AFTER the festive
dinner with its eight courses and its endless conversation, Olga Mihalovna,
whose husband's name-day was being celebrated, went out into the garden. The
duty of smiling and talking incessantly, the clatter of the crockery, the
stupidity of the servants, the long intervals between the courses, and the
stays she had put on to conceal her condition from the visitors, wearied her to
exhaustion. She longed to get away from the house, to sit in the shade and rest
her heart with thoughts of the baby which was to be born to her in another two
months. She was used to these thoughts coming to her as she turned to the left
out of the big avenue into the narrow path. Here in the thick shade of the
plums and cherry-trees the dry branches used to scratch her neck and shoulders;
a spider's web would settle on her face, and there would rise up in her mind
the image of a little creature of undetermined sex and undefined features, and
it began to seem as though it were not the spider's web that tickled her face
and neck caressingly, but that little creature. When, at the end of the path, a
thin wicker hurdle came into sight, and behind it podgy beehives with tiled
roofs; when in the motionless, stagnant air there came a smell of hay and
honey, and a soft buzzing of bees was audible, then the little creature would
take complete possession of Olga Mihalovna. She used to sit down on a bench
near the shanty woven of branches, and fall to thinking.
This time, too, she
went on as far as the seat, sat down, and began thinking; but instead of the
little creature there rose up in her imagination the figures of the grown-up
people whom she had just left. She felt dreadfully uneasy that she, the
hostess, had deserted her guests, and she remembered how her husband, Pyotr
Dmitritch, and her uncle, Nikolay Nikolaitch, had argued at dinner about trial
by jury, about the press, and about the higher education of women. Her husband,
as usual, argued in order to show off his Conservative ideas before his
visitors -- and still more in order to disagree with her uncle, whom he
disliked. Her uncle contradicted him and wrangled over every word he uttered,
so as to show the company that he, Uncle Nikolay Nikolaitch, still retained his
youthful freshness of spirit and free-thinking in spite of his fifty-nine
years. And towards the end of dinner even Olga Mihalovna herself could not
resist taking part and unskilfully attempting to defend university education
for women -- not that that education stood in need of her defence, but simply
because she wanted to annoy her husband, who to her mind was unfair. The guests
were wearied by this discussion, but they all thought it necessary to take part
in it, and talked a great deal, although none of them took any interest in
trial by jury or the higher education of women. . . .
Olga Mihalovna was
sitting on the nearest side of the hurdle near the shanty. The sun was hidden
behind the clouds. The trees and the air were overcast as before rain, but in
spite of that it was hot and stifling. The hay cut under the trees on the
previous day was lying ungathered, looking melancholy, with here and there a
patch of colour from the faded flowers, and from it came a heavy, sickly scent.
It was still. The other side of the hurdle there was a monotonous hum of bees.
. . .
Suddenly she heard
footsteps and voices; some one was coming along the path towards the bee-house.
"How stifling it
is!" said a feminine voice. "What do you think -- is it going to
rain, or not?"
"It is going to
rain, my charmer, but not before night," a very familiar male voice
answered languidly. "There will be a good rain."
Olga Mihalovna
calculated that if she made haste to hide in the shanty they would pass by
without seeing her, and she would not have to talk and to force herself to
smile. She picked up her skirts, bent down and crept into the shanty. At once
she felt upon her face, her neck, her arms, the hot air as heavy as steam. If
it had not been for the stuffiness and the close smell of rye bread, fennel,
and brushwood, which prevented her from breathing freely, it would have been
delightful to hide from her visitors here under the thatched roof in the dusk,
and to think about the little creature. It was cosy and quiet.
"What a pretty
spot!" said a feminine voice. "Let us sit here, Pyotr
Dmitritch."
Olga Mihalovna began
peeping through a crack between two branches. She saw her husband, Pyotr
Dmitritch, and Lubotchka Sheller, a girl of seventeen who had not long left
boarding-school. Pyotr Dmitritch, with his hat on the back of his head, languid
and indolent from having drunk so much at dinner, slouched by the hurdle and
raked the hay into a heap with his foot; Lubotchka, pink with the heat and
pretty as ever, stood with her hands behind her, watching the lazy movements of
his big handsome person.
Olga Mihalovna knew
that her husband was attractive to women, and did not like to see him with them.
There was nothing out of the way in Pyotr Dmitritch's lazily raking together
the hay in order to sit down on it with Lubotchka and chatter to her of
trivialities; there was nothing out of the way, either, in pretty Lubotchka's
looking at him with her soft eyes; but yet Olga Mihalovna felt vexed with her
husband and frightened and pleased that she could listen to them.
"Sit down,
enchantress," said Pyotr Dmitritch, sinking down on the hay and
stretching. "That's right. Come, tell me something."
"What next! If I
begin telling you anything you will go to sleep."
"Me go to sleep?
Allah forbid! Can I go to sleep while eyes like yours are watching me?"
In her husband's words,
and in the fact that he was lolling with his hat on the back of his head in the
presence of a lady, there was nothing out of the way either. He was spoilt by
women, knew that they found him attractive, and had adopted with them a special
tone which every one said suited him. With Lubotchka he behaved as with all
women. But, all the same, Olga Mihalovna was jealous.
"Tell me,
please," said Lubotchka, after a brief silence -- "is it true that
you are to be tried for something?"
"I? Yes, I am . .
. numbered among the transgressors, my charmer."
"But what
for?"
"For nothing, but
just . . . it's chiefly a question of politics," yawned Pyotr Dmitritch --
"the antagonisms of Left and Right. I, an obscurantist and reactionary,
ventured in an official paper to make use of an expression offensive in the
eyes of such immaculate Gladstones as Vladimir Pavlovitch Vladimirov and our
local justice of the peace -- Kuzma Grigoritch Vostryakov."
Pytor Dmitritch yawned
again and went on:
"And it is the way
with us that you may express disapproval of the sun or the moon, or anything
you like, but God preserve you from touching the Liberals! Heaven forbid! A
Liberal is like the poisonous dry fungus which covers you with a cloud of dust
if you accidentally touch it with your finger."
"What happened to
you?"
"Nothing particular.
The whole flare-up started from the merest trifle. A teacher, a detestable
person of clerical associations, hands to Vostryakov a petition against a
tavern-keeper, charging him with insulting language and behaviour in a public
place. Everything showed that both the teacher and the tavern-keeper were drunk
as cobblers, and that they behaved equally badly. If there had been insulting
behaviour, the insult had anyway been mutual. Vostryakov ought to have fined
them both for a breach of the peace and have turned them out of the court --
that is all. But that's not our way of doing things. With us what stands first
is not the person -- not the fact itself, but the trade-mark and label. However
great a rascal a teacher may be, he is always in the right because he is a
teacher; a tavern-keeper is always in the wrong because he is a tavern-keeper
and a money-grubber. Vostryakov placed the tavern-keeper under arrest. The man
appealed to the Circuit Court; the Circuit Court triumphantly upheld
Vostryakov's decision. Well, I stuck to my own opinion. . . . Got a little hot.
. . . That was all."
Pyotr Dmitritch spoke
calmly with careless irony. In reality the trial that was hanging over him
worried him extremely. Olga Mihalovna remembered how on his return from the unfortunate
session he had tried to conceal from his household how troubled he was, and how
dissatisfied with himself. As an intelligent man he could not help feeling that
he had gone too far in expressing his disagreement; and how much lying had been
needful to conceal that feeling from himself and from others! How many
unnecessary conversations there had been! How much grumbling and insincere
laughter at what was not laughable! When he learned that he was to be brought
up before the Court, he seemed at once harassed and depressed; he began to
sleep badly, stood oftener than ever at the windows, drumming on the panes with
his fingers. And he was ashamed to let his wife see that he was worried, and it
vexed her.
"They say you have
been in the province of Poltava?" Lubotchka questioned him.
"Yes,"
answered Pyotr Dmitritch. "I came back the day before yesterday."
