes lying on the round marble-topped table in the middle of
the hall. She seized one of them with a wonderfully quick, almost feline,
movement and tore it open, saying to us, "Excuse me, I must . . . Do go
into the dining-room. Captain Blunt, show the way."
Her widened eyes stared
at the paper. Mr. Blunt threw one of the doors open, but before we passed
through it we heard a petulant exclamation accompanied by childlike stamping
with both feet and ending in a laugh which had in it a note of contempt.
The door closed behind
us; we had been abandoned by Mr. Blunt. He had remained on the other side,
possibly to soothe. The room in which we found ourselves was long like a
gallery and ended in a rotunda with many windows. It was long enough for two
fireplaces of red polished granite. A table laid out for four occupied very
little space. The floor inlaid in two kinds of wood in a bizarre pattern was
highly waxed, reflecting objects like still water.
Before very long Doña
Rita and Blunt rejoined us and we sat down around the table; but before we
could begin to talk a dramatically sudden ring at the front door stilled our
incipient animation. Doña Rita looked at us all in turn, with surprise and, as
it were, with suspicion. "How did he know I was here?" she whispered
after looking at the card which was brought to her. She passed it to Blunt, who
passed it to Mills, who made a faint grimace, dropped it on the table-cloth,
and only whispered to me, "A journalist from Paris."
"He has run me to
earth," said Doña Rita. "One would bargain for peace against hard
cash if these fellows weren't always ready to snatch at one's very soul with
the other hand. It frightens me."
Her voice floated
mysterious and penetrating from her lips, which moved very little. Mills was
watching her with sympathetic curiosity. Mr. Blunt muttered: "Better not
make the brute angry." For a moment Doña Rita's face, with its narrow
eyes, its wide brow, and high cheek bones, became very still; then her colour
was a little heightened. "Oh," she said softly, "let him come
in. He would be really dangerous if he had a mind--- you know," she said
to Mills.
The person who had
provoked all those remarks and as much hesitation as though he had been some
sort of wild beast astonished me on being admitted, first by the beauty of his
white head of hair and then by his paternal aspect and the innocent simplicity
of his manner. They laid a cover for him between Mills and Doña Rita, who quite
openly removed the envelopes she had brought with her, to the other side of her
plate. As openly the man's round china-blue eyes followed them in an attempt to
make out the handwriting of the addresses.
He seemed to know, at
least slightly, both Mills and Blunt. To me he gave a stare of stupid surprise.
He addressed our hostess.
"Resting? Rest is
a very good thing. Upon my word, I thought I would find you alone. But you have
too much sense. Neither man nor woman has been created to live alone. . . . After
this opening he had all the talk to himself. It was left to him pointedly, and
I verily believe that I was the only one who showed an appearance of interest.
I couldn't help it. The others, including Mills, sat like a lot of deaf and
dumb people. No. It was even something more detached. They sat rather like a
very superior lot of waxworks, with the fixed but indetermined facial
expression and with that odd air wax figures have of being aware of their
existence being but a sham.
I was the exception; and
nothing could have marked better my status of a stranger, the completest
possible stranger in the moral region in which those people lived, moved,
enjoying or suffering their incomprehensible emotions. I was as much of a
stranger as the most hopeless castaway stumbling in the dark upon a hut of
natives and finding them in the grip of some situation appertaining to the
mentalities, prejudices, and problems of an undiscovered country---of a country
of which he had not even had one single clear glimpse before.
It was even worse in a
way. It ought to have been more disconcerting. For, pursuing the image of the
castaway blundering upon the complications of an unknown scheme of life, it was
I, the castaway, who was the savage, the simple innocent child of nature. Those
people were obviously more civilized than I was. They had more rites, more
ceremonies, more complexity in their sensations, more knowledge of evil, more
varied meanings to the subtle phrases of their language. Naturally! I was still
so young! And yet I assure you, that just then I lost all sense of inferiority.
And why? Of course the carelessness and the ignorance of youth had something to
do with that. But there was something else besides. Looking at Doña Rita, her
head leaning on her hand, with her dark lashes lowered on the slightly flushed
cheek, I felt no longer alone in my youth. That woman of whom I had heard these
things I have set down with all the exactness of unfailing memory, that woman
was revealed to me young, younger than anybody I had ever seen, as young as
myself (and my sensation of my youth was then very acute); revealed with
something peculiarly intimate in the conviction, as if she were young exactly
in the same way in which I felt myself young; and that therefore no misunderstanding
between us was possible and there could be nothing more for us to know about
each other. Of course this sensation was momentary, but it was illuminating; it
was a light which could not last, but it left no darkness behind. On the
contrary, it seemed to have kindled magically somewhere within me a glow of
assurance, of unaccountable confidence in myself: a warm, steady, and eager
sensation of my individual life beginning for good there, on that spot, in that
sense of solidarity, in that seduction.
For this, properly
speaking wonderful, reason I was the only one of the company who could listen
without constraint to the unbidden guest with that fine head of white hair, so
beautifully kept, so magnificently waved, so artistically arranged that respect
could not be felt for it any more than for a very expensive wig in the window
of a hair-dresser. In fact, I had an inclination to smile at it. This proves
how unconstrained I felt. My mind was perfectly at liberty; and so of all the
eyes in that room mine was the only pair able to look about in easy freedom.
All the other listeners' eyes were cast down, including Mills' eyes, but that I
am sure was only because of his perfect and delicate sympathy. He could not
have been concerned otherwise.
The intruder devoured
the cutlets---if they were cutlets. Notwithstanding my perfect liberty of mind
I was not aware of what we were eating. I have a notion that the lunch was a
mere show, except of course for the man with the white hair, who was really
hungry and who, besides, must have had the pleasant sense of dominating the
situation. He stooped over his plate and worked his jaw deliberately while his
blue eyes rolled incessantly; but as a matter of fact he never looked openly at
any one of us. Whenever he laid down his knife and fork he would throw himself
back and start retailing in a light tone some Parisian gossip about prominent
people.
He talked first about a
certain politician of mark. His "dear Rita" knew him. His costume
dated back to '48, he was made of wood and parchment and still swathed his neck
in a white cloth; and even his wife had never been seen in a low-necked dress.
Not once in her life. She was buttoned up to the chin like her husband. Well,
that man had confessed to him that when he was engaged in political
controversy, not on a matter of principle but on some special measure in
debate, he felt ready to kill everybody.
He interrupted himself
for a comment. "I am something like that myself. I believe it's a purely
professional feeling. Carry one's point whatever it is. Normally I couldn't
kill a fly. My sensibility is too acute for that. My heart is too tender also.
Much too tender. I am a Republican. I am a Red. As to all our present masters
and governors, all those people you are trying to turn round your little
finger, they are all horrible Royalists in disguise. They are plotting the ruin
of all the institutions to which I am devoted. But I have never tried to spoil
your little game, Rita. After all, it's but a little game. You know very well
that two or three fearless articles, something in my style, you know, would
soon put a stop to all that underhand backing of your king. I am calling him
king because I want to be polite to you. He is an adventurer, a blood-thirsty,
murderous adventurer, for me, and nothing else. Look here, my dear child, what
are you knocking yourself about for? For the sake of that bandit? Allons donc!
A pupil of Henry Allègre can have no illusions of that sort about any man. And
such a pupil, too! Ah, the good old days in the Pavilion! Don't think I claim
any particular intimacy. It was just enough to enable me to offer my services
to you, Rita, when our poor friend died. I found myself handy and so I came. It
so happened that I was the first. You remember, Rita? What made it possible for
everybody to get on with our poor dear Allègre was his complete, equable, and
impartial contempt for all mankind. There is nothing in that against the purest
democratic principles; but that you, Rita, should elect to throw so much of your
life away for the sake of a Royal adventurer, it really knocks me over. For you
don't love him. You never loved him, you know."
He made a snatch at her
hand, absolutely pulled it away from under her head (it was quite startling)
and retaining it in his grasp, proceeded to a paternal patting of the most
impudent kind. She let him go on with apparent insensibility. Meanwhile his
eyes strayed round the table over our faces. It was very trying. The stupidity
of that wandering stare had a paralysing power. He talked at large with husky
familiarity.
"Here I come,
expecting to find a good sensible girl who had seen at last the vanity of all
those things; half-light in the rooms; surrounded by the works of her favourite
poets, and all that sort of thing. I say to myself: I must just run in and see
the dear wise child, and encourage her in her good resolutions. . . . And I
fall into the middle of an intime lunch-party. For I suppose it is intime. . .
. Eh? Very? H'm, yes . . ."
He was really
appalling. Again his wandering stare went round the table, with an expression
incredibly incongruous with the words. It was as though he had borrowed those
eyes from some idiot for the purpose of that visit. He still held Doña Rita's
hand, and, now and then, patted it.
"It's
discouraging," he cooed. "And I believe not one of you here is a
Frenchman. I don't know what you are all about. It's beyond me. But if we were
a Republic ---you know I am an old Jacobin, sans-culotte and terrorist--- if
this were a real Republic with the Convention sitting and a Committee of Public
Safety attending to national business, you would all get your heads cut off.
Ha, ha . . . I am joking, ha, ha! . . . and serve you right, too. Don't mind my
little joke."
While he was still
laughing he released her hand and she leaned her head on it again without
haste. She had never looked at him once.
During the rather
humiliating silence that ensued he got a leather cigar case like a small valise
out of his pocket, opened it and looked with critical interest at the six
cigars it contained. The tireless femme-de-chambre set down a tray with coffee
cups on the table. We each (glad, I suppose, of something to do) took one, but
he, to begin with, sniffed at his. Doña Rita continued leaning on her elbow, her
lips closed in a reposeful expression of peculiar sweetness. There was nothing
drooping in her attitude. Her face with the delicate carnation of a rose and
downcast eyes was as if veiled in firm immobility and was so appealing that I
had an insane impulse to walk round and kiss the forearm on which it was
leaning; that strong, well-shaped forearm, gleaming not like marble but with a
living and warm splendour. So familiar had I become already with her in my
thoughts! Of course I didn't do anything of the sort. It was nothing
uncontrollable, it was but a tender longing of a most respectful and purely
sentimental kind. I performed the act in my thought quietly, almost solemnly,
while the creature with the silver hair leaned back in his chair, puffing at his
cigar, and began to speak again.
It was all apparently
very innocent talk. He informed his "dear Rita" that he was really on
his way to Monte Carlo. A lifelong habit of his at this time of the year but he
was ready to run back to Paris if he could do anything for his "chère
enfant," run back for a day, for two days, for three days, for any time;
miss Monte Carlo this year altogether, if he could be of the slightest use and
save her going herself. For instance he could see to it that proper watch was
kept over the Pavilion stuffed with all these art treasures. What was going to
happen to all those things? . . . Making herself heard for the first time Doña
Rita murmured without moving that she had made arrangements with the police to
have it properly watched. And I was enchanted by the almost imperceptible play
of her lips.
But the anxious
creature was not reassured. He pointed out that things had been stolen out of
the Louvre, which was, he dared say, even better watched. And there was that
marvellous cabinet on the landing, black lacquer with silver herons, which
alone would repay a couple of burglars. A wheelbarrow, some old sacking, and
they could trundle it off under people's noses.
"Have you thought
it all out?" she asked in a cold whisper, while we three sat smoking to
give ourselves a countenance (it was certainly no enjoyment) and wondering what
we would hear next.
No, he had not. But he
confessed that for years and years he had been in love with that cabinet. And
anyhow what was going to happen to the things? The world was greatly exercised
by that problem. He turned slightly his beautifully groomed white head so as to
address Mr. Blunt directly.
"I had the
pleasure of meeting your mother lately."
Mr. Blunt took his time
to raise his eyebrows and flash his teeth at him before he dropped negligently,
"I can't imagine where you could have met my mother."
"Why, at Bing's,
the curio-dealer," said the other with an air of the heaviest possible
stupidity. And yet there was something in these few words which seemed to imply
that if Mr. Blunt was looking for trouble he would certainly get it. "Bing
was bowing her out of his shop, but he was so angry about something that he was
quite rude even to me afterwards. I don't think it's very good for Madame votre
mère to quarrel with Bing. He is a Parisian personality. He's quite a power in
his sphere. All these fellows' nerves are upset from worry as to what will
happen to the Allègre collection. And no wonder they are nervous. A big art
event hangs on your lips, my dear, great Rita. And by the way, you too ought to
remember that it isn't wise to quarrel with people. What have you done to that
poor Azzolati? Did you really tell him to get out and never come near you
again, or something awful like that? I don't doubt that he was of use to you or
to your king. A man who gets invitations to shoot with the President at
Rambouillet! I saw him only the other evening; I heard he had been winning
immensely at cards; but he looked perfectly wretched, the poor fellow. He
complained of your conduct---oh, very much! He told me you had been perfectly
brutal with him. He said to me: `I am no good for anything, mon cher. The other
day at Rambouillet, whenever I had a hare at the end of my gun I would think of
her cruel words and my eyes would run full of tears. I missed every shot' . . .
You are not fit for diplomatic work, you know, ma chère. You are a mere child
at it. When you want a middle-aged gentleman to do anything for you, you don't
begin by reducing him to tears. I should have thought any woman would have
known that much. A nun would have known that much. What do you say? Shall I run
back to Paris and make it up for you with Azzolati?"
He waited for her
answer. The compression of his thin lips was full of significance. I was
surprised to see our hostess shake her head negatively the least bit, for
indeed by her pose, by the thoughtful immobility of her face she seemed to be a
thousand miles away from us all, lost in an infinite reverie.
He gave it up.
"Well, I must be off. The express for Nice passes at four o'clock. I will
be away about three weeks and then you shall see me again. Unless I strike a
run of bad luck and get cleaned out, in which case you shall see me before
then."
He turned to Mills
suddenly.
"Will your cousin
come south this year, to that beautiful villa of his at Cannes?"
Mills hardly deigned to
answer that he didn't know anything about his cousin's movements.
"Agrand seigneur
combined with a great connoisseur," opined the other heavily. His mouth
had gone slack and he looked a perfect and grotesque imbecile under his wiglike
crop of white hair. Positively I thought he would begin to slobber. But he
attacked Blunt next.
"Are you on your
way down, too? A little flutter. . . . It seems to me you haven't been seen in
your usual Paris haunts of late. Where have you been all this time?"
"Don't you know
where I have been?" said Mr. Blunt with great precision.
"No, I only ferret
out things that may be of some use to me," was the unexpected reply,
uttered with an air of perfect vacancy and swallowed by Mr. Blunt in blank
silence.
At last he made ready
to rise from the table. "Think over what I have said, my dear Rita."
"It's all over and
done with," was Doña Rita's answer, in a louder tone than I had ever heard
her use before. It thrilled me while she continued: "I mean, this
thinking." She was back from the remoteness of her meditation, very much
so indeed. She rose and moved away from the table, inviting by a sign the other
to follow her; which he did at once, yet slowly and as it were warily.
It was a conference in
the recess of a window. We three remained seated round the table from which the
dark maid was removing the cups and the plates with brusque movements. I gazed
frankly at Doña Rita's profile, irregular, animated, and fascinating in an
undefinable way, at her well-shaped head with the hair twisted high up and
apparently held in its place by a gold arrow with a jewelled shaft. We couldn't
hear what she said, but the movement of her lips and the play of her features
were full of charm, full of interest, expressing both audacity and gentleness.
She spoke with fire without raising her voice. The man listened
round-shouldered, but seeming much too stupid to understand. I could see now and
then that he was speaking, but he was inaudible. At one moment Doña Rita turned
her head to the room and called out to the maid, "Give me my hand-bag off
the sofa."
At this the other was
heard plainly, "No, no," and then a little lower, "You have no
tact, Rita. . . ." Then came her argument in a low, penetrating voice
which I caught, "Why not? Between such old friends." However, she
waved away the hand-bag, he calmed down, and their voices sank again. Presently
I saw him raise her hand to his lips, while with her back to the room she
continued to contemplate out of the window the bare and untidy garden. At last
he went out of the room, throwing to the table an airy "Bonjour,
bonjour," which was not acknowledged by any of us three.
Mills got up and approached
the figure at the window. To my extreme surprise, Mr. Blunt, after a moment of
obviously painful hesitation, hastened out after the man with the white hair.
In consequence of these
movements I was left to myself and I began to be uncomfortably conscious of it
when Doña Rita, near the window, addressed me in a raised voice.
"We have no
confidences to exchange, Mr. Mills and l."
I took this for an
encouragement to join them. They were both looking at me. Doña Rita added,
"Mr. Mills and I are friends from old times, you know."
Bathed in the softened
reflection of the sunshine, which did not fall directly into the room, standing
very straight with her arms down, before Mills, and with a faint smile directed
to me, she looked extremely young, and yet mature. There was even, for a
moment, a slight dimple in her cheek.
"How old, I
wonder?" I said, with an answering smile.
"Oh, for ages, for
ages," she exclaimed hastily, frowning a little, then she went on addressing
herself to Mills, apparently in continuation of what she was saying before.
. . . "This man's
is an extreme case, and yet perhaps it isn't the worst. But that's the sort of
thing. I have no account to render to anybody, but I don't want to be dragged
along all the gutters where that man picks up his living."
She had thrown her head
back a little but there was no scorn, no angry flash under the dark-lashed
eyelids. The words did not ring. I was struck for the first time by the even,
mysterious quality of her voice.
"Will you let me
suggest," said Mills, with a grave, kindly face, "that being what you
are, you have nothing to fear?"
"And perhaps
nothing to lose," she went on without bitterness. "No. It isn't fear.
It's a sort of dread. You must remember that no nun could have had a more
protected life. Henry Allègre had his greatness. When he faced the world he
also masked it. He was big enough for that. He filled the whole field of vision
for me."
"You found that
enough?" asked Mills.
"Why ask
now?" she remonstrated. "The truth--- the truth is that I never asked
myself. Enough or not there was no room for anything else. He was the shadow
and the light and the form and the voice. He would have it so. The morning he
died they came to call me at four o'clock. I ran into his room bare-footed. He
recognized me and whispered, `You are flawless.' I was very frightened. He
seemed to think, and then said very plainly, `Such is my character. I am like
that.' These were the last words he spoke. I hardly noticed them then. I was
thinking that he was lying in a very uncomfortable position and I asked him if
I should lift him up a little higher on the pillows. You know I am very strong.
I could have done it. I had done it before. He raised his hand off the blanket
just enough to make a sign that he didn't want to be touched. It was the last
gesture he made. I hung over him and then---and then I nearly ran out of the
house just as I was, in my nightgown. I think if I had been dressed I would
have run out of the garden, into the street---run away altogether. I had never
seen death. I may say I had never heard of it. I wanted to run from it."
She paused for a long,
quiet breath. The harmonized sweetness and daring of her face was made pathetic
by her downcast eyes.
"Fuir la
mort," she repeated, meditatively, in her mysterious voice.
Mills' big head had a
little movement, nothing more. Her glance glided for a moment towards me like a
friendly recognition of my right to be there, before she began again.
"My life might
have been described as looking at mankind from a fourth-floor window for years.
When the end came it was like falling out of a balcony into the street. It was
as sudden as that. Once I remember somebody was telling us in the Pavilion a
tale about a girl who jumped down from a fourth-floor window. . . . For love, I
believe," she interjected very quickly, "and came to no harm. Her
guardian angel must have slipped his wings under her just in time. He must
have. But as to me, all I know is that I didn't break anything---not even my
heart. Don't be shocked, Mr. Mills. It's very likely that you don't
understand."
"Very
likely," Mills assented, unmoved. "But don't be too sure of
that."
"Henry Allègre had
the highest opinion of your intelligence," she said unexpectedly and with
evident seriousness. "But all this is only to tell you that when he was
gone I found myself down there unhurt, but dazed, bewildered, not sufficiently
stunned. It so happened that that creature was somewhere in the neighbourhood.
How he found out. . . . But it's his business to find out things. And he knows,
too, how to worm his way in anywhere. Indeed, in the first days he was useful
and somehow he made it look as if Heaven itself had sent him. In my distress I
thought I could never sufficiently repay. . . Well, I have been paying ever
since."
"What do you
mean?" asked Mills softly. "In hard cash?"
"Oh, it's really
so little," she said. "I told you it wasn't the worst case. I stayed
on in that house from which I nearly ran away in my nightgown. I stayed on
because I didn't know what to do next. He vanished as he had come on the track
of something else, I suppose. You know he really has got to get his living some
way or other. But don't think I was deserted. On the contrary. People were
coming and going, all sorts of people that Henry Allègre used to know---or had
refused to know. I had a sensation of plotting and intriguing around me all the
time. I was feeling morally bruised, sore all over, when, one day, Don Rafael
de Villarel sent in his card. A grandee. I didn't know him, but, as you are
aware, there was hardly a personality of mark or position that hasn't been
talked about in the Pavilion before me. Of him I had only heard that he was a
very austere and pious person, always at Mass, and that sort of thing. I saw a
frail little man with a long, yellow face and sunken fanatical eyes, an
Inquisitor, an unfrocked monk. One missed a rosary from his thin fingers. He
gazed at me terribly and I couldn't imagine what he might want. I waited for
him to pull out a crucifix and sentence me to the stake there and then. But no;
he dropped his eyes and in a cold, righteous sort of voice informed me that he
had called on behalf of the prince---he called him His Majesty. I was amazed by
the change. I wondered now why he didn't slip his hands into the sleeves of his
coat, you know, as begging Friars do when they come for a subscription. He
explained that the Prince asked for permission to call and offer me his
condolences in person. We had seen a lot of him our last two months in Paris
that year. Henry Allègre had taken a fancy to paint his portrait. He used to
ride with us nearly every morning. Almost without thinking I said I should be
pleased. Don Rafael was shocked at my want of formality, but bowed to me in
silence, very much as a monk bows, from the waist. If he had only crossed his
hands flat on his chest it would have been perfect. Then, I don't know why,
something moved me to make him a deep curtsy as he backed out of the room,
leaving me suddenly impressed, not only with him but with myself too. I had my
door closed to everybody else that afternoon and the Prince came with a very
proper sorrowful face, but five minutes after he got into the room he was
laughing as usual, made the whole little house ring with it. You know his big,
irresistible laugh. . . ."
"No," said
Mills, a little abruptly, "I have never seen him."
"No," she
said, surprised, "and yet you . . ."
"I
understand," interrupted Mills. "All this is purely accidental. You
must know that I am a solitary man of books but with a secret taste for
adventure which somehow came out; surprising even me."
She listened with that
enigmatic. still, under the eyelids glance, and a friendly turn of the head.
"I know you for a
frank and loyal gentleman. . . . Adventure---and books? Ah, the books! Haven't
I turned stacks of them over! Haven't I?"
"Yes,"
murmured Mills. "That's what one does."
She put out her hand
and laid it lightly on Mills' sleeve.
"Listen, I don't
need to justify myself, but if I had known a single woman in the world, if I
had only had the opportunity to observe a single one of them, I would have been
perhaps on my guard. But you know I hadn't. The only woman I had anything to do
with was myself, and they say that one can't know oneself. It never entered my
head to be on my guard against his warmth and his terrible obviousness. You and
he were the only two, infinitely different, people, who didn't approach me as
if I had been a precious object in a collection, an ivory carving or a piece of
Chinese porcelain. That's why I have kept you in my memory so well. Oh! you
were not obvious! As to him---I soon learned to regret I was not some object,
some beautiful, carved object of bone or bronze; a rare piece of porcelain, pâte
dure, not pâte tendre. A pretty specimen."
"Rare, yes. Even
unique," said Mills, looking at her steadily with a smile. "But don't
try to depreciate yourself. You were never pretty. You are not pretty. You are
worse."
Her narrow eyes had a
mischievous gleam. "Do you find such sayings in your books?" she
asked.
"As a matter of
fact I have," said Mills, with a little laugh, "found this one in a
book. It was a woman who said that of herself. A woman far from common, who
died some few years ago. She was an actress. A great artist."
"A great! . . .
Lucky person! She had that refuge, that garment, while I stand here with
nothing to protect me from evil fame; a naked temperament for any wind to blow
upon. Yes, greatness in art is a protection. I wonder if there would have been
anything in me if I had tried? But Henry Allègre would never let me try. He
told me that whatever I could achieve would never be good enough for what I
was. The perfection of flattery! Was it that he thought I had not talent of any
sort? It's possible. He would know. I've had the idea since that he was
jealous. He wasn't jealous of mankind any more than he was afraid of thieves
for his collection; but he may have been jealous of what he could see in me, of
some passion that could be aroused. But if so he never repented. I shall never
forget his last words. He saw me standing beside his bed, defenceless, symbolic
and forlorn, and all he found to say was, `Well, I am like that.'"
I forgot myself in
watching her. I had never seen anybody speak with less play of facial muscles.
In the fullness of its life her face preserved a sort of immobility. The words
seemed to form themselves, fiery or pathetic, in the air, outside her lips.
Their design was hardly disturbed; a design of sweetness, gravity, and force as
if born from the inspiration of some artist; for I had never seen anything to
come up to it in nature before or since.
All this was part of
the enchantment she cast over me and I seemed to notice that Mills had the
aspect of a man under a spell. If he too was a captive then I had no reason to
feel ashamed of my surrender.
"And you
know," she began again abruptly, "that I have been accustomed to all
the forms of respect."
"That's
true," murmured Mills, as if involuntarily.
"Well, yes,"
she reaffirmed. "My instinct may have told me that my only protection was
obscurity, but I didn't know how and where to find it. Oh, yes, I had that
instinct . . . But there were other instincts and . . . How am I to tell you? I
didn't know how to be on guard against myself, either. Not a soul to speak to,
or to get a warning from. Some woman soul that would have known, in which
perhaps I could have seen my own reflection. I assure you the only woman that
ever addressed me directly, and that was in writing, was . . ."
She glanced aside, saw
Mr. Blunt returning from the hall and added rapidly in a lowered voice,
"His mother."
The bright, mechanical
smile of Mr. Blunt gleamed at us right down the room, but he didn't, as it
were, follow it in his body. He swerved to the nearest of the two big fireplaces
and finding some cigarettes on the mantelpiece remained leaning on his elbow in
the warmth of the bright wood fire. I noticed then a bit of mute play. The
heiress of Henry Allègre, who could secure neither obscurity nor any other
alleviation to that invidious position, looked as if she would speak to Blunt
from a distance; but in a moment the confident eagerness of her face died out
as if killed by a sudden thought. I didn't know then her shrinking from all
falsehood and evasion; her dread of insincerity and disloyalty of every kind.
But even then I felt that at the very last moment her being had recoiled before
some shadow of a suspicion. And it occurred to me, too, to wonder what sort of
business Mr. Blunt could have had to transact with our odious visitor, of a
nature so urgent as to make him run out after him into the hall? Unless to beat
him a little with one of the sticks that were to be found there? White hair so
much like an expensive wig could not be considered a serious protection. But it
couldn't have been that. The transaction, whatever it was, had been much too
quiet. I must say that none of us had looked out of the window and that I
didn't know when the man did go or if he was gone at all. As a matter of fact
he was already far away; and I may just as well say here that I never saw him
again in my life. His passage across my field of vision was like that of other
figures of that time: not to be forgotten, a little fantastic, infinitely
enlightening for my contempt, darkening for my memory which struggles still
with the clear lights and the ugly shadows of those unforgotten days.
It was past four
o'clock before I left the house, together with Mills. Mr. Blunt, still in his
riding costume, escorted us to the very door. He asked us to send him the first
fiacre we met on our way to town. "It's impossible to walk in this get-up
through the streets," he remarked, with his brilliant smile.
At this point I propose
to transcribe some notes I made at the time in little black books which I have
hunted up in the litter of the past; very cheap, common little note-books that
by the lapse of years have acquired a touching dimness of aspect, the frayed,
worn-out dignity of documents.
Expression on paper has
never been my forte. My life had been a thing of outward manifestations. I
never had been secret or even systematically taciturn about my simple
occupations which might have been foolish but had never required either caution
or mystery. But in those four hours since midday a complete change had come
over me. For good or evil I left that house committed to an enterprise that
could not be talked about; which would have appeared to many senseless and
perhaps ridiculous, but was certainly full of risks, and, apart from that,
commanded discretion on the ground of simple loyalty. It would not only close
my lips but it would to a certain extent cut me off from my usual haunts and
from the society of my friends; especially of the light-hearted, young,
harum-scarum kind. This was unavoidable. It was because I felt myself thrown
back upon my own thoughts and forbidden to seek relief amongst other lives---it
was perhaps only for that reason at first that I started an irregular,
fragmentary record of my days.
I made these notes not
so much to preserve the memory (one cared not for any to-morrow then) but to
help me to keep a better hold of the actuality. I scribbled them on shore and I
scribbled them on the sea; and in both cases they are concerned not only with
the nature of the facts but with the intensity of my sensations. It may be,
too, that I learned to love the sea for itself only at that time. Woman and the
sea revealed themselves to me together, as it were: two mistresses of life's
values. The illimitable greatness of the one, the unfathomable seduction of the
other working their immemorial spells from generation to generation fell upon
my heart at last: a common fortune, an unforgettable memory of the sea's
formless might and of the sovereign charm in that woman's form wherein there
seemed to beat the pulse of divinity rather than blood.
I begin here with the
notes written at the end of that very day.
---Parted with Mills on
the quay. We had walked side by side in absolute silence. The fact is he is too
old for me to talk to him freely. For all his sympathy and seriousness I don't
know what note to strike and I am not at all certain what he thinks of all
this. As we shook hands at parting, I asked him how much longer he expected to
stay. And he answered me that it depended on R. She was making arrangements for
him to cross the frontier. He wanted to see the very ground on which the
Principle of Legitimacy was actually asserting itself arms in hand. It sounded
to my positive mind the most fantastic thing in the world, this elimination of
personalities from what seemed but the merest political, dynastic adventure. So
it wasn't Doña Rita, it wasn't Blunt, it wasn't the Pretender with his big
infectious laugh, it wasn't all that lot of politicians, archbishops, and
generals, of monks, guerrilleros, and smugglers by sea and land, of dubious
agents and shady speculators and undoubted swindlers, who were pushing their
fortunes at the risk of their precious skins. No. It was the Legitimist
Principle asserting itself! Well, I would accept the view but with one reservation.
All the others might have been merged into the idea, but I, the latest recruit,
I would not be merged in the Legitimist Principle. Mine was an act of
independent assertion. Never before had I felt so intensely aware of my
personality. But I said nothing of that to Mills. I only told him I thought we
had better not be seen very often together in the streets. He agreed. Hearty
handshake. Looked affectionately after his broad back. It never occurred to him
to turn his head. What was I in comparison with the Principle of Legitimacy?
Late that night I went
in search of Dominic. That Mediterranean sailor was just the man I wanted. He
had a great experience of all unlawful things that can be done on the seas and
he brought to the practice of them much wisdom and audacity. That I didn't know
where he lived was nothing since I knew where he loved. The proprietor of a
small, quiet café on the quay, a certain Madame Léonore, a woman of thirty-five
with an open Roman face and intelligent black eyes, had captivated his heart
years ago. In that café with our heads close together over a marble table,
Dominic and I held an earnest and endless confabulation while Madame Léonore,
rustling a black silk skirt, with gold earrings, with her raven hair
elaborately dressed and something nonchalant in her movements, would take
occasion, in passing to and fro, to rest her hand for a moment on Dominic's
shoulder. Later when the little café had emptied itself of its habitual
customers, mostly people connected with the work of ships and cargoes, she came
quietly to sit at our table and looking at me very hard with her black,
sparkling eyes asked Dominic familiarly what had happened to his Signorino. It
was her name for me. I was Dominic's Signorino. She knew me by no other; and
our connection has always been somewhat of a riddle to her. She said that I was
somehow changed since she saw me last. In her rich voice she urged Dominic only
to look at my eyes. I must have had some piece of luck come to me either in
love or at cards, she bantered. But Dominic answered half in scorn that I was
not of the sort that runs after that kind of luck. He stated generally that
there were some young gentlemen very clever in inventing new ways of getting
rid of their time and their money. However, if they needed a sensible man to
help them he had no objection himself to lend a hand. Dominic's general scorn
for the beliefs, and activities, and abilities of upper-class people covered
the Principle of Legitimacy amply; but he could not resist the opportunity to
exercise his special faculties in a field he knew of old. He had been a
desperate smuggler in his younger days. We settled the purchase of a fast
sailing craft. Agreed that it must be a balancelle and something altogether out
of the common. He knew of one suitable but she was in Corsica. Offered to start
for Bastia by mail-boat in the morning. All the time the handsome and mature
Madame Léonore sat by, smiling faintly, amused at her great man joining like
this in a frolic of boys. She said the last words of that evening "You men
never grow up," touching lightly the grey hair above his temple.
A fortnight later.
. . . In the afternoon
to the Prado. Beautiful day. At the moment of ringing at the door a strong
emotion of an anxious kind. Why? Down the length of the dining-room in the
rotunda part full of afternoon light Doña R., sitting cross-legged on the divan
in the attitude of a very old idol or a very young child and surrounded by many
cushions, waves her hand from afar pleasantly surprised, exclaiming:
"What! Back already!" I give her all the details and we talk for two
hours across a large brass bowl containing a little water placed between us,
lighting cigarettes and dropping them, innumerable, puffed at, yet untasted in
the overwhelming interest of the conversation. Found her very quick in taking
the points and very intelligent in her suggestions. All formality soon vanished
between us and before very long I discovered myself sitting cross-legged, too,
while I held forth on the qualities of different Mediterranean sailing craft
and on the romantic qualifications of Dominic for the task. I believe I gave
her the whole history of the man, mentioning even the existence of Madame Léonore,
since the little café would have to be the headquarters of the marine part of
the plot.
She murmured, "Ah!
Une belle Romaine," thoughtfully. She told me that she liked to hear
people of that sort spoken of in terms of our common humanity. She observed
also that she wished to see Dominic some day; to set her eyes for once on a man
who could be absolutely depended on, She wanted to know whether he had engaged
himself in this adventure solely for my sake.
I said that no doubt it
was partly that. We had been very close associates in the West Indies from
where we had returned together, and he had a notion that I could be depended
on, too. But mainly, I suppose, it was from taste. And there was in him also a
fine carelessness as to what he did and a love of venturesome enterprise.
"And you,"
she said. "Is it carelessness, too?"
"In a
measure," I said. "Within limits."
"And very soon you
will get tired."
"When I do I will
tell you. But I may also get frightened. I suppose you know there are risks, I
mean apart from the risk of life."
"As for
instance," she said.
"For instance,
being captured, tried, and sentenced to what they call `the galleys,' in
Ceuta."
"And all this from
that love for . . ."
"Not for
Legitimacy," I interrupted the inquiry lightly. "But what's the use
asking such questions? It's like asking the veiled figure of fate. It doesn't
know its own mind nor its own heart. It has no heart. But what if I were to
start asking you---who have a heart and are not veiled to my sight?" She
dropped her charming adolescent head, so firm in modelling, so gentle in
expression. Her uncovered neck was round like the shaft of a column. She wore
the same wrapper of thick blue silk. At that time she seemed to live either in
her riding habit or in that wrapper folded tightly round her and open low to a
point in front. Because of the absence of all trimming round the neck and from
the deep view of her bare arms in the wide sleeve this garment seemed to be put
directly on her skin and gave one the impression of one's nearness to her body
which would have been troubling but for the perfect unconsciousness of her
manner. That day she carried no barbarous arrow in her hair. It was parted on
one side, brushed back severely, and tied with a black ribbon, without any
bronze mist about her forehead or temple. This smoothness added to the many
varieties of her expression also that of child-like innocence.
Great progress in our
intimacy brought about unconsciously by our enthusiastic interest in the matter
of our discourse and, in the moments of silence, by the sympathetic current of
our thoughts. And this rapidly growing. familiarity (truly, she had a terrible
gift for it) had all the varieties of earnestness: serious, excited, ardent,
and even gay. She laughed in contralto; but her laugh was never very long; and
when it had ceased, the silence of the room with the light dying in all its
many windows seemed to he about me warmed by its vibration.
As I was preparing to
take my leave after a longish pause into which we had fallen as into a vague
dream, she came out of it with a start and a quiet sigh. She said, "I had
forgotten myself." I took her hand and was raising it naturally, without
premeditation, when I felt suddenly the arm to which it belonged become
insensible, passive, like a stuffed limb, and the whole woman go inanimate all
over! Brusquely I dropped the hand before it reached my lips; and it was so
lifeless that it fell heavily on to the divan.
I remained standing
before her. She raised to me not her eyes but her whole face,
inquisitively---perhaps in appeal.
"No! this isn't
good enough for me," I said.
The last of the light
gleamed in her long enigmatic eyes as if they were precious enamel in that
shadowy head which in its immobility suggested a creation of a distant past:
immortal art, not transient life. Her voice had a profound quietness. She
excused herself.
"It's only
habit---or instinct---or what you like. I have had to practise that in
self-defence lest I should be tempted sometimes to cut the arm off."
I remembered the way
she had abandoned this very arm and hand to the white-haired ruffian. It
rendered me gloomy and idiotically obstinate.
"Very ingenious.
But this sort of thing is of no use to me," I declared.
"Make it up,"
suggested her mysterious voice, while her shadowy figure remained unmoved,
indifferent amongst the cushions.
I didn't stir either. I
refused in the same low tone.
"No. Not before
you give it to me yourself, some day."
"Yes---some
day," she repeated in a breath in which there was no irony but rather
hesitation, reluctance--- what did I know?
I walked away from the
house in a curious state of gloomy satisfaction with myself.
And this is the last
extract. A month afterwards.
---This afternoon going
up to the Villa I was for the first time accompanied in my way by some
misgivings.
To-morrow I sail.
First trip and
therefore in the nature of a trial trip and I can't overcome a certain gnawing
emotion, for it is a trip that mustn't fail. In that sort of enterprise there
is no room for mistakes. Of all the individuals engaged in it will every one be
intelligent enough, faithful enough, bold enough? Looking upon them as a whole
it seems impossible; but as each has got only a limited part to play they may
be found sufficient each for his particular trust. And will they be all
punctual, I wonder? An enterprise that hangs on the punctuality of many people,
no matter how well disposed and even heroic, hangs on a thread. This I have
perceived to be also the greatest of Dominic's concerns. He, too, wonders. And
when he breathes his doubts the smile lurking under the dark curl of his
moustaches is not reassuring.
But there is also
something exciting in such speculations and the road to the Villa seemed to me
shorter than ever before.
Let in by the silent,
ever-active, dark lady's maid, who is always on the spot and always on the way
somewhere else, opening the door with one hand, while she passes on, turning on
one for a moment her quick, black eyes, which just miss being lustrous, as if
some one had breathed on them lightly.
On entering the long
room I perceive Mills established in an armchair which he had dragged in front
of the divan. I do the same to another and there we sit side by side facing R.,
tenderly amiable yet somehow distant among her cushions, with an immemorial
seriousness in her long, shaded eyes and her fugitive smile hovering about but
never settling on her lips. Mills, who is just back from over the frontier,
must have been asking R. whether she had been worried again by her devoted
friend with the white hair. At least I concluded so because I found them
talking of the heart-broken Azzolati. And after having answered their greetings
I sit and listen to Rita addressing Mills earnestly.
"No, I assure you
Azzolati had done nothing to me. I knew him. He was a frequent visitor at the
Pavilion, though I, personally, never talked with him very much in Henry Allègre's
lifetime. Other men were more interesting, and he himself was rather reserved
in his manner to me. He was an international politician and financier--- a
nobody. He, like many others, was admitted only to feed and amuse Henry Allègre's
scorn of the world, which was insatiable---I tell you."
"Yes," said
Mills. "I can imagine."
"But I know. Often
when we were alone Henry Allègre used to pour it into my ears. If ever anybody
saw mankind stripped of its clothes as the child sees the king in the German
fairy tale, it's I! Into my ears! A child's! Too young to die of fright.
Certainly not old enough to understand--- or even to believe. But then his arm
was about me. I used to laugh, sometimes. Laugh! At this destruction--- at
these ruins!"
"Yes," said
Mills, very steady before her fire. "But you have at your service the
everlasting charm of life; you are a part of the indestructible."
"Am I? . . . But
there is no arm about me now. The laugh! Where is my laugh? Give me back my
laugh. . . ."
And she laughed a
little on a low note. I don't know about Mills, but the subdued shadowy
vibration of it echoed in my breast which felt empty for a moment and like a
large space that makes one giddy.
"The laugh is gone
out of my heart, which at any rate used to feel protected. That feeling's gone,
too. And I myself will have to die some day."
"Certainly,"
said Mills in an unaltered voice. "As to this body you . . ."
"Oh, yes! Thanks.
It's a very poor jest. Change from body to body as travellers used to change
horses at post houses. I've heard of this before. . . . "
"I've no doubt you
have," Mills put on a submissive air. "But are we to hear any more
about Azzolati?"
"You shall.
Listen. I had heard that he was invited to shoot at Rambouillet---a quiet
party, not one of these great shoots. I hear a lot of things. I wanted to have
a certain information, also certain hints conveyed to a diplomatic personage
who was to be there, too. A personage that would never let me get in touch with
him though I had tried many times."
"Incredible!"
mocked Mills solemnly.
"The personage
mistrusts his own susceptibility. Born cautious," explained Doña Rita
crisply with the slightest possible quiver of her lips. "Suddenly I had
the inspiration to make use of Azzolati, who had been reminding me by a
constant stream of messages that he was an old friend. I never took any notice
of those pathetic appeals before. But in this emergency I sat down and wrote a
note asking him to come and dine with me in my hotel. I suppose you know I
don't live in the Pavilion. I can't bear the Pavilion now. When I have to go
there I begin to feel after an hour or so that it is haunted. I seem to catch
sight of somebody I know behind columns, passing through doorways, vanishing
here and there. I hear light footsteps behind closed doors. . . . My own!"
Her eyes, her
half-parted lips, remained fixed till Mills suggested softly, "Yes, but
Azzolati."
Her rigidity vanished
like a flake of snow in the sunshine. "Oh! Azzolati. It was a most solemn
affair. It had occurred to me to make a very elaborate toilet. It was most
successful. Azzolati looked positively scared for a moment as though he had got
into the wrong suite of rooms. He had never before seen me en toilette, you
understand. In the old days once out of my riding habit I would never dress. I
draped myself, you remember, Monsieur Mills. To go about like that suited my
indolence, my longing to feel free in my body, as at that time when I used to
herd goats. . . . But never mind. My aim was to impress Azzolati. I wanted to
talk to him seriously."
There was something
whimsical in the quick beat of her eyelids and in the subtle quiver of her
lips. "And behold! the same notion had occurred to Azzolati. Imagine that
for this tête-à-tête dinner the creature had got himself up as if for a
reception at court. He displayed a brochette of all sorts of decorations on the
lapel of his frac and had a broad ribbon of some order across his shirt front.
An orange ribbon. Bavarian, I should say. Great Roman Catholic, Azzolati. It
was always his ambition to be the banker of all the Bourbons in the world. The
last remnants of his hair were dyed jet black and the ends of his moustache
were like knitting needles. He was disposed to be as soft as wax in my hands.
Unfortunately I had had some irritating interviews during the day. I was
keeping down sudden impulses to smash a glass, throw a plate on the floor, do
something violent to relieve my feelings. His submissive attitude made me still
more nervous, He was ready to do anything in the world for me providing that I
would promise him that he would never find my door shut against him as long as
he lived. You understand the impudence of it, don't you? And his tone was
positively abject, too. I snapped back at him that I had no door, that I was a
nomad. He bowed ironically till his nose nearly touched his plate but begged me
to remember that to his personal knowledge I had four houses of my own about
the world. And you know this made me feet a homeless outcast more than
ever---like a little dog lost in the street---not knowing where to go. I was
ready to cry and there the creature sat in front of me with an imbecile smile
as much as to say `here is a poser for you. . . .' I gnashed my teeth at him.
Quietly, you know . . . I suppose you two think that I am stupid."
She paused as if
expecting an answer but we made no sound and she continued with a remark.
"I have days like
that. Often one must listen to false protestations, empty words, strings of
lies all day long, so that in the evening one is not fit for anything, not even
for truth if it comes in one's way. That idiot treated me to a piece of brazen
sincerity which I couldn't stand. First of all he began to take me into his
confidence; he boasted of his great affairs, then started groaning about his
overstrained life which left him no time for the amenities of existence, for
beauty, or sentiment, or any sort of ease of heart. His heart! He wanted me to
sympathize with his sorrows. Of course I ought to have listened. One must pay
for service. Only I was nervous and tired. He bored me. I told him at last that
I was surprised that a man of such immense wealth should still keep on going
like this reaching for more and more. I suppose he must have been sipping a
good deal of wine while we talked and all at once he let out an atrocity which
was too much for me. He had been moaning and sentimentalizing but then suddenly
he showed me his fangs. `No,' he cries, `you can't imagine what a satisfaction
it is to feel all that penniless, beggarly lot of the dear, honest, meritorious
poor wriggling and slobbering under one's boots.' You may tell me that he is a
contemptible animal anyhow, but you should have heard the tone! I felt my bare
arms go cold like ice. A moment before I had been hot and faint with sheer
boredom. I jumped up from the table, rang for Rose, and told her to bring me my
fur cloak. He remained in his chair leering at me curiously. When I had the fur
on my shoulders and the girl had gone out of the room I gave him the surprise
of his life. `Take yourself off instantly,' I said. `Go trample on the poor if
you like but never dare speak to me again.' At this he leaned his head on his
arm and sat so long at the table shading his eyes with his hand that I had to
ask, calmly---you know---whether he wanted me to have him turned out into the
corridor. He fetched an enormous sigh. `I have only tried to be honest with
you, Rita.' But by the time he got to the door he had regained some of his
impudence. `You know how to trample on a poor fellow, too,' he said. `But I
don't mind being made to wriggle under your pretty shoes, Rita. I forgive you.
I thought you were free from all vulgar sentimentalism and that you had a more
independent mind. I was mistaken in you, that's all.' With that he pretends to
dash a tear from his eye---crocodile!---and goes out, leaving me in my fur by
the blazing fire, my teeth going like castanets. . . . Did you ever hear of
anything so stupid as this affair?" she concluded in a tone of extreme
candour and a profound unreadable stare that went far beyond us both. And the
stillness of her lips was so perfect directly she ceased speaking that I
wondered whether all this had come through them or only had formed itself in my
mind.
Presently she continued
as if speaking for herself only.
"It's like taking
the lids off boxes and seeing ugly toads staring at you. In everyone. Everyone.
That's what it is having to do with men more than mere---Good-morning--- Good
evening. And if you try to avoid meddling with their lids, some of them will
take them off themselves. And they don't even know, they don't even suspect
what they are showing you. Certain confidences ---they don't see it---are the
bitterest kind of insult. I suppose Azzolati imagines himself a noble beast of
prey. Just as some others imagine themselves to be most delicate, noble, and
refined gentlemen. And as likely as not they would trade on a woman's
troubles---and in the end make nothing of that either. Idiots!"
The utter absence of
all anger in this spoken meditation gave it a character of touching simplicity.
And as if it had been truly only a meditation we conducted ourselves as though
we had not heard it. Mills began to speak of his experiences during his visit
to the army of the Legitimist King. And I discovered in his speeches that this
man of books could be graphic and picturesque. His admiration for the devotion
and bravery of the army was combined with the greatest distaste for what he had
seen of the way its great qualities were misused. In the conduct of this great
enterprise he had seen a deplorable levity of outlook, a fatal lack of
decision, an absence of any reasoned plan.
He shook his head.
"I feel that you
of all people, Doña Rita, ought to be told the truth. I don't know exactly what
you have at stake."
She was rosy like some
impassive statue in a desert in the flush of the dawn.
"Not my
heart," she said quietly. "You must believe that."
"I do. Perhaps it
would have been better if you . . ."
"No, Monsieur le
Philosophe. It would not have been better. Don't make that serious face at
me," she went on with tenderness in a playful note, as if tenderness had
been her inheritance of all time and playfulness the very fibre of her being.
"I suppose you think that a woman who has acted as I did and has not
staked her heart on it is . . . How do you know to what the heart responds as
it beats from day to day?"
"I wouldn't judge
you. What am I before the knowledge you were born to? You are as old as the
world."
She accepted this with
a smile. I who was innocently watching them was amazed to discover how much a
fleeting thing like that could hold of seduction without the help of any other
feature and with that unchanging glance.
