WINESBURG, OHIO A GROUP OF TALES OF OHIO SMALL TOWN LIFE BY SHERWOOD
ANDERSON NEW YORK, Printed for B. W. HUEBSCH, Inc., MCMXXI To the memory of my mother
EMMA SMITH ANDERSON
whose keen observations on the life about her
first awoke in me the hunger to see beneath
the surface of lives, this book is dedicated.
Some of the episodes in
this book were printed in The Seven Arts, The Masses, and The Little Review, to
which magazines the author makes due acknowledgment.
THE Writer, an old man
with a white mustache, had some difficulty in getting into bed. The windows of
the house in which he lived were high and he wanted to look at the trees when
he awoke in the morning. A carpenter came to fix the bed so that it would be on
a level with the window.
Quite a fuss was made
about the matter. The carpenter, who had been a soldier in the Civil War, came
into the writer's room and sat down to talk of building a platform for the
purpose of raising the bed. The writer had cigars lying about and the carpenter
smoked.
For a time the two men
talked of the raising of the bed and then they talked of other things. The
soldier got on the subject of the war. The writer, in fact, led him to that
subject. The carpenter had once been a prisoner in Andersonville prison and had
lost a brother. The brother had died of starvation, and whenever the carpenter
got upon that subject he cried. He, like the old writer, had a white mustache,
and when he cried he puckered up his lips and the mustache bobbed up and down.
The weeping old man with the cigar in his mouth was ludicrous. The plan the writer
had for the raising of his bed was forgotten and later the carpenter did it in
his own way and the writer, who was past sixty, had to help himself with a
chair when he went to bed at night.
In his bed the writer
rolled over on his side and lay quite still. For years he had been beset with
notions concerning his heart. He was a hard smoker and his heart fluttered. The
idea had got into his mind that he would some time die unexpectedly and always
when he got into bed he thought of that. It did not alarm him. The effect in
fact was quite a special thing and not easily explained. It made him more
alive, there in bed, than at any other time. Perfectly still he lay and his
body was old and not of much use any more, but something inside him was
altogether young. He was like a pregnant woman, only that the thing inside him
was not a baby but a youth. No, it wasn't a youth, it was a woman, young, and
wearing a coat of mail like a knight. It is absurd, you see, to try to tell
what was inside the old writer as he lay on his high bed and listened to the
fluttering of his heart. The thing to get at is what the writer, or the young
thing within the writer, was thinking about.
The old writer, like
all of the people in the world,had got, during his long fife, a great many
notions in his head. He had once been quite handsome and a number of women had
been in love with him. And then, of course, he had known people, many people,
known them in a peculiarly intimate way that was different from the way in
which you and I know people. At least that is what the writer thought and the
thought pleased him. Why quarrel with an old man concerning his thoughts?
In the bed the writer
had a dream that was not a dream. As he grew somewhat sleepy but was still
conscious, figures began to appear before his eyes. He imagined the young
indescribable thing within himself was driving a long procession of figures
before his eyes.
You see the interest in
all this lies in the figures that went before the eyes of the writer. They were
all grotesques. All of the men and women the writer had ever known had become
grotesques.
The grotesques were not
all horrible. Some were amusing, some almost beautiful, and one, a woman all
drawn out of shape, hurt the old man by her grotesqueness. When she passed he
made a noise like a small dog whimpering. Had you come into the room you might
have supposed the old man had unpleasant dreams or perhaps indigestion.
For an hour the
procession of grotesques passed before the eyes of the old man, and then, although
it was a painful thing to do, he crept out of bed and began to write. Some one
of the grotesques had made a deep impression on his mind and he wanted to
describe it.
At his desk the writer
worked for an hour. In the end he wrote a book which he called "The Book
of the Grotesque." It was never published, but I saw it once and it made
an indelible impression on my mind. The book had one central thought that is
very strange and has always remained with me. By remembering it I have been
able to understand many people and things that I was never able to understand
before. The thought was involved but a simple statement of it would be
something like this:
That in the beginning
when the world was young there were a great many thoughts but no such thing as
a truth. Man made the truths himself and each truth was a composite of a great
many vague thoughts. All about in the world were the truths and they were all
beautiful.
The old man had listed
hundreds of the truths in his book. I will not try to tell you of all of them.
There was the truth of virginity and the truth of passion, the truth of wealth
and of poverty, of thrift and of profligacy, of carelessness and abandon.
Hundreds and hundreds were the truths and they were all beautiful.
And then the people
came along. Each as he appeared snatched up one of the truths and some who were
quite strong snatched up a dozen of them.
It was the truths that
made the people grotesques. The old man had quite an elaborate theory
concerning the matter. It was his notion that the moment one of the people took
one of the truths to himself, called it his truth, and tried to live his life
by it, he became a grotesque and the truth he embraced became a falsehood.
You can see for
yourself how the old man, who had spent all of his life writing and was filled
with words, would write hundreds of pages concerning this matter. The subject
would become so big in his mind that he himself would be in danger of becoming
a grotesque. He didn't, I suppose, for the same reason that he never published
the book. It was the young thing inside him that saved the old man.
Concerning the old
carpenter who fixed the bed for the writer, I only mentioned him because he,
like many of what are called very common people, became the nearest thing to
what is understandable and lovable of all the grotesques in the writer's book.
UPON the half decayed
veranda of a small frame house that stood near the edge of a ravine near the
town of Winesburg, Ohio, a fat little old man walked nervously up and down.
Across a long field that had been seeded for clover but that had produced only
a dense crop of yellow mustard weeds, he could see the public highway along
which went a wagon filled with berry pickers returning from the fields. The
berry pickers, youths and maidens, laughed and shouted boisterously. A boy clad
in a blue shirt leaped from the wagon and attempted to drag after him one of
the maidens, who screamed and protested shrilly. The feet of the boy in the
road kicked up a cloud of dust that floated across the face of the departing
sun. Over the long field came a thin girlish voice. "Oh, you Wing
Biddlebaum, comb your hair, it's falling into your eyes," commanded the
voice to the man, who was bald and whose nervous little hands fiddled about the
bare white forehead as though arranging a mass of tangled locks.
Wing Biddlebaum,
forever frightened and beset by a ghostly band of doubts, did not think of
himself as in any way a part of the life of the town where he had lived for
twenty years. Among all the people of Winesburg but one had come close to him.
With George Willard, son of Tom Willard, the proprietor of the New Willard
House, he had formed something like a friendship. George Willard was the
reporter on the Winesburg Eagle and sometimes in the evenings he walked out
along the highway to Wing Biddlebaum's house. Now as the old man walked up and
down on the veranda, his hands moving nervously about, he was hoping that
George Willard would come and spend the evening with him. After the wagon
containing the berry pickers had passed, he went across the field through the
tall mustard weeds and climbing a rail fence peered anxiously along the road to
the town. For a moment he stood thus, rubbing his hands together and looking up
and down the road, and then, fear overcoming him, ran back to walk again upon
the porch on his own house.
In the presence of
George Willard, Wing Biddlebaum, who for twenty years had been the town
mystery, lost something of his timidity, and his shadowy personality, submerged
in a sea of doubts, came forth to look at the world. With the young reporter at
his side, he ventured in the light of day into Main Street or strode up and
down on the rickety front porch of his own house, talking excitedly. The voice that
had been low and trembling became shrill and loud. The bent figure
straightened. With a kind of wriggle, like a fish returned to the brook by the
fisherman, Biddlebaum the silent began to talk, striving to put into words the
ideas that had been accumulated by his mind during long years of silence.
Wing Biddlebaum talked
much with his hands. The slender expressive fingers, forever active, forever
striving to conceal themselves in his pockets or behind his back, came forth
and became the piston rods of his machinery of expression.
The story of Wing
Biddlebaum is a story of hands. Their restless activity, like unto the beating
of the wings of an imprisoned bird, had given him his name. Some obscure poet
of the town had thought of it. The hands alarmed their owner. He wanted to keep
them hidden away and looked with amazement at the quiet inexpressive hands of
other men who worked beside him in the fields, or passed, driving sleepy teams
on country roads.
When he talked to
George Willard, Wing Biddlebaum closed his fists and beat with them upon a
table or on the walls of his house. The action made him more comfortable. If
the desire to talk came to him when the two were walking in the fields, he
sought out a stump or the top board of a fence and with his hands pounding
busily talked with renewed ease.
The story of Wing
Biddlebaum's hands is worth a book in itself. Sympathetically set forth it
would tap many strange, beautiful qualities in obscure men. It is a job for a
poet. In Winesburg the hands had attracted attention merely because of their
activity. With them Wing Biddlebaum had picked as high as a hundred and forty
quarts of strawberries in a day. They became his distinguishing feature, the
source of his fame. Also they made more grotesque an already grotesque and
elusive individuality. Winesburg was proud of the hands of Wing Biddlebaum in
the same spirit in which it was proud of Banker White's new stone house and
Wesley Moyer's bay stallion, Tony Tip, that had won the two-fifteen trot at the
fall races in Cleveland.
As for George Willard,
he had many times wanted to ask about the hands. At times an almost
overwhelming curiosity had taken hold of him. He felt that there must be a
reason for their strange activity and their inclination to keep hidden away and
only a growing respect for Wing Biddlebaum kept him from blurting out the
questions that were often in his mind.
Once he had been on the
point of asking. The two were walking in the fields on a summer afternoon and
had stopped to sit upon a grassy bank. All afternoon Wing Biddlebaum had talked
as one inspired. By a fence he had stopped and beating like a giant woodpecker
upon the top board had shouted at George Willard, condemning his tendency to be
too much influenced by the people about him, "You are destroying
yourself," he cried. "You have the inclination to be alone and to
dream and you are afraid of dreams. You want to be like others in town here.
You hear them talk and you try to imitate them."
On the grassy bank Wing
Biddlebaum had tried again to drive his point home. His voice became soft and
reminiscent, and with a sigh of contentment he launched into a long rambling
talk, speaking as one lost in a dream.
Out of the dream Wing
Biddlebaum made a picture for George Willard. In the picture men lived again in
a kind of pastoral golden age. Across a green open country came clean-limbed
young men, some afoot, some mounted upon horses. In crowds the young men came
to gather about the feet of an old man who sat beneath a tree in a tiny garden
and who talked to them.
Wing Biddlebaum became
wholly inspired. For once he forgot the hands. Slowly they stole forth and lay
upon George Willard's shoulders. Something new and bold came into the voice
that talked. "You must try to forget all you have learned," said the
old man. "You must begin to dream. From this time on you must shut your
ears to the roaring of the voices."
Pausing in his speech,
Wing Biddlebaum looked long and earnestly at George Willard. His eyes glowed.
Again he raised the hands to caress the boy and then a look of horror swept over
his face.
With a convulsive
movement of his body, Wing Biddlebaum sprang to his feet and thrust his hands
deep into his trousers pockets. Tears came to his eyes. "I must be getting
along home. I can talk no more with you," he said nervously.
Without looking back,
the old man had hurried down the hillside and across a meadow, leaving George
Willard perplexed and frightened upon the grassy slope. With a shiver of dread
the boy arose and went along the road toward town. "I'll not ask him about
his hands," he thought, touched by the memory of the terror he had seen in
the man's eyes. "There's something wrong, but I don't want to know what it
is. His hands have something to do with his fear of me and of everyone."
And George Willard was
right. Let us look briefly into the story of the hands. Perhaps our talking of
them will arouse the poet who will tell the hidden wonder story of the
influence for which the hands were but fluttering pennants of promise.
In his youth Wing
Biddlebaum had been a school teacher in a town in Pennsylvania. He was not then
known as Wing Biddlebaum, but went by the less euphonic name of Adolph Myers.
As Adolph Myers he was much loved by the boys of his school.
Adolph Myers was meant
by nature to be a teacher of youth. He was one of those rare, little-
understood men who rule by a power so gentle that it passes as a lovable
weakness. In their feeling for the boys under their charge such men are not
unlike the finer sort of women in their love of men.
And yet that is but
crudely stated. It needs the poet there. With the boys of his school, Adolph
Myers had walked in the evening or had sat talking until dusk upon the
schoolhouse steps lost in a kind of dream. Here and there went his hands,
caressing the shoulders of the boys, playing about the tousled heads. As he
talked his voice became soft and musical. There was a caress in that also. In a
way the voice and the hands, the stroking of the shoulders and the touching of
the hair were a part of the schoolmaster's effort to carry a dream into the
young minds. By the caress that was in his fingers he expressed himself. He was
one of those men in whom the force that creates life is diffused, not
centralized. Under the caress of his hands doubt and disbelief went out of the
minds of the boys and they began also to dream.
And then the tragedy. A
half-witted boy of the school became enamored of the young master. In his bed
at night he imagined unspeakable things and in the morning went forth to tell
his dreams as facts. Strange, hideous accusations fell from his loose- hung
lips. Through the Pennsylvania town went a shiver. Hidden, shadowy doubts that
had been in men's minds concerning Adolph Myers were galvanized into beliefs.
The tragedy did not
linger. Trembling lads were jerked out of bed and questioned. "He put his
arms about me," said one. "His fingers were always playing in my
hair," said another.
One afternoon a man of
the town, Henry Bradford, who kept a saloon, came to the schoolhouse door.
Calling Adolph Myers into the school yard he began to beat him with his fists.
As his hard knuckles beat down into the frightened face of the school- master,
his wrath became more and more terrible. Screaming with dismay, the children
ran here and there like disturbed insects. "I'll teach you to put your
hands on my boy, you beast," roared the saloon keeper, who, tired of
beating the master, had begun to kick him about the yard.
Adolph Myers was driven
from the Pennsylvania town in the night. With lanterns in their hands a dozen
men came to the door of the house where he lived alone and commanded that he
dress and come forth. It was raining and one of the men had a rope in his
hands. They had intended to hang the school- master, but something in his
figure, so small, white, and pitiful, touched their hearts and they let him
escape. As he ran away into the darkness they repented of their weakness and
ran after him, swearing and throwing sticks and great balls of soft mud at the
figure that screamed and ran faster and faster into the darkness.
For twenty years Adolph
Myers had lived alone in Winesburg. He was but forty but looked sixty- five.
The name of Biddlebaum he got from a box of goods seen at a freight station as
he hurried through an eastern Ohio town. He had an aunt in Winesburg, a
black-toothed old woman who raised chickens, and with her he lived until she
died. He had been ill for a year after the experience in Pennsylvania, and
after his recovery worked as a day laborer in the fields, going timidly about
and striving to conceal his hands. Although he did not understand what had
happened he felt that the hands must be to blame. Again and again the fathers
of the boys had talked of the hands. "Keep your hands to yourself,"
the saloon keeper had roared, dancing, with fury in the schoolhouse yard.
Upon the veranda of his
house by the ravine, Wing Biddlebaum continued to walk up and down until the
sun had disappeared and the road beyond the field was lost in the grey shadows.
Going into his house he cut slices of bread and spread honey upon them. When
the rumble of the evening train that took away the express cars loaded with the
day's harvest of berries had passed and restored the silence of the summer
night, he went again to walk upon the veranda. In the darkness he could not see
the hands and they became quiet. Although he still hungered for the presence of
the boy, who was the medium through which he expressed his love of man, the
hunger became again a part of his loneliness and his waiting. Lighting a lamp,
Wing Biddlebaum washed the few dishes soiled by his simple meal and, setting up
a folding cot by the screen door that led to the porch, prepared to undress for
the night. A few stray white bread crumbs lay on the cleanly washed floor by
the table; putting the lamp upon a low stool he began to pick up the crumbs,
carrying them to his mouth one by one with unbelievable rapidity. In the dense
blotch of light beneath the table, the kneeling figure looked like a priest
engaged in some service of his church. The nervous expressive fingers, flashing
in and out of the light, might well have been mistaken for the fingers of the
devotee going swiftly through decade after decade of his rosary.
HE was an old man with
a white beard and huge nose and hands. Long before the time during which we
will know him, he was a doctor and drove a jaded white horse from house to
house through the streets of Winesburg. Later he married a girl who had money.
She had been left a large fertile farm when her father died. The girl was
quiet, tall, and dark, and to many people she seemed very beautiful. Everyone
in Winesburg wondered why she married the doctor. Within a year after the
marriage she died.
The knuckles of the
doctor's hands were extraordinarily large. When the hands were closed they looked
like clusters of unpainted wooden balls as large as walnuts fastened together
by steel rods. He smoked a cob pipe and after his wife's death sat all day in
his empty office close by a window that was covered with cobwebs. He never
opened the window. Once on a hot day in August he tried but found it stuck fast
and after that he forgot all about it.
Winesburg had forgotten
the old man, but in Doctor Reefy there were the seeds of something very fine.
Alone in his musty office in the Heffner Block above the Paris Dry Goods
Company's store, he worked ceaselessly, building up something that he himself
destroyed. Little pyramids of truth he erected and after erecting knocked them
down again that he might have the truths to erect other pyramids.
Doctor Reefy was a tall
man who had worn one suit of clothes for ten years. It was frayed at the
sleeves and little holes had appeared at the knees and elbows. In the office he
wore also a linen duster with huge pockets into which he continually stuffed
scraps of paper. After some weeks the scraps of paper became little hard round
balls, and when the pockets were filled he dumped them out upon the floor. For
ten years he had but one friend, another old man named John Spaniard who owned
a tree nursery. Sometimes, in a playful mood, old Doctor Reefy took from his
pockets a handful of the paper balls and threw them at the nursery man.
"That is to confound you, you blathering old sentimentalist," he
cried, shaking with laughter.
The story of Doctor
Reefy and his courtship of the tall dark girl who became his wife and left her
money to him is a very curious story. It is delicious, like the twisted little
apples that grow in the orchards of Winesburg. In the fall one walks in the
orchards and the ground is hard with frost underfoot. The apples have been
taken from the trees by the pickers. They have been put in barrels and shipped
to the cities where they will be eaten in apartments that are filled with
books, magazines, furniture, and people. On the trees are only a few gnarled
apples that the pickers have rejected. They look like the knuckles of Doctor
Reefy's hands. One nibbles at them and they are delicious. Into a little round
place at the side of the apple has been gathered all of its sweetness. One runs
from tree to tree over the frosted ground picking the gnarled, twisted apples
and filling his pockets with them. Only the few know the sweetness of the
twisted apples.
The girl and Doctor
Reefy began their courtship on a summer afternoon. He was forty-five then and
already he had begun the practice of filling his pockets with the scraps of
paper that became hard balls and were thrown away. The habit had been formed as
he sat in his buggy behind the jaded white horse and went slowly along country
roads. On the papers were written thoughts, ends of thoughts, beginnings of
thoughts.
One by one the mind of
Doctor Reefy had made the thoughts. Out of many of them he formed a truth that
arose gigantic in his mind. The truth clouded the world. It became terrible and
then faded away and the little thoughts began again.
The tall dark girl came
to see Doctor Reefy because she was in the family way and had become
frightened. She was in that condition because of a series of circumstances also
curious.
The death of her father
and mother and the rich acres of land that had come down to her had set a train
of suitors on her heels. For two years she saw suitors almost every evening.
Except two they were all alike. They talked to her of passion and there was a
strained eager quality in their voices and in their eyes when they looked at
her. The two who were different were much unlike each other. One of them, a
slender young man with white hands, the son of a jeweler in Winesburg, talked
continually of virginity. When he was with her he was never off the subject.
The other, a black-haired boy with large ears, said nothing at all but always
managed to get her into the darkness, where he began to kiss her.
For a time the tall
dark girl thought she would marry the jeweler's son. For hours she sat in
silence listening as he talked to her and then she began to be afraid of
something. Beneath his talk of virginity she began to think there was a lust
greater than in all the others. At times it seemed to her that as he talked he
was holding her body in his hands. She imagined him turning it slowly about in
the white hands and staring at it. At night she dreamed that he had bitten into
her body and that his jaws were dripping. She had the dream three times, then
she became in the family way to the one who said nothing at all but who in the
moment of his passion actually did bite her shoulder so that for days the marks
of his teeth showed.
After the tall dark
girl came to know Doctor Reefy it seemed to her that she never wanted to leave
him again. She went into his office one morning and without her saying anything
he seemed to know what had happened to her.
In the office of the
doctor there was a woman, the wife of the man who kept the bookstore in
Winesburg. Like all old-fashioned country practitioners, Doctor Reefy pulled
teeth, and the woman who waited held a handkerchief to her teeth and groaned.
Her husband was with her and when the tooth was taken out they both screamed
and blood ran down on the woman's white dress. The tall dark girl did not pay
any attention. When the woman and the man had gone the doctor smiled. "I
will take you driving into the country with me," he said.
For several weeks the
tall dark girl and the doctor were together almost every day. The condition
that had brought her to him passed in an illness, but she was like one who has
discovered the sweetness of the twisted apples, she could not get her mind
fixed again upon the round perfect fruit that is eaten in the city apartments.
In the fall after the beginning of her acquaintanceship with him she married
Doctor Reefy and in the following spring she died. During the winter he read to
her all of the odds and ends of thoughts he had scribbled on the bits of paper.
After he had read them he laughed and stuffed them away in his pockets to
become round hard balls.
ELIZABETH WILLARD, the
mother of George Willard, was tall and gaunt and her face was marked with
smallpox scars. Although she was but forty-five, some obscure disease had taken
the fire out of her figure. Listlessly she went about the disorderly old hotel
looking at the faded wall-paper and the ragged carpets and, when she was able
to be about, doing the work of a chambermaid among beds soiled by the slumbers
of fat traveling men. Her husband, Tom Willard, a slender, graceful man with
square shoulders, a quick military step, and a black mustache trained to turn
sharply up at the ends, tried to put the wife out of his mind. The presence of
the tall ghostly figure, moving slowly through the halls, he took as a reproach
to himself. When he thought of her he grew angry and swore. The hotel was
unprofitable and forever on the edge of failure and he wished himself out of
it. He thought of the old house and the woman who lived there with him as
things defeated and done for. The hotel in which he had begun life so hopefully
was now a mere ghost of what a hotel should be. As he went spruce and
business-like through the streets of Winesburg, he sometimes stopped and turned
quickly about as though fearing that the spirit of the hotel and of the woman
would follow him even into the streets. "Damn such a life, damn it!"
he sputtered aimlessly.
Tom Willard had a
passion for village politics and for years had been the leading Democrat in a
strongly Republican community. Some day, he told himself, the fide of things
political will turn in my favor and the years of ineffectual service count big
in the bestowal of rewards. He dreamed of going to Congress and even of
becoming governor. Once when a younger member of the party arose at a political
conference and began to boast of his faithful service, Tom Willard grew white
with fury. "Shut up, you," he roared, glaring about. "What do
you know of service? What are you but a boy? Look at what I've done here! I was
a Democrat here in Winesburg when it was a crime to be a Democrat. In the old
days they fairly hunted us with guns."
Between Elizabeth and
her one son George there was a deep unexpressed bond of sympathy, based on a
girlhood dream that had long ago died. In the son's presence she was timid and
reserved, but sometimes while he hurried about town intent upon his duties as a
reporter, she went into his room and closing the door knelt by a little desk,
made of a kitchen table, that sat near a window. In the room by the desk she
went through a ceremony that was half a prayer, half a demand, addressed to the
skies. In the boyish figure she yearned to see something half forgotten that
had once been a part of herself recreated. The prayer concerned that. "Even
though I die, I will in some way keep defeat from you," she cried, and so
deep was her determination that her whole body shook. Her eyes glowed and she
clenched her fists. "If I am dead and see him becoming a meaningless drab
figure like myself, I will come back," she declared. "I ask God now
to give me that privilege. I demand it. I will pay for it. God may beat me with
his fists. I will take any blow that may befall if but this my boy be allowed
to express something for us both." Pausing uncertainly, the woman stared
about the boy's room. "And do not let him become smart and successful
either," she added vaguely.