"I expect it is
very nice there."
"Yes, it is very
nice, very nice indeed; in fact, I arrived just in time for the haymaking, I
must tell you, and in the Ukraine the haymaking is the most poetical moment of
the year. Here we have a big house, a big garden, a lot of servants, and a lot
going on, so that you don't see the haymaking; here it all passes unnoticed.
There, at the farm, I have a meadow of forty-five acres as flat as my hand. You
can see the men mowing from any window you stand at. They are mowing in the
meadow, they are mowing in the garden. There are no visitors, no fuss nor hurry
either, so that you can't help seeing, feeling, hearing nothing but the
haymaking. There is a smell of hay indoors and outdoors. There's the sound of
the scythes from sunrise to sunset. Altogether Little Russia is a charming
country. Would you believe it, when I was drinking water from the rustic wells
and filthy vodka in some Jew's tavern, when on quiet evenings the strains of
the Little Russian fiddle and the tambourines reached me, I was tempted by a
fascinating idea -- to settle down on my place and live there as long as I
chose, far away from Circuit Courts, intellectual conversations, philosophizing
women, long dinners. . . ."
Pyotr Dmitritch was not
lying. He was unhappy and really longed to rest. And he had visited his Poltava
property simply to avoid seeing his study, his servants, his acquaintances, and
everything that could remind him of his wounded vanity and his mistakes.
Lubotchka suddenly
jumped up and waved her hands about in horror.
"Oh! A bee, a
bee!" she shrieked. "It will sting!"
"Nonsense; it
won't sting," said Pyotr Dmitritch. "What a coward you are!"
"No, no, no,"
cried Lubotchka; and looking round at the bees, she walked rapidly back.
Pyotr Dmitritch walked
away after her, looking at her with a softened and melancholy face. He was
probably thinking, as he looked at her, of his farm, of solitude, and -- who
knows? -- perhaps he was even thinking how snug and cosy life would be at the
farm if his wife had been this girl -- young, pure, fresh, not corrupted by
higher education, not with child. . . .
When the sound of their
footsteps had died away, Olga Mihalovna came out of the shanty and turned
towards the house. She wanted to cry. She was by now acutely jealous. She could
understand that her husband was worried, dissatisfied with himself and ashamed,
and when people are ashamed they hold aloof, above all from those nearest to
them, and are unreserved with strangers; she could understand, also, that she
had nothing to fear from Lubotchka or from those women who were now drinking
coffee indoors. But everything in general was terrible, incomprehensible, and
it already seemed to Olga Mihalovna that Pyotr Dmitritch only half belonged to
her. . . .
"He has no right
to do it!" she muttered, trying to formulate her jealousy and her vexation
with her husband. "He has no right at all. I will tell him so
plainly!"
She made up her mind to
find her husband at once and tell him all about it: it was disgusting,
absolutely disgusting, that he was attractive to other women and sought their
admiration as though it were some heavenly manna; it was unjust and
dishonourable that he should give to others what belonged by right to his wife,
that he should hide his soul and his conscience from his wife to reveal them to
the first pretty face he came across. What harm had his wife done him? How was
she to blame? Long ago she had been sickened by his lying: he was for ever
posing, flirting, saying what he did not think, and trying to seem different
from what he was and what he ought to be. Why this falsity? Was it seemly in a
decent man? If he lied he was demeaning himself and those to whom he lied, and
slighting what he lied about. Could he not understand that if he swaggered and
posed at the judicial table, or held forth at dinner on the prerogatives of
Government, that he, simply to provoke her uncle, was showing thereby that he
had not a ha'p'orth of respect for the Court, or himself, or any of the people
who were listening and looking at him?
Coming out into the big
avenue, Olga Mihalovna assumed an expression of face as though she had just
gone away to look after some domestic matter. In the verandah the gentlemen
were drinking liqueur and eating strawberries: one of them, the Examining
Magistrate -- a stout elderly man, blagueur and wit -- must have been telling
some rather free anecdote, for, seeing their hostess, he suddenly clapped his
hands over his fat lips, rolled his eyes, and sat down. Olga Mihalovna did not
like the local officials. She did not care for their clumsy, ceremonious wives,
their scandal-mongering, their frequent visits, their flattery of her husband,
whom they all hated. Now, when they were drinking, were replete with food and
showed no signs of going away, she felt their presence an agonizing weariness;
but not to appear impolite, she smiled cordially to the Magistrate, and shook her
finger at him. She walked across the dining-room and drawing-room smiling, and
looking as though she had gone to give some order and make some arrangement.
"God grant no one stops me," she thought, but she forced herself to
stop in the drawing-room to listen from politeness to a young man who was
sitting at the piano playing: after standing for a minute, she cried,
"Bravo, bravo, M. Georges!" and clapping her hands twice, she went
on.
She found her husband
in his study. He was sitting at the table, thinking of something. His face
looked stern, thoughtful, and guilty. This was not the same Pyotr Dmitritch who
had been arguing at dinner and whom his guests knew, but a different man --
wearied, feeling guilty and dissatisfied with himself, whom nobody knew but his
wife. He must have come to the study to get cigarettes. Before him lay an open
cigarette-case full of cigarettes, and one of his hands was in the table
drawer; he had paused and sunk into thought as he was taking the cigarettes.
Olga Mihalovna felt
sorry for him. It was as clear as day that this man was harassed, could find no
rest, and was perhaps struggling with himself. Olga Mihalovna went up to the
table in silence: wanting to show that she had forgotten the argument at dinner
and was not cross, she shut the cigarette-case and put it in her husband's coat
pocket.
"What should I say
to him;" she wondered; "I shall say that lying is like a forest --
the further one goes into it the more difficult it is to get out of it. I will
say to him, 'You have been carried away by the false part you are playing; you
have insulted people who were attached to you and have done you no harm. Go and
apologize to them, laugh at yourself, and you will feel better. And if you want
peace and solitude, let us go away together."'
Meeting his wife's
gaze, Pyotr Dmitritch's face immediately assumed the expression it had worn at
dinner and in the garden -- indifferent and slightly ironical. He yawned and
got up.
"It's past
five," he said, looking at his watch. "If our visitors are merciful
and leave us at eleven, even then we have another six hours of it. It's a
cheerful prospect, there's no denying!"
And whistling
something, he walked slowly out of the study with his usual dignified gait. She
could hear him with dignified firmness cross the dining-room, then the
drawing-room, laugh with dignified assurance, and say to the young man who was
playing, "Bravo! bravo!" Soon his footsteps died away: he must have
gone out into the garden. And now not jealousy, not vexation, but real hatred
of his footsteps, his insincere laugh and voice, took possession of Olga
Mihalovna. She went to the window and looked out into the garden. Pyotr
Dmitritch was already walking along the avenue. Putting one hand in his pocket
and snapping the fingers of the other, he walked with confident swinging steps,
throwing his head back a little, and looking as though he were very well
satisfied with himself, with his dinner, with his digestion, and with nature. .
. .
Two little schoolboys,
the children of Madame Tchizhevsky, who had only just arrived, made their
appearance in the avenue, accompanied by their tutor, a student wearing a white
tunic and very narrow trousers. When they reached Pyotr Dmitritch, the boys and
the student stopped, and probably congratulated him on his name-day. With a
graceful swing of his shoulders, he patted the children on their cheeks, and
carelessly offered the student his hand without looking at him. The student
must have praised the weather and compared it with the climate of Petersburg,
for Pyotr Dmitritch said in a loud voice, in a tone as though he were not
speaking to a guest, but to an usher of the court or a witness:
"What! It's cold
in Petersburg? And here, my good sir, we have a salubrious atmosphere and the
fruits of the earth in abundance. Eh? What?"