"With me it is pun
d'onor. To my first independent friend."
"You were soon
parted," ventured Mills, while I sat still under a sense of oppression.
"Don't think for a
moment that I have been scared off," she said. "It is they who were
frightened. I suppose you heard a lot of Headquarters gossip?"
"Oh, yes,"
Mills said meaningly. "The fair and the dark are succeeding each other
like leaves blown in the wind dancing in and out. I suppose you have noticed
that leaves blown in the wind have a look of happiness."
"Yes," she
said, "that sort of leaf is dead. Then why shouldn't it look happy? And so
I suppose there is no uneasiness, no occasion for fears amongst the
`responsibles.' "
"Upon the whole
not. Now and then a leaf seems as if it would stick. There is for instance
Madame . . ."
"Oh, I don't want
to know, I understand it all, I am as old as the world."
"Yes," said
Mills thoughtfully, "you are not a leaf, you might have been a tornado
yourself."
"Upon my
word," she said, "there was a time that they thought I could carry
him off, away from them all ---beyond them all. Verily, I am not very proud of
their fears. There was nothing reckless there worthy of a great passion. There
was nothing sad there worthy of a great tenderness."
"And is this the
word of the Venetian riddle?" asked Mills, fixing her with his keen eyes.
"If it pleases you
to think so, Señor," she said indifferently. The movement of her eyes,
their veiled gleam became mischievous when she asked, "And Don Juan Blunt,
have you seen him over there?"
"I fancy he
avoided me. Moreover, he is always with his regiment at the outposts. He is a
most valorous captain. I heard some people describe him as foolhardy."
"Oh, he needn't
seek death," she said in an indefinable tone. "I mean as a refuge.
There will be nothing in his life great enough for that."
"You are angry.
You miss him, I believe, Doña Rita."
"Angry? No! Weary.
But of course it's very inconvenient. I can't very well ride out alone. A
solitary amazon swallowing the dust and the salt spray of the Corniche
promenade would attract too much attention. And then I don't mind you two knowing
that I am afraid of going out alone."
"Afraid?" we
both exclaimed together.
"You men are
extraordinary. Why do you want me to be courageous? Why shouldn't I be afraid?
Is it because there is no one in the world to care what would happen to
me?"
There was a deep-down
vibration in her tone for the first time. We had not a word to say. And she
added after a long silence:
"There is a very
good reason. There is a danger."
With wonderful insight
Mills affirmed at once:
"Something
ugly."
She nodded slightly
several times. Then Mills said with conviction:
"Ah! Then it can't
be anything in yourself. And if so . . ."
I was moved to
extravagant advice.
"You should come
out with me to sea then. There may be some danger there but there's nothing ugly
to fear."
She gave me a startled
glance quite unusual with her, more than wonderful to me; and suddenly as
though she had seen me for the first time she exclaimed in a tone of
compunction:
"Oh! And there is
this one, too! Why! Oh, why should he run his head into danger for those things
that will all crumble into dust before long?"
I said: "You won't
crumble into dust."
And Mills claimed in:
"That young
enthusiast will always have his sea."
We were all standing up
now. She kept her eyes on me, and repeated with a sort of whimsical
enviousness:
"The sea! The
violet sea---and he is longing to rejoin it! . . . At night! Under the stars! .
. . A lovers' meeting," she went on, thrilling me from head to foot with
those two words, accompanied by a wistful smile pointed by a suspicion of
mockery. She turned away. "And you, Monsieur Mills?" she asked.
"I am going back
to my books," he declared with a very serious face. "My adventure is
over."
"Each one to his
love," she bantered us gently. "Didn't I love books, too, at one
time! They seemed to contain all wisdom and hold a magic power, too. Tell me,
Monsieur Mills, have you found amongst them in some black-letter volume the
power of foretelling a poor mortal's destiny, the power to look into the future?
Anybody's future . . ." Mills shook his head. . . . What, not even
mine?" she coaxed as if she really believed in a magic power to be found
in books.
Mills shook his head
again. "No, I have not the power," he said. "I am no more a
great magician, than you are a poor mortal. You have your ancient spells. You
are as old as the world. Of us two it's you that are more fit to foretell the
future of the poor mortals on whom you happen to cast your eyes."
At these words she cast
her eyes down and in the moment of deep silence I watched the slight rising and
falling of her breast. Then Mills pronounced distinctly:
"Good-bye, old
Enchantress."
They shook hands
cordially. "Good-bye, poor Magician," she said.
Mills made as if to
speak but seemed to think better of it. Doña Rita returned my distant bow with
a slight, charmingly ceremonious inclination of her body.
"Bon voyage and a
happy return," she said formally.
I was following Mills
through the door when I heard her voice behind us raised in recall:
"Oh, a moment . .
. I forgot . . ."
I turned round. The
call was for me, and I walked slowly back wondering what she could have
forgotten. She waited in the middle of the room with lowered head, with a mute
gleam in her deep blue eyes. When I was near enough she extended to me without
a word her bare white arm and suddenly pressed the back of her hand against my
lips. I was too startled to seize it with rapture. It detached itself from my
lips and fell slowly by her side. We had made it up and there was nothing to
say. She turned away to the window and I hurried out of the room.
It was on our return
from that first trip that I took Dominic up to the Villa to be presented to Doña
Rita. If she wanted to look on the embodiment of fidelity, resource, and
courage, she could behold it all in that man. Apparently she was not
disappointed. Neither was Dominic disappointed. During the half-hour's
interview they got into touch with each other in a wonderful way as if they had
some common and secret standpoint in life. Maybe it was their common
lawlessness, and their knowledge of things as old as the world. Her seduction,
his recklessness, were both simple, masterful and, in a sense, worthy of each other.
Dominic was, I won't
say awed by this interview. No woman could awe Dominic. But he was, as it were,
rendered thoughtful by it, like a man who had not so much an experience as a
sort of revelation vouchsafed to film. Later, at sea, he used to refer to La Señora
in a particular tone and I knew that henceforth his devotion was not for me
alone. And I understood the inevitability of it extremely well. As to Doña Rita
she, after Dominic left the room, had turned to me with animation and said:
"But he is perfect, this man." Afterwards she often asked after him
and used to refer to him in conversation. More than once she said to me:
"One would like to put the care of one's personal safety into the hands of
that man. He looks as if he simply couldn't fail one." I admitted that
this was very true, especially at sea. Dominic couldn't fail. But at the same
time I rather chaffed Rita on her preoccupation as to personal safety that so
often cropped up in her talk.
"One would think
you were a crowned head in a revolutionary world," I used to tell her.
"That would be
different. One would be standing then for something, either worth or not worth
dying for. One could even run away then and be done with it. But I can't run
away unless I got out of my skin and left that behind. Don't you understand?
You are very stupid . . ." But she had the grace to add, "On
purpose."
I don't know about the
on purpose. I am not certain about the stupidity. Her words bewildered one
often and bewilderment is a sort of stupidity. I remedied it by simply
disregarding the sense of what she said. The sound was there and also her
poignant heart-gripping presence giving occupation enough to one's faculties.
In the power of those things over one there was mystery enough. It was more
absorbing than the mere obscurity of her speeches. But I daresay she couldn't
understand that.
Hence, at times, the
amusing outbreaks of temper in word and gesture that only strengthened the
natural, the invincible force of the spell. Sometimes the brass bowl would get
upset or the cigarette box would fly up, dropping a shower of cigarettes on the
floor. We would pick them up, re-establish everything, and fall into a long
silence, so close that the sound of the first word would come with all the pain
of a separation.
It was at that time,
too, that she suggested I should take up my quarters in her house in the street
of the Consuls. There were certain advantages in that move. In my present abode
my sudden absences might have been in the long run subject to comment. On the
other hand, the house in the street of Consuls was a known outpost of
Legitimacy. But then it was covered by the occult influence of her who was
referred to in confidential talks, secret communications, and discreet whispers
of Royalist salons as: "Madame de Lastaola."
That was the name which
the heiress of Henry Allègre had decided to adopt when, according to her own
expression, she had found herself precipitated at a moment's notice into the
crowd of mankind. It is strange how the death of Henry Allègre, which certainly
the poor man had not planned, acquired in my view the character of a heartless
desertion. It gave one a glimpse of amazing egoism in a sentiment to which one
could hardly give a name, a mysterious appropriation of one human being by
another as if in defiance of unexpressed things and for an unheard-of
satisfaction of an inconceivable pride. If he had hated her he could not have
flung that enormous fortune more brutally at her head. And his unrepentant
death seemed to lift for a moment the curtain on something lofty and sinister
like an Olympian's caprice.
Doña Rita said to me
once with humorous resignation: "You know, it appears that one must have a
name. That's what Henry Allègre's man of business told me. He was quite impatient
with me about it. But my name, amigo, Henry Allègre had taken from me like all
the rest of what I had been once. All that is buried with him in his grave. It
wouldn't have been true. That is how I felt about it. So I took that one."
She whispered to herself: "Lastaola," not as if to test the sound but
as if in a dream.
To this day I am not
quite certain whether it was the name of any human habitation, a lonely caserio
with a half-effaced carving of a coat of arms over its door, or of some hamlet
at the dead end of a ravine with a stony slope at the back. It might have been
a hill for all I know or perhaps a stream. A wood, or perhaps a combination of
all these: just a bit of the earth's surface. Once I asked her where exactly it
was situated and she answered, waving her hand cavalierly at the dead wall of
the room: "Oh, over there." I thought that this was all that I was
going to hear but she added moodily, "I used to take my goats there, a
dozen or so of them, for the day. From after my uncle had said his Mass till
the ringing of the evening bell."
I saw suddenly the
lonely spot, sketched for me some time ago by a few words from Mr. Blunt,
populated by the agile, bearded beasts with cynical heads, and a little misty
figure dark in the sunlight with a halo of dishevelled rust-coloured hair about
its head.
The epithet of
rust-coloured comes from her. It was really tawny. Once or twice in my hearing
she had referred to "my rust-coloured hair" with laughing vexation.
Even then it was unruly, abhorring the restraints of civilization, and often in
the heat of a dispute getting into the eyes of Madame de Lastaola, the
possessor of coveted art treasures, the heiress of Henry Allègre. She proceeded
in a reminiscent mood, with a faint flash of gaiety all over her face, except
her dark blue eyes that moved so seldom out of their fixed scrutiny of things
invisible to other human beings.
"The goats were
very good. We clambered amongst the stones together. They beat me at that game.
I used to catch my hair in the bushes."
"Your
rust-coloured hair," I whispered.
"Yes, it was
always this colour. And I used to leave bits of my frock on thorns here and
there. It was pretty thin, I can tell you. There wasn't much at that time
between my skin and the blue of the sky. My legs were as sunburnt as my face;
but really I didn't tan very much. I had plenty of freckles though. There were
no looking-glasses in the Presbytery but uncle had a piece not bigger than my
two hands for his shaving. One Sunday I crept into his room and had a peep at
myself. And wasn't I startled to see my own eyes looking at me! But it was
fascinating, too. I was about eleven years old then, and I was very friendly
with the goats, and I was as shrill as a cicada and as slender as a match.
Heavens! When I overhear myself speaking sometimes, or look at my limbs, it
doesn't seem to be possible. And yet it is the same one. I do remember every
single goat. They were very clever. Goats are no trouble really; they don't
scatter much. Mine never did even if I had to hide myself out of their sight
for ever so long."
It was but natural to
ask her why she wanted to hide, and she uttered vaguely what was rather a
comment on my question:
"It was like
fate." But I chose to take it otherwise, teasingly, because we were often
like a pair of children.
"Oh, really,"
I said, "you talk like a pagan. What could you know of fate at that time?
What was it like? Did it come down from Heaven?"
"Don't be stupid.
It used to come along a cart-track that was there and it looked like a boy.
Wasn't he a little devil though. You understand, I couldn't know that. He was a
wealthy cousin of mine. Round there we are all related, all cousins---as in
Brittany. He wasn't much bigger than myself but he was older, just a boy in
blue breeches and with good shoes on his feet, which of course interested and
impressed me. He yelled to me from below, I screamed to him from above, he came
up and sat down near me on a stone, never said a word, let me look at him for
half an hour before he condescended to ask me who I was. And the airs he gave
himself! He quite intimidated me sitting there perfectly dumb. I remember
trying to hide my bare feet under the edge of my skirt as I sat below him on the
ground.
"C'est comique,
eh!" she interrupted herself to comment in a melancholy tone. I looked at
her sympathetically and she went on:
"He was the only
son from a rich farmhouse two miles down the slope. In winter they used to send
him to school at Tolosa. He had an enormous opinion of himself; he was going to
keep a shop in a town by and by and he was about the most dissatisfied creature
I have ever seen. He had an unhappy mouth and unhappy eyes and he was always
wretched about something: about the treatment he received, about being kept in
the country and chained to work. He was moaning and complaining and threatening
all the world, including his father and mother. He used to curse God, yes, that
boy, sitting there on a piece of rock like a wretched little Prometheus with a
sparrow pecking at his miserable little liver. And the grand scenery of
mountains all round, ha, ha, ha!"
She laughed in
contralto: a penetrating sound with something generous in it; not infectious,
but in others provoking a smile.
"Of course I, poor
little animal, I didn't know what to make of it, and I was even a little
frightened. But at first because of his miserable eyes I was sorry for him,
almost as much as if he had been a sick goat. But, frightened or sorry, I don't
know how it is, I always wanted to laugh at him, too, I mean from the very
first day when he let me admire him for half an hour. Yes, even then I had to
put my hand over my mouth more than once for the sake of good manners, you
understand. And yet, you know, I was never a laughing child.
"One day he came
up and sat down very dignified a little bit away from me and told me he had
been thrashed for wandering in the hills.
" `To be with me?'
I asked. And he said: `To be with you! No. My people don't know what I do.' I
can't tell why, but I was annoyed. So instead of raising a clamour of pity over
him, which I suppose he expected me to do, I asked him if the thrashing hurt
very much. He got up, he had a switch in his hand, and walked up to me, saying,
`I will soon show you.' I went stiff with fright; but instead of slashing at me
he dropped down by my side and kissed me on the cheek. Then he did it again,
and by that time I was gone dead all over and he could have done what he liked
with the corpse but he left off suddenly and then I came to life again and I
bolted away. Not very far. I couldn't leave the goats altogether. He chased me
round and about the rocks, but of course I was too quick for him in his nice
town boots. When he got tired of that game he started throwing stones. After
that he made my life very lively for me. Sometimes he used to come on me
unawares and then I had to sit still and listen to his miserable ravings,
because he would catch me round the waist and hold me very tight. And yet I
often felt inclined to laugh. But if I caught sight of him at a distance and
tried to dodge out of the way he would start stoning me into a shelter I knew
of and then sit outside with a heap of stones at hand so that I daren't show
the end of my nose for hours. He would sit there and rave and abuse me till I
would burst into a crazy laugh in my hole; and then I could see him through the
leaves rolling on the ground and biting his fists with rage. Didn't he hate me!
At the same time I was often terrified. I am convinced now that if I had
started crying he would have rushed in and perhaps strangled me there. Then as
the sun was about to set he would make me swear that I would marry him when I
was grown up. `Swear, you little wretched beggar,' he would yell to me. And I
would swear. I was hungry, and I didn't want to be made black and blue all over
with stones. Oh, I swore ever so many times to be his wife. Thirty times a
month for two months. I couldn't help myself. It was no use complaining to my
sister Therese. When I showed her my bruises and tried to tell her a little
about my trouble she was quite scandalized. She called me a sinful girl, a
shameless creature. I assure you it puzzled my head so that, between Therese my
sister and José the boy, I lived in a state of idiocy almost. But luckily at
the end of the two months they sent him away from home for good. Curious story
to happen to a goatherd living all her days out under God's eye, as my uncle
the Cura might have said. My sister Therese was keeping house in the
Presbytery. She's a terrible person."
"I have heard of
your sister Therese," I said.
"Oh, you have! Of
my big sister Therese, six, ten years older than myself perhaps? She just comes
a little above my shoulder, but then I was always a long thing. I never knew my
mother. I don't even know how she looked. There are no paintings or photographs
in our farmhouses amongst the hills. I haven't even heard her described to me.
I believe I was never good enough to be told these things. Therese decided that
I was a lump of wickedness, and now she believes that I will lose my soul
altogether unless I take some steps to save it. Well, I have no particular
taste that way. I suppose it is annoying to have a sister going fast to eternal
perdition, but there are compensations. The funniest thing is that it's
Therese, I believe, who managed to keep me out of the Presbytery when I went
out of my way to look in on them on my return from my visit to the Quartel Real
last year. I couldn't have stayed much more than half an hour with them anyway,
but still I would have liked to get over the old doorstep. I am certain that
Therese persuaded my uncle to go out and meet me at the bottom of the hill. I
saw the old man a long way off and I understood how it was. I dismounted at once
and met him on foot. We had half an hour together walking up and down the road.
He is a peasant priest, he didn't know how to treat me. And of course I was
uncomfortable, too. There wasn't a single goat about to keep me in countenance.
I ought to have embraced him. I was always fond of the stern, simple old man.
But he drew himself up when I approached him and actually took off his hat to
me. So simple as that! I bowed my head and asked for his blessing. And he said
`I would never refuse a blessing to a good Legitimist.' So stern as that! And
when I think that I was perhaps the only girl of the family or in the whole
world that he ever in his priest's life patted on the head! When I think of
that I . . . I believe at that moment I was as wretched as he was himself. I
handed him an envelope with a big red seal which quite startled him. I had
asked the Marquis de Villarel to give me a few words for him, because my uncle
has a great influence in his district; and the Marquis penned with his own hand
some compliments and an inquiry about the spirit of the population. My uncle
read the letter, looked up at me with an air of mournful awe, and begged me to
tell his excellency that the people were all for God, their lawful King and
their old privileges. I said to him then, after he had asked me about the
health of His Majesty in an awfully gloomy tone---I said then: `There is only
one thing that remains for me to do, uncle, and that is to give you two pounds
of the very best snuff I have brought here for you.' What else could I have got
for the poor old man? I had no trunks with me. I had to leave behind a spare
pair of shoes in the hotel to make room in my little bag for that snuff. And
fancy! That old priest absolutely pushed the parcel away. I could have thrown
it at his head; but I thought suddenly of that hard, prayerful life, knowing
nothing of any ease or pleasure in the world, absolutely nothing but a pinch of
snuff now and then. I remembered how wretched be used to be when he lacked a
copper or two to get some snuff with. My face was hot with indignation, but
before I could fly out at him I remembered how simple he was. So I said with
great dignity that as the present came from the King and as he wouldn't receive
it from my hand there was nothing else for me to do but to throw it into the
brook; and I made as if I were going to do it, too. He shouted: `Stay, unhappy
girl! Is it really from His Majesty, whom God preserve?' I said contemptuously,
`Of course.' He looked at me with great pity in his eyes, sighed deeply, and
took the little tin from my hand. I suppose he imagined me in my abandoned way
wheedling the necessary cash out of the King for the purchase of that snuff.
You can't imagine how simple he is. Nothing was easier than to deceive him; but
don't imagine I deceived him from the vainglory of a mere sinner. I lied to the
dear man, simply because I couldn't bear the idea of him being deprived of the
only gratification his big, ascetic, gaunt body ever knew on earth. As I
mounted my mule to go away he murmured coldly: `God guard you, Señora!' Señora!
What sternness! We were off a little way already when his heart softened and he
shouted after me in a terrible voice: `The road to Heaven is repentance!' And
then, after a silence, again the great shout `Repentance!' thundered after me,
Was that sternness or simplicity, I wonder? Or a mere unmeaning superstition, a
mechanical thing? If there lives anybody completely honest in this world,
surely it must be my uncle. And yet---who knows?
"Would you guess
what was the next thing I did? Directly I got over the frontier I wrote from
Bayonne asking the old man to send me out my sister here. I said it was for the
service of the King. You see, I had thought suddenly of that house of mine in
which you once spent the night talking with Mr. Mills and Don Juan Blunt. I
thought it would do extremely well for Carlist officers coming this way on
leave or on a mission. In hotels they might have been molested, but I knew that
I could get protection for my house. Just a word from the ministry in Paris to
the Prefect. But I wanted a woman to manage it for me. And where was I to find
a trustworthy woman? How was I to know one when I saw her? I don't know how to
talk to women. Of course my Rose would have done for me that or anything else;
but what could I have done myself without her? She has looked after me from the
first. It was Henry Allègre who got her for me eight years ago. I don't know
whether he meant it for a kindness but she's the only human being on whom I can
lean. She knows . . . What doesn't she know about me! She has never failed to
do the right thing for me unasked. I couldn't part with her. And I couldn't
think of anybody else but my sister.
"After all it was
somebody belonging to me. But it seemed the wildest idea. Yet she came at once.
Of course I took care to send her some money. She likes money. As to my uncle
there is nothing that he wouldn't have given up for the service of the King.
Rose went to meet her at the railway station. She told me afterwards that there
had been no need for me to be anxious about her recognizing Mademoiselle
Therese. There was nobody else in the train that could be mistaken for her. I
should think not! She had made for herself a dress of some brown stuff like a
nun's habit and had a crooked stick and carried all her belongings tied up in a
handkerchief. She looked like a pilgrim to a saint's shrine, Rose took her to
the house. She asked when she saw it: `And does this big place really belong to
our Rita?' My maid of course said that it was mine. `And how long did our Rita
live here?'---`Madame has never seen it unless perhaps the outside, as far as I
know. I believe Mr. Allègre lived here for some time when he was a young
man.'---`The sinner that's dead?'---`Just so,' says Rose. You know nothing ever
startles Rose. `Well, his sins are gone with him,' said my sister, and began to
make herself at home.
"Rose was going to
stop with her for a week but on the third day she was back with me with the
remark that Mlle. Therese knew her way about very well already and preferred to
be left to herself. Some little time afterwards I went to see that sister of
mine. The first thing she said to me, `I wouldn't have recognized you, Rita,'
and I said, `What a funny dress you have, Therese, more fit for the portress of
a convent than for this house.'--- `Yes,' she said, `and unless you give this
house to me, Rita, I will go back to our country. I will have nothing to do
with your life, Rita. Your life is no secret for me.'
"I was going from
room to room and Therese was following me. `I don't know that my life is a
secret to anybody,' I said to her, `but how do you know anything about it?' And
then she told me that it was through a cousin of ours, that horrid wretch of a
boy, you know. He had finished his schooling and was a clerk in a Spanish
commercial house of some kind, in Paris, and apparently had made it his
business to write home whatever he could hear about me or ferret out from those
relations of mine with whom I lived as a girl. I got suddenly very furious. I
raged up and down the room (we were alone upstairs), and Therese scuttled away
from me as far as the door. I heard her say to herself, `It's the evil spirit
in her that makes her like this.' She was absolutely convinced of that. She
made the sign of the cross in the air to protect herself. I was quite
astounded. And then I really couldn't help myself. I burst into a laugh. I
laughed and laughed; I really couldn't stop till Therese ran away. I went
downstairs still laughing and found her in the hall with her face to the wall
and her fingers in her ears kneeling in a corner. I had to pull her out by the
shoulders from there. I don't think she was frightened; she was only shocked.
But I don't suppose her heart is desperately bad, because when I dropped into a
chair feeling very tired she came and knelt in front of me and put her arms
round my waist and entreated me to cast off from me my evil ways with the help
of saints and priests. Quite a little programme for a reformed sinner. I got
away at last. I left her sunk on her heels before the empty chair looking after
me. `I pray for you every night and morning, Rita,' she said.---`Oh, yes. I
know you are a good sister,' I said to her. I was letting myself out when she
called after me, `And what about this house, Rita? ' I said to her, `Oh, you
may keep it till the day I reform and enter a convent.' The last I saw of her
she was still on her knees looking after me with her mouth open. I have seen
her since several times, but our intercourse is, at any rate on her side, as of
a frozen nun with some great lady. But I believe she really knows how to make
men comfortable. Upon my word I think she likes to look after men. They don't
seem to be such great sinners as women are. I think you could do worse than take
up your quarters at number 10. She will no doubt develop a saintly sort of
affection for you, too."
I don't know that the
prospect of becoming a favourite of Doña Rita's peasant sister was very
fascinating to me. If I went to live very willingly at No. 10 it was because
everything connected with Doña Rita had for me a peculiar fascination, She had
only passed through the house once as far as l knew; but it was enough. She was
one of those beings that leave a trace. I am not unreasonable--- I mean for those
that knew her. That is, I suppose, because she was so unforgettable. Let us
remember the tragedy of Azzolati the ruthless, the ridiculous financier with a
criminal soul (or shall we say heart) and facile tears. No wonder, then, that
for me, who may flatter myself without undue vanity with being much finer than
that grotesque international intriguer, the mere knowledge that Doña Rita had
passed through the very rooms in which I was going to live between the
strenuous times of the sea-expeditions, was enough to fill my inner being with
a great content. Her glance, her darkly brilliant blue glance, had run over the
walls of that room which most likely would be mine to slumber in. Behind me,
somewhere near the door, Therese, the peasant sister, said in a funnily
compassionate tone and in an amazingly landlady-of-a-boarding-house spirit of
false persuasiveness:
"You will be very
comfortable here, Señor. It is so peaceful here in the street. Sometimes one
may think oneself in a village. It's only a hundred and twenty-five francs for
the friends of the King. And I shall take such good care of you that your very
heart will be able to rest."
Doña Rita was curious
to know how I got on with her peasant sister and all I could say in, return for
that inquiry was that the peasant sister was in her own way amiable. At this
she clicked her tongue amusingly and repeated a remark she had made before:
"She likes young men. The younger the better." The mere thought of
those two women being sisters aroused one's wonder. Physically they were
altogether of different design. It was also the difference between living
tissue of glowing loveliness with a divine breath, and a hard hollow figure of
baked clay.
Indeed Therese did
somehow resemble an achievement, wonderful enough in its way, in unglazed
earthenware. The only gleam perhaps that one could find on her was that of her
teeth, which one used to get between her dull lips unexpectedly, startlingly,
and a little inexplicably, because it was never associated with a smile. She
smiled with compressed mouth. It was indeed difficult to conceive of those two
birds coming from the same nest. And yet . . . Contrary to what generally
happens, it was when one saw those two women together that one lost all belief
in the possibility of their relationship near or far. It extended even to their
common humanity. One, as it were, doubted it. If one of the two was
representative, then the other was either something more or less than human.
One wondered whether these two women belonged to the same scheme of creation.
One was secretly amazed to see them standing together, speaking to each other,
having words in common, understanding each other. And yet! . . . Our
psychological sense is the crudest of all; we don't know, we don't perceive how
superficial we are. The simplest shades escape us, the secret of changes, of
relations. No, upon the whole, the only feature (and yet with enormous
differences) which Therese had in common with her sister, as I told Doña Rita,
was amiability.
"For, you know,
you are a most amiable person yourself," I went on. "It's one of your
characteristics, of course much more precious than in other people. You
transmute the commonest traits into gold of your own; but after all there are
no new names. You are amiable. You were most amiable to me when I first saw
you."
"Really. I was not
aware. Not specially. . . ."
"I had never the
presumption to think that it was special. Moreover, my head was in a whirl. I
was lost in astonishment first of all at what I had been listening to all
night. Your history, you know, a wonderful tale with a flavour of wine in it
and wreathed in clouds, with that amazing decapitated, mutilated dummy of a
woman lurking in a corner, and with Blunt's smile gleaming through a fog, the
fog in my eyes, from Mills' pipe, you know. I was feeling quite inanimate as to
body and frightfully stimulated as to mind all the time. I had never heard
anything like that talk about you before. Of course I wasn't sleepy, but still
I am not used to do altogether without sleep like Blunt . . ."
"Kept awake all
night listening to my story!" She marvelled.
"Yes. You don't
think I am complaining, do you? I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Blunt
in a ragged old jacket and a white tie and that incisive polite voice of his
seemed strange and weird. It seemed as though he were inventing it all rather
angrily. I had doubts as to your existence."
"Mr. Blunt is very
much interested in my story."
"Anybody would
be," I said. "I was. I didn't sleep a wink. I was expecting to see
you soon---and even then I had my doubts."
"As to my
existence?"
"It wasn't exactly
that, though of course I couldn't tell that you weren't a product of Captain
Blunt's sleeplessness. He seemed to dread exceedingly to be left alone and your
story might have been a device to detain us . . ."
"He hasn't enough
imagination for that," she said.
"It didn't occur
to me. But there was Mills, who apparently believed in your existence. I could
trust Mills. My doubts were about the propriety. I couldn't see any good reason
for being taken to see you. Strange that it should be my connection with the
sea which brought me here to the Villa."
"Unexpected
perhaps."
"No. I mean particularly
strange and significant."
"Why?"
"Because my
friends are in the habit of telling me (and each other) that the sea is my only
love. They were always chaffing me because they couldn't see or guess in my
life at any woman, open or secret. . ."
"And is that
really so?" she inquired negligently.
"Why, yes. I don't
mean to say that I am like an innocent shepherd in one of those interminable
stories of the eighteenth century. But I don't throw the word love about
indiscriminately. It may be all true about the sea; but some people would say
that they love sausages."
"You are
horrible."
"I am
surprised."
"I mean your
choice of words."
"And you have
never uttered a word yet that didn't change into a pearl as it dropped from
your lips. At least not before me."
She glanced down
deliberately and said, "This is better. But I don't see any of them on the
floor."
"It's you who are
horrible in the implications of your language. Don't see any on the floor!
Haven't I caught up and treasured them all in my heart? I am not the animal
from which sausages are made."
She looked at me
suavely and then with the sweetest possible smile breathed out the word:
"No."
And we both laughed
very loud. O! days of innocence! On this occasion we parted from each other on
a light-hearted note. But already I had acquired the conviction that there was
nothing more lovable in the world than that woman; nothing more life-giving,
inspiring, and illuminating than the emanation of her charm. I meant it
absolutely---not excepting the light of the sun.
From this there was
only one step further to take. The step into a conscious surrender; the open
perception that this charm, warming like a flame, was also all-revealing like a
great light; giving new depth to shades, new brilliance to colours, an amazing
vividness to all sensations and vitality to all thoughts: so that all that had
been lived before seemed to have been lived in a drab world and with a languid
pulse.
A great revelation
this. I don't mean to say it was soul-shaking. The soul was already a captive
before doubt, anguish, or dismay could touch its surrender and its exaltation.
But all the same the revelation turned many things into dust; and, amongst
others, the sense of the careless freedom of my life. If that life ever had any
purpose or any aim outside itself I would have said that it threw a shadow
across its path. But it hadn't. There had been no path. But there was a shadow,
the inseparable companion of all light. No illumination can sweep all mystery
out of the world. After the departed darkness the shadows remain, more
mysterious because as if more enduring; and one feels a dread of them from
which one was free before. What if they were to be victorious at the last?
They, or what perhaps lurks in them: fear, deception, desire, disillusion---all
silent at first before the song of triumphant love vibrating in the light. Yes.
Silent. Even desire itself! All silent. But not for long!
This was, I think,
before the third expedition. Yes, it must have been the third, for I remember
that it was boldly planned and that it was carried out without a hitch. The
tentative period was over; all our arrangements had been perfected. There was,
so to speak, always an unfailing smoke on the hill and an unfailing lantern on
the shore. Our friends, mostly bought for hard cash and therefore valuable, had
acquired confidence in us. This, they seemed to say, is no unfathomable roguery
of penniless adventurers. This is but the reckless enterprise of men of wealth
and sense and needn't be inquired into. The young caballero has got real gold
pieces in the belt he wears next his skin; and the man with the heavy
moustaches and unbelieving eyes is indeed very much of a man. They gave to
Dominic all their respect and to me a great show of deference; for I had all
the money, while they thought that Dominic had all the sense. That judgment was
not exactly correct. I had my share of judgment and audacity which surprises me
now that the years have chilled the blood without dimming the memory. I
remember going about the business with a light-hearted, clear-headed
recklessness which, according as its decisions were sudden or considered, made
Dominic draw his breath through his clenched teeth, or look hard at me before
he gave me either a slight nod of assent or a sarcastic "Oh,
certainly"---just as the humour of the moment prompted him.
One night as we were
lying on a bit of dry sand under the lee of a rock, side by side, watching the
light of our little vessel dancing away at sea in the windy distance, Dominic
spoke suddenly to me.
"I suppose
Alphonso and Carlos, Carlos and Alphonso, they are nothing to you, together or
separately?"
I said: "Dominic,
if they were both to vanish from the earth together or separately it would make
no difference to my feelings."
He remarked: "Just
so. A man mourns only for his friends. I suppose they are no more friends to
you than they are to me. Those Carlists make a great consumption of cartridges.
That is well. But why should we do all those mad things that you will insist on
us doing till my hair," he pursued with grave, mocking exaggeration,
"till my hair tries to stand up on my head? and all for that Carlos, let
God and the devil each guard his own, for that Majesty as they call him, but
after all a man like another and---no friend."
"Yes, why?" I
murmured, feeling my body nestled at ease in the sand.
It was very dark under
the overhanging rock on that night of clouds and of wind that died and rose and
died again. Dominic's voice was heard speaking low between the short gusts.
"Friend of the Señora,
eh?"
"That's what the
world says, Dominic."
"Half of what the
world says are lies," he pronounced dogmatically. "For all his
majesty he may be a good enough man. Yet he is only a king in the mountains and
to-morrow he may be no more than you. Still a woman like that---one, somehow,
would grudge her to a better king. She ought to be set up on a high pillar for
people that walk on the ground to raise their eyes up to. But you are
otherwise, you gentlemen. You, for instance, Monsieur, you wouldn't want to see
her set up on a pillar."
"That sort of
thing, Dominic," I said, "that sort of thing, you understand me,
ought to be done early."
He was silent for a
time. And then his manly voice was heard in the shadow of the rock.
"I see well enough
what you mean. I spoke of the multitude, that only raise their eyes. But for
kings and suchlike that is not enough. Well, no heart need despair; for there
is not a woman that wouldn't at some time or other get down from her pillar for
no bigger bribe perhaps than just a flower which is fresh to-day and withered
to-morrow. And then, what's the good of asking how long any woman has been up
there? There is a true saying that lips that have been kissed do not lose their
freshness."
I don't know what
answer I could have made. I imagine Dominic thought himself unanswerable. As a
matter of fact, before I could speak, a voice came to us down the face of the
rock crying secretly, "Olà, down there! All is safe ashore."
It was the boy who used
to hang about the stable of a muleteer's inn in a little shallow valley with a
shallow little stream in it, and where we had been hiding most of the day
before coining down to the shore. We both started to our feet and Dominic said,
"A good boy that. You didn't hear him either come or go above our heads.
Don't reward him with more than one peseta, Señor, whatever he does. If you
were to give him two he would go mad at the sight of so much wealth and throw
up his job at the Fonda, where he is so useful to run errands, in that way he
has of skimming along the paths without displacing a stone."
Meantime he was busying
himself with striking a fire to set alight a small heap of dry sticks he had
made ready beforehand on that spot which in all the circuit of the Bay was
perfectly screened from observation from the land side.
The clear flame shooting
up revealed him in the black cloak with a hood of a Mediterranean sailor. His
eyes watched the dancing dim light to seaward. And he talked the while.
"The only fault
you have, Señor, is being too generous with your money. In this world you must
give sparingly. The only things you may deal out without counting, in this life
of ours which is but a little fight and a little love, is blows to your enemy
and kisses to a woman. . . . Ah! here they are coming in."
I noticed the dancing
light in the dark west much closer to the shore now. Its motion had altered. It
swayed slowly as it ran towards us, and, suddenly, the darker shadow as of a
great pointed wing appeared gliding in the night. Under it a human voice
shouted something confidently.
"Bueno," muttered
Dominic. From some receptacle I didn't see he poured a lot of water on the
blaze, like a magician at the end of a successful incantation that had called
out a shadow and a voice from the immense space of the sea. And his hooded
figure vanished from my sight in a great hiss and the warm feel of ascending
steam.
"That's all
over," he said, "and now we go back for more work, more toil, more
trouble, more exertion with hands and feet, for hours and hours. And all the
time the head turned over the shoulder, too."
We were climbing a
precipitous path sufficiently dangerous in the dark, Dominic, more familiar
with it, going first and I scrambling close behind in order that I might grab
at his cloak if I chanced to slip or miss my footing. I remonstrated against
this arrangement as we stopped to rest. I had no doubt I would grab at his
cloak if I felt myself falling. I couldn't help doing that. But I would
probably only drag him down with me.
With one hand grasping
a shadowy bush above his head he growled that all this was possible, but that
it was all in the bargain, and urged me onwards.
When we got on to the
level that man whose even breathing no exertion, no danger, no fear or anger
could disturb, remarked as we strode side by side:
"I will say this for
us, that we are carrying out all this deadly foolishness as conscientiously as
though the eyes of the Señora were on us all the time. And as to risk, I
suppose we take more than she would approve of, I fancy, if she ever gave a
moment's thought to us out here. Now, for instance, in the next half hour, we
may come any moment on three carabineers who would let off their pieces without
asking questions. Even your way of flinging money about cannot make safety for
men set on defying a whole big country for the sake of--- what is it
exactly?---the blue eyes, or the white arms of the Señora."
He kept his voice
equably low. It was a lonely spot and but for a vague shape of a dwarf tree
here and there we had only the flying clouds for company. Very far off a tiny
light twinkled a little way up the seaward shoulder of an invisible mountain.
Dominic moved on.
"Fancy yourself
lying here, on this wild spot, with a leg smashed by a shot or perhaps with a
bullet in your side. It might happen. A star might fall. I have watched stars
falling in scores on clear nights in the Atlantic. And it was nothing. The
flash of a pinch of gunpowder in your face may be a bigger matter. Yet somehow
it's pleasant as we stumble in the dark to think of our Señora in that long
room with a shiny floor and all that lot of glass at the end, sitting on that
divan, you call it, covered with carpets as if expecting a king indeed. And
very still . . ."
He remembered
her---whose image could not be dismissed.
I laid my hand on his
shoulder.
"That light on the
mountain side flickers exceedingly, Dominic. Are we in the path?"
He addressed me then in
French, which was between us the language of more formal moments.
"Prenez mon bras,
monsieur. Take a firm hold, or I will have you stumbling again and falling into
one of those beastly holes, with a good chance to crack your head. And there is
no need to take offence. For, speaking with all respect, why should you, and I
with you, be here on this lonely spot, barking our shins in the dark on the way
to a confounded flickering light where there will be no other supper but a
piece of a stale sausage and a draught of leathery wine out of a stinking skin.
Pah!"
I had good hold of his
arm. Suddenly he dropped the formal French and pronounced in his inflexible
voice:
"For a pair of
white arms, Señor. `Bueno."
He could understand.
On our return from that
expedition we came gliding into the old harbour so late that Dominic and I,
making for the café kept by Madame Léonore, found it empty of customers, except
for two rather sinister fellows playing cards together at a corner table near
the door. The first thing done by Madame Léonore was to put her hands on
Dominic's shoulders and look at arm's length into the eyes of that man of
audacious deeds and wild stratagems who smiled straight at her from under his
heavy and, at that time, uncurled moustaches.
Indeed we didn't
present a neat appearance, our faces unshaven, with the traces of dried salt
sprays on our smarting skins and the sleeplessness of full forty hours filming
our eyes. At least it was so with me who saw as through a mist Madame Léonore
moving with her mature nonchalant grace, setting before us wine and glasses
with a faint swish of her ample black skirt. Under the elaborate structure of
black hair her jet-black eyes sparkled like good-humoured stars and even I
could see that she was tremendously excited at having this lawless wanderer
Dominic within her reach and as it were in her power. Presently she sat down by
us, touched lightly Dominic's curly head silvered on the temples (she couldn't
really help it), gazed at me for a while with a quizzical smile, observed that
I looked very tired, and asked Dominic whether for all that I was likely to
sleep soundly to-night.
"I don't
know," said Dominic. "He's young. And there is always the chance of
dreams."
"What do you men
dream of in those little barques of yours tossing for months on the
water?"
"Mostly of
nothing," said Dominic. "But it has happened to me to dream of
furious fights."
"And of furious
loves, too, no doubt," she caught him up in a mocking voice.
"No, that's for
the waking hours," Dominic drawled, basking sleepily with his head between
his hands in her ardent gaze. "The waking hours are longer."
"They must be, at
sea," she said, never taking her eyes off him. "But I suppose you do
talk of your loves sometimes."
"You may be sure,
Madame Léonore," I interjected, noticing the hoarseness of my voice,
"that you at any rate are talked about a lot at sea."
"I am not so sure
of that now. There is that strange lady from the Prado that you took him to
see, Signorino. She went to his head like a glass of wine into a tender
youngster's. He is such a child, and I suppose that I am another. Shame to confess
it, the other morning I got a friend to look after the café for a couple of
hours, wrapped up my head, and walked out there to the other end of the town. .
. . Look at these two sitting up! And I thought they were so sleepy and tired,
the poor fellows!"
She kept our curiosity
in suspense for a moment.
"Well, I have seen
your marvel, Dominic," she continued in a calm voice. "She came
flying out of the gate on horseback and it would have been all I would have
seen of her if---and this is for you, Signorino---if she hadn't pulled up in
the main alley to wait for a very good-looking cavalier. He had his moustaches
so, and his teeth were very white when he smiled at her. But his eyes are too
deep in his head for my taste. I didn't like it. It reminded me of a certain
very severe priest who used to come to our village when I was young; younger
even than your marvel, Dominic."
"It was no priest
in disguise, Madame Léonore," I said, amused by her expression of disgust.
"That's an American."
"Ah! Un Americano!
Well, never mind him. It was her that I went to see."
"What! Walked to
the other end of the town to see Doña Rita!" Dominic addressed her in a
low bantering tone. "Why, you were always telling me you couldn't walk
further than the end of the quay to save your life--- or even mine, you
said."
"Well, I did; and
I walked back again and between the two walks I had a good look. And you may be
sure---that will surprise you both---that on the way back---oh, Santa Madre,
wasn't it a long way, too---I wasn't thinking of any man at sea or on shore in
that connection."
"No. And you were
not thinking of yourself, either, I suppose," I said. Speaking was a
matter of great effort for me, whether I was too tired or too sleepy, I can't
tell. "No, you were not thinking of yourself. You were thinking of a
woman, though."
"Si. As much a
woman as any of us that ever breathed in the world. Yes, of her! Of that very
one! You see, we woman are not like you men, indifferent to each other unless
by some exception. Men say we are always against one another but that's only
men's conceit. What can she be to me? I am not afraid of the big child
here," and she tapped Dominic's forearm on which he rested his head with a
fascinated stare. "With us two it is for life and death, and I am rather
pleased that there is something yet in him that can catch fire on occasion. I
would have thought less of him if he hadn't been able to get out of hand a
little, for something really fine. As for you, Signorino," she turned on
me with an unexpected and sarcastic sally, "I am not in love with you
yet." She changed her tone from sarcasm to a soft and even dreamy note.
"A head like a
gem," went on that woman born in some by-street of Rome, and a plaything
for years of God knows what obscure fates. "Yes, Dominic! Antica. I
haven't been haunted by a face since---since I was sixteen years old. It was
the face of a young cavalier in the street. He was on horseback, too. He never
looked at me, I never saw him again, and I loved him for---for days and days
and days. That was the sort of face he had. And her face is of the same sort.
She had a man's hat, too, on her head. So high!"
"A man's hat on
her head," remarked with profound displeasure Dominic, to whom this
wonder, at least, of all the wonders of the earth, was apparently unknown.
"Si. And her face
has haunted me. Not so long as that other but more touchingly because I am no
longer sixteen and this is a woman. Yes, I did think of her. I myself was once
that age and I, too, had a face of my own to show to the world, though not so
superb. And I, too, didn't know why I had come into the world any more than she
does."
"And now you
know," Dominic growled softly, with his head still between his hands.
She looked at him for a
long time, opened her lips but in the end only sighed lightly.
"And what do you
know of her, you who have seen her so well as to be haunted by her face?"
I asked.
I wouldn't have been
surprised if she had answered me with another sigh. For she seemed only to be
thinking of herself and looked not in my direction. But suddenly she roused up.
"Of her?" she
repeated in a louder voice. "Why should I talk of another woman? And then
she is a great lady."
At this I could not
repress a smile which she detected at once.
"Isn't she? Well,
no, perhaps she isn't; but you may be sure of one thing, that she is both flesh
and shadow more than any one that I have seen. Keep that well in your mind: She
is for no man! She would be vanishing out of their hands like water that cannot
be held."
I caught my breath.
"Inconstant," I whispered.
"I don't say that.
Maybe too proud, too wilful, too full of pity. Signorino, you don't know much
about women. And you may learn something yet or you may not; but what you learn
from her you will never forget."
"Not to be
held," I murmured; and she whom the quayside called Madame Léonore closed
her outstretched hand before my face and opened it at once to show its
emptiness in illustration of her expressed opinion. Dominic never moved.
I wished good-night to
these two and left the café for the fresh air and the dark spaciousness of the
quays augmented by all the width of the old Port where between the trails of
light the shadows of heavy hulls appeared very black, merging their outlines in
a great confusion. I left behind me the end of the Cannebière, a wide vista of
tall houses and much-lighted pavements losing itself in the distance with an
extinction of both shapes and lights. I slunk past it with only a side glance
and sought the dimness of quiet streets away from the centre of the usual night
gaieties of the town. The dress I wore was just that of a sailor come ashore
from some coaster, a thick blue woollen shirt or rather a sort of jumper with a
knitted cap like a tam-o'-shanter worn very much on one side and with a red
tuft of wool in the centre. This was even the reason why I had lingered so long
in the café. I didn't want to be recognized in the streets in that costume and
still less to be seen entering the house in the street of the Consuls. At that
hour when the performances were over and all the sensible citizens in their
beds I didn't hesitate to cross the Place of the Opera. It was dark, the
audience had already dispersed. The rare passers-by I met hurrying on their
last affairs of the day paid no attention to me at all. The street of the
Consuls I expected to find empty, as usual at that time of the night. But as I
turned a corner into it I overtook three people who must have belonged to the
locality. To me, somehow, they appeared strange. Two girls in dark cloaks
walked ahead of a tall man in a top hat. I slowed down, not wishing to pass
them by, the more so that the door of the house was only a few yards distant.
But to my intense surprise those people stopped at it and the man in the top
hat, producing a latchkey, let his two companions through, followed them, and
with a heavy slam cut himself off from my astonished self and the rest of
mankind.
In the stupid way
people have I stood and meditated on the sight, before it occurred to me that
this was the most useless thing to do. After waiting a little longer to let the
others get away from the hall I entered in my turn. The small gas-jet seemed
not to have been touched ever since that distant night when Mills and I trod
the black-and-white marble hall for the first time on the heels of Captain
Blunt---who lived by his sword. And in the dimness and solitude which kept no
more trace of the three strangers than if they had been the merest ghosts I
seemed to hear the ghostly murmur, "Américain, Catholique et gentilhomme.
Amér . . ." Unseen by human eye I ran up the flight of steps swiftly and
on the first floor stepped into my sitting-room of which the door was open . .
. "et gentilhomme." I tugged at the bell pull and somewhere down below
a bell rang as unexpected for Therese as a call from a ghost.
I had no notion whether
Therese could hear me. I seemed to remember that she slept in any bed that
happened to be vacant. For all I knew she might have been asleep in mine. As I
had no matches on me I waited for a while in the dark. The house was perfectly
still. Suddenly without the slightest preliminary sound light fell into the
room and Therese stood in the open door with a candlestick in her hand.
She had on her peasant
brown skirt, The rest of her was concealed in a black shawl which covered her
head, her shoulders, arms, and elbows completely, down to her waist. The hand
holding the candle protruded from that envelope which the other invisible hand
clasped together under her very chin. And her face looked like a face in a
painting. She said at once:
"You startled me,
my young Monsieur."
She addressed me most
frequently in that way as though she liked the very word "young." Her
manner was certainly peasant-like with a sort of plaint in the voice, while the
face was that of a serving Sister in some small and rustic convent.
"I meant to do
it," I said. "I am a very bad person."
"The young are
always full of fun," she said as if she were gloating over the idea.
"It is very pleasant."
"But you are very
brave," I chaffed her, "for you didn't expect a ring, and after all
it might have been the devil who pulled the bell."
"It might have
been. But a poor girl like me is not afraid of the devil. I have a pure heart.