The communion between
George Willard and his mother was outwardly a formal thing without meaning.
When she was ill and sat by the window in her room he sometimes went in the
evening to make her a visit. They sat by a window that looked over the roof of
a small frame building into Main Street. By turning their heads they could see
through another window, along an alleyway that ran behind the Main Street
stores and into the back door of Abner Groff's bakery. Sometimes as they sat
thus a picture of village life presented itself to them. At the back door of
his shop appeared Abner Groff with a stick or an empty milk bottle in his hand.
For a long time there was a feud between the baker and a grey cat that belonged
to Sylvester West, the druggist. The boy and his mother saw the cat creep into
the door of the bakery and presently emerge followed by the baker, who swore
and waved his arms about. The baker's eyes were small and red and his black
hair and beard were filled with flour dust. Sometimes he was so angry that,
although the cat had disappeared, he hurled sticks, bits of broken glass, and
even some of the tools of his trade about. Once he broke a window at the back
of Sinning's Hardware Store. In the alley the grey cat crouched behind barrels
filled with torn paper and broken bottles above which flew a black swarm of
flies. Once when she was alone, and after watching a prolonged and ineffectual outburst
on the part of the baker, Elizabeth Willard put her head down on her long white
hands and wept. After that she did not look along the alleyway any more, but
tried to forget the contest between the bearded man and the cat. It seemed like
a rehearsal of her own life, terrible in its vividness.
In the evening when the
son sat in the room with his mother, the silence made them both feel awkward.
Darkness came on and the evening train came in at the station. In the street
below feet tramped up and down upon a board sidewalk. In the station yard,
after the evening train had gone, there was a heavy silence. Perhaps Skinner
Leason, the express agent, moved a truck the length of the station platform.
Over on Main Street sounded a man's voice, laughing. The door of the express
office banged. George Willard arose and crossing the room fumbled for the
doorknob. Sometimes he knocked against a chair, making it scrape along the
floor. By the window sat the sick woman, perfectly still, listless. Her long
hands, white and bloodless, could be seen drooping over the ends of the arms of
the chair. "I think you had better be out among the boys. You are too much
indoors," she said, striving to relieve the embarrassment of the
departure. "I thought I would take a walk," replied George Willard,
who felt awkward and confused.
One evening in July,
when the transient guests who made the New Willard House their temporary home
had become scarce, and the hallways, lighted only by kerosene lamps turned low,
were plunged in gloom, Elizabeth Willard had an adventure. She had been ill in
bed for several days and her son had not come to visit her. She was alarmed.
The feeble blaze of life that remained in her body was blown into a flame by
her anxiety and she crept out of bed, dressed and hurried along the hallway
toward her son's room, shaking with exaggerated fears. As she went along she
steadied herself with her hand, slipped along the papered walls of the hall and
breathed with difficulty. The air whistled through her teeth. As she hurried
forward she thought how foolish she was. "He is concerned with boyish
affairs," she told herself. "Perhaps he has now begun to walk about
in the evening with girls."
Elizabeth Willard had a
dread of being seen by guests in the hotel that had once belonged to her father
and the ownership of which still stood recorded in her name in the county
courthouse. The hotel was continually losing patronage because of its
shabbiness and she thought of herself as also shabby. Her own room was in an
obscure corner and when she felt able to work she voluntarily worked among the
beds, preferring the labor that could be done when the guests were abroad
seeking trade among the merchants of Winesburg.
By the door of her
son's room the mother knelt upon the floor and listened for some sound from
within. When she heard the boy moving about and talking in low tones a smile
came to her lips. George Willard had a habit of talking aloud to himself and to
hear him doing so had always given his mother a peculiar pleasure. The habit in
him, she felt, strengthened the secret bond that existed between them. A
thousand times she had whispered to herself of the matter. "He is groping
about, trying to find himself," she thought. "He is not a dull clod,
all words and smartness. Within him there is a secret something that is
striving to grow. It is the thing I let be killed in myself."
In the darkness in the
hallway by the door the sick woman arose and started again toward her own room.
She was afraid that the door would open and the boy come upon her. When she had
reached a safe distance and was about to turn a corner into a second hallway
she stopped and bracing herself with her hands waited, thinking to shake off a
trembling fit of weakness that had come upon her. The presence of the boy in
the room had made her happy. In her bed, during the long hours alone, the
little fears that had visited her had become giants. Now they were all gone.
"When I get back to my room I shall sleep," she murmured gratefully.
But Elizabeth Willard
was not to return to her bed and to sleep. As she stood trembling in the
darkness the door of her son's room opened and the boy's father, Tom Willard,
stepped out. In the light that steamed out at the door he stood with the knob
in his hand and talked. What he said infuriated the woman.
Tom Willard was
ambitious for his son. He had always thought of himself as a successful man,
although nothing he had ever done had turned out successfully. However, when he
was out of sight of the New Willard House and had no fear of coming upon his
wife, he swaggered and began to dramatize himself as one of the chief men of
the town. He wanted his son to succeed. He it was who had secured for the boy
the position on the Winesburg Eagle. Now, with a ring of earnestness in his
voice, he was advising concerning some course of conduct. "I tell you
what, George, you've got to wake up," he said sharply. "Will
Henderson has spoken to me three times concerning the matter. He says you go
along for hours not hearing when you are spoken to and acting like a gawky
girl. What ails you?" Tom Willard laughed good-naturedly. "Well, I
guess you'll get over it," he said. "I told Will that. You're not a
fool and you're not a woman. You're Tom Willard's son and you'll wake up. I'm
not afraid. What you say clears things up. If being a newspaper man had put the
notion of becoming a writer into your mind that's all right. Only I guess
you'll have to wake up to do that too, eh?"
Tom Willard went
briskly along the hallway and down a flight of stairs to the office. The woman
in the darkness could hear him laughing and talking with a guest who was
striving to wear away a dull evening by dozing in a chair by the office door.
She returned to the door of her son's room. The weakness had passed from her
body as by a miracle and she stepped boldly along. A thousand ideas raced
through her head. When she heard the scraping of a chair and the sound of a pen
scratching upon paper, she again turned and went back along the hallway to her
own room.
A definite
determination had come into the mind of the defeated wife of the Winesburg
hotel keeper. The determination was the result of long years of quiet and
rather ineffectual thinking. "Now," she told herself, "I will
act. There is something threatening my boy and I will ward it off." The
fact that the conversation between Tom Willard and his son had been rather
quiet and natural, as though an understanding existed between them, maddened
her. Although for years she had hated her husband, her hatred had always before
been a quite impersonal thing. He had been merely a part of something else that
she hated. Now, and by the few words at the door, he had become the thing
personified. In the darkness of her own room she clenched her fists and glared
about. Going to a cloth bag that hung on a nail by the wall she took out a long
pair of sewing scissors and held them in her hand like a dagger. "I will
stab him," she said aloud. "He has chosen to be the voice of evil and
I will kill him. When I have killed him something will snap within myself and I
will die also. It will be a release for all of us."
In her girlhood and
before her marriage with Tom Willard, Elizabeth had borne a somewhat shaky
reputation in Winesburg. For years she had been what is called
"stage-struck" and had paraded through the streets with traveling men
guests at her father's hotel, wearing loud clothes and urging them to tell her
of life in the cities out of which they had come. Once she startled the town by
putting on men's clothes and riding a bicycle down Main Street.
In her own mind the
tall dark girl had been in those days much confused. A great restlessness was
in her and it expressed itself in two ways. First there was an uneasy desire
for change, for some big definite movement to her life. It was this feeling
that had turned her mind to the stage. She dreamed of joining some company and
wandering over the world, seeing always new faces and giving something out of
herself to all people. Sometimes at night she was quite beside herself with the
thought, but when she tried to talk of the matter to the members of the
theatrical companies that came to Winesburg and stopped at her father's hotel,
she got nowhere. They did not seem to know what she meant, or if she did get
something of her passion expressed, they only laughed. "It's not like
that," they said. "It's as dull and uninteresting as this here.
Nothing comes of it."
With the traveling men
when she walked about with them, and later with Tom Willard, it was quite
different. Always they seemed to understand and sympathize with her. On the
side streets of the village, in the darkness under the trees, they took hold of
her hand and she thought that something unexpressed in herself came forth and
became a part of an unexpressed something in them.
And then there was the
second expression of her restlessness. When that came she felt for a time
released and happy. She did not blame the men who walked with her and later she
did not blame Tom Willard. It was always the same, beginning with kisses and ending,
after strange wild emotions, with peace and then sobbing repentance. When she
sobbed she put her hand upon the face of the man and had always the same
thought. Even though he were large and bearded she thought he had become
suddenly a little boy. She wondered why he did not sob also.
In her room, tucked
away in a corner of the old Willard House, Elizabeth Willard lighted a lamp and
put it on a dressing table that stood by the door. A thought had come into her
mind and she went to a closet and brought out a small square box and set it on
the table. The box contained material for makeup and had been left with other
things by a theatrical company that had once been stranded in Winesburg.
Elizabeth Willard had decided that she would be beautiful. Her hair was still
black and there was a great mass of it braided and coiled about her head. The
scene that was to take place in the office below began to grow in her mind. No
ghostly worn-out figure should confront Tom Willard, but something quite
unexpected and startling. Tall and with dusky cheeks and hair that fell in a
mass from her shoulders, a figure should come striding down the stairway before
the startled loungers in the hotel office. The figure would be silent--it would
be swift and terrible. As a tigress whose cub had been threatened would she
appear, coming out of the shadows, stealing noiselessly along and holding the
long wicked scissors in her hand.
With a little broken
sob in her throat, Elizabeth Willard blew out the light that stood upon the table
and stood weak and trembling in the darkness. The strength that had been as a
miracle in her body left and she half reeled across the floor, clutching at the
back of the chair in which she had spent so many long days staring out over the
tin roofs into the main street of Winesburg. In the hallway there was the sound
of footsteps and George Willard came in at the door. Sitting in a chair beside
his mother he began to talk. "I'm going to get out of here," he said.
"I don't know where I shall go or what I shall do but I am going
away."
The woman in the chair
waited and trembled. An impulse came to her. "I suppose you had better
wake up," she said. "You think that? You will go to the city and make
money, eh? It will be better for you, you think, to be a business man, to be
brisk and smart and alive?" She waited and trembled.
The son shook his head.
"I suppose I can't make you understand, but oh, I wish I could," he
said earnestly. "I can't even talk to father about it. I don't try. There
isn't any use. I don't know what I shall do. I just want to go away and look at
people and think."
Silence fell upon the
room where the boy and woman sat together. Again, as on the other evenings,
they were embarrassed. After a time the boy tried again to talk. "I
suppose it won't be for a year or two but I've been thinking about it," he
said, rising and going toward the door. "Something father said makes it
sure that I shall have to go away." He fumbled with the doorknob. In the
room the silence became unbearable to the woman. She wanted to cry out with joy
because of the words that had come from the lips of her son, but the expression
of joy had become impossible to her. "I think you had better go out among
the boys. You are too much indoors," she said. "I thought I would go
for a little walk," replied the son stepping awkwardly out of the room and
closing the door.
DOCTOR PARCIVAL was a
large man with a drooping mouth covered by a yellow mustache. He always wore a
dirty white waistcoat out of the pockets of which protruded a number of the
kind of black cigars known as stogies. His teeth were black and irregular and
there was something strange about his eyes. The lid of the left eye twitched;
it fell down and snapped up; it was exactly as though the lid of the eye were a
window shade and someone stood inside the doctor's head playing with the cord.
Doctor Parcival had a
liking for the boy, George Willard. It began when George had been working for a
year on the Winesburg Eagle and the acquaintanceship was entirely a matter of
the doctor's own making.
In the late afternoon Will
Henderson, owner and editor of the Eagle, went over to Tom Willy's saloon.
Along an alleyway he went and slipping in at the back door of the saloon began
drinking a drink made of a combination of sloe gin and soda water. Will
Henderson was a sensualist and had reached the age of forty-five. He imagined
the gin renewed the youth in him. Like most sensualists he enjoyed talking of
women, and for an hour he lingered about gossiping with Tom Willy. The saloon
keeper was a short, broad-shouldered man with peculiarly marked hands. That
flaming kind of birthmark that sometimes paints with red the faces of men and
women had touched with red Tom Willy's fingers and the backs of his hands. As
he stood by the bar talking to Will Henderson he rubbed the hands together. As
he grew more and more excited the red of his fingers deepened. It was as though
the hands had been dipped in blood that had dried and faded.
As Will Henderson stood
at the bar looking at the red hands and talking of women, his assistant, George
Willard, sat in the office of the Winesburg Eagle and listened to the talk of
Doctor Parcival.
Doctor Parcival
appeared immediately after Will Henderson had disappeared. One might have
supposed that the doctor had been watching from his office window and had seen
the editor going along the alleyway. Coming in at the front door and finding
himself a chair, he lighted one of the stogies and crossing his legs began to
talk. He seemed intent upon convincing the boy of the advisability of adopting
a line of conduct that he was himself unable to define.
"If you have your
eyes open you will see that although I call myself a doctor I have mighty few
patients," he began. "There is a reason for that. It is not an
accident and it is not because I do not know as much of medicine as anyone
here. I do not want patients. The reason, you see, does not appear on the
surface. It lies in fact in my character, which has, if you think about it,
many strange turns. Why I want to talk to you of the matter I don't know. I
might keep still and get more credit in your eyes. I have a desire to make you
admire me, that's a fact. I don't know why. That's why I talk. It's very
amusing, eh?"
Sometimes the doctor
launched into long tales concerning himself. To the boy the tales were very
real and full of meaning. He began to admire the fat unclean-looking man and,
in the afternoon when Will Henderson had gone, looked forward with keen
interest to the doctor's coming.
Doctor Parcival had
been in Winesburg about five years. He came from Chicago and when he arrived
was drunk and got into a fight with Albert Longworth, the baggageman. The fight
concerned a trunk and ended by the doctor's being escorted to the village
lockup. When he was released he rented a room above a shoe-repairing shop at
the lower end of Main Street and put out the sign that announced himself as a
doctor. Although he had but few patients and these of the poorer sort who were
unable to pay, he seemed to have plenty of money for his needs. He slept in the
office that was unspeakably dirty and dined at Biff Carter's lunch room in a
small frame building opposite the railroad station. In the summer the lunch
room was filled with flies and Biff Carter's white apron was more dirty than
his floor. Doctor Parcival did not mind. Into the lunch room he stalked and
deposited twenty cents upon the counter. "Feed me what you wish for
that," he said laughing. "Use up food that you wouldn't otherwise
sell. It makes no difference to me. I am a man of distinction, you see. Why
should I concern myself with what I eat."
The tales that Doctor
Parcival told George Willard began nowhere and ended nowhere. Sometimes the boy
thought they must all be inventions, a pack of lies. And then again he was
convinced that they contained the very essence of truth.
"I was a reporter
like you here," Doctor Parcival began. "It was in a town in Iowa--or
was it in Illinois? I don't remember and anyway it makes no difference. Perhaps
I am trying to conceal my identity and don't want to be very definite. Have you
ever thought it strange that I have money for my needs although I do nothing? I
may have stolen a great sum of money or been involved in a murder before I came
here. There is food for thought in that, eh? If you were a really smart
newspaper reporter you would look me up. In Chicago there was a Doctor Cronin
who was murdered. Have you heard of that? Some men murdered him and put him in
a trunk. In the early morning they hauled the trunk across the city. It sat on
the back of an express wagon and they were on the seat as unconcerned as
anything. Along they went through quiet streets where everyone was asleep. The
sun was just coming up over the lake. Funny, eh--just to think of them smoking
pipes and chattering as they drove along as unconcerned as I am now. Perhaps I
was one of those men. That would be a strange turn of things, now wouldn't it,
eh?" Again Doctor Parcival began his tale: "Well, anyway there I was,
a reporter on a paper just as you are here, running about and getting little
items to print. My mother was poor. She took in washing. Her dream was to make
me a Presbyterian minister and I was studying with that end in view.
"My father had
been insane for a number of years. He was in an asylum over at Dayton, Ohio.
There you see I have let it slip out! All of this took place in Ohio, right
here in Ohio. There is a clew if you ever get the notion of looking me up.
"I was going to
tell you of my brother. That's the object of all this. That's what I'm getting
at. My brother was a railroad painter and had a job on the Big Four. You know
that road runs through Ohio here. With other men he lived in a box car and away
they went from town to town painting the railroad property-switches, crossing
gates, bridges, and stations.
"The Big Four
paints its stations a nasty orange color. How I hated that color! My brother
was always covered with it. On pay days he used to get drunk and come home
wearing his paint-covered clothes and bringing his money with him. He did not
give it to mother but laid it in a pile on our kitchen table.
"About the house
he went in the clothes covered with the nasty orange colored paint. I can see
the picture. My mother, who was small and had red, sad-looking eyes, would come
into the house from a little shed at the back. That's where she spent her time
over the washtub scrubbing people's dirty clothes. In she would come and stand
by the table, rubbing her eyes with her apron that was covered with soap-suds.
"'Don't touch it!
Don't you dare touch that money,' my brother roared, and then he himself took
five or ten dollars and went tramping off to the saloons. When he had spent
what he had taken he came back for more. He never gave my mother any money at
all but stayed about until he had spent it all, a little at a time. Then he went
back to his job with the painting crew on the railroad. After he had gone
things began to arrive at our house, groceries and such things. Sometimes there
would be a dress for mother or a pair of shoes for me.
"Strange, eh? My
mother loved my brother much more than she did me, although he never said a
kind word to either of us and always raved up and down threatening us if we
dared so much as touch the money that sometimes lay on the table three days.
"We got along
pretty well. I studied to be a minister and prayed. I was a regular ass about
saying prayers. You should have heard me. When my father died I prayed all
night, just as I did sometimes when my brother was in town drinking and going
about buying the things for us. In the evening after supper I knelt by the
table where the money lay and prayed for hours. When no one was looking I stole
a dollar or two and put it in my pocket. That makes me laugh now but then it
was terrible. It was on my mind all the time. I got six dollars a week from my
job on the paper and always took it straight home to mother. The few dollars I
stole from my brother's pile I spent on myself, you know, for trifles, candy
and cigarettes and such things.
"When my father
died at the asylum over at Dayton, I went over there. I borrowed some money
from the man for whom I worked and went on the train at night. It was raining.
In the asylum they treated me as though I were a king.
"The men who had
jobs in the asylum had found out I was a newspaper reporter. That made them
afraid. There had been some negligence, some carelessness, you see, when father
was ill. They thought perhaps I would write it up in the paper and make a fuss.
I never intended to do anything of the kind.
"Anyway, in I went
to the room where my father lay dead and blessed the dead body. I wonder what
put that notion into my head. Wouldn't my brother, the painter, have laughed,
though. There I stood over the dead body and spread out my hands. The
superintendent of the asylum and some of his helpers came in and stood about
looking sheepish. It was very amusing. I spread out my hands and said, 'Let
peace brood over this carcass.' That's what I said. "
Jumping to his feet and
breaking off the tale, Doctor Parcival began to walk up and down in the office
of the Winesburg Eagle where George Willard sat listening. He was awkward and,
as the office was small, continually knocked against things. "What a fool
I am to be talking," he said. "That is not my object in coming here
and forcing my acquaintanceship upon you. I have something else in mind. You
are a reporter just as I was once and you have attracted my attention. You may
end by becoming just such another fool. I want to warn you and keep on warning
you. That's why I seek you out."
Doctor Parcival began
talking of George Willard's attitude toward men. It seemed to the boy that the
man had but one object in view, to make everyone seem despicable. "I want
to fill you with hatred and contempt so that you will be a superior
being," he declared. "Look at my brother. There was a fellow, eh? He
despised everyone, you see. You have no idea with what contempt he looked upon
mother and me. And was he not our superior? You know he was. You have not seen
him and yet I have made you feel that. I have given you a sense of it. He is
dead. Once when he was drunk he lay down on the tracks and the car in which he
lived with the other painters ran over him."
One day in August
Doctor Parcival had an adventure in Winesburg. For a month George Willard had
been going each morning to spend an hour in the doctor's office. The visits
came about through a desire on the part of the doctor to read to the boy from
the pages of a book he was in the process of writing. To write the book Doctor
Parcival declared was the object of his coming to Winesburg to live.
On the morning in
August before the coming of the boy, an incident had happened in the doctor's
office. There had been an accident on Main Street. A team of horses had been
frightened by a train and had run away. A little girl, the daughter of a
farmer, had been thrown from a buggy and killed.
On Main Street everyone
had become excited and a cry for doctors had gone up. All three of the active
practitioners of the town had come quickly but had found the child dead. From
the crowd someone had run to the office of Doctor Parcival who had bluntly
refused to go down out of his office to the dead child. The useless cruelty of
his refusal had passed unnoticed. Indeed, the man who had come up the stairway
to summon him had hurried away without hearing the refusal.
All of this, Doctor
Parcival did not know and when George Willard came to his office he found the
man shaking with terror. "What I have done will arouse the people of this
town," he declared excitedly. "Do I not know human nature? Do I not
know what will happen? Word of my refusal will be whispered about. Presently
men will get together in groups and talk of it. They will come here. We will
quarrel and there will be talk of hanging. Then they will come again bearing a
rope in their hands."
Doctor Parcival shook
with fright. "I have a presentiment," he declared emphatically.
"It may be that what I am talking about will not occur this morning. It
may be put off until tonight but I will be hanged. Everyone will get excited. I
will be hanged to a lamp-post on Main Street."
Going to the door of
his dirty office, Doctor Parcival looked timidly down the stairway leading to
the street. When he returned the fright that had been in his eyes was beginning
to be replaced by doubt. Coming on tiptoe across the room he tapped George
Willard on the shoulder. "If not now, sometime," he whispered,
shaking his head. "In the end I will be crucified, uselessly crucified."
Doctor Parcival began
to plead with George Willard. "You must pay attention to me," he
urged. "If something happens perhaps you will be able to write the book
that I may never get written. The idea is very simple, so simple that if you
are not careful you will forget it. It is this--that everyone in the world is
Christ and they are all crucified. That's what I want to say. Don't you forget
that. Whatever happens, don't you dare let yourself forget."
LOOKING cautiously
about, George Willard arose from his desk in the office of the Winesburg Eagle
and went hurriedly out at the back door. The night was warm and cloudy and
although it was not yet eight o'clock, the alleyway back of the Eagle office
was pitch dark. A team of horses tied to a post somewhere in the darkness
stamped on the hard- baked ground. A cat sprang from under George Willard's
feet and ran away into the night. The young man was nervous. All day he had
gone about his work like one dazed by a blow. In the alleyway he trembled as
though with fright.
In the darkness George
Willard walked along the alleyway, going carefully and cautiously. The back
doors of the Winesburg stores were open and he could see men sitting about
under the store lamps. In Myerbaum's Notion Store Mrs. Willy the saloon
keeper's wife stood by the counter with a basket on her arm. Sid Green the
clerk was waiting on her. He leaned over the counter and talked earnestly.