And thrusting one hand
in his pocket and snapping the fingers of the other, he walked on. Till he had
disappeared behind the nut bushes, Olga Mihalovna watched the back of his head
in perplexity. How had this man of thirty-four come by the dignified deportment
of a general? How had he come by that impressive, elegant manner? Where had he
got that vibration of authority in his voice? Where had he got these
"what's," "to be sure's," and "my good sir's"?
Olga Mihalovna
remembered how in the first months of her marriage she had felt dreary at home
alone and had driven into the town to the Circuit Court, at which Pyotr
Dmitritch had sometimes presided in place of her godfather, Count Alexey
Petrovitch. In the presidential chair, wearing his uniform and a chain on his
breast, he was completely changed. Stately gestures, a voice of thunder,
"what," "to be sure," careless tones. . . . Everything, all
that was ordinary and human, all that was individual and personal to himself
that Olga Mihalovna was accustomed to seeing in him at home, vanished in
grandeur, and in the presidential chair there sat not Pyotr Dmitritch, but
another man whom every one called Mr. President. This consciousness of power
prevented him from sitting still in his place, and he seized every opportunity
to ring his bell, to glance sternly at the public, to shout. . . . Where had he
got his short-sight and his deafness when he suddenly began to see and hear
with difficulty, and, frowning majestically, insisted on people speaking louder
and coming closer to the table? From the height of his grandeur he could hardly
distinguish faces or sounds, so that it seemed that if Olga Mihalovna herself
had gone up to him he would have shouted even to her, "Your name?"
Peasant witnesses he addressed familiarly, he shouted at the public so that his
voice could be heard even in the street, and behaved incredibly with the
lawyers. If a lawyer had to speak to him, Pyotr Dmitritch, turning a little
away from him, looked with half-closed eyes at the ceiling, meaning to signify
thereby that the lawyer was utterly superfluous and that he was neither
recognizing him nor listening to him; if a badly-dressed lawyer spoke, Pyotr
Dmitritch pricked up his ears and looked the man up and down with a sarcastic,
annihilating stare as though to say: "Queer sort of lawyers nowadays!"
"What do you mean
by that?" he would interrupt.
If a would-be eloquent
lawyer mispronounced a foreign word, saying, for instance,
"factitious" instead of "fictitious," Pyotr Dmitritch
brightened up at once and asked, "What? How? Factitious? What does that
mean?" and then observed impressively: "Don't make use of words you
do not understand." And the lawyer, finishing his speech, would walk away
from the table, red and perspiring, while Pyotr Dmitritch, with a
self-satisfied smile, would lean back in his chair triumphant. In his manner
with the lawyers he imitated Count Alexey Petrovitch a little, but when the
latter said, for instance, "Counsel for the defence, you keep quiet for a
little!" it sounded paternally good-natured and natural, while the same
words in Pyotr Dmitritch's mouth were rude and artificial.
There were sounds of
applause. The young man had finished playing. Olga Mihalovna remembered her
guests and hurried into the drawing-room.
"I have so enjoyed
your playing," she said, going up to the piano. "I have so enjoyed
it. You have a wonderful talent! But don't you think our piano's out of
tune?"
At that moment the two
schoolboys walked into the room, accompanied by the student.
"My goodness!
Mitya and Kolya," Olga Mihalovna drawled joyfully, going to meet them:
"How big they have grown! One would not know you! But where is your
mamma?"
"I congratulate
you on the name-day," the student began in a free-and-easy tone, "and
I wish you all happiness. Ekaterina Andreyevna sends her congratulations and
begs you to excuse her. She is not very well."
"How unkind of
her! I have been expecting her all day. Is it long since you left
Petersburg?" Olga Mihalovna asked the student. "What kind of weather
have you there now?" And without waiting for an answer, she looked
cordially at the school-boys and repeated:
"How tall they
have grown! It is not long since they used to come with their nurse, and they
are at school already! The old grow older while the young grow up. . . . Have
you had dinner?"
"Oh, please don't
trouble!" said the student.
"Why, you have not
had dinner?"
"For goodness'
sake, don't trouble!"
"But I suppose you
are hungry?" Olga Mihalovna said it in a harsh, rude voice, with
impatience and vexation -- it escaped her unawares, but at once she coughed,
smiled, and flushed crimson. "How tall they have grown!" she said
softly.
"Please don't
trouble!" the student said once more.
The student begged her
not to trouble; the boys said nothing; obviously all three of them were hungry.
Olga Mihalovna took them into the dining-room and told Vassily to lay the
table.
"How unkind of
your mamma!" she said as she made them sit down. "She has quite
forgotten me. Unkind, unkind, unkind . . . you must tell her so. What are you
studying?" she asked the student.
"Medicine."
"Well, I have a
weakness for doctors, only fancy. I am very sorry my husband is not a doctor.
What courage any one must have to perform an operation or dissect a corpse, for
instance! Horrible! Aren't you frightened? I believe I should die of terror! Of
course, you drink vodka?"
"Please don't
trouble."
"After your
journey you must have something to drink. Though I am a woman, even I drink
sometimes. And Mitya and Kolya will drink Malaga. It's not a strong wine; you
need not be afraid of it. What fine fellows they are, really! They'll be
thinking of getting married next."
Olga Mihalovna talked
without ceasing; she knew by experience that when she had guests to entertain
it was far easier and more comfortable to talk than to listen. When you talk
there is no need to strain your attention to think of answers to questions, and
to change your expression of face. But unawares she asked the student a serious
question; the student began a lengthy speech and she was forced to listen. The
student knew that she had once been at the University, and so tried to seem a
serious person as he talked to her.
"What subject are
you studying?" she asked, forgetting that she had already put that
question to him.
"Medicine."
Olga Mihalovna now
remembered that she had been away from the ladies for a long while.
"Yes? Then I
suppose you are going to be a doctor?" she said, getting up. "That's
splendid. I am sorry I did not go in for medicine myself. So you will finish
your dinner here, gentlemen, and then come into the garden. I will introduce
you to the young ladies."
She went out and
glanced at her watch: it was five minutes to six. And she wondered that the
time had gone so slowly, and thought with horror that there were six more hours
before midnight, when the party would break up. How could she get through those
six hours? What phrases could she utter? How should she behave to her husband?
There was not a soul in
the drawing-room or on the verandah. All the guests were sauntering about the
garden.
"I shall have to
suggest a walk in the birchwood before tea, or else a row in the boats,"
thought Olga Mihalovna, hurrying to the croquet ground, from which came the
sounds of voices and laughter.
"And sit the old
people down to vint. . . ." She met Grigory the footman coming from the
croquet ground with empty bottles.
"Where are the
ladies?" she asked.
"Among the
raspberry-bushes. The master's there, too."
"Oh, good
heavens!" some one on the croquet lawn shouted with exasperation. "I
have told you a thousand times over! To know the Bulgarians you must see them!
You can't judge from the papers!"
Either because of the
outburst or for some other reason, Olga Mihalovna was suddenly aware of a
terrible weakness all over, especially in her legs and in her shoulders. She
felt she could not bear to speak, to listen, or to move.
"Grigory,"
she said faintly and with an effort, "when you have to serve tea or
anything, please don't appeal to me, don't ask me anything, don't speak of
anything. . . . Do it all yourself, and . . . and don't make a noise with your
feet, I entreat you. . . . I can't, because . . ."
Without finishing, she
walked on towards the croquet lawn, but on the way she thought of the ladies,
and turned towards the raspberry-bushes. The sky, the air, and the trees looked
gloomy again and threatened rain; it was hot and stifling. An immense flock of
crows, foreseeing a storm, flew cawing over the garden. The paths were more
overgrown, darker, and narrower as they got nearer the kitchen garden. In one
of them, buried in a thick tangle of wild pear, crab-apple, sorrel, young oaks,
and hopbine, clouds of tiny black flies swarmed round Olga Mihalovna. She
covered her face with her hands and began forcing herself to think of the
little creature. . . . There floated through her imagination the figures of Grigory,
Mitya, Kolya, the faces of the peasants who had come in the morning to present
their congratulations. . . .