I have been to confession last evening. No. But it might have been an assassin
that pulled the bell ready to kill a poor harmless woman. This is a very lonely
street. What could prevent you to kill me now and then walk out again free as
air?"
While she was talking
like this she had lighted the gas and with the last words she glided through
the bedroom door leaving me thunderstruck at the unexpected character of her
thoughts.
I couldn't know that
there had been during my absence a case of atrocious murder which had affected
the imagination of the whole town; and though Therese did not read the papers
(which she imagined to be full of impieties and immoralities invented by
godless men) yet if she spoke at all with her kind, which she must have done at
least in shops, she could not have helped hearing of it. It seems that for some
days people could talk of nothing else. She returned gliding from the bedroom
hermetically scaled in her black shawl just as she had gone in, with the
protruding hand holding the lighted candle and relieved my perplexity as to her
morbid turn of mind by telling me something of the murder story in a strange
tone of indifference even while referring to its most horrible features.
"That's what carnal sin (pêché de chair) leads to," she commented
severely and passed her tongue over her thin lips. "And then the devil
furnishes the occasion."
"I can't imagine
the devil inciting me to murder you, Therese," I said, "and I didn't
like that ready way you took me for an example, as it were. I suppose pretty
near every lodger might be a potential murderer, but I expected to be made an
exception."
With the candle held a
little below her face, with that face of one tone and without relief she looked
more than ever as though she had come out of an old, cracked, smoky painting,
the subject of which was altogether beyond human conception. And she only
compressed her lips.
"All right,"
I said, making myself comfortable on a sofa after pulling off my boots. "I
suppose any one is liable to commit murder all of a sudden. Well, have you got
many murderers in the house? "
"Yes," she
said, "it's pretty good. Upstairs and downstairs," she sighed.
"God sees to it."
"And by the by,
who is that grey-headed murderer in a tall hat whom I saw shepherding two girls
into this house?"
She put on a candid air
in which one could detect a little of her peasant cunning.
"Oh, yes. They are
two dancing girls at the Opera, sisters, as different from each other as I and
our poor Rita. But they are both virtuous and that gentleman, their father, is
very severe with them. Very severe indeed, poor motherless things. And it seems
to be such a sinful occupation."
"I bet you make
them pay a big rent, Therese. With an occupation like that . . ."
She looked at me with
eyes of invincible innocence and began to glide towards the door, so smoothly
that the flame of the candle hardly swayed. "Good-night," she
murmured.
"Good-night,
Mademoiselle."
Then in the very
doorway she turned right round as a marionette would turn.
"Oh, you ought to
know, my dear young Monsieur, that Mr. Blunt, the dear handsome man, has
arrived from Navarre three days ago or more. Oh," she added with a
priceless air of compunction, "he is such a charming gentleman."
And the door shut after
her.
That night I passed in
a state, mostly open-eyed, I believe, but always on the border between dreams
and waking. The only thing absolutely absent from it was the feeling of rest.
The usual sufferings of a youth in love had nothing to do with it. I could leave
her, go away from her, remain away from her, without an added pang or any
augmented consciousness of that torturing sentiment of distance so acute that
often it ends by wearing itself out in a few days. Far or near was all one to
me, as if one could never get any further but also never any nearer to her
secret: the state like that of some strange wild faiths that get hold of
mankind with the cruel mystic grip of unattainable perfection, robbing them of
both liberty and felicity on earth. A faith presents one with some hope,
though. But I had no hope, and not even desire as a thing outside myself, that
would come and go, exhaust or excite. It was in me just like life was in me;
that life of which a popular saying affirms that "it is sweet." For
the general wisdom of mankind will always stop short on the limit of the
formidable.
What is best in a state
of brimful, equable suffering is that it does away with the gnawings of petty
sensations. Too far gone to be sensible to hope and desire I was spared the inferior
pangs of elation and impatience. Hours with her or hours without her were all
alike, all in her possession! But still there are shades and I will admit that
the hours of that morning were perhaps a little more difficult to get through
than the others. I had sent word of my arrival of course. I had written a note.
I had rung the bell. Therese had appeared herself in her brown garb and as
monachal as ever. I had said to her: "Have this sent off at once."
She had gazed at the
addressed envelope, smiled (I was looking up at her from my desk), and at last
took it up with an effort of sanctimonious repugnance. But she remained with it
in her hand looking at me as though she were piously gloating over something
she could read in my face.
"Oh, that Rita,
that Rita," she murmured. "And you, too! Why are you trying, you,
too, like the others, to stand between her and the mercy of God? What's the
good of all this to you? And you such a nice, dear, young gentleman. For no
earthly good only making all the kind saints in heaven angry, and our mother
ashamed in her place amongst the blessed."
"Mademoiselle
Therese," I said, "vous êtes folle."
I believed she was
crazy. She was cunning, too. I added an imperious: "Allez," and with
a strange docility she glided out without another word. All I had to do then
was to get dressed and wait till eleven o'clock. The hour struck at last. If I
could have plunged into a light wave and been transported instantaneously to Doña
Rita's door it would no doubt have saved me an infinity of pangs too complex
for analysis; but as this was impossible I elected to walk from end to end of
that long way. My emotions and sensations were childlike and chaotic inasmuch
that they were very intense and primitive, and that I lay very helpless in
their unrelaxing grasp. If one could have kept a record of one's physical
sensations it would have been a fine collection of absurdities and
contradictions. Hardly touching the ground and yet leaden-footed; with a
sinking heart and an excited brain; hot and trembling with a secret faintness,
and yet as firm as a rock and with a sort of indifference to it all, I did
reach the door which was frightfully like any other commonplace door, but at
the same time had a fateful character: a few planks put together---and an awful
symbol; not to be approached without awe---and yet coming open in the ordinary
way to the ring of the bell.
It came open. Oh, yes,
very much as usual, But in the ordinary course of events the first sight in the
hall should have been the back of the ubiquitous, busy, silent maid hurrying
off and already distant. But not at all! She actually waited for me to enter. I
was extremely taken aback and I believe spoke to her for the first time in my
life.
"Bonjour,
Rose."
She dropped her dark
eyelids over those eyes that ought to have been lustrous but were not, as if
somebody had breathed on them the first thing in the morning. She was a girl
without smiles. She shut the door after me, and not only did that but in the
incredible idleness of that morning she, who had never a moment to spare,
started helping me off with my overcoat. It was positively embarrassing from
its novelty. While busying herself with those trifles she murmured without any
marked intention:
"Captain Blunt is
with Madame."
This didn't exactly
surprise me. I knew he had come up to town; I only happened to have forgotten
his existence for the moment. I looked at the girl also without any particular
intention. But she arrested my movement towards the dining-room door by a low,
hurried, if perfectly unemotional appeal:
"Monsieur
George!"
That of course was not
my name. It served me then as it will serve for this story. In all sorts of
strange places I was alluded to as "that young gentleman they call
Monsieur George." Orders came from "Monsieur George" to men who
nodded knowingly. Events pivoted about "Monsieur George." I haven't
the slightest doubt that in the dark and tortuous streets of the old Town there
were fingers pointed at my back: there goes "Monsieur George." I had
been introduced discreetly to several considerable persons as "Monsieur
George." I had learned to answer to the name quite naturally; and to
simplify matters I was also "Monsieur George" in the street of the
Consuls and in the Villa on the Prado. I verily believe that at that time I had
the feeling that the name of George really belonged to me. I waited for what
the girl had to say. I had to wait some time, though during that silence she
gave no sign of distress or agitation. It was for her obviously a moment of
reflection. Her lips were compressed a little in a characteristic, capable
manner. I looked at her with a friendliness I really felt towards her slight,
unattractive, and dependable person.
"Well," I
said at last, rather amused by this mental hesitation. I never took it for
anything else. I was sure it was not distrust. She appreciated men and things
and events solely in relation to Doña Rita's welfare and safety. And as to that
I believed myself above suspicion. At last she spoke.
"Madame is not
happy." This information was given to me not emotionally but as it were
officially. It hadn't even a tone of warning. A mere statement. Without waiting
to see the effect she opened the dining-room door, not to announce my name in
the usual way but to go in and shut it behind her. In that short moment I heard
no voices inside. Not a sound reached me while the door remained shut; but in a
few seconds it came open again and Rose stood aside to let me pass.
Then I heard something:
Doña Rita's voice raised a little on an impatient note (a very, very rare
thing) finishing some phrase of protest with the words:
". . . Of no
consequence."
I heard them as I would
have heard any other words, for she had that kind of voice which carries a long
distance. But the maid's statement occupied all my mind. "Madame n'est pas
heureuse." It had a dreadful precision . . . "Not happy . . ."
This unhappiness had almost a concrete form---something resembling a horrid
bat. I was tired, excited, and generally overwrought. My head felt empty. What
were the appearances of unhappiness? I was still naive enough to associate them
with tears, lamentations, extraordinary attitudes of the body and some sort of
facial distortion, all very dreadful to behold. I didn't know what I should
see; but in what I did see there was nothing startling, at any rate from that
nursery point of view which apparently I had not yet outgrown.
With immense relief the
apprehensive child within me beheld Captain Blunt warming his back at the more
distant of the two fireplaces; and as to Doña Rita there was nothing
extraordinary in her attitude either, except perhaps that her hair was all
loose about her shoulders. I hadn't the slightest doubt they had been riding
together that morning, but she, with her impatience of all costume (and yet she
could dress herself admirably and wore her dresses triumphantly), had divested
herself of her riding habit and sat cross-legged enfolded in that ample blue
robe like a young savage chieftain in a blanket. It covered her very feet. And
before the normal fixity of her enigmatical eyes the smoke of the cigarette
ascended ceremonially, straight up, in a slender spiral.
"How are
you," was the greeting of Captain Blunt with the usual smile which would
have been more amiable if his teeth hadn't been, just then, clenched quite so
tight. How he managed to force his voice through that shining barrier I could
never understand. Doña Rita tapped the couch engagingly by her side but I sat
down instead in the armchair nearly opposite her, which, I imagine, must have
been just vacated by Blunt. She inquired with that particular gleam of the eyes
in which there was something immemorial and gay:
"Well?"
"Perfect
success."
"I could hug
you."
At any time her lips
moved very little but in this instance the intense whisper of these words
seemed to form itself right in my very heart; not as a conveyed sound but as an
imparted emotion vibrating there with an awful intimacy of delight. And yet it
left my heart heavy.
"Oh, yes, for joy,"
I said bitterly but very low; "for your Royalist, Legitimist, joy."
Then with that trick of very precise politeness which I must have caught from
Mr. Blunt I added:
"I don't want to
be embraced---for the King."
And I might have
stopped there. But I didn't. With a perversity which should be forgiven to
those who suffer night and day and are as if drunk with an exalted unhappiness,
I went on: "For the sake of an old cast-off glove; for I suppose a
disdained love is not much more than a soiled, flabby thing that finds itself
on a private rubbish heap because it has missed the fire."
She listened to me
unreadable, unmoved, narrowed eyes, closed lips, slightly flushed face, as if
carved six thousand years ago in order to fix for ever that something secret
and obscure which is in all women. Not the gross immobility of a Sphinx
proposing roadside riddles but the finer immobility, almost sacred, of a
fateful figure seated at the very source of the passions that have moved men
from the dawn of ages.
Captain Blunt, with his
elbow on the high mantelpiece, had turned away a little from us and his
attitude expressed excellently the detachment of a man who does not want to
hear. As a matter of fact, I don't suppose he could have heard. He was too far
away, our voices were too contained. Moreover, he didn't want to hear. There
could be no doubt about it; but she addressed him unexpectedly.
"As I was saying
to you, Don Juan, I have the greatest difficulty in getting myself, I won't say
understood, but simply believed."
No pose of detachment
could avail against the warm waves of that voice. He had to hear. After a
moment he altered his position as it were reluctantly, to answer her.
"That's a
difficulty that women generally have."
"Yet I have always
spoken the truth."
"All women speak
the truth," said Blunt imperturbably. And this annoyed her.
"Where are the men
I have deceived?" she cried.
"Yes, where?"
said Blunt in a tone of alacrity as though he had been ready to go out and look
for them outside.
"No! But show me
one. I say---where is he?"
He threw his
affectation of detachment to the winds, moved his shoulders slightly, very
slightly, made a step nearer to the couch, and looked down on her with an
expression of amused courtesy.
"Oh, I don't know.
Probably nowhere. But if such a man could be found I am certain he would turn
out a very stupid person. You can't be expected to furnish every one who
approaches you with a mind. To expect that would be too much, even from you who
know how to work wonders at such little cost to yourself."
"To myself,"
she repeated in a loud tone.
"Why this
indignation? I am simply taking your word for it."
"Such little
cost!" she exclaimed under her breath.
"I mean to your
person."
"Oh, yes,"
she murmured, glanced down, as it were upon herself, then added very low:
"This body."
"Well, it is
you," said Blunt with visibly contained irritation. "You don't
pretend it's somebody else's. It can't be. You haven't borrowed it. . . . It
fits you too well," he ended between his teeth.
"You take pleasure
in tormenting yourself," she remonstrated, suddenly placated: "and I
would be sorry for you if I didn't think it's the mere revolt of your pride.
And you know you are indulging your pride at my expense. As to the rest of it,
as to my living, acting, working wonders at a little cost. . . . it has all but
killed me morally. Do you hear? Killed."
"Oh, you are not
dead yet," he muttered.
"No," she
said with gentle patience. "There is still some feeling left in me; and if
it is any satisfaction to you to know it, you may be certain that I shall be
conscious of the last stab."
He remained silent for
a while and then with a polite smile and a movement of the head in my direction
he warned her.
"Our audience will
get bored."
"I am perfectly
aware that Monsieur George is here, and that he has been breathing a very
different atmosphere from what he gets in this room. Don't you find this room
extremely confined?" she asked me.
The room was very large
but it is a fact that I felt oppressed at that moment. This mysterious quarrel
between those two people, revealing something more close in their intercourse
than I had ever before suspected, made me so profoundly unhappy that I didn't
even attempt to answer. And she continued:
"More space. More
air. Give me air, air." She seized the embroidered edges of her blue robe
under her white throat and made as if to tear them apart, to fling it open on
her breast, recklessly, before our eyes. We both remained perfectly still. Her
hands dropped nervelessly by her side. "I envy you, Monsieur George. If I
am to go under I should prefer to be drowned in the sea with the wind on my
face. What luck, to feel nothing less than all the world closing over one's
head!"
A short silence ensued
before Mr. Blunt's drawing-room voice was heard with playful familiarity.
"I have often
asked myself whether you weren't really a very ambitious person, Doña
Rita."
"And I ask myself
whether you have any heart." She was looking straight at him and he
gratified her with the usual cold white flash of his even teeth before he
answered.
"Asking yourself?
That means that you are really asking me. But why do it so publicly? I mean it.
One single, detached presence is enough to make a public. One alone. Why not
wait till he returns to those regions of space and air---from which he
came."
His particular trick of
speaking of any third person as of a lay figure was exasperating. Yet at the
moment I did not know how to resent it, but, in any case, Doña Rita would not
have given me time. Without a moment's hesitation she cried out:
"I only wish he
could take me out there with him."
For a moment Mr.
Blunt's face became as still as a mask and then instead of an angry it assumed
an indulgent expression. As to me I had a rapid vision of Dominic's
astonishment, awe, and sarcasm which was always as tolerant as it is possible
for sarcasm to be. But what a charming, gentle, gay, and fearless companion she
would have made! I believed in her fearlessness in any adventure that would
interest her. It would be a new occasion for me, a new viewpoint for that
faculty of admiration he had awakened in me at sight---at first sight---before
she opened her lips---before she ever turned her eyes on me. She would have to
wear some sort of sailor costume, a blue woollen shirt open at the throat. . .
. Dominic's hooded cloak would envelop her amply, and her face under the black
hood would have a luminous quality, adolescent charm, and an enigmatic
expression. The confined space of the little vessel's quarterdeck would lend
itself to her cross-legged attitudes, and the blue sea would balance gently her
characteristic unmobility that seemed to hide thoughts as old and profound as
itself. As restless, too--- perhaps.
But the picture I had
in my eye. coloured and simple like an illustration to a nursery-book tale of
two venturesome children's escapade, was what fascinated me most. Indeed I felt
that we two were like children under the gaze of a man of the world---who lived
by his sword. And I said recklessly:
"Yes, you ought to
come along with us for a trip. You would see a lot of things for
yourself."
Mr. Blunt's expression
had grown even more indulgent if that were possible. Yet there was something
ineradicably ambiguous about that man. I did not like the indefinable tone in
which he observed:
"You are perfectly
reckless in what you say, Doña Rita. It has become a habit with you of
late."
"While with you
reserve is a second nature, Don Juan."
This was uttered with
the gentlest, almost tender, irony. Mr. Blunt waited a while before he said:
"Certainly. . . .
Would you have liked me to be otherwise?"
She extended her hand
to him on a sudden impulse.
"Forgive me! I may
have been unjust, and you may only have been loyal. The falseness is not in us.
The fault is in life itself, I suppose. I have been always frank with
you."
"And I
obedient," he said, bowing low over her hand. He turned away, paused to
look at me for some time and finally gave me the correct sort of nod. But he
said nothing and went out, or rather lounged out with his worldly manner of
perfect ease under all conceivable circumstances. With her head lowered Doña
Rita watched him till he actually shut the door behind him. I was facing her
and only heard the door close.
"Don't stare at
me," were the first words she said.
It was difficult to
obey that request. I didn't know exactly where to look, while I sat facing her.
So I got up, vaguely full of goodwill, prepared even to move off as far as the
window, when she commanded:
"Don't turn your
back on me."
I chose to understand
it symbolically.
"You know very
well I could never do that. I couldn't. Not even if I wanted to." And I
added: "It's too late now."
"Well, then, sit
down. Sit down on this couch."
I sat down on the
couch. Unwillingly? Yes. I was at that stage when all her words, all her
gestures, all her silences were a heavy trial to me, put a stress on my
resolution, on that fidelity to myself and to her which lay like a leaden
weight on my untried heart. But I didn't sit down very far away from her,
though that soft and billowy couch was big enough, God knows! No, not very far
from her. Self-control, dignity, hopelessness itself, have their limits. The
halo of her tawny hair stirred as I let myself drop by her side. Whereupon she
flung one arm round my neck, leaned her temple against my shoulder and began to
sob; but that I could only guess from her slight, convulsive movements because
in our relative positions I could only see the mass of her tawny hair brushed
back, yet with a halo of escaped hair which as I bent my head over her tickled
my lips, my cheek, in a maddening manner.
We sat like two
venturesome children in an illustration to a tale, scared by their adventure.
But not for long. As I instinctively, yet timidly, sought for her other hand I
felt a tear strike the back of mine, big and heavy as if fallen from a great
height. It was too much for me. I must have given a nervous start. At once I
heard a murmur: "You had better go away now."
I withdrew myself
gently from under the light weight of her head, from this unspeakable bliss and
inconceivable misery, and had the absurd impression of leaving her suspended in
the air. And I moved away on tiptoe.
Like an inspired blind
man led by Providence I found my way out of the room but really I saw nothing,
till in the hall the maid appeared by enchantment before me holding up my
overcoat. I let her help me into it. And then (again as if by enchantment) she
had my hat in her hand.
"No. Madame isn't
happy," I whispered to her distractedly.
She let me take my hat
out of her hand and while I was putting it on my head I heard an austere
whisper:
"Madame should listen
to her heart."
Austere is not the
word; it was almost freezing, this unexpected, dispassionate rustle of words. I
had to repress a shudder, and as coldly as herself I murmured:
"She has done that
once too often."
Rose was standing very
close to me and I caught distinctly the note of scorn in her indulgent
compassion.
"Oh, that! . . .
Madame is like a child."
It was impossible to
get the bearing of that utterance from that girl who, as Doña Rita herself had
told me, was the most taciturn of human beings; and yet of all human beings the
one nearest to herself. I seized her head in my hands and turning up her face I
looked straight down into her black eyes which should have been lustrous. Like
a piece of glass breathed upon they reflected no light, revealed no depths, and
under my ardent gaze remained tarnished, misty, unconscious.
"Will Monsieur
kindly let me go. Monsieur shouldn't play the child, either." (I let her
go.) "Madame could have the world at her feet. Indeed she has it there
only she doesn't care for it."
How talkative she was,
this maid with unsealed lips For some reason or other this last statement of
hers brought me immense comfort.
"Yes?" I
whispered breathlessly.
"Yes! But in that
case what's the use of living in fear and torment?" she went on, revealing
a little more of herself to my astonishment. She opened the door for me and
added:
"Those that don't
care to stoop ought at least make themselves happy."
I turned in the very
doorway: "There is something which prevents that?" I suggested.
"To be sure there
is. Bonjour, Monsieur."
"Such a charming
lady in a grey silk dress and a hand as white as snow. She looked at me through
such funny glasses on the end of a long handle. A very great lady but her voice
was as kind as the voice of a saint. I have never seen anything like that. She
made me feel so timid."
The voice uttering
these words was the voice of Therese and I looked at her from a bed draped
heavily in brown silk curtains fantastically looped up from ceiling to floor.
The glow of a sunshiny day was toned down by closed jalousies to a mere
transparency of darkness. In this thin medium Therese's form appeared flat,
without detail, as if cut out of black paper. It glided towards the window and
with a click and a scrape let in the full flood of light which smote my aching
eyeballs painfully.
In truth all that night
had been the abomination of desolation to me. After wrestling with my thoughts,
if the acute consciousness of a woman's existence may be called a thought, I
had apparently dropped off to sleep only to go on wrestling with a nightmare, a
senseless and terrifying dream of being in bonds which, even after waking, made
me feel powerless in all my limbs. I lay still, suffering acutely from a renewed
sense of existence, unable to lift an arm, and wondering why I was not at sea,
how long I had slept, how long Therese had been talking before her voice had
reached me in that purgatory of hopeless longing and unanswerable questions to
which I was condemned.
It was Therese's habit
to begin talking directly she entered the room with the tray of morning coffee.
This was her method for waking me up. I generally regained the consciousness of
the external world on some pious phrase asserting the spiritual comfort of
early mass, or on angry lamentations about the unconscionable rapacity of the
dealers in fish and vegetables; for after mass it was Therese's practice to do
the marketing for the house. As a matter of fact the necessity of having to
pay, to actually give money to people, infuriated the pious Therese. But the
matter of this morning's speech was so extraordinary that it might have been
the prolongation of a nightmare: a man in bonds having to listen to weird and
unaccountable speeches against which, he doesn't know why, his very soul
revolts.
In sober truth my soul
remained in revolt though I was convinced that I was no longer dreaming. I
watched Therese coming away from the window with that helpless dread a man
bound hand and foot may be excused to feel. For in such a situation even the
absurd may appear ominous. She came up close to the bed and folding her hands
meekly in front of her turned her eyes up to the ceiling,
"If I had been her
daughter she couldn't have spoken more softly to me," she said
sentimentally,
I made a great effort
to speak.
"Mademoiselle
Therese, you are raving."
"She addressed me
as Mademoiselle, too, so nicely. I was struck with veneration for her white
hair but her face, believe me, my dear young Monsieur, has not so many wrinkles
as mine."
She compressed her lips
with an angry glance at me as if I could help her wrinkles, then she sighed.
"God sends
wrinkles, but what is our face?" she digressed in a tone of great
humility. "We shall have glorious faces in Paradise. But meantime God has
permitted me to preserve a smooth heart."
"Are you going to
keep on like this much longer?" I fairly shouted at her. "What are
you talking about?"
"I am talking
about the sweet old lady who came in a carriage. Not a fiacre. I can tell a
fiacre. In a little carriage shut in with glass all in front. I suppose she is
very rich. The carriage was very shiny outside and all beautiful grey stuff
inside. I opened the door to her myself. She got out slowly like a queen. I was
struck all of a heap. Such a shiny beautiful little carriage. There were blue
silk tassels inside, beautiful silk tassels."
Obviously Therese had
been very much impressed by a brougham, though she didn't know the name for it.
Of all the town she knew nothing but the streets which led to a neighbouring
church frequented only by the poorer classes and the humble quarter around,
where she did her marketing. Besides, she was accustomed to glide along the
walls with her eyes cast down; for her natural boldness would never show itself
through that nun-like mien except when bargaining, if only on a matter of
threepence. Such a turn-out had never been presented to her notice before. The
traffic in the street of the Consuls was mostly pedestrian and far from
fashionable. And anyhow Therese never looked out of the window. She lurked in
the depths of the house like some kind of spider that shuns attention. She used
to dart at one from some dark recesses which I never explored.
Yet it seemed to me
that she exaggerated her raptures for some reason or other. With her it was
very difficult to distinguish between craft and innocence.
"Do you mean to
say," I asked suspiciously, "that an old lady wants to hire an
apartment here? I hope you told her there was no room, because, you know, this
house is not exactly the thing for venerable old ladies."
"Don't make me
angry, my dear young Monsieur. I have been to confession this morning. Aren't
you comfortable? Isn't the house appointed richly enough for anybody?"
That girl with a
peasant-nun's face had never seen the inside of a house other than some
half-ruined caserio in her native hills.
I pointed out to her
that this was not a matter of splendour or comfort but of
"convenances." She pricked up her ears at that word which probably
she had never heard before; but with woman's uncanny intuition I believe she
understood perfectly what I meant. Her air of saintly patience became so
pronounced that with my own poor intuition I perceived that she was raging at
me inwardly. Her weather-tanned complexion, already affected by her confined
life, took on an extraordinary clayey aspect which reminded me of a strange
head painted by El Greco which my friend Prax had hung on one of his walls and
used to rail at; yet not without a certain respect.
Therese, with her hands
still meekly folded about her waist, had mastered the feelings of anger so
unbecoming to a person whose sins had been absolved only about three hours
before, and asked me with an insinuating softness whether she wasn't an honest
girl enough to look after any old lady belonging to a world which after all was
sinful. She reminded me that she had kept house ever since she was "so
high" for her uncle the priest: a man well-known for his saintliness in a
large district extending even beyond Pampeluna. The character of a house
depended upon the person who ruled it. She didn't know what impenitent wretches
had been breathing within these walls in the time of that godless and wicked
man who had planted every seed of perdition in "our Rita's"
ill-disposed heart. But he was dead and she, Therese, knew for certain that
wickedness perished utterly, because of God's anger (la colère du bon Dieu).
She would have no hesitation in receiving a bishop, if need be, since "our
Rita," with her poor, wretched, unbelieving heart, had nothing more to do
with the house.
All this came out of
her like an unctuous trickle of some acrid oil. The low, voluble delivery was
enough by itself to compel my attention.
"You think you
know your sister's heart," I asked.
She made small eyes at
me to discover if I was angry. She seemed to have an invincible faith in the
virtuous dispositions of young men. And as I had spoken in measured tones and
hadn't got red in the face she let herself go.
"Black, my dear
young Monsieur. Black. I always knew it. Uncle, poor saintly man, was too holy
to take notice of anything. He was too busy with his thoughts to listen to
anything I had to say to him. For instance as to her shamelessness. She was
always ready to run half naked about the hills . . ."
"Yes. After your
goats. All day long. Why didn't you mend her frocks?"
"Oh, you know
about the goats. My dear young Monsieur, I could never tell when she would
fling over her pretended sweetness and put her tongue out at me. Did she tell
you about a boy, the son of pious and rich parents, whom she tried to lead
astray into the wildness of thoughts like her own, till the poor dear child
drove her off because she outraged his modesty? I saw him often with his
parents at Sunday mass. The grace of God preserved him and made him quite a
gentleman in Paris. Perhaps it will touch Rita's heart, too, some day. But she
was awful then. When I wouldn't listen to her complaints she would say: `All
right, sister, I would just as soon go clothed in rain and wind.' And such a
bag of bones, too, like the picture of a devil's imp. Ah, my dear young
Monsieur, you don't know how wicked her heart is. You aren't bad enough for that
yourself. I don't believe you are evil at all in your innocent little heart. I
never heard you jeer at holy things. You are only thoughtless. For instance, I
have never seen you make the sign of the cross in the morning. Why don't you
make a practice of crossing yourself directly you open your eyes. It's a very
good thing. It keeps Satan off for the day."
She proffered that
advice in a most matter-of-fact tone as if it were a precaution against a cold,
compressed her lips, then returning to her fixed idea, "But the house is
mine," she insisted very quietly with an accent which made me feel that
Satan himself would never manage to tear it out of her hands.
"And so I told the
great lady in grey. I told her that my sister had given it to me and that surely
God would not let her take it away again."
"You told that
grey-headed lady, an utter stranger! You are getting more crazy every day. You
have neither good sense nor good feeling, Mademoiselle Therese, let me tell
you. Do you talk about your sister to the butcher and the greengrocer, too? A
downright savage would have more restraint. What's your object? What do you
expect from it? What pleasure do you get from it? Do you think you please God
by abusing your sister? What do you think you are?"
"A poor lone girl
amongst a lot of wicked people. Do you think I wanted to go forth amongst those
abominations? It's that poor sinful Rita that wouldn't let me be where I was,
serving a holy man, next door to a church, and sure of my share of Paradise. I
simply obeyed my uncle. It's he who told me to go forth and attempt to save her
soul, bring her back to us, to a virtuous life. But what would be the good of
that? She is given over to worldly, carnal thoughts. Of course we are a good
family and my uncle is a great man in the country, but where is the reputable
farmer or God-fearing man of that kind that would dare to bring such a girl
into his house to his mother and sisters. No, let her give her ill-gotten
wealth up to the deserving and devote the rest of her life to repentance."
She uttered these
righteous reflections and presented this programme for the salvation of her
sister's soul in a reasonable convinced tone which was enough to give goose
flesh to one all over.
"Mademoiselle
Therese," I said, "you are nothing less than a monster."
She received that true
expression of my opinion as though I had given her a sweet of a particularly
delicious kind. She liked to be abused. It pleased her to be called names. I
did let her have that satisfaction to her heart's content. At last I stopped
because I could do no more, unless I got out of bed to beat her. I have a vague
notion that she would have liked that, too, but I didn't try. After I had
stopped she waited a little before she raised her downcast eyes.
"You are a dear,
ignorant, flighty young gentleman," she said. "Nobody can tell what a
cross my sister is to me except the good priest in the church where I go every
day."
"And the
mysterious lady in grey," I suggested sarcastically.
"Such a person
might have guessed it," answered Therese, seriously, "but I told her
nothing except that this house had been given me in full property by our Rita.
And I wouldn't have done that if she hadn't spoken to me of my sister first. I
can't tell too many people about that. One can't trust Rita. I know she doesn't
fear God but perhaps human respect may keep her from taking this house back
from me. If she doesn't want me to talk about her to people why doesn't she
give me a properly stamped piece of paper for it?"
She said all this
rapidly in one breath and at the end had a sort of anxious gasp which gave me
the opportunity to voice my surprise. It was immense.
"That lady, the
strange lady, spoke to you of your sister first!" I cried.
"The lady asked
me, after she had been in a little time, whether really this house belonged to
Madame de Lastaola. She had been so sweet and kind and condescending that I did
not mind humiliating my spirit before such a good Christian. I told her that I
didn't know how the poor sinner in her mad blindness called herself, but that
this house had been given to me truly enough by my sister. She raised her
eyebrows at that but she looked at me at the same time so kindly, as much as to
say, `Don't trust much to that, my dear girl,' that I couldn't help taking up
her hand, soft as down, and kissing it. She took it away pretty quick but she
was not offended. But she only said, `That's very generous on your sister's
part,' in a way that made me run cold all over. I suppose all the world knows
our Rita for a shameless girl. It was then that the lady took up those glasses
on a long gold handle and looked at me through them till I felt very much
abashed. She said to me, `There is nothing to be unhappy about. Madame de
Lastaola is a very remarkable person who has done many surprising things. She
is not to be judged like other people and as far as I know she has never
wronged a single human being. . . .' That put heart into me, I can tell you;
and the lady told me then not to disturb her son. She would wait till he woke
up. She knew he was a bad sleeper. I said to her: `Why, I can hear the dear
sweet gentleman this moment having his bath in the fencing-room, and I took her
into the studio. They are there now and they are going to have their lunch
together at twelve o'clock."
"Why on earth
didn't you tell me at first that the lady was Mrs. Blunt?"
"Didn't I? I
thought I did," she said innocently. I felt a sudden desire to get out of
that house, to fly from the reinforced Blunt element which was to me so
oppressive.
"I want to get up
and dress, Mademoiselle Therese," I said.
She gave a slight start
and without looking at me again glided out of the room, the many folds of her
brown skirt remaining undisturbed as she moved.
I looked at my watch;
it was ten o'clock. Therese had been late with my coffee. The delay was clearly
caused by the unexpected arrival of Mr. Blunt's mother, which might or might
not have been expected by her son. The existence of those Blunts made me feel
uncomfortable in a peculiar way as though they had been the denizens of another
planet with a subtly different point of view and something in the intelligence
which was bound to remain unknown to me. It caused in me a feeling of
inferiority which I intensely disliked. This did not arise from the actual fact
that those people originated in another continent. I had met Americans before.
And the Blunts were Americans. But so little! That was the trouble. Captain
Blunt might have been a Frenchman as far as languages, tones, and manners went.
But you could not have mistaken him for one. . . . Why? You couldn't tell. It
was something indefinite. It occurred to me while I was towelling hard my hair,
face, and the back of my neck, that I could not meet J. K. Blunt on equal terms
in any relation of life except perhaps arms in hand, and in preference with
pistols, which are less intimate, acting at a distance---but arms of some sort.
For physically his life, which could be taken away from him, was exactly like
mine, held on the same terms and of the same vanishing quality.
I would have smiled at
my absurdity if all, even the most intimate, vestige of gaiety had not been
crushed out of my heart by the intolerable weight of my love for Rita. It
crushed, it overshadowed, too, it was immense. If there were any smiles in the
world (which I didn't believe) I could not have seen them. Love for Rita . . .
if it was love, I asked myself despairingly, while I brushed my hair before a
glass. It did not seem to have any sort of beginning as far as I could
remember. A thing the origin of which you cannot trace cannot be seriously
considered. It is an illusion. Or perhaps mine was a physical state, some sort
of disease akin to melancholia which is a form of insanity? The only moments of
relief I could remember were when she and I would start squabbling like two
passionate infants in a nursery, over anything under heaven, over a phrase, a
word sometimes, in the great light of the glass rotunda, disregarding the quiet
entrances and exits of the ever-active Rose, in great bursts of voices and
peals of laughter. . . .
I felt tears come into
my eyes at the memory of her laughter, the true memory of the senses almost
more penetrating than the reality itself. It haunted me. All that appertained
to her haunted me with the same awful intimacy, her whole form in the familiar
pose, her very substance in its colour and texture, her eyes, her lips, the
gleam of her teeth, the tawny mist of her hair, the smoothness of her forehead,
the faint scent that she used, the very shape, feel, and warmth of her
high-heeled slipper that would sometimes in the heat of the discussion drop on
the floor with a crash, and which I would (always in the heat of the
discussion) pick up and toss back on the couch without ceasing to argue. And
besides being haunted by what was Rita on earth I was haunted also by her
waywardness, her gentleness and her flame, by that which the high gods called
Rita when speaking of her amongst themselves. Oh, yes, certainly I was haunted
by her but so was her sister Therese---who was crazy. It proved nothing. As to
her tears, since I had not caused them, they only aroused my indignation. To
put her head on my shoulder, to weep these strange tears, was nothing short of
an outrageous liberty. It was a mere emotional trick. She would have just as
soon leaned her head against the over-mantel of one of those tall, red granite
chimney-pieces in order to weep comfortably. And then when she had no longer
any need of support she dispensed with it by simply telling me to go away. How
convenient! The request had sounded pathetic, almost sacredly so, but then it
might have been the exhibition of the coolest possible impudence. With her one
could not tell. Sorrow, indifference, tears, smiles, all with her seemed to
have a hidden meaning. Nothing could be trusted. . . . "Heavens! Am I as
crazy as Therese?" I asked myself with a passing chill of fear, while
occupied in equalizing the ends of my neck-tie.
I felt suddenly that
"this sort of thing" would kill me. The definition of the cause was
vague, but the thought itself was no mere morbid artificiality of sentiment but
a genuine conviction. "That sort of thing" was what I would have to
die from. It wouldn't be from the innumerable doubts. Any sort of certitude
would be also deadly. It wouldn't be from a stab---a kiss would kill me as
surely. It would not be from a frown or from any particular word or any
particular act---but from having to bear them all, together and in
succession---from having to live with "that sort of thing." About the
time I finished with my neck-tie I had done with life too. I absolutely did not
care because I couldn't tell whether, mentally and physically, from the roots
of my hair to the soles of my feet---whether I was more weary, or unhappy.
And now my toilet was
finished, my occupation was gone. An immense distress descended upon me. It has
been observed that the routine of daily life, that arbitrary system of trifles,
is a great moral support. But my toilet was finished, I had nothing more to do
of those things consecrated by usage and which leave you no option. The
exercise of any kind of volition by a man whose consciousness is reduced to the
sensation that he is being killed by "that sort of thing" cannot be
anything but mere trifling with death, an insincere pose before himself. I
wasn't capable of it. It was then that I discovered that being killed by
"that sort of thing," I mean the absolute conviction of it, was, so
to speak, nothing in itself. The horrible part was the waiting. That was the
cruelty, the tragedy, the bitterness of it. "Why the devil don't I drop
dead now?" I asked myself peevishly, taking a clean handkerchief out of
the drawer and stuffing it in my pocket.
This was absolutely the
last thing, the last ceremony of an imperative rite. I was abandoned to myself
now and it was terrible. Generally I used to go out, walk down to the port,
take a look at the craft I loved with a sentiment that was extremely complex,
being mixed up with the image of a woman; perhaps go on board, not because
there was anything for me to do there but just for nothing, for happiness,
simply as a man will sit contented in the companionship of the beloved object.
For lunch I had the choice of two places, one Bohemian, the other select, even
aristocratic, where I had still my reserved table in the petit salon, up the
white staircase. In both places I had friends who treated my erratic
appearances with discretion, in one case tinged with respect, in the other with
a certain amused tolerance. I owed this tolerance to the most careless, the
most confirmed of those Bohemians (his beard had streaks of grey amongst its
many other tints) who, once bringing his heavy hand down on my shoulder, took
my defence against the charge of being disloyal and even foreign to that milieu
of earnest visions taking beautiful and revolutionary shapes in the smoke of
pipes, in the jingle of glasses.
"That fellow (ce
garĉon) is a primitive nature, but he may be an artist in a sense. He
has broken away from his conventions. He is trying to put a special vibration
and his own notion of colour into his life; and perhaps even to give it a
modelling according to his own ideas. And for all you know he may be on the
track of a masterpiece; but observe: if it happens to be one nobody will see
it. It can be only for himself. And even he won't be able to see it in its
completeness except on his death-bed. There is something fine in that."
I had blushed with
pleasure; such fine ideas had never entered my head. But there was something
fine. . . . How far all this seemed! How mute and how still! What a phantom he
was, that man with a beard of at least seven tones of brown. And those shades
of the other kind such as Baptiste with the shaven diplomatic face, the maître
d'hôtel in charge of the petit salon, taking my hat and stick from me with a
deferential remark: "Monsieur is not very often seen nowadays." And
those other well-groomed heads raised and nodding at my passage---
"Bonjour." "Bonjour"---following me with interested eyes;
these young X.s and Z.s, low-toned, markedly discreet, lounging up to my table
on their way out with murmurs: "Are you well?"---"Will one see
you anywhere this evening?"---not from curiosity, God forbid, but just
from friendliness; and passing on almost without waiting for an answer. What
had I to do with them, this elegant dust, these moulds of provincial fashion?
I also often lunched
with Doña Rita without invitation. But that was now unthinkable. What had I to
do with a woman who allowed somebody else to make her cry and then with an
amazing lack of good feeling did her offensive weeping on my shoulder?
Obviously I could have nothing to do with her. My five minutes' meditation in
the middle of the bedroom came to an end without even a sigh. The dead don't
sigh, and for all practical purposes I was that, except for the final
consummation, the growing cold, the rigor mortis---that blessed state! With
measured steps I crossed the landing to my sitting-room.
The windows of that
room gave out on the street of the Consuls which as usual was silent. And the
house itself below me and above me was soundless, perfectly still. In general
the house was quiet, dumbly quiet, without resonances of any sort, something
like what one would imagine the interior of a convent would be. I suppose it
was very solidly built. Yet that morning I missed in the stillness that feeling
of security and peace which ought to have been associated with it. It is, I
believe, generally admitted that the dead are glad to be at rest. But I wasn't
at rest. What was wrong with that silence? There was something incongruous in
that peace. What was it that had got into that stillness? Suddenly I
remembered: the mother of Captain Blunt.
Why had she come all
the way from Paris? And why should I bother my head about it? H'm---the Blunt
atmosphere, the reinforced Blunt vibration stealing through the walls, through
the thick walls and the almost more solid stillness. Nothing to me, of
course---the movements of Mme. Blunt, mère. It was maternal affection which had
brought her south by either the evening or morning Rapide, to take anxious
stock of the ravages of that insomnia. Very good thing, insomnia, for a cavalry
officer perpetually on outpost duty, a real god-send, so to speak; but on leave
a truly devilish condition to be in.
The above sequence of
thoughts was entirely unsympathetic and it was followed by a feeling of
satisfaction that I, at any rate, was not suffering from insomnia. I could
always sleep in the end. In the end. Escape into a nightmare. Wouldn't he revel
in that if he could! But that wasn't for him. He had to toss about open-eyed
all night and get up weary, weary. But oh, wasn't I weary, too, waiting for a
sleep without dreams.
I heard the door behind
me open. I had been standing with my face to the window and, I declare, not
knowing what I was looking at across the road---the Desert of Sahara or a wall
of bricks, a landscape of rivers and forests or only the Consulate of Paraguay.
But I had been thinking, apparently, of Mr. Blunt with such intensity that when
I saw him enter the room it didn't really make much difference. When I turned
about the door behind him was already shut. He advanced towards me, correct,
supple, hollow-eyed, and smiling; and as to his costume ready to go out except
for the old shooting jacket which he must have affectioned particularly, for he
never lost any time in getting into it at every opportunity. Its material was
some tweed mixture; it had gone inconceivably shabby, it was shrunk from old
age, it was ragged at the elbows; but any one could see at a glance that it had
been made in London by a celebrated tailor, by a distinguished specialist.
Blunt came towards me in all the elegance of his slimness and affirming in
every line of his face and body, in the correct set of his shoulders and the
careless freedom of his movements, the superiority, the inexpressible superiority,
the unconscious, the unmarked, the not-to-be-described, and even
not-to-be-caught, superiority of the naturally born and the perfectly finished
man of the world, over the simple young man. He was smiling, easy, correct,
perfectly delightful, fit to kill.
He had come to ask me,
if I had no other engagement, to lunch with him and his mother in about an
hour's time. He did it in a most dégagé tone. His mother had given him a
surprise. The completest . . . The foundation of his mother's psychology was her
delightful unexpectedness. She could never let things be (this in a peculiar
tone which he checked at once) and he really would take it very kindly of me if
I came to break the tête-à-tête for a while (that is if I had no other
engagement. Flash of teeth). His mother was exquisitely and tenderly absurd.
She had taken it into her head that his health was endangered in some way. And
when she took anything into her head . . . Perhaps I might find something to
say which would reassure her. His mother had two long conversations with Mills
on his passage through Paris and had heard of me (I knew how that thick man
could speak of people, he interjected ambiguously) and his mother, with an
insatiable curiosity for anything that was rare (filially humorous accent here
and a softer flash of teeth), was very anxious to have me presented to her
(courteous intonation, but no teeth). He hoped I wouldn't mind if she treated
me a little as an "interesting young man." His mother had never got
over her seventeenth year, and the manner of the spoilt beauty of at least
three counties at the back of the Carolinas. That again got overlaid by the
sans-faĉon of a grande dame of the Second Empire.
I accepted the
invitation with a worldly grin and a perfectly just intonation, because I
really didn't care what I did. I only wondered vaguely why that fellow required
all the air in the room for himself. There did not seem enough left to go down
my throat. I didn't say that I would come with pleasure or that I would be
delighted, but I said that I would come. He seemed to forget his tongue in his
head, put his hands in his pockets and moved about vaguely. "I am a little
nervous this morning," he said in French, stopping short and looking we
straight in the eyes. His own were deep sunk, dark, fatal. I asked with some
malice, that no one could have detected in my intonation, "How's that
sleeplessness?"
He muttered through his
teeth, "Mal. Je ne dors plus." He moved off to stand at the window
with his back to the room. I sat down on a sofa that was there and put my feet
up, and silence took possession of the room.
"Isn't this street
ridiculous?" said Blunt suddenly, and crossing the room rapidly waved his
hand to me, "A bientôt donc," and was gone. He had seared himself
into my mind. I did not understand him nor his mother then; which made them
more impressive; but I have discovered since that those two figures required no
mystery to make them memorable. Of course it isn't every day that one meets a
mother that lives by her wits and a son that lives by his sword, but there was
a perfect finish about their ambiguous personalities which is not to be met
twice in a life-time. I shall never forget that grey dress with ample skirts
and long corsage yet with infinite style, the ancient as if ghostly beauty of
outlines, the black lace, the silver hair, the harmonious, restrained movements
of those white, soft hands like the hands of a queen---or an abbess; and in the
general fresh effect of her person the brilliant eyes like two stars with the
calm reposeful way they had of moving on and off one, as if nothing in the
world had the right to veil itself before their once sovereign beauty. Captain
Blunt with smiling formality introduced me by name, adding with a certain
relaxation of the formal tone the comment: "The `Monsieur George' whose
fame you tell me has reached even Paris." Mrs. Blunt's reception of me,
glance, tones, even to the attitude of the admirably corseted figure, was most
friendly, approaching the limit of half-familiarity. I had the feeling that I
was beholding in her a captured ideal. No common experience! But I didn't care.
It was very lucky perhaps for me that in a way I was like a very sick man who
has yet preserved all his lucidity. I was not even wondering to myself at what
on earth I was doing there. She breathed out: "Comme c'est
romantique," at large to the dusty studio as it were; then pointing to a
chair at her right hand, and bending slightly towards me she said:
"I have heard this
name murmured by pretty lips in more than one royalist salon."
I didn't say anything
to that ingratiating speech. I had only an odd thought that she could not have
had such a figure, nothing like it, when she was seventeen and wore snowy
muslin dresses on the family plantation in South Carolina, in preabolition
days.
"You won't mind, I
am sure, if an old woman whose heart is still young elects to call you by
it," she declared.
"Certainly,
Madame. It will be more romantic," I assented with a respectful bow.
She dropped a calm:
"Yes---there is nothing like romance while one is young. So I will call
you Monsieur George," she paused and then added, "I could never get
old," in a matter-of-fact final tone as one would remark, "I could
never learn to swim," and I had the presence of mind to say in a tone to
match, "C'est évident, Madame." It was evident. She couldn't get old;
and across the table her thirty-year-old son who couldn't get sleep sat
listening with courteous detachment and the narrowest possible line of white
underlining his silky black moustache.
"Your services are
immensely appreciated," she said with an amusing touch of importance as of
a great official lady. "Immensely appreciated by people in a position to
understand the great significance of the Carlist movement in the South. There
it has to combat anarchism, too. I who have lived through the Commune . .
."
Therese came in with a
dish, and for the rest of the lunch the conversation so well begun drifted
amongst the most appalling inanities of the religious-royalist-legitimist
order. The ears of all the Bourbons in the world must have been burning. Mrs.
Blunt seemed to have come into personal contact with a good many of them and
the marvellous insipidity of her recollections was astonishing to my
inexperience. I looked at her from time to time thinking: She has seen slavery.
she has seen the Commune, she knows two continents, she has seen a civil war,
the glory of the Second Empire, the horrors of two sieges; she has been in
contact with marked personalities, with great events, she has lived on her
wealth, on her personality, and there she is with her plumage unruffled, as
glossy as ever, unable to get old:---a sort of Phœnix free from the slightest
signs of ashes and dust, all complacent amongst those inanities as if there had
been nothing else in the world. In my youthful haste I asked myself what sort
of airy soul she had.
At last Therese put a
dish of fruit on the table, a small collection of oranges, raisins, and nuts.
No doubt she had bought that lot very cheap and it did not look at all
inviting. Captain Blunt jumped up. "My mother can't stand tobacco smoke.