George Willard crouched
and then jumped through the path of light that came out at the door. He began
to run forward in the darkness. Behind Ed Griffith's saloon old Jerry Bird the
town drunkard lay asleep on the ground. The runner stumbled over the sprawling
legs. He laughed brokenly.
George Willard had set
forth upon an adventure. All day he had been trying to make up his mind to go
through with the adventure and now he was acting. In the office of the
Winesburg Eagle he had been sitting since six o'clock trying to think.
There had been no
decision. He had just jumped to his feet, hurried past Will Henderson who was
reading proof in the printshop and started to run along the alleyway.
Through street after
street went George Willard, avoiding the people who passed. He crossed and
recrossed the road. When he passed a street lamp he pulled his hat down over
his face. He did not dare think. In his mind there was a fear but it was a new
kind of fear. He was afraid the adventure on which he had set out would be
spoiled, that he would lose courage and turn back.
George Willard found
Louise Trunnion in the kitchen of her father's house. She was washing dishes by
the light of a kerosene lamp. There she stood behind the screen door in the
little shedlike kitchen at the back of the house. George Willard stopped by a
picket fence and tried to control the shaking of his body. Only a narrow potato
patch separated him from the adventure. Five minutes passed before he felt sure
enough of himself to call to her. "Louise! Oh, Louise!" he called.
The cry stuck in his throat. His voice became a hoarse whisper.
Louise Trunnion came
out across the potato patch holding the dish cloth in her hand. "How do
you know I want to go out with you," she said sulkily. "What makes
you so sure?"
George Willard did not
answer. In silence the two stood in the darkness with the fence between them.
"You go on along," she said. "Pa's in there. I'll come along.
You wait by Williams' barn."
The young newspaper
reporter had received a letter from Louise Trunnion. It had come that morning
to the office of the Winesburg Eagle. The letter was brief. "I'm yours if
you want me," it said. He thought it annoying that in the darkness by the
fence she had pretended there was nothing between them. "She has a nerve!
Well, gracious sakes, she has a nerve," he muttered as he went along the
street and passed a row of vacant lots where corn grew. The corn was shoulder
high and had been planted right down to the sidewalk.
When Louise Trunnion
came out of the front door of her house she still wore the gingham dress in
which she had been washing dishes. There was no hat on her head. The boy could
see her standing with the doorknob in her hand talking to someone within, no
doubt to old Jake Trunnion, her father. Old Jake was half deaf and she shouted.
The door closed and everything was dark and silent in the little side street.
George Willard trembled more violently than ever.
In the shadows by
Williams' barn George and Louise stood, not daring to talk. She was not
particularly comely and there was a black smudge on the side of her nose.
George thought she must have rubbed her nose with her finger after she had been
handling some of the kitchen pots.
The young man began to
laugh nervously. "It's warm," he said. He wanted to touch her with
his hand. "I'm not very bold," he thought. Just to touch the folds of
the soiled gingham dress would, he decided, be an exquisite pleasure. She began
to quibble. "You think you're better than I am. Don't tell me, I guess I
know," she said drawing closer to him.
A flood of words burst
from George Willard. He remembered the look that had lurked in the girl's eyes
when they had met on the streets and thought of the note she had written. Doubt
left him. The whispered tales concerning her that had gone about town gave him
confidence. He became wholly the male, bold and aggressive. In his heart there
was no sympathy for her. "Ah, come on, it'll be all right. There won't be
anyone know anything. How can they know?" he urged.
They began to walk
along a narrow brick sidewalk between the cracks of which tall weeds grew. Some
of the bricks were missing and the sidewalk was rough and irregular. He took
hold of her hand that was also rough and thought it delightfully small. "I
can't go far," she said and her voice was quiet, unperturbed.
They crossed a bridge
that ran over a tiny stream and passed another vacant lot in which corn grew.
The street ended. In the path at the side of the road they were compelled to
walk one behind the other. Will Overton's berry field lay beside the road and
there was a pile of boards. "Will is going to build a shed to store berry
crates here," said George and they sat down upon the boards.
When George Willard got
back into Main Street it was past ten o'clock and had begun to rain. Three
times he walked up and down the length of Main Street. Sylvester West's Drug
Store was still open and he went in and bought a cigar. When Shorty Crandall
the clerk came out at the door with him he was pleased. For five minutes the
two stood in the shelter of the store awning and talked. George Willard felt satisfied.
He had wanted more than anything else to talk to some man. Around a corner
toward the New Willard House he went whistling softly.
On the sidewalk at the
side of Winney's Dry Goods Store where there was a high board fence covered
with circus pictures, he stopped whistling and stood perfectly still in the
darkness, attentive, listening as though for a voice calling his name. Then
again he laughed nervously. "She hasn't got anything on me. Nobody
knows," he muttered doggedly and went on his way.
THERE were always three
or four old people sitting on the front porch of the house or puttering about
the garden of the Bentley farm. Three of the old people were women and sisters
to Jesse. They were a colorless, soft voiced lot. Then there was a silent old
man with thin white hair who was Jesse's uncle.
The farmhouse was built
of wood, a board outercovering over a framework of logs. It was in reality not
one house but a cluster of houses joined together in a rather haphazard manner.
Inside, the place was full of surprises. One went up steps from the living room
into the dining room and there were always steps to be ascended or descended in
passing from one room to another. At meal times the place was like a beehive.
At one moment all was quiet, then doors began to open, feet clattered on
stairs, a murmur of soft voices arose and people appeared from a dozen obscure
corners.
Beside the old people,
already mentioned, many others lived in the Bentley house. There were four
hired men, a woman named Aunt Callie Beebe, who was in charge of the
housekeeping, a dull-witted girl named Eliza Stoughton, who made beds and
helped with the milking, a boy who worked in the stables, and Jesse Bentley
himself, the owner and overlord of it all.
By the time the
American Civil War had been over for twenty years, that part of Northern Ohio
where the Bentley farms lay had begun to emerge from pioneer life. Jesse then
owned machinery for harvesting grain. He had built modern barns and most of his
land was drained with carefully laid tile drain, but in order to understand the
man we will have to go back to an earlier day.
The Bentley family had
been in Northern Ohio for several generations before Jesse's time. They came from
New York State and took up land when the country was new and land could be had
at a low price. For a long time they, in common with all the other Middle
Western people, were very poor. The land they had settled upon was heavily
wooded and covered with fallen logs and underbrush. After the long hard labor
of clearing these away and cutting the timber, there were still the stumps to
be reckoned with. Plows run through the fields caught on hidden roots, stones
lay all about, on the low places water gathered, and the young corn turned
yellow, sickened and died.
When Jesse Bentley's
father and brothers had come into their ownership of the place, much of the
harder part of the work of clearing had been done, but they clung to old
traditions and worked like driven animals. They lived as practically all of the
farming people of the time lived. In the spring and through most of the winter
the highways leading into the town of Winesburg were a sea of mud. The four
young men of the family worked hard all day in the fields, they ate heavily of
coarse, greasy food, and at night slept like tired beasts on beds of straw.
Into their lives came little that was not coarse and brutal and outwardly they
were themselves coarse and brutal. On Saturday afternoons they hitched a team
of horses to a three-seated wagon and went off to town. In town they stood
about the stoves in the stores talking to other farmers or to the store
keepers. They were dressed in overalls and in the winter wore heavy coats that
were flecked with mud. Their hands as they stretched them out to the heat of
the stoves were cracked and red. It was difficult for them to talk and so they
for the most part kept silent. When they had bought meat, flour, sugar, and
salt, they went into one of the Winesburg saloons and drank beer. Under the
influence of drink the naturally strong lusts of their natures, kept suppressed
by the heroic labor of breaking up new ground, were released. A kind of crude
and animal- like poetic fervor took possession of them. On the road home they
stood up on the wagon seats and shouted at the stars. Sometimes they fought
long and bitterly and at other times they broke forth into songs. Once Enoch
Bentley, the older one of the boys, struck his father, old Tom Bentley, with
the butt of a teamster's whip, and the old man seemed likely to die. For days
Enoch lay hid in the straw in the loft of the stable ready to flee if the
result of his momentary passion turned out to be murder. He was kept alive with
food brought by his mother, who also kept him informed of the injured man's
condition. When all turned out well he emerged from his hiding place and went
back to the work of clearing land as though nothing had happened.
The Civil War brought a
sharp turn to the fortunes of the Bentleys and was responsible for the rise of
the youngest son, Jesse. Enoch, Edward, Harry, and Will Bentley all enlisted
and before the long war ended they were all killed. For a time after they went
away to the South, old Tom tried to run the place, but he was not successful.
When the last of the four had been killed he sent word to Jesse that he would
have to come home.
Then the mother, who
had not been well for a year, died suddenly, and the father became altogether
discouraged. He talked of selling the farm and moving into town. All day he
went about shaking his head and muttering. The work in the fields was neglected
and weeds grew high in the corn. Old Tim hired men but he did not use them
intelligently. When they had gone away to the fields in the morning he wandered
into the woods and sat down on a log. Sometimes he forgot to come home at night
and one of the daughters had to go in search of him.
When Jesse Bentley came
home to the farm and began to take charge of things he was a slight,
sensitive-looking man of twenty-two. At eighteen he had left home to go to
school to become a scholar and eventually to become a minister of the
Presbyterian Church. All through his boyhood he had been what in our country
was called an "odd sheep" and had not got on with his brothers. Of
all the family only his mother had understood him and she was now dead. When he
came home to take charge of the farm, that had at that time grown to more than
six hundred acres, everyone on the farms about and in the nearby town of
Winesburg smiled at the idea of his trying to handle the work that had been
done by his four strong brothers.
There was indeed good
cause to smile. By the standards of his day Jesse did not look like a man at
all. He was small and very slender and womanish of body and, true to the
traditions of young ministers, wore a long black coat and a narrow black string
tie. The neighbors were amused when they saw him, after the years away, and
they were even more amused when they saw the woman he had married in the city.
As a matter of fact,
Jesse's wife did soon go under. That was perhaps Jesse's fault. A farm in
Northern Ohio in the hard years after the Civil War was no place for a delicate
woman, and Katherine Bentley was delicate. Jesse was hard with her as he was
with everybody about him in those days. She tried to do such work as all the
neighbor women about her did and he let her go on without interference. She
helped to do the milking and did part of the house-work; she made the beds for
the men and prepared their food. For a year she worked every day from sunrise
until late at night and then after giving birth to a child she died.
As for Jesse
Bentley--although he was a delicately built man there was something within him
that could not easily be killed. He had brown curly hair and grey eyes that
were at times hard and direct, at times wavering and uncertain. Not only was he
slender but he was also short of stature. His mouth was like the mouth of a
sensitive and very determined child. Jesse Bentley was a fanatic. He was a man
born out of his time and place and for this he suffered and made others suffer.
Never did he succeed in getting what he wanted out of fife and he did not know
what he wanted. Within a very short time after he came home to the Bentley farm
he made everyone there a little afraid of him, and his wife, who should have
been close to him as his mother had been, was afraid also. At the end of two
weeks after his coming, old Tom Bentley made over to him the entire ownership
of the place and retired into the background. Everyone retired into the
background. In spite of his youth and inexperience, Jesse had the trick of
mastering the souls of his people. He was so in earnest in everything he did
and said that no one understood him. He made everyone on the farm work as they
had never worked before and yet there was no joy in the work. If things went
well they went well for Jesse and never for the people who were his dependents.
Like a thousand other strong men who have come into the world here in America
in these later times, Jesse was but half strong. He could master others but he
could not master himself. The running of the farm as it had never been run
before was easy for him. When he came home from Cleveland where he had been in
school, he shut himself off from all of his people and began to make plans. He
thought about the farm night and day and that made him successful. Other men on
the farms about him worked too hard and were too fired to think, but to think
of the farm and to be everlastingly making plans for its success was a relief
to Jesse. It partially satisfied something in his passionate nature.
Immediately after he came home he had a wing built on to the old house and in a
large room facing the west he had windows that looked into the barnyard and other
windows that looked off across the fields. By the window he sat down to think.
Hour after hour and day after day he sat and looked over the land and thought
out his new place in life. The passionate burning thing in his nature flamed up
and his eyes became hard. He wanted to make the farm produce as no farm in his
state had ever produced before and then he wanted something else. It was the
indefinable hunger within that made his eyes waver and that kept him always
more and more silent before people. He would have given much to achieve peace
and in him was a fear that peace was the thing he could not achieve.
All over his body Jesse
Bentley was alive. In his small frame was gathered the force of a long line of
strong men. He had always been extraordinarily alive when he was a small boy on
the farm and later when he was a young man in school. In the school he had
studied and thought of God and the Bible with his whole mind and heart. As time
passed and he grew to know people better, he began to think of himself as an
extraordinary man, one set apart from his fellows. He wanted terribly to make
his life a thing of great importance, and as he looked about at his fellow men
and saw how like clods they lived it seemed to him that he could not bear to
become also such a clod. Although in his absorption in himself and in his own
destiny he was blind to the fact that his young wife was doing a strong woman's
work even after she had become large with child and that she was killing
herself in his service, he did not intend to be unkind to her. When his father,
who was old and twisted with toil, made over to him the ownership of the farm
and seemed content to creep away to a corner and wait for death, he shrugged
his shoulders and dismissed the old man from his mind.
In the room by the
window overlooking the land that had come down to him sat Jesse thinking of his
own affairs. In the stables he could hear the tramping of his horses and the
restless movement of his cattle. Away in the fields he could see other cattle wandering
over green hills. The voices of men, his men who worked for him, came in to him
through the window. From the milkhouse there was the steady thump, thump of a
churn being manipulated by the half-witted girl, Eliza Stoughton. Jesse's mind
went back to the men of Old Testament days who had also owned lands and herds.
He remembered how God had come down out of the skies and talked to these men
and he wanted God to notice and to talk to him also. A kind of feverish boyish
eagerness to in some way achieve in his own life the flavor of significance
that had hung over these men took possession of him. Being a prayerful man he
spoke of the matter aloud to God and the sound of his own words strengthened
and fed his eagerness.
"I am a new kind
of man come into possession of these fields," he declared. "Look upon
me, O God, and look Thou also upon my neighbors and all the men who have gone
before me here! O God, create in me another Jesse, like that one of old, to
rule over men and to be the father of sons who shall be rulers!" Jesse
grew excited as he talked aloud and jumping to his feet walked up and down in
the room. In fancy he saw himself living in old times and among old peoples.
The land that lay stretched out before him became of vast significance, a place
peopled by his fancy with a new race of men sprung from himself. It seemed to
him that in his day as in those other and older days, kingdoms might be created
and new impulses given to the lives of men by the power of God speaking through
a chosen servant. He longed to be such a servant. "It is God's work I have
come to the land to do," he declared in a loud voice and his short figure
straightened and he thought that something like a halo of Godly approval hung
over him.
It will perhaps be
somewhat difficult for the men and women of a later day to understand Jesse
Bentley. In the last fifty years a vast change has taken place in the lives of
our people. A revolution has in fact taken place. The coming of industrialism,
attended by all the roar and rattle of affairs, the shrill cries of millions of
new voices that have come among us from overseas, the going and coming of
trains, the growth of cities, the building of the inter- urban car lines that
weave in and out of towns and past farmhouses, and now in these later days the
coming of the automobiles has worked a tremendous change in the lives and in
the habits of thought of our people of Mid-America. Books, badly imagined and
written though they may be in the hurry of our times, are in every household, magazines
circulate by the millions of copies, newspapers are everywhere. In our day a
farmer standing by the stove in the store in his village has his mind filled to
overflowing with the words of other men. The newspapers and the magazines have
pumped him full. Much of the old brutal ignorance that had in it also a kind of
beautiful childlike innocence is gone forever. The farmer by the stove is
brother to the men of the cities, and if you listen you will find him talking
as glibly and as senselessly as the best city man of us all.
In Jesse Bentley's time
and in the country districts of the whole Middle West in the years after the
Civil War it was not so. Men labored too hard and were too tired to read. In
them was no desire for words printed upon paper. As they worked in the fields,
vague, half-formed thoughts took possession of them. They believed in God and
in God's power to control their lives. In the little Protestant churches they
gathered on Sunday to hear of God and his works. The churches were the center
of the social and intellectual life of the times. The figure of God was big in
the hearts of men.
And so, having been
born an imaginative child and having within him a great intellectual eagerness,
Jesse Bentley had turned wholeheartedly toward God. When the war took his
brothers away, he saw the hand of God in that. When his father became ill and
could no longer attend to the running of the farm, he took that also as a sign
from God. In the city, when the word came to him, he walked about at night through
the streets thinking of the matter and when he had come home and had got the
work on the farm well under way, he went again at night to walk through the
forests and over the low hills and to think of God.
As he walked the
importance of his own figure in some divine plan grew in his mind. He grew
avaricious and was impatient that the farm contained only six hundred acres.
Kneeling in a fence corner at the edge of some meadow, he sent his voice abroad
into the silence and looking up he saw the stars shining down at him.
One evening, some
months after his father's death, and when his wife Katherine was expecting at
any moment to be laid abed of childbirth, Jesse left his house and went for a
long walk. The Bentley farm was situated in a tiny valley watered by Wine
Creek, and Jesse walked along the banks of the stream to the end of his own
land and on through the fields of his neighbors. As he walked the valley
broadened and then narrowed again. Great open stretches of field and wood lay
before him. The moon came out from behind clouds, and, climbing a low hill, he
sat down to think.
Jesse thought that as
the true servant of God the entire stretch of country through which he had
walked should have come into his possession. He thought of his dead brothers
and blamed them that they had not worked harder and achieved more. Before him
in the moonlight the tiny stream ran down over stones, and he began to think of
the men of old times who like himself had owned flocks and lands.
A fantastic impulse,
half fear, half greediness, took possession of Jesse Bentley. He remembered how
in the old Bible story the Lord had appeared to that other Jesse and told him
to send his son David to where Saul and the men of Israel were fighting the
Philistines in the Valley of Elah. Into Jesse's mind came the conviction that
all of the Ohio farmers who owned land in the valley of Wine Creek were
Philistines and enemies of God. "Suppose," he whispered to himself,
"there should come from among them one who, like Goliath the Philistine of
Gath, could defeat me and take from me my possessions." In fancy he felt
the sickening dread that he thought must have lain heavy on the heart of Saul
before the coming of David. Jumping to his feet, he began to run through the
night. As he ran he called to God. His voice carried far over the low hills.
"Jehovah of Hosts," he cried, "send to me this night out of the
womb of Katherine, a son. Let Thy grace alight upon me. Send me a son to be
called David who shall help me to pluck at last all of these lands out of the
hands of the Philistines and turn them to Thy service and to the building of
Thy kingdom on earth."
DAVID HARDY of
Winesburg, Ohio, was the grandson of Jesse Bentley, the owner of Bentley farms.
When he was twelve years old he went to the old Bentley place to live. His
mother, Louise Bentley, the girl who came into the world on that night when
Jesse ran through the fields crying to God that he be given a son, had grown to
womanhood on the farm and had married young John Hardy of Winesburg, who became
a banker. Louise and her husband did not live happily together and everyone
agreed that she was to blame. She was a small woman with sharp grey eyes and
black hair. From childhood she had been inclined to fits of temper and when not
angry she was often morose and silent. In Winesburg it was said that she drank.
Her husband, the banker, who was a careful, shrewd man, tried hard to make her
happy. When he began to make money he bought for her a large brick house on Elm
Street in Winesburg and he was the first man in that town to keep a manservant
to drive his wife's carriage.
But Louise could not be
made happy. She flew into half insane fits of temper during which she was
sometimes silent, sometimes noisy and quarrelsome. She swore and cried out in
her anger. She got a knife from the kitchen and threatened her husband's life.
Once she deliberately set fire to the house, and often she hid herself away for
days in her own room and would see no one. Her life, lived as a half recluse,
gave rise to all sorts of stories concerning her. It was said that she took
drugs and that she hid herself away from people because she was often so under
the influence of drink that her condition could not be concealed. Sometimes on
summer afternoons she came out of the house and got into her carriage.
Dismissing the driver she took the reins in her own hands and drove off at top
speed through the streets. If a pedestrian got in her way she drove straight
ahead and the frightened citizen had to escape as best he could. To the people
of the town it seemed as though she wanted to run them down. When she had
driven through several streets, tearing around corners and beating the horses
with the whip, she drove off into the country. On the country roads after she
had gotten out of sight of the houses she let the horses slow down to a walk
and her wild, reckless mood passed. She became thoughtful and muttered words.
Sometimes tears came into her eyes. And then when she came back into town she
again drove furiously through the quiet streets. But for the influence of her
husband and the respect he inspired in people's minds she would have been
arrested more than once by the town marshal.
Young David Hardy grew
up in the house with this woman and as can well be imagined there was not much
joy in his childhood. He was too young then to have opinions of his own about
people, but at times it was difficult for him not to have very definite
opinions about the woman who was his mother. David was always a quiet, orderly
boy and for a long time was thought by the people of Winesburg to be something
of a dullard. His eyes were brown and as a child he had a habit of looking at
things and people a long time without appearing to see what he was looking at.
When he heard his mother spoken of harshly or when he overheard her berating
his father, he was frightened and ran away to hide. Sometimes he could not find
a hiding place and that confused him. Turning his face toward a tree or if he
was indoors toward the wall, he closed his eyes and tried not to think of
anything. He had a habit of talking aloud to himself, and early in life a
spirit of quiet sadness often took possession of him.
On the occasions when
David went to visit his grandfather on the Bentley farm, he was altogether
contented and happy. Often he wished that he would never have to go back to
town and once when he had come home from the farm after a long visit, something
happened that had a lasting effect on his mind.
David had come back
into town with one of the hired men. The man was in a hurry to go about his own
affairs and left the boy at the head of the street in which the Hardy house
stood. It was early dusk of a fall evening and the sky was overcast with
clouds. Something happened to David. He could not bear to go into the house
where his mother and father lived, and on an impulse he decided to run away
from home. He intended to go back to the farm and to his grandfather, but lost
his way and for hours he wandered weeping and frightened on country roads. It
started to rain and lightning flashed in the sky. The boy's imagination was
excited and he fancied that he could see and hear strange things in the
darkness. Into his mind came the conviction that he was walking and running in
some terrible void where no one had ever been before. The darkness about him
seemed limitless. The sound of the wind blowing in trees was terrifying. When a
team of horses approached along the road in which he walked he was frightened
and climbed a fence. Through a field he ran until he came into another road and
getting upon his knees felt of the soft ground with his fingers. But for the
figure of his grandfather, whom he was afraid he would never find in the
darkness, he thought the world must be altogether empty. When his cries were
heard by a farmer who was walking home from town and he was brought back to his
father's house, he was so tired and excited that he did not know what was
happening to him.
By chance David's
father knew that he had disappeared. On the street he had met the farm hand
from the Bentley place and knew of his son's return to town. When the boy did
not come home an alarm was set up and John Hardy with several men of the town
went to search the country. The report that David had been kidnapped ran about
through the streets of Winesburg. When he came home there were no lights in the
house, but his mother appeared and clutched him eagerly in her arms. David
thought she had suddenly become another woman. He could not believe that so
delightful a thing had happened. With her own hands Louise Hardy bathed his
tired young body and cooked him food. She would not let him go to bed but, when
he had put on his nightgown, blew out the lights and sat down in a chair to
hold him in her arms. For an hour the woman sat in the darkness and held her
boy. All the time she kept talking in a low voice. David could not understand
what had so changed her. Her habitually dissatisfied face had become, he
thought, the most peaceful and lovely thing he had ever seen. When he began to
weep she held him more and more tightly. On and on went her voice. It was not
harsh or shrill as when she talked to her husband, but was like rain falling on
trees. Presently men began coming to the door to report that he had not been
found, but she made him hide and be silent until she had sent them away. He
thought it must be a game his mother and the men of the town were playing with
him and laughed joyously. Into his mind came the thought that his having been
lost and frightened in the darkness was an altogether unimportant matter. He
thought that he would have been willing to go through the frightful experience
a thousand times to be sure of finding at the end of the long black road a
thing so lovely as his mother had suddenly become.