She heard footsteps,
and she opened her eyes. Uncle Nikolay Nikolaitch was coming rapidly towards
her.
"It's you, dear? I
am very glad . . ." he began, breathless. "A couple of words. . .
." He mopped with his handkerchief his red shaven chin, then suddenly
stepped back a pace, flung up his hands and opened his eyes wide. "My dear
girl, how long is this going on?" he said rapidly, spluttering. "I
ask you: is there no limit to it? I say nothing of the demoralizing effect of
his martinet views on all around him, of the way he insults all that is sacred
and best in me and in every honest thinking man -- I will say nothing about
that, but he might at least behave decently! Why, he shouts, he bellows, gives
himself airs, poses as a sort of Bonaparte, does not let one say a word. . . .
I don't know what the devil's the matter with him! These lordly gestures, this
condescending tone; and laughing like a general! Who is he, allow me to ask
you? I ask you, who is he? The husband of his wife, with a few paltry acres and
the rank of a titular who has had the luck to marry an heiress! An upstart and
a junker, like so many others! A type out of Shtchedrin! Upon my word, it's
either that he's suffering from megalomania, or that old rat in his dotage,
Count Alexey Petrovitch, is right when he says that children and young people
are a long time growing up nowadays, and go on playing they are cabmen and generals
till they are forty!"
"That's true,
that's true," Olga Mihalovna assented. "Let me pass."
"Now just
consider: what is it leading to?" her uncle went on, barring her way.
"How will this playing at being a general and a Conservative end? Already
he has got into trouble! Yes, to stand his trial! I am very glad of it! That's
what his noise and shouting has brought him to -- to stand in the prisoner's
dock. And it's not as though it were the Circuit Court or something: it's the
Central Court! Nothing worse could be imagined, I think! And then he has
quarrelled with every one! He is celebrating his name-day, and look,
Vostryakov's not here, nor Yahontov, nor Vladimirov, nor Shevud, nor the Count.
. . . There is no one, I imagine, more Conservative than Count Alexey
Petrovitch, yet even he has not come. And he never will come again. He won't
come, you will see!"
"My God! but what
has it to do with me?" asked Olga Mihalovna.
"What has it to do
with you? Why, you are his wife! You are clever, you have had a university
education, and it was in your power to make him an honest worker!"
"At the lectures I
went to they did not teach us how to influence tiresome people. It seems as
though I should have to apologize to all of you for having been at the
University," said Olga Mihalovna sharply. "Listen, uncle. If people
played the same scales over and over again the whole day long in your hearing,
you wouldn't be able to sit still and listen, but would run away. I hear the
same thing over again for days together all the year round. You must have pity
on me at last."
Her uncle pulled a very
long face, then looked at her searchingly and twisted his lips into a mocking
smile.
"So that's how it
is," he piped in a voice like an old woman's. "I beg your
pardon!" he said, and made a ceremonious bow. "If you have fallen
under his influence yourself, and have abandoned your convictions, you should
have said so before. I beg your pardon!"
"Yes, I have
abandoned my convictions," she cried. "There; make the most of
it!"
"I beg your
pardon!"
Her uncle for the last
time made her a ceremonious bow, a little on one side, and, shrinking into
himself, made a scrape with his foot and walked back.
"Idiot!"
thought Olga Mihalovna. "I hope he will go home."
She found the ladies
and the young people among the raspberries in the kitchen garden. Some were
eating raspberries; others, tired of eating raspberries, were strolling about
the strawberry beds or foraging among the sugar-peas. A little on one side of
the raspberry bed, near a branching apple-tree propped up by posts which had
been pulled out of an old fence, Pyotr Dmitritch was mowing the grass. His hair
was falling over his forehead, his cravat was untied. His watch-chain was
hanging loose. Every step and every swing of the scythe showed skill and the
possession of immense physical strength. Near him were standing Lubotchka and
the daughters of a neighbour, Colonel Bukryeev -- two anaemic and unhealthily
stout fair girls, Natalya and Valentina, or, as they were always called, Nata
and Vata, both wearing white frocks and strikingly like each other. Pyotr
Dmitritch was teaching them to mow.
"It's very
simple," he said. "You have only to know how to hold the scythe and
not to get too hot over it -- that is, not to use more force than is necessary!
Like this. . . . Wouldn't you like to try?" he said, offering the scythe
to Lubotchka. "Come!"
Lubotchka took the
scythe clumsily, blushed crimson, and laughed.
"Don't be afraid,
Lubov Alexandrovna!" cried Olga Mihalovna, loud enough for all the ladies
to hear that she was with them. "Don't be afraid! You must learn! If you
marry a Tolstoyan he will make you mow."
Lubotchka raised the
scythe, but began laughing again, and, helpless with laughter, let go of it at
once. She was ashamed and pleased at being talked to as though grown up. Nata,
with a cold, serious face, with no trace of smiling or shyness, took the
scythe, swung it and caught it in the grass; Vata, also without a smile, as
cold and serious as her sister, took the scythe, and silently thrust it into
the earth. Having done this, the two sisters linked arms and walked in silence
to the raspberries.
Pyotr Dmitritch laughed
and played about like a boy, and this childish, frolicsome mood in which he
became exceedingly good-natured suited him far better than any other. Olga
Mihalovna loved him when he was like that. But his boyishness did not usually last
long. It did not this time; after playing with the scythe, he for some reason
thought it necessary to take a serious tone about it.
"When I am mowing,
I feel, do you know, healthier and more normal," he said. "If I were
forced to confine myself to an intellectual life I believe I should go out of
my mind. I feel that I was not born to be a man of culture! I ought to mow,
plough, sow, drive out the horses."
And Pyotr Dmitritch
began a conversation with the ladies about the advantages of physical labour,
about culture, and then about the pernicious effects of money, of property.
Listening to her husband, Olga Mihalovna, for some reason, thought of her
dowry.
"And the time will
come, I suppose," she thought, "when he will not forgive me for being
richer than he. He is proud and vain. Maybe he will hate me because he owes so
much to me."
She stopped near
Colonel Bukryeev, who was eating raspberries and also taking part in the
conversation.
"Come," he
said, making room for Olga Mihalovna and Pyotr Dmitritch. "The ripest are
here. . . . And so, according to Proudhon," he went on, raising his voice,
"property is robbery. But I must confess I don't believe in Proudhon, and
don't consider him a philosopher. The French are not authorities, to my
thinking -- God bless them!" "Well, as for Proudhons and Buckles and
the rest of them, I am weak in that department," said Pyotr Dmitritch.
"For philosophy you must apply to my wife. She has been at University
lectures and knows all your Schopenhauers and Proudhons by heart. . . ."
Olga Mihalovna felt
bored again. She walked again along a little path by apple and pear trees, and
looked again as though she was on some very important errand. She reached the
gardener's cottage. In the doorway the gardener's wife, Varvara, was sitting
together with her four little children with big shaven heads. Varvara, too, was
with child and expecting to be confined on Elijah's Day. After greeting her,
Olga Mihalovna looked at her and the children in silence and asked:
"Well, how do you
feel?"
"Oh, all right. .
. ."
A silence followed. The
two women seemed to understand each other without words.
"It's dreadful
having one's first baby," said Olga Mihalovna after a moment's thought.
"I keep feeling as though I shall not get through it, as though I shall
die."
"I fancied that,
too, but here I am alive. . . . One has all sorts of fancies."
Varvara, who was just
going to have her fifth, looked down a little on her mistress from the height
of her experience and spoke in a rather didactic tone, and Olga Mihalovna could
not help feeling her authority; she would have liked to have talked of her
fears, of the child, of her sensations, but she was afraid it might strike
Varvara as naïve and trivial. And she waited in silence for Varvara to say
something herself.
"Olya, we are
going indoors," Pyotr Dmitritch called from the raspberries.