Will you keep her company, mon cher, while I take a turn with a cigar in that
ridiculous garden. The brougham from the hotel will be here very soon."
He left us in the white
flash of an apologetic grin. Almost directly he reappeared, visible from head
to foot through the glass side of the studio, pacing up and down the central
path of that "ridiculous" garden: for its elegance and its air of
good breeding the most remarkable figure that I have ever seen before or since.
He had changed his coat. Madame Blunt mère lowered the long-handled glasses
through which she had been contemplating him with an appraising, absorbed
expression which had nothing maternal in it. But what she said to me was:
"You understand my
anxieties while he is campaigning with the King."
She had spoken in
French and she had used the expression "mes transes" but for all the
rest, intonation, bearing, solemnity, she might have been referring to one of
the Bourbons. I am sure that not a single one of them looked half as aristocratic
as her son.
"I understand
perfectly, Madame. But then that life is so romantic."
"Hundreds of young
men belonging to a certain sphere are doing that," she said very
distinctly, "only their case is different. They have their positions,
their families to go back to; but we are different. We are exiles, except of
course for the ideals, the kindred spirit, the friendships of old standing we
have in France. Should my son come out unscathed he has no one but me and I
have no one but him. I have to think of his life. Mr. Mills (what a
distinguished mind that is!) has reassured me as to my son's health. But he
sleeps very badly, doesn't he?"
I murmured something
affirmative in a doubtful tone and she remarked quaintly, with a certain
curtness, "It's so unnecessary, this worry! The unfortunate position of an
exile has its advantages. At a certain height of social position (wealth has
got nothing to do with it, we have been ruined in a most righteous cause), at a
certain established height one can disregard narrow prejudices. You see
examples in the aristocracies of all the countries. A chivalrous young American
may offer his life for a remote ideal which yet may belong to his familial
tradition. We, in our great country, have every sort of tradition. But a young
man of good connections and distinguished relations must settle down some day,
dispose of his life."
"No doubt,
Madame," I said, raising my eyes to the figure outside---"Américain,
Catholique et gentilhomme--- walking up and down the path with a cigar which he
was not smoking. "For myself, I don't know anything about those
necessities. I have broken away for ever from those things."
"Yes, Mr. Mills
talked to me about you. What a golden heart that is. His sympathies are
infinite."
I thought suddenly of
Mills pronouncing on Mme. Blunt, whatever his text on me might have been:
"She lives by her wits." Was she exercising her wits on me for some
purpose of her own? And I observed coldly:
"I really know
your son so very little."
"Oh, voyons,"
she protested. "I am aware that you are very much younger, but the
similitudes of opinions, origins and perhaps at bottom, faintly, of character,
of chivalrous devotion---no, you must be able to understand him in a measure.
He is infinitely scrupulous and recklessly brave."
I listened
deferentially to the end yet with every nerve in my body tingling in hostile
response to the Blunt vibration, which seemed to have got into my very hair.
"I am convinced of
it, Madame. I have even heard of your son's bravery. It's extremely natural in
a man who, in his own words, `lives by his sword.' "
She suddenly departed
from her almost inhuman perfection, betrayed "nerves" like a common
mortal, of course very slightly, but in her it meant more than a blaze of fury
from a vessel of inferior clay. Her admirable little foot, marvellously shod in
a black shoe, tapped the floor irritably. But even in that display there was
something exquisitely delicate. The very anger in her voice was silvery, as it
were, and more like the petulance of a seventeen-year-old beauty.
"What nonsense! A
Blunt doesn't hire himself."
"Some princely
families," I said, "were founded by men who have done that very
thing. The great Condottieri, you know."
It was in an almost
tempestuous tone that she made me observe that we were not living in the
fifteenth century. She gave me also to understand with some spirit that there
was no question here of founding a family. Her son was very far from being the
first of the name. His importance lay rather in being the last of a race which
had totally perished, she added in a completely drawing-room tone, "in our
Civil War."
She had mastered her
irritation and through the glass side of the room sent a wistful smile to his
address, but I noticed the yet unextinguished anger in her eyes full of fire
under her beautiful white eyebrows. For she was growing old! Oh, yes, she was
growing old, and secretly weary, and perhaps desperate.
Without caring much
about it I was conscious of sudden illumination. I said to myself confidently
that these two people had been quarrelling all the morning. I had discovered
the secret of my invitation to that lunch. They did not care to face the strain
of some obstinate, inconclusive discussion for fear, maybe, of it ending in a
serious quarrel. And so they had agreed that I should be fetched downstairs to
create a diversion. I cannot say I felt annoyed. I didn't care. My perspicacity
did not please me either. I wished they had left me alone--- but nothing
mattered. They must have been in their superiority accustomed to make use of
people, without compunction. From necessity, too. She especially. She lived by
her wits. The silence had grown so marked that I had at last to raise my eyes;
and the first thing I observed was that Captain Blunt was no longer to be seen
in the garden. Must have gone indoors. Would rejoin us in a moment. Then I
would leave mother and son to themselves.
The next thing I
noticed was that a great mellowness had descended upon the mother of the last
of his race. But these terms, irritation, mellowness, appeared gross when
applied to her. It is impossible to give an idea of the refinement and subtlety
of all her transformations. She smiled faintly at me.
"But all this is
beside the point. The real point is that my son, like all fine natures, is a
being of strange contradictions which the trials of life have not yet
reconciled in him. With me it is a little different. The trials fell mainly to
my share---and of course I have lived longer. And then men are much more complex
than women, much more difficult, too. And you, Monsieur George? Are you
complex, with unexpected resistances and difficulties in your être
intime---your inner self? I wonder now . . ."
The Blunt atmosphere
seemed to vibrate all over my skin. I disregarded the symptom.
"Madame," I said, "I have never tried to find out what sort of
being I am."
"Ah, that's very
wrong. We ought to reflect on what manner of beings we are. Of course we are
all sinners. My John is a sinner like the others," she declared further,
with a sort of proud tenderness as though our common lot must have felt
honoured and to a certain extent purified by this condescending recognition.
"You are too young
perhaps as yet . . . But as to my John," she broke off, leaning her elbow on
the table and supporting her head on her old, impeccably shaped, white fore-arm
emerging from a lot of precious, still older, lace trimming the short sleeve.
"The trouble is that he suffers from a profound discord between the
necessary reactions to life and even the impulses of nature and the lofty
idealism of his feelings; I may say, of his principles. I assure you that he
won't even let his heart speak uncontradicted."
I am sure I don't know
what particular devil looks after the associations of memory, and I can't even
imagine the shock which it would have been for Mrs. Blunt to learn that the
words issuing from her lips had awakened in me the visual perception of a dark-skinned,
hard-driven lady's maid with tarnished eyes; even of the tireless Rose handing
me my hat while breathing out the enigmatic words: "Madame should listen
to her heart." A wave from the atmosphere of another house rolled in,
overwhelming and fiery, seductive and cruel, through the Blunt vibration,
bursting through it as through tissue paper and filling my heart with sweet
murmurs and distracting images, till it seemed to break, leaving an empty
stillness in my breast.
After that for a long
time I heard Mme. Blunt mère talking with extreme fluency and I even caught the
individual words, but I could not in the revulsion of my feelings get hold of
the sense. She talked apparently of life in general, of its difficulties, moral
and physical, of its surprising turns, of its unexpected contacts, of the
choice and rare personalities that drift on it as if on the sea; of the
distinction that letters and art gave to it, the nobility and consolations
there are in æsthetics, of the privileges they confer on individuals and (this
was the first connected statement I caught) that Mills agreed with her in the
general point of view as to the inner worth of individualities and in the
particular instance of it on which she had opened to him her innermost heart.
Mills had a universal mind. His sympathy was universal, too. He had that large
comprehension---oh, not cynical, not at all cynical, in fact rather
tender---which was found in its perfection only in some rare, very rare
Englishmen. The dear creature was romantic, too. Of course he was reserved in
his speech but she understood Mills perfectly. Mills apparently liked me very
much.
It was time for me to
say something. There was a challenge in the reposeful black eyes resting upon
my face. I murmured that I was very glad to hear it. She waited a little, then
uttered meaningly, "Mr. Mills is a little bit uneasy about you."
"It's very good of
him," I said. And indeed I thought that it was very good of him, though I
did ask myself vaguely in my dulled brain why he should be uneasy. Somehow it
didn't occur to me to ask Mrs. Blunt. Whether she had expected me to do so or
not I don't know but after a while she changed the pose she had kept so long
and folded her wonderfully preserved white arms. She looked a perfect picture
in silver and grey, with touches of black here and there. Still I said nothing
more in my dull misery. She waited a little longer, then she woke me up with a
crash. It was as if the house had fallen, and yet she had only asked me:
"I believe you are
received on very friendly terms by Madame de Lastaola on account of your common
exertions for the cause. Very good friends, are you not?"
"You mean
Rita," I said stupidly, but I felt stupid, like a man who wakes up only to
be hit on the head.
"Oh, Rita," she
repeated with unexpected acidity, which somehow made me feel guilty of an
incredible breach of good manners. "H'm, Rita. . . . Oh, well, let it be
Rita---for the present. Though why she should be deprived of her name in
conversation about her, really I don't understand. Unless a very special
intimacy . . ."
She was distinctly
annoyed. I said sulkily, "It isn't her name."
"It is her choice,
I understand, which seems almost a better title to recognition on the part of
the world. It didn't strike you so before? Well, it seems to me that choice has
got more right to be respected than heredity or law. Moreover, Mme. de
Lastaola," she continued in an insinuating voice, "that most rare and
fascinating young woman is, as a friend like you cannot deny, outside legality
altogether. Even in that she is an exceptional creature. For she is
exceptional---you agree?"
I had gone dumb, I
could only stare at her.
"Oh, I see, you
agree. No friend of hers could deny."
"Madame," I
burst out, "I don't know where a question of friendship comes in here with
a person whom you yourself call so exceptional. I really don't know how she
looks upon me. Our intercourse is of course very close and confidential. Is
that also talked about in Paris?"
"Not at all, not
in the least," said Mrs. Blunt, easy, equable, but with her calm,
sparkling eyes holding me in angry subjection. "Nothing of the sort is
being talked about. The references to Mme. de Lastaola are in a very different
tone, I can assure you, thanks to her discretion in remaining here. And, I must
say, thanks to the discreet efforts of her friends. I am also a friend of Mme.
de Lastaola, you must know. Oh, no, I have never spoken to her in my life and
have seen her only twice, I believe. I wrote to her though, that I admit. She
or rather the image of her has come into my life, into that part of it where
art and letters reign undisputed like a sort of religion of beauty to which I
have been faithful through all the vicissitudes of my existence. Yes, I did
write to her and I have been preoccupied with her for a long time. It arose
from a picture, from two pictures and also from a phrase pronounced by a man,
who in the science of life and in the perception of æsthetic truth had no equal
in the world of culture. He said that there was something in her of the women
of all time. I suppose he meant the inheritance of all the gifts that make up
an irresistible fascination---a great personality. Such women are not born
often. Most of them lack opportunities. They never develop. They end obscurely.
Here and there one survives to make her mark---even in history. . . . And even
that is not a very enviable fate. They are at another pole from the so-called
dangerous women who are merely coquettes. A coquette has got to work for her
success. The others have nothing to do but simply exist. You perceive the view
I take of the difference?"
I perceived the view. I
said to myself that nothing in the world could be more aristocratic. This was
the slave-owning woman who had never worked, even if she had been reduced to
live by her wits. She was a wonderful old woman. She made me dumb. She held me
fascinated by the well-bred attitude, something sublimely aloof in her air of
wisdom.
I just simply let
myself go admiring her as though I had been a mere slave of æsthetics: the
perfect grace, the amazing poise of that venerable head, the assured as if
royal---yes, royal---even flow of the voice. . . . But what was it she was
talking about now? These were no longer considerations about fatal women. She
was talking about her son again. My interest turned into mere bitterness of
contemptuous attention. For I couldn't withhold it though I tried to let the
stuff go by. Educated in the most aristocratic college in Paris . . . at
eighteen . . . call of duty . . . with General Lee to the very last cruel
minute . . . after that catastrophe---end of the world---return to France---to
old friendships, infinite kindness---but a life hollow, without occupation. . .
. Then 1870---and chivalrous response to adopted country's call and again
emptiness, the chafing of a proud spirit without aim and handicapped not
exactly by poverty but by lack of fortune. And she, the mother, having to look
on at this wasting of a most accomplished man, of a most chivalrous nature that
practically had no future before it.
"You understand me
well, Monsieur George. A nature like this! It is the most refined cruelty of
fate to look at. I don't know whether I suffered more in times of war or in
times of peace. You understand?"
I bowed my head in
silence. What I couldn't understand was why he delayed so long in joining us
again. Unless he had had enough of his mother? I thought without any great
resentment that I was being victimized; but then it occurred to me that the
cause of his absence was quite simple. I was familiar enough with his habits by
this time to know that he often managed to snatch an hour's sleep or so during
the day. He had gone and thrown himself on his bed.
"I admire him
exceedingly," Mrs. Blunt was saying in a tone which was not at all
maternal. "His distinction, his fastidiousness, the earnest warmth of his
heart. I know him well. I assure you that I would never have dared to
suggest," she continued with an extraordinary haughtiness of attitude and
tone that aroused my attention, "I would never have dared to put before
him my views of the extraordinary merits and the uncertain fate of the
exquisite woman of whom we speak, if I had not been certain that, partly by my
fault, I admit, his attention has been attracted to her and his---his---his
heart engaged."
It was as if some one
had poured a bucket of cold water over my head. I woke up with a great shudder
to the acute perception of my own feelings and of that aristocrat's incredible
purpose. How it could have germinated, grown and matured in that exclusive soil
was inconceivable. She had been inciting her son all the time to undertake
wonderful salvage work by annexing the heiress of Henry Allègre---the woman and
the fortune.
There must have been an
amazed incredulity in my eyes, to which her own responded by an unflinching
black brilliance which suddenly seemed to develop a scorching quality even to
the point of making me feel extremely thirsty all of a sudden. For a time my
tongue literally clove to the roof of my mouth. I don't know whether it was an
illusion but it seemed to me that Mrs. Blunt had nodded at me twice as if to
say: "You are right, that's so." I made an effort to speak but it was
very poor, If she did hear me it was because she must have been on the watch
for the faintest sound.
"His heart
engaged. Like two hundred others, or two thousand, all around," I mumbled.
"Altogether
different. And it's no disparagement to a woman surely. Of course her great
fortune protects her in a certain measure."
"Does it?" I
faltered out and that time I really doubt whether she heard me. Her aspect in
my eyes had changed. Her purpose being disclosed, her well-bred ease appeared
sinister, her aristocratic repose a treacherous device, her venerable
graciousness a mask of unbounded contempt for all human beings whatever. She
was a terrible old woman with those straight, white wolfish eyebrows. How blind
I had been! Those eyebrows alone ought to have been enough to give her away.
Yet they were as beautifully smooth as her voice when she admitted: "That
protection naturally is only partial. There is the danger of her own self, poor
girl. She requires guidance."
I marvelled at the
villainy of my tone as I spoke, but it was only assumed.
"I don't think she
has done badly for herself, so far," I forced myself to say. "I
suppose you know that she began life by herding the village goats."
In the course of that
phrase I noticed her wince just the least bit. Oh, yes, she winced; but at the
end of it she smiled easily.
"No, I didn't
know. So she told you her story! Oh, well, I suppose you are very good friends.
A goatherd--- really? In the fairy tale I believe the girl that marries the
prince is---what is it?---a gardeuse d'oies. And what a thing to drag out
against a woman. One might just as soon reproach any of them for coming
unclothed into the world. They all do, you know. And then they become what you
will discover when you have lived longer, Monsieur George---for the most part
futile creatures, without any sense of truth and beauty, drudges of all sorts,
or else dolls to dress. In a word---ordinary."
The implication of
scorn in her tranquil manner was immense. It seemed to condemn all those that
were not born in the Blunt connection. It was the perfect pride of Republican
aristocracy, which has no gradations and knows no limit, and, as if created by
the grace of God, thinks it ennobles everything it touches: people, ideas, even
passing tastes!
"How many of
them," pursued Mrs. Blunt, "have had the good fortune, the leisure to
develop their intelligence and their beauty in æsthetic conditions as this
charming woman had? Not one in a million. Perhaps not one in an age."
"The heiress of
Henry Allègre," I murmured.
"Precisely. But
John wouldn't be marrying the heiress of Henry Allègre."
It was the first time
that the frank word, the clear idea came into the conversation and it made me
feel ill with a sort of enraged faintness.
"No." I said.
"It would be Mme. de Lastaola then."
"Mme. la Comtesse
de Lastaola as soon as she likes after the success of this war."
"And you believe
in its success?"
"Do you?"
"Not for a
moment," I declared, and was surprised to see her look pleased.
She was an aristocrat
to the tips of her fingers; she really didn't care for anybody. She had passed
through the Empire, she had lived through a siege, had rubbed shoulders with
the Commune, had seen everything, no doubt, of what men are capable in the
pursuit of their desires or in the extremity of their distress, for love, for
money, and even for honour; and in her precarious connection with the very
highest spheres she had kept her own honourability unscathed while she had lost
all her prejudices. She was above all that. Perhaps "the world" was
the only thing that could have the slightest checking influence; but when I
ventured to say something about the view it might take of such an alliance she
looked at me for a moment with visible surprise.
"My dear Monsieur
George, I have lived in the great world all my life. It's the best that there
is, but that's only because there is nothing merely decent anywhere. It will
accept anything, forgive anything, forget anything in a few days. And after all
who will he be marrying? A charming, clever, rich and altogether uncommon
woman. What did the world hear of her? Nothing. The little it saw of her was in
the Bois for a few hours every year, riding by the side of a man of unique
distinction and of exclusive tastes, devoted to the cult of æsthetic
impressions; a man of whom, as far as aspect, manner, and behaviour goes, she
might have been the daughter. I have seen her myself. I went on purpose. I was
immensely struck. I was even moved. Yes. She might have been ---except for that
something radiant in her that marked her apart from all the other daughters of
men. The few remarkable personalities that count in society and who were
admitted into Henry Allègre's Pavilion treated her with punctilious reserve. I
know that, I have made enquiries. I know she sat there amongst them like a
marvellous child, and for the rest what can they say about her? That when
abandoned to herself by the death of Allègre she has made a mistake? I think
that any woman ought to be allowed one mistake in her life. The worst they can
say of her is that she discovered it, that she had sent away a man in love
directly she found out that his love was not worth having; that she had told
him to go and look for his crown, and that, after dismissing him, she had
remained generously faithful to his cause, in her person and fortune. And this,
you will allow, is rather uncommon upon the whole."
"You make her out
very magnificent," I murmured, looking down upon the floor.
"Isn't she?"
exclaimed the aristocratic Mrs. Blunt, with an almost youthful ingenuousness,
and in those black eyes which looked at me so calmly there was a flash of the
Southern beauty, still naive and romantic, as if altogether untouched by
experience. "I don't think there is a single grain of vulgarity in all her
enchanting person. Neither is there in my son. I suppose you won't deny that he
is uncommon." She paused.
"Absolutely,"
I said in a perfectly conventional tone. I was now on my mettle that she should
not discover what there was humanly common in my nature. She took my answer at
her own valuation and was satisfied.
"They can't fail
to understand each other on the very highest level of idealistic perceptions.
Can you imagine my John thrown away on some enamoured white goose out of a
stuffy old salon? Why, she couldn't even begin to understand what he feels or
what he needs."
"Yes," I said
impenetrably, "he is not easy to understand."
"I have reason to
think," she said with a suppressed smile, "that he has a certain
power over women. Of course I don't know anything about his intimate life but a
whisper or two have reached me, like that, floating in the air, and I could
hardly suppose that he would find an exceptional resistance in that quarter of
all others. But I should like to know the exact degree."
I disregarded an
annoying tendency to feel dizzy that came over me and was very careful in
managing my voice.
"May I ask,
Madame, why you are telling me all this?"
"For two
reasons," she condescended graciously. "First of all because Mr.
Mills told me that you were much more mature than one would expect. In fact you
look much younger than I was prepared for."
"Madame," I
interrupted her, "I may have a certain capacity for action and for
responsibility, but as to the regions into which this very unexpected
conversation has taken me I am a great novice. They are outside my interest. I
have had no experience."
"Don't make
yourself out so hopeless," she said in a spoilt-beauty tone. "You
have your intuitions. At any rate you have a pair of eyes. You are everlastingly
over there, so I understand. Surely you have seen how far they are . . ."
I interrupted again and
this time bitterly, but always in a tone of polite enquiry:
"You think her
facile, Madame?"
She looked offended.
"I think her most fastidious. It is my son who is in question here."
And I understood then
that she looked on her son as irresistible. For my part I was just beginning to
think that it would be impossible for me to wait for his return. I figured him
to myself lying dressed on his bed sleeping like a stone. But there was no
denying that the mother was holding me with an awful, tortured interest. Twice
Therese had opened the door, had put her small head in and drawn it back like a
tortoise. But for some time I had lost the sense of us two being quite alone in
the studio. I had perceived the familiar dummy in its corner but it lay now on
the floor as if Therese had knocked it down angrily with a broom for a heathen
idol. It lay there prostrate, handless, without its head, pathetic, like the
mangled victim of a crime.
"John is
fastidious, too," began Mrs. Blunt again, "Of course you wouldn't
suppose anything vulgar in his resistances to a very real sentiment. One has
got to understand his psychology. He can't leave himself in peace. He is
exquisitely absurd."
I recognized the
phrase. Mother and son talked of each other in identical terms. But perhaps
"exquisitely absurd" was the Blunt family saying? There are such
sayings in families and generally there is some truth in them. Perhaps this old
woman was simply absurd. She continued:
"We had a most
painful discussion all this morning. He is angry with me for suggesting the
very thing his whole being desires. I don't feel guilty. It's he who is
tormenting himself with his infinite scrupulosity."
"Ah," I said,
looking at the mangled dummy like the model of some atrocious murder. "Ah,
the fortune. But that can be left alone."
"What nonsense!
How is it possible? It isn't contained in a bag, you can't throw it into the
sea. And moreover, it isn't her fault. I am astonished that you should have
thought of that vulgar hypocrisy. No, it isn't her fortune that checks my son;
it's something much more subtle. Not so much her history as her position. He is
absurd. It isn't what has happened in her life. It's her very freedom that
makes him torment himself and her, too---as far as I can understand."
I suppressed a groan
and said to myself that I must really get away from there.
Mrs. Blunt was fairly
launched now.
"For all his
superiority he is a man of the world and shares to a certain extent its current
opinions. He has no power over her. She intimidates him. He wishes he had never
set eyes on her. Once or twice this morning he looked at me as if he could find
it in his heart to hate his old mother. There is no doubt about it---he loves
her, Monsieur George. He loves her, this poor, luck-less, perfect homme du
monde."
The silence lasted for
some time and then I heard a murmur: "It's a matter of the utmost delicacy
between two beings so sensitive, so proud. It has to be managed."
I found myself suddenly
on my feet and saying with the utmost politeness that I had to beg her permission
to leave her alone as I had an engagement; but she motioned me simply to sit
down---and I sat down again.
"I told you I had
a request to make," she said. "I have understood from Mr. Mills that
you have been to the West Indies, that you have some interests there."
I was astounded.
"Interests! I certainly have been there," I said, "but . .
."
She caught me up.
"Then why not go there again? I am speaking to you frankly because . .
."
"But, Madame, I am
engaged in this affair with Doña Rita, even if I had any interests elsewhere. I
won't tell you about the importance of my work. I didn't suspect it but you
brought the news of it to me, and so I needn't point it out to you."
And now we were frankly
arguing with each other.
"But where will it
lead you in the end? You have all your life before you, all your plans,
prospects, perhaps dreams, at any rate your own tastes and all your life-time
before you. And would you sacrifice all this to---the Pretender? A mere figure
for the front page of illustrated papers."
"I never think of
him," I said curtly, "but I suppose Doña Rita's feelings, instincts,
call it what you like---or only her chivalrous fidelity to her
mistakes------"
"Doña Rita's
presence here in this town, her withdrawal from the possible complications of
her life in Paris has produced an excellent effect on my son. It simplifies
infinite difficulties, I mean moral as well as material. It's extremely to the
advantage of her dignity, of her future, and of her peace of mind. But I am
thinking, of course, mainly of my son. He is most exacting."
I felt extremely sick
at heart. "And so I am to drop everything and vanish," I said, rising
from my chair again. And this time Mrs. Blunt got up, too, with a lofty and
inflexible manner but she didn't dismiss me yet.
"Yes," she
said distinctly. "All this, my dear Monsieur George, is such an accident.
What have you got to do here? You look to me like somebody who would find
adventures wherever he went as interesting and perhaps less dangerous than this
one."
She slurred over the
word dangerous but I picked it up.
"What do you know
of its dangers, Madame, may I ask?" But she did not condescend to hear.
"And then you,
too, have your chivalrous feelings," she went on, unswerving, distinct,
and tranquil. "You are not absurd. But my son is. He would shut her up in
a convent for a time if he could."
"He isn't the only
one," I muttered.
"Indeed!" she
was startled, then lower, "Yes. That woman must be the centre of all sorts
of passions," she mused audibly. "But what have you got to do with
all this? It's nothing to you."
She waited for me to
speak.
"Exactly,
Madame," I said, "and therefore I don't see why I should concern
myself in all this one way or another."
"No," she
assented with a weary air, "except that you might ask yourself what is the
good of tormenting a man of noble feelings, however absurd. His Southern blood
makes him very violent sometimes. I fear------" And then for the first
time during this conversation, for the first time since I left Doña Rita the
day before, for the first time I laughed.
"Do you mean to
hint, Madame, that Southern gentlemen are dead shots? I am aware of that---from
novels."
I spoke looking her
straight in the face and I made that exquisite, aristocratic old woman
positively blink by my directness. There was a faint flush on her delicate old
cheeks but she didn't move a muscle of her face. I made her a most respectful
bow and went out of the studio.
Through the great
arched window of the hall I saw the hotel brougham waiting at the door. On
passing the door of the front room (it was originally meant for a drawing-room
but a bed for Blunt was put in there) I banged with my fist on the panel and
shouted: "I am obliged to go out. Your mother's carriage is at the
door." I didn't think he was asleep. My view now was that he was aware
beforehand of the subject of the conversation, and if so I did not wish to
appear as if I had slunk away from him after the interview. But I didn't
stop---I didn't want to see him---and before he could answer I was already half
way up the stairs running noiselessly up the thick carpet which also covered
the floor of the landing. Therefore opening the door of my sitting-room quickly
I caught by surprise the person who was in there watching the street half
concealed by the window curtain. It was a woman. A totally unexpected woman. A
perfect stranger. She came away quickly to meet me. Her face was veiled and she
was dressed in a dark walking costume and a very simple form of hat. She
murmured: "I had an idea that Monsieur was in the house," raising a
gloved hand to lift her veil. It was Rose and she gave me a shock. I had never
seen her before but with her little black silk apron and a white cap with
ribbons on her head. This outdoor dress was like a disguise. I asked anxiously:
"What has happened
to Madame?"
"Nothing. I have a
letter," she murmured, and I saw it appear between the fingers of her
extended hand, in a very white envelope which I tore open impatiently. It
consisted of a few lines only. It began abruptly:
"If you are gone
to sea then I can't forgive you for not sending the usual word at the last
moment. If you are not gone why don't you come? Why did you leave me yesterday?
You leave me crying---I who haven't cried for years and years, and you haven't
the sense to come back within the hour, within twenty hours! This conduct is
idiotic"---and a sprawling signature of the four magic letters at the
bottom.
While I was putting the
letter in my pocket the girl said in an earnest undertone: "I don't like
to leave Madame by herself for any length of time."
"How long have you
been in my room?" I asked.
"The time seemed
long. I hope Monsieur won't mind the liberty. I sat for a little in the hall
but then it struck me I might be seen. In fact, Madame told me not to be seen
if I could help it."
"Why did she tell
you that?"
"I permitted
myself to suggest that to Madame. It might have given a false impression.
Madame is frank and open like the day but it won't do with everybody. There are
people who would put a wrong construction on anything. Madame's sister told me
Monsieur was out."
"And you didn't
believe her?"
"Non, Monsieur. I
have lived with Madame's sister for nearly a week when she first came into this
house. She wanted me to leave the message, but I said I would wait a little.
Then I sat down in the big porter's chair in the hall and after a while,
everything being very quiet, I stole up here. I know the disposition of the
apartments. I reckoned Madame's sister would think that got tired of waiting
and let myself out."
"And you have been
amusing yourself watching the street ever since?"
"The time seemed
long," she answered evasively. "An empty coupé came to the door about
an hour ago and it's still waiting," she added, looking at me
inquisitively. "It seems strange."
"There are some
dancing girls staying in the house," I said negligently. "Did you
leave Madame alone?"
"There's the
gardener and his wife in the house."
"Those people keep
at the back. Is Madame alone? That's what I want to know."
"Monsieur forgets
that I have been three hours away but I assure Monsieur that here in this town
it's perfectly safe for Madame to be alone."
"And wouldn't it be
anywhere else? It's the first I hear of it."
"In Paris, in our
apartments in the hotel, it's all right, too; but in the Pavilion, for
instance, I wouldn't leave Madame by herself, not for half an hour."
"What is there in
the Pavilion?" I asked.
"It's a sort of
feeling I have," she murmured reluctantly. . . ." Oh! There's that
coupé going away."
She made a movement
towards the window but checked herself. I hadn't moved. The rattle of wheels on
the cobble-stones died out almost at once.
"Will Monsieur
write an answer?" Rose suggested after a short silence.
"Hardly worth
while," I said. "I will be there very soon after you. Meantime,
please tell Madame from me that I am not anxious to see any more tears. Tell
her this just like that, you understand. I will take the risk of not being
received."
She dropped her eyes,
said: "Oui, Monsieur," and at my suggestion waited, holding the door
of the room half open, till I went downstairs to see the road clear.
It was a kind of
deaf-and-dumb house. The black-and-white hall was empty and everything was
perfectly still. Blunt himself had no doubt gone away with his mother in the
brougham, but as to the others, the dancing girls, Therese, or anybody else
that its walls may have contained, they might have been all murdering each
other in perfect assurance that the house would not betray them by indulging in
any unseemly murmurs. I emitted a low whistle which didn't seem to travel in
that peculiar atmosphere more than two feet away from my lips, but all the same
Rose came tripping down the stairs at once. With just a nod to my whisper:
"Take a fiacre," she glided out and I shut the door noiselessly
behind her.
The next time I saw her
she was opening the door of the house on the Prado to me, with her cap and the
little black silk apron on, and with that marked personality of her own, which
had been concealed so perfectly in the dowdy walking dress, very much to the
fore.
"I have given
Madame the message," she said in her contained voice, swinging the door
wide open. Then after relieving me of my hat and coat she announced me with the
simple words: "Voilà Monsieur," and hurried away. Directly I appeared
Doña Rita, away there on the couch, passed the tips of her fingers over her
eyes and holding her hands up palms outwards on each side of her head, shouted
to me down the whole length of the room: "The dry season has set in."
I glanced at the pink tips of her fingers perfunctorily and then drew back. She
let her hands fall negligently as if she had no use for them any more and put
on a serious expression.
"So it
seems," I said, sitting down opposite her. "For how long, I
wonder."
"For years and
years. One gets so little encouragement. First you bolt away from my tears,
then you send an impertinent message, and then when you come at last you
pretend to behave respectfully, though you don't know how to do it. You should
sit much nearer the edge of the chair and hold yourself very stiff, and make it
quite clear that you don't know what to do with your hands."
All this in a
fascinating voice with a ripple of badinage that seemed to play upon the sober
surface of her thoughts. Then seeing that I did not answer she altered the note
a bit.
"Amigo
George," she said, "I take the trouble to send for you and here I am
before you, talking to you and you say nothing."
"What am I to
say?"
"How can I tell?
You might say a thousand things. You might, for instance, tell me that you were
sorry for my tears."
"I might also tell
you a thousand lies. What do I know about your tears? I am not a susceptible
idiot. It all depends upon the cause. There are tears of quiet happiness.
Peeling onions also will bring tears."
"Oh, you are not
susceptible," she flew out at me. "But you are an idiot all the
same."
"Is it to tell me
this that you have written to me to come?" I asked with a certain
animation.
"Yes. And if you
had as much sense as the talking parrot I owned once you would have read
between the lines that all I wanted you here for was to tell you what I think
of you."
"Well, tell me
what you think of me."
"I would in a
moment if I could be half as impertinent as you are."
"What unexpected
modesty," I said.
"These, I suppose,
are your sea manners."
"I wouldn't put up
with half that nonsense from anybody at sea. Don't you remember you told me
yourself to go away? What was I to do?"
"How stupid you
are. I don't mean that you pretend. You really are. Do you understand what I
say? I will spell it for you. S-t-u-p-i-d. Ah, now I feel better. Oh, amigo
George, my dear fellow-conspirator for the king--- the king. Such a king! Vive
le Roi! Come, why don't you shout Vive le Roi, too?"
"I am not your
parrot," I said.
"No, he never
sulked. He was a charming, good-mannered bird, accustomed to the best society,
whereas you, I suppose, are nothing but a heartless vagabond like myself."
"I daresay you
are, but I suppose nobody had the insolence to tell you that to your
face."
"Well, very
nearly. It was what it amounted to. I am not stupid. There is no need to spell
out simple words for me. It just came out. Don Juan struggled desperately to
keep the truth in. It was most pathetic. And yet he couldn't help himself. He
talked very much like a parrot."
"Of the best
society," I suggested.
"Yes, the most
honourable of parrots. I don't like parrot-talk. It sounds so uncanny. Had I
lived in the Middle Ages I am certain I would have believed that a talking bird
must be possessed by the devil. I am sure Therese would believe that now. My
own sister! She would cross herself many times and simply quake with
terror."
"But you were not
terrified," I said. "May I ask when that interesting communication
took place? "
"Yesterday, just
before you blundered in here of all days in the year. I was sorry for
him."
"Why tell me this?
I couldn't help noticing it. I regretted I hadn't my umbrella with me."
"Those unforgiven
tears! Oh, you simple soul! Don't you know that people never cry for anybody
but themselves? . . . Amigo George, tell me---what are we doing in this
world?"
"Do you mean all
the people, everybody?"
"No, only people
like you and me. Simple people, in this world which is eaten up with
charlatanism of all sorts so that even we, the simple, don't know any longer
how to trust each other."
"Don't we? Then
why don't you trust him? You are dying to do so, don't you know? "
She dropped her chin on
her breast and from under her straight eyebrows the deep blue eyes remained
fixed on me, impersonally, as if without thought.
"What have you
been doing since you left me yesterday?" she asked.
"The first thing I
remember I abused your sister horribly this morning."
"And how did she
take it?"
"Like a warm
shower in spring. She drank it all in and unfolded her petals."
"What poetical
expressions he uses! That girl is more perverted than one would think possible,
considering what she is and whence she came. It's true that I, too, come from
the same spot."
"She is slightly
crazy. I am a great favourite with her. I don't say this to boast."
"It must be very
comforting."
"Yes, it has
cheered me immensely. Then after a morning of delightful musings on one thing
and another I went to lunch with a charming lady and spent most of the
afternoon talking with her."
Doña Rita raised her
head.
"A lady! Women
seem such mysterious creatures to me, I don't know them, Did you abuse her? Did
she ---how did you say that?---unfold her petals, too? Was she really and truly
. . . ?"
"She is simply
perfection in her way and the conversation was by no means banal. I fancy that
if your late parrot had heard it, he would have fallen off his perch. For after
all, in that Allègre Pavilion, my dear Rita, you were but a crowd of glorified
bourgeois."
She was beautifully
animated now. In her motionless blue eyes like melted sapphires, around those
red lips that almost without moving could breathe enchanting sounds into the
world, there was a play of light, that mysterious ripple of gaiety that seemed
always to run and faintly quiver under her skin even in her gravest moods; just
as in her rare moments of gaiety its warmth and radiance seemed to come to one
through infinite sadness, like the sunlight of our life hiding the invincible
darkness in which the universe must work out its impenetrable destiny.
"Now I think of
it! . . . Perhaps that's the reason I never could feel perfectly serious while they
were demolishing the world about my ears. I fancy now that I could tell
beforehand what each of them was going to say. They were repeating the same
words over and over again, those great clever men, very much like parrots who
also seem to know what they say. That doesn't apply to the master of the house,
who never talked much. he sat there mostly silent and looming up three sizes
bigger than any of them."
"The ruler of the
aviary," I muttered viciously.
"It annoys you
that I should talk of that tine?" she asked in a tender voice. "Well,
I won't, except for once to say that you must not make a mistake: in that
aviary he was the man. I know because he used to talk to me afterwards
sometimes. Strange! For six years he seemed to carry all the world and me with
it in his hand. . . ."
"He dominates you
yet," I shouted.
She shook her head
innocently as a child would do.
"No, no. You
brought him into the conversation yourself. You think of him much more than I
do." Her voice drooped sadly to a hopeless note. "I hardly ever do.
He is not the sort of person to merely flit through one's mind and so I have no
time. Look. I had eleven letters this morning and there were also five
telegrams before midday, which have tangled up everything. I am quite frightened."
And she explained to me
that one of them---the long one on the top of the pile, on the table over
there--- seemed to contain ugly inferences directed at herself in a menacing
way. She begged me to read it and see what I could make of it.
I knew enough of the
general situation to see at a glance that she had misunderstood it thoroughly
and even amazingly. I proved it to her very quickly. But her mistake was so
ingenious in its wrongheadedness and arose so obviously from the distraction of
an acute mind, that I couldn't help looking at her admiringly.
"Rita," I
said, "you are a marvellous idiot."
"Am I?
Imbecile," she retorted with an enchanting smile of relief. "But
perhaps it only seems so to you in contrast with the lady so perfect in her
way. What is her way? "
"Her way, I should
say, lies somewhere between her sixtieth and seventieth year, and I have walked
tête-à-tête with her for some little distance this afternoon."
"Heavens,"
she whispered, thunderstruck. "And meantime I had the son here. He arrived
about five minutes after Rose left with that note for you," she went on in
a tone of awe. "As matter of fact, Rose saw him across the street but she
thought she had better go on to you."
"I am furious with
myself for not having guessed that much," I said bitterly. "I suppose
you got him out of the house about five minutes after you heard I was coming
here. Rose ought to have turned back when she saw him on his way to cheer your
solitude. That girl is stupid after all, though she has got a certain amount of
low cunning which no doubt is very useful at times."
"I forbid you to
talk like this about Rose. I won't have it. Rose is not to be abused before
me."
"I only mean to
say that she failed in this instance to read your mind, that's all."
"This is, without
exception, the most unintelligent thing you have said ever since I have known
you. You may understand a lot about running contraband and about the minds of a
certain class of people, but as to Rose's mind let me tell you that in comparison
with hers yours is absolutely infantile, my adventurous friend. It would be
contemptible if it weren't so---what shall I call it?---babyish. You ought to
be slapped and put to bed." There was an extraordinary earnestness in her
tone and when she ceased I listened yet to the seductive inflexions of her
voice, that no matter in what mood she spoke seemed only fit for tenderness and
love. And I thought suddenly of Azzolati being ordered to take himself off from
her presence for ever, in that voice the very anger of which seemed to twine
itself gently round one's heart. No wonder the poor wretch could not forget the
scene and couldn't restrain his tears on the plain of Rambouillet. My moods of
resentment against Rita, hot as they were, had no more duration than a blaze of
straw. So I only said:
"Much you know
about the management of children."
The corners of her lips
stirred quaintly; her animosity, especially when provoked by a personal attack
upon herself, was always tinged by a sort of wistful humour of the most
disarming kind.
"Come, amigo
George, let us leave poor Rose alone. You had better tell me what you heard
from the lips of the charming old lady. Perfection, isn't she? I have never
seen her in my life, though she says she has seen me several times. But she has
written to me on three separate occasions and every time I answered her as if I
were writing to a queen. Amigo George, how does one write to a queen? How
should a goatherd that could have been mistress of a king, how should she write
to an old queen from very far away; from over the sea?"
"I will ask you as
I have asked the old queen: why do you tell me all this, Doña Rita?"
"To discover
what's in your mind," she said, a little impatiently.
"If you don't know
that yet!" I exclaimed under my breath.
"No, not in your
mind. Can any one ever tell what is in a man's mind? But I see you won't
tell."
"What's the good?
You have written to her before, I understand. Du you think of continuing the
correspondence?"
"Who knows?"
she said in a profound tone. "She is the only woman that ever wrote to me.
I returned her three letters to her with my last answer, explaining humbly that
I preferred her to burn them herself. And I thought that would be the end of
it. But an occasion may still arise."
"Oh, if an
occasion arises," I said, trying to control my rage, "you may be able
to begin your letter by the words `Chère Maman.' "
The cigarette box,
which she had taken up without removing her eyes from me, flew out of her hand
and opening in mid-air scattered cigarettes for quite a surprising distance all
over the room. I got up at once and wandered off picking them up industriously.
Doña Rita's voice behind me said indifferently:
"Don't trouble, I
will ring for Rose."
"No need," I
growled, without turning my head, "I can find my hat in the hall by
myself, after I've finished picking up . . ."
"Bear!"
I returned with the box
and placed it on the divan near her. She sat cross-legged, leaning back on her
arms, in the blue shimmer of her embroidered robe and with the tawny halo of
her unruly hair about her face which she raised to mine with an air of
resignation.
"George, my
friend," she said, "we have no manners."
"You would never
have made a career at court, Doña Rita," I observed. "You are too
impulsive."
"This is not bad
manners, that's sheer insolence. This has happened to you before. If it happens
again, as I can't be expected to wrestle with a savage and desperate smuggler
single-handed, I will go upstairs and lock myself in my room till you leave the
house. Why did you say this to me?"
"Oh, just for
nothing, out of a full heart."
"If your heart is
full of things like that, then my dear friend, you had better take it out and
give it to the crows. No! you said that for the pleasure of appearing terrible.
And you see you are not terrible at all, you are rather amusing. Go on,
continue to be amusing. Tell me something of what you heard from the lips of
that aristocratic old lady who thinks that all men are equal and entitled to
the pursuit of happiness."
"I hardly remember
now. I heard something about the unworthiness of certain white geese out of
stuffy drawing-rooms. It sounds mad, but the lady knows exactly what she wants.
I also heard your praises sung. I sat there like a fool not knowing what to
say."
"Why? You might
have joined in the singing."
"I didn't feel in
the humour, because, don't you see, I had been incidentally given to understand
that I was an insignificant and superfluous person who had better get out of
the way of serious people."
"Ah, par
exemple!"
"In a sense, you
know, it was flattering; but for the moment it made me feel as if I had been
offered a pot of mustard to sniff."
She nodded with an
amused air of understanding and I could see that she was interested.
"Anything more?" she asked, with a flash of radiant eagerness in all
her person and bending slightly forward towards me.
"Oh, it's hardly
worth mentioning. It was a sort of threat wrapped up, I believe, in genuine
anxiety as to what might happen to my youthful insignificance. If I hadn't been
rather on the alert just then I wouldn't even have perceived the meaning. But
really an allusion to `hot Southern blood' could have only one meaning. Of
course I laughed at it, but only `pour l'honneur' and to show I understood
perfectly. In reality it left me completely indifferent."
Doña Rita looked very
serious for a minute.
"Indifferent to
the whole conversation?"
I looked at her
angrily.
"To the whole . .
. You see I got up rather out of sorts this morning. Unrefreshed, you know. As
if tired of life."
The liquid blue in her
eyes remained directed at me without any expression except that of its usual
mysterious immobility, but all her face took on a sad and thoughtful cast. Then
as if she had made up her mind under the pressure of necessity:
"Listen,
amigo," she said, "I have suffered domination and it didn't crush me
because I have been strong enough to live with it; I have known caprice, you
may call it folly if you like, and it left me unharmed because I was great
enough not to be captured by anything that wasn't really worthy of me. My dear,
it went down like a house of cards before my breath. There is something in me
that will not be dazzled by any sort of prestige in this world, worthy or
unworthy. I am telling you this because you are younger than myself."
"If you want me to
say that there is nothing petty or mean about you, Doña Rita, then I do say
it."
Sbe nodded at me with
an air of accepting the rendered justice and went on with the utmost
simplicity.
"And what is it
that is coming to me now with all the airs of virtue? All the lawful
conventions are coming to me, all the glamours of respectability! And nobody
can say that I have made as much as the slightest little sign to them. Not so
much as lifting my little finger. I suppose you know that?"
"I don't know. I
do not doubt your sincerity in anything you say. I am ready to believe. You are
not one of those who have to work."
"Have to
work---what do you mean?"
"It's a phrase I
have heard. What I meant was that it isn't necessary for you to make any
signs."
She seemed to meditate
over this for a while.
"Don't be so sure
of that," she said, with a flash of mischief, which made her voice sound
more melancholy than before. "I am not so sure myself," she continued
with a curious, vanishing, intonation of despair. "I don't know the truth
about myself because I never had an opportunity to compare myself to anything
in the world. I have been offered mock adulation, treated with mock reserve or
with mock devotion, I have been fawned upon with an appalling earnestness of
purpose, I can tell you; but these later honours, my dear, came to me in the
shape of a very loyal and very scrupulous gentleman. For he is all that. And as
a matter of fact I was touched."
"I know. Even to
tears," I said provokingly. But she wasn't provoked, she only shook her
head in negation (which was absurd) and pursued the trend of her spoken
thoughts.
"That was
yesterday," she said. "And yesterday he was extremely correct and
very full of extreme self-esteem which expressed itself in the exaggerated
delicacy with which he talked. But I know him in all his moods. I have known
him even playful. I didn't listen to him. I was thinking of something else. Of
things that were neither correct nor playful and that had to be looked at
steadily with all the best that was in me. And that was why, in the end---I
cried---yesterday."
"I saw it
yesterday and I had the weakness of being moved by those tears for a
time."
"If you want to
make me cry again I warn you you won't succeed."
"No, I know. He
has been here to-day and the dry season has set in."
"Yes, he has been
here. I assure you it was perfectly unexpected. Yesterday he was railing at the
world at large, at me who certainly have not made it, at himself and even at
his mother. All this rather in parrot language, in the words of tradition and
morality as understood by the members of that exclusive club to which he
belongs. And yet when I thought that all this, those poor hackneyed words,
expressed a sincere passion I could have found in my heart to be sorry for him.
But he ended by telling me that one couldn't believe a single word I said, or
something like that. You were here then, you heard it yourself."
"And it cut you to
the quick," I said. "It made you depart from your dignity to the
point of weeping on any shoulder that happened to be there. And considering
that it was some more parrot talk after all (men have been saying that sort of
thing to women from the beginning of the world) this sensibility seems to me
childish."
"What
perspicacity," she observed, with an indulgent, mocking smile, then
changed her tone. "Therefore he wasn't expected to-day when he turned up,
whereas you, who were expected, remained subject to the charms of conversation
in that studio. It never occurred to you . . . did it? No! What had become of
your perspicacity?"
"I tell you I was
weary of life," I said in a passion.
She had another faint
smile of a fugitive and unrelated kind as if she had been thinking of far-off
things, then roused herself to grave animation.
"He came in full
of smiling playfulness. How well I know that mood! Such self-command has its
beauty; but it's no great help for a man with such fateful eyes. I could see he
was moved in his correct, restrained way, and in his own way, too, he tried to
move me with something that would be very simple. He told me that ever since we
became friends, we two, he had not an hour of continuous sleep, unless perhaps
when coming back dead-tired from outpost duty, and that he longed to get back
to it and yet hadn't the courage to tear himself away from here. He was as
simple as that. He's a très galant homme of absolute probity, even with
himself. I said to him: The trouble is, Don Juan, that it isn't love but
mistrust that keeps you in torment. I might have said jealousy, but I didn't
like to use that word. A parrot would have added that I had given him no right
to be jealous. But I am no parrot. I recognized the rights of his passion which
I could very well see. He is jealous. He is not jealous of my past or of the
future; but he is jealously mistrustful ofme, of what I am, of my very soul. He
believes in a soul in the same way Therese does, as something that can be
touched with grace or go to perdition; and he doesn't want to be damned with me
before his own judgment seat. He is a most noble and loyal gentleman, but I
have my own Basque peasant soul and don't want to think that every time he goes
away from my feet---yes, mon cher, on this carpet, look for the marks of
scorching---that he goes away feeling tempted to brush the dust off his moral
sleeve. That! Never!"