During the last years
of young David's boyhood he saw his mother but seldom and she became for him
just a woman with whom he had once lived. Still he could not get her figure out
of his mind and as he grew older it became more definite. When he was twelve
years old he went to the Bentley farm to live. Old Jesse came into town and
fairly demanded that he be given charge of the boy. The old man was excited and
determined on having his own way. He talked to John Hardy in the office of the
Winesburg Savings Bank and then the two men went to the house on Elm Street to
talk with Louise. They both expected her to make trouble but were mistaken. She
was very quiet and when Jesse had explained his mission and had gone on at some
length about the advantages to come through having the boy out of doors and in
the quiet atmosphere of the old farmhouse, she nodded her head in approval.
"It is an atmosphere not corrupted by my presence," she said sharply.
Her shoulders shook and she seemed about to fly into a fit of temper. "It
is a place for a man child, although it was never a place for me," she
went on. "You never wanted me there and of course the air of your house
did me no good. It was like poison in my blood but it will be different with
him."
Louise turned and went
out of the room, leaving the two men to sit in embarrassed silence. As very
often happened she later stayed in her room for days. Even when the boy's
clothes were packed and he was taken away she did not appear. The loss of her
son made a sharp break in her life and she seemed less inclined to quarrel with
her husband. John Hardy thought it had all turned out very well indeed.
And so young David went
to live in the Bentley farmhouse with Jesse. Two of the old farmer's sisters
were alive and still lived in the house. They were afraid of Jesse and rarely
spoke when he was about. One of the women who had been noted for her flaming
red hair when she was younger was a born mother and became the boy's caretaker.
Every night when he had gone to bed she went into his room and sat on the floor
until he fell asleep. When he became drowsy she became bold and whispered
things that he later thought he must have dreamed.
Her soft low voice
called him endearing names and he dreamed that his mother had come to him and
that she had changed so that she was always as she had been that time after he
ran away. He also grew bold and reaching out his hand stroked the face of the
woman on the floor so that she was ecstatically happy. Everyone in the old
house became happy after the boy went there. The hard insistent thing in Jesse
Bentley that had kept the people in the house silent and timid and that had
never been dispelled by the presence of the girl Louise was apparently swept
away by the coming of the boy. It was as though God had relented and sent a son
to the man.
The man who had
proclaimed himself the only true servant of God in all the valley of Wine
Creek, and who had wanted God to send him a sign of approval by way of a son
out of the womb of Katherine, began to think that at last his prayers had been
answered. Although he was at that time only fifty- five years old he looked
seventy and was worn out with much thinking and scheming. The effort he had
made to extend his land holdings had been successful and there were few farms
in the valley that did not belong to him, but until David came he was a
bitterly disappointed man.
There were two
influences at work in Jesse Bentley and all his life his mind had been a
battleground for these influences. First there was the old thing in him. He
wanted to be a man of God and a leader among men of God. His walking in the
fields and through the forests at night had brought him close to nature and
there were forces in the passionately religious man that ran out to the forces
in nature. The disappointment that had come to him when a daughter and not a
son had been born to Katherine had fallen upon him like a blow struck by some
unseen hand and the blow had somewhat softened his egotism. He still believed
that God might at any moment make himself manifest out of the winds or the
clouds, but he no longer demanded such recognition. Instead he prayed for it.
Sometimes he was altogether doubtful and thought God had deserted the world. He
regretted the fate that had not let him live in a simpler and sweeter time when
at the beckoning of some strange cloud in the sky men left their lands and
houses and went forth into the wilderness to create new races. While he worked
night and day to make his farms more productive and to extend his holdings of
land, he regretted that he could not use his own restless energy in the
building of temples, the slaying of unbelievers and in general in the work of
glorifying God's name on earth.
That is what Jesse
hungered for and then also he hungered for something else. He had grown into
maturity in America in the years after the Civil War and he, like all men of
his time, had been touched by the deep influences that were at work in the
country during those years when modem industrialism was being born. He began to
buy machines that would permit him to do the work of the farms while employing
fewer men and he sometimes thought that if he were a younger man he would give
up farming altogether and start a factory in Winesburg for the making of
machinery. Jesse formed the habit of reading newspapers and magazines. He
invented a machine for the making of fence out of wire. Faintly he realized
that the atmosphere of old times and places that he had always cultivated in
his own mind was strange and foreign to the thing that was growing up in the
minds of others. The beginning of the most materialistic age in the history of
the world, when wars would be fought without patriotism, when men would forget
God and only pay attention to moral standards, when the will to power would
replace the will to serve and beauty would be well-nigh forgotten in the
terrible headlong rush of mankind toward the acquiring of possessions, was
telling its story to Jesse the man of God as it was to the men about him. The
greedy thing in him wanted to make money faster than it could be made by
tilling the land. More than once he went into Winesburg to talk with his
son-in-law John Hardy about it. "You are a banker and you will have
chances I never had," he said and his eyes shone. "I am thinking
about it all the time. Big things are going to be done in the country and there
will be more money to be made than I ever dreamed of. You get into it. I wish I
were younger and had your chance." Jesse Bentley walked up and down in the
bank office and grew more and more excited as he talked. At one time in his
life he had been threatened with paralysis and his left side remained somewhat
weakened. As he talked his left eyelid twitched. Later when he drove back home
and when night came on and the stars came out it was harder to get back the old
feeling of a close and personal God who lived in the sky overhead and who might
at any moment reach out his hand, touch him on the shoulder, and appoint for
him some heroic task to be done. Jesse's mind was fixed upon the things read in
newspapers and magazines, on fortunes to be made almost without effort by
shrewd men who bought and sold. For him the coming of the boy David did much to
bring back with renewed force the old faith and it seemed to him that God had
at last looked with favor upon him.
As for the boy on the
farm, life began to reveal itself to him in a thousand new and delightful ways.
The kindly attitude of all about him expanded his quiet nature and he lost the
half timid, hesitating manner he had always had with his people. At night when
he went to bed after a long day of adventures in the stables, in the fields, or
driving about from farm to farm with his grandfather, he wanted to embrace
everyone in the house. If Sherley Bentley, the woman who came each night to sit
on the floor by his bedside, did not appear at once, he went to the head of the
stairs and shouted, his young voice ringing through the narrow halls where for
so long there had been a tradition of silence. In the morning when he awoke and
lay still in bed, the sounds that came in to him through the windows filled him
with delight. He thought with a shudder of the life in the house in Winesburg
and of his mother's angry voice that had always made him tremble. There in the
country all sounds were pleasant sounds. When he awoke at dawn the barnyard
back of the house also awoke. In the house people stirred about. Eliza
Stoughton the half-witted girl was poked in the ribs by a farm hand and giggled
noisily, in some distant field a cow bawled and was answered by the cattle in
the stables, and one of the farm hands spoke sharply to the horse he was
grooming by the stable door. David leaped out of bed and ran to a window. All
of the people stirring about excited his mind, and he wondered what his mother
was doing in the house in town.
From the windows of his
own room he could not see directly into the barnyard where the farm hands had
now all assembled to do the morning shores, but he could hear the voices of the
men and the neighing of the horses. When one of the men laughed, he laughed
also. Leaning out at the open window, he looked into an orchard where a fat sow
wandered about with a litter of tiny pigs at her heels. Every morning he
counted the pigs. "Four, five, six, seven," he said slowly, wetting
his finger and making straight up and down marks on the window ledge. David ran
to put on his trousers and shirt. A feverish desire to get out of doors took
possession of him. Every morning he made such a noise coming down stairs that
Aunt Callie, the house- keeper, declared he was trying to tear the house down.
When he had run through the long old house, shutting the doors behind him with
a bang, he came into the barnyard and looked about with an amazed air of
expectancy. It seemed to him that in such a place tremendous things might have
happened during the night. The farm hands looked at him and laughed. Henry
Strader, an old man who had been on the farm since Jesse came into possession
and who before David's time had never been known to make a joke, made the same
joke every morning. It amused David so that he laughed and clapped his hands.
"See, come here and look," cried the old man. "Grandfather
Jesse's white mare has tom the black stocking she wears on her foot."
Day after day through
the long summer, Jesse Bentley drove from farm to farm up and down the valley
of Wine Creek, and his grandson went with him. They rode in a comfortable old
phaeton drawn by the white horse. The old man scratched his thin white beard
and talked to himself of his plans for increasing the productiveness of the
fields they visited and of God's part in the plans all men made. Sometimes he
looked at David and smiled happily and then for a long time he appeared to
forget the boy's existence. More and more every day now his mind turned back
again to the dreams that had filled his mind when he had first come out of the
city to live on the land. One afternoon he startled David by letting his dreams
take entire possession of him. With the boy as a witness, he went through a
ceremony and brought about an accident that nearly destroyed the companionship
that was growing up between them.
Jesse and his grandson
were driving in a distant part of the valley some miles from home. A forest
came down to the road and through the forest Wine Creek wriggled its way over
stones toward a distant river. All the afternoon Jesse had been in a meditative
mood and now he began to talk. His mind went back to the night when he had been
frightened by thoughts of a giant that might come to rob and plunder him of his
possessions, and again as on that night when he had run through the fields
crying for a son, he became excited to the edge of insanity. Stopping the horse
he got out of the buggy and asked David to get out also. The two climbed over a
fence and walked along the bank of the stream. The boy paid no attention to the
muttering of his grandfather, but ran along beside him and wondered what was
going to happen. When a rabbit jumped up and ran away through the woods, he
clapped his hands and danced with delight. He looked at the tall trees and was
sorry that he was not a little animal to climb high in the air without being
frightened. Stooping, he picked up a small stone and threw it over the head of
his grandfather into a clump of bushes. "Wake up, little animal. Go and
climb to the top of the trees," he shouted in a shrill voice.
Jesse Bentley went
along under the trees with his head bowed and with his mind in a ferment. His
earnestness affected the boy, who presently became silent and a little alarmed.
Into the old man's mind had come the notion that now he could bring from God a
word or a sign out of the sky, that the presence of the boy and man on their
knees in some lonely spot in the forest would make the miracle he had been
waiting for almost inevitable. "It was in just such a place as this that
other David tended the sheep when his father came and told him to go down unto
Saul," he muttered.
Taking the boy rather
roughly by the shoulder, he climbed over a fallen log and when he had come to
an open place among the trees he dropped upon his knees and began to pray in a
loud voice.
A kind of terror he had
never known before took possession of David. Crouching beneath a tree he watched
the man on the ground before him and his own knees began to tremble. It seemed
to him that he was in the presence not only of his grandfather but of someone
else, someone who might hurt him, someone who was not kindly but dangerous and
brutal. He began to cry and reaching down picked up a small stick, which he
held tightly gripped in his fingers. When Jesse Bentley, absorbed in his own
idea, suddenly arose and advanced toward him, his terror grew until his whole
body shook. In the woods an intense silence seemed to lie over everything and
suddenly out of the silence came the old man's harsh and insistent voice.
Gripping the boy's shoulders, Jesse turned his face to the sky and shouted. The
whole left side of his face twitched and his hand on the boy's shoulder
twitched also. "Make a sign to me, God," he cried. "Here I stand
with the boy David. Come down to me out of the sky and make Thy presence known
to me."
With a cry of fear,
David turned and, shaking himself loose from the hands that held him, ran away
through the forest. He did not believe that the man who turned up his face and
in a harsh voice shouted at the sky was his grandfather at all. The man did not
look like his grandfather. The conviction that something strange and terrible
had happened, that by some miracle a new and dangerous person had come into the
body of the kindly old man, took possession of him. On and on he ran down the
hillside, sobbing as he ran. When he fell over the roots of a tree and in
falling struck his head, he arose and tried to run on again. His head hurt so
that presently he fell down and lay still, but it was only after Jesse had
carried him to the buggy and he awoke to find the old man's hand stroking his
head tenderly that the terror left him. "Take me away. There is a terrible
man back there in the woods," he declared firmly, while Jesse looked away
over the tops of the trees and again his lips cried out to God. "What have
I done that Thou dost not approve of me," he whispered softly, saying the
words over and over as he drove rapidly along the road with the boy's cut and
bleeding head held tenderly against his shoulder.
THE story of Louise
Bentley, who became Mrs. John Hardy and lived with her husband in a brick house
on Elm Street in Winesburg, is a story of misunderstanding.
Before such women as
Louise can be understood and their lives made livable, much will have to be
done. Thoughtful books will have to be written and thoughtful lives lived by
people about them.
Born of a delicate and
overworked mother, and an impulsive, hard, imaginative father, who did not look
with favor upon her coming into the world, Louise was from childhood a
neurotic, one of the race of over-sensitive women that in later days
industrialism was to bring in such great numbers into the world.
During her early years
she lived on the Bentley farm, a silent, moody child, wanting love more than
anything else in the world and not getting it. When she was fifteen she went to
live in Winesburg with the family of Albert Hardy, who had a store for the sale
of buggies and wagons, and who was a member of the town board of education.
Louise went into town
to be a student in the Winesburg High School and she went to live at the
Hardys' because Albert Hardy and her father were friends.
Hardy, the vehicle
merchant of Winesburg, like thousands of other men of his times, was an
enthusiast on the subject of education. He had made his own way in the world
without learning got from books, but he was convinced that had he but known
books things would have gone better with him. To everyone who came into his
shop he talked of the matter, and in his own household he drove his family
distracted by his constant harping on the subject.
He had two daughters
and one son, John Hardy, and more than once the daughters threatened to leave
school altogether. As a matter of principle they did just enough work in their
classes to avoid punishment. "I hate books and I hate anyone who likes
books," Harriet, the younger of the two girls, declared passionately.
In Winesburg as on the
farm Louise was not happy. For years she had dreamed of the time when she could
go forth into the world, and she looked upon the move into the Hardy household
as a great step in the direction of freedom. Always when she had thought of the
matter, it had seemed to her that in town all must be gaiety and life, that
there men and women must live happily and freely, giving and taking friendship
and affection as one takes the feel of a wind on the cheek. After the silence and
the cheerlessness of life in the Bentley house, she dreamed of stepping forth
into an atmosphere that was warm and pulsating with life and reality. And in
the Hardy household Louise might have got something of the thing for which she
so hungered but for a mistake she made when she had just come to town.
Louise won the disfavor
of the two Hardy girls, Mary and Harriet, by her application to her studies in
school. She did not come to the house until the day when school was to begin
and knew nothing of the feeling they had in the matter. She was timid and during
the first month made no acquaintances. Every Friday afternoon one of the hired
men from the farm drove into Winesburg and took her home for the week-end, so
that she did not spend the Saturday holiday with the town people. Because she
was embarrassed and lonely she worked constantly at her studies. To Mary and
Harriet, it seemed as though she tried to make trouble for them by her
proficiency. In her eagerness to appear well Louise wanted to answer every
question put to the class by the teacher. She jumped up and down and her eyes
flashed. Then when she had answered some question the others in the class had
been unable to answer, she smiled happily. "See, I have done it for
you," her eyes seemed to say. "You need not bother about the matter.
I will answer all questions. For the whole class it will be easy while I am
here."
In the evening after
supper in the Hardy house, Albert Hardy began to praise Louise. One of the
teachers had spoken highly of her and he was delighted. "Well, again I
have heard of it," he began, looking hard at his daughters and then
turning to smile at Louise. "Another of the teachers has told me of the
good work Louise is doing. Everyone in Winesburg is telling me how smart she
is. I am ashamed that they do not speak so of my own girls." Arising, the
merchant marched about the room and lighted his evening cigar.
The two girls looked at
each other and shook their heads wearily. Seeing their indifference the father
became angry. "I tell you it is something for you two to be thinking about,"
he cried, glaring at them. "There is a big change coming here in America
and in learning is the only hope of the coming generations. Louise is the
daughter of a rich man but she is not ashamed to study. It should make you
ashamed to see what she does."
The merchant took his
hat from a rack by the door and prepared to depart for the evening. At the door
he stopped and glared back. So fierce was his manner that Louise was frightened
and ran upstairs to her own room. The daughters began to speak of their own
affairs. "Pay attention to me," roared the merchant. "Your minds
are lazy. Your indifference to education is affecting your characters. You will
amount to nothing. Now mark what I say--Louise will be so far ahead of you that
you will never catch up."
The distracted man went
out of the house and into the street shaking with wrath. He went along
muttering words and swearing, but when he got into Main Street his anger
passed. He stopped to talk of the weather or the crops with some other merchant
or with a farmer who had come into town and forgot his daughters altogether or,
if he thought of them, only shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, well, girls will
be girls," he muttered philosophically.
In the house when
Louise came down into the room where the two girls sat, they would have nothing
to do with her. One evening after she had been there for more than six weeks
and was heartbroken because of the continued air of coldness with which she was
always greeted, she burst into tears. "Shut up your crying and go back to
your own room and to your books," Mary Hardy said sharply.
The room occupied by
Louise was on the second floor of the Hardy house, and her window looked out
upon an orchard. There was a stove in the room and every evening young John
Hardy carried up an armful of wood and put it in a box that stood by the wall.
During the second month after she came to the house, Louise gave up all hope of
getting on a friendly footing with the Hardy girls and went to her own room as
soon as the evening meal was at an end.
Her mind began to play
with thoughts of making friends with John Hardy. When he came into the room
with the wood in his arms, she pretended to be busy with her studies but
watched him eagerly. When he had put the wood in the box and turned to go out,
she put down her head and blushed. She tried to make talk but could say
nothing, and after he had gone she was angry at herself for her stupidity.
The mind of the country
girl became filled with the idea of drawing close to the young man. She thought
that in him might be found the quality she had all her life been seeking in
people. It seemed to her that between herself and all the other people in the
world, a wall had been built up and that she was living just on the edge of
some warm inner circle of life that must be quite open and understandable to
others. She became obsessed with the thought that it wanted but a courageous
act on her part to make all of her association with people something quite
different, and that it was possible by such an act to pass into a new life as
one opens a door and goes into a room. Day and night she thought of the matter,
but although the thing she wanted so earnestly was something very warm and
close it had as yet no conscious connection with sex. It had not become that
definite, and her mind had only alighted upon the person of John Hardy because
he was at hand and unlike his sisters had not been unfriendly to her.
The Hardy sisters, Mary
and Harriet, were both older than Louise. In a certain kind of knowledge of the
world they were years older. They lived as all of the young women of Middle
Western towns lived. In those days young women did not go out of our towns to
Eastern colleges and ideas in regard to social classes had hardly begun to
exist. A daughter of a laborer was in much the same social position as a
daughter of a farmer or a merchant, and there were no leisure classes. A girl
was "nice" or she was "not nice." If a nice girl, she had a
young man who came to her house to see her on Sunday and on Wednesday evenings.
Sometimes she went with her young man to a dance or a church social. At other
times she received him at the house and was given the use of the parlor for
that purpose. No one intruded upon her. For hours the two sat behind closed
doors. Sometimes the lights were turned low and the young man and woman
embraced. Cheeks became hot and hair disarranged. After a year or two, if the
impulse within them became strong and insistent enough, they married.
One evening during her
first winter in Winesburg, Louise had an adventure that gave a new impulse to
her desire to break down the wall that she thought stood between her and John
Hardy. It was Wednesday and immediately after the evening meal Albert Hardy put
on his hat and went away. Young John brought the wood and put it in the box in
Louise's room. "You do work hard, don't you?" he said awkwardly, and
then before she could answer he also went away.
Louise heard him go out
of the house and had a mad desire to run after him. Opening her window she leaned
out and called softly, "John, dear John, come back, don't go away."
The night was cloudy and she could not see far into the darkness, but as she
waited she fancied she could hear a soft little noise as of someone going on
tiptoes through the trees in the orchard. She was frightened and closed the
window quickly. For an hour she moved about the room trembling with excitement
and when she could not longer bear the waiting, she crept into the hall and
down the stairs into a closet-like room that opened off the parlor.
Louise had decided that
she would perform the courageous act that had for weeks been in her mind. She
was convinced that John Hardy had concealed himself in the orchard beneath her
window and she was determined to find him and tell him that she wanted him to
come close to her, to hold her in his arms, to tell her of his thoughts and
dreams and to listen while she told him her thoughts and dreams. "In the
darkness it will be easier to say things," she whispered to herself, as
she stood in the little room groping for the door.
And then suddenly
Louise realized that she was not alone in the house. In the parlor on the other
side of the door a man's voice spoke softly and the door opened. Louise just
had time to conceal herself in a little opening beneath the stairway when Mary
Hardy, accompanied by her young man, came into the little dark room.
For an hour Louise sat
on the floor in the darkness and listened. Without words Mary Hardy, with the
aid of the man who had come to spend the evening with her, brought to the
country girl a knowledge of men and women. Putting her head down until she was
curled into a little ball she lay perfectly still. It seemed to her that by
some strange impulse of the gods, a great gift had been brought to Mary Hardy
and she could not understand the older woman's determined protest.
The young man took Mary
Hardy into his arms and kissed her. When she struggled and laughed, he but held
her the more tightly. For an hour the contest between them went on and then
they went back into the parlor and Louise escaped up the stairs. "I hope
you were quiet out there. You must not disturb the little mouse at her
studies," she heard Harriet saying to her sister as she stood by her own
door in the hallway above.
Louise wrote a note to
John Hardy and late that night, when all in the house were asleep, she crept
downstairs and slipped it under his door. She was afraid that if she did not do
the thing at once her courage would fail. In the note she tried to be quite
definite about what she wanted. "I want someone to love me and I want to
love someone," she wrote. "If you are the one for me I want you to
come into the orchard at night and make a noise under my window. It will be
easy for me to crawl down over the shed and come to you. I am thinking about it
all the time, so if you are to come at all you must come soon."
For a long time Louise
did not know what would be the outcome of her bold attempt to secure for
herself a lover. In a way she still did not know whether or not she wanted him
to come. Sometimes it seemed to her that to be held tightly and kissed was the
whole secret of life, and then a new impulse came and she was terribly afraid.
The age-old woman's desire to be possessed had taken possession of her, but so
vague was her notion of life that it seemed to her just the touch of John
Hardy's hand upon her own hand would satisfy. She wondered if he would
understand that. At the table next day while Albert Hardy talked and the two
girls whispered and laughed, she did not look at John but at the table and as
soon as possible escaped. In the evening she went out of the house until she
was sure he had taken the wood to her room and gone away. When after several
evenings of intense listening she heard no call from the darkness in the
orchard, she was half beside herself with grief and decided that for her there
was no way to break through the wall that had shut her off from the joy of
life.
And then on a Monday
evening two or three weeks after the writing of the note, John Hardy came for
her. Louise had so entirely given up the thought of his coming that for a long
time she did not hear the call that came up from the orchard. On the Friday
evening before, as she was being driven back to the farm for the week-end by
one of the hired men, she had on an impulse done a thing that had startled her,
and as John Hardy stood in the darkness below and called her name softly and
insistently, she walked about in her room and wondered what new impulse had led
her to commit so ridiculous an act.