Olga Mihalovna liked
being silent, waiting and watching Varvara. She would have been ready to stay
like that till night without speaking or having any duty to perform. But she
had to go. She had hardly left the cottage when Lubotchka, Nata, and Vata came
running to meet her. The sisters stopped short abruptly a couple of yards away;
Lubotchka ran right up to her and flung herself on her neck.
"You dear,
darling, precious," she said, kissing her face and her neck. "Let us
go and have tea on the island!"
"On the island, on
the island!" said the precisely similar Nata and Vata, both at once,
without a smile.
"But it's going to
rain, my dears."
"It's not, it's
not," cried Lubotchka with a woebegone face. "They've all agreed to
go. Dear! darling!"
"They are all
getting ready to have tea on the island," said Pyotr Dmitritch, coming up.
"See to arranging things. . . . We will all go in the boats, and the
samovars and all the rest of it must be sent in the carriage with the
servants."
He walked beside his
wife and gave her his arm. Olga Mihalovna had a desire to say something
disagreeable to her husband, something biting, even about her dowry perhaps --
the crueller the better, she felt. She thought a little, and said:
"Why is it Count
Alexey Petrovitch hasn't come? What a pity!"
"I am very glad he
hasn't come," said Pyotr Dmitritch, lying. "I'm sick to death of that
old lunatic."
"But yet before dinner
you were expecting him so eagerly!"
Half an hour later all
the guests were crowding on the bank near the pile to which the boats were
fastened. They were all talking and laughing, and were in such excitement and
commotion that they could hardly get into the boats. Three boats were crammed
with passengers, while two stood empty. The keys for unfastening these two
boats had been somehow mislaid, and messengers were continually running from
the river to the house to look for them. Some said Grigory had the keys, others
that the bailiff had them, while others suggested sending for a blacksmith and
breaking the padlocks. And all talked at once, interrupting and shouting one
another down. Pyotr Dmitritch paced impatiently to and fro on the bank, shouting:
"What the devil's
the meaning of it! The keys ought always to be lying in the hall window! Who
has dared to take them away? The bailiff can get a boat of his own if he wants
one!"
At last the keys were
found. Then it appeared that two oars were missing. Again there was a great
hullabaloo. Pyotr Dmitritch, who was weary of pacing about the bank, jumped
into a long, narrow boat hollowed out of the trunk of a poplar, and, lurching
from side to side and almost falling into the water, pushed off from the bank.
The other boats followed him one after another, amid loud laughter and the
shrieks of the young ladies.
The white cloudy sky,
the trees on the riverside, the boats with the people in them, and the oars,
were reflected in the water as in a mirror; under the boats, far away below in
the bottomless depths, was a second sky with the birds flying across it. The
bank on which the house and gardens stood was high, steep, and covered with trees;
on the other, which was sloping, stretched broad green water-meadows with
sheets of water glistening in them. The boats had floated a hundred yards when,
behind the mournfully drooping willows on the sloping banks, huts and a herd of
cows came into sight; they began to hear songs, drunken shouts, and the strains
of a concertina.
Here and there on the
river fishing-boats were scattered about, setting their nets for the night. In
one of these boats was the festive party, playing on home-made violins and
violoncellos.
Olga Mihalovna was
sitting at the rudder; she was smiling affably and talking a great deal to
entertain her visitors, while she glanced stealthily at her husband. He was
ahead of them all, standing up punting with one oar. The light sharp-nosed
canoe, which all the guests called the "death-trap" -- while Pyotr
Dmitritch, for some reason, called it Penderaklia -- flew along quickly; it had
a brisk, crafty expression, as though it hated its heavy occupant and was
looking out for a favourable moment to glide away from under his feet. Olga
Mihalovna kept looking at her husband, and she loathed his good looks which
attracted every one, the back of his head, his attitude, his familiar manner
with women; she hated all the women sitting in the boat with her, was jealous,
and at the same time was trembling every minute in terror that the frail craft
would upset and cause an accident.
"Take care,
Pyotr!" she cried, while her heart fluttered with terror. "Sit down!
We believe in your courage without all that!"
She was worried, too,
by the people who were in the boat with her. They were all ordinary good sort
of people like thousands of others, but now each one of them struck her as
exceptional and evil. In each one of them she saw nothing but falsity.
"That young man," she thought, "rowing, in gold-rimmed
spectacles, with chestnut hair and a nice-looking beard: he is a mamma's
darling, rich, and well-fed, and always fortunate, and every one considers him
an honourable, free-thinking, advanced man. It's not a year since he left the
University and came to live in the district, but he already talks of himself as
'we active members of the Zemstvo.' But in another year he will be bored like
so many others and go off to Petersburg, and to justify running away, will tell
every one that the Zemstvos are good-for-nothing, and that he has been deceived
in them. While from the other boat his young wife keeps her eyes fixed on him,
and believes that he is 'an active member of the Zemstvo,' just as in a year she
will believe that the Zemstvo is good-for-nothing. And that stout, carefully
shaven gentleman in the straw hat with the broad ribbon, with an expensive
cigar in his mouth: he is fond of saying, 'It is time to put away dreams and
set to work!' He has Yorkshire pigs, Butler's hives, rape-seed, pine-apples, a
dairy, a cheese factory, Italian book-keeping by double entry; but every summer
he sells his timber and mortgages part of his land to spend the autumn with his
mistress in the Crimea. And there's Uncle Nikolay Nikolaitch, who has
quarrelled with Pyotr Dmitritch, and yet for some reason does not go
home."
Olga Mihalovna looked
at the other boats, and there, too, she saw only uninteresting, queer
creatures, affected or stupid people. She thought of all the people she knew in
the district, and could not remember one person of whom one could say or think
anything good. They all seemed to her mediocre, insipid, unintelligent, narrow,
false, heartless; they all said what they did not think, and did what they did
not want to. Dreariness and despair were stifling her; she longed to leave off
smiling, to leap up and cry out, "I am sick of you," and then jump
out and swim to the bank.
"I say, let's take
Pyotr Dmitritch in tow!" some one shouted.
"In tow, in tow!"
the others chimed in. "Olga Mihalovna, take your husband in tow."
To take him in tow,
Olga Mihalovna, who was steering, had to seize the right moment and to catch
hold of his boat by the chain at the beak. When she bent over to the chain
Pyotr Dmitritch frowned and looked at her in alarm.
"I hope you won't
catch cold," he said.
"If you are uneasy
about me and the child, why do you torment me?" thought Olga Mihalovna.
Pyotr Dmitritch
acknowledged himself vanquished, and, not caring to be towed, jumped from the
Penderaklia into the boat which was overful already, and jumped so carelessly
that the boat lurched violently, and every one cried out in terror.
"He did that to
please the ladies," thought Olga Mihalovna; "he knows it's
charming." Her hands and feet began trembling, as she supposed, from
boredom, vexation from the strain of smiling and the discomfort she felt all
over her body. And to conceal this trembling from her guests, she tried to talk
more loudly, to laugh, to move.
"If I suddenly begin
to cry," she thought, "I shall say I have toothache. . . ."
But at last the boats
reached the "Island of Good Hope," as they called the peninsula
formed by a bend in the river at an acute angle, covered with a copse of old
birch-trees, oaks, willows, and poplars. The tables were already laid under the
trees; the samovars were smoking, and Vassily and Grigory, in their
swallow-tails and white knitted gloves, were already busy with the tea-things.
On the other bank, opposite the "Island of Good Hope," there stood
the carriages which had come with the provisions. The baskets and parcels of
provisions were carried across to the island in a little boat like the
Penderaklia. The footmen, the coachmen, and even the peasant who was sitting in
the boat, had the solemn expression befitting a name-day such as one only sees
in children and servants.
While Olga Mihalovna
was making the tea and pouring out the first glasses, the visitors were busy
with the liqueurs and sweet things. Then there was the general commotion usual
at picnics over drinking tea, very wearisome and exhausting for the hostess.