With brusque movements
she took a cigarette out of the box, held it in her fingers for a moment, then
dropped it unconsciously.
"And then, I don't
love him," she uttered slowly as if speaking to herself and at the same
time watching the very quality of that thought. "I never did. At first he
fascinated me with his fatal aspect and his cold society smiles. But I have
looked into those eyes too often. There are too many disdains in this
aristocratic republican without a home. His fate may be cruel, but it will
always be commonplace. While he sat there trying in a worldly tone to explain
to me the problems, the scruples, of his suffering honour, I could see right
into his heart and I was sorry for him. I was sorry enough for him to feel that
if he had suddenly taken me by the throat and strangled me slowly, avec délices,
I could forgive him while I choked. How correct he was! But bitterness against
me peeped out of every second phrase. At last I raised my hand and said to him,
`Enough.' I believe he was shocked by my plebeian abruptness but he was too
polite to show it. His conventions will always stand in the way of his nature.
I told him that everything that had been said and done during the last seven or
eight months was inexplicable unless on the assumption that he was in love with
me,---and yet in everything there was an implication that he, couldn't forgive
me my very existence. I did ask him whether he didn't think that it was absurd
on his part . . . "
"Didn't you say
that it was exquisitely absurd?" I asked.
"Exquisitely! . .
." Doña Rita was surprised at my question. "No. Why should I say
that?"
"It would have
reconciled him to your abruptness. It's their family expression. It would have
cone with a familiar sound and would have been less offensive."
"Offensive,"
Doña Rita repeated earnestly. "I don't think he was offended; he suffered
in another way, but I didn't care for that. It was I that had become offended
in the end, without spite, you understand, but past bearing. I didn't spare
him. I told him plainly that to want a woman formed in mind and body, mistress
of herself, free in her choice, independent in her thoughts; to love her
apparently for what she is and at the same time to demand from her the candour
and the innocence that could be only a shocking pretence; to know her such as
life had made her and at the same time to despise her secretly for every touch
with which her life had fashioned her---that was neither generous nor high
minded; it was positively frantic. He got up and went away to lean against the
mantelpiece, there, on his elbow and with his head in his hand. You have no
idea of the charm and the distinction of his pose. I couldn't help admiring
him: the expression, the grace, the fatal suggestion of his immobility. Oh,
yes, I am sensible to æsthetic impressions, I have been educated to believe
that there is a soul in them."
With that enigmatic,
under the eyebrows glance fixed on me she laughed her deep contralto laugh
without mirth but also without irony, and profoundly moving by the were purity
of the sound.
"I suspect he was
never so disgusted and appalled in his life. His self-command is the most
admirable worldly thing I have ever seen. What made it beautiful was that one
could feel in it a tragic suggestion as in a great work of art."
She paused with an inscrutable
smile that a great painter might have put on the face of some symbolic figure
for the speculation and wonder of many generations. I said:
"I always thought
that love for you could work great wonders. And now I am certain."
"Are you trying to
be ironic?" she said sadly and very much as a child might have spoken.
"I don't
know," I answered in a tone of the same simplicity. "I find it very
difficult to be generous."
"I, too," she
said with a sort of funny eagerness. "I didn't treat him very generously.
Only I didn't say much more. I found I didn't care what I said---and it would
have been like throwing insults at a beautiful composition. He was well
inspired not to move. It has spared him some disagreeable truths and perhaps I
would even have said more than the truth. I am not fair. I am no more fair than
other people. I would have been harsh. My very admiration was making me more
angry. It's ridiculous to say of a man got up in correct tailor clothes, but
there was a funereal grace in his attitude so that he might have been
reproduced in marble on a monument to some woman in one of those atrocious
Campo Santos: the bourgeois conception of an aristocratic mourning lover. When
I came to that conclusion I became glad that I was angry or else I would have
laughed right out before him."
"I have heard a
Roman say once, a woman of the people---do you hear me, Doña Rita?---therefore
deserving your attention, that one should never laugh at love."
"My dear,"
she said gently, "I have been taught to laugh at most things by a man who
never laughed himself but it's true that he never spoke of love to me, love as
a subject that is. So perhaps . . . But why?"
"Because (but
maybe that old woman was crazy), because, she said, there was death in the
mockery of love."
Doña Rita moved
slightly her beautiful shoulders and went on:
"I am glad, then,
I didn't laugh. And I am also glad I said nothing more. I was feeling so little
generous that if I had known something then of his mother's allusion to `white
geese' I would have advised him to get one of them and lead it away on a
beautiful blue ribbon. Mrs. Blunt was wrong, you know, to be so scornful. A
white goose is exactly what her son wants. But look how badly the world is
arranged. Such white birds cannot be got for nothing and he has not enough
money even to buy a ribbon. Who knows! Maybe it was this which gave that tragic
quality to his pose by the mantelpiece over there. Yes, that was it. Though no
doubt I didn't see it then. As he didn't offer to move after I had done
speaking I became quite unaffectedly sorry and advised him very gently to
dismiss me from his mind definitely. He moved forward then and said to me in
his usual voice and with his usual smile that it would have been excellent
advice but unfortunately I was one of those women who can't be dismissed at
will. And as I shook my head he insisted rather darkly: `Oh, yes, Doña Rita, it
is so. Cherish no illusions about that fact.' It sounded so threatening that in
my surprise I didn't even acknowledge his parting bow. He went out of that
false situation like a wounded man retreating after a fight. No, I have nothing
to reproach myself with. I did nothing. I led him into nothing. Whatever
illusions have passed through my head I kept my distance, and he was so loyal
to what he seemed to think the redeeming proprieties of the situation that he
has gone from me for good without so much as kissing the tips of my fingers. He
must have felt like a man who had betrayed himself for nothing. It's horrible.
It's the fault of that enormous fortune of mine, and I wish with all my heart
that I could give it to him; for he couldn't help his hatred of the thing that
is: and as to his love, which is just as real, well---could I have rushed away
from him to shut myself up in a convent? Could I? After all I have a right to
my share of daylight.
I took my eyes from her
face and became aware that dusk was beginning to steal into the room. How
strange it seemed. Except for the glazed rotunda part its long walls, divided
into narrow panels separated by an order of flat pilasters, presented, depicted
on a black background and in vivid colours, slender women with butterfly wings
and lean youths with narrow birds' wings. The effect was supposed to be
Pompeiian and Rita and I had often laughed at the delirious fancy of some
enriched shopkeeper. But still it was a display of fancy, a sign of grace; but
at that moment these figures appeared to me weird and intrusive and strangely
alive in their attenuated grace of unearthly beings concealing a power to see
and hear.
Without words, without
gestures, Doña Rita was heard again. "It may have been as near coming to
pass as this." She showed me the breadth of her little finger nail.
"Yes, as near as that. Why? How? Just like that, for nothing. Because it
had come up. Because a wild notion had entered a practical old woman's head.
Yes. And the best of it is that I have nothing to complain of. Had I
surrendered I would have been perfectly safe with these two. It is they or
rather he who couldn't trust me, or rather that something which I express,
which I stand for. Mills would never tell me what it was. Perhaps he didn't
know exactly himself. He said it was something like genius. My genius! Oh, I am
not conscious of it, believe me, I am not conscious of it. But if I were I
wouldn't pluck it out and cast it away. I am ashamed of nothing, of nothing!
Don't be stupid enough to think that I have the slightest regret. There is no
regret. First of all because I am I---and then because . . . My dear, believe
me, I have had a horrible time of it myself lately."
This seemed to be the
last word. Outwardly quiet, all the time, it was only then that she became
composed enough to light an enormous cigarette of the same pattern as those
made specially for the king---por el Rey! After a time, tipping the ash into
the bowl on her left hand, she asked me in a friendly, almost tender, tone
"What are you
thinking of, amigo?"
"I was thinking of
your immense generosity. You want to give a crown to one man, a fortune to
another. That is very fine. But I suppose there is a limit to your generosity
somewhere."
"I don't see why
there should be any limit---to fine intentions! Yes, one would like to pay
ransom and be done with it all."
"That's the
feeling of a captive; and yet somehow I can't think of you as ever having been
anybody's captive."
"You do display
some wonderful insight sometimes. My dear, I begin to suspect that men are
rather conceited about their powers. They think they dominate us. Even exceptional
men will think that; men too great for mere vanity, men like Henry Allègre for
instance, who by his consistent and serene detachment was certainly fit to
dominate all sorts of people. Yet for the most part they can only do it because
women choose more or less consciously to let them do so. Henry Allègre, if any
man, might have been certain of his own power; and yet, look: I was a chit of a
girl, I was sitting with a book where I had no business to be, in his own
garden, when he suddenly came upon me, an ignorant girl of seventeen, a most
uninviting creature with a tousled head, in an old black frock and shabby
boots. I could have run away. I was perfectly capable of it. But I stayed
looking up at him and---in the end it was HE who went away and it was I who
stayed."
"Consciously?"
I murmured.
"Consciously? You
may just as well ask my shadow that lay so still by me on the young grass in
that morning sunshine. I never knew before how still I could keep. It wasn't
the stillness of terror. I remained, knowing perfectly well that if I ran he
was not the man to run after me. I remember perfectly his deep-toned, politely
indifferent `Restez donc.' He was mistaken. Already then I hadn't the slightest
intention to move. And if you ask me again how far conscious all this was the
nearest answer I can make you is this: that I remained on purpose, but I didn't
know for what purpose I remained. Really, that couldn't be expected. . . . Why
do you sigh like this? Would you have preferred me to be idiotically innocent
or abominably wise?"
"These are not the
questions that trouble me," I said. "If I sighed it is because I am
weary."
"And getting
stiff, too, I should say, in this Pompeiian armchair. You had better get out of
it and sit on this couch as you always used to do. That, at any rate, is not
Pompeiian. You have been growing of late extremely formal, I don't know why. If
it is a pose then for goodness' sake drop it. Are you going to model yourself
on Captain Blunt? You couldn't, you know. You are too young."
"I don't want to
model myself on anybody," I said. "And anyway Blunt is too romantic;
and, moreover, he has been and is yet in love with you---a thing that requires
some style, an attitude, something of which I am altogether incapable."
"You know it isn't
so stupid, this what you have just said. Yes, there is something in this."
"I am not
stupid," I protested, without much heat.
"Oh, yes, you are.
You don't know the world enough to judge. You don't know how wise men can be.
Owls are nothing to them. Why do you try to look like an owl? There are
thousands and thousands of them waiting for me outside the door: the staring,
hissing beasts. You don't know what a relief of mental ease and intimacy you
have been to me in the frankness of gestures and speeches and thoughts, sane or
insane, that we have been throwing at each other. I have known nothing of this
in my life but with you. There had always been some fear, some constraint,
lurking in the background behind everybody, everybody except you, my
friend."
"An unmannerly,
Arcadian state of affairs. I am glad you like it. Perhaps it's because you were
intelligent enough to perceive that I was not in love with you in any sort of
style."
"No, you were
always your own self, unwise and reckless and with something in it kindred to
mine, if I may say so without offence."
"You may say
anything without offence. But has it never occurred to your sagacity that I
just, simply, loved you?"
"Just---simply,"
she repeated in a wistful tone.
"You didn't want
to trouble your head about it, is that it?"
"My poor head.
From your tone one might think you yearned to cut it off. No, my dear, I have made
up my mind not to lose my head."
"You would be
astonished to know how little I care for your mind."
"Would I? Come and
sit on the couch all the same," she said after a moment of hesitation.
Then, as I did not move at once, she added with indifference: "You may sit
as far away as you like, it's big enough, goodness knows."
The light was ebbing
slowly out of the rotunda and to my bodily eyes she was beginning to grow
shadowy. I sat down on the couch and for a long time no word passed between us.
We made no movement. We did not even turn towards each other. All I was
conscious of was the softness of the seat which seemed somehow to cause a
relaxation of my stern mood, I won't say against my will but without any will
on my part. Another thing I was conscious of, strangely enough, was the
enormous brass bowl for cigarette ends. Quietly, with the least possible
action, Doña Rita moved it to the other side of her motionless person, Slowly,
the fantastic women with butterflies' wings and the slender-limbed youths with
the gorgeous pinions on their shoulders were vanishing into their black
backgrounds with an effect of silent discretion, leaving us to ourselves.
I felt suddenly
extremely exhausted, absolutely overcome with fatigue since I had moved; as if to
sit on that Pompeiian chair had been a task almost beyond human strength, a
sort of labour that must end in collapse. I fought against it for a moment and
then my resistance gave way. Not all at once but as if yielding to an
irresistible pressure (for I was not conscious of any irresistible attraction)
I found myself with my head resting, with a weight I felt must be crushing, on
Doña Rita's shoulder which yet did not give way, did not flinch at all. A faint
scent of violets filled the tragic emptiness of my head and it seemed
impossible to me that I should not cry from sheer weakness. But I remained
dry-eyed. I only felt myself slipping lower and lower and I caught her round
the waist clinging to her not from any intention but purely by instinct. All that
time she hadn't stirred. There was only the slight movement of her breathing
that showed her to be alive; and with closed eyes I imagined her to be lost in
thought, removed by an incredible meditation while I clung to her, to an
immense distance from the earth. The distance must have been immense because
the silence was so perfect, the feeling as if of eternal stillness. I had a
distinct impression of being in contact with an infinity that had the slightest
possible rise and fall, was pervaded by a warm, delicate scent of violets and
through which came a hand from somewhere to rest lightly on my head. Presently
my ear caught the faint and regular pulsation of her heart, firm and quick,
infinitely touching in its persistent mystery, disclosing itself into my very
ear---and my felicity became complete.
It was a dreamlike
state combined with a dreamlike sense of insecurity. Then in that warm and
scented infinity, or eternity, in which I rested lost in bliss but ready for
any catastrophe, I heard the distant, hardly audible, and fit to strike terror
into the heart, ringing of a bell. At this sound the greatness of spaces
departed. I felt the world close about me; the world of darkened walls, of very
deep grey dusk against the panes, and I asked in a pained voice:
"Why did you ring,
Rita?"
There was a bell rope
within reach of her hand. I had not felt her move, but she said very low:
"I rang for the
lights."
"You didn't want
the lights."
"It was
time," she whispered secretly.
Somewhere within the
house a door slammed. I got away from her feeling small and weak as if the best
part of me had been torn away and irretrievably lost. Rose must have been
somewhere near the door.
"It's
abominable," I murmured to the still, idol-like shadow on the couch.
The answer was a
hurried, nervous whisper: "I tell you it was time. I rang because I had no
strength to push you away."
I suffered a moment of
giddiness before the door opened, light streamed in, and Rose entered,
preceding a man in a green baize apron whom I had never seen, carrying on an
enormous tray three Argand lamps fitted into vases of Pompeiian form. Rose
distributed them over the room. In the flood of soft light the winged youths
and the butterfly women reappeared on the panels, affected, gorgeous, callously
unconscious of anything having happened during their absence. Rose attended to
the lamp on the nearest mantelpiece, then turned about and asked in a confident
undertone.
"Monsieur dîne?"
I had lost myself with
my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands, but I heard the words
distinctly. I heard also the silence which ensued. I sat up and took the
responsibility of the answer on myself.
"Impossible. I am
going to sea this evening."
This was perfectly true
only I had totally forgotten it till then. For the last two days my being was
no longer composed of memories but exclusively of sensations of the most
absorbing, disturbing, exhausting nature. I was like a man who has been
buffeted by the sea or by a mob till he loses all hold on the world in the
misery of his helplessness. But now I was recovering. And naturally the first
thing I remembered was the fact that I was going to sea.
"You have heard,
Rose," Doña Rita said at last with some impatience.
The girl waited a
moment longer before she said:
"Oh, yes! There is
a man waiting for Monsieur in the hall. A seaman."
It could be no one but
Dominic. It dawned upon me that since the evening of our return I had not been
near him or the ship, which was completely unusual, unheard of, and well
calculated to startle Dominic.
"I have seen him
before," continued Rose, "and as he told me he has been pursuing
Monsieur all the afternoon and didn't like to go away without seeing Monsieur
for a moment, I proposed to him to wait in the hall till Monsieur was at
liberty."
I said: "Very
well," and with a sudden resumption of her extremely busy,
not-a-moment-to-lose manner Rose departed from the room. I lingered in an
imaginary world full of tender light, of unheard-of colours, with a mad riot of
flowers and an inconceivable happiness under the sky arched above its yawning
precipices, while a feeling of awe enveloped me like its own proper atmosphere.
But everything vanished at the sound of Doña Rita's loud whisper full of
boundless dismay, such as to make one's hair stir on one's head.
"Mon Dieu! And
what is going to happen now?"
She got down from the
couch and walked to a window. When the lights had been brought into the room
all the panes had turned inky black; for the night had come and the garden was
full of tall bushes and trees screening off the gas lamps of the main alley of
the Prado. Whatever the question meant she was not likely to see an answer to
it outside. But her whisper had offended me, had hurt something infinitely
deep, infinitely subtle and infinitely clear-eyed in my nature. I said after
her from the couch on which I had remained, "Don't lose your composure.
You will always have some sort of bell at hand."
I saw her shrug her
uncovered shoulders impatiently. Her forehead was against the very blackness of
the panes; pulled upward from the beautiful, strong nape of her neck, the
twisted mass of her tawny hair was held high upon her head by the arrow of
gold.
"You set up for
being unforgiving," she said without anger.
I sprang to my feet
while she turned about and came towards me bravely, with a wistful smile on her
bold, adolescent face.
"It seems to
me," she went on in a voice like a wave of love itself, "that one
should try to understand before one sets up for being unforgiving. Forgiveness
is a very fine word. It is a fine invocation."
"There are other fine
words in the language such as fascination, fidelity, also frivolity; and as for
invocations there are plenty of them, too; for instance: alas, heaven help
me."
We stood very close
together, her narrow eyes were as enigmatic as ever, but that face, which, like
some ideal conception of art, was incapable of anything like untruth and
grimace, expressed by some mysterious means such a depth of infinite patience
that I felt profoundly ashamed of myself.
"This thing is
beyond words altogether," I said. "Beyond forgiveness, beyond
forgetting, beyond anger or jealousy. . . . There is nothing between us two
that could make us act together."
"Then we must fall
back perhaps on something within us, that---you admit it?---we have in
common."
"Don't be childish,"
I said. "You give one with a perpetual and intense freshness feelings and
sensations that are as old as the world itself, and you imagine that your
enchantment can be broken off anywhere, at any time! But it can't be broken.
And forgetfulness, like everything else, can only come from you. It's an
impossible situation to stand up against."
She listened with
slightly parted lips as if to catch some further resonances.
"There is a sort
of generous ardour about you," she said, "which I don't really understand.
No, I don't know it. Believe me, it is not of myself I am thinking. And
you---you are going out to-night to make another landing."
"Yes, it is a fact
that before many hours I will be sailing away from you to try my luck once
more."
"Your wonderful
luck," she breathed out.
"Oh, yes, I am
wonderfully lucky. Unless the luck really is yours---in having found somebody
like me, who cares at the same time so much and so little for what you have at
heart."
"What time will
you be leaving the harbour?" she asked.
"Some time between
midnight and daybreak. Our men may be a little late in joining, but certainly
we will be gone before the first streak of light."
"What
freedom!" she murmured enviously. "It's something I shall never know.
. . ."
"Freedom!" I
protested. "I am a slave to my word. There will be a string of carts and
mules on a certain part of the coast, and a most ruffianly lot of men, men you
understand, men with wives and children and sweethearts, who from the very
moment they start on a trip risk a bullet in the head at any moment, but who
have a perfect conviction that I will never fail them. That's my freedom. I
wonder what they would think if they knew of your existence."
"I don't
exist," she said.
"That's easy to
say. But I will go as if you didn't exist---yet only because you do exist. You
exist in me. I don't know where I end and you begin. You have got into my heart
and into my veins and into my brain."
"Take this fancy
out and trample it down in the dust," she said in a tone of timid
entreaty.
"Heroically,"
I suggested with the sarcasm of despair.
"Well, yes,
heroically," she said; and there passed between us dim smiles, I have no
doubt of the most touching imbecility on earth. We were standing by then in the
middle of the room with its vivid colours on a black background, with its
multitude of winged figures with pale limbs, with hair like halos or flames,
all strangely tense in their strained, decorative attitudes. Doña Rita made a
step towards me, and as I attempted to seize her hand she flung her arms round
my neck. I felt their strength drawing me towards her and by a sort of blind
and desperate effort I resisted. And all the time she was repeating with
nervous insistence:
"But it is true
that you will go. You will surely. Not because of those people but because of
me. You will go away because you feel you must."
With every word urging
me to get away, her clasp tightened, she hugged my head closer to her breast. I
submitted, knowing well that I could free myself by one more effort which it
was in my power to make. But before I made it, in a sort of desperation, I
pressed a long kiss into the hollow of her throat. And lo---there was no need
for any effort. With a stifled cry of surprise her arms fell off me as if she
had been shot. I must have been giddy, and perhaps we both were giddy, but the
next thing I knew there was a good foot of space between us in the peaceful
glow of the ground-glass globes, in the everlasting stillness of the winged
figures. Something in the quality of her exclamation, something utterly
unexpected, something I had never heard before, and also the way she was
looking at me with a sort of incredulous, concentrated attention, disconcerted
me exceedingly. I knew perfectly well what I had done and yet I felt that I
didn't understand what had happened. I became suddenly abashed and I muttered
that I had better go and dismiss that poor Dominic. She made no answer, gave no
sign. She stood there lost in a vision---or was it a sensation?--- of the most
absorbing kind. I hurried out into the hall, shamefaced, as if I were making my
escape while she wasn't looking. And yet I felt her looking fixedly at me, with
a sort of stupefaction on her features---in her whole attitude---as though she
had never even heard of such a thing as a kiss in her life.
A dim lamp (of
Pompeiian form) hanging on a long chain left the hall practically dark.
Dominic, advancing towards me from a distant corner, was but a little more
opaque shadow than the others. He had expected me on board every moment till
about three o'clock, but as I didn't turn up and gave no sign of life in any
other way he started on his hunt. He sought news of me from the
garĉons at the various cafés, from the cochers de fiacre in front of
the Exchange, from the tobacconist lady at the counter of the fashionable Débit
de Tabac, from the old man who sold papers outside the cercle, and from the
flower-girl at the door of the fashionable restaurant where I had my table.
That young woman, whose business name was Irma, had come on duty about mid-day.
She said to Dominic: "I think I've seen all his friends this morning but I
haven't seen him for a week. What has become of him?"
"That's exactly
what I want to know," Dominic replied in a fury and then went back to the
harbour on the chance that I might have called either on board or at Madame Léonore's
café.
I expressed to him my
surprise that he should fuss about me like an old hen over a chick. It wasn't
like him at all. And he said that "en effet" it was Madame Léonore
who wouldn't give him any peace He hoped I wouldn't mind, it was best to humour
women in little things; and so he started off again, made straight for the
street of the Consuls, was told there that I wasn't at home but the woman of
the house looked so funny that he didn't know what to make of it. Therefore,
after some hesitation, he took the liberty to inquire at this house, too, and
being told that I couldn't be disturbed, had made up his mind not to go on board
without actually setting his eyes on me and hearing from my own lips that
nothing was changed as to sailing orders.
"There is nothing
changed, Dominic," I said.
"No change of any
sort?" he insisted, looking very sombre and speaking gloomily from under
his black moustaches in the dim glow of the alabaster lamp hanging above his
head. He peered at me in an extraordinary manner as if he wanted to make sure
that I had all my limbs about me. I asked him to call for my bag at the other
house, on his way to the harbour, and he departed reassured, not, however,
without remarking ironically that ever since she saw that American cavalier
Madame Léonore was not easy in her mind about me.
As I stood alone in the
hall, without a sound of any sort, Rose appeared before me.
"Monsieur will
dine after all," she whispered calmly.
"My good girl, I
am going to sea to-night."
"What am I going
to do with Madame?" she murmured to herself. "She will insist on
returning to Paris."
"Oh, have you
heard of it?"
"I never get more
than two hours' notice," she said. "But I know how it will be,"
her voice lost its calmness. "I can look after Madame up to a certain
point but I cannot be altogether responsible. There is a dangerous person who
is everlastingly trying to see Madame alone. I have managed to keep him off
several times but there is a beastly old journalist who is encouraging him in
his attempts, and I daren't even speak to Madame about it."
"What sort of
person do you mean?"
"Why, a man,"
she said scornfully.
I snatched up my coat
and hat.
"Aren't there
dozens of them?"
"Oh! But this one
is dangerous. Madame must have given him a hold on her in some way. I ought not
to talk like this about Madame and I wouldn't to anybody but Monsieur. I am
always on the watch, but what is a poor girl to do? . . . Isn't Monsieur going
back to Madame?"
"No, I am not
going back. Not this time." A mist seemed to fall before my eyes. I could
hardly see the girl standing by the closed door of the Pompeiian room with
extended hand, as if turned to stone. But my voice was firm enough. "Not
this time," I repeated, and became aware of the great noise of the wind
amongst the trees, with the lashing of a rain squall against the door. Perhaps
some other time," I added.
I heard her say twice
to herself: "Mon Dieu! Mon Dieu!" and then a dismayed: "What can
Monsieur expect me to do?" But I had to appear insensible to her distress
and that not altogether because, in fact, I had no option but to go away. I
remember also a distinct wilfulness in my attitude and something
half-contemptuous in my words as I laid my hand on the knob of the front door.
"You will tell
Madame that I am gone. It will please her. Tell her that I am
gone---heroically."
Rose had come up close
to me. She met my words by a despairing outward movement of her hands as though
she were giving everything up.
"I see it clearly
now that Madame has no friends," she declared with such a force of
restrained bitterness that it nearly made me pause. But the very obscurity of actuating
motives drove me on and I stepped out through the doorway muttering:
"Everything is as Madame wishes it."
She shot at me a swift
"You should resist," of an extraordinary intensity, but I strode on
down the path. Then Rose's schooled temper gave way at last and I heard her
angry voice screaming after me furiously through the wind and rain: "No!
Madame has no friends. Not one!"
That night I didn't get
on board till just before midnight and Dominic could not conceal his relief at
having me safely there. Why he should have been so uneasy it was impossible to
say but at the time I had a sort of impression that my inner destruction (it
was nothing less) had affected my appearance, that my doom was as it were
written on my face. I was a mere receptacle for dust and ashes, a living
testimony to the vanity of all things. My very thoughts were like a ghostly
rustle of dead leaves. But we had an extremely successful trip, and for most of
the time Dominic displayed an unwonted jocularity of a dry and biting kind with
which, he maintained, he had been infected by no other person than myself. As,
with all his force of character, he was very responsive to the moods of those
he liked I have no doubt he spoke the truth. But I know nothing about it. The
observer, more or less alert, whom each of us carries in his own consciousness,
failed me altogether, had turned away his face in sheer horror, or else had
fainted from the strain. And thus I had to live alone, unobserved even by
myself.
But the trip had been
successful. We re-entered the harbour very quietly as usual and when our craft
had been moored unostentatiously amongst the plebeian stone-carriers, Dominic,
whose grim joviality had subsided in the last twenty-four hours of our homeward
run, abandoned me to myself as though indeed I had been a doomed man. He only
stuck his head for a moment into our little cuddy where I was changing my clothes
and being told in answer to his question that I had no special orders to give
went ashore without waiting for me.
Generally we used to
step on the quay together and I never failed to enter for a moment Madame Léonore's
café. But this time when I got on the quay Dominic was nowhere to be seen. What
was it? Abandonment---discretion--- or had he quarrelled with his Léonore
before leaving on the trip?
My way led me past the
café and through the glass panes I saw that he was already there. On the other
side of the little marble table Madame Léonore, leaning with mature grace on
her elbow, was listening to him absorbed. Then I passed on and---what would you
have!---I ended by making my way into the street of the Consuls. I had nowhere
else to go. There were my things in the apartment on the first floor. I
couldn't bear the thought of meeting anybody I knew.
The feeble gas flame in
the hall was still there, on duty, as though it had never been turned off since
I last crossed the hall at half-past eleven in the evening to go to the
harbour. The small flame had watched me letting myself out; and now, exactly of
the same size, the poor little tongue of light (there was something wrong with
that burner) watched me letting myself in, as indeed it had done many times
before. Generally the impression was that of entering an untenanted house, but
this time before I could reach the foot of the stairs Therese glided out of the
passage leading into the studio. After the usual exclamations she assured me
that everything was ready for me upstairs, had been for days, and offered to
get me something to eat at once. I accepted and said I would be down in the
studio in half an hour. I found her there by the side of the laid table ready
for conversation. She began by telling me---the dear, poor young Monsieur--- in
a sort of plaintive chant, that there were no letters for me, no letters of any
kind, no letters from anybody. Glances of absolutely terrifying tenderness
mingled with flashes of cunning swept over me from head to foot while I tried
to eat.
"Are you giving me
Captain Blunt's wine to drink?" I asked, noting the straw-coloured liquid
in my glass.
She screwed up her
mouth as if she had a twinge of toothache and assured me that the wine belonged
to the house. I would have to pay her for it. As far as personal feelings go,
Blunt, who addressed her always with polite seriousness, was not a favourite
with her. The "charming, brave Monsieur" was now fighting for the
King and religion against the impious Liberals. He went away the very morning
after I had left and, oh! she remembered, he had asked her before going away
whether I was still in the house. Wanted probably to say good-bye to me, shake
my hand, the dear, polite Monsieur.
I let her run on in
dread expectation of what she would say next but she stuck to the subject of
Blunt for some time longer. He had written to her once about some of his things
which he wanted her to send to Paris to his mother's address; but she was going
to do nothing of the kind. She announced this with a pious smile; and in answer
to my questions I discovered that it was a stratagem to make Captain Blunt
return to the house.
"You will get
yourself into trouble with the police, Mademoiselle Therese, if you go on like
that," I said. But she was as obstinate as a mule and assured me with the
utmost confidence that many people would be ready to defend a poor honest girl.
There was something behind this attitude which I could not fathom. Suddenly she
fetched a deep sigh.
"Our Rita, too,
will end by coming to her sister."
The name for which I
had been waiting deprived me of speech for the moment. The poor mad sinner had
rushed off to some of her wickednesses in Paris. Did I know? No? How could she
tell whether I did know or not? Well! I had hardly left the house, so to speak,
when Rita was down with her maid behaving as if the house did really still
belong to her.
"What time was
it?" I managed to ask. And with the words my life itself was being forced
out through my lips. But Therese, not noticing anything strange about me, said
it was something like half-past seven in the morning. The "poor
sinner" was all in black as if she were going to church (except for her
expression, which was enough to shock any honest person), and after ordering
her with frightful menaces not to let anybody know she was in the house she
rushed upstairs and locked herself up in my bedroom, while "that French
creature" (whom she seemed to love more than her own sister) went into my
salon and hid herself behind the window curtain.
I had recovered
sufficiently to ask in a quiet natural voice whether Doña Rita and Captain
Blunt had seen each other. Apparently they had not seen each other. The polite
captain had looked so stern while packing up his kit that Therese dared not speak
to him at all. And he was in a hurry, too. He had to see his dear mother off to
Paris before his own departure. Very stern. But he shook her hand with a very
nice bow.
Therese elevated her
right hand for me to see. It was broad and short with blunt fingers, as usual.
The pressure of Captain Blunt's handshake had not altered its unlovely shape.
"What was the good
of telling him that our Rita was here?" went on Therese. "I would
have been ashamed of her coming here and behaving as if the house belonged to
her! I had already said some prayers at his intention at the half-past six
mass, the brave gentleman. That maid of my sister Rita was upstairs watching
him drive away with her evil eyes, but I made a sign of the cross after the
fiacre, and then I went upstairs and banged at your door, my dear kind young
Monsieur, and shouted to Rita that she had no right to lock herself in any of
my locataires' rooms. At last she opened it---and what do you think? All her
hair was loose over her shoulders. I suppose it all came down when she flung
her hat on your bed. I noticed when she arrived that her hair wasn't done
properly. She used your brushes to do it up again in front of your glass."
"Wait a
moment," I said, and jumped up, upsetting my wine to run upstairs as fast
as I could. I lighted the gas, all the three jets in the middle of the room,
the jet by the bedside and two others flanking the dressing-table. I had been
struck by the wild hope of finding a trace of Rita's passage, a sign or
something. I pulled out all the drawers violently, thinking that perhaps she
had hidden there a scrap of paper, a note. It was perfectly mad. Of course
there was no chance of that. Therese would have seen to it. I picked up one
after another all the various objects on the dressing-table. On laying my hands
on the brushes I had a profound emotion, and with misty eyes I examined them
meticulously with the new hope of finding one of Rita's tawny hairs entangled
amongst the bristles by a miraculous chance. But Therese would have done away
with that chance, too. There was nothing to be seen, though I held them up to
the light with a beating heart. It was written that not even that trace of her
passage on the earth should remain with me; not to help but, as it were, to
soothe the memory. Then I lighted a cigarette and came downstairs slowly. My
unhappiness became dulled, as the grief of those who mourn for the dead gets
dulled in the overwhelming sensation that everything is over, that a part of
themselves is lost beyond recall taking with it all the savour of life.
I discovered Therese
still on the very same spot of the floor, her hands folded over each other and
facing my empty chair before which the spilled wine had soaked a large portion
of the table-cloth. She hadn't moved at all. She hadn't even picked up the
overturned glass. But directly I appeared she began to speak in an ingratiating
voice.
"If you have
missed anything of yours upstairs, my dear young Monsieur, you mustn't say it's
me. You don't know what our Rita is."
"I wish to
goodness," I said, "that she had taken something."
And again I became
inordinately agitated as though it were my absolute fate to be everlastingly
dying and reviving to the tormenting fact of her existence. Perhaps she had
taken something? Anything. Some small object. I thought suddenly of a
Rhenish-stone match-box. Perhaps it was that. I didn't remember having seen it
when upstairs. I wanted to make sure at once. At once. But I commanded myself
to sit still.
"And she so
wealthy," Therese went on. "Even you with your dear generous little
heart can do nothing for our Rita. No man can do anything for her---except
perhaps one, but she is so evilly disposed towards him that she wouldn't even
see him, if in the goodness of his forgiving heart he were to offer his hand to
her. It's her bad conscience that frightens her. He loves her more than his
life, the dear, charitable man."
"You mean some
rascal in Paris that I believe persecutes Doña Rita. Listen, Mademoiselle
Therese, if you know where he hangs out you had better let him have word to be
careful. I believe he, too, is mixed up in the Carlist intrigue. Don't you know
that your sister can get him shut up any day or get him expelled by the
police?"
Therese sighed deeply
and put on a look of pained virtue.
"Oh, the hardness
of her heart. She tried to be tender with me. She is awful. I said to her,
`Rita, have you sold your soul to the Devil?' and she shouted like a fiend:
`For happiness! Ha, ha, ha!' She threw herself backwards on that couch in your
room and laughed and laughed and laughed as if I had been tickling her, and she
drummed on the floor with the heels of her shoes. She is possessed. Oh, my dear
innocent young Monsieur, you have never seen anything like that. That wicked
girl who serves her rushed in with a tiny glass bottle and put it to her nose;
but I had a mind to run out and fetch the priest from the church where I go to
early mass. Such a nice, stout, severe man. But that false, cheating creature
(I am sure she is robbing our Rita from morning to night), she talked to our
Rita very low and quieted her down. I am sure I don't know what she said. She
must be leagued with the devil. And then she asked me if I would go down and
make a cup of chocolate for her Madame. Madame---that's our Rita. Madame! It
seems they were going off directly to Paris and her Madame had had nothing to
eat since the morning of the day before. Fancy me being ordered to make
chocolate for our Rita! However, the poor thing looked so exhausted and
white-faced that I went. Ah! the devil can give you an awful shake up if he
likes."
Therese fetched another
deep sigh and raising her eyes looked at me with great attention. I preserved
an inscrutable expression, for I wanted to hear all she had to tell me of Rita.
I watched her with the greatest anxiety composing her face into a cheerful
expression.
"So Doña Rita is
gone to Paris?" I asked negligently.
"Yes, my dear
Monsieur. I believe she went straight to the railway station from here. When
she first got up from the couch she could hardly stand. But before, while she
was drinking the chocolate which I made for her, I tried to get her to sign a
paper giving over the house to me, but she only closed her eyes and begged me
to try and be a good sister and leave her alone for half an hour. And she lying
there looking as if she wouldn't live a day. But she always hated me."
I said bitterly,
"You needn't have worried her like this. If she had not lived for another
day you would have had this house and everything else besides; a bigger bit
than even your wolfish throat can swallow, Mademoiselle Therese."
I then said a few more
things indicative of my disgust with her rapacity, but they were quite
inadequate, as I wasn't able to find words strong enough to express my real
mind. But it didn't matter really because I don't think Therese heard me at
all. She seemed lost in rapt amazement.
"What do you say,
my dear Monsieur? What! All for me without any sort of paper?"
She appeared distracted
by my curt: "Yes." Therese believed in my truthfulness. She believed
me implicitly, except when I was telling her the truth about herself, mincing
no words, when she used to stand smilingly bashful as if I were overwhelming
her with compliments. I expected her to continue the horrible tale but
apparently she had found something to think about which checked the flow. She fetched
another sigh and muttered:
"Then the law can
be just, if it does not require any paper. After all, I am her sister."
"It's very
difficult to believe that---at sight," I said roughly.
"Ah, but that I
could prove. There are papers for that."
After this declaration
she began to clear the table, preserving a thoughtful silence.
I was not very
surprised at the news of Doña Rita's departure for Paris. It was not necessary
to ask myself why she had gone. I didn't even ask myself whether she had left
the leased Villa on the Prado for ever. Later talking again with Therese, I
learned that her sister had given it up for the use of the Carlist cause and
that some sort of unofficial Consul, a Carlist agent of some sort, either was
going to live there or had already taken possession. This, Rita herself had
told her before her departure on that agitated morning spent in the house---in
my rooms. A close investigation demonstrated to me that there was nothing
missing from them. Even the wretched match-box which I really hoped was gone
turned up in a drawer after I had, delightedly, given it up. It was a great
blow. She might have taken that at least! She knew I used to carry it about
with me constantly while ashore. She might have taken it! Apparently she meant
that there should be no bond left even of that kind and yet it was a long time
before I gave up visiting and revisiting all the corners of all possible
receptacles for something that she might have left behind on purpose. It was
like the mania of those disordered minds who spend their days hunting for a
treasure. I hoped for a forgotten hairpin, for some tiny piece of ribbon.
Sometimes at night I reflected that such hopes were altogether insensate but I
remember once getting up at two in the morning to search for a little cardboard
box in the bathroom, into which, I remembered, I had not looked before. Of
course it was empty; and, anyway, Rita could not possibly have known of its
existence. I got back to bed shivering violently, though the night was warm,
and with a distinct impression that this thing would end by making me mad. It
was no longer a question of "this sort of thing" killing me. The
moral atmosphere of this torture was different. It would make me mad. And at
that thought great shudders ran down my prone body, because, once, I had
visited a famous lunatic asylum where they had shown me a poor wretch who was
mad, apparently, because he thought he had been abominably fooled by a woman.
They told me that his grievance was quite imaginary. He was a young man with a
thin fair beard, huddled up on the edge of his bed, hugging himself forlornly;
and his incessant and lamentable wailing filled the long bare corridor,
striking a chill into one's heart long before one came to the door of his cell.
And there was no one
from whom I could hear, to whom I could speak, with whom I could evoke the
image of Rita. Of course I could utter that word of four letters to Therese;
but Therese for some reason took it into her head to avoid all topics connected
with her sister. I felt as if I could pull out great handfuls of her hair
hidden modestly under the black handkerchief of which the ends were sometimes
tied under her chin. But, really, I could not have given her any intelligible
excuse for that outrage. Moreover, she was very busy from the very top to the
very bottom of the house, which she persisted in running alone because she
couldn't make up her mind to part with a few francs every month to a servant.
It seemed to me that I was no longer such a favourite with her as I used to be.
That, strange to say, was exasperating, too. It was as if some idea, some
fruitful notion had killed in her all the softer and more humane emotions. She
went about with brooms and dusters wearing an air of sanctimonious
thoughtfulness.
The man who to a
certain extent took my place in Therese's favour was the old father of the
dancing girls inhabiting the ground floor. In a tall hat and a well-to-do dark
blue overcoat he allowed himself to be buttonholed in the hall by Therese who
would talk to him interminably with downcast eyes. He smiled gravely down at
her, and meanwhile tried to edge towards the front door. I imagine he didn't
put a great value on Therese's favour. Our stay in harbour was prolonged this
time and I kept indoors like an invalid. One evening I asked that old man to
come in and drink and smoke with me in the studio. He made no difficulties to
accept, brought his wooden pipe with him, and was very entertaining in a
pleasant voice. One couldn't tell whether he was an uncommon person or simply a
ruffian, but in any ease with his white beard he looked quite venerable.
Naturally he couldn't give me much of his company as he had to look closely
after his girls and their admirers; not that the girls were unduly frivolous,
but of course being very young they had no experience. They were friendly
creatures with pleasant, merry voices and he was very much devoted to them. He
was a muscular man with a high colour and silvery locks curling round his bald
pate and over his ears, like a barocco apostle. I had an idea that he had had a
lurid past and had seen some fighting in his youth. The admirers of the two
girls stood in great awe of him, from instinct no doubt, because his behaviour
to them was friendly and even somewhat obsequious, yet always with a certain
truculent glint in his eye that made them pause in everything but their
generosity---which was encouraged. I sometimes wondered whether those two
careless, merry hard-working creatures understood the secret moral beauty of
the situation.
My real company was the
dummy in the studio and I can't say it was exactly satisfying. After taking
possession of the studio I had raised it tenderly, dusted its mangled limbs and
insensible, hard-wood bosom, and then had propped it up in a corner where it
seemed to take on, of itself, a shy attitude. I knew its history. It was not an
ordinary dummy. One day, talking with Doña Rita about her sister, I had told
her that I thought Therese used to knock it down on purpose with a broom, and
Doña Rita had laughed very much. This, she had said, was an instance of dislike
from mere instinct. That dummy had been made to measure years before. It had to
wear for days and days the Imperial Byzantine robes in which Doña Rita sat only
once or twice herself; but of course the folds and bends of the stuff had to be
preserved as in the first sketch. Doña Rita described amusingly how she had to
stand in the middle of her room while Rose walked around her with a tape
measure noting the figures down on a small piece of paper which was then sent
to the maker, who presently returned it with an angry letter stating that those
proportions were altogether impossible in any woman. Apparently Rose had
muddled them all up; and it was a long time before the figure was finished and
sent to the Pavilion in a long basket to take on itself the robes and the
hieratic pose of the Empress. Later, it wore with the same patience the
marvellous hat of the "Girl in the Hat." But Doña Rita couldn't
understand how the poor thing ever found its way to Marseilles minus its turnip
head. Probably it came down with the robes and a quantity of precious brocades
which she herself had sent down from Paris. The knowledge of its origin, the
contempt of Captain Blunt's references to it, with Therese's shocked dislike of
the dummy, invested that summary reproduction with a sort of charm, gave me a
faint and miserable illusion of the original, less artificial than a
photograph, less precise, too. . . . But it can't be explained. I felt
positively friendly to it as if it had been Rita's trusted personal attendant.
I even went so far as to discover that it had a sort of grace of its own. But I
never went so far as to address set speeches to it where it lurked shyly in its
corner, or drag it out from there for contemplation. I left it in peace. I
wasn't mad. I was only convinced that I soon would be.
Notwithstanding my
misanthropy I had to see a few people on account of all these Royalist affairs
which I couldn't very well drop, and in truth did not wish to drop. They were
my excuse for remaining in Europe, which somehow I had not the strength of mind
to leave for the West Indies, or elsewhere. On the other hand, my adventurous
pursuit kept me in contact with the sea where I found occupation, protection, consolation,
the mental relief of grappling with concrete problems, the sanity one acquires
from close contact with simple mankind, a little self-confidence born from the
dealings with the elemental powers of nature. I couldn't give all that up. And
besides all this was related to Doña Rita. I had, as it were, received it all
from her own hand, from that hand the clasp of which was as frank as a man's
and yet conveyed a unique sensation. The very memory of it would go through me
like a wave of heat. It was over that hand that we first got into the habit of
quarrelling, with the irritability of sufferers from some obscure pain and yet
half unconscious of their disease. Rita's own spirit hovered over the troubled
waters of Legitimity. But as to the sound of the four magic letters of her name
I was not very likely to hear it fall sweetly on my ear. For instance, the
distinguished personality in the world of finance with whom I had to confer
several times, alluded to the irresistible seduction of the power which reigned
over my heart and my mind; which had a mysterious and unforgettable face, the
brilliance of sunshine together with the unfathomable splendour of the night
as---Madame de Lastaola. That's how that steel-grey man called the greatest
mystery of the universe. When uttering that assumed name he would make for
himself a guardedly solemn and reserved face as though he were afraid lest I
should presume to smile, lest he himself should venture to smile, and the
sacred formality of our relations should be outraged beyond mending.
He would refer in a
studiously grave tone to Madame de Lastaola's wishes, plans, activities,
instructions, movements; or picking up a letter from the usual litter of paper
found on such men's desks, glance at it to refresh his memory; and, while the
very sight of the handwriting would make my lips go dry, would ask me in a
bloodless voice whether perchance I had "a direct communication
from---er---Paris lately." And there would be other maddening
circumstances connected with those visits. He would treat me as a serious
person having a clear view of certain eventualities, while at the very moment
my vision could see nothing but streaming across the wall at his back, abundant
and misty, unearthly and adorable, a mass of tawny hair that seemed to have hot
sparks tangled in it. Another nuisance was the atmosphere of Royalism, of
Legitimacy, that pervaded the room, thin as air, intangible, as though no
Legitimist of flesh and blood had ever existed to the man's mind except perhaps
myself. He, of course, was just simply a banker, a very distinguished, a very
influential, and a very impeccable banker. He persisted also in deferring to my
judgment and sense with an over-emphasis called out by his perpetual surprise
at my youth. Though he had seen me many times (I even knew his wife) he could
never get over my immature age. He himself was born about fifty years old, all
complete, with his iron-grey whiskers and his bilious eyes, which he had the
habit of frequently closing during a conversation. On one occasion he said to
me "By the by, the Marquis of Villarel is here for a time. He inquired
after you the last time he called on me. May I let him know that you are in
town?"
I didn't say anything
to that. The Marquis of Villarel was the Don Rafael of Rita's own story. What
had I to do with Spanish grandees? And for that matter what had she, the woman
of all time, to do with all the villainous or splendid disguises human dust
takes upon itself? All this was in the past, and I was acutely aware that for
me there was no present, no future, nothing but a hollow pain, a vain passion
of such magnitude that being locked up within my breast it gave me an illusion
of lonely greatness with my miserable head uplifted amongst the stars. But when
I made up my mind (which I did quickly, to be done with it) to call on the
banker's wife, almost the first thing she said to me was that the Marquis de
Villarel was "amongst us." She said it joyously. If in her husband's
room at the bank legitimism was a mere unpopulated principle, in her salon
Legitimacy was nothing but persons. "Il m'a causé beaucoup de vous,"
she said as if there had been a joke in it of which I ought to be proud. I
slunk away from her. I couldn't believe that the grandee had talked to her
about me. I had never felt myself part of the great Royalist enterprise. I
confess that I was so indifferent to everything, so profoundly demoralized,
that having once got into that drawing-room I hadn't the strength to get away;
though I could see perfectly well my volatile hostess going from one to another
of her acquaintances in order to tell them with a little gesture, "Look!
Over there---in that corner. That's the notorious Monsieur George." At
last she herself drove me out by coming to sit by me vivaciously and going into
ecstasies over "ce cher Monsieur Mills" and that magnificent Lord X;
and ultimately, with a perfectly odious snap in the eyes and drop in the voice,
dragging in the name of Madame de Lastaola and asking me whether I was really
so much in the confidence of that astonishing person. "Vous devez bien
regretter son départ pour Paris," she cooed, looking with affected
bashfulness at her fan. . . . How I got out of the room I really don't know.
There was also a staircase. I did not fall down it head first---that much I am
certain of; and I also remember that I wandered for a long time about the
seashore and went home very late, by the way of the Prado, giving in passing a
fearful glance at the Villa. It showed not a gleam of light through the thin
foliage of its trees.