The farm hand, a young
fellow with black curly hair, had come for her somewhat late on that Friday
evening and they drove home in the darkness. Louise, whose mind was filled with
thoughts of John Hardy, tried to make talk but the country boy was embarrassed
and would say nothing. Her mind began to review the loneliness of her childhood
and she remembered with a pang the sharp new loneliness that had just come to
her. "I hate everyone," she cried suddenly, and then broke forth into
a tirade that frightened her escort. "I hate father and the old man Hardy,
too," she declared vehemently. "I get my lessons there in the school
in town but I hate that also."
Louise frightened the
farm hand still more by turning and putting her cheek down upon his shoulder.
Vaguely she hoped that he like that young man who had stood in the darkness
with Mary would put his arms about her and kiss her, but the country boy was
only alarmed. He struck the horse with the whip and began to whistle. "The
road is rough, eh?" he said loudly. Louise was so angry that reaching up
she snatched his hat from his head and threw it into the road. When he jumped
out of the buggy and went to get it, she drove off and left him to walk the
rest of the way back to the farm.
Louise Bentley took
John Hardy to be her lover. That was not what she wanted but it was so the
young man had interpreted her approach to him, and so anxious was she to
achieve something else that she made no resistance. When after a few months
they were both afraid that she was about to become a mother, they went one
evening to the county seat and were married. For a few months they lived in the
Hardy house and then took a house of their own. All during the first year
Louise tried to make her husband understand the vague and intangible hunger
that had led to the writing of the note and that was still unsatisfied. Again
and again she crept into his arms and tried to talk of it, but always without
success. Filled with his own notions of love between men and women, he did not
listen but began to kiss her upon the lips. That confused her so that in the
end she did not want to be kissed. She did not know what she wanted.
When the alarm that had
tricked them into marriage proved to be groundless, she was angry and said
bitter, hurtful things. Later when her son David was born, she could not nurse
him and did not know whether she wanted him or not. Sometimes she stayed in the
room with him all day, walking about and occasionally creeping close to touch
him tenderly with her hands, and then other days came when she did not want to
see or be near the tiny bit of humanity that had come into the house. When John
Hardy reproached her for her cruelty, she laughed. "It is a man child and
will get what it wants anyway," she said sharply. "Had it been a
woman child there is nothing in the world I would not have done for it."
WHEN David Hardy was a
tall boy of fifteen, he, like his mother, had an adventure that changed the
whole current of his life and sent him out of his quiet corner into the world.
The shell of the circumstances of his life was broken and he was compelled to
start forth. He left Winesburg and no one there ever saw him again. After his
disappearance, his mother and grandfather both died and his father became very
rich. He spent much money in trying to locate his son, but that is no part of
this story.
It was in the late fall
of an unusual year on the Bentley farms. Everywhere the crops had been heavy.
That spring, Jesse had bought part of a long strip of black swamp land that lay
in the valley of Wine Creek. He got the land at a low price but had spent a
large sum of money to improve it. Great ditches had to be dug and thousands of
tile laid. Neighboring farmers shook their heads over the expense. Some of them
laughed and hoped that Jesse would lose heavily by the venture, but the old man
went silently on with the work and said nothing.
When the land was
drained he planted it to cabbages and onions, and again the neighbors laughed.
The crop was, however, enormous and brought high prices. In the one year Jesse
made enough money to pay for all the cost of preparing the land and had a
surplus that enabled him to buy two more farms. He was exultant and could not
conceal his delight. For the first time in all the history of his ownership of
the farms, he went among his men with a smiling face.
Jesse bought a great
many new machines for cutting down the cost of labor and all of the remaining
acres in the strip of black fertile swamp land. One day he went into Winesburg
and bought a bicycle and a new suit of clothes for David and he gave his two
sisters money with which to go to a religious convention at Cleveland, Ohio.
In the fall of that
year when the frost came and the trees in the forests along Wine Creek were
golden brown, David spent every moment when he did not have to attend school,
out in the open. Alone or with other boys he went every afternoon into the
woods to gather nuts. The other boys of the countryside, most of them sons of
laborers on the Bentley farms, had guns with which they went hunting rabbits
and squirrels, but David did not go with them. He made himself a sling with
rubber bands and a forked stick and went off by himself to gather nuts. As he
went about thoughts came to him. He realized that he was almost a man and
wondered what he would do in life, but before they came to anything, the
thoughts passed and he was a boy again. One day he killed a squirrel that sat
on one of the lower branches of a tree and chattered at him. Home he ran with
the squirrel in his hand. One of the Bentley sisters cooked the little animal
and he ate it with great gusto. The skin he tacked on a board and suspended the
board by a string from his bedroom window.
That gave his mind a
new turn. After that he never went into the woods without carrying the sling in
his pocket and he spent hours shooting at imaginary animals concealed among the
brown leaves in the trees. Thoughts of his coming manhood passed and he was
content to be a boy with a boy's impulses.
One Saturday morning
when he was about to set off for the woods with the sling in his pocket and a
bag for nuts on his shoulder, his grandfather stopped him. In the eyes of the
old man was the strained serious look that always a little frightened David. At
such times Jesse Bentley's eyes did not look straight ahead but wavered and
seemed to be looking at nothing. Something like an invisible curtain appeared
to have come between the man and all the rest of the world. "I want you to
come with me," he said briefly, and his eyes looked over the boy's head
into the sky. "We have something important to do today. You may bring the
bag for nuts if you wish. It does not matter and anyway we will be going into
the woods."
Jesse and David set out
from the Bentley farm- house in the old phaeton that was drawn by the white
horse. When they had gone along in silence for a long way they stopped at the
edge of a field where a flock of sheep were grazing. Among the sheep was a lamb
that had been born out of season, and this David and his grandfather caught and
tied so tightly that it looked like a little white ball. When they drove on
again Jesse let David hold the lamb in his arms. "I saw it yesterday and
it put me in mind of what I have long wanted to do," he said, and again he
looked away over the head of the boy with the wavering, uncertain stare in his
eyes.
After the feeling of
exaltation that had come to the farmer as a result of his successful year,
another mood had taken possession of him. For a long time he had been going
about feeling very humble and prayerful. Again he walked alone at night
thinking of God and as he walked he again connected his own figure with the
figures of old days. Under the stars he knelt on the wet grass and raised up
his voice in prayer. Now he had decided that like the men whose stories filled
the pages of the Bible, he would make a sacrifice to God. "I have been
given these abundant crops and God has also sent me a boy who is called
David," he whispered to himself. "Perhaps I should have done this
thing long ago." He was sorry the idea had not come into his mind in the
days before his daughter Louise had been born and thought that surely now when
he had erected a pile of burning sticks in some lonely place in the woods and
had offered the body of a lamb as a burnt offering, God would appear to him and
give him a message.
More and more as he
thought of the matter, he thought also of David and his passionate self-love
was partially forgotten. "It is time for the boy to begin thinking of
going out into the world and the message will be one concerning him," he
decided. "God will make a pathway for him. He will tell me what place
David is to take in life and when he shall set out on his journey. It is right
that the boy should be there. If I am fortunate and an angel of God should
appear, David will see the beauty and glory of God made manifest to man. It
will make a true man of God of him also."
In silence Jesse and
David drove along the road until they came to that place where Jesse had once
before appealed to God and had frightened his grandson. The morning had been
bright and cheerful, but a cold wind now began to blow and clouds hid the sun.
When David saw the place to which they had come he began to tremble with
fright, and when they stopped by the bridge where the creek came down from
among the trees, he wanted to spring out of the phaeton and run away.
A dozen plans for
escape ran through David's head, but when Jesse stopped the horse and climbed
over the fence into the wood, he followed. "It is foolish to be afraid.
Nothing will happen," he told himself as he went along with the lamb in
his arms. There was something in the helplessness of the little animal held so
tightly in his arms that gave him courage. He could feel the rapid beating of
the beast's heart and that made his own heart beat less rapidly. As he walked
swiftly along behind his grandfather, he untied the string with which the four
legs of the lamb were fastened together. "If anything happens we will run
away together," he thought.
In the woods, after
they had gone a long way from the road, Jesse stopped in an opening among the
trees where a clearing, overgrown with small bushes, ran up from the creek. He
was still silent but began at once to erect a heap of dry sticks which he
presently set afire. The boy sat on the ground with the lamb in his arms. His
imagination began to invest every movement of the old man with significance and
he became every moment more afraid. "I must put the blood of the lamb on
the head of the boy," Jesse muttered when the sticks had begun to blaze
greedily, and taking a long knife from his pocket he turned and walked rapidly
across the clearing toward David.
Terror seized upon the
soul of the boy. He was sick with it. For a moment he sat perfectly still and
then his body stiffened and he sprang to his feet. His face became as white as
the fleece of the lamb that, now finding itself suddenly released, ran down the
hill. David ran also. Fear made his feet fly. Over the low bushes and logs he
leaped frantically. As he ran he put his hand into his pocket and took out the
branched stick from which the sling for shooting squirrels was suspended. When
he came to the creek that was shallow and splashed down over the stones, he
dashed into the water and turned to look back, and when he saw his grandfather
still running toward him with the long knife held tightly in his hand he did
not hesitate, but reaching down, selected a stone and put it in the sling. With
all his strength he drew back the heavy rubber bands and the stone whistled
through the air. It hit Jesse, who had entirely forgotten the boy and was
pursuing the lamb, squarely in the head. With a groan he pitched forward and
fell almost at the boy's feet. When David saw that he lay still and that he was
apparently dead, his fright increased immeasurably. It became an insane panic.
With a cry he turned
and ran off through the woods weeping convulsively. "I don't care--I
killed him, but I don't care," he sobbed. As he ran on and on he decided
suddenly that he would never go back again to the Bentley farms or to the town
of Winesburg. "I have killed the man of God and now I will myself be a man
and go into the world," he said stoutly as he stopped running and walked
rapidly down a road that followed the windings of Wine Creek as it ran through
fields and forests into the west.
On the ground by the
creek Jesse Bentley moved uneasily about. He groaned and opened his eyes. For a
long time he lay perfectly still and looked at the sky. When at last he got to
his feet, his mind was confused and he was not surprised by the boy's
disappearance. By the roadside he sat down on a log and began to talk about
God. That is all they ever got out of him. Whenever David's name was mentioned
he looked vaguely at the sky and said that a messenger from God had taken the
boy. "It happened because I was too greedy for glory," he declared,
and would have no more to say in the matter.
HE lived with his
mother, a grey, silent woman with a peculiar ashy complexion. The house in
which they lived stood in a little grove of trees beyond where the main street
of Winesburg crossed Wine Creek. His name was Joe Welling, and his father had
been a man of some dignity in the community, a lawyer, and a member of the
state legislature at Columbus. Joe himself was small of body and in his
character unlike anyone else in town. He was like a tiny little volcano that
lies silent for days and then suddenly spouts fire. No, he wasn't like that--
he was like a man who is subject to fits, one who walks among his fellow men
inspiring fear because a fit may come upon him suddenly and blow him away into
a strange uncanny physical state in which his eyes roll and his legs and arms
jerk. He was like that, only that the visitation that descended upon Joe
Welling was a mental and not a physical thing. He was beset by ideas and in the
throes of one of his ideas was uncontrollable. Words rolled and tumbled from his
mouth. A peculiar smile came upon his lips. The edges of his teeth that were
tipped with gold glistened in the light. Pouncing upon a bystander he began to
talk. For the bystander there was no escape. The excited man breathed into his
face, peered into his eyes, pounded upon his chest with a shaking forefinger,
demanded, compelled attention.
In those days the
Standard Oil Company did not deliver oil to the consumer in big wagons and
motor trucks as it does now, but delivered instead to retail grocers, hardware
stores, and the like. Joe was the Standard Oil agent in Winesburg and in
several towns up and down the railroad that went through Winesburg. He
collected bills, booked orders, and did other things. His father, the
legislator, had secured the job for him.
In and out of the
stores of Winesburg went Joe Welling--silent, excessively polite, intent upon
his business. Men watched him with eyes in which lurked amusement tempered by
alarm. They were waiting for him to break forth, preparing to flee. Although
the seizures that came upon him were harmless enough, they could not be laughed
away. They were overwhelming. Astride an idea, Joe was overmastering. His
personality became gigantic. It overrode the man to whom he talked, swept him
away, swept all away, all who stood within sound of his voice.
In Sylvester West's
Drug Store stood four men who were talking of horse racing. Wesley Moyer's
stallion, Tony Tip, was to race at the June meeting at Tiffin, Ohio, and there
was a rumor that he would meet the stiffest competition of his career. It was
said that Pop Geers, the great racing driver, would himself be there. A doubt
of the success of Tony Tip hung heavy in the air of Winesburg.
Into the drug store
came Joe Welling, brushing the screen door violently aside. With a strange
absorbed light in his eyes he pounced upon Ed Thomas, he who knew Pop Geers and
whose opinion of Tony Tip's chances was worth considering.
"The water is up
in Wine Creek," cried Joe Welling with the air of Pheidippides bringing news
of the victory of the Greeks in the struggle at Marathon. His finger beat a
tattoo upon Ed Thomas's broad chest. "By Trunion bridge it is within
eleven and a half inches of the flooring," he went on, the words coming
quickly and with a little whistling noise from between his teeth. An expression
of helpless annoyance crept over the faces of the four.
"I have my facts
correct. Depend upon that. I went to Sinnings' Hardware Store and got a rule.
Then I went back and measured. I could hardly believe my own eyes. It hasn't
rained you see for ten days. At first I didn't know what to think. Thoughts
rushed through my head. I thought of subterranean passages and springs. Down
under the ground went my mind, delving about. I sat on the floor of the bridge
and rubbed my head. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, not one. Come out into the
street and you'll see. There wasn't a cloud. There isn't a cloud now. Yes,
there was a cloud. I don't want to keep back any facts. There was a cloud in
the west down near the horizon, a cloud no bigger than a man's hand.
"Not that I think
that has anything to do with it. There it is, you see. You understand how
puzzled I was.
"Then an idea came
to me. I laughed. You'll laugh, too. Of course it rained over in Medina County.
That's interesting, eh? If we had no trains, no mails, no telegraph, we would
know that it rained over in Medina County. That's where Wine Creek comes from.
Everyone knows that. Little old Wine Creek brought us the news. That's
interesting. I laughed. I thought I'd tell you--it's interesting, eh?"
Joe Welling turned and
went out at the door. Taking a book from his pocket, he stopped and ran a
finger down one of the pages. Again he was absorbed in his duties as agent of
the Standard Oil Company. "Hern's Grocery will be getting low on coal oil.
I'll see them," he muttered, hurrying along the street, and bowing
politely to the right and left at the people walking past.
When George Willard
went to work for the Winesburg Eagle he was besieged by Joe Welling. Joe envied
the boy. It seemed to him that he was meant by Nature to be a reporter on a
newspaper. "It is what I should be doing, there is no doubt of that,"
he declared, stopping George Willard on the sidewalk before Daugherty's Feed
Store. His eyes began to glisten and his forefinger to tremble. "Of course
I make more money with the Standard Oil Company and I'm only telling you,"
he added. "I've got nothing against you but I should have your place. I
could do the work at odd moments. Here and there I would run finding out things
you'll never see."
Becoming more excited
Joe Welling crowded the young reporter against the front of the feed store. He
appeared to be lost in thought, rolling his eyes about and running a thin
nervous hand through his hair. A smile spread over his face and his gold teeth
glittered. "You get out your note book," he commanded. "You
carry a little pad of paper in your pocket, don't you? I knew you did. Well,
you set this down. I thought of it the other day. Let's take decay. Now what is
decay? It's fire. It burns up wood and other things. You never thought of that?
Of course not. This sidewalk here and this feed store, the trees down the
street there--they're all on fire. They're burning up. Decay you see is always
going on. It doesn't stop. Water and paint can't stop it. If a thing is iron,
then what? It rusts, you see. That's fire, too. The world is on fire. Start
your pieces in the paper that way. Just say in big letters 'The World Is On
Fire.' That will make 'em look up. They'll say you're a smart one. I don't
care. I don't envy you. I just snatched that idea out of the air. I would make
a newspaper hum. You got to admit that."'
Turning quickly, Joe
Welling walked rapidly away. When he had taken several steps he stopped and
looked back. "I'm going to stick to you," he said. "I'm going to
make you a regular hummer. I should start a newspaper myself, that's what I
should do. I'd be a marvel. Everybody knows that."
When George Willard had
been for a year on the Winesburg Eagle, four things happened to Joe Welling.
His mother died, he came to live at the New Willard House, he became involved
in a love affair, and he organized the Winesburg Baseball Club.
Joe organized the
baseball club because he wanted to be a coach and in that position he began to
win the respect of his townsmen. "He is a wonder," they declared
after Joe's team had whipped the team from Medina County. "He gets
everybody working together. You just watch him."
Upon the baseball field
Joe Welling stood by first base, his whole body quivering with excitement. In
spite of themselves all the players watched him closely. The opposing pitcher
became confused.
"Now! Now! Now!
Now!" shouted the excited man. "Watch me! Watch me! Watch my fingers!
Watch my hands! Watch my feet! Watch my eyes! Let's work together here! Watch
me! In me you see all the movements of the game! Work with me! Work with me!
Watch me! Watch me! Watch me!"
With runners of the
Winesburg team on bases, Joe Welling became as one inspired. Before they knew
what had come over them, the base runners were watching the man, edging off the
bases, advancing, retreating, held as by an invisible cord. The players of the
opposing team also watched Joe. They were fascinated. For a moment they watched
and then, as though to break a spell that hung over them, they began hurling
the ball wildly about, and amid a series of fierce animal-like cries from the
coach, the runners of the Winesburg team scampered home.
Joe Welling's love
affair set the town of Winesburg on edge. When it began everyone whispered and
shook his head. When people tried to laugh, the laughter was forced and
unnatural. Joe fell in love with Sarah King, a lean, sad-looking woman who
lived with her father and brother in a brick house that stood opposite the gate
leading to the Winesburg Cemetery.
The two Kings, Edward
the father, and Tom the son, were not popular in Winesburg. They were called
proud and dangerous. They had come to Winesburg from some place in the South
and ran a cider mill on the Trunion Pike. Tom King was reported to have killed
a man before he came to Winesburg. He was twenty-seven years old and rode about
town on a grey pony. Also he had a long yellow mustache that dropped down over
his teeth, and always carried a heavy, wicked-looking walking stick in his
hand. Once he killed a dog with the stick. The dog belonged to Win Pawsey, the
shoe merchant, and stood on the sidewalk wagging its tail. Tom King killed it with
one blow. He was arrested and paid a fine of ten dollars.
Old Edward King was
small of stature and when he passed people in the street laughed a queer
unmirthful laugh. When he laughed he scratched his left elbow with his right
hand. The sleeve of his coat was almost worn through from the habit. As he
walked along the street, looking nervously about and laughing, he seemed more
dangerous than his silent, fierce-looking son.
When Sarah King began
walking out in the evening with Joe Welling, people shook their heads in alarm.
She was tall and pale and had dark rings under her eyes. The couple looked
ridiculous together. Under the trees they walked and Joe talked. His passionate
eager protestations of love, heard coming out of the darkness by the cemetery
wall, or from the deep shadows of the trees on the hill that ran up to the Fair
Grounds from Waterworks Pond, were repeated in the stores. Men stood by the bar
in the New Willard House laughing and talking of Joe's courtship. After the
laughter came the silence. The Winesburg baseball team, under his management,
was winning game after game, and the town had begun to respect him. Sensing a
tragedy, they waited, laughing nervously.
Late on a Saturday
afternoon the meeting between Joe Welling and the two Kings, the anticipation
of which had set the town on edge, took place in Joe Welling's room in the New
Willard House. George Willard was a witness to the meeting. It came about in
this way:
When the young reporter
went to his room after the evening meal he saw Tom King and his father sitting
in the half darkness in Joe's room. The son had the heavy walking stick in his
hand and sat near the door. Old Edward King walked nervously about, scratching
his left elbow with his right hand. The hallways were empty and silent.
George Willard went to
his own room and sat down at his desk. He tried to write but his hand trembled
so that he could not hold the pen. He also walked nervously up and down. Like
the rest of the town of Winesburg he was perplexed and knew not what to do.
It was seven-thirty and
fast growing dark when Joe Welling came along the station platform toward the
New Willard House. In his arms he held a bundle of weeds and grasses. In spite
of the terror that made his body shake, George Willard was amused at the sight
of the small spry figure holding the grasses and half running along the
platform.
Shaking with fright and
anxiety, the young reporter lurked in the hallway outside the door of the room
in which Joe Welling talked to the two Kings. There had been an oath, the
nervous giggle of old Edward King, and then silence. Now the voice of Joe
Welling, sharp and clear, broke forth. George Willard began to laugh. He
understood. As he had swept all men before him, so now Joe Welling was carrying
the two men in the room off their feet with a tidal wave of words. The listener
in the hall walked up and down, lost in amazement.
Inside the room Joe
Welling had paid no attention to the grumbled threat of Tom King. Absorbed in
an idea he closed the door and, lighting a lamp, spread the handful of weeds
and grasses upon the floor. "I've got something here," he announced
solemnly. "I was going to tell George Willard about it, let him make a
piece out of it for the paper. I'm glad you're here. I wish Sarah were here
also. I've been going to come to your house and tell you of some of my ideas.
They're interesting. Sarah wouldn't let me. She said we'd quarrel. That's
foolish."
Running up and down
before the two perplexed men, Joe Welling began to explain. "Don't you
make a mistake now," he cried. "This is something big." His
voice was shrill with excitement. "You just follow me, you'll be
interested. I know you will. Suppose this--suppose all of the wheat, the corn,
the oats, the peas, the potatoes, were all by some miracle swept away. Now here
we are, you see, in this county. There is a high fence built all around us.
We'll suppose that. No one can get over the fence and all the fruits of the
earth are destroyed, nothing left but these wild things, these grasses. Would
we be done for? I ask you that. Would we be done for?" Again Tom King
growled and for a moment there was silence in the room. Then again Joe plunged
into the exposition of his idea. "Things would go hard for a time. I admit
that. I've got to admit that. No getting around it. We'd be hard put to it.
More than one fat stomach would cave in. But they couldn't down us. I should
say not."
Tom King laughed good
naturedly and the shivery, nervous laugh of Edward King rang through the house.
Joe Welling hurried on. "We'd begin, you see, to breed up new vegetables
and fruits. Soon we'd regain all we had lost. Mind, I don't say the new things
would be the same as the old. They wouldn't. Maybe they'd be better, maybe not
so good. That's interesting, eh? You can think about that. It starts your mind
working, now don't it?"
In the room there was
silence and then again old Edward King laughed nervously. "Say, I wish
Sarah was here," cried Joe Welling. "Let's go up to your house. I
want to tell her of this."
There was a scraping of
chairs in the room. It was then that George Willard retreated to his own room.
Leaning out at the window he saw Joe Welling going along the street with the
two Kings. Tom King was forced to take extraordinary long strides to keep pace
with the little man. As he strode along, he leaned over, listening--absorbed,
fascinated. Joe Welling again talked excitedly. "Take milkweed now,"
he cried. "A lot might be done with milk- weed, eh? It's almost
unbelievable. I want you to think about it. I want you two to think about it.
There would be a new vegetable kingdom you see. It's interesting, eh? It's an
idea. Wait till you see Sarah, she'll get the idea. She'll be interested. Sarah
is always interested in ideas. You can't be too smart for Sarah, now can you?