Grigory and Vassily had hardly had time to take the glasses round before hands
were being stretched out to Olga Mihalovna with empty glasses. One asked for no
sugar, another wanted it stronger, another weak, a fourth declined another
glass. And all this Olga Mihalovna had to remember, and then to call,
"Ivan Petrovitch, is it without sugar for you?" or, "Gentlemen,
which of you wanted it weak?" But the guest who had asked for weak tea, or
no sugar, had by now forgotten it, and, absorbed in agreeable conversation,
took the first glass that came. Depressed-looking figures wandered like shadows
at a little distance from the table, pretending to look for mushrooms in the grass,
or reading the labels on the boxes -- these were those for whom there were not
glasses enough. "Have you had tea?" Olga Mihalovna kept asking, and
the guest so addressed begged her not to trouble, and said, "I will
wait," though it would have suited her better for the visitors not to wait
but to make haste.
Some, absorbed in
conversation, drank their tea slowly, keeping their glasses for half an hour;
others, especially some who had drunk a good deal at dinner, would not leave
the table, and kept on drinking glass after glass, so that Olga Mihalovna
scarcely had time to fill them. One jocular young man sipped his tea through a
lump of sugar, and kept saying, "Sinful man that I am, I love to indulge
myself with the Chinese herb." He kept asking with a heavy sigh:
"Another tiny dish of tea more, if you please." He drank a great
deal, nibbled his sugar, and thought it all very amusing and original, and
imagined that he was doing a clever imitation of a Russian merchant. None of
them understood that these trifles were agonizing to their hostess, and,
indeed, it was hard to understand it, as Olga Mihalovna went on all the time
smiling affably and talking nonsense.
But she felt ill. . . .
She was irritated by the crowd of people, the laughter, the questions, the
jocular young man, the footmen harassed and run off their legs, the children
who hung round the table; she was irritated at Vata's being like Nata, at
Kolya's being like Mitya, so that one could not tell which of them had had tea
and which of them had not. She felt that her smile of forced affability was
passing into an expression of anger, and she felt every minute as though she
would burst into tears.
"Rain, my
friends," cried some one.
Every one looked at the
sky.
"Yes, it really is
rain . . ." Pyotr Dmitritch assented, and wiped his cheek.
Only a few drops were
falling from the sky -- the real rain had not begun yet; but the company
abandoned their tea and made haste to get off. At first they all wanted to
drive home in the carriages, but changed their minds and made for the boats. On
the pretext that she had to hasten home to give directions about the supper,
Olga Mihalovna asked to be excused for leaving the others, and went home in the
carriage.
When she got into the
carriage, she first of all let her face rest from smiling. With an angry face
she drove through the village, and with an angry face acknowledged the bows of
the peasants she met. When she got home, she went to the bedroom by the back
way and lay down on her husband's bed.
"Merciful
God!" she whispered. "What is all this hard labour for? Why do all
these people hustle each other here and pretend that they are enjoying
themselves? Why do I smile and lie? I don't understand it."
She heard steps and
voices. The visitors had come back.
"Let them
come," thought Olga Mihalovna; "I shall lie a little longer."
But a maid-servant came
and said:
"Marya Grigoryevna
is going, madam."
Olga Mihalovna jumped
up, tidied her hair and hurried out of the room.
"Marya
Grigoryevna, what is the meaning of this?" she began in an injured voice,
going to meet Marya Grigoryevna. "Why are you in such a hurry?"
"I can't help it,
darling! I've stayed too long as it is; my children are expecting me
home."
"It's too bad of
you! Why didn't you bring your children with you?"
"If you will let
me, dear, I will bring them on some ordinary day, but to-day . . ."
"Oh, please
do," Olga Mihalovna interrupted; "I shall be delighted! Your children
are so sweet! Kiss them all for me. . . . But, really, I am offended with you!
I don't understand why you are in such a hurry!"
"I really must, I
really must. . . . Good-bye, dear. Take care of yourself. In your condition,
you know . . ."
And the ladies kissed
each other. After seeing the departing guest to her carriage, Olga Mihalovna
went in to the ladies in the drawing-room. There the lamps were already lighted
and the gentlemen were sitting down to cards.
The party broke up
after supper about a quarter past twelve. Seeing her visitors off, Olga
Mihalovna stood at the door and said:
"You really ought
to take a shawl! It's turning a little chilly. Please God, you don't catch
cold! "
"Don't trouble,
Olga Mihalovna," the ladies answered as they got into the carriage.
"Well, good-bye. Mind now, we are expecting you; don't play us
false!"
"Wo-o-o!" the
coachman checked the horses.
"Ready, Denis!
Good-bye, Olga Mihalovna!"
"Kiss the children
for me!"
The carriage started
and immediately disappeared into the darkness. In the red circle of light cast
by the lamp in the road, a fresh pair or trio of impatient horses, and the
silhouette of a coachman with his hands held out stiffly before him, would come
into view. Again there began kisses, reproaches, and entreaties to come again
or to take a shawl. Pyotr Dmitritch kept running out and helping the ladies
into their carriages.
"You go now by
Efremovshtchina," he directed the coachman; "it's nearer through
Mankino, but the road is worse that way. You might have an upset. . . .
Good-bye, my charmer. Mille compliments to your artist!"
"Good-bye, Olga
Mihalovna, darling! Go indoors, or you will catch cold! It's damp!"
"Wo-o-o! you
rascal!"
"What horses have
you got here?" Pyotr Dmitritch asked.
"They were bought
from Haidorov, in Lent," answered the coachman.
"Capital horses. .
. ."
And Pyotr Dmitritch
patted the trace horse on the haunch.
"Well, you can
start! God give you good luck!"
The last visitor was
gone at last; the red circle on the road quivered, moved aside, contracted and
went out, as Vassily carried away the lamp from the entrance. On previous
occasions when they had seen off their visitors, Pyotr Dmitritch and Olga
Mihalovna had begun dancing about the drawing-room, facing each other, clapping
their hands and singing: "They've gone! They've gone!" But now Olga
Mihalovna was not equal to that. She went to her bedroom, undressed, and got
into bed.
She fancied she would
fall asleep at once and sleep soundly. Her legs and her shoulders ached
painfully, her head was heavy from the strain of talking, and she was
conscious, as before, of discomfort all over her body. Covering her head over,
she lay still for three or four minutes, then peeped out from under the
bed-clothes at the lamp before the ikon, listened to the silence, and smiled.
"It's nice, it's
nice," she whispered, curling up her legs, which felt as if they had grown
longer from so much walking. "Sleep, sleep. . . ."
Her legs would not get
into a comfortable position; she felt uneasy all over, and she turned on the
other side. A big fly blew buzzing about the bedroom and thumped against the
ceiling. She could hear, too, Grigory and Vassily stepping cautiously about the
drawing-room, putting the chairs back in their places; it seemed to Olga
Mihalovna that she could not go to sleep, nor be comfortable till those sounds
were hushed. And again she turned over on the other side impatiently.
She heard her husband's
voice in the drawing-room. Some one must be staying the night, as Pyotr
Dmitritch was addressing some one and speaking loudly:
"I don't say that
Count Alexey Petrovitch is an impostor. But he can't help seeming to be one,
because all of you gentlemen attempt to see in him something different from
what he really is. His craziness is looked upon as originality, his familiar
manners as good-nature, and his complete absence of opinions as Conservatism.
Even granted that he is a Conservative of the stamp of '84, what after all is
Conservatism?"
Pyotr Dmitritch, angry
with Count Alexey Petrovitch, his visitors, and himself, was relieving his
heart. He abused both the Count and his visitors, and in his vexation with
himself was ready to speak out and to hold forth upon anything. After seeing
his guest to his room, he walked up and down the drawing-room, walked through
the dining-room, down the corridor, then into his study, then again went into
the drawing-room, and came into the bed-room. Olga Mihalovna was lying on her
back, with the bed-clothes only to her waist (by now she felt hot), and with an
angry face, watched the fly that was thumping against the ceiling.