I spent the next day
with Dominic on board the little craft watching the shipwrights at work on her
deck. From the way they went about their business those men must have been
perfectly sane; and I felt greatly refreshed by my company during the day.
Dominic, too, devoted himself to his business, but his taciturnity was
sardonic. Then I dropped in at the café and Madame Léonore's loud "Eh,
Signorino, here you are at last!" pleased me by its resonant friendliness.
But I found the sparkle of her black eyes as she sat down for a moment opposite
me while I was having my drink rather difficult to bear. That man and that
woman seemed to know something. What did they know? At parting she pressed my
hand significantly. What did she mean? But I didn't feel offended by these
manifestations. The souls within these people's breasts were not volatile in
the manner of slightly scented and inflated bladders. Neither had they the
impervious skins which seem the rule in the fine world that wants only to get on.
Somehow they had sensed that there was something wrong; and whatever impression
they might have formed for themselves I had the certitude that it would not be
for them a matter of grins at my expense.
That day on returning
home I found Therese looking out for me, a very unusual occurrence of late. She
handed me a card bearing the name of the Marquis de Villarel.
"How did you come
by this?" I asked. She turned on at once the tap of her volubility and I
was not surprised to learn that the grandee had not done such an extraordinary
thing as to call upon me in person. A young gentleman had brought it. Such a
nice young gentleman, she interjected with her piously ghoulish expression. He
was not very tall. He had a very smooth complexion (that woman was incorrigible)
and a nice, tiny black moustache. Therese was sure that he must have been an
officer en las filas legitimas. With that notion in her head she had asked him
about the welfare of that other model of charm and elegance, Captain Blunt. To
her extreme surprise the charming young gentleman with beautiful eyes had
apparently never heard of Blunt. But he seemed very much interested in his
surroundings, looked all round the hall, noted the costly wood of the door
panels, paid some attention to the silver statuette holding up the defective
gas burner at the foot of the stairs, and, finally, asked whether this was in
very truth the house of the most excellent Señora Doña Rita de Lastaola. The
question staggered Therese, but with great presence of mind she answered the
young gentleman that she didn't know what excellence there was about it, but
that the house was her property, having been given to her by her own sister. At
this the young gentleman looked both puzzled and angry, turned on his heel, and
got back into his fiacre. Why should people be angry with a poor girl who had
never done a single reprehensible thing in her whole life?
"I suppose our
Rita does tell people awful lies about her poor sister." She sighed deeply
(she had several kinds of sighs and this was the hopeless kind) and added
reflectively, "Sin on sin, wickedness on wickedness! And the longer she
lives the worse it will be. It would be better for our Rita to be dead."
I told
"Mademoiselle Therese" that it was really impossible to tell whether
she was more stupid or atrocious but I wasn't really very much shocked. These
outbursts did not signify anything in Therese. One got used to them. They were
merely the expression of her rapacity and her righteousness; so that our
conversation ended by my asking her whether she had any dinner ready for me
that evening.
"What's the good
of getting you anything to eat, my dear young Monsieur," she quizzed me
tenderly. "You just only peck like a little bird. Much better let me save
the money for you." It will show the super-terrestrial nature of my misery
when I say that I was quite surprised at Therese's view of my appetite. Perhaps
she was right. I certainly did not know. I stared hard at her and in the end
she admitted that the dinner was in fact ready that very moment.
The new young gentleman
within Therese's horizon didn't surprise me very much. Villarel would travel
with some sort of suite, a couple of secretaries at least. I had heard enough
of Carlist headquarters to know that the man had been (very likely was still)
Captain General of the Royal Bodyguard and was a person of great political (and
domestic) influence at Court. The card was, under its social form, a mere
command to present myself before the grandee. No Royalist devoted by conviction,
as I must have appeared to him, could have mistaken the meaning. I put the card
in my pocket and after dining or not dining---I really don't remember---spent
the evening smoking in the studio, pursuing thoughts of tenderness and grief,
visions exalting and cruel. From time to time I looked at the dummy. I even got
up once from the couch on which I had been writhing like a worm and walked
towards it as if to touch it, but refrained, not from sudden shame but from
sheer despair. By and by Therese drifted in. It was then late and, I imagine,
she was on her way to bed. She looked the picture of cheerful, rustic innocence
and started propounding to me a conundrum which began with the words:
"If our Rita were
to die before long . . ."
She didn't get any
further because I had jumped up and frightened her by shouting: "Is she
ill? What has happened? Have you had a letter?"
She had had a letter. I
didn't ask her to show it to me, though I daresay she would have done so. I had
an idea that there was no meaning in anything, at least no meaning that
mattered. But the interruption had made Therese apparently forget her sinister
conundrum. She observed me with her shrewd, unintelligent eyes for a bit, and
then with the fatuous remark about the Law being just she left me to the
horrors of the studio. I believe I went to sleep there from sheer exhaustion.
Some time during the night I woke up chilled to the bone and in the dark. These
were horrors and no mistake. I dragged myself upstairs to bed past the
indefatigable statuette holding up the ever-miserable light. The
black-and-white hall was like an ice-house.
The main consideration
which induced me to call on the Marquis of Villarel was the fact that after all
I was a discovery of Doña Rita's, her own recruit. My fidelity and
steadfastness had been guaranteed by her and no one else. I couldn't bear the
idea of her being criticized by every empty-headed chatterer belonging to the
Cause. And as, apart from that, nothing mattered much, why, then---I would get
this over.
But it appeared that I
had not reflected sufficiently on all the consequences of that step. First of
all the sight of the Villa looking shabbily cheerful in the sunshine (but not
containing her any longer) was so perturbing that I very nearly went away from
the gate. Then when I got in after much hesitation---being admitted by the man
in the green baize apron who recognized me---the thought of entering that room,
out of which she was gone as completely as if she had been dead, gave me such
an emotion that I had to steady myself against the table till the faintness was
past. Yet I was irritated as at a treason when the man in the baize apron
instead of letting me into the Pompeiian dining-room crossed the hall to
another door not at all in the Pompeiian style (more Louis XV rather---that
Villa was like a Salade Russe of styles) and introduced me into a big, light
room full of very modern furniture. The portrait en pied of an officer in a
sky-blue uniform hung on the end wall. The officer had a small head, a black
beard cut square, a robust body, and leaned with gauntleted hands on the simple
hilt of a straight sword. That striking picture dominated a massive mahogany
desk, and, in front of this desk, a very roomy, tall-backed armchair of dark
green velvet. I thought I had been announced into an empty room till glancing
along the extremely loud carpet I detected a pair of feet under the armchair.
I advanced towards it
and discovered a little man, who had made no sound or movement till I came into
his view, sunk deep in the green velvet. He altered his position slowly and
rested his hollow, black, quietly burning eyes on my face in prolonged scrutiny.
I detected something comminatory in his yellow, emaciated countenance, but I
believe now he was simply startled by my youth. I bowed profoundly. He extended
a meagre little hand.
"Take a chair, Don
Jorge."
He was very small,
frail, and thin, but his voice was not languid, though he spoke hardly above
his breath. Such was the envelope and the voice of the fanatical soul belonging
to the Grand-master of Ceremonies and Captain General of the Bodyguard at the
Headquarters of the Legitimist Court, now detached on a special mission. He was
all fidelity, inflexibility, and sombre conviction, but like some great saints
he had very little body to keep all these merits in.
"You are very
young," he remarked, to begin with. "The matters on which I desired
to converse with you are very grave."
"I was under the
impression that your Excellency wished to see me at once. But if your
Excellency prefers it I will return in, say, seven years' time when I may
perhaps be old enough to talk about grave matters."
He didn't stir hand or
foot and not even the quiver of an eyelid proved that he had heard my
shockingly unbecoming retort.
"You have been
recommended to us by a noble and loyal lady, in whom His Majesty---whom God
preserve--- reposes an entire confidence. God will reward her as she deserves
and you, too, Señor, according to the disposition you bring to this great work
which has the blessing (here he crossed himself) of our Holy Mother the
Church."
"I suppose your
Excellency understands that in all this I am not looking for reward of any
kind."
At this he made a
faint, almost ethereal grimace.
"I was speaking of
the spiritual blessing which rewards the service of religion and will be of
benefit to your soul," he explained with a slight touch of acidity.
"The other is perfectly understood and your fidelity is taken for granted.
His Majesty---whom God preserve---has been already pleased to signify his
satisfaction with your services to the most noble and loyal Doña Rita by a
letter in his own hand."
Perhaps he expected me
to acknowledge this announcement in some way, speech, or bow, or something,
because before my immobility he made a slight movement in his chair which
smacked of impatience. "I am afraid, Señor, that you are affected by the
spirit of scoffing and irreverence which pervades this unhappy country of
France in which both you and I are strangers, I believe. Are you a young man of
that sort?"
"I am a very good
gun-runner, your Excellency," I answered quietly.
He bowed his head
gravely. "We are aware. But I was looking for the motives which ought to
have their pure source in religion."
"I must confess
frankly that I have not reflected on my motives," I said. "It is
enough for me to know that they are not dishonourable and that anybody can see
they are not the motives of an adventurer seeking some sordid advantage."
He had listened
patiently and when he saw that there was nothing more to come he ended the
discussion.
"Señor, we should
reflect upon our motives. It is salutary for our conscience and is recommended
(he crossed himself) by our Holy Mother the Church. I have here certain letters
from Paris on which I would consult your young sagacity which is accredited to
us by the most loyal Doña Rita."
The sound of that name
on his lips was simply odious. I was convinced that this man of forms and
ceremonies and fanatical royalism was perfectly heartless. Perhaps he reflected
on his motives; but it seemed to me that his conscience could be nothing else
but a monstrous thing which very few actions could disturb appreciably. Yet for
the credit of Doña Rita I did not withhold from him my young sagacity. What he
thought of it I don't know, The matters we discussed were not of course of high
policy, though from the point of view of the war in the south they were
important enough. We agreed on certain things to be done, and finally, always
out of regard for Doña Rita's credit, I put myself generally at his disposition
or of any Carlist agent he would appoint in his place; for I did not suppose
that he would remain very long in Marseilles. He got out of the chair
laboriously, like a sick child might have done. The audience was over but he
noticed my eyes wandering to the portrait and he said in his measured,
breathed-out tones
"I owe the
pleasure of having this admirable work here to the gracious attention of Madame
de Lastaola, who, knowing my attachment to the royal person of my Master, has
sent it down from Paris to greet me in this house which has been given up for
my occupation also through her generosity to the Royal Cause. Unfortunately
she, too, is touched by the infection of this irreverent and unfaithful age.
But she is young yet. She is young."
These last words were
pronounced in a strange tone of menace as though he were supernaturally aware
of some suspended disasters. With his burning eyes he was the image of an
Inquisitor with an unconquerable soul in that frail body. But suddenly he
dropped his eyelids and the conversation finished as characteristically as it
had begun with a slow, dismissing inclination of the head and an "Adios,
Señor---may God guard you from sin."
I must say that for the
next three months I threw myself into my unlawful trade with a sort of
desperation, dogged and hopeless, like a fairly decent fellow who takes deliberately
to drink. The business was getting dangerous. The bands in the South were not
very well organized, worked with no very definite plan, and now were beginning
to be pretty closely hunted. The arrangements for the transport of supplies
were going to pieces; our friends ashore were getting scared; and it was no
joke to find after a day of skilful dodging that there was no one at the
landing place and have to go out again with our compromising cargo, to slink
and lurk about the coast for another week or so, unable to trust anybody and
looking at every vessel we met with suspicion. Once we were ambushed by a lot
of "rascally Carabineers," as Dominic called them, who hid themselves
among the rocks after disposing a train of mules well in view on the seashore.
Luckily, on evidence which I could never understand, Dominic detected something
suspicious. Perhaps it was by virtue of some sixth sense that men born for
unlawful occupations may be gifted with. "There is a smell of treachery
about this," he remarked suddenly, turning at his oar. (He and I were
pulling alone in a little boat to reconnoitre.) I couldn't detect any smell and
I regard to this day our escape on that occasion as, properly speaking,
miraculous. Surely some supernatural power must have struck upwards the barrels
of the Carabineers' rifles, for they missed us by yards. And as the Carabineers
have the reputation of shooting straight, Dominic, after swearing most
horribly, ascribed our escape to the particular guardian angel that looks after
crazy young gentlemen. Dominic believed in angels in a conventional way, but
laid no claim to having one of his own. Soon afterwards, while sailing quietly
at night, we found ourselves suddenly near a small coasting vessel, also
without lights, which all at once treated us to a volley of rifle fire.
Dominic's mighty and inspired yell "A plat ventre!" and also an
unexpected roll to windward saved all our lives. Nobody got a scratch. We were
past in a moment and in a breeze then blowing we had the heels of anything
likely to give us chase. But an hour afterwards, as we stood side by side
peering into the darkness, Dominic was heard to mutter through his teeth
"Le métier se gâte." I, too, had the feeling that the trade, if not
altogether spoiled, had seen its best days. But I did not care. In fact, for my
purpose it was rather better, a more potent influence; like the stronger
intoxication of raw spirit. A volley in the dark after all was not such a bad
thing. Only a moment before we had received it, there, in that calm night of
the sea full of freshness and soft whispers, I had been looking at an
enchanting turn of a head in a faint light of its own, the tawny hair with
snared red sparks brushed up from the nape of a white neck and held up on high
by an arrow of gold feathered with brilliants and with ruby gleams all along
its shaft. That jewelled ornament, which I remember often telling Rita was of a
very Philistinish conception (it was in some way connected with a tortoiseshell
comb) occupied an undue place in my memory, tried to come into some sort of
significance even in my sleep. Often I dreamed of her with white limbs
shimmering in the gloom like a nymph haunting a riot of foliage and raising a
perfect round arm to take an arrow of gold out of her hair to throw it at me by
hand, like a dart. It came on, a whizzing trail of light, but I always woke up
before it struck. Always. Invariably. It never had a chance. A volley of small
arms was much more likely to do the business some day---or night.
At last came the day
when everything slipped out of my grasp. The little vessel, broken and gone
like the only toy of a lonely child, the sea itself, which had swallowed it,
throwing me on shore after a shipwreck that instead of a fair fight left in me
the memory of a suicide. It took away all that there was in me of independent
life, but just failed to take me out of the world, which looked then indeed
like Another World fit for no one else but unrepentant sinners. Even Dominic
failed me, his moral entity destroyed by what to him was a most tragic ending
of our common enterprise. The lurid swiftness of it all was like a stunning
thunder-clap---and, one evening, I found myself weary, heartsore, my brain
still dazed and with awe in my heart entering Marseilles by way of the railway
station, after many adventures, one more disagreeable than another, involving
privations, great exertions, a lot of difficulties with all sorts of people who
looked upon me evidently more as a discreditable vagabond deserving the
attentions of gendarmes than a respectable (if crazy) young gentleman attended
by a guardian angel of his own. I must confess that I slunk out of the railway
station shunning its many lights as if, invariably, failure made an outcast of
a man. I hadn't any money in my pocket. I hadn't even the bundle and the stick
of a destitute wayfarer. I was unshaven and unwashed, and my heart was faint
within me. My attire was such that I daren't approach the rank of fiacres,
where indeed I could perceive only two pairs of lamps, of which one suddenly
drove away while I looked. The other I gave up to the fortunate of this earth.
I didn't believe in my power of persuasion. I had no powers. I slunk on and on,
shivering with cold, through the uproarious streets. Bedlam was loose in them.
It was the time of Carnival.
Small objects of no
value have the secret of sticking to a man in an astonishing way. I had nearly
lost my liberty and even my life, I had lost my ship, a money-belt full of
gold, I had lost my companions, had parted from my friend; my occupation, my
only link with life, my touch with the sea, my cap and jacket were gone---but a
small penknife and a latchkey had never parted company with me. With the
latchkey I opened the door of refuge. The hall wore its deaf-and-dumb air, its
black-and-white stillness.
The sickly gas-jet
still struggled bravely with adversity at the end of the raised silver arm of
the statuette which had kept to a hair's breadth its graceful pose on the toes
of its left foot; and the staircase lost itself in the shadows above. Therese
was parsimonious with the lights. To see all this was surprising. It seemed to
me that all the things I had known ought to have come down with a crash at the
moment of the final catastrophe on the Spanish coast. And there was Therese
herself descending the stairs, frightened but plucky. Perhaps she thought that
she would be murdered this time for certain. She had a strange, unemotional
conviction that the house was particularly convenient for a crime. One could
never get to the bottom of her wild notions which she held with the stolidity
of a peasant allied to the outward serenity of a nun. She quaked all over as
she came down to her doom, but when she recognized me she got such a shock that
she sat down suddenly on the lowest step. She did not expect me for another
week at least, and, besides, she explained, the state I was in made her blood
take "one turn."
Indeed my plight seemed
either to have called out or else repressed her true nature. But who had ever
fathomed her nature! There was none of her treacly volubility. There were none
of her "dear young gentlemans" and "poor little hearts" and
references to sin. In breathless silence she ran about the house getting my
room ready, lighting fires and gas-jets and even hauling at me to help me up
the stairs. Yes, she did lay hands on me for that charitable purpose. They
trembled. Her pale eyes hardly left my face. "What brought you here like
this?" she whispered once.
"If I were to tell
you, Mademoiselle Therese, you would see there the hand of God."
She dropped the extra
pillow she was carrying and then nearly fell over it. "Oh, dear
heart," she murmured, and ran off to the kitchen.
I sank into bed as into
a cloud and Therese reappeared very misty and offering me something in a cup. I
believe it was hot milk, and after I drank it she took the cup and stood
looking at me fixedly. I managed to say with difficulty: "Go away,"
whereupon she vanished as if by magic before the words were fairly out of my
mouth. Immediately afterwards the sunlight forced through the slats of the
jalousies its diffused glow, and Therese was there again as if by magic, saying
in a distant voice:
"It's midday."
. . . Youth will have its rights. I had slept like a stone for seventeen hours.
I suppose an honourable
bankrupt would know such an awakening: the sense of catastrophe, the shrinking
from the necessity of beginning life again, the faint feeling that there are
misfortunes which must be paid for by a hanging. In the course of the morning
Therese informed me that the apartment usually occupied by Mr. Blunt was vacant
and added mysteriously that she intended to keep it vacant for a time, because
she had been instructed to do so. I couldn't imagine why Blunt should wish to
return to Marseilles. She told me also that the house was empty except for
myself and the two dancing girls with their father. Those people had been away
for some time as the girls had engagements in some Italian summer theatres, but
apparently they had secured a re-engagement for the winter and were now back. I
let Therese talk because it kept my imagination from going to work on subjects
which, I had made up my mind, were no concern of mine. But I went out early to
perform an unpleasant task. It was only proper that I should let the Carlist
agent ensconced in the Prado Villa know of the sudden ending of my activities.
It would be grave enough news for him, and I did not like to be its bearer for
reasons which were mainly personal. I resembled Dominic in so far that I, too,
disliked failure.
The Marquis of Villarel
had of course gone long before. The man who was there was another type of
Carlist altogether, and his temperament was that of a trader. He was the chief
purveyor of the Legitimist armies, an honest broker of stores, and enjoyed a
great reputation for cleverness. His important task kept him, of course, in
France, but his young wife, whose beauty and devotion to her King were well known,
represented him worthily at Headquarters, where his own appearances were
extremely rare. The dissimilar but united loyalties of those two people had
been rewarded by the title of baron and the ribbon of some order or other. The
gossip of the Legitimist circles appreciated those favours with smiling
indulgence. He was the man who had been so distressed and frightened by Doña
Rita's first visit to Tolosa. He had an extreme regard for his wife. And in
that sphere of clashing arms and unceasing intrigue nobody would have smiled
then at his agitation if the man himself hadn't been somewhat grotesque.
He must have been
startled when I sent in my name, for he didn't of course expect to see me
yet---nobody expected me. He advanced soft-footed down the room. With his
jutting nose, flat-topped skull and sable garments he recalled an obese raven,
and when he heard of the disaster he manifested his astonishment and concern in
a most plebeian manner by a low and expressive whistle. I, of course, could not
share his consternation. My feelings in that connection were of a different
order; but I was annoyed at his unintelligent stare.
"I suppose,"
I said, "you will take it on yourself to advise Doña Rita, who is greatly
interested in this affair."
"Yes, but I was given
to understand that Madame de Lastaola was to leave Paris either yesterday or
this morning."
It was my turn to stare
dumbly before I could manage to ask: "For Tolosa?" in a very knowing
tone.
Whether it was the
droop of his head, play of light, or some other subtle cause, his nose seemed
to have grown perceptibly longer.
"That, Señor, is
the place where the news has got to be conveyed without undue delay," he
said in an agitated wheeze. "I could, of course, telegraph to our agent in
Bayonne who would find a messenger. But I don't like, I don't like! The
Alphonsists have agents, too, who hang about the telegraph offices. It's no use
letting the enemy get that news."
He was obviously very
confused, unhappy, and trying to think of two different things at once.
"Sit down, Don
George, sit down." He absolutely forced a cigar on me. "I am
extremely distressed. That---I mean Doña Rita is undoubtedly on her way to
Tolosa. This is very frightful."
I must say, however,
that there was in the man some sense of duty. He mastered his private fears.
After some cogitation he murmured: "There is another way of getting the
news to Headquarters. Suppose you write me a formal letter just stating the
facts, the unfortunate facts, which I will be able to forward. There is an
agent of ours, a fellow I have been employing for purchasing supplies, a
perfectly honest man. He is coming here from the north by the ten o'clock train
with some papers for me of a confidential nature. I was rather embarrassed
about it. It wouldn't do for him to get into any sort of trouble. He is not
very intelligent. I wonder, Don George, whether you would consent to meet him
at the station and take care of him generally till to-morrow. I don't like the
idea of him going about alone. Then, to-morrow night, we would send him on to
Tolosa by the west coast route, with the news; and then he can also call on Doña
Rita who will no doubt be already there. . . ." he became again distracted
all in a moment and actually went so far as to wring his fat hands. "Oh,
yes, she will be there!" he exclaimed in most pathetic accents.
I was not in the humour
to smile at anything, and he must have been satisfied with the gravity with
which I beheld his extraordinary antics. My mind was very far away. I thought:
Why not? Why shouldn't I also write a letter to Doña Rita, telling her that now
nothing stood in the way of my leaving Europe, because, really, the enterprise
couldn't be begun again; that things that come to an end can never be begun
again. The idea--- never again---had complete possession of my mind. I could
think of nothing else. Yes, I would write. The worthy Commissary General of the
Carlist forces was under the impression that I was looking at him; but what I
had in my eye was a jumble of butterfly women and winged youths and the soft
sheen of Argand lamps gleaming on an arrow of gold in the hair of a head that
seemed to evade my outstretched hand.
"Oh, yes," I
said, "I have nothing to do and even nothing to think of just now. I will
meet your man as he gets off the train at ten o'clock to-night. What's he
like?"
"Oh, he has a
black moustache and whiskers, and his chin is shaved," said the
newly-fledged baron cordially.
"A very honest
fellow. I always found him very useful. His name is José Ortega."
He was perfectly
self-possessed now, and walking soft-footed accompanied me to the door of the
room. He shook hands with a melancholy smile. "This is a very frightful
situation. My poor wife will be quite distracted. She is such a patriot. Many
thanks, Don George. You relieve me greatly. The fellow is rather stupid and
rather bad-tempered. Queer creature, but very honest! Oh, very honest!"
It was the last evening
of Carnival. The same masks, the same yells, the same mad rushes, the same
bedlam of disguised humanity blowing about the streets in the great gusts of
mistral that seemed to make them dance like dead leaves on an earth where all
joy is watched by death.
It was exactly twelve
months since that other carnival evening when I had felt a little weary and a
little lonely but at peace with all mankind. It must have been---to a day or
two. But on this evening it wasn't merely loneliness that I felt. I felt
bereaved with a sense of a complete and universal loss in which there was
perhaps more resentment than mourning; as if the world had not been taken away
from me by an august decree but filched from my innocence by an underhand fate
at the very moment when it had disclosed to my passion its warm and generous
beauty. This consciousness of universal loss had this advantage that it induced
something resembling a state of philosophic indifference. I walked up to the
railway station caring as little for the cold blasts of wind as though I had
been going to the scaffold. The delay of the train did not irritate me in the
least. I had finally made up my mind to write a letter to Doña Rita; and this
"honest fellow" for whom I was waiting would take it to her. He would
have no difficulty in Tolosa in finding Madame de Lastaola. The General
Headquarters, which was also a Court, would be buzzing with comments on her
presence. Most likely that "honest fellow" was already known to
Do>n~>a Rita. For all I knew he might have been her discovery just as I
was. Probably I, too, was regarded as an "honest fellow" enough; but
stupid---since it was clear that my luck was not inexhaustible. I hoped that
while carrying my letter the man would not let himself be caught by some
Alphonsist guerilla who would, of course, shoot him. But why should he? I, for
instance, had escaped with my life from a much more dangerous enterprise than
merely passing through the frontier line in charge of some trustworthy guide. I
pictured the fellow to myself trudging over the stony slopes and scrambling
down wild ravines with my letter to Doña Rita in his pocket. It would be such a
letter of farewell as no lover had ever written, no woman in the world had ever
read, since the beginning of love on earth. It would be worthy of the woman. No
experience, no memories, no dead traditions of passion or language would
inspire it. She herself would be its sole inspiration. She would see her own
image in it as in a mirror; and perhaps then she would understand what it was I
was saying farewell to on the very threshold of my life. A breath of vanity
passed through my brain. A letter as moving as her mere existence was moving
would be something unique. I regretted I was not a poet.
I woke up to a great
noise of feet, a sudden influx of people through the doors of the platform. I
made out my man's whiskers at once---not that they were enormous, but because I
had been warned beforehand of their existence by the excellent Commissary
General. At first I saw nothing of him but his whiskers: they were black and
cut somewhat in the shape of a shark's fin and so very fine that the least
breath of air animated them into a sort of playful restlessness. The man's
shoulders were hunched up and when he had made his way clear of the throng of
passengers I perceived him as an unhappy and shivery being. Obviously he didn't
expect to be met, because when I murmured an enquiring, "Señor
Ortega?" into his ear he swerved away from me and nearly dropped a little
handbag he was carrying. His complexion was uniformly pale, his mouth was red,
but not engaging. His social status was not very definite. He was wearing a
dark blue overcoat of no particular cut, his aspect had no relief; yet those
restless side-whiskers flanking his red mouth and the suspicious expression of
his black eyes made him noticeable. This I regretted the more because I caught
sight of two skulking fellows, looking very much like policemen in plain
clothes, watching us from a corner of the great hall. I hurried my man into a
fiacre. He had been travelling from early morning on cross-country lines and
after we got on terms a little confessed to being very hungry and cold. His red
lips trembled and I noted an underhand, cynical curiosity when he had occasion
to raise his eyes to my face. I was in some doubt how to dispose of him but as
we rolled on at a jog trot I cane to the conclusion that the best thing to do
would be to organize for him a shake-down in the studio. Obscure lodging houses
are precisely the places most looked after by the police, and even the best
hotels are bound to keep a register of arrivals. I was very anxious that
nothing should stop his projected mission of courier to headquarters. As we
passed various street corners where the mistral blast struck at us fiercely I
could feel him shivering by my side. However, Therese would have lighted the
iron stove in the studio before retiring for the night, and, anyway, I would
have to turn her out to make up a bed on the couch. Service of the King! I must
say that she was amiable and didn't seem to mind anything one asked her to do.
Thus while the fellow slumbered on the divan I would sit upstairs in my room
setting down on paper those great words of passion and sorrow that seethed in
my brain and even must have forced themselves in murmurs on to my lips, because
the man by my side suddenly asked me: "What did you say?"
---"Nothing," I answered, very much surprised. In the shifting light
of the street lamps he looked the picture of bodily misery with his chattering
teeth and his whiskers blown back flat over his ears. But somehow he didn't
arouse my compassion. He was swearing to himself, in French and Spanish, and I
tried to soothe him by the assurance that we had not much farther to go.
"I am starving," he remarked acidly, and I felt a little compunction.
Clearly, the first thing to do was to feed him. We were then entering the
Cannebière and as I didn't care to show myself with him in the fashionable
restaurant where a new face (and such a face, too) would be remarked, I pulled
up the fiacre at the door of the Maison Dorée. That was more of a place of
general resort where, in the multitude of casual patrons, he would pass
unnoticed.
For this last night of
carnival the big house had decorated all its balconies with rows of coloured
paper lanterns right up to the roof. I led the way to the grand salon, for as
to private rooms they had been all retained days before. There was a great
crowd of people in costume, but by a piece of good luck we managed to secure a
little table in a corner. The revellers, intent on their pleasure, paid no
attention to us. Señor Ortega trod on my heels and after sitting down opposite
me threw an ill-natured glance at the festive scene. It might have been about
half-past ten, then.
Two glasses of wine he
drank one after another did not improve his temper. He only ceased to shiver.
After he had eaten something it must have occurred to him that he had no reason
to bear me a grudge and he tried to assume a civil and even friendly manner.
His mouth, however, betrayed an abiding bitterness. I mean when he smiled. In
repose it was a very expressionless mouth, only it was too red to be altogether
ordinary. The whole of him was like that: the whiskers too black, the hair too
shiny, the forehead too white, the eyes too mobile; and he lent you his
attention with an air of eagerness which made you uncomfortable. He seemed to
expect you to give yourself away by some unconsidered word that he would snap
up with delight. It was that peculiarity that somehow put me on my guard. I had
no idea who I was facing across the table and as a matter of fact I did not
care. All my impressions were blurred; and even the promptings of my instinct
were the haziest thing imaginable. Now and then I had acute hallucinations of a
woman with an arrow of gold in her hair. This caused alternate moments of
exaltation and depression from which I tried to take refuge in conversation;
but Señor Ortega was not stimulating. He was preoccupied with personal matters.
When suddenly he asked me whether I knew why he had been called away from his
work (he had been buying supplies from peasants somewhere in Central France), I
answered that I didn't know what the reason was originally, but I had an idea
that the present intention was to make of him a courier, bearing certain
messages from Baron H. to the Quartel Real in Tolosa.
He glared at me like a
basilisk. "And why have I been met like this?" he enquired with an
air of being prepared to hear a lie.
I explained that it was
the Baron's wish, as a matter of prudence and to avoid any possible trouble
which might arise from enquiries by the police.
He took it badly.
"What nonsense." He was---he said---an employé (for several years) of
Hernandez Brothers in Paris, an importing firm, and he was travelling on their
business---as he could prove. He dived into his side pocket and produced a
handful of folded papers of all sorts which he plunged back again instantly.
And even then I didn't
know whom I had there, opposite me, busy now devouring a slice of pâté de foie
gras. Not in the least. It never entered my head. How could it? The Rita that
haunted me had no history; she was but the principle of life charged with
fatality. Her form was only a mirage of desire decoying one step by step into
despair.
Señor Ortega gulped
down some more wine and suggested I should tell him who I was. "It's only
right I should know," he added.
This could not be
gainsaid; and to a man connected with the Carlist organization the shortest way
was to introduce myself as that "Monsieur George" of whom he had
probably heard.
He leaned far over the
table, till his very breast-bone was over the edge, as though his eyes had been
stilettos and he wanted to drive them home into my brain. It was only much
later that I understood how near death I had been at that moment. But the
knives on the table-cloth were the usual restaurant knives with rounded ends
and about as deadly as pieces of hoop-iron. Perhaps in the very gust of his
fury he remembered what a French restaurant knife is like and something sane
within him made him give up the sudden project of cutting my heart out where I
sat. For it could have been nothing but a sudden impulse. His settled purpose
was quite other. It was not my heart that he was after. His fingers indeed were
groping amongst the knife handles by the side of his plate but what captivated
my attention for a moment were his red lips which were formed into an odd, sly,
insinuating smile. Heard! To be sure he had heard! The chief of the great arms
smuggling organization!
"Oh!" I said,
"that's giving me too much importance." The person responsible and
whom I looked upon as chief of all the business was, as he might have heard,
too, a certain noble and loyal lady.
"I am as noble as
she is," he snapped peevishly, and I put him down at once as a very
offensive beast. "And as to being loyal, what is that? It is being
truthful! It is being faithful! I know all about her."
I managed to preserve
an air of perfect unconcern. He wasn't a fellow to whom one could talk of Doña
Rita.
"You are a
Basque," I said.
He admitted rather
contemptuously that he was a Basque and even then the truth did not dawn upon
me. I suppose that with the hidden egoism of a lover I was thinking of myself,
of myself alone in relation to Doña Rita, not of Doña Rita herself. He, too,
obviously. He said: "I am an educated man, but I know her people, all
peasants. There is a sister, an uncle, a priest, a peasant, too, and perfectly
unenlightened. One can't expect much from a priest (I am a free-thinker of
course), but he is really too bad, more like a brute beast. As to all her
people, mostly dead now, they never were of any account. There was a little
land, but they were always working on other people's farms, a barefooted gang,
a starved lot. I ought to know because we are distant relations. Twentieth
cousins or something of the sort. Yes, I am related to that most loyal lady.
And what is she, after all, but a Parisian woman with innumerable lovers, as I
have been told."
"I don't think
your information is very correct," I said, affecting to yawn slightly.
"This is mere gossip of the gutter and I am surprised at you, who really
know nothing about it---"
But the disgusting
animal had fallen into a brown study. The hair of his very whiskers was perfectly
still. I had now given up all idea of the letter to Rita. Suddenly he spoke
again:
"Women are the
origin of all evil. One should never trust them. They have no honour. No
honour!" he repeated, striking his breast with his closed fist on which
the knuckles stood out very white. "I left my village many years ago and
of course I am perfectly satisfied with my position and I don't know why I
should trouble my head about this loyal lady. I suppose that's the way women
get on in the world."
I felt convinced that
he was no proper person to be a messenger to headquarters. He struck me as
altogether untrustworthy and perhaps not quite sane. This was confirmed by him
saying suddenly with no visible connection and as if it had been forced from
him by some agonizing process: "I was a boy once," and then stopping
dead short with a smile. He had a smile that frightened one by its association
of malice and anguish.
"Will you have
anything more to eat?" I asked.
He declined dully. He
had had enough. But he drained the last of a bottle into his glass and accepted
a cigar which I offered him. While he was lighting it I had a sort of confused
impression that he wasn't such a stranger to me as I had assumed he was; and
yet, on the other hand, I was perfectly certain I had never seen him before.
Next moment I felt that I could have knocked him down if he hadn't looked so
amazingly unhappy, while he came out with the astounding question: "Señor,
have you ever been a lover in your young days?"
"What do you
mean?" I asked. "How old do you think I am?"
"That's
true," he said, gazing at me in a way in which the damned gaze out of
their cauldrons of boiling pitch at some soul walking scot free in the place of
torment.
"It's true, you
don't seem to have anything on your mind." He assumed an air of ease,
throwing an arm over the back of his chair and blowing the smoke through the
gash of his twisted red mouth. "Tell me," he said, "between men,
you know, has this wonderful celebrity--- what does she call herself? How long
has she been your mistress?"
I reflected rapidly
that if I knocked him over, chair and all, by a sudden blow from the shoulder
it would bring about infinite complications beginning with a visit to the
Commissaire de Police on night-duty, and ending in God knows what scandal and
disclosures of political kind; because there was no telling what, or how much,
this outrageous brute might choose to say and how many people he might not
involve in a most undesirable publicity. He was smoking his cigar with a poignantly
mocking air and not even looking at me. One can't hit like that a man who isn't
even looking at one; and then, just as I was looking at him swinging his leg
with a caustic smile and stony eyes, I felt sorry for the creature. It was only
his body that was there in that chair. It was manifest to me that his soul was
absent in some hell of its own. At that moment I attained the knowledge of who
it was I had before me. This was the man of whom both Doña Rita and Rose were
so much afraid. It remained then for me to look after him for the night and
then arrange with Baron H. that he should be sent away the very next day---and
anywhere but to Tolosa. Yes, evidently, I mustn't lose sight of him. I proposed
in the calmest tone that we should go on where he could get his much-needed
rest. He rose with alacrity, picked up his little hand-bag, and, walking out
before me, no doubt looked a very ordinary person to all eyes but mine. It was
then past eleven, not much, because we had not been in that restaurant quite an
hour, but the routine of the town's night-life being upset during the Carnival
the usual row of fiacres outside the Maison Dorée was not there; in fact, there
were very few carriages about. Perhaps the coachmen had assumed Pierrot
costumes and were rushing about the streets on foot yelling with the rest of
the population. "We will have to walk," I said after a
while.---"Oh, yes, let us walk," assented Señor Ortega, "or I
will be frozen here." It was like a plaint of unutterable wretchedness. I
had a fancy that all his natural heat had abandoned his limbs and gone to his
brain. It was otherwise with me; my head was cool but I didn't find the night
really so very cold. We stepped out briskly side by side. My lucid thinking
was, as it were, enveloped by the wide shouting of the consecrated Carnival
gaiety. I have heard many noises since, but nothing that gave me such an
intimate impression of the savage instincts hidden in the breast of mankind;
these yells of festivity suggested agonizing fear, rage of murder, ferocity of
lust, and the irremediable joylessness of human condition: yet they were
emitted by people who were convinced that they were amusing themselves
supremely, traditionally, with the sanction of ages, with the approval of their
conscience---and no mistake about it whatever! Our appearance, the soberness of
our gait made us conspicuous. Once or twice, by common inspiration, masks
rushed forward and forming a circle danced round us uttering discordant shouts
of derision; for we were an outrage to the peculiar proprieties of the hour,
and besides we were obviously lonely and defenceless. On those occasions there
was nothing for it but to stand still till the flurry was over. My companion,
however, would stamp his feet with rage, and I must admit that I myself
regretted not having provided for our wearing a couple of false noses, which
would have been enough to placate the just resentment of those people. We might
have also joined in the dance, but for some reason or other it didn't occur to
us; and I heard once a high, clear woman's voice stigmatizing us for a
"species of swelled heads" (espèce d'enflés). We proceeded sedately,
my companion muttered with rage, and I was able to resume my thinking. It was
based on the deep persuasion that the man at my side was insane with quite
another than Carnivalesque lunacy which comes on at one stated time of the
year. He was fundamentally mad, though not perhaps completely; which of course
made him all the greater, I won't say danger but, nuisance.
I remember once a young
doctor expounding the theory that most catastrophes in family circles,
surprising episodes in public affairs and disasters in private life, had their
origin in the fact that the world was full of half-mad people. He asserted that
they were the real majority. When asked whether he considered himself as
belonging to the majority, he said frankly that he didn't think so; unless the
folly of voicing this view in a company, so utterly unable to appreciate all
its horror, could be regarded as the first symptom of his own fate. We shouted
down him and his theory, but there is no doubt that it had thrown a chill on
the gaiety of our gathering.
We had now entered a
quieter quarter of the town and Señor Ortega had ceased his muttering. For
myself I had not the slightest doubt of my own sanity. It was proved to me by
the way I could apply my intelligence to the problem of what was to be done
with Señor Ortega. Generally, he was unfit to be trusted with any mission
whatever. The unstability of his temper was sure to get him into a scrape. Of
course carrying a letter to Headquarters was not a very complicated matter; and
as to that I would have trusted willingly a properly trained dog. My private
letter to Doña Rita, the wonderful, the unique letter of farewell, I had given
up for the present. Naturally I thought of the Ortega problem mainly in the
terms of Doña Rita's safety. Her image presided at every council, at every
conflict of my mind, and dominated every faculty of my senses. It floated
before my eyes, it touched my elbow, it guarded my right side and my left side;
my ears seemed to catch the sound of her footsteps behind me, she enveloped me
with passing whiffs of warmth and perfume, with filmy touches of the hair on my
face. She penetrated me, my head was full of her . . . And his head, too, I
thought suddenly with a side glance at my companion. He walked quietly with
hunched-up shoulders carrying his little hand-bag and he looked the most
commonplace figure imaginable.
Yes. There was between
us a most horrible fellowship the association of his crazy torture with the
sublime suffering of my passion. We hadn't been a quarter of an hour together
when that woman had surged up fatally between us; between this miserable wretch
and myself. We were haunted by the same image. But I was sane! I was sane! Not
because I was certain that the fellow must not be allowed to go to Tolosa, but
because I was perfectly alive to the difficulty of stopping him from going
there, since the decision was absolutely in the hands of Baron H.
If I were to go early
in the morning and tell that fat, bilious man: "Look here, your Ortega's
mad," he would certainly think at once that I was, get very frightened,
and . . . one couldn't tell what course he would take. He would eliminate me
somehow out of the affair. And yet I could not let the fellow proceed to where
Doña Rita was, because, obviously, he had been molesting her, had filled her
with uneasiness and even alarm, was an unhappy element and a disturbing
influence in her life--- incredible as the thing appeared! I couldn't let him
go on to make himself a worry and a nuisance, drive her out from a town in
which she wished to be (for whatever reason) and perhaps start some explosive
scandal. And that girl Rose seemed to fear something graver even than a
scandal. But if I were to explain the matter fully to H. he would simply
rejoice in his heart. Nothing would please him more than to have Doña Rita
driven out of Tolosa. What a relief from his anxieties (and his wife's, too);
and if I were to go further, if I even went so far as to hint at the fears
which Rose had not been able to conceal from me, why then---I went on thinking
coldly with a stoical rejection of the most elementary faith in mankind's
rectitude---why then, that accommodating husband would simply let the ominous
messenger have his chance. He would see there only his natural anxieties being
laid to rest for ever. Horrible? Yes. But I could not take the risk. In a
twelvemonth I had travelled a long way in my mistrust of mankind.
We paced on steadily. I
thought: "How on earth am I going to stop you?" Had this arisen only
a month before, when I had the means at hand and Dominic to confide in, I would
have simply kidnapped the fellow. A little trip to sea would not have done Señor
Ortega any harm; though no doubt it would have been abhorrent to his feelings.
But now I had not the means. I couldn't even tell where my poor Dominic was
hiding his diminished head.
Again I glanced at him
sideways. I was the taller of the two and as it happened I met in the light of
the street lamp his own stealthy glance directed up at me with an agonized
expression, an expression that made me fancy I could see the man's very soul
writhing in his body like an impaled worm. In spite of my utter inexperience I
had some notion of the images that rushed into his mind at the sight of any man
who had approached Doña Rita. It was enough to awaken in any human being a
movement of horrified compassion; but my pity went out not to him but to Doña
Rita. It was for her that I felt sorry; I pitied her for having that damned
soul on her track. I pitied her with tenderness and indignation, as if this had
been both a danger and a dishonour.
I don't mean to say
that those thoughts passed through my head consciously. I had only the
resultant, settled feeling. I had, however, a thought, too. It came on me
suddenly, and I asked myself with rage and astonishment: "Must I then kill
that brute?" There didn't seem to be any alternative. Between him and Doña
Rita I couldn't hesitate. I believe I gave a slight laugh of desperation. The
suddenness of this sinister conclusion had in it something comic and
unbelievable. It loosened my grip on my mental processes. A Latin tag came into
my head about the facile descent into the abyss. I marvelled at its aptness,
and also that it should have come to me so pat. But I believe now that it was
suggested simply by the actual declivity of the street of the Consuls which
lies on a gentle slope. We had just turned the corner. All the houses were dark
and in a perspective of complete solitude our two shadows dodged and wheeled
about our feet.
"Here we
are," I said.
He was an
extraordinarily chilly devil. When we stopped I could hear his teeth chattering
again. I don't know what came over me, I had a sort of nervous fit, was
incapable of finding my pockets, let alone the latchkey. I had the illusion of
a narrow streak of light on the wall of the house as if it had been cracked.
"I hope we will be able to get in," I murmured.
Señor Ortega stood
waiting patiently with his handbag, like a rescued wayfarer. "But you live
in this house, don't you?" he observed.
"No," I said,
without hesitation. I didn't know how that man would behave if he were aware
that I was staying under the same roof. He was half mad. He might want to talk
all night, try crazily to invade my privacy. How could I tell? Moreover, I
wasn't so sure that I would remain in the house. I had some notion of going out
again and walking up and down the street of the Consuls till daylight.
"No, an absent friend lets me use . . . I had that latchkey this morning .
. . Ah! here it is."
I let him go in first.
The sickly gas flame was there on duty, undaunted, waiting for the end of the
world to come and put it out. I think that the black-and-white hall surprised
Ortega. I had closed the front door without noise and stood for a moment
listening, while he glanced about furtively. There were only two other doors in
the hall, right and left. Their panels of ebony were decorated with bronze
applications in the centre. The one on the left was of course Blunt's door. As
the passage leading beyond it was dark at the further end I took Señor Ortega
by the hand and led him along, unresisting, like a child. For some reason or
other I moved on tip-toe and he followed my example. The light and the warmth
of the studio impressed him favourably; he laid down his little bag, rubbed his
hands together, and produced a smile of satisfaction; but it was such a smile
as a totally ruined man would perhaps force on his lips, or a man condemned to
a short shrift by his doctor. I begged him to make himself at home and said
that I would go at once and hunt up the woman of the house who would make him
up a bed on the big couch there. He hardly listened to what I said. What were
all those things to him! He knew that his destiny was to sleep on a bed of
thorns, to feed on adders. But he tried to show a sort of polite interest. He
asked: "What is this place?"
"It used to belong
to a painter," I mumbled.
"Ah, your absent
friend," he said, making a wry mouth. "I detest all those artists,
and all those writers, and all politicos who are thieves; and I would go even
farther and higher, laying a curse on all idle lovers of women. You think
perhaps I am a Royalist? No. If there was anybody in heaven or hell to pray to
I would pray for a revolution---a red revolution everywhere."
"You astonish
me," I said, just to say something.
"No! But there are
half a dozen people in the world with whom I would like to settle accounts. One
could shoot them like partridges and no questions asked. That's what revolution
would mean to me."
"It's a beautifully
simple view," I said. "I imagine you are not the only one who holds
it; but I really must look after your comforts. You mustn't forget that we have
to see Baron H. early to-morrow morning." And I went out quietly into the
passage wondering in what part of the house Therese had elected to sleep that
night. But, lo and behold, when I got to the foot of the stairs there was
Therese coming down from the upper regions in her nightgown, like a
sleep-walker. However, it wasn't that, because, before I could exclaim, she
vanished off the first floor landing like a streak of white mist and without
the slightest sound. Her attire made it perfectly clear that she could not have
heard us coming in. In fact, she must have been certain that the house was
empty, because she was as well aware as myself that the Italian girls after
their work at the opera were going to a masked ball to dance for their own
amusement, attended of course by their conscientious father. But what thought,
need, or sudden impulse had driven Therese out of bed like this was something I
couldn't conceive.
I didn't call out after
her. I felt sure that she would return. I went up slowly to the first floor and
met her coming down again, this time carrying a lighted candle. She had managed
to make herself presentable in an extraordinarily short time.
"Oh, my dear young
Monsieur, you have given me a fright."
"Yes. And I nearly
fainted, too," I said. "You looked perfectly awful. What's the matter
with you? Are you ill?"
She had lighted by then
the gas on the landing and I must say that I had never seen exactly that manner
of face on her before. She wriggled, confused and shifty-eyed, before me; but I
ascribed this behaviour to her shocked modesty and without troubling myself any
more about her feelings I informed her that there was a Carlist downstairs who
must be put up for the night. Most unexpectedly she betrayed a ridiculous
consternation, but only for a moment. Then she assumed at once that I would
give him hospitality upstairs where there was a camp-bedstead in my
dressing-room. I said:
"No. Give him a
shake-down in the studio, where he is now. It's warm in there. And remember! I
charge you strictly not to let him know that I sleep in this house. In fact, I
don't know myself that I will; I have certain matters to attend to this very
night. You will also have to serve him his coffee in the morning. I will take
him away before ten o'clock."
All this seemed to
impress her more than I had expected. As usual when she felt curious, or in
some other way excited, she assumed a saintly, detached expression, and asked:
"The dear
gentleman is your friend, I suppose?"
"I only know he is
a Spaniard and a Carlist," I said: "and that ought to be enough for
you."
Instead of the usual
effusive exclamations she murmured: "Dear me, dear me," and departed
upstairs with the candle to get together a few blankets and pillows, I suppose.