Of course you can't. You know that."
ALICE HINDMAN, a woman
of twenty-seven when George Willard was a mere boy, had lived in Winesburg all
her life. She clerked in Winney's Dry Goods Store and lived with her mother,
who had married a second husband.
Alice's step-father was
a carriage painter, and given to drink. His story is an odd one. It will be
worth telling some day.
At twenty-seven Alice
was tall and somewhat slight. Her head was large and overshadowed her body. Her
shoulders were a little stooped and her hair and eyes brown. She was very quiet
but beneath a placid exterior a continual ferment went on.
When she was a girl of
sixteen and before she began to work in the store, Alice had an affair with a
young man. The young man, named Ned Currie, was older than Alice. He, like
George Willard, was employed on the Winesburg Eagle and for a long time he went
to see Alice almost every evening. Together the two walked under the trees
through the streets of the town and talked of what they would do with their
lives. Alice was then a very pretty girl and Ned Currie took her into his arms
and kissed her. He became excited and said things he did not intend to say and
Alice, betrayed by her desire to have something beautiful come into her rather
narrow life, also grew excited. She also talked. The outer crust of her life,
all of her natural diffidence and reserve, was tom away and she gave herself
over to the emotions of love. When, late in the fall of her sixteenth year, Ned
Currie went away to Cleveland where he hoped to get a place on a city newspaper
and rise in the world, she wanted to go with him. With a trembling voice she
told him what was in her mind. "I will work and you can work," she
said. "I do not want to harness you to a needless expense that will
prevent your making progress. Don't marry me now. We will get along without
that and we can be together. Even though we live in the same house no one will
say anything. In the city we will be unknown and people will pay no attention
to us."
Ned Currie was puzzled
by the determination and abandon of his sweetheart and was also deeply touched.
He had wanted the girl to become his mistress but changed his mind. He wanted
to protect and care for her. "You don't know what you're talking
about," he said sharply; "you may be sure I'll let you do no such
thing. As soon as I get a good job I'll come back. For the present you'll have
to stay here. It's the only thing we can do."
On the evening before
he left Winesburg to take up his new life in the city, Ned Currie went to call
on Alice. They walked about through the streets for an hour and then got a rig
from Wesley Moyer's livery and went for a drive in the country. The moon came
up and they found themselves unable to talk. In his sadness the young man
forgot the resolutions he had made regarding his conduct with the girl.
They got out of the
buggy at a place where a long meadow ran down to the bank of Wine Creek and
there in the dim light became lovers. When at midnight they returned to town
they were both glad. It did not seem to them that anything that could happen in
the future could blot out the wonder and beauty of the thing that had happened.
"Now we will have to stick to each other, whatever happens we will have to
do that," Ned Currie said as he left the girl at her father's door.
The young newspaper man
did not succeed in getting a place on a Cleveland paper and went west to
Chicago. For a time he was lonely and wrote to Alice almost every day. Then he
was caught up by the life of the city; he began to make friends and found new
interests in life. In Chicago he boarded at a house where there were several
women. One of them attracted his attention and he forgot Alice in Winesburg. At
the end of a year he had stopped writing letters, and only once in a long time,
when he was lonely or when he went into one of the city parks and saw the moon
shining on the grass as it had shone that night on the meadow by Wine Creek,
did he think of her at all.
In Winesburg the girl
who had been loved grew to be a woman. When she was twenty-two years old her
father, who owned a harness repair shop, died suddenly. The harness maker was
an old soldier, and after a few months his wife received a widow's pension. She
used the first money she got to buy a loom and became a weaver of carpets, and
Alice got a place in Winney's store. For a number of years nothing could have
induced her to believe that Ned Currie would not in the end return to her.
She was glad to be
employed because the daily round of toil in the store made the time of waiting
seem less long and uninteresting. She began to save money, thinking that when
she had saved two or three hundred dollars she would follow her lover to the
city and try if her presence would not win back his affections.
Alice did not blame Ned
Currie for what had happened in the moonlight in the field, but felt that she
could never marry another man. To her the thought of giving to another what she
still felt could belong only to Ned seemed monstrous. When other young men
tried to attract her attention she would have nothing to do with them. "I
am his wife and shall remain his wife whether he comes back or not," she
whispered to herself, and for all of her willingness to support herself could
not have understood the growing modern idea of a woman's owning herself and
giving and taking for her own ends in life.
Alice worked in the dry
goods store from eight in the morning until six at night and on three evenings
a week went back to the store to stay from seven until nine. As time passed and
she became more and more lonely she began to practice the devices common to
lonely people. When at night she went upstairs into her own room she knelt on
the floor to pray and in her prayers whispered things she wanted to say to her
lover. She became attached to inanimate objects, and because it was her own,
could not bare to have anyone touch the furniture of her room. The trick of
saving money, begun for a purpose, was carried on after the scheme of going to
the city to find Ned Currie had been given up. It became a fixed habit, and
when she needed new clothes she did not get them. Sometimes on rainy afternoons
in the store she got out her bank book and, letting it lie open before her,
spent hours dreaming impossible dreams of saving money enough so that the
interest would support both herself and her future husband.
"Ned always liked
to travel about," she thought. "I'll give him the chance. Some day
when we are married and I can save both his money and my own, we will be rich.
Then we can travel together all over the world."
In the dry goods store
weeks ran into months and months into years as Alice waited and dreamed of her
lover's return. Her employer, a grey old man with false teeth and a thin grey
mustache that drooped down over his mouth, was not given to conversation, and
sometimes, on rainy days and in the winter when a storm raged in Main Street,
long hours passed when no customers came in. Alice arranged and rearranged the
stock. She stood near the front window where she could look down the deserted
street and thought of the evenings when she had walked with Ned Currie and of
what he had said. "We will have to stick to each other now." The words
echoed and re-echoed through the mind of the maturing woman. Tears came into
her eyes. Sometimes when her employer had gone out and she was alone in the
store she put her head on the counter and wept. "Oh, Ned, I am
waiting," she whispered over and over, and all the time the creeping fear
that he would never come back grew stronger within her.
In the spring when the
rains have passed and before the long hot days of summer have come, the country
about Winesburg is delightful. The town lies in the midst of open fields, but
beyond the fields are pleasant patches of woodlands. In the wooded places are
many little cloistered nooks, quiet places where lovers go to sit on Sunday
afternoons. Through the trees they look out across the fields and see farmers
at work about the barns or people driving up and down on the roads. In the town
bells ring and occasionally a train passes, looking like a toy thing in the
distance.
For several years after
Ned Currie went away Alice did not go into the wood with the other young people
on Sunday, but one day after he had been gone for two or three years and when
her loneliness seemed unbearable, she put on her best dress and set out.
Finding a little sheltered place from which she could see the town and a long
stretch of the fields, she sat down. Fear of age and ineffectuality took
possession of her. She could not sit still, and arose. As she stood looking out
over the land something, perhaps the thought of never ceasing life as it
expresses itself in the flow of the seasons, fixed her mind on the passing
years. With a shiver of dread, she realized that for her the beauty and
freshness of youth had passed. For the first time she felt that she had been
cheated. She did not blame Ned Currie and did not know what to blame. Sadness
swept over her. Dropping to her knees, she tried to pray, but instead of
prayers words of protest came to her lips. "It is not going to come to me.
I will never find happiness. Why do I tell myself lies?" she cried, and an
odd sense of relief came with this, her first bold attempt to face the fear
that had become a part of her everyday life.
In the year when Alice
Hindman became twenty- five two things happened to disturb the dull
uneventfulness of her days. Her mother married Bush Milton, the carriage
painter of Winesburg, and she herself became a member of the Winesburg
Methodist Church. Alice joined the church because she had become frightened by
the loneliness of her position in life. Her mother's second marriage had
emphasized her isolation. "I am becoming old and queer. If Ned comes he
will not want me. In the city where he is living men are perpetually young.
There is so much going on that they do not have time to grow old," she
told herself with a grim little smile, and went resolutely about the business
of becoming acquainted with people. Every Thursday evening when the store had
closed she went to a prayer meeting in the basement of the church and on Sunday
evening attended a meeting of an organization called The Epworth League.
When Will Hurley, a
middle-aged man who clerked in a drug store and who also belonged to the
church, offered to walk home with her she did not protest. "Of course I
will not let him make a practice of being with me, but if he comes to see me
once in a long time there can be no harm in that," she told herself, still
determined in her loyalty to Ned Currie.
Without realizing what
was happening, Alice was trying feebly at first, but with growing
determination, to get a new hold upon life. Beside the drug clerk she walked in
silence, but sometimes in the darkness as they went stolidly along she put out
her hand and touched softly the folds of his coat. When he left her at the gate
before her mother's house she did not go indoors, but stood for a moment by the
door. She wanted to call to the drug clerk, to ask him to sit with her in the
darkness on the porch before the house, but was afraid he would not understand.
"It is not him that I want," she told herself; "I want to avoid
being so much alone. If I am not careful I will grow unaccustomed to being with
people."
During the early fall
of her twenty-seventh year a passionate restlessness took possession of Alice.
She could not bear to be in the company of the drug clerk, and when, in the
evening, he came to walk with her she sent him away. Her mind became intensely
active and when, weary from the long hours of standing behind the counter in
the store, she went home and crawled into bed, she could not sleep. With
staring eyes she looked into the darkness. Her imagination, like a child awakened
from long sleep, played about the room. Deep within her there was something
that would not be cheated by phantasies and that demanded some definite answer
from life.
Alice took a pillow
into her arms and held it tightly against her breasts. Getting out of bed, she
arranged a blanket so that in the darkness it looked like a form lying between
the sheets and, kneeling beside the bed, she caressed it, whispering words over
and over, like a refrain. "Why doesn't something happen? Why am I left here
alone?" she muttered. Although she sometimes thought of Ned Currie, she no
longer depended on him. Her desire had grown vague. She did not want Ned Currie
or any other man. She wanted to be loved, to have something answer the call
that was growing louder and louder within her.
And then one night when
it rained Alice had an adventure. It frightened and confused her. She had come
home from the store at nine and found the house empty. Bush Milton had gone off
to town and her mother to the house of a neighbor. Alice went upstairs to her
room and undressed in the darkness. For a moment she stood by the window
hearing the rain beat against the glass and then a strange desire took
possession of her. Without stopping to think of what she intended to do, she
ran downstairs through the dark house and out into the rain. As she stood on
the little grass plot before the house and felt the cold rain on her body a mad
desire to run naked through the streets took possession of her.
She thought that the
rain would have some creative and wonderful effect on her body. Not for years
had she felt so full of youth and courage. She wanted to leap and run, to cry
out, to find some other lonely human and embrace him. On the brick sidewalk
before the house a man stumbled homeward. Alice started to run. A wild,
desperate mood took possession of her. "What do I care who it is. He is
alone, and I will go to him," she thought; and then without stopping to
consider the possible result of her madness, called softly. "Wait!"
she cried. "Don't go away. Whoever you are, you must wait."
The man on the sidewalk
stopped and stood listening. He was an old man and somewhat deaf. Putting his
hand to his mouth, he shouted. "What? What say?" he called.
Alice dropped to the
ground and lay trembling. She was so frightened at the thought of what she had
done that when the man had gone on his way she did not dare get to her feet,
but crawled on hands and knees through the grass to the house. When she got to
her own room she bolted the door and drew her dressing table across the
doorway. Her body shook as with a chill and her hands trembled so that she had
difficulty getting into her night-dress. When she got into bed she buried her
face in the pillow and wept brokenheartedly. "What is the matter with me?
I will do something dreadful if I am not careful," she thought, and
turning her face to the wall, began trying to force herself to face bravely the
fact that many people must live and die alone, even in Winesburg.
IF you have lived in cities
and have walked in the park on a summer afternoon, you have perhaps seen,
blinking in a corner of his iron cage, a huge, grotesque kind of monkey, a
creature with ugly, sagging, hairless skin below his eyes and a bright purple
underbody. This monkey is a true monster. In the completeness of his ugliness
he achieved a kind of perverted beauty. Children stopping before the cage are
fascinated, men turn away with an air of disgust, and women linger for a
moment, trying perhaps to remember which one of their male acquaintances the
thing in some faint way resembles.
Had you been in the
earlier years of your life a citizen of the village of Winesburg, Ohio, there
would have been for you no mystery in regard to the beast in his cage. "It
is like Wash Williams," you would have said. "As he sits in the
corner there, the beast is exactly like old Wash sitting on the grass in the
station yard on a summer evening after he has closed his office for the
night."
Wash Williams, the
telegraph operator of Winesburg, was the ugliest thing in town. His girth was
immense, his neck thin, his legs feeble. He was dirty. Everything about him was
unclean. Even the whites of his eyes looked soiled.
I go too fast. Not
everything about Wash was unclean. He took care of his hands. His fingers were
fat, but there was something sensitive and shapely in the hand that lay on the
table by the instrument in the telegraph office. In his youth Wash Williams had
been called the best telegraph operator in the state, and in spite of his degradement
to the obscure office at Winesburg, he was still proud of his ability.
Wash Williams did not
associate with the men of the town in which he lived. "I'll have nothing
to do with them," he said, looking with bleary eyes at the men who walked
along the station platform past the telegraph office. Up along Main Street he
went in the evening to Ed Griffith's saloon, and after drinking unbelievable
quantities of beer staggered off to his room in the New Willard House and to
his bed for the night.
Wash Williams was a man
of courage. A thing had happened to him that made him hate life, and he hated
it wholeheartedly, with the abandon of a poet. First of all, he hated women.
"Bitches," he called them. His feeling toward men was somewhat different.
He pitied them. "Does not every man let his life be managed for him by
some bitch or another?" he asked.
In Winesburg no
attention was paid to Wash Williams and his hatred of his fellows. Once Mrs.
White, the banker's wife, complained to the telegraph company, saying that the
office in Winesburg was dirty and smelled abominably, but nothing came of her
complaint. Here and there a man respected the operator. Instinctively the man
felt in him a glowing resentment of something he had not the courage to resent.
When Wash walked through the streets such a one had an instinct to pay him
homage, to raise his hat or to bow before him. The superintendent who had
supervision over the telegraph operators on the railroad that went through
Winesburg felt that way. He had put Wash into the obscure office at Winesburg
to avoid discharging him, and he meant to keep him there. When he received the
letter of complaint from the banker's wife, he tore it up and laughed
unpleasantly. For some reason he thought of his own wife as he tore up the
letter.
Wash Williams once had
a wife. When he was still a young man he married a woman at Dayton, Ohio. The
woman was tall and slender and had blue eyes and yellow hair. Wash was himself
a comely youth. He loved the woman with a love as absorbing as the hatred he
later felt for all women.
In all of Winesburg
there was but one person who knew the story of the thing that had made ugly the
person and the character of Wash Williams. He once told the story to George
Willard and the telling of the tale came about in this way:
George Willard went one
evening to walk with Belle Carpenter, a trimmer of women's hats who worked in a
millinery shop kept by Mrs. Kate McHugh. The young man was not in love with the
woman, who, in fact, had a suitor who worked as bartender in Ed Griffith's
saloon, but as they walked about under the trees they occasionally embraced.
The night and their own thoughts had aroused something in them. As they were
returning to Main Street they passed the little lawn beside the railroad
station and saw Wash Williams apparently asleep on the grass beneath a tree. On
the next evening the operator and George Willard walked out together. Down the
railroad they went and sat on a pile of decaying railroad ties beside the
tracks. It was then that the operator told the young reporter his story of
hate.
Perhaps a dozen times
George Willard and the strange, shapeless man who lived at his father's hotel
had been on the point of talking. The young man looked at the hideous, leering
face staring about the hotel dining room and was consumed with curiosity.
Something he saw lurking in the staring eyes told him that the man who had
nothing to say to others had nevertheless something to say to him. On the pile
of railroad ties on the summer evening, he waited expectantly. When the
operator remained silent and seemed to have changed his mind about talking, he
tried to make conversation. "Were you ever married, Mr. Williams?" he
began. "I suppose you were and your wife is dead, is that it?"
Wash Williams spat
forth a succession of vile oaths. "Yes, she is dead," he agreed.
"She is dead as all women are dead. She is a living-dead thing, walking in
the sight of men and making the earth foul by her presence." Staring into
the boy's eyes, the man became purple with rage. "Don't have fool notions
in your head," he commanded. "My wife, she is dead; yes, surely. I
tell you, all women are dead, my mother, your mother, that tall dark woman who
works in the millinery store and with whom I saw you walking about
yesterday--all of them, they are all dead. I tell you there is something rotten
about them. I was married, sure. My wife was dead before she married me, she
was a foul thing come out a woman more foul. She was a thing sent to make life
unbearable to me. I was a fool, do you see, as you are now, and so I married this
woman. I would like to see men a little begin to understand women. They are
sent to prevent men making the world worth while. It is a trick in Nature. Ugh!
They are creeping, crawling, squirming things, they with their soft hands and
their blue eyes. The sight of a woman sickens me. Why I don't kill every woman
I see I don't know."
Half frightened and yet
fascinated by the light burning in the eyes of the hideous old man, George
Willard listened, afire with curiosity. Darkness came on and he leaned forward
trying to see the face of the man who talked. When, in the gathering darkness,
he could no longer see the purple, bloated face and the burning eyes, a curious
fancy came to him. Wash Williams talked in low even tones that made his words
seem the more terrible. In the darkness the young reporter found himself
imagining that he sat on the railroad ties beside a comely young man with black
hair and black shining eyes. There was something almost beautiful in the voice
of Wash Williams, the hideous, telling his story of hate.
The telegraph operator
of Winesburg, sitting in the darkness on the railroad ties, had become a poet.
Hatred had raised him to that elevation. "It is because I saw you kissing
the lips of that Belle Carpenter that I tell you my story," he said.
"What happened to me may next happen to you. I want to put you on your
guard. Already you may be having dreams in your head. I want to destroy
them."
Wash Williams began
telling the story of his married life with the tall blonde girl with the blue
eyes whom he had met when he was a young operator at Dayton, Ohio. Here and
there his story was touched with moments of beauty intermingled with strings of
vile curses. The operator had married the daughter of a dentist who was the
youngest of three sisters. On his marriage day, because of his ability, he was
promoted to a position as dispatcher at an increased salary and sent to an
office at Columbus, Ohio. There he settled down with his young wife and began
buying a house on the installment plan.
The young telegraph
operator was madly in love. With a kind of religious fervor he had managed to
go through the pitfalls of his youth and to remain virginal until after his
marriage. He made for George Willard a picture of his life in the house at
Columbus, Ohio, with the young wife. "in the garden back of our house we
planted vegetables," he said, "you know, peas and corn and such
things. We went to Columbus in early March and as soon as the days became warm
I went to work in the garden. With a spade I turned up the black ground while
she ran about laughing and pretending to be afraid of the worms I uncovered.
Late in April came the planting. In the little paths among the seed beds she
stood holding a paper bag in her hand. The bag was filled with seeds. A few at
a time she handed me the seeds that I might thrust them into the warm, soft
ground."
For a moment there was
a catch in the voice of the man talking in the darkness. "I loved
her," he said. "I don't claim not to be a fool. I love her yet. There
in the dusk in the spring evening I crawled along the black ground to her feet
and groveled before her. I kissed her shoes and the ankles above her shoes.
When the hem of her garment touched my face I trembled. When after two years of
that life I found she had managed to acquire three other lovers who came
regularly to our house when I was away at work, I didn't want to touch them or
her. I just sent her home to her mother and said nothing. There was nothing to
say. I had four hundred dollars in the bank and I gave her that. I didn't ask
her reasons. I didn't say anything. When she had gone I cried like a silly boy.
Pretty soon I had a chance to sell the house and I sent that money to
her."
Wash Williams and
George Willard arose from the pile of railroad ties and walked along the tracks
toward town. The operator finished his tale quickly, breathlessly.
"Her mother sent
for me," he said. "She wrote me a letter and asked me to come to
their house at Dayton. When I got there it was evening about this time."
Wash Williams' voice
rose to a half scream. "I sat in the parlor of that house two hours. Her
mother took me in there and left me. Their house was stylish. They were what is
called respectable people. There were plush chairs and a couch in the room. I
was trembling all over. I hated the men I thought had wronged her. I was sick
of living alone and wanted her back. The longer I waited the more raw and
tender I became. I thought that if she came in and just touched me with her
hand I would perhaps faint away. I ached to forgive and forget."
Wash Williams stopped
and stood staring at George Willard. The boy's body shook as from a chill.
Again the man's voice became soft and low. "She came into the room
naked," he went on. "Her mother did that. While I sat there she was
taking the girl's clothes off, perhaps coaxing her to do it. First I heard
voices at the door that led into a little hallway and then it opened softly.
The girl was ashamed and stood perfectly still staring at the floor. The mother
didn't come into the room. When she had pushed the girl in through the door she
stood in the hallway waiting, hoping we would--well, you see--waiting."
George Willard and the
telegraph operator came into the main street of Winesburg. The lights from the
store windows lay bright and shining on the sidewalks. People moved about
laughing and talking. The young reporter felt ill and weak. In imagination, he
also became old and shapeless. "I didn't get the mother killed," said
Wash Williams, staring up and down the street. "I struck her once with a
chair and then the neighbors came in and took it away. She screamed so loud you
see. I won't ever have a chance to kill her now. She died of a fever a month
after that happened."
THE house in which Seth
Richmond of Winesburg lived with his mother had been at one time the show place
of the town, but when young Seth lived there its glory had become somewhat
dimmed. The huge brick house which Banker White had built on Buckeye Street had
overshadowed it. The Richmond place was in a little valley far out at the end
of Main Street. Farmers coming into town by a dusty road from the south passed
by a grove of walnut trees, skirted the Fair Ground with its high board fence
covered with advertisements, and trotted their horses down through the valley
past the Richmond place into town. As much of the country north and south of
Winesburg was devoted to fruit and berry raising, Seth saw wagon-loads of berry
pickers--boys, girls, and women--going to the fields in the morning and returning
covered with dust in the evening. The chattering crowd, with their rude jokes
cried out from wagon to wagon, sometimes irritated him sharply. He regretted
that he also could not laugh boisterously, shout meaningless jokes and make of
himself a figure in the endless stream of moving, giggling activity that went
up and down the road.
The Richmond house was
built of limestone, and, although it was said in the village to have become run
down, had in reality grown more beautiful with every passing year. Already time
had begun a little to color the stone, lending a golden richness to its surface
and in the evening or on dark days touching the shaded places beneath the eaves
with wavering patches of browns and blacks.
The house had been
built by Seth's grandfather, a stone quarryman, and it, together with the stone
quarries on Lake Erie eighteen miles to the north, had been left to his son,
Clarence Richmond, Seth's father. Clarence Richmond, a quiet passionate man
extraordinarily admired by his neighbors, had been killed in a street fight
with the editor of a newspaper in Toledo, Ohio. The fight concerned the
publication of Clarence Richmond's name coupled with that of a woman school
teacher, and as the dead man had begun the row by firing upon the editor, the
effort to punish the slayer was unsuccessful. After the quarryman's death it
was found that much of the money left to him had been squandered in speculation
and in insecure investments made through the influence of friends.