"Is some one
staying the night?" she asked.
"Yegorov."
Pyotr Dmitritch
undressed and got into his bed. Without speaking, he lighted a cigarette, and
he, too, fell to watching the fly. There was an uneasy and forbidding look in
his eyes. Olga Mihalovna looked at his handsome profile for five minutes in
silence. It seemed to her for some reason that if her husband were suddenly to
turn facing her, and to say, "Olga, I am unhappy," she would cry or
laugh, and she would be at ease. She fancied that her legs were aching and her
body was uncomfortable all over because of the strain on her feelings.
"Pyotr, what are
you thinking of?" she said.
"Oh, nothing . .
." her husband answered.
"You have taken to
having secrets from me of late: that's not right."
"Why is it not
right?" answered Pyotr Dmitritch drily and not at once. "We all have
our personal life, every one of us, and we are bound to have our secrets."
"Personal life,
our secrets . . . that's all words! Understand you are wounding me!" said
Olga Mihalovna, sitting up in bed. "If you have a load on your heart, why
do you hide it from me? And why do you find it more suitable to open your heart
to women who are nothing to you, instead of to your wife? I overheard your
outpourings to Lubotchka by the bee-house to-day."
"Well, I
congratulate you. I am glad you did overhear it."
This meant "Leave
me alone and let me think." Olga Mihalovna was indignant. Vexation,
hatred, and wrath, which had been accumulating within her during the whole day,
suddenly boiled over; she wanted at once to speak out, to hurt her husband
without putting it off till to-morrow, to wound him, to punish him. . . .
Making an effort to control herself and not to scream, she said:
"Let me tell you,
then, that it's all loathsome, loathsome, loathsome! I've been hating you all
day; you see what you've done."
Pyotr Dmitritch, too,
got up and sat on the bed.
"It's loathsome,
loathsome, loathsome," Olga Mihalovna went on, beginning to tremble all
over. "There's no need to congratulate me; you had better congratulate
yourself! It's a shame, a disgrace. You have wrapped yourself in lies till you
are ashamed to be alone in the room with your wife! You are a deceitful man! I
see through you and understand every step you take!"
"Olya, I wish you
would please warn me when you are out of humour. Then I will sleep in the
study."
Saying this, Pyotr
Dmitritch picked up his pillow and walked out of the bedroom. Olga Mihalovna
had not foreseen this. For some minutes she remained silent with her mouth
open, trembling all over and looking at the door by which her husband had gone
out, and trying to understand what it meant. Was this one of the devices to
which deceitful people have recourse when they are in the wrong, or was it a
deliberate insult aimed at her pride? How was she to take it? Olga Mihalovna
remembered her cousin, a lively young officer, who often used to tell her,
laughing, that when "his spouse nagged at him" at night, he usually
picked up his pillow and went whistling to spend the night in his study,
leaving his wife in a foolish and ridiculous position. This officer was married
to a rich, capricious, and foolish woman whom he did not respect but simply put
up with.
Olga Mihalovna jumped
out of bed. To her mind there was only one thing left for her to do now; to
dress with all possible haste and to leave the house forever. The house was her
own, but so much the worse for Pyotr Dmitritch. Without pausing to consider
whether this was necessary or not, she went quickly to the study to inform her
husband of her intention ("Feminine logic!" flashed through her
mind), and to say something wounding and sarcastic at parting. . . .
Pyotr Dmitritch was
lying on the sofa and pretending to read a newspaper. There was a candle
burning on a chair near him. His face could not be seen behind the newspaper.
"Be so kind as to
tell me what this means? I am asking you."
"Be so kind . .
." Pyotr Dmitritch mimicked her, not showing his face. "It's
sickening, Olga! Upon my honour, I am exhausted and not up to it. . . . Let us
do our quarrelling to-morrow."
"No, I understand
you perfectly!" Olga Mihalovna went on. "You hate me! Yes, yes! You
hate me because I am richer than you! You will never forgive me for that, and
will always be lying to me!" ("Feminine logic!" flashed through
her mind again.) "You are laughing at me now. . . . I am convinced, in
fact, that you only married me in order to have property qualifications and
those wretched horses. . . . Oh, I am miserable!"
Pyotr Dmitritch dropped
the newspaper and got up. The unexpected insult overwhelmed him. With a
childishly helpless smile he looked desperately at his wife, and holding out
his hands to her as though to ward off blows, he said imploringly:
"Olya!"
And expecting her to
say something else awful, he leaned back in his chair, and his huge figure
seemed as helplessly childish as his smile.
"Olya, how could
you say it?" he whispered.
Olga Mihalovna came to
herself. She was suddenly aware of her passionate love for this man, remembered
that he was her husband, Pyotr Dmitritch, without whom she could not live for a
day, and who loved her passionately, too. She burst into loud sobs that sounded
strange and unlike her, and ran back to her bedroom.
She fell on the bed,
and short hysterical sobs, choking her and making her arms and legs twitch,
filled the bedroom. Remembering there was a visitor sleeping three or four
rooms away, she buried her head under the pillow to stifle her sobs, but the
pillow rolled on to the floor, and she almost fell on the floor herself when
she stooped to pick it up. She pulled the quilt up to her face, but her hands
would not obey her, but tore convulsively at everything she clutched.
She thought that
everything was lost, that the falsehood she had told to wound her husband had
shattered her life into fragments. Her husband would not forgive her. The
insult she had hurled at him was not one that could be effaced by any caresses,
by any vows. . . . How could she convince her husband that she did not believe
what she had said?
"It's all over,
it's all over!" she cried, not noticing that the pillow had slipped on to
the floor again. "For God's sake, for God's sake!"
Probably roused by her
cries, the guest and the servants were now awake; next day all the
neighbourhood would know that she had been in hysterics and would blame Pyotr
Dmitritch. She made an effort to restrain herself, but her sobs grew louder and
louder every minute.
"For God's
sake," she cried in a voice not like her own, and not knowing why she
cried it. "For God's sake!"
She felt as though the
bed were heaving under her and her feet were entangled in the bed-clothes.
Pyotr Dmitritch, in his dressing-gown, with a candle in his hand, came into the
bedroom.
"Olya, hush!"
he said.
She raised herself, and
kneeling up in bed, screwing up her eyes at the light, articulated through her
sobs:
"Understand . . .
understand! . . ."
She wanted to tell him
that she was tired to death by the party, by his falsity, by her own falsity,
that it had all worked together, but she could only articulate:
"Understand . . .
understand!"
"Come,
drink!" he said, handing her some water.
She took the glass
obediently and began drinking, but the water splashed over and was spilt on her
arms, her throat and knees.
"I must look
horribly unseemly," she thought.
Pyotr Dmitritch put her
back in bed without a word, and covered her with the quilt, then he took the
candle and went out.
"For God's
sake!" Olga Mihalovna cried again. "Pyotr, understand,
understand!"
Suddenly something
gripped her in the lower part of her body and back with such violence that her
wailing was cut short, and she bit the pillow from the pain. But the pain let
her go again at once, and she began sobbing again.
The maid came in, and
arranging the quilt over her, asked in alarm:
"Mistress,
darling, what is the matter?"
"Go out of the
room," said Pyotr Dmitritch sternly, going up to the bed.
"Understand . . .
understand! . . ." Olga Mihalovna began.
"Olya, I entreat
you, calm yourself," he said. "I did not mean to hurt you. I would
not have gone out of the room if I had known it would have hurt you so much; I
simply felt depressed. I tell you, on my honour . . ."
"Understand! . . .
You were lying, I was lying. . . ."
"I understand. . .
. Come, come, that's enough! I understand," said Pyotr Dmitritch tenderly,
sitting down on her bed. "You said that in anger; I quite understand. I
swear to God I love you beyond anything on earth, and when I married you I
never once thought of your being rich. I loved you immensely, and that's all .