As for me I walked quietly downstairs on my way to the studio. I had a curious
sensation that I was acting in a preordained manner, that life was not at all
what I had thought it to be, or else that I had been altogether changed
sometime during the day, and that I was a different person from the man whom I
remembered getting out of my bed in the morning.
Also feelings had altered
all their values. The words, too, had become strange. It was only the inanimate
surroundings that remained what they had always been. For instance the studio.
During my absence Señor
Ortega had taken off his coat and I found him as it were in the air, sitting in
his shirt sleeves on a chair which he had taken pains to place in the very
middle of the floor. I repressed an absurd impulse to walk round him as though
he had been some sort of exhibit. His hands were spread over his knees and he
looked perfectly insensible. I don't mean strange, or ghastly, or wooden, but
just insensible---like an exhibit. And that effect persisted even after he
raised his black suspicious eyes to my face. He lowered them almost at once. It
was very mechanical. I gave him up and became rather concerned about myself. My
thought was that I had better get out of that before any more queer notions
came into my head. So I only remained long enough to tell him that the woman of
the house was bringing down some bedding and that I hoped that he would have a
good night's rest. And directly I spoke it struck me that this was the most
extraordinary speech that ever was addressed to a figure of that sort. He,
however, did not seem startled by it or moved in any way. He simply said:
"Thank you."
In the darkest part of
the long passage outside I met Therese with her arms full of pillows and
blankets.
Coming out of the
bright light of the studio I didn't make out Therese very distinctly. She,
however, having groped in dark cupboards, must have had her pupils sufficiently
dilated to have seen that I had my hat on my head. This has its importance
because after what I had said to her upstairs it must have convinced her that I
was going out on some midnight business. I passed her without a word and heard
behind me the door of the studio close with an unexpected crash. It strikes me
now that under the circumstances I might have without shame gone back to listen
at the keyhole. But truth to say the association of events was not so clear in
my mind as it may be to the reader of this story. Neither were the exact
connections of persons present to my mind. And, besides, one doesn't listen at
a keyhole but in pursuance of some plan; unless one is afflicted by a vulgar
and fatuous curiosity. But that vice is not in my character. As to plan, I had
none. I moved along the passage between the dead wall and the black-and-white
marble elevation of the staircase with hushed footsteps, as though there had
been a mortally sick person somewhere in the house. And the only person that
could have answered to that description was Señor Ortega. I moved on, stealthy,
absorbed, undecided; asking myself earnestly: "What on earth am I going to
do with him?" That exclusive preoccupation of my mind was as dangerous to
Señor Ortega as typhoid fever would have been. It strikes me that this
comparison is very exact. People recover from typhoid fever, but generally the
chance is considered poor. This was precisely his case. His chance was poor;
though I had no more animosity towards him than a virulent disease has against
the victim it lays low. He really would have nothing to reproach me with; he
had run up against me, unwittingly, as a man enters an infected place, and now
he was very ill, very ill indeed. No, I had no plans against him. I had only
the feeling that he was in mortal danger.
I believe that men of
the most daring character (and I make no claim to it) often do shrink from the
logical processes of thought. It is only the devil, they say, that loves logic.
But I was not a devil. I was not even a victim of the devil. It was only that I
had given up the direction of my intelligence before the problem; or rather
that the problem had dispossessed my intelligence and reigned in its stead side
by side with a superstitious awe. A dreadful order seemed to lurk in the
darkest shadows of life. The madness of that Carlist with the soul of a
Jacobin, the vile fears of Baron H., that excellent organizer of supplies, the
contact of their two ferocious stupidities, and last, by a remote disaster at
sea, my love brought into direct contact with the situation: all that was
enough to make one shudder---not at the chance, but at the design.
For it was my love that
was called upon to act here, and nothing else. And love which elevates us above
all safeguards, above restraining principles, above all littlenesses of
self-possession, yet keeps its feet always firmly on earth, remains
marvellously practical in its suggestions.
I discovered that
however much I had imagined I had given up Rita, that whatever agonies I had
gone through, my hope of her had never been lost. Plucked out, stamped down,
torn to shreds, it had remained with me secret, intact, invincible. Before the
danger of the situation it sprang, full of life, up in arms---the undying child
of immortal love. What incited me was independent of honour and compassion; it
was the prompting of a love supreme, practical, remorseless in its aim; it was
the practical thought that no woman need be counted as lost for ever, unless
she be dead!
This excluded for the
moment all considerations of ways and means and risks and difficulties. Its
tremendous intensity robbed it of all direction and left me adrift in the big
black-and-white hall as on a silent sea. It was not, properly speaking,
irresolution. It was merely hesitation as to the next immediate step, and that
step even of no great importance: hesitation merely as to the best way I could
spend the rest of the night. I didn't think further forward for many reasons,
more or less optimistic, but mainly because I have no homicidal vein in my
composition. The disposition to gloat over homicide was in that miserable
creature in the studio, the potential Jacobin; in that confounded buyer of
agricultural produce, the punctual employé of Hernandez Brothers, the jealous
wretch with an obscene tongue and an imagination of the same kind to drive him
mad. I thought of him without pity but also without contempt. I reflected that
there were no means of sending a warning to Doña Rita in Tolosa; for of course
no postal communication existed with the Headquarters. And moreover what would
a warning be worth in this particular case, supposing it would reach her, that
she would believe it, and that she would know what to do? How could I
communicate to another that certitude which was in my mind, the more absolute
because without proofs that one could produce?
The last expression of
Rose's distress rang again in my ears: "Madame has no friends. Not
one!" and I saw Doña Rita's complete loneliness beset by all sorts of
insincerities, surrounded by pitfalls; her greatest dangers within herself, in
her generosity, in her fears, in her courage, too. What I had to do first of
all was to stop that wretch at all costs. I became aware of a great mistrust of
Therese. I didn't want her to find me in the hall, but I was reluctant to go
upstairs to my rooms from an unreasonable feeling that there I would be too
much out of the way; not sufficiently on the spot. There was the alternative of
a live-long night of watching outside, before the dark front of the house. It
was a most distasteful prospect. And then it occurred to me that Blunt's former
room would be an extremely good place to keep a watch from. I knew that room.
When Henry Allègre gave the house to Rita in the early days (long before he
made his will) he had planned a complete renovation and this room had been
meant for the drawing-room. Furniture had been made for it specially,
upholstered in beautiful ribbed stuff, made to order, of dull gold colour with
a pale blue tracery of arabesques and oval medallions enclosing Rita's
monogram, repeated on the backs of chairs and sofas, and on the heavy curtains
reaching from ceiling to floor. To the same time belonged the ebony and bronze
doors, the silver statuette at the foot of the stairs, the forged iron
balustrade reproducing right up the marble staircase Rita's decorative monogram
in its complicated design. Afterwards the work was stopped and the house had
fallen into disrepair. When Rita devoted it to the Carlist cause a bed was put
into that drawing-room, just simply the bed. The room next to that yellow salon
had been in Allègre's young days fitted as a fencing-room containing also a
bath, and a complicated system of all sorts of shower and jet arrangements,
then quite up to date. That room was very large, lighted from the top, and one
wall of it was covered by trophies of arms of all sorts, a choice collection of
cold steel disposed on a background of Indian mats and rugs: Blunt used it as a
dressing-room. It communicated by a small door with the studio.
I had only to extend my
hand and make one step to reach the magnificent bronze handle of the ebony
door, and if I didn't want to be caught by Therese there was no time to lose. I
made the step and extended the hand, thinking that it would be just like my
luck to find the door locked. But the door came open to my push. In contrast to
the dark hall the room was most unexpectedly dazzling to my eyes, as if
illuminated a giorno for a reception. No voice came from it, but nothing could
have stopped me now. As I turned round to shut the door behind me noiselessly I
caught sight of a woman's dress on a chair, of other articles of apparel
scattered about. The mahogany bed with a piece of light silk which Therese
found somewhere and used for a counterpane was a magnificent combination of
white and crimson between the gleaming surfaces of dark wood; and the whole
room had an air of splendour with marble consoles, gilt carvings, long mirrors
and a sumptuous Venetian lustre depending from the ceiling: a darkling mass of
icy pendants catching a spark here and there from the candles of an
eight-branched candelabra standing on a little table near the head of a sofa
which had been dragged round to face the fireplace. The faintest possible whiff
of a familiar perfume made my head swim with its suggestion.
I grabbed the back of
the nearest piece of furniture and the splendour of marbles and mirrors, of cut
crystals and carvings, swung before my eyes in the golden mist of walls and
draperies round an extremely conspicuous pair of black stockings thrown over a
music stool which remained motionless. The silence was profound. It was like
being in an enchanted place. Suddenly a voice began to speak, clear, detached,
infinitely touching in its calm weariness.
"Haven't you
tormented me enough to-day?" it said. My head was steady now but my heart
began to beat violently. I listened to the end without moving.
"Can't you make up
your mind to leave me alone for to-night?" It pleaded with an accent of
charitable scorn.
The penetrating quality
of these tones which I had not heard for so many, many days made my eyes run
full of tears. I guessed easily that the appeal was addressed to the atrocious
Therese. The speaker was concealed from me by the high back of the sofa, but
her apprehension was perfectly justified. For was it not I who had turned back
Therese the pious, the insatiable, coming downstairs in her nightgown to
torment her sister some more? Mere surprise at Doña Rita's presence in the
house was enough to paralyze me; but I was also overcome by an enormous sense
of relief, by the assurance of security for her and for myself. I didn't even
ask myself how she came there. It was enough for me that she was not in Tolosa.
I could have smiled at the thought that all I had to do now was to hasten the
departure of that abominable lunatic--- for Tolosa: an easy task, almost no
task at all. Yes, I would have smiled, had not I felt outraged by the presence
of Señor Ortega under the same roof with Doña Rita. The mere fact was repugnant
to me, morally revolting; so that I should have liked to rush at him and throw
him out into the street. But that was not to be done for various reasons. One
of them was pity. I was suddenly at peace with all mankind, with all nature. I
felt as if I couldn't hurt a fly. The intensity of my emotion sealed my lips.
With a fearful joy tugging at my heart I moved round the head of the couch
without a word.
In the wide fireplace
on a pile of white ashes the logs had a deep crimson glow; and turned towards
them Doña Rita reclined on her side enveloped in the skins of wild beasts like
a charming and savage young chieftain before a camp fire. She never even raised
her eyes, giving me the opportunity to contemplate mutely that adolescent,
delicately masculine head, so mysteriously feminine in the power of instant
seduction, so infinitely suave in its firm design, almost childlike in the
freshness of detail altogether ravishing in the inspired strength of the
modelling. That precious head reposed in the palm of her hand; the face was
slightly flushed (with anger perhaps). She kept her eyes obstinately fixed on
the pages of a book which she was holding with her other hand. I had the time
to lay my infinite adoration at her feet whose white insteps gleamed below the
dark edge of the fur out of quilted blue silk bedroom slippers, embroidered
with small pearls. I had never seen them before; I mean the slippers. The gleam
of the insteps, too, for that matter. I lost myself in a feeling of deep
content, something like a foretaste of a time of felicity which must be quiet
or it couldn't be eternal. I had never tasted such perfect quietness before. It
was not of this earth. I had gone far beyond. It was as if I had reached the
ultimate wisdom beyond all dreams and all passions. She was That which is to be
contemplated to all Infinity.
The perfect stillness
and silence made her raise her eyes at last, reluctantly, with a hard,
defensive expression which I had never seen in them before. And no wonder! The
glance was meant for Therese and assumed in self-defence. For some time its
character did not change and when it did it turned into a perfectly stony stare
of a kind which I also had never seen before She had never wished so much to be
left in peace. She had never been so astonished in her life. She had arrived by
the evening express only two hours before Señor Ortega, had driven to the
house, and after having something to eat had become for the rest of the evening
the helpless prey of her sister who had fawned and scolded and wheedled and
threatened in a way that outraged all Rita's feelings. Seizing this unexpected
occasion Therese had displayed a distracting versatility of sentiment:
rapacity, virtue, piety, spite, and false tenderness---while,
characteristically enough, she unpacked the dressing-bag, helped the sinner to
get ready for bed, brushed her hair, and finally, as a climax, kissed her
hands, partly by surprise and partly by violence. After that she had retired
from the field of battle slowly, undefeated, still defiant, firing as a last
shot the impudent question: "Tell me only, have you made your will,
Rita?" To this poor Doña Rita with the spirit of opposition strung to the
highest pitch answered: "No, and I don't mean to"--- being under the
impression that this was what her sister wanted her to do. There can be no
doubt, however, that all Therese wanted was the information.
Rita, much too agitated
to expect anything but a sleepless night, had not the courage to get into bed.
She thought she would remain on the sofa before the fire and try to compose
herself with a hook. As she had no dressing-gown with her she put on her long
fur coat over her night-gown, threw some logs on the fire, and lay down. She
didn't hear the slightest noise of any sort till she heard me shut the door
gently. Quietness of movement was one of Therese's accomplishments, and the
harassed heiress of the Allègre millions naturally thought it was her sister
coming again to renew the scene. Her heart sank within her. In the end she
became a little frightened at the long silence, and raised her eyes. She didn't
believe them for a long time. She concluded that I was a vision. In fact, the
first word which I heard her utter was a low, awed "No," which,
though I understood its meaning, chilled my blood like an evil omen.
It was then that I
spoke. "Yes," I said, "it's me that you see," and made a
step forward. She didn't start; only her other hand flew to the edges of the
fur coat, gripping them together over her breast. Observing this gesture I sat
down in the nearest chair. The book she had been reading slipped with a thump
on the floor.
"How is it
possible that you should be here?" she said, still in a doubting voice.
"I am really
here," I said. "Would you like to touch my hand?"
She didn't move at all;
her fingers still clutched the fur coat.
"What has
happened?'
"It's a long
story, but you may take it from me that all is over. The tie between us is
broken. I don't know that it was ever very close. It was an external thing. The
true misfortune is that I have ever seen you."
This last phrase was
provoked by an exclamation of sympathy on her part. She raised herself on her elbow
and looked at me intently. "All over," she murmured.
"Yes, we had to
wreck the little vessel. It was awful. I feel like a murderer. But she had to
be killed."
"Why?"
"Because I loved
her too much. Don't you know that love and death go very close together?"
"I could feel
almost happy that it is all over, if you hadn't had to lose your love. Oh,
amigo George, it was a safe love for you."
"Yes," I
said. "It was a faithful little vessel. She would have saved us all from
any plain danger. But this was a betrayal. It was---never mind. All that's
past. The question is what will the next one be."
"Why should it be
that?"
"I don't know.
Life seems but a series of betrayals. There are so many kinds of them. This was
a betrayed plan, but one can betray confidence, and hope and-desire, and the
most sacred . . ."
"But what are you
doing here?" she interrupted.
"Oh, yes! The
eternal why. Till a few hours ago I didn't know what I was here for. And what
are you here for?" I asked point blank and with a bitterness she
disregarded. She even answered my question quite readily with many words out of
which I could make very little. I only learned that for at least five mixed
reasons, none of which impressed me profoundly, Doña Rita had started at a
moment's notice from Paris with nothing but a dressing-bag, and permitting Rose
to go and visit her aged parents for two days, and then follow her mistress.
That girl of late had looked so perturbed and worried that the sensitive Rita,
fearing that she was tired of her place, proposed to settle a sum of money on
her which would have enabled her to devote herself entirely to her aged
parents. And did I know what that extraordinary girl said? She had said:
"Don't let Madame think that I would be too proud to accept anything
whatever from her; but I can't even dream of leaving Madame. I believe Madame
has no friends. Not one." So instead of a large sum of money Doña Rita
gave the girl a kiss and as she had been worried by several people who wanted
her to go to Tolosa she bolted down this way just to get clear of all those
busybodies. "Hide from them," she went on with ardour. "Yes, I
came here to hide," she repeated twice as if delighted at last to have hit
on that reason among so many others. "How could I tell that you would be
here?" Then with sudden fire which only added to the delight with which I
had been watching the play of her physiognomy she added:---"Why did you
come into this room?"
She enchanted me. The
ardent modulations of the sound, the slight play of the beautiful lips, the
still, deep sapphire gleam in those long eyes inherited from the dawn of ages
and that seemed always to watch unimaginable things, that underlying faint
ripple of gaiety that played under all her moods as though it had been a gift
from the high gods moved to pity for this lonely mortal, all this within the
four walls and displayed for me alone gave me the sense of almost intolerable
joy. The words didn't matter. They had to be answered, of course.
"I came in for
several reasons. One of them is that I didn't know you were here."
"Therese didn't
tell you?"
"No."
"Never talked to
you about me?"
I hesitated only for a
moment. "Never," I said. Then I asked in my turn, "Did she tell
you I was here?"
"No," she
said.
"It's very clear
she did not mean us to come together again."
"Neither did I, my
dear."
"What do you mean
by speaking like this, in this tone, in these words? You seem to use them as if
they were a sort of formula. Am I a dear to you? Or is anybody? . . . or
everybody? . . ."
She had been for some
time raised on her elbow, but then as if something had happened to her vitality
she sank down till her head rested again on the sofa cushion.
"Why do you try to
hurt my feelings?" she asked.
"For the same
reason for which you call me dear at the end of a sentence like that: for want
of something more amusing to do. You don't pretend to make me believe that you
do it for any sort of reason that a decent person would confess to."
The colour had gone
from her face; but a fit of wickedness was on me and I pursued, "What are
the motives of your speeches? What prompts your actions? On your own showing
your life seems to be a continuous running away. You have just run away from
Paris. Where will you run to-morrow? What are you everlastingly running
from---or is it that you are running after something? What is it? A man, a
phantom---or some sensation that you don't like to own to?"
Truth to say, I was
abashed by the silence which was her only answer to this sally. I said to
myself that I would not let my natural anger, my just fury be disarmed by any
assumption of pathos or dignity. I suppose I was really out of my mind and what
in the middle ages would have been called "possessed" by an evil
spirit. I went on enjoying my own villainy.
"Why aren't you in
Tolosa? You ought to be in Tolosa. Isn't Tolosa the proper field for your
abilities, for your sympathies, for your profusions, for your generosities---
the king without a crown, the man without a fortune! But here there is nothing
worthy of your talents. No, there is no longer anything worth any sort of
trouble here. There isn't even that ridiculous Monsieur George. I understand
that the talk of the coast from here to Cette is that Monsieur George is
drowned. Upon my word I believe he is. And serve him right, too. There's
Therese, but I don't suppose that your love for your sister . . ."
"For goodness'
sake don't let her come in and find you here."
Those words recalled me
to myself, exorcised the evil spirit by the mere enchanting power of the voice.
They were also impressive by their suggestion of something practical,
utilitarian, and remote from sentiment. The evil spirit left me and I remained
taken aback slightly.
"Well," I
said, "if you mean that you want me to leave the room I will confess to
you that I can't very well do it yet. But I could lock both doors if you don't
mind that."
"Do what you like
as long as you keep her out. You two together would be too much for me
to-night. Why don't you go and lock those doors? I have a feeling she is on the
prowl."
I got up at once
saying, "I imagine she has gone to bed by this time." I felt
absolutely calm and responsible. I turned the keys one after another so gently
that I couldn't hear the click of the locks myself. This done I recrossed the
room with measured steps, with downcast eyes, and approaching the couch without
raising them from the carpet I sank down on my knees and leaned my forehead on
its edge. That penitential attitude had but little remorse in it. I detected no
movement and heard no sound from her. In one place a bit of the fur coat
touched my cheek softly, but no forgiving hand came to rest on my bowed head. I
only breathed deeply the faint scent of violets, her own particular fragrance
enveloping my body, penetrating my very heart with an inconceivable intimacy,
bringing me closer to her than the closest embrace, and yet so subtle that I
sensed her existence in me only as a great, glowing, indeterminate tenderness,
something like the evening light disclosing after the white passion of the day
infinite depths in the colours of the sky and an unsuspected soul of peace in
the protean forms of life. I had not known such quietness for months; and I
detected in myself an immense fatigue, a longing to remain where I was without
changing my position to the end of time. Indeed to remain seemed to me a
complete solution for all the problems that life presents---even as to the very
death itself.
Only the unwelcome
reflection that this was impossible made me get up at last with a sigh of deep
grief at the end of the dream. But I got up without despair. She didn't murmur,
she didn't stir. There was something august in the stillness of the room. It
was a strange peace which she shared with me in this unexpected shelter full of
disorder in its neglected splendour. What troubled me was the sudden, as it
were material, consciousness of time passing as water flows. It seemed to me
that it was only the tenacity of my sentiment that held that woman's body,
extended and tranquil above the flood. But when I ventured at last to look at
her face I saw her flushed, her teeth clenched---it was visible ---her nostrils
dilated, and in her narrow, level-glancing eyes a look of inward and frightened
ecstasy. The edges of the fur coat had fallen open and I was moved to turn
away. I had the same impression as on the evening we parted that something had
happened which I did not understand; only this time I had not touched her at
all. I really didn't understand. At the slightest whisper I would now have gone
out without a murmur, as though that emotion had given her the right to be
obeyed. But there was no whisper; and for a long time I stood leaning on my
arm, looking into the fire and feeling distinctly between the four walls of
that locked room the unchecked time flow past our two stranded personalities.
And suddenly she spoke.
She spoke in that voice that was so profoundly moving without ever being sad, a
little wistful perhaps and always the supreme expression of her grace. She
asked as if nothing had happened:
"What are you
thinking of, amigo?"
I turned about. She was
lying on her side, tranquil above the smooth flow of time, again closely
wrapped up in her fur, her head resting on the old-gold sofa cushion bearing
like everything else in that room the decoratively enlaced letters of her
monogram; her face a little pale now, with the crimson lobe of her ear under
the tawny mist of her loose hair, the lips a little parted, and her glance of
melted sapphire level and motionless, darkened by fatigue.
"Can I think of
anything but you?" I murmured, taking a seat near the foot of the couch.
"Or rather it isn't thinking, it is more like the consciousness of you
always being present in me, complete to the last hair, to the faintest shade of
expression, and that not only when we are apart but when we are together,
alone, as close as this. I see you now lying on this couch but that is only the
insensible phantom of the real you that is in me. And it is the easier for me
to feel this because that image which others see and call by your name---how am
I to know that it is anything else but an enchanting mist? You have always
eluded me except in one or two moments which seem still more dream-like than
the rest. Since I came into this room you have done nothing to destroy my
conviction of your unreality apart from myself. You haven't offered me your
hand to touch. Is it because you suspect that apart from me you are but a mere
phantom, and that you fear to put it to the test?"
One of her hands was
under the fur and the other under her cheek. She made no sound. She didn't
offer to stir. She didn't move her eyes, not even after I had added after
waiting for a while,
"Just what I
expected. You are a cold illusion."
She smiled mysteriously,
right away from me, straight at the fire, and that was all.
I had a momentary
suspicion that I had said something stupid. Her smile amongst many other things
seemed to have meant that, too. And I answered it with a certain resignation
"Well, I don't
know that you are so much mist. I remember once hanging on to you like a
drowning man . . . But perhaps I had better not speak of this. It wasn't so
very long ago, and you may . . ."
"I don't mind.
Well . . ."
"Well, I have kept
an impression of great solidity. I'll admit that. A woman of granite."
"A doctor once
told me that I was made to last for ever," she said.
"But essentially
it's the same thing," I went on. "Granite, too, is insensible."
I watched her profile
against the pillow and there came on her face an expression I knew well when
with an indignation full of suppressed laughter she used to throw at me the
word "Imbecile." I expected it to come, but it didn't come. I must
say, though, that I was swimmy in my head and now and then had a noise as of
the sea in my ears, so I might not have heard it. The woman of granite, built
to last for ever, continued to look at the glowing logs which made a sort of
fiery ruin on the white pile of ashes. "I will tell you how it is," I
said. "When I have you before my eyes there is such a projection of my
whole being towards you that I fail to see you distinctly. It was like that
from the beginning. I may say that I never saw you distinctly till after we had
parted and I thought you had gone from my sight for ever. It was then that you
took body in my imagination and that my mind seized on a definite form of you
for all its adorations---for its profanations, too. Don't imagine me grovelling
in spiritual abasement before a mere image. I got a grip on you that nothing
can shake now."
"Don't speak like
this," she said. "It's too much for me. And there is a whole long
night before us."
"You don't think
that I dealt with you sentimentally enough perhaps? But the sentiment was
there; as clear a flame as ever burned on earth from the most remote ages
before that eternal thing which is in you, which is your heirloom. And is it my
fault that what I had to give was real flame, and not a mystic's incense? It is
neither your fault nor mine. And now whatever we say to each other at night or
in daylight, that sentiment must be taken for granted. It will be there on the
day I die ---when you won't be there."
She continued to look
fixedly at the red embers; and from her lips that hardly moved came the
quietest possible whisper "Nothing would be easier than to die for
you."
"Really," I
cried. "And you expect me perhaps after this to kiss your feet in a
transport of gratitude while I hug the pride of your words to my breast. But as
it happens there is nothing in me but contempt for this sublime declaration.
How dare you offer me this charlatanism of passion? What has it got to do
between you and me who are the only two beings in the world that may safely say
that we have no need of shams between ourselves? Is it possible that you are a
charlatan at heart? Not from egoism, I admit, but from some sort of fear. Yet,
should you be sincere, then---listen well to me---I would never forgive you. I
would visit your grave every day to curse you for an evil thing."
"Evil thing,"
she echoed softly.
"Would you prefer
to be a sham---that one could forget?"
"You will never
forget me," she said in the same tone at the glowing embers. "Evil or
good. But, my dear, I feel neither an evil nor a sham. I have got to be what I
am, and that, amigo, is not so easy; because I may be simple, but like all
those on whom there is no peace I am not One. No, I am not One!"
"You are all the
women in the world," I whispered bending over her. She didn't seem to be
aware of anything and only spoke---always to the glow.
"If I were that I
would say: God help them then. But that would be more appropriate for Therese.
For me, I can only give them my infinite compassion. I have too much reverence
in me to invoke the name of a God of whom clever men have robbed me a long time
ago. How could I help it? For the talk was clever and ---and I had a mind. And
I am also, as Therese says, naturally sinful. Yes, my dear, I may be naturally
wicked but I am not evil and I could die for you."
"You!" I
said. "You are afraid to die."
"Yes. But not for
you."
The whole structure of
glowing logs fell down, raising a small turmoil of white ashes and sparks. The
tiny crash seemed to wake her up thoroughly. She turned her head upon the
cushion to look at me.
"It's a very
extraordinary thing, we two coming together like this," she said with
conviction. "You coming in without knowing I was here and then telling me
that you can't very well go out of the room. That sounds funny. I wouldn't have
been angry if you had said that you wouldn't. It would have hurt me. But nobody
ever paid much attention to my feelings. Why do you smile like this?"
"At a thought.
Without any charlatanism of passion I am able to tell you of something to match
your devotion. I was not afraid for your sake to come within a hair's breadth
of what to all the world would have been a squalid crime. Note that you and I
are persons of honour. And there might have been a criminal trial at the end of
it for me. Perhaps the scaffold."
"Do you say these
horrors to make me tremble?"
"Oh, you needn't
tremble. There shall be no crime. I need not risk the scaffold, since now you
are safe. But I entered this room meditating resolutely on the ways of murder,
calculating possibilities and chances without the slightest compunction. It's
all over now. It was all over directly I saw you here, but it had been so near
that I shudder yet."
She must have been very
startled because for a time she couldn't speak. Then in a faint voice:
"For me! For
me!" she faltered out twice.
"For you---or for
myself? Yet it couldn't have been selfish. What would it have been to me that
you remained in the world? I never expected to see you again. I even composed a
most beautiful letter of farewell. Such a letter as no woman have ever
received."
Instantly she shot out
a hand towards me. The edges of the fur cloak fell apart. A wave of the
faintest possible scent floated into my nostrils.
"Let me have
it," she said imperiously.
"You can't have
it. It's all in my head. No woman will read it. I suspect it was something that
could never have been written. But what a farewell! And now I suppose we shall
say good-bye without even a handshake. But you are safe! Only I must ask you
not to come out of this room till I tell you you may."
I was extremely anxious
that Señor Ortega should never even catch a glimpse of Doña Rita, never guess
how near he had been to her. I was extremely anxious the fellow should depart
for Tolosa and get shot in a ravine; or go to the Devil in his own way, as long
as he lost the track of Doña Rita completely. He then, probably, would get mad
and get shut up, or else get cured, forget all about it, and devote himself to
his vocation, whatever it was---keep a shop and grow fat. All this flashed
through my mind in an instant and while I was still dazzled by those comforting
images, the voice of Doña Rita pulled me up with a jerk.
"You mean not out
of the house?"
"No, I mean not
out of this room," I said with some embarrassment.
"What do you mean?
Is there something in the house then? This is most extraordinary! Stay in this
room? And you, too, it seems? Are you also afraid for yourself?"
"I can't even give
you an idea how afraid I was. I am not so much now. But you know very well, Doña
Rita, that I never carry any sort of weapon in my pocket."
"Why don't you,
then?" she asked in a flash of scorn which bewitched me so completely for
an instant that I couldn't even smile at it.
"Because if I am
unconventionalized I am an old European," I murmured gently. "No,
Excellentissima, I shall go through life without as much as a switch in my
hand. It's no use you being angry. Adapting to this great moment some words you've
heard before: I am like that. Such is my character!"
Doña Rita frankly
stared at me---a most unusual expression for her to have. Suddenly she sat up.
"Don George,"
she said with lovely animation, "I insist upon knowing who is in my
house."
"You insist! . . .
But Therese says it is her house."
Had there been anything
handy, such as a cigarette box, for instance, it would have gone sailing
through the air spouting cigarettes as it went. Rosy all over, cheeks, neck,
shoulders, she seemed lighted up softly from inside like a beautiful
transparency. But she didn't raise her voice.
"You and Therese
have sworn my ruin. If you don't tell me what you mean I will go outside and
shout up the stairs to make her come down. I know there is no one but the three
of us in the house."
"Yes, three; but
not counting my Jacobin. There is a Jacobin in the house."
"A Jac . . .! Oh,
George, is this the time to jest?" she began in persuasive tones when a
faint but peculiar noise stilled her lips as though they had been suddenly
frozen. She became quiet all over instantly. I, on the contrary, made an
involuntary movement before I, too, became as still as death. We strained our
ears; but that peculiar metallic rattle had been so slight and the silence now
was so perfect that it was very difficult to believe one's senses. Doña Rita
looked inquisitively at me. I gave her a slight nod. We remained looking into
each other's eyes while we listened and listened till the silence became
unbearable. Doña Rita whispered composedly: "Did you hear?"
"I am asking
myself . . . I almost think I didn't."
"Don't shuffle
with me. It was a scraping noise."
"Something
fell."
"Something! What
thing? What are the things that fall by themselves? Who is that man of whom you
spoke? Is there a man?"
"No doubt about it
whatever. I brought him here myself."
"What for?"
"Why shouldn't I
have a Jacobin of my own? Haven't you one, too? But mine is a different problem
from that white-haired humbug of yours. He is a genuine article. There must be
plenty like him about. He has scores to settle with half a dozen people, he
says, and he clamours for revolutions to give him a chance."
"But why did you
bring him here?"
"I don't
know---from sudden affection . . ."
All this passed in such
low tones that we seemed to make out the words more by watching each other's
lips than through our sense of hearing. Man is a strange animal. I didn't care
what I said. All I wanted was to keep her in her pose, excited and still,
sitting up with her hair loose, softly glowing, the dark brown fur making a
wonderful contrast with the white lace on her breast. All I was thinking of was
that she was adorable and too lovely for words! I cared for nothing but that
sublimely æsthetic impression. It summed up all life, all joy, all poetry! It
had a divine strain. I am certain that I was not in my right mind. I suppose I
was not quite sane. I am convinced that at that moment of the four people in
the house it was Doña Rita who upon the whole was the most sane. She observed
my face and I am sure she read there something of my inward exaltation. She
knew what to do. In the softest possible tone and hardly above her breath she
commanded: "George, come to yourself."
Her gentleness had the
effect of evening light. I was soothed. Her confidence in her own power touched
me profoundly. I suppose my love was too great for madness to get hold of me. I
can't say that I passed to a complete calm, but I became slightly ashamed of
myself. I whispered:
"No, it was not
from affection, it was for the love of you that I brought him here. That
imbecile H. was going to send him to Tolosa."
"That
Jacobin!" Doña Rita was immensely surprised, as she might well have been.
Then resigned to the incomprehensible: "Yes," she breathed out,
"what did you do with him?"
"I put him to bed
in the studio."
How lovely she was with
the effort of close attention depicted in the turn of her head and in her whole
face honestly trying to approve. "And then?" she inquired.
"Then I came in
here to face calmly the necessity of doing away with a human life. I didn't
shirk it for a moment. That's what a short twelvemonth has brought me to. Don't
think I am reproaching you, O blind force! You are justified because you are.
Whatever had to happen you would not even have heard of it."
Horror darkened her
marvellous radiance. Then her face became utterly blank with the tremendous
effort to understand. Absolute silence reigned in the house. It seemed to me
that everything had been said now that mattered in the world; and that the
world itself had reached its ultimate stage, had reached its appointed end of
an eternal, phantom-like silence. Suddenly Doña Rita raised a warning finger. I
had heard nothing and shook my head; but she nodded hers and murmured excitedly,
"Yes, yes, in the
fencing-room, as before."
In the same way I
answered her: "Impossible! The door is locked and Therese has the
key." She asked then in the most cautious manner,
"Have you seen
Therese to-night?"
"Yes," I
confessed without misgiving. "I left her making up the fellow's bed when I
came in here."
"The bed of the
Jacobin?" she said in a peculiar tone as if she were humouring a lunatic.
"I think I had
better tell you he is a Spaniard---that he seems to know you from early days. .
. ." I glanced at her face, it was extremely tense, apprehensive. For
myself I had no longer any doubt as to the man and I hoped she would reach the
correct conclusion herself. But I believe she was too distracted and worried to
think consecutively. She only seemed to feel some terror in the air. In very
pity I bent down and whispered carefully near her ear, "His name is
Ortega."
I expected some effect
from that name but I never expected what happened. With the sudden, free,
spontaneous agility of a young animal she leaped off the sofa, leaving her
slippers behind, and in one bound reached almost the middle of the room. The
vigour, the instinctive precision of that spring, were something amazing. I
just escaped being knocked over. She landed lightly on her bare feet with a
perfect balance, without the slightest suspicion of swaying in her instant
immobility. It lasted less than a second, then she spun round distractedly and
darted at the first door she could see. My own agility was just enough to
enable me to grip the back of the fur coat and then catch her round the body
before she could wriggle herself out of the sleeves. She was muttering all the
time, "No, no, no." She abandoned herself to me just for an instant
during which I got her back to the middle of the room. There she attempted to
free herself and I let her go at once. With her face very close to mine, but
apparently not knowing what she was looking at she repeated again twice,
"No--- No," with an intonation which might well have brought dampness
to my eyes but which only made me regret that I didn't kill the honest Ortega
at sight. Suddenly Doña Rita swung round and seizing her loose hair with both
hands started twisting it up before one of the sumptuous mirrors. The wide fur
sleeves slipped down her white arms. In a brusque movement like a downward stab
she transfixed the whole mass of tawny glints and sparks with the arrow of gold
which she perceived lying there, before her, on the marble console. Then she
sprang away from the glass muttering feverishly, "Out---out---out of this
house," and trying with an awful, senseless stare to dodge past me who had
put myself in her way with open arms. At last I managed to seize her by the
shoulders and in the extremity of my distress I shook her roughly. If she
hadn't quieted down then I believe my heart would have broken. I spluttered
right into her face: "I won't let you. Here you stay." She seemed to
recognize me at last, and suddenly still, perfectly firm on her white feet, she
let her arms fall and, from an abyss of desolation, whispered, "O! George!
No! No! Not Ortega."
There was a passion of
mature grief in this tone of appeal. And yet she remained as touching and
helpless as a distressed child. It had all the simplicity and depth of a
child's emotion. It tugged at one's heart-strings in the same direct way. But
what could one do? How could one soothe her? It was impossible to pat her on
the head, take her on the knee, give her a chocolate or show her a
picture-book. I found myself absolutely without resource. Completely at a loss.
"Yes, Ortega.
Well, what of it?" I whispered with immense assurance.
My brain was in a
whirl. I am safe to say that at this precise moment there was nobody completely
sane in the house. Setting apart Therese and Ortega, both in the grip of
unspeakable passions, all the moral economy of Doña Rita had gone to pieces.
Everything was gone except her strong sense of life with all its implied
menaces. The woman was a mere chaos of sensations and vitality. I, too,
suffered most from inability to get hold of some fundamental thought. The one
on which I could best build some hopes was the thought that, of course, Ortega
did not know anything. I whispered this into the ear of Doña Rita, into her precious,
her beautifully shaped ear.
But she shook her head,
very much like an inconsolable child and very much with a child's complete
pessimism she murmured, "Therese has told him."
The words, "Oh,
nonsense," never passed my lips, because I could not cheat myself into
denying that there had been a noise; and that the noise was in the
fencing-room. I knew that room. There was nothing there that by the wildest
stretch of imagination could be conceived as falling with that particular
sound. There was a table with a tall strip of looking-glass above it at one
end; but since Blunt took away his campaigning kit there was no small object of
any sort on the console or anywhere else that could have been jarred off in
some mysterious manner. Along one of the walls there was the whole complicated
apparatus of solid brass pipes, and quite close to it an enormous bath sunk
into the floor. The greatest part of the room along its whole length was
covered with matting and had nothing else but a long, narrow leather-upholstered
bench fixed to the wall. And that was all. And the door leading to the studio
was locked. And Therese had the key. And it flashed on my mind, independently
of Doña Rita's pessimism, by the force of personal conviction, that, of course,
Therese would tell him. I beheld the whole succession of events perfectly
connected and tending to that particular conclusion. Therese would tell him! I
could see the contrasted heads of those two formidable lunatics close together
in a dark mist of whispers compounded of greed, piety, and jealousy, plotting
in a sense of perfect security as if under the very wing of Providence. So at
least Therese would think. She could not be but under the impression that
(providentially) I had been called out for the rest of the night.
And now there was one
sane person in the house, for I had regained complete command of my thoughts.
Working in a logical succession of images they showed me at last as clearly as
a picture on a wall, Therese pressing with fervour the key into the fevered
palm of the rich, prestigious, virtuous cousin, so that he should go and urge
his self-sacrificing offer to Rita, and gain merit before Him whose Eye sees
all the actions of men. And this image of those two with the key in the studio
seemed to me a most monstrous conception of fanaticism, of a perfectly horrible
aberration. For who could mistake the state that made José Ortega the figure he
was, inspiring both pity and fear? I could not deny that I understood, not the
full extent but the exact nature of his suffering. Young as I was I had solved
for myself that grotesque and sombre personality. His contact with me, the
personal contact with (as he thought) one of the actual lovers of that woman
who brought to him as a boy the curse of the gods, had tipped over the
trembling scales. No doubt I was very near death in the "grand salon"
of the Maison Dorée, only that his torture had gone too far. It seemed to me
that I ought to have heard his very soul scream while we were seated at supper.
But in a moment he had ceased to care for me. I was nothing. To the crazy
exaggeration of his jealousy I was but one amongst a hundred thousand. What was
my death? Nothing. All mankind had possessed that woman. I knew what his wooing
of her would be: Mine---or Dead.
All this ought to have
had the clearness of noon-day, even to the veriest idiot that ever lived; and
Therese was, properly speaking, exactly that. An idiot. A one-ideaed creature.
Only the idea was complex; therefore it was impossible really to say what she wasn't
capable of. This was what made her obscure processes so awful. She had at times
the most amazing perceptions. Who could tell where her simplicity ended and her
cunning began? She had also the faculty of never forgetting any fact bearing
upon her one idea; and I remembered now that the conversation with me about the
will had produced on her an indelible impression of the Law's surprising
justice. Recalling her naive admiration of the "just" law that
required no "paper" from a sister, I saw her casting loose the raging
fate with a sanctimonious air. And Therese would naturally give the key of the
fencing-room to her dear, virtuous, grateful, disinterested cousin, to that
damned soul with delicate whiskers, because she would think it just possible
that Rita might have locked the door leading from her room into the hall;
whereas there was no earthly reason, not the slightest likelihood, that she
would bother about the other. Righteousness demanded that the erring sister
should be taken unawares.
All the above is the
analysis of one short moment. Images are to words like light to
sound---incomparably swifter. And all this was really one flash of light
through my mind. A comforting thought succeeded it: that both doors were locked
and that really there was no danger.
However, there had been
that noise---the why and the how of it? Of course in the dark he might have
fallen into the bath, but that wouldn't have been a faint noise. It wouldn't
have been a rattle. There was absolutely nothing he could knock over. He might
have dropped a candle-stick if Therese had left him her own. That was possible,
but then those thick mats---and then, anyway, why should he drop it? and, hang
it all, why shouldn't he have gone straight on and tried the door? I had
suddenly a sickening vision of the fellow crouching at the key-hole, listening,
listening, listening, for some movement or sigh of the sleeper he was ready to
tear away from the world, alive or dead. I had a conviction that he was still
listening. Why? Goodness knows! He may have been only gloating over the
assurance that the night was long and that he had all these hours to himself.
I was pretty certain
that he could have heard nothing of our whispers, the room was too big for that
and the door too solid. I hadn't the same confidence in the efficiency of the
lock. Still! . . . Guarding my lips with my hand I urged Doña Rita to go back
to the sofa. She wouldn't answer me and when I got hold of her arm I discovered
that she wouldn't move. She had taken root in that thick-pile Aubusson carpet;
and she was so rigidly still all over that the brilliant stones in the shaft of
the arrow of gold, with the six candles at the head of the sofa blazing full on
them, emitted no sparkle.
I was extremely anxious
that she shouldn't betray herself. I reasoned, save the mark, as a
psychologist. I had no doubt that the man knew of her being there; but he only
knew it by hearsay. And that was bad enough. I could not help feeling that if
he obtained some evidence for his senses by any sort of noise, voice, or
movement, his madness would gain strength enough to burst the lock. I was
rather ridiculously worried about the locks. A horrid mistrust of the whole
house possessed me. I saw it in the light of a deadly trap. I had no weapon, I
couldn't say whether he had one or not. I wasn't afraid of a struggle as far as
I, myself, was concerned, but I was afraid of it for Doña Rita. To be rolling
at her feet, locked in a literally tooth-and-nail struggle with Ortega would
have been odious. I wanted to spare her feelings, just as I would have been
anxious to save from any contact with mud the feet of that goatherd of the
mountains with a symbolic face. I looked at her face. For immobility it might
have been a carving. I wished I knew how to deal with that embodied mystery, to
influence it, to manage it. Oh, how I longed for the gift of authority! In
addition, since I had become completely sane, all my scruples against laying
hold of her had returned. I felt shy and embarrassed. My eyes were fixed on the
bronze handle of the fencing-room door as if it were something alive. I braced
myself up against the moment when it would move. This was what was going to
happen next. It would move very gently. My heart began to thump. But I was
prepared to keep myself as still as death and I hoped Doña Rita would have
sense enough to do the same. I stole another glance at her face and at that
moment I heard the word: "Beloved!" form itself in the still air of
the room, weak, distinct, piteous, like the last request of the dying.
With great presence of
mind I whispered into Doña Rita's ear: "Perfect silence!" and was
overjoyed to discover that she had heard me, understood me; that she even had
command over her rigid lips. She answered me in a breath (our cheeks were nearly
touching): "Take me out of this house."
I glanced at all her
clothing scattered about the room and hissed forcibly the warning "Perfect
immobility"; noticing with relief that she didn't offer to move, though
animation was returning to her and her lips had remained parted in an awful,
unintended effect of a smile. And I don't know whether I was pleased when she,
who was not to be touched, gripped my wrist suddenly. It had the air of being
done on purpose because almost instantly another: "Beloved!" louder,
more agonized if possible, got into the room and, yes, went home to my heart.
It was followed without any transition, preparation, or warning, by a
positively bellowed: "Speak, perjured beast!" which I felt pass in a
thrill right through Doña Rita like an electric shock, leaving her as
motionless as before.
Till he shook the door
handle, which he did immediately afterwards, I wasn't certain through which
door he had spoken. The two doors (in different walls) were rather near each
other. It was as I expected. He was in the fencing-room, thoroughly aroused,
his senses on the alert to catch the slightest sound. A situation not to be
trifled with. Leaving the room was for us out of the question. It was quite
possible for him to dash round into the hall before we could get clear of the
front door. As to making a bolt of it upstairs there was the same objection;
and to allow ourselves to be chased all over the empty house by this maniac
would have been mere folly. There was no advantage in locking ourselves up
anywhere upstairs where the original doors and locks were much lighter. No,
true safety was in absolute stillness and silence, so that even his rage should
be brought to doubt at last and die expended, or choke him before it died; I
didn't care which.
For me to go out and
meet him would have been stupid. Now I was certain that he was armed. I had
remembered the wall in the fencing-room decorated with trophies of cold steel
in all the civilized and savage forms; sheaves of assegais, in the guise of columns
and grouped between them stars and suns of choppers, swords, knives; from
Italy, from Damascus, from Abyssinia, from the ends of the world. Ortega had
only to make his barbarous choice. I suppose he had got up on the bench, and
fumbling about amongst them must have brought one down, which, falling, had
produced that rattling noise. But in any case to go to meet him would have been
folly, because, after all, I might have been overpowered (even with bare hands)
and then Doña Rita would have been left utterly defenceless.
"He will
speak," came to me the ghostly, terrified murmur of her voice. "Take
me out of the house before he begins to speak."
"Keep still,"
I whispered. "He will soon get tired of this."
"You don't know
him."
"Oh, yes, I do.
Been with him two hours."
At this she let go my
wrist and covered her face with her hands passionately. When she dropped them
she had the look of one morally crushed.
"What did he say
to you?"
"He raved."
"Listen to me. It
was all true!"
"I daresay, but
what of that?"
These ghostly words
passed between us hardly louder than thoughts; but after my last answer she
ceased and gave me a searching stare, then drew in a long breath. The voice on
the other side of the door burst out with an impassioned request for a little
pity, just a little, and went on begging for a few words, for two words, for
one word---one poor little word. Then it gave up, then repeated once more,
"Say you are there, Rita. Say one word, just one word. Say `yes.' Come! Just
one little yes."
"You see," I
said. She only lowered her eyelids over the anxious glance she had turned on
me.
For a minute we could
have had the illusion that he had stolen away, unheard, on the thick mats. But
I don't think that either of us was deceived. The voice returned, stammering
words without connection, pausing and faltering, till suddenly steadied it
soared into impassioned entreaty, sank to low, harsh tones, voluble, lofty
sometimes and sometimes abject. When it paused it left us looking profoundly at
each other.
"It's almost
comic," I whispered.
"Yes. One could
laugh," she assented, with a sort of sinister conviction. Never had I seen
her look exactly like that, for an instant another, an incredible Rita!
"Haven't I laughed at him innumerable times?" she added in a sombre
whisper.
He was muttering to
himself out there, and unexpectedly shouted: "What?" as though he had
fancied he had heard something. He waited a while before he started up again
with a loud: "Speak up, Queen of the goats, with your goat tricks. . .
." All was still for a time, then came a most awful bang on the door. He
must have stepped back a pace to hurl himself bodily against the panels. The
whole house seemed to shake. He repeated that performance once more, and then
varied it by a prolonged drumming with his fists. It was comic. But I felt
myself struggling mentally with an invading gloom as though I were no longer
sure of myself.
"Take me
out," whispered Doña Rita feverishly, "take me out of this house
before it is too late."
"You will have to
stand it," I answered.
"So be it; but
then you must go away yourself. Go now, before it is too late."
I didn't condescend to
answer this. The drumming on the panels stopped and the absurd thunder of it
died out in the house. I don't know why precisely then I had the acute vision
of the red mouth of José Ortega wriggling with rage between his funny whiskers.
He began afresh but in a tired tone:
"Do you expect a
fellow to forget your tricks, you wicked little devil? Haven't you ever seen me
dodging about to get a sight of you amongst those pretty gentlemen, on
horseback, like a princess, with pure cheeks like a carved saint? I wonder I
didn't throw stones at you. I wonder I didn't run after you shouting the
tale---curse my timidity! But I daresay they knew as much as I did. More. All
the new tricks---if that were possible."