Left with but a small income,
Virginia Richmond had settled down to a retired life in the village and to the
raising of her son. Although she had been deeply moved by the death of the
husband and father, she did not at all believe the stories concerning him that
ran about after his death. To her mind, the sensitive, boyish man whom all had
instinctively loved, was but an unfortunate, a being too fine for everyday
life. "You'll be hearing all sorts of stories, but you are not to believe
what you hear," she said to her son. "He was a good man, full of
tenderness for everyone, and should not have tried to be a man of affairs. No
matter how much I were to plan and dream of your future, I could not imagine
anything better for you than that you turn out as good a man as your father."
Several years after the
death of her husband, Virginia Richmond had become alarmed at the growing
demands upon her income and had set herself to the task of increasing it. She
had learned stenography and through the influence of her husband's friends got
the position of court stenographer at the county seat. There she went by train
each morning during the sessions of the court, and when no court sat, spent her
days working among the rosebushes in her garden. She was a tall, straight
figure of a woman with a plain face and a great mass of brown hair.
In the relationship
between Seth Richmond and his mother, there was a quality that even at eighteen
had begun to color all of his traffic with men. An almost unhealthy respect for
the youth kept the mother for the most part silent in his presence. When she
did speak sharply to him he had only to look steadily into her eyes to see
dawning there the puzzled look he had already noticed in the eyes of others
when he looked at them.
The truth was that the
son thought with remarkable clearness and the mother did not. She expected from
all people certain conventional reactions to life. A boy was your son, you
scolded him and he trembled and looked at the floor. When you had scolded
enough he wept and all was forgiven. After the weeping and when he had gone to
bed, you crept into his room and kissed him.
Virginia Richmond could
not understand why her son did not do these things. After the severest
reprimand, he did not tremble and look at the floor but instead looked steadily
at her, causing uneasy doubts to invade her mind. As for creeping into his
room-- after Seth had passed his fifteenth year, she would have been half
afraid to do anything of the kind.
Once when he was a boy
of sixteen, Seth in company with two other boys ran away from home. The three
boys climbed into the open door of an empty freight car and rode some forty
miles to a town where a fair was being held. One of the boys had a bottle
filled with a combination of whiskey and blackberry wine, and the three sat
with legs dangling out of the car door drinking from the bottle. Seth's two
companions sang and waved their hands to idlers about the stations of the towns
through which the train passed. They planned raids upon the baskets of farmers
who had come with their families to the fair. "We will five like kings and
won't have to spend a penny to see the fair and horse races," they
declared boastfully.
After the disappearance
of Seth, Virginia Richmond walked up and down the floor of her home filled with
vague alarms. Although on the next day she discovered, through an inquiry made
by the town marshal, on what adventure the boys had gone, she could not quiet
herself. All through the night she lay awake hearing the clock tick and telling
herself that Seth, like his father, would come to a sudden and violent end. So
determined was she that the boy should this time feel the weight of her wrath
that, although she would not allow the marshal to interfere with his adventure,
she got out a pencil and paper and wrote down a series of sharp, stinging
reproofs she intended to pour out upon him. The reproofs she committed to
memory, going about the garden and saying them aloud like an actor memorizing
his part.
And when, at the end of
the week, Seth returned, a little weary and with coal soot in his ears and
about his eyes, she again found herself unable to reprove him. Walking into the
house he hung his cap on a nail by the kitchen door and stood looking steadily
at her. "I wanted to turn back within an hour after we had started,"
he explained. "I didn't know what to do. I knew you would be bothered, but
I knew also that if I didn't go on I would be ashamed of myself. I went through
with the thing for my own good. It was uncomfortable, sleeping on wet straw,
and two drunken Negroes came and slept with us. When I stole a lunch basket out
of a farmer's wagon I couldn't help thinking of his children going all day
without food. I was sick of the whole affair, but I was determined to stick it
out until the other boys were ready to come back."
"I'm glad you did
stick it out," replied the mother, half resentfully, and kissing him upon
the forehead pretended to busy herself with the work about the house.
On a summer evening
Seth Richmond went to the New Willard House to visit his friend, George
Willard. It had rained during the afternoon, but as he walked through Main
Street, the sky had partially cleared and a golden glow lit up the west. Going
around a corner, he turned in at the door of the hotel and began to climb the
stairway leading up to his friend's room. In the hotel office the proprietor
and two traveling men were engaged in a discussion of politics.
On the stairway Seth
stopped and listened to the voices of the men below. They were excited and
talked rapidly. Tom Willard was berating the traveling men. "I am a
Democrat but your talk makes me sick," he said. "You don't understand
McKinley. McKinley and Mark Hanna are friends. It is impossible perhaps for
your mind to grasp that. If anyone tells you that a friendship can be deeper
and bigger and more worth while than dollars and cents, or even more worth
while than state politics, you snicker and laugh."
The landlord was
interrupted by one of the guests, a tall, grey-mustached man who worked for a
wholesale grocery house. "Do you think that I've lived in Cleveland all
these years without knowing Mark Hanna?" he demanded. "Your talk is
piffle. Hanna is after money and nothing else. This McKinley is his tool. He
has McKinley bluffed and don't you forget it."
The young man on the
stairs did not linger to hear the rest of the discussion, but went on up the
stairway and into the little dark hall. Something in the voices of the men
talking in the hotel office started a chain of thoughts in his mind. He was
lonely and had begun to think that loneliness was a part of his character,
something that would always stay with him. Stepping into a side hall he stood
by a window that looked into an alleyway. At the back of his shop stood Abner
Groff, the town baker. His tiny bloodshot eyes looked up and down the alley-
way. In his shop someone called the baker, who pretended not to hear. The baker
had an empty milk bottle in his hand and an angry sullen look in his eyes.
In Winesburg, Seth
Richmond was called the "deep one." "He's like his father,"
men said as he went through the streets. "He'll break out some of these
days. You wait and see."
The talk of the town
and the respect with which men and boys instinctively greeted him, as all men
greet silent people, had affected Seth Richmond's outlook on life and on
himself. He, like most boys, was deeper than boys are given credit for being,
but he was not what the men of the town, and even his mother, thought him to
be. No great underlying purpose lay back of his habitual silence, and he had no
definite plan for his life. When the boys with whom he associated were noisy
and quarrelsome, he stood quietly at one side. With calm eyes he watched the
gesticulating lively figures of his companions. He wasn't particularly
interested in what was going on, and sometimes wondered if he would ever be
particularly interested in anything. Now, as he stood in the half-darkness by
the window watching the baker, he wished that he himself might become
thoroughly stirred by something, even by the fits of sullen anger for which
Baker Groff was noted. "It would be better for me if I could become
excited and wrangle about politics like windy old Tom Willard," he
thought, as he left the window and went again along the hallway to the room
occupied by his friend, George Willard.
George Willard was
older than Seth Richmond, but in the rather odd friendship between the two, it
was he who was forever courting and the younger boy who was being courted. The
paper on which George worked had one policy. It strove to mention by name in
each issue, as many as possible of the inhabitants of the village. Like an
excited dog, George Willard ran here and there, noting on his pad of paper who
had gone on business to the county seat or had returned from a visit to a
neighboring village. All day he wrote little facts upon the pad. "A. P.
Wringlet had received a shipment of straw hats. Ed Byerbaum and Tom Marshall
were in Cleveland Friday. Uncle Tom Sinnings is building a new barn on his
place on the Valley Road."
The idea that George
Willard would some day become a writer had given him a place of distinction in
Winesburg, and to Seth Richmond he talked continually of the matter, "It's
the easiest of all lives to live," he declared, becoming excited and
boastful. "Here and there you go and there is no one to boss you. Though
you are in India or in the South Seas in a boat, you have but to write and
there you are. Wait till I get my name up and then see what fun I shall
have."
In George Willard's
room, which had a window looking down into an alleyway and one that looked
across railroad tracks to Biff Carter's Lunch Room facing the railroad station,
Seth Richmond sat in a chair and looked at the floor. George Willard, who had
been sitting for an hour idly playing with a lead pencil, greeted him
effusively. "I've been trying to write a love story," he explained,
laughing nervously. Lighting a pipe he began walking up and down the room.
"I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to fall in love. I've been sitting
here and thinking it over and I'm going to do it."
As though embarrassed
by his declaration, George went to a window and turning his back to his friend
leaned out. "I know who I'm going to fall in love with," he said
sharply. "It's Helen White. She is the only girl in town with any 'get-up'
to her."
Struck with a new idea,
young Willard turned and walked toward his visitor. "Look here," he
said. "You know Helen White better than I do. I want you to tell her what
I said. You just get to talking to her and say that I'm in love with her. See
what she says to that. See how she takes it, and then you come and tell
me."
Seth Richmond arose and
went toward the door. The words of his comrade irritated him unbearably.
"Well, good-bye," he said briefly.
George was amazed.
Running forward he stood in the darkness trying to look into Seth's face.
"What's the matter? What are you going to do? You stay here and let's
talk," he urged.
A wave of resentment
directed against his friend, the men of the town who were, he thought,
perpetually talking of nothing, and most of all, against his own habit of
silence, made Seth half desperate. "Aw, speak to her yourself," he
burst forth and then, going quickly through the door, slammed it sharply in his
friend's face. "I'm going to find Helen White and talk to her, but not
about him," he muttered.
Seth went down the
stairway and out at the front door of the hotel muttering with wrath. Crossing
a little dusty street and climbing a low iron railing, he went to sit upon the
grass in the station yard. George Willard he thought a profound fool, and he
wished that he had said so more vigorously. Although his acquaintanceship with
Helen White, the banker's daughter, was outwardly but casual, she was often the
subject of his thoughts and he felt that she was something private and personal
to himself. "The busy fool with his love stories," he muttered,
staring back over his shoulder at George Willard's room, "why does he never
tire of his eternal talking."
It was berry harvest
time in Winesburg and upon the station platform men and boys loaded the boxes
of red, fragrant berries into two express cars that stood upon the siding. A
June moon was in the sky, although in the west a storm threatened, and no
street lamps were lighted. In the dim light the figures of the men standing
upon the express truck and pitching the boxes in at the doors of the cars were
but dimly discernible. Upon the iron railing that protected the station lawn
sat other men. Pipes were lighted. Village jokes went back and forth. Away in
the distance a train whistled and the men loading the boxes into the cars
worked with renewed activity.
Seth arose from his
place on the grass and went silently past the men perched upon the railing and
into Main Street. He had come to a resolution. "I'll get out of
here," he told himself. "What good am I here? I'm going to some city
and go to work. I'll tell mother about it tomorrow."
Seth Richmond went
slowly along Main Street, past Wacker's Cigar Store and the Town Hall, and into
Buckeye Street. He was depressed by the thought that he was not a part of the
life in his own town, but the depression did not cut deeply as he did not think
of himself as at fault. In the heavy shadows of a big tree before Doctor
Welling's house, he stopped and stood watching half-witted Turk Smollet, who
was pushing a wheelbarrow in the road. The old man with his absurdly boyish
mind had a dozen long boards on the wheelbarrow, and, as he hurried along the road,
balanced the load with extreme nicety. "Easy there, Turk! Steady now, old
boy!" the old man shouted to himself, and laughed so that the load of
boards rocked dangerously.
Seth knew Turk Smollet,
the half dangerous old wood chopper whose peculiarities added so much of color
to the life of the village. He knew that when Turk got into Main Street he
would become the center of a whirlwind of cries and comments, that in truth the
old man was going far out of his way in order to pass through Main Street and
exhibit his skill in wheeling the boards. "If George Willard were here,
he'd have something to say," thought Seth. "George belongs to this
town. He'd shout at Turk and Turk would shout at him. They'd both be secretly
pleased by what they had said. It's different with me. I don't belong. I'll not
make a fuss about it, but I'm going to get out of here."
Seth stumbled forward
through the half-darkness, feeling himself an outcast in his own town. He began
to pity himself, but a sense of the absurdity of his thoughts made him smile.
In the end he decided that he was simply old beyond his years and not at all a
subject for self-pity. "I'm made to go to work. I may be able to make a
place for myself by steady working, and I might as well be at it," he
decided.
Seth went to the house
of Banker White and stood in the darkness by the front door. On the door hung a
heavy brass knocker, an innovation introduced into the village by Helen White's
mother, who had also organized a women's club for the study of poetry. Seth
raised the knocker and let it fall. Its heavy clatter sounded like a report
from distant guns. "How awkward and foolish I am," he thought.
"If Mrs. White comes to the door, I won't know what to say."
It was Helen White who
came to the door and found Seth standing at the edge of the porch. Blushing
with pleasure, she stepped forward, closing the door softly. "I'm going to
get out of town. I don't know what I'll do, but I'm going to get out of here
and go to work. I think I'll go to Columbus," he said. "Perhaps I'll
get into the State University down there. Anyway, I'm going. I'll tell mother
tonight." He hesitated and looked doubtfully about. "Perhaps you
wouldn't mind coming to walk with me?"
Seth and Helen walked
through the streets beneath the trees. Heavy clouds had drifted across the face
of the moon, and before them in the deep twilight went a man with a short
ladder upon his shoulder. Hurrying forward, the man stopped at the street
crossing and, putting the ladder against the wooden lamp-post, lighted the
village lights so that their way was half lighted, half darkened, by the lamps
and by the deepening shadows cast by the low-branched trees. In the tops of the
trees the wind began to play, disturbing the sleeping birds so that they flew
about calling plaintively. In the lighted space before one of the lamps, two
bats wheeled and circled, pursuing the gathering swarm of night flies.
Since Seth had been a
boy in knee trousers there had been a half expressed intimacy between him and
the maiden who now for the first time walked beside him. For a time she had
been beset with a madness for writing notes which she addressed to Seth. He had
found them concealed in his books at school and one had been given him by a
child met in the street, while several had been delivered through the village
post office.
The notes had been
written in a round, boyish hand and had reflected a mind inflamed by novel
reading. Seth had not answered them, although he had been moved and flattered
by some of the sentences scrawled in pencil upon the stationery of the banker's
wife. Putting them into the pocket of his coat, he went through the street or
stood by the fence in the school yard with something burning at his side. He
thought it fine that he should be thus selected as the favorite of the richest
and most attractive girl in town.
Helen and Seth stopped
by a fence near where a low dark building faced the street. The building had
once been a factory for the making of barrel staves but was now vacant. Across
the street upon the porch of a house a man and woman talked of their childhood,
their voices coming dearly across to the half-embarrassed youth and maiden.
There was the sound of scraping chairs and the man and woman came down the
gravel path to a wooden gate. Standing outside the gate, the man leaned over
and kissed the woman. "For old times' sake," he said and, turning,
walked rapidly away along the sidewalk.
"That's Belle
Turner," whispered Helen, and put her hand boldly into Seth's hand.
"I didn't know she had a fellow. I thought she was too old for that."
Seth laughed uneasily. The hand of the girl was warm and a strange, dizzy
feeling crept over him. Into his mind came a desire to tell her something he
had been determined not to tell. "George Willard's in love with you,"
he said, and in spite of his agitation his voice was low and quiet. "He's
writing a story, and he wants to be in love. He wants to know how it feels. He
wanted me to tell you and see what you said."
Again Helen and Seth
walked in silence. They came to the garden surrounding the old Richmond place
and going through a gap in the hedge sat on a wooden bench beneath a bush.
On the street as he
walked beside the girl new and daring thoughts had come into Seth Richmond's
mind. He began to regret his decision to get out of town. "It would be
something new and altogether delightful to remain and walk often through the
streets with Helen White," he thought. In imagination he saw himself
putting his arm about her waist and feeling her arms clasped tightly about his
neck. One of those odd combinations of events and places made him connect the
idea of love-making with this girl and a spot he had visited some days before.
He had gone on an errand to the house of a farmer who lived on a hillside
beyond the Fair Ground and had returned by a path through a field. At the foot
of the hill below the farmer's house Seth had stopped beneath a sycamore tree
and looked about him. A soft humming noise had greeted his ears. For a moment
he had thought the tree must be the home of a swarm of bees.
And then, looking down,
Seth had seen the bees everywhere all about him in the long grass. He stood in
a mass of weeds that grew waist-high in the field that ran away from the
hillside. The weeds were abloom with tiny purple blossoms and gave forth an
overpowering fragrance. Upon the weeds the bees were gathered in armies,
singing as they worked.
Seth imagined himself
lying on a summer evening, buried deep among the weeds beneath the tree. Beside
him, in the scene built in his fancy, lay Helen White, her hand lying in his
hand. A peculiar reluctance kept him from kissing her lips, but he felt he
might have done that if he wished. Instead, he lay perfectly still, looking at
her and listening to the army of bees that sang the sustained masterful song of
labor above his head.
On the bench in the
garden Seth stirred uneasily. Releasing the hand of the girl, he thrust his
hands into his trouser pockets. A desire to impress the mind of his companion
with the importance of the resolution he had made came over him and he nodded
his head toward the house. "Mother'll make a fuss, I suppose," he
whispered. "She hasn't thought at all about what I'm going to do in life.
She thinks I'm going to stay on here forever just being a boy."
Seth's voice became
charged with boyish earnestness. "You see, I've got to strike out. I've
got to get to work. It's what I'm good for."
Helen White was
impressed. She nodded her head and a feeling of admiration swept over her.
"This is as it should be," she thought. "This boy is not a boy
at all, but a strong, purposeful man." Certain vague desires that had been
invading her body were swept away and she sat up very straight on the bench.
The thunder continued to rumble and flashes of heat lightning lit up the
eastern sky. The garden that had been so mysterious and vast, a place that with
Seth beside her might have become the background for strange and wonderful
adventures, now seemed no more than an ordinary Winesburg back yard, quite
definite and limited in its outlines.
"What will you do
up there?" she whispered.
Seth turned half around
on the bench, striving to see her face in the darkness. He thought her
infinitely more sensible and straightforward than George Willard, and was glad
he had come away from his friend. A feeling of impatience with the town that
had been in his mind returned, and he tried to tell her of it. "Everyone
talks and talks," he began. "I'm sick of it. I'll do something, get
into some kind of work where talk don't count. Maybe I'll just be a mechanic in
a shop. I don't know. I guess I don't care much. I just want to work and keep
quiet. That's all I've got in my mind."
Seth arose from the
bench and put out his hand. He did not want to bring the meeting to an end but
could not think of anything more to say. "It's the last time we'll see
each other," he whispered.
A wave of sentiment
swept over Helen. Putting her hand upon Seth's shoulder, she started to draw
his face down toward her own upturned face. The act was one of pure affection
and cutting regret that some vague adventure that had been present in the
spirit of the night would now never be realized. "I think I'd better be
going along," she said, letting her hand fall heavily to her side. A
thought came to her. "Don't you go with me; I want to be alone," she
said. "You go and talk with your mother. You'd better do that now."
Seth hesitated and, as
he stood waiting, the girl turned and ran away through the hedge. A desire to
run after her came to him, but he only stood staring, perplexed and puzzled by
her action as he had been perplexed and puzzled by all of the life of the town
out of which she had come. Walking slowly toward the house, he stopped in the
shadow of a large tree and looked at his mother sitting by a lighted window
busily sewing. The feeling of loneliness that had visited him earlier in the
evening returned and colored his thoughts of the adventure through which he had
just passed. "Huh!" he exclaimed, turning and staring in the
direction taken by Helen White. "That's how things'll turn out. She'll be
like the rest. I suppose she'll begin now to look at me in a funny way."
He looked at the ground and pondered this thought. "She'll be embarrassed
and feel strange when I'm around," he whispered to himself. "That's
how it'll be. That's how everything'll turn out. When it comes to loving
someone, it won't never be me. It'll be someone else--some fool--someone who
talks a lot--someone like that George Willard."
UNTIL she was seven
years old she lived in an old unpainted house on an unused road that led off
Trunion Pike. Her father gave her but little attention and her mother was dead.
The father spent his time talking and thinking of religion. He proclaimed
himself an agnostic and was so absorbed in destroying the ideas of God that had
crept into the minds of his neighbors that he never saw God manifesting himself
in the little child that, half forgotten, lived here and there on the bounty of
her dead mother's relatives.
A stranger came to
Winesburg and saw in the child what the father did not see. He was a tall,
red-haired young man who was almost always drunk. Sometimes he sat in a chair
before the New Willard House with Tom Hard, the father. As Tom talked,
declaring there could be no God, the stranger smiled and winked at the
bystanders. He and Tom became friends and were much together.
The stranger was the
son of a rich merchant of Cleveland and had come to Winesburg on a mission. He
wanted to cure himself of the habit of drink, and thought that by escaping from
his city associates and living in a rural community he would have a better
chance in the struggle with the appetite that was destroying him.
His sojourn in Winesburg
was not a success. The dullness of the passing hours led to his drinking harder
than ever. But he did succeed in doing something. He gave a name rich with
meaning to Tom Hard's daughter.
One evening when he was
recovering from a long debauch the stranger came reeling along the main street
of the town. Tom Hard sat in a chair before the New Willard House with his
daughter, then a child of five, on his knees. Beside him on the board sidewalk
sat young George Willard. The stranger dropped into a chair beside them. His
body shook and when he tried to talk his voice trembled.
It was late evening and
darkness lay over the town and over the railroad that ran along the foot of a
little incline before the hotel. Somewhere in the distance, off to the west, there
was a prolonged blast from the whistle of a passenger engine. A dog that had
been sleeping in the roadway arose and barked. The stranger began to babble and
made a prophecy concerning the child that lay in the arms of the agnostic.
"I came here to quit
drinking," he said, and tears began to run down his cheeks. He did not
look at Tom Hard, but leaned forward and stared into the darkness as though
seeing a vision. "I ran away to the country to be cured, but I am not
cured. There is a reason." He turned to look at the child who sat up very
straight on her father's knee and returned the look.
The stranger touched
Tom Hard on the arm. "Drink is not the only thing to which I am
addicted," he said. "There is something else. I am a lover and have
not found my thing to love. That is a big point if you know enough to realize
what I mean. It makes my destruction inevitable, you see. There are few who
understand that."
The stranger became
silent and seemed overcome with sadness, but another blast from the whistle of
the passenger engine aroused him. "I have not lost faith. I proclaim that.
I have only been brought to the place where I know my faith will not be
realized," he declared hoarsely. He looked hard at the child and began to
address her, paying no more attention to the father. "There is a woman
coming," he said, and his voice was now sharp and earnest. "I have
missed her, you see. She did not come in my time. You may be the woman. It
would be like fate to let me stand in her presence once, on such an evening as
this, when I have destroyed myself with drink and she is as yet only a
child."
The shoulders of the
stranger shook violently, and when he tried to roll a cigarette the paper fell
from his trembling fingers. He grew angry and scolded. "They think it's
easy to be a woman, to be loved, but I know better," he declared. Again he
turned to the child. "I understand," he cried. "Perhaps of all
men I alone understand."
His glance again
wandered away to the darkened street. "I know about her, although she has
never crossed my path," he said softly. "I know about her struggles
and her defeats. It is because of her defeats that she is to me the lovely one.
Out of her defeats has been born a new quality in woman. I have a name for it.
I call it Tandy. I made up the name when I was a true dreamer and before my
body became vile. It is the quality of being strong to be loved. It is
something men need from women and that they do not get. "
The stranger arose and
stood before Tom Hard. His body rocked back and forth and he seemed about to
fall, but instead he dropped to his knees on the sidewalk and raised the hands
of the little girl to his drunken lips. He kissed them ecstatically. "Be
Tandy, little one," he pleaded. "Dare to be strong and courageous.
That is the road. Venture anything. Be brave enough to dare to be loved. Be
something more than man or woman. Be Tandy."