. . I assure you. I have never been in want of money or felt the value of it,
and so I cannot feel the difference between your fortune and mine. It always
seemed to me we were equally well off. And that I have been deceitful in little
things, that . . . of course, is true. My life has hitherto been arranged in
such a frivolous way that it has somehow been impossible to get on without
paltry lying. It weighs on me, too, now. . . . Let us leave off talking about
it, for goodness' sake!"
Olga Mihalovna again
felt in acute pain, and clutched her husband by the sleeve.
"I am in pain, in
pain, in pain . . ." she said rapidly. "Oh, what pain!"
"Damnation take
those visitors!" muttered Pyotr Dmitritch, getting up. "You ought not
to have gone to the island to-day!" he cried. "What an idiot I was
not to prevent you! Oh, my God!"
He scratched his head
in vexation, and, with a wave of his hand, walked out of the room.
Then he came into the
room several times, sat down on the bed beside her, and talked a great deal,
sometimes tenderly, sometimes angrily, but she hardly heard him. Her sobs were
continually interrupted by fearful attacks of pain, and each time the pain was more
acute and prolonged. At first she held her breath and bit the pillow during the
pain, but then she began screaming on an unseemly piercing note. Once seeing
her husband near her, she remembered that she had insulted him, and without
pausing to think whether it were really Pyotr Dmitritch or whether she were in
delirium, clutched his hand in both hers and began kissing it.
"You were lying, I
was lying . . ." she began justifying herself. "Understand,
understand. . . . They have exhausted me, driven me out of all patience."
"Olya, we are not
alone," said Pyotr Dmitritch.
Olga Mihalovna raised
her head and saw Varvara, who was kneeling by the chest of drawers and pulling
out the bottom drawer. The top drawers were already open. Then Varvara got up,
red from the strained position, and with a cold, solemn face began trying to
unlock a box.
"Marya, I can't
unlock it!" she said in a whisper. "You unlock it, won't you?"
Marya, the maid, was
digging a candle end out of the candlestick with a pair of scissors, so as to
put in a new candle; she went up to Varvara and helped her to unlock the box.
"There should be
nothing locked . . ." whispered Varvara. "Unlock this basket, too, my
good girl. Master," she said, "you should send to Father Mihail to
unlock the holy gates! You must!"
"Do what you
like," said Pyotr Dmitritch, breathing hard, "only, for God's sake,
make haste and fetch the doctor or the midwife! Has Vassily gone? Send some one
else. Send your husband!"
"It's the
birth," Olga Mihalovna thought. "Varvara," she moaned, "but
he won't be born alive!"
"It's all right,
it's all right, mistress," whispered Varvara. "Please God, he will be
alive! he will be alive!"
When Olga Mihalovna
came to herself again after a pain she was no longer sobbing nor tossing from
side to side, but moaning. She could not refrain from moaning even in the
intervals between the pains. The candles were still burning, but the morning
light was coming through the blinds. It was probably about five o'clock in the
morning. At the round table there was sitting some unknown woman with a very
discreet air, wearing a white apron. From her whole appearance it was evident
she had been sitting there a long time. Olga Mihalovna guessed that she was the
midwife.
"Will it soon be
over?" she asked, and in her voice she heard a peculiar and unfamiliar
note which had never been there before. "I must be dying in
childbirth," she thought.
Pyotr Dmitritch came
cautiously into the bed-room, dressed for the day, and stood at the window with
his back to his wife. He lifted the blind and looked out of window.
"What rain!"
he said.
"What time is
it?" asked Olga Mihalovna, in order to hear the unfamiliar note in her
voice again.
"A quarter to
six," answered the midwife.
"And what if I
really am dying?" thought Olga Mihalovna, looking at her husband's head
and the window-panes on which the rain was beating. "How will he live
without me? With whom will he have tea and dinner, talk in the evenings,
sleep?"
And he seemed to her
like a forlorn child; she felt sorry for him and wanted to say something nice,
caressing and consolatory. She remembered how in the spring he had meant to buy
himself some harriers, and she, thinking it a cruel and dangerous sport, had
prevented him from doing it.
"Pyotr, buy
yourself harriers," she moaned.
He dropped the blind
and went up to the bed, and would have said something; but at that moment the
pain came back, and Olga Mihalovna uttered an unseemly, piercing scream.
The pain and the
constant screaming and moaning stupefied her. She heard, saw, and sometimes
spoke, but hardly understood anything, and was only conscious that she was in
pain or was just going to be in pain. It seemed to her that the name-day party
had been long, long ago -- not yesterday, but a year ago perhaps; and that her
new life of agony had lasted longer than her childhood, her school-days, her
time at the University, and her marriage, and would go on for a long, long
time, endlessly. She saw them bring tea to the midwife, and summon her at
midday to lunch and afterwards to dinner; she saw Pyotr Dmitritch grow used to
coming in, standing for long intervals by the window, and going out again; saw
strange men, the maid, Varvara, come in as though they were at home. . . .
Varvara said nothing but, "He will, he will," and was angry when any
one closed the drawers and the chest. Olga Mihalovna saw the light change in
the room and in the windows: at one time it was twilight, then thick like fog,
then bright daylight as it had been at dinner-time the day before, then again
twilight . . . and each of these changes lasted as long as her childhood, her
school-days, her life at the University. . . .
In the evening two
doctors -- one bony, bald, with a big red beard; the other with a swarthy
Jewish face and cheap spectacles -- performed some sort of operation on Olga
Mihalovna. To these unknown men touching her body she felt utterly indifferent.
By now she had no feeling of shame, no will, and any one might do what he would
with her. If any one had rushed at her with a knife, or had insulted Pyotr
Dmitritch, or had robbed her of her right to the little creature, she would not
have said a word.
They gave her
chloroform during the operation. When she came to again, the pain was still
there and insufferable. It was night. And Olga Mihalovna remembered that there
had been just such a night with the stillness, the lamp, with the midwife
sitting motionless by the bed, with the drawers of the chest pulled out, with
Pyotr Dmitritch standing by the window, but some time very, very long ago. . .
.
"I am not dead . .
." thought Olga Mihalovna when she began to understand her surroundings
again, and when the pain was over.
A bright summer day
looked in at the widely open windows; in the garden below the windows, the
sparrows and the magpies never ceased chattering for one instant.
The drawers were shut
now, her husband's bed had been made. There was no sign of the mid-wife or of
the maid, or of Varvara in the room, only Pyotr Dmitritch was standing, as
before, motionless by the window looking into the garden. There was no sound of
a child's crying, no one was congratulating her or rejoicing, it was evident
that the little creature had not been born alive.
"Pyotr!"
Olga Mihalovna called
to her husband.
Pyotr Dmitritch looked
round. It seemed as though a long time must have passed since the last guest
had departed and Olga Mihalovna had insulted her husband, for Pyotr Dmitritch
was perceptibly thinner and hollow-eyed.
"What is it?"
he asked, coming up to the bed.
He looked away, moved
his lips and smiled with childlike helplessness.
"Is it all
over?" asked Olga Mihalovna.
Pyotr Dmitritch tried
to make some answer, but his lips quivered and his mouth worked like a
toothless old man's, like Uncle Nikolay Nikolaitch's.
"Olya," he
said, wringing his hands; big tears suddenly dropping from his eyes.
"Olya, I don't care about your property qualification, nor the Circuit
Courts . . ." (he gave a sob) "nor particular views, nor those
visitors, nor your fortune. . . . I don't care about anything! Why didn't we
take care of our child? Oh, it's no good talking!"
With a despairing
gesture he went out of the bed-room.
But nothing mattered to
Olga Mihalovna now, there was a mistiness in her brain from the chloroform, an
emptiness in her soul. . . . The dull indifference to life which had overcome
her when the two doctors were performing the operation still had possession of
her.