While he was making
this uproar, Doña Rita put her fingers in her ears and then suddenly changed
her mind and clapped her hands over my ears. Instinctively I disengaged my head
but she persisted. We had a short tussle without moving from the spot, and
suddenly I had my head free, and there was complete silence. He had screamed
himself out of breath, but Doña Rita muttering "Too late, too late,"
got her hands away from my grip and shipping altogether out of her fur coat
seized some garment lying on a chair near by (I think it was her skirt), with
the intention of dressing herself, I imagine, and rushing out of the house.
Determined to prevent this, but indeed without thinking very much what I was
doing, I got hold of her arm. That struggle was silent, too; but I used the
least force possible and she managed to give me an unexpected push. Stepping
back to save myself from falling I overturned the little table, bearing the
six-branched candlestick. It hit the floor, rebounded with a dull ring on the
carpet, and by the time it came to a rest every single candle was out. He on
the other side of the door naturally heard the noise and greeted it with a triumphant
screech: "Aha! I've managed to wake you up," the very savagery of
which had a laughable effect. I felt the weight of Doña Rita grow on my arm and
thought it best to let her sink on the floor, wishing to be free in my
movements and really afraid that now he had actually heard a noise he would
infallibly burst the door. But he didn't even thump it. He seemed to have
exhausted himself in that scream. There was no other light in the room but the
darkened glow of the embers and I could hardly make out amongst the shadows of
furniture Doña Rita sunk on her knees in a penitential and despairing attitude.
Before this collapse I, who had been wrestling desperately with her a moment
before, felt that I dare not touch her. This emotion, too, I could not
understand; this abandonment of herself, this conscience-stricken humility. A
humbly imploring request to open the door came from the other side. Ortega kept
on repeating: "Open the door, open the door," in such an amazing
variety of intonations, imperative, whining, persuasive, insinuating, and even
unexpectedly jocose, that I really stood there smiling to myself, yet with a
gloomy and uneasy heart. Then he remarked, parenthetically as it were,
"Oh, you know how to torment a man, you brown-skinned, lean, grinning, dishevelled
imp, you. And mark," he expounded further, in a curiously doctoral
tone---"you are in all your limbs hateful: your eyes are hateful and your
mouth is hateful, and your hair is hateful, and your body is cold and vicious
like a snake---and altogether you are perdition."
This statement was
astonishingly deliberate. He drew a moaning breath after it and uttered in a
heart-rending tone, "You know, Rita, that I cannot live without you. I
haven't lived. I am not living now. This isn't life. Come, Rita, you can't take
a boy's soul away and then let him grow up and go about the world, poor devil,
while you go amongst the rich from one pair of arms to another, showing all
your best tricks. But I will forgive you if you only open the door," he
ended in an inflated tone: "You remember how you swore time after time to
be my wife. You are more fit to be Satan's wife but I don't mind. You shall be
my wife!"
A sound near the floor
made me bend down hastily with a stern: "Don't laugh," for in his
grotesque, almost burlesque discourses there seemed to me to be truth, passion,
and horror enough to move a mountain.
Suddenly suspicion
seized him out there. With perfectly farcical unexpectedness he yelled shrilly:
"Oh, you deceitful wretch! You won't escape me! I will have you. . .
."
And in a manner of
speaking he vanished. Of course I couldn't see him but somehow that was the
impression. I had hardly time to receive it when crash! . . . he was already at
the other door. I suppose he thought that his prey was escaping him. His
swiftness was amazing, almost inconceivable, more like the effect of a trick or
of a mechanism. The thump on the door was awful as if he had not been able to
stop himself in time. The shock seemed enough to stun an elephant. It was
really funny. And after the crash there was a moment of silence as if he were
recovering himself. The next thing was a low grunt, and at once he picked up
the thread of his fixed idea.
"You will have to
be my wife. I have no shame. You swore you would be and so you will have to
be." Stifled low sounds made me bend down again to the kneeling form,
white in the flush of the dark red glow. "For goodness' sake don't,"
I whispered down. She was struggling with an appalling fit of merriment,
repeating to herself, "Yes, every day, for two months. Sixty times at
least, sixty times at least." Her voice was rising high. She was
struggling against laughter, but when I tried to put my hand over her lips I
felt her face wet with tears. She turned it this way and that, eluding my hand
with repressed low, little moans. I lost my caution and said, "Be
quiet," so sharply as to startle myself (and her, too) into expectant
stillness.
Ortega's voice in the
hall asked distinctly: "Eh? What's this?" and then he kept still on
his side listening but he must have thought that his ears had deceived him. He
was getting tired, too. He was keeping quiet out there---resting. Presently he
sighed deeply; then in a harsh melancholy tone he started again.
"My love, my soul,
my life, do speak to me. What am I that you should take so much trouble to
pretend that you aren't there? Do speak to me," he repeated tremulously,
following this mechanical appeal with a string of extravagantly endearing
names, some of them quite childish, which all of a sudden stopped dead; and
then after a pause there came a distinct, unutterably weary:
"What shall I do
now?" as though he were speaking to himself.
I shuddered to hear
rising from the floor, by my side, a vibrating, scornful: "Do! Why, slink
off home looking over your shoulder as you used to years ago when I had done
with you---all but the laughter."
"Rita," I
murmured, appalled. He must have been struck dumb for a moment. Then, goodness
only knows why, in his dismay or rage he was moved to speak in French with a
most ridiculous accent.
"So you have found
your tongue at last---Catin! You were that from the cradle. Don't you remember
how . . ."
Doña Rita sprang to her
feet at my side with a loud cry, "No, George, no," which bewildered
me completely. The suddenness, the loudness of it made the ensuing silence on
both sides of the door perfectly awful. It seemed to me that if I didn't resist
with all my might something in me would die on the instant. In the straight,
falling folds of the night-dress she looked cold like a block of marble; while
I, too, was turned into stone by the terrific clamour in the hall.
"Therese,
Therese," yelled Ortega. "She has got a man in there." He ran to
the foot of the stairs and screamed again, "Therese, Therese! There is a
man with her. A man! Come down, you miserable, starved peasant, come down and
see."
I don't know where
Therese was but I am sure that this voice reached her, terrible, as if
clamouring to heaven, and with a shrill over-note which made me certain that if
she was in bed the only thing she would think of doing would be to put her head
under the bed-clothes. With a final yell: "Come down and see," he
flew back at the door of the room and started shaking it violently.
It was a double door,
very tall, and there must have been a lot of things loose about its fittings,
bolts, latches, and all those brass applications with broken screws, because it
rattled, it clattered, it jingled; and produced also the sound as of thunder
rolling in the big, empty hall. It was deafening, distressing, and vaguely
alarming as if it could bring the house down. At the same time the futility of
it had, it cannot be denied, a comic effect. The very magnitude of the racket
he raised was funny. But he couldn't keep up that violent exertion
continuously, and when he stopped to rest we could hear him shouting to himself
in vengeful tones. He saw it all! He had been decoyed there! (Rattle, rattle,
rattle.) He had been decoyed into that town, he screamed, getting more and more
excited by the noise he made himself, in order to be exposed to this! (Rattle,
rattle.) By this shameless "Catin! Catin! Catin!"
He started at the door
again with superhuman vigour.
Behind me I heard Doña
Rita laughing softly, statuesque, turned all dark in the fading glow. I called
out to her quite openly, "Do keep your self-control." And she called
back to me in a clear voice: "Oh, my dear, will you ever consent to speak
to me after all this? But don't ask for the impossible. He was born to be
laughed at."
"Yes," I
cried. "But don't let yourself go."
I don't know whether
Ortega heard us. He was exerting then his utmost strength of lung against the
infamous plot to expose him to the derision of the fiendish associates of that
obscene woman! . . . Then he began another interlude upon the door, so
sustained and strong that I had the thought that this was growing absurdly
impossible, that either the plaster would begin to fall off the ceiling or he
would drop dead next moment, out there.
He stopped, uttered a
few curses at the door, and seemed calmer from sheer exhaustion.
"This story will
be all over the world," we heard him begin. "Deceived, decoyed,
inveighed, in order to be made a laughing-stock before the most debased of all
mankind, that woman and her associates." This was really a meditation. And
then he screamed: "I will kill you all." Once more he started
worrying the door but it was a startlingly feeble effort which he abandoned
almost at once. He must have been at the end of his strength. Doña Rita from
the middle of the room asked me recklessly loud: "Tell me! Wasn't he born
to be laughed at?" I didn't answer her. I was so near the door that I
thought I ought to hear him panting there. He was terrifying, but he was not
serious. He was at the end of his strength, of his breath, of every kind of
endurance, but I did not know it. He was done up, finished; but perhaps he did
not know it himself. How still he was! Just as I began to wonder at it, I heard
him distinctly give a slap to his forehead. "I see it all!" he cried.
"That miserable, canting peasant-woman upstairs has arranged it all. No
doubt she consulted her priests. I must regain my self-respect. Let her die
first." I heard him make a dash for the foot of the stairs. I was appalled;
yet to think of Therese being hoisted with her own petard was like a turn of
affairs in a farce. A very ferocious farce. Instinctively I unlocked the door.
Doña Rita's contralto laugh rang out loud, bitter, and contemptuous; and I
heard Ortega's distracted screaming as if under torture. "It hurts! It
hurts! It hurts!" I hesitated just an instant, half a second, no more, but
before I could open the door wide there was in the hall a short groan and the
sound of a heavy fall.
The sight of Ortega
lying on his back at the foot of the stairs arrested me in the doorway. One of
his legs was drawn up, the other extended fully, his foot very near the
pedestal of the silver statuette holding the feeble and tenacious gleam which
made the shadows so heavy in that hall. One of his arms lay across his breast.
The other arm was extended full length on the white-and-black pavement with the
hand palm upwards and the fingers rigidly spread out. The shadow of the lowest
step slanted across his face but one whisker and part of his chin could be made
out. He appeared strangely flattened. he didn't move at all. He was in his
shirt-sleeves. I felt an extreme distaste for that sight. The characteristic
sound of a key worrying in the lock stole into my ears. I couldn't locate it
but I didn't attend much to that at first. I was engaged in watching Señor
Ortega. But for his raised leg he clung so flat to the floor and had taken on
himself such a distorted shape that he might have been the mere shadow of Señor
Ortega. It was rather fascinating to see him so quiet at the end of all that
fury, clamour, passion, and uproar. Surely there was never anything so still in
the world as this Ortega. I had a bizarre notion that he was not to be
disturbed.
A noise like the
rattling of chain links, a small grind and click exploded in the stillness of
the hall and a voice began to swear in Italian. These surprising sounds were
quite welcome, they recalled me to myself, and I perceived they came from the
front door which seemed pushed a little ajar. Was somebody trying to get in? I
had no objection, I went to the door and said: "Wait a moment, it's on the
chain." The deep voice on the other side said: "What an extraordinary
thing," and I assented mentally. It was extraordinary. The chain was never
put up, but Therese was a thorough sort of person, and on this night she had
put it up to keep no one out except myself. It was the old Italian and his
daughters returning from the ball who were trying to get in.
Suddenly I became
intensely alive to the whole situation. I bounded back, closed the door of
Blunt's room, and the next moment was speaking to the Italian. "A little
patience." My hands trembled but I managed to take down the chain and as I
allowed the door to swing open a little more I put myself in his way. He was
burly, venerable, a little indignant, and full of thanks. Behind him his two
girls, in short-skirted costumes, white stockings, and low shoes, their heads
powdered and earrings sparkling in their ears, huddled together behind their
father, wrapped up in their light mantles. One had kept her little black mask
on her face, the other held hers in her hand.
The Italian was
surprised at my blocking the way and remarked pleasantly, "It's cold
outside, Signor." I said, "Yes," and added in a hurried whisper:
"There is a dead man in the hall." He didn't say a single word but
put me aside a little, projected his body in for one searching glance.
"Your daughters," I murmured. He said kindly, "Va bene, va
bene." And then to them, "Come in, girls."
There is nothing like
dealing with a man who has had a long past of out-of-the-way experiences. The
skill with which he rounded up and drove the girls across the hall, paternal
and irresistible, venerable and reassuring, was a sight to see. They had no
time for more than one scared look over the shoulder. He hustled them in and
locked them up safely in their part of the house, then crossed the hall with a
quick, practical stride. When near Señor Ortega he trod short just in time and
said: "In truth, blood"; then selecting the place, knelt down by the
body in his tall hat and respectable overcoat, his white beard giving him
immense authority somehow. "But this man is not dead," he exclaimed,
looking up at me. With profound sagacity, inherent as it were in his great beard,
he never took the trouble to put any questions to me and seemed certain that I
had nothing to do with the ghastly sight. "He managed to give himself an
enormous gash in his side," was his calm remark. "And what a
weapon!" he exclaimed, getting it out from under the body. It was an
Abyssinian or Nubian production of a bizarre shape; the clumsiest thing
imaginable, partaking of a sickle and a chopper with a sharp edge and a pointed
end. A mere cruel-looking curio of inconceivable clumsiness to European eyes.
The old man let it drop
with amused disdain. "You had better take hold of his legs," he
decided without appeal. I certainly had no inclination to argue. When we lifted
him up the head of Señor Ortega fell back desolately, making an awful,
defenceless display of his large, white throat.
We found the lamp
burning in the studio and the bed made up on the couch on which we deposited
our burden. My venerable friend jerked the upper sheet away at once and started
tearing it into strips.
"You may leave him
to me," said that efficient sage, "but the doctor is your affair. If
you don't want this business to make a noise you will have to find a discreet
man."
He was most
benevolently interested in all the proceedings. He remarked with a patriarchal
smile as he tore the sheet noisily: "You had better not lose any
time." I didn't lose any time. I crammed into the next hour an astonishing
amount of bodily activity. Without more words I flew out bare-headed into the
last night of Carnival. Luckily I was certain of the right sort of doctor. He
was an iron-grey man of forty and of a stout habit of body but who was able to
put on a spurt. In the cold, dark, and deserted by-streets, he ran with earnest
and ponderous footsteps, which echoed loudly in the cold night air, while I
skimmed along the ground a pace or two in front of him. It was only on arriving
at the house that I perceived that I had left the front door wide open. All the
town, every evil in the world could have entered the black-and-white hall. But
I had no time to meditate upon my imprudence. The doctor and I worked in
silence for nearly an hour and it was only then while he was washing his hands
in the fencing-room that he asked:
"What was he up
to, that imbecile?"
"Oh, he was
examining this curiosity," I said.
"Oh, yes, and it
accidentally went off," said the doctor, looking contemptuously at the
Nubian knife I had thrown on the table. Then while wiping his hands: "I
would bet there is a woman somewhere under this; but that of course does not affect
the nature of the wound. I hope this blood-letting will do him good."
"Nothing will do
him any good," I said.
"Curious house
this," went on the doctor. "It belongs to a curious sort of woman,
too. I happened to see her once or twice. I shouldn't wonder if she were to
raise considerable trouble in the track of her pretty feet as she goes along. I
believe you know her well."
"Yes."
"Curious people in
the house, too. There was a Carlist officer here, a lean, tall, dark man, who
couldn't sleep. He consulted me once. Do you know what became of him?"
"No."
The doctor had finished
wiping his hands and flung the towel far away.
"Considerable
nervous over-strain. Seemed to have a restless brain. Not a good thing, that.
For the rest a perfect gentleman. And this Spaniard here, do you know
him?"
"Enough not to
care what happens to him," I said, "except for the trouble he might
cause to the Carlist sympathizers here, should the police get hold of this
affair."
"Well, then, he
must take his chance in the seclusion of that conservatory sort of place where
you have put him. I'll try to find somebody we can trust to look after him.
Meantime, I will leave the case to you."
Directly I had shut the
door after the doctor I started shouting for Therese. "Come down at once,
you wretched hypocrite," I yelled at the foot of the stairs in a sort of
frenzy as though I had been a second Ortega. Not even an echo answered me; but
all of a sudden a small flame flickered descending from the upper darkness and
Therese appeared on the first floor landing carrying a lighted candle in front
of a livid, hard face, closed against remorse, compassion, or mercy by the
meanness of her righteousness and of her rapacious instincts. She was fully
dressed in that abominable brown stuff with motionless folds, and as I watched
her coming down step by step she might have been made of wood. I stepped back
and pointed my finger at the darkness of the passage leading to the studio. She
passed within a foot of me, her pale eyes staring straight ahead, her face
still with disappointment and fury. Yet it is only my surmise. She might have
been made thus inhuman by the force of an invisible purpose. I waited a moment,
then, stealthily, with extreme caution, I opened the door of the so-called
Captain Blunt's room.
The glow of embers was
all but out. It was cold and dark in there; but before I closed the door behind
me the dim light from the hall showed me Doña Rita standing on the very same
spot where I had left her, statuesque in her night-dress. Even after I shut the
door she loomed up enormous, indistinctly rigid and inanimate. I picked up the
candelabra, groped for a candle all over the carpet, found one, and lighted it.
All that time Doña Rita didn't stir. When I turned towards her she seemed to be
slowly awakening from a trance. She was deathly pale and by contrast the
melted, sapphire-blue of her eyes looked black as coal. They moved a little in
my direction, incurious, recognizing me slowly. But when they had recognized me
completely she raised her hands and hid her face in them. A whole minute or
more passed. Then I said in a low tone: "Look at me," and she let
them fall slowly as if accepting the inevitable.
"Shall I make up
the fire?" . . . I waited. "Do you hear me?" She made no sound
and with the tip of my finger I touched her bare shoulder. But for its
elasticity it might have been frozen. At once I looked round for the fur coat;
it seemed to me that there was not a moment to lose if she was to be saved, as
though we had been lost on an Arctic plain. I had to put her arms into the
sleeves, myself, one after another. They were cold, lifeless, but flexible.
Then I moved in front of her and buttoned the thing close round her throat. To
do that I had actually to raise her chin with my finger, and it sank slowly
down again. I buttoned all the other buttons right down to the ground. It was a
very long and splendid fur. Before rising from my kneeling position I felt her
feet. Mere ice. The intimacy of this sort of attendance helped the growth of my
authority. "Lie down," I murmured, "I shall pile on you every
blanket I can find here," but she only shook her head.
Not even in the days
when she ran "shrill as a cicada and thin as a match" through the
chill mists of her native mountains could she ever have felt so cold, so
wretched, and so desolate. Her very soul, her grave, indignant, and fantastic
soul, seemed to drowse like an exhausted traveller surrendering himself to the
sleep of death. But when I asked her again to lie down she managed to answer
me, "Not in this room." The dumb spell was broken. She turned her
head from side to side, but oh! how cold she was! It seemed to come out of her,
numbing me, too; and the very diamonds on the arrow of gold sparkled like hoar
frost in the light of the one candle.
"Not in this room;
not here," she protested, with that peculiar suavity of tone which made
her voice unforgettable, irresistible, no matter what she said. "Not after
all this! I couldn't close my eyes in this place. It's full of corruption and
ugliness all round, in me, too, everywhere except in your heart, which has
nothing to do where I breathe. And here you may leave me. But wherever you go
remember that I am not evil, I am not evil."
I said: "I don't
intend to leave you here. There is my room upstairs. You have been in it
before."
"Oh, you have
heard of that," she whispered. The beginning of a wan smile vanished from
her lips.
"I also think you
can't stay in this room; and, surely, you needn't hesitate . . ."
"No. It doesn't
matter now. He has killed me. Rita is dead."
While we exchanged
these words I had retrieved the quilted, blue slippers and had put them on her
feet. She was very tractable. Then taking her by the arm I led her towards the
door.
"He has killed
me," she repeated in a sigh. "The little joy that was in me."
"He has tried to
kill himself out there in the hall," I said. She put back like a
frightened child but she couldn't be dragged on as a child can be.
I assured her that the
man was no longer there but she only repeated, "I can't get through the
hall. I can't walk. I can't . . ."
"Well," I
said, flinging the door open and seizing her suddenly in my arms, "if you
can't walk then you shall be carried," and I lifted her from the ground so
abruptly that she could not help catching me round the neck as any child almost
will do instinctively when you pick it up.
I ought really to have
put those blue slippers in my pocket. One dropped off at the bottom of the
stairs as I was stepping over an unpleasant-looking mess on the marble
pavement, and the other was lost a little way up the flight when, for some
reason (perhaps from a sense of insecurity), she began to struggle. Though I
had an odd sense or being engaged in a sort of nursery adventure she was no
child to carry. I could just do it. But not if she chose to struggle. I set her
down hastily and only supported her round the waist for the rest of the way. My
room, of course, was perfectly dark but I led her straight to the sofa at once
and let her fall on it. Then as if I had in sober truth rescued her from an
Alpine height or an Arctic floe, I busied myself with nothing but lighting the
gas and starting the fire. I didn't even pause to lock my door. All the time I was
aware of her presence behind me, nay, of something deeper and more my own---of
her existence itself---of a small blue flame, blue like her eyes, flickering
and clear within her frozen body. When I turned to her she was sitting very
stiff and upright, with her feet posed hieratically on the carpet and her head
emerging out of the ample fur collar, such as a gem-like flower above the rim
of a dark vase. I tore the blankets and the pillows off my bed and piled them
up in readiness in a great heap on the floor near the couch. My reason for this
was that the room was large, too large for the fireplace, and the couch was
nearest to the fire. She gave no sign but one of her wistful attempts at a
smile. In a most business-like way I took the arrow out of her hair and laid it
on the centre table. The tawny mass fell loose at once about her shoulders and
made her look even more desolate than before. But there was an invincible need
of gaiety in her heart. She said funnily, looking at the arrow sparkling in the
gas light:
"Ah! That poor
philistinish ornament!"
An echo of our early
days, not more innocent but so much more youthful, was in her tone; and we
both, as if touched with poignant regret, looked at each other with enlightened
eyes.
"Yes," I
said, "how far away all this is. And you wouldn't leave even that object
behind when you came last in here. Perhaps it is for that reason it haunted me
---mostly at night. I dreamed of you sometimes as a huntress nymph gleaming
white through the foliage and throwing this arrow like a dart straight at my
heart. But it never reached it. It always fell at my feet as I woke up. The
huntress never meant to strike down that particular quarry."
"The huntress was
wild but she was not evil. And she was no nymph, but only a goatherd girl.
Dream of her no more, my dear."
I had the strength of
mind to make a sign of assent and busied myself arranging a couple of pillows
at one end of the sofa. "Upon my soul, goatherd, you are not
responsible," I said. "You are not! Lay down that uneasy head,"
I continued, forcing a half-playful note into my immense sadness, "that
has even dreamed of a crown--- but not for itself."
She lay down quietly. I
covered her up, looked once into her eyes and felt the restlessness of fatigue
overpower me so that I wanted to stagger out, walk straight before me, stagger
on and on till I dropped. In the end I lost myself in thought. I woke with a
start to her voice saying positively:
"No. Not even in
this room. I can't close my eyes. Impossible. I have a horror of myself. That
voice in my ears. All true. All true."
She was sitting up, two
masses of tawny hair fell on each side of her tense face. I threw away the
pillows from which she had risen and sat down behind her on the couch.
"Perhaps like this," I suggested, drawing her head gently on my
breast. She didn't resist, she didn't even sigh she didn't look at me or
attempt to settle herself in any way. It was I who settled her after taking up
a position which I thought I should be able to keep for hours---for ages. After
a time I grew composed enough to become aware of the ticking of the clock, even
to take pleasure in it. The beat recorded the moments of her rest, while I sat,
keeping as still as if my life depended upon it with my eyes fixed idly on the
arrow of gold gleaming and glittering dimly on the table under the lowered
gas-jet. And presently my breathing fell into the quiet rhythm of the sleep
which descended on her at last. My thought was that now nothing mattered in the
world because I had the world safe resting in my arms--- or was it in my heart?
Suddenly my heart
seemed torn in two within my breast and half of my breath knocked out of me. It
was a tumultuous awakening. The day had come. Doña Rita had opened her eyes,
found herself in my arms, and instantly had flung herself out of them with one
sudden effort. I saw her already standing in the filtered sunshine of the
closed shutters, with all the childlike horror and shame of that night
vibrating afresh in the awakened body of the woman.
"Daylight,"
she whispered in an appalled voice. "Don't look at me, George. I can't
face daylight. No ---not with you. Before we set eyes on each other all that
past was like nothing. I had crushed it all in my new pride. Nothing could
touch the Rita whose hand was kissed by you. But now! Never in daylight."
I sat there stupid with
surprise and grief. This was no longer the adventure of venturesome children in
a nursery-book. A grown man's bitterness, informed, suspicious, resembling
hatred, welled out of my heart.
"All this means
that you are going to desert me again?" I said with contempt. "All
right. I won't throw stones after you . . . Are you going, then?"
She lowered her head
slowly with a backward gesture of her arm as if to keep me off, for I had
sprung to my feet all at once as if mad.
"Then go quickly,"
I said. "You are afraid of living flesh and blood. What are you running
after? Honesty, as you say, or some distinguished carcass to feed your vanity
on? I know how cold you can be and yet live. What have I done to you? You go to
sleep in my arms, wake up and go away. Is it to impress me? Charlatanism of
character, my dear."
She stepped forward on
her bare feet as firm on that floor which seemed to heave up and down before my
eyes as she had ever been---goatherd child leaping on the rocks of her native
hills which she was never to see again. I snatched the arrow of gold from the
table and threw it after her.
"Don't forget this
thing," I cried, "you would never forgive yourself for leaving it
behind."
It struck the back of
the fur coat and fell on the floor behind her. She never looked round. She
walked to the door, opened it without haste, and on the landing in the diffused
light from the ground-glass skylight there appeared, rigid, like an implacable
and obscure fate, the awful Therese---waiting for her sister. The heavy ends of
a big black shawl thrown over her head hung massively in biblical folds. With a
faint cry of dismay Doña Rita stopped just within my room.
The two women faced
each other for a few moments silently. Therese spoke first. There was no
austerity in her tone. Her voice was as usual, pertinacious, unfeeling, with a
slight plaint in it; terrible in its unchanged purpose.
"I have been
standing here before this door all night," she said. "I don't know
how I lived through it. I thought I would die a hundred times for shame. So
that's how you are spending your time? You are worse than shameless. But God
may still forgive you. You have a soul. You are my sister. I will never abandon
you---till you die."
"What is it?"
Doña Rita was heard wistfully, "my soul or this house that you won't
abandon."
"Come out and bow
your head in humiliation. I am your sister and I shall help you to pray to God
and all the Saints. Come away from that poor young gentleman who like all the
others can have nothing but contempt and disgust for you in his heart. Come and
hide your head where no one will reproach you---but I, your sister. Come out
and beat your breast: come, poor Sinner, and let me kiss you, for you are my
sister!"
While Therese was speaking
Doña Rita stepped back a pace and as the other moved forward still extending
the hand of sisterly love, she slammed the door in Therese's face. "You
abominable girl!" she cried fiercely. Then she turned about and walked
towards me who had not moved. I felt hardly alive but for the cruel pain that
possessed my whole being. On the way she stooped to pick up the arrow of gold
and then moved on quicker, holding it out to me in her open palm.
"You thought I
wouldn't give it to you. Amigo, I wanted nothing so much as to give it to you.
And now, perhaps---you will take it."
"Not without the
woman," I said sombrely.
"Take it,"
she said. "I haven't the courage to deliver myself up to Therese. No. Not
even for your sake. Don't you think I have been miserable enough yet?"
I snatched the arrow
out of her hand then and ridiculously pressed it to my breast; but as I opened
my lips she who knew what was struggling for utterance in my heart cried in a
ringing tone:
"Speak no words of
love, George! Not yet. Not in this house of ill-luck and falsehood. Not within
a hundred miles of this house, where they came clinging to me all profaned from
the mouth of that man. Haven't you heard them---the horrible things? And what
can words have to do between you and me?"
Her hands were
stretched out imploringly. I said, childishly disconcerted:
"But, Rita, how
can I help using words of love to you? They come of themselves on my
lips!"
"They come! Ah!
But I shall seal your lips with the thing itself," she said. "Like this.
. . ."
The narrative of our
man goes on for some six months more, from this, the last night of the Carnival
season up to and beyond the season of roses. The tone of it is much less of
exultation than might have been expected. Love as is well known having nothing to
do with reason, being insensible to forebodings and even blind to evidence, the
surrender of those two beings to a precarious bliss has nothing very
astonishing in itself; and its portrayal, as he attempts it, lacks dramatic
interest. The sentimental interest could only have a fascination for readers
themselves actually in love. The response of a reader depends on the mood of
the moment, so much so that a book may seem extremely interesting when read
late at night, but might appear merely a lot of vapid verbiage in the morning.
My conviction is that the mood in which the continuation of his story would
appear sympathetic is very rare. This consideration has induced me to suppress
it---all but the actual facts which round up the previous events and satisfy
such curiosity as might have been aroused by the foregoing narrative.
It is to be remarked
that this period is characterized more by a deep and joyous tenderness than by
sheer passion. All fierceness of spirit seems to have burnt itself out in their
preliminary hesitations and struggles against each other and themselves.
Whether love in its entirety has, speaking generally, the same elementary
meaning for women as for men, is very doubtful. Civilization has been at work
there. But the fact is that those two display, in every phase of discovery and
response, an exact accord. Both show themselves amazingly ingenuous in the
practice of sentiment. I believe that those who know women won't be surprised
to hear me say that she was as new to love as he was. During their retreat in
the region of the Maritime Alps, in a small house built of dry stones and
embowered with roses, they appear all through to be less like released lovers
than as companions who had found out each other's fitness in a specially
intense way. Upon the whole, I think that there must be some truth in his
insistence of there having always been something childlike in their relation.
In the unreserved and instant sharing of all thoughts, all impressions, all
sensations, we see the naiveness of a children's foolhardy adventure. This
unreserve expressed for him the whole truth of the situation. With her it may
have been different. It might have been assumed; yet nobody is altogether a
comedian; and even comedians themselves have got to believe in the part they
play. Of the two she appears much the more assured and confident. But if in
this she was a comedienne then it was but a great achievement of her
ineradicable honesty. Having once renounced her honourable scruples she took
good care that he should taste no flavour of misgivings in the cup. Being older
it was she who imparted its character to the situation. As to the man if he had
any superiority of his own it was simply the superiority of him who loves with
the greater self-surrender.
This is what appears
from the pages I have discreetly suppressed---partly out of regard for the
pages themselves. In every, even terrestrial, mystery there is as it were a
sacred core. A sustained commentary on love is not fit for every eye. A
universal experience is exactly the sort of thing which is most difficult to
appraise justly in a particular instance.
How this particular
instance affected Rose, who was the only companion of the two hermits in their
rose-embowered hut of stones, I regret not to be able to report; but I will
venture to say that for reasons on which I need not enlarge, the girl could not
have been very reassured by what she saw. It seems to me that her devotion
could never be appeased; for the conviction must have been growing on her that,
no matter what happened, Madame could never have any friends. It may be that Doña
Rita had given her a glimpse of the unavoidable end, and that the girl's
tarnished eyes masked a certain amount of apprehensive, helpless desolation.
What meantime was
becoming of the fortune of Henry Allègre is another curious question. We have
been told that it was too big to be tied up in a sack and thrown into the sea.
That part of it represented by the fabulous collections was still being
protected by the police. But for the rest, it may be assumed that its power and
significance were lost to an interested world for something like six months.
What is certain is that the late Henry Allègre's man of affairs found himself
comparatively idle. The holiday must have done much good to his harassed brain.
He had received a note from Doña Rita saying that she had gone into retreat and
that she did not mean to send him her address, not being in the humour to be
worried with letters on any subject whatever. "It's enough for
you"---she wrote---"to know that I am alive." Later, at
irregular intervals, he received scraps of paper bearing the stamps of various
post offices and containing the simple statement: "I am still alive,"
signed with an enormous, flourished exuberant R. I imagine Rose had to travel
some distances by rail to post those messages. A thick veil of secrecy had been
lowered between the world and the lovers; yet even this veil turned out not
altogether impenetrable.
He---it would be
convenient to call him Monsieur George to the end---shared with Doña Rita her
perfect detachment from all mundane affairs; but he had to make two short
visits to Marseilles. The first was prompted by his loyal affection for
Dominic. He wanted to discover what had happened or was happening to Dominic
and to find out whether he could do something for that man. But Dominic was not
the sort of person for whom one can do much. Monsieur George did not even see
him. It looked uncommonly as if Dominic's heart were broken. Monsieur George
remained concealed for twenty-four hours in the very house in which Madame Léonore
had her café. He spent most of that time in conversing with Madame Léonore
about Dominic. She was distressed, but her mind was made up. That bright-eyed,
nonchalant, and passionate woman was making arrangements to dispose of her café
before departing to join Dominic. She would not say where. Having ascertained
that his assistance was not required Monsieur George, in his own words,
"managed to sneak out of the town without being seen by a single soul that
mattered."
The second occasion was
very prosaic and shockingly incongruous with the super-mundane colouring of
these days. He had neither the fortune of Henry Allègre nor a man of affairs of
his own. But some rent had to be paid to somebody for the stone hut and Rose
could not go marketing in the tiny hamlet at the foot of the hill without a
little money. There came a time when Monsieur George had to descend from the
heights of his love in order, in his own words, "to get a supply of
cash." As he had disappeared very suddenly and completely for a time from
the eyes of mankind it was necessary that he should show himself and sign some
papers. That business was transacted in the office of the banker mentioned in
the story. Monsieur George wished to avoid seeing the man himself but in this
he did not succeed. The interview was short. The banker naturally asked no
questions, made no allusions to persons and events, and didn't even mention the
great Legitimist Principle which presented to him now no interest whatever. But
for the moment all the world was talking of the Carlist enterprise. It had
collapsed utterly, leaving behind, as usual, a large crop of recriminations, charges
of incompetency and treachery, and a certain amount of scandalous gossip. The
banker (his wife's salon had been very Carlist indeed) declared that he had
never believed in the success of the cause. "You are well out of it,"
he remarked with a chilly smile to Monsieur George. The latter merely observed
that he had been very little "in it" as a matter of fact, and that he
was quite indifferent to the whole affair.
"You left a few of
your feathers in it, nevertheless," the banker concluded with a wooden
face and with the curtness of a man who knows.
Monsieur George ought
to have taken the very next train out of the town but he yielded to the
temptation to discover what had happened to the house in the street of the
Consuls after he and Doña Rita had stolen out of it like two scared yet
jubilant children. All he discovered was a strange, fat woman, a sort of
virago, who had, apparently, been put in as a caretaker by the man of affairs.
She made some difficulties to admit that she had been in charge for the last
four months; ever since the person who was there before had eloped with some
Spaniard who had been lying in the house ill with fever for more than six
weeks. No, she never saw the person. Neither had she seen the Spaniard. She had
only heard the talk of the street. Of course she didn't know where these people
had gone. She manifested some impatience to get rid of Monsieur George and even
attempted to push him toward the door. It was, he says, a very funny
experience. He noticed the feeble flame of the gas-jet in the hall still
waiting for extinction in the general collapse of the world
Then he decided to have
a bit of dinner at the Restaurant de la Gare where he felt pretty certain he
would not meet any of his friends. He could not have asked Madame Léonore for
hospitality because Madame Léonore had gone away already. His acquaintances
were not the sort of people likely to happen casually into a restaurant of that
kind and moreover he took the precaution to seat himself at a small table so as
to face the wall. Yet before long he felt a hand laid gently on his shoulder,
and, looking up, saw one of his acquaintances a member of the Royalist club, a
young man of a very cheerful disposition but whose face looked down at him with
a grave and anxious expression.
Monsieur George was far
from delighted. His surprise was extreme when in the course of the first
phrases exchanged with him he learned that this acquaintance had come to the
station with the hope of finding him there.
"You haven't been
seen for some time," he said. "You were perhaps somewhere where the
news from the world couldn't reach you? There have been many changes amongst
our friends and amongst people one used to hear of so much. There is Madame de
Lastaola for instance, who seems to have vanished from the world which was so
much interested in her. You have no idea where she may be now? "
Monsieur George
remarked grumpily that he couldn't say.
The other tried to
appear at ease. Tongues were wagging about it in Paris. There was a sort of
international financier, a fellow with an Italian name, a shady personality,
who had been looking for her all over Europe and talked in clubs---astonishing
how such fellows get into the best clubs---oh! Azzolati was his name. But
perhaps what a fellow like that said did not matter. The funniest thing was
that there was no man of any position in the world who had disappeared at the
same time. A friend in Paris wrote to him that a certain well-known journalist
had rushed South to investigate the mystery but had returned no wiser than he
went.
Monsieur George
remarked more unamiably than before that he really could not help all that.
"No," said
the other with extreme gentleness, " only of all the people more or less
connected with the Carlist affair you are the only one that had also
disappeared before the final collapse."
"What!" cried
Monsieur George.
"Just so,"
said the other meaningly. "You know that all my people like you very much,
though they hold various opinions as to your discretion. Only the other day
Jane, you know my married sister, and I were talking about you. She was
extremely distressed. I assured her that you must be very far away or very
deeply buried somewhere not to have given a sign of life under this
provocation."
Naturally Monsieur
George wanted to know what it was all about; and the other appeared greatly
relieved.
"I was sure you
couldn't have heard. I don't want to be indiscreet, I don't want to ask you
where you were. It came to my ears that you had been seen at the bank to-day
and I made a special effort to lay hold of you before you vanished again; for,
after all, we have been always good friends and all our lot here liked you very
much. Listen. You know a certain Captain Blunt, don't you?"
Monsieur George owned
to knowing Captain Blunt but only very slightly. His friend then informed him
that this Captain Blunt was apparently well acquainted with Madame de Lastaola,
or, at any rate, pretended to be. He was an honourable man, a member of a good
club, he was very Parisian in a way, and all this, he continued, made all the
worse that of which he was under the painful necessity of warning Monsieur
George. This Blunt on three distinct occasions when the name of Madame de
Lastaola came up in conversation in a mixed company of men had expressed his
regret that she should have become the prey of a young adventurer who was
exploiting her shamelessly. He talked like a man certain of his facts and as he
mentioned names . . ."
"In fact,"
the young man burst out excitedly, "it is your name that he mentions. And
in order to fix the exact personality he always takes care to add that you are
that young fellow who was known as Monsieur George all over the South amongst
the initiated Carlists."
How Blunt had got
enough information to base that atrocious calumny upon, Monsieur George
couldn't imagine. But there it was. He kept silent in his indignation till his
friend murmured, "I expect you will want him to know that you are
here."
"Yes," said
Monsieur George, "and I hope you will consent to act for me altogether.
First of all, pray, let him know by wire that I am waiting for him. This will
be enough to fetch him down here, I can assure you. You may ask him also to
bring two friends with him. I don't intend this to be an affair for Parisian
journalists to write paragraphs about."
"Yes. That sort of
thing must be stopped at once," the other admitted. He assented to
Monsieur George's request that the meeting should be arranged for at his elder
brother's country place where the family stayed very seldom. There was a most
convenient walled garden there. And then Monsieur George caught his train
promising to be back on the fourth day and leaving all further arrangements to
his friend. He prided himself on his impenetrability before Doña Rita; on the
happiness without a shadow of those four days. However, Doña Rita must have had
the intuition of there being something in the wind, because on the evening of
the very same day on which he left her again on some pretence or other, she was
already ensconced in the house in the street of the Consuls, with the
trustworthy Rose scouting all over the town to gain information.
Of the proceedings in
the walled garden there is no need to speak in detail. They were conventionally
correct, but an earnestness of purpose which could be felt in the very air
lifted the business above the common run of affairs of honour. One bit of
byplay unnoticed by the seconds, very busy for the moment with their
arrangements, must be mentioned. Disregarding the severe rules of conduct in
such cases Monsieur George approached his adversary and addressed him directly.
"Captain
Blunt," he said, "the result of this meeting may go against me. In
that case you will recognize publicly that you were wrong, For you are wrong
and you know it. May I trust your honour?"
In answer to that
appeal Captain Blunt, always correct, didn't open his lips but only made a
little bow. For the rest he was perfectly ruthless. If he was utterly incapable
of being carried away by love there was nothing equivocal about his jealousy.
Such psychology is not very rare and really from the point of view of the
combat itself one cannot very well blame him. What happened was this. Monsieur
George fired on the word and, whether luck or skill, managed to hit Captain
Blunt ill the upper part of the arm which was holding the pistol. That
gentleman's arm dropped powerless by his side. But he did not drop his weapon.
There was nothing equivocal about his determination. With the greatest
deliberation he reached with his left hand for his pistol and taking careful
aim shot Monsieur George through the left side of his breast. One may imagine
the consternation of the four seconds and the activity of the two surgeons in
the confined, drowsy heat of that walled garden. It was within an easy drive of
the town and as Monsieur George was being conveyed there at a walking pace a
little brougham coming from the opposite direction pulled up at the side of the
road. A thickly veiled woman's head looked out of the window, took in the state
of affairs at a glance, and called out in a firm voice: "Follow my
carriage." The brougham turning round took the lead. Long before this
convoy reached the town another carriage containing four gentlemen (of whom one
was leaning back languidly with his arm in a sling) whisked past and vanished
ahead in a cloud of white, Provenĉal dust. And this is the last
appearance of Captain Blunt in Monsieur George's narrative. Of course he was
only told of it later. At the time he was not in a condition to notice things.
His interest in his surroundings remained of a hazy and nightmarish kind for
many days together. From time to time he had the impression that he was in a
room strangely familiar to him, that he had unsatisfactory visions of Doña
Rita, to whom he tried to speak as if nothing had happened, but that she always
put her hand on his mouth to prevent him and then spoke to him herself in a
very strange voice which sometimes resembled the voice of Rose. The face, too,
sometimes resembled the face of Rose. There were also one or two men's faces
which he seemed to know well enough though he didn't recall their names. He
could have done so with a slight effort, but it would have been too much
trouble. Then came a time when the hallucinations of Doña Rita and the faithful
Rose left him altogether. Next came a period, perhaps a year, or perhaps an
hour, during which he seemed to dream all through his past life. He felt no
apprehension, he didn't try to speculate as to the future. He felt that all
possible conclusions were out of his power, and therefore he was indifferent to
everything. He was like that dream's disinterested spectator who doesn't know
what is going to happen next. Suddenly for the first time in his life he had
the soul-satisfying consciousness of floating off into deep slumber.
When he woke up after
an hour, or a day, or a month, there was dusk in the room; but he recognized it
perfectly. It was his apartment in Doña Rita's house; those were the familiar
surroundings in which he had so often told himself that he must either die or
go mad. But now he felt perfectly clear-headed and the full sensation of being
alive came all over him, languidly delicious. The greatest beauty of it was
that there was no need to move. This gave him a sort of moral satisfaction.
Then the first thought independent of personal sensations came into his head.
He wondered when Therese would come in and begin talking. He saw vaguely a
human figure in the room but that was a man. He was speaking in a deadened
voice which had yet a preternatural distinctness.
"This is the
second case I have had in this house, and I am sure that directly or indirectly
it was connected with that woman. She will go on like this leaving a track
behind her and then some day there will be really a corpse. This young fellow
might have been it."
"In this case,
Doctor," said another voice, "one can't blame the woman very much. I
assure you she made a very determined fight."
"What do you mean?
That she didn't want to . . ."
"Yes. A very good
fight. I heard all about it. It is easy to blame her, but, as she asked me
despairingly, could she go through life veiled from head to foot or go out of
it altogether into a convent? No, she isn't guilty. She is simply---what she
is."
"And what's
that?"
"Very much of a
woman. Perhaps a little more at the mercy of contradictory impulses than other
women. But that's not her fault. I really think she has been very honest."
The voices sank
suddenly to a still lower murmur and presently the shape of the man went out of
the room. Monsieur George heard distinctly the door open and shut. Then he
spoke for the first time, discovering, with a particular pleasure, that it was
quite easy to speak. He was even under the impression that he had shouted:
"Who is
here?"
From the shadow of the
room (he recognized at once the characteristic outlines of the bulky shape)
Mills advanced to the side of the bed. Doña Rita had telegraphed to him on the
day of the duel and the man of books, leaving his retreat, had come as fast as
boats and trains could carry him South. For, as he said later to Monsieur
George, he had become fully awake to his part of responsibility. And he added:
"It was not of you alone that I was thinking." But the very first
question that Monsieur George put to him was:
"How long is it
since I saw you last?"
"Something like
ten months," answered Mills' kindly voice.
"Ah! Is Therese
outside the door? She stood there all night, you know."
"Yes, I heard of
it. She is hundreds of miles away now."
"Well, then, ask
Rita to come in."
"I can't do that,
my dear boy," said Mills with affectionate gentleness. He hesitated a
moment. "Doña Rita went away yesterday," he said softly.
"Went away?
Why?" asked Monsieur George.
"Because, I am
thankful to say, your life is no longer in danger. And I have told you that she
is gone because, strange as it may seem, I believe you can stand this news
better now than later when you get stronger."
It must be believed
that Mills was right. Monsieur George fell asleep before he could feel any pang
at that intelligence. A sort of confused surprise was in his mind but nothing
else, and then his eyes closed. The awakening was another matter. But that,
too, Mills had foreseen. For days he attended the bedside patiently letting the
man in the bed talk to him of Doña Rita but saying little himself; till one day
he was asked pointedly whether she had ever talked to him openly. And then he
said that she had, on more than one occasion. "She told me amongst other
things," Mills said, "if this is any satisfaction to you to know,
that till she met you she knew nothing of love. That you were to her in more
senses than one a complete revelation."
"And then she went
away. Ran away from the revelation," said the man in the bed bitterly.
"What's the good
of being angry?" remonstrated Mills, gently. "You know that this
world is not a world for lovers, not even for such lovers as you two who have
nothing to do with the world as it is. No, a world of lovers would be
impossible. It would be a mere ruin of lives which seem to be meant for
something else. What this something is, I don't know; and I am certain,"
he said with playful compassion, "that she and you will never find
out."
A few days later they
were again talking of Doña Rita. Mills said:
"Before she left
the house she gave me that arrow she used to wear in her hair to hand over to
you as a keepsake and also to prevent you, she said, from dreaming of her. This
message sounds rather cryptic."
"Oh, I understand
perfectly," said Monsieur George. "Don't give me the thing now. Leave
it somewhere where I can find it some day when I am alone. But when you write
to her you may tell her that now at last---surer than Mr. Blunt's bullet---the
arrow has found its mark. There will be no more dreaming. Tell her. She will
understand."
"I don't even know
where she is," murmured Mills.
"No, but her man
of affairs knows. Tell me, Mills, what will become of her?"
"She will be
wasted," said Mills sadly. "She is a most unfortunate creature. Not
even poverty could save her now. She cannot go back to her goats. Yet who can
tell? She may find something in life. She may! It won't be love. She has
sacrificed that chance to the integrity of your life---heroically. Do you
remember telling her once that you meant to live your life integrally---oh, you
lawless young pedant! Well, she is gone; but you may be sure that whatever she
finds now in life it will not be peace. You understand me? Not even in a
convent."
"She was supremely
lovable," said the wounded man, speaking of her as if she were lying dead
already on his oppressed heart.
"And
elusive," struck in Mills in a low voice. "Some of them are like
that. She will never change. Amid all the shames and shadows of that life there
will always lie the ray of her perfect honesty. I don't know about your
honesty, but yours will be the easier lot. You will always have your . . .
other love---you pig-headed enthusiast of the sea."
"Then let me go to
it," cried the enthusiast. "Let me go to it."
He went to it as soon
as he had strength enough to feel the crushing weight of his loss (or his gain)
fully, and discovered that he could bear it without flinching. After this
discovery he was fit to face anything. He tells his correspondent that if he
had been more romantic he would never have looked at any other woman. But on
the contrary. No face worthy of attention escaped him. He looked at them all;
and each reminded him of Doña Rita, either by some profound resemblance or by
the startling force of contrast.
The faithful austerity
of the sea protected him from the rumours that fly on the tongues of men. He
never heard of her. Even the echoes of the sale of the great Allègre collection
failed to reach him. And that event must have made noise enough in the world.
But he never heard. He does not know. Then, years later, he was deprived even
of the arrow. It was lost to him in a stormy catastrophe; and he confesses that
next day he stood on a rocky, wind-assaulted shore, looking at the seas raging
over the very spot of his loss and thought that it was well. It was not a thing
that one could leave behind one for strange hands---for the cold eyes of
ignorance. Like the old King of Thule with the gold goblet of his mistress he
would have had to cast it into the sea, before he died. He says he smiled at
the romantic notion. But what else could he have done with it?
THE END