The stranger arose and
staggered off down the street. A day or two later he got aboard a train and
returned to his home in Cleveland. On the summer evening, after the talk before
the hotel, Tom Hard took the girl child to the house of a relative where she
had been invited to spend the night. As he went along in the darkness under the
trees he forgot the babbling voice of the stranger and his mind returned to the
making of arguments by which he might destroy men's faith in God. He spoke his
daughter's name and she began to weep.
"I don't want to
be called that," she declared. "I want to be called Tandy--Tandy
Hard." The child wept so bitterly that Tom Hard was touched and tried to
comfort her. He stopped beneath a tree and, taking her into his arms, began to
caress her. "Be good, now," he said sharply; but she would not be
quieted. With childish abandon she gave herself over to grief, her voice breaking
the evening stillness of the street. "I want to be Tandy. I want to be
Tandy. I want to be Tandy Hard," she cried, shaking her head and sobbing
as though her young strength were not enough to bear the vision the words of
the drunkard had brought to her.
THE reverend Curtis
Hartman was pastor of the Presbyterian Church of Winesburg, and had been in
that position ten years. He was forty years old, and by his nature very silent
and reticent. To preach, standing in the pulpit before the people, was always a
hardship for him and from Wednesday morning until Saturday evening he thought
of nothing but the two sermons that must be preached on Sunday. Early on Sunday
morning he went into a little room called a study in the bell tower of the
church and prayed. In his prayers there was one note that always predominated.
"Give me strength and courage for Thy work, O Lord!" he pleaded,
kneeling on the bare floor and bowing his head in the presence of the task that
lay before him.
The Reverend Hartman
was a tall man with a brown beard. His wife, a stout, nervous woman, was the
daughter of a manufacturer of underwear at Cleveland, Ohio. The minister
himself was rather a favorite in the town. The elders of the church liked him
because he was quiet and unpretentious and Mrs. White, the banker's wife,
thought him scholarly and refined.
The Presbyterian Church
held itself somewhat aloof from the other churches of Winesburg. It was larger
and more imposing and its minister was better paid. He even had a carriage of
his own and on summer evenings sometimes drove about town with his wife.
Through Main Street and up and down Buckeye Street he went, bowing gravely to
the people, while his wife, afire with secret pride, looked at him out of the
corners of her eyes and worried lest the horse become frightened and run away.
For a good many years
after he came to Winesburg things went well with Curtis Hartman. He was not one
to arouse keen enthusiasm among the worshippers in his church but on the other
hand he made no enemies. In reality he was much in earnest and sometimes
suffered prolonged periods of remorse because he could not go crying the word
of God in the highways and byways of the town. He wondered if the flame of the
spirit really burned in him and dreamed of a day when a strong sweet new
current of power would come like a great wind into his voice and his soul and
the people would tremble before the spirit of God made manifest in him. "I
am a poor stick and that will never really happen to me," he mused
dejectedly, and then a patient smile lit up his features. "Oh well, I
suppose I'm doing well enough," he added philosophically.
The room in the bell
tower of the church, where on Sunday mornings the minister prayed for an
increase in him of the power of God, had but one window. It was long and narrow
and swung outward on a hinge like a door. On the window, made of little leaded
panes, was a design showing the Christ laying his hand upon the head of a
child. One Sunday morning in the summer as he sat by his desk in the room with
a large Bible opened before him, and the sheets of his sermon scattered about,
the minister was shocked to see, in the upper room of the house next door, a
woman lying in her bed and smoking a cigarette while she read a book. Curtis
Hartman went on tiptoe to the window and closed it softly. He was horror
stricken at the thought of a woman smoking and trembled also to think that his
eyes, just raised from the pages of the book of God, had looked upon the bare
shoulders and white throat of a woman. With his brain in a whirl he went down
into the pulpit and preached a long sermon without once thinking of his
gestures or his voice. The sermon attracted unusual attention because of its
power and clearness. "I wonder if she is listening, if my voice is
carrying a message into her soul," he thought and began to hope that on
future Sunday mornings he might be able to say words that would touch and
awaken the woman apparently far gone in secret sin.
The house next door to
the Presbyterian Church, through the windows of which the minister had seen the
sight that had so upset him, was occupied by two women. Aunt Elizabeth Swift, a
grey competent-looking widow with money in the Winesburg National Bank, lived
there with her daughter Kate Swift, a school teacher. The school teacher was
thirty years old and had a neat trim-looking figure. She had few friends and
bore a reputation of having a sharp tongue. When he began to think about her,
Curtis Hartman remembered that she had been to Europe and had lived for two
years in New York City. "Perhaps after all her smoking means
nothing," he thought. He began to remember that when he was a student in
college and occasionally read novels, good although somewhat worldly women, had
smoked through the pages of a book that had once fallen into his hands. With a
rush of new determination he worked on his sermons all through the week and
forgot, in his zeal to reach the ears and the soul of this new listener, both
his embarrassment in the pulpit and the necessity of prayer in the study on
Sunday mornings.
Reverend Hartman's
experience with women had been somewhat limited. He was the son of a wagon
maker from Muncie, Indiana, and had worked his way through college. The
daughter of the underwear manufacturer had boarded in a house where he lived
during his school days and he had married her after a formal and prolonged
courtship, carried on for the most part by the girl herself. On his marriage
day the underwear manufacturer had given his daughter five thousand dollars and
he promised to leave her at least twice that amount in his will. The minister
had thought himself fortunate in marriage and had never permitted himself to
think of other women. He did not want to think of other women. What he wanted
was to do the work of God quietly and earnestly.
In the soul of the
minister a struggle awoke. From wanting to reach the ears of Kate Swift, and
through his sermons to delve into her soul, he began to want also to look again
at the figure lying white and quiet in the bed. On a Sunday morning when he could
not sleep because of his thoughts he arose and went to walk in the streets.
When he had gone along Main Street almost to the old Richmond place he stopped
and picking up a stone rushed off to the room in the bell tower. With the stone
he broke out a corner of the window and then locked the door and sat down at
the desk before the open Bible to wait. When the shade of the window to Kate
Swift's room was raised he could see, through the hole, directly into her bed,
but she was not there. She also had arisen and had gone for a walk and the hand
that raised the shade was the hand of Aunt Elizabeth Swift.
The minister almost
wept with joy at this deliverance from the carnal desire to "peep"
and went back to his own house praising God. In an ill moment he forgot,
however, to stop the hole in the window. The piece of glass broken out at the
corner of the window just nipped off the bare heel of the boy standing
motionless and looking with rapt eyes into the face of the Christ.
Curtis Hartman forgot
his sermon on that Sunday morning. He talked to his congregation and in his
talk said that it was a mistake for people to think of their minister as a man
set aside and intended by nature to lead a blameless life. "Out of my own
experience I know that we, who are the ministers of God's word, are beset by
the same temptations that assail you," he declared. "I have been
tempted and have surrendered to temptation. It is only the hand of God, placed
beneath my head, that has raised me up. As he has raised me so also will he
raise you. Do not despair. In your hour of sin raise your eyes to the skies and
you will be again and again saved."
Resolutely the minister
put the thoughts of the woman in the bed out of his mind and began to be
something like a lover in the presence of his wife. One evening when they drove
out together he turned the horse out of Buckeye Street and in the darkness on
Gospel Hill, above Waterworks Pond, put his arm about Sarah Hartman's waist.
When he had eaten breakfast in the morning and was ready to retire to his study
at the back of his house he went around the table and kissed his wife on the
cheek. When thoughts of Kate Swift came into his head, he smiled and raised his
eyes to the skies. "Intercede for me, Master," he muttered, "keep
me in the narrow path intent on Thy work."
And now began the real
struggle in the soul of the brown-bearded minister. By chance he discovered
that Kate Swift was in the habit of lying in her bed in the evenings and
reading a book. A lamp stood on a table by the side of the bed and the light
streamed down upon her white shoulders and bare throat. On the evening when he
made the discovery the minister sat at the desk in the dusty room from nine
until after eleven and when her light was put out stumbled out of the church to
spend two more hours walking and praying in the streets. He did not want to
kiss the shoulders and the throat of Kate Swift and had not allowed his mind to
dwell on such thoughts. He did not know what he wanted. "I am God's child
and he must save me from myself," he cried, in the darkness under the
trees as he wandered in the streets. By a tree he stood and looked at the sky
that was covered with hurrying clouds. He began to talk to God intimately and
closely. "Please, Father, do not forget me. Give me power to go tomorrow
and repair the hole in the window. Lift my eyes again to the skies. Stay with
me, Thy servant, in his hour of need."
Up and down through the
silent streets walked the minister and for days and weeks his soul was
troubled. He could not understand the temptation that had come to him nor could
he fathom the reason for its coming. In a way he began to blame God, saying to
himself that he had tried to keep his feet in the true path and had not run
about seeking sin. "Through my days as a young man and all through my life
here I have gone quietly about my work," he declared. "Why now should
I be tempted? What have I done that this burden should be laid on me?"
Three times during the
early fall and winter of that year Curtis Hartman crept out of his house to the
room in the bell tower to sit in the darkness looking at the figure of Kate
Swift lying in her bed and later went to walk and pray in the streets. He could
not understand himself. For weeks he would go along scarcely thinking of the
school teacher and telling himself that he had conquered the carnal desire to
look at her body. And then something would happen. As he sat in the study of
his own house, hard at work on a sermon, he would become nervous and begin to
walk up and down the room. "I will go out into the streets," he told
himself and even as he let himself in at the church door he persistently denied
to himself the cause of his being there. "I will not repair the hole in
the window and I will train myself to come here at night and sit in the
presence of this woman without raising my eyes. I will not be defeated in this
thing. The Lord has devised this temptation as a test of my soul and I will
grope my way out of darkness into the light of righteousness."
One night in January when
it was bitter cold and snow lay deep on the streets of Winesburg Curtis Hartman
paid his last visit to the room in the bell tower of the church. It was past
nine o'clock when he left his own house and he set out so hurriedly that he
forgot to put on his overshoes. In Main Street no one was abroad but Hop
Higgins the night watchman and in the whole town no one was awake but the
watchman and young George Willard, who sat in the office of the Winesburg Eagle
trying to write a story. Along the street to the church went the minister,
plowing through the drifts and thinking that this time he would utterly give
way to sin. "I want to look at the woman and to think of kissing her
shoulders and I am going to let myself think what I choose," he declared
bitterly and tears came into his eyes. He began to think that he would get out
of the ministry and try some other way of life. "I shall go to some city
and get into business," he declared. "If my nature is such that I
cannot resist sin, I shall give myself over to sin. At least I shall not be a
hypocrite, preaching the word of God with my mind thinking of the shoulders and
neck of a woman who does not belong to me."
It was cold in the room
of the bell tower of the church on that January night and almost as soon as he
came into the room Curtis Hartman knew that if he stayed he would be ill. His
feet were wet from tramping in the snow and there was no fire. In the room in
the house next door Kate Swift had not yet appeared. With grim determination
the man sat down to wait. Sitting in the chair and gripping the edge of the
desk on which lay the Bible he stared into the darkness thinking the blackest
thoughts of his life. He thought of his wife and for the moment almost hated
her. "She has always been ashamed of passion and has cheated me," he
thought. "Man has a right to expect living passion and beauty in a woman.
He has no right to forget that he is an animal and in me there is something
that is Greek. I will throw off the woman of my bosom and seek other women. I
will besiege this school teacher. I will fly in the face of all men and if I am
a creature of carnal lusts I will live then for my lusts."
The distracted man
trembled from head to foot, partly from cold, partly from the struggle in which
he was engaged. Hours passed and a fever assailed his body. His throat began to
hurt and his teeth chattered. His feet on the study floor felt like two cakes
of ice. Still he would not give up. "I will see this woman and will think
the thoughts I have never dared to think," he told himself, gripping the
edge of the desk and waiting.
Curtis Hartman came
near dying from the effects of that night of waiting in the church, and also he
found in the thing that happened what he took to be the way of life for him. On
other evenings when he had waited he had not been able to see, through the
little hole in the glass, any part of the school teacher's room except that
occupied by her bed. In the darkness he had waited until the woman suddenly
appeared sitting in the bed in her white night- robe. When the light was turned
up she propped herself up among the' pillows and read a book. Sometimes she
smoked one of the cigarettes. Only her bare shoulders and throat were visible.
On the January night,
after he had come near dying with cold and after his mind had two or three
times actually slipped away into an odd land of fantasy so that he had by an
exercise of will power to force himself back into consciousness, Kate Swift
appeared. In the room next door a lamp was lighted and the waiting man stared
into an empty bed. Then upon the bed before his eyes a naked woman threw
herself. Lying face downward she wept and beat with her fists upon the pillow.
With a final outburst of weeping she half arose, and in the presence of the man
who had waited to look and not to think thoughts the woman of sin began to
pray. In the lamplight her figure, slim and strong, looked like the figure of
the boy in the presence of the Christ on the leaded window.
Curtis Hartman never
remembered how he got out of the church. With a cry he arose, dragging the
heavy desk along the floor. The Bible fell, making a great clatter in the
silence. When the light in the house next door went out he stumbled down the
stairway and into the street. Along the street he went and ran in at the door
of the Winesburg Eagle. To George Willard, who was tramping up and down in the
office undergoing a struggle of his own, he began to talk half incoherently.
"The ways of God are beyond human understanding," he cried, running
in quickly and closing the door. He began to advance upon the young man, his
eyes glowing and his voice ringing with fervor. "I have found the
light," he cried. "After ten years in this town, God has manifested
himself to me in the body of a woman." His voice dropped and he began to
whisper. "I did not understand," he said. "What I took to be a
trial of my soul was only a preparation for a new and more beautiful fervor of
the spirit. God has appeared to me in the person of Kate Swift, the school
teacher, kneeling naked on a bed. Do you know Kate Swift? Although she may not
be aware of it, she is an instrument of God, bearing the message of
truth."
Reverend Curtis Hartman
turned and ran out of the office. At the door he stopped, and after looking up
and down the deserted street, turned again to George Willard. "I am
delivered. Have no fear." He held up a bleeding fist for the young man to
see. "I smashed the glass of the window," he cried. "Now it will
have to be wholly replaced. The strength of God was in me and I broke it with
my fist."
SNOW lay deep in the
streets of Winesburg. It had begun to snow about ten o'clock in the morning and
a wind sprang up and blew the snow in clouds along Main Street. The frozen mud
roads that led into town were fairly smooth and in places ice covered the mud.
"There will be good sleighing," said Will Henderson, standing by the
bar in Ed Griffith's saloon. Out of the saloon he went and met Sylvester West
the druggist stumbling along in the kind of heavy overshoes called arctics.
"Snow will bring the people into town on Saturday," said the
druggist. The two men stopped and discussed their affairs. Will Henderson, who
had on a light overcoat and no overshoes, kicked the heel of his left foot with
the toe of the right. "Snow will be good for the wheat," observed the
druggist sagely.
Young George Willard,
who had nothing to do, was glad because he did not feel like working that day.
The weekly paper had been printed and taken to the post office Wednesday
evening and the snow began to fall on Thursday. At eight o'clock, after the
morning train had passed, he put a pair of skates in his pocket and went up to
Waterworks Pond but did not go skating. Past the pond and along a path that
followed Wine Creek he went until he came to a grove of beech trees. There he
built a fire against the side of a log and sat down at the end of the log to
think. When the snow began to fall and the wind to blow he hurried about
getting fuel for the fire.
The young reporter was
thinking of Kate Swift, who had once been his school teacher. On the evening
before he had gone to her house to get a book she wanted him to read and had
been alone with her for an hour. For the fourth or fifth time the woman had
talked to him with great earnestness and he could not make out what she meant
by her talk. He began to believe she must be in love with him and the thought
was both pleasing and annoying.
Up from the log he
sprang and began to pile sticks on the fire. Looking about to be sure he was
alone he talked aloud pretending he was in the presence of the woman,
"Oh,, you're just letting on, you know you are," he declared. "I
am going to find out about you. You wait and see."
The young man got up
and went back along the path toward town leaving the fire blazing in the wood.
As he went through the streets the skates clanked in his pocket. In his own
room in the New Willard House he built a fire in the stove and lay down on top
of the bed. He began to have lustful thoughts and pulling down the shade of the
window closed his eyes and turned his face to the wall. He took a pillow into
his arms and embraced it thinking first of the school teacher, who by her words
had stirred something within him, and later of Helen White, the slim daughter
of the town banker, with whom he had been for a long time half in love.
By nine o'clock of that
evening snow lay deep in the streets and the weather had become bitter cold. It
was difficult to walk about. The stores were dark and the people had crawled
away to their houses. The evening train from Cleveland was very late but nobody
was interested in its arrival. By ten o'clock all but four of the eighteen
hundred citizens of the town were in bed.
Hop Higgins, the night
watchman, was partially awake. He was lame and carried a heavy stick. On dark
nights he carried a lantern. Between nine and ten o'clock he went his rounds.
Up and down Main Street he stumbled through the drifts trying the doors of the
stores. Then he went into alleyways and tried the back doors. Finding all tight
he hurried around the corner to the New Willard House and beat on the door.
Through the rest of the night he intended to stay by the stove. "You go to
bed. I'll keep the stove going," he said to the boy who slept on a cot in
the hotel office.
Hop Higgins sat down by
the stove and took off his shoes. When the boy had gone to sleep he began to
think of his own affairs. He intended to paint his house in the spring and sat
by the stove calculating the cost of paint and labor. That led him into other
calculations. The night watchman was sixty years old and wanted to retire. He
had been a soldier in the Civil War and drew a small pension. He hoped to find
some new method of making a living and aspired to become a professional breeder
of ferrets. Already he had four of the strangely shaped savage little creatures,
that are used by sportsmen in the pursuit of rabbits, in the cellar of his
house. "Now I have one male and three females," he mused. "If I
am lucky by spring I shall have twelve or fifteen. In another year I shall be
able to begin advertising ferrets for sale in the sporting papers."
The nightwatchman
settled into his chair and his mind became a blank. He did not sleep. By years
of practice he had trained himself to sit for hours through the long nights
neither asleep nor awake. In the morning he was almost as refreshed as though
he had slept.
With Hop Higgins safely
stowed away in the chair behind the stove only three people were awake in
Winesburg. George Willard was in the office of the Eagle pretending to be at
work on the writing of a story but in reality continuing the mood of the
morning by the fire in the wood. In the bell tower of the Presbyterian Church
the Reverend Curtis Hartman was sitting in the darkness preparing himself for a
revelation from God, and Kate Swift, the school teacher, was leaving her house
for a walk in the storm.
It was past ten o'clock
when Kate Swift set out and the walk was unpremeditated. It was as though the
man and the boy, by thinking of her, had driven her forth into the wintry
streets. Aunt Elizabeth Swift had gone to the county seat concerning some
business in connection with mortgages in which she had money invested and would
not be back until the next day. By a huge stove, called a base burner, in the
living room of the house sat the daughter reading a book. Suddenly she sprang
to her feet and, snatching a cloak from a rack by the front door, ran out of
the house.
At the age of thirty
Kate Swift was not known in Winesburg as a pretty woman. Her complexion was not
good and her face was covered with blotches that indicated ill health. Alone in
the night in the winter streets she was lovely. Her back was straight, her
shoulders square, and her features were as the features of a tiny goddess on a
pedestal in a garden in the dim light of a summer evening.
During the afternoon
the school teacher had been to see Doctor Welling concerning her health. The
doctor had scolded her and had declared she was in danger of losing her
hearing. It was foolish for Kate Swift to be abroad in the storm, foolish and
perhaps dangerous.
The woman in the
streets did not remember the words of the doctor and would not have turned back
had she remembered. She was very cold but after walking for five minutes no
longer minded the cold. First she went to the end of her own street and then across
a pair of hay scales set in the ground before a feed barn and into Trunion
Pike. Along Trunion Pike she went to Ned Winters' barn and turning east
followed a street of low frame houses that led over Gospel Hill and into Sucker
Road that ran down a shallow valley past Ike Smead's chicken farm to Waterworks
Pond. As she went along, the bold, excited mood that had driven her out of
doors passed and then returned again.
There was something
biting and forbidding in the character of Kate Swift. Everyone felt it. In the
schoolroom she was silent, cold, and stern, and yet in an odd way very close to
her pupils. Once in a long while something seemed to have come over her and she
was happy. All of the children in the schoolroom felt the effect of her happiness.
For a time they did not work but sat back in their chairs and looked at her.
With hands clasped
behind her back the school teacher walked up and down in the schoolroom and
talked very rapidly. It did not seem to matter what subject came into her mind.
Once she talked to the children of Charles Lamb and made up strange, intimate
little stories concerning the life of the dead writer. The stories were told
with the air of one who had lived in a house with Charles Lamb and knew all the
secrets of his private life. The children were somewhat confused, thinking
Charles Lamb must be someone who had once lived in Winesburg.
On another occasion the
teacher talked to the children of Benvenuto Cellini. That time they laughed.
What a bragging, blustering, brave, lovable fellow she made of the old artist!
Concerning him also she invented anecdotes. There was one of a German music
teacher who had a room above Cellini's lodgings in the city of Milan that made
the boys guffaw. Sugars McNutts, a fat boy with red cheeks, laughed so hard
that he became dizzy and fell off his seat and Kate Swift laughed with him.
Then suddenly she became again cold and stern.
On the winter night
when she walked through the deserted snow-covered streets, a crisis had come
into the life of the school teacher. Although no one in Winesburg would have
suspected it, her life had been very adventurous. It was still adventurous. Day
by day as she worked in the schoolroom or walked in the streets, grief, hope,
and desire fought within her. Behind a cold exterior the most extraordinary
events transpired in her mind. The people of the town thought of her as a
confirmed old maid and because she spoke sharply and went her own way thought
her lacking in all the human feeling that did so much to make and mar their own
lives. In reality she was the most eagerly passionate soul among them, and more
than once, in the five years since she had come back from her travels to settle
in Winesburg and become a school teacher, had been compelled to go out of the house
and walk half through the night fighting out some battle raging within. Once on
a night when it rained she had stayed out six hours and when she came home had
a quarrel with Aunt Elizabeth Swift. "I am glad you're not a man,"
said the mother sharply. "More than once I've waited for your father to
come home, not knowing what new mess he had got into. I've had my share of
uncertainty and you cannot blame me if I do not want to see the worst side of
him reproduced in you."
Kate Swift's mind was
ablaze with thoughts of George Willard. In something he had written as a school
boy she thought she had recognized the spark of genius and wanted to blow on
the spark. One day in the summer she had gone to the Eagle office and finding
the boy unoccupied had taken him out Main Street to the Fair Ground, where the
two sat on a grassy bank and talked. The school teacher tried to bring home to
the mind of the boy some conception of the difficulties he would have to face
as a writer. "You will have to know life," she declared, and her
voice trembled with earnestness. She took hold of George Willard's shoulders
and turned him about so that she could look into his eyes. A passer-by might
have thought them about to embrace. "If you are to become a writer you'll
have to stop fooling with words," she explained. "It would be better
to give up the notion of writing until you are better prepared. Now it's time
to be living. I don't want to frighten you, but I would like to make you
understand the import of what you think of attempting. You must not become a
mere peddler of words. The thing to learn is to know what people are thinking
about, not what they say."
On the evening before
that stormy Thursday night, when the Reverend Curtis Hartman sat in the bell
tower of the church waiting to look at her body, young Willard had gone to
visit the teacher and to borrow a book. It was then the thing happened that
confused and puzzled the boy. He had the book under his arm and was preparing
to depart. Again Kate Swift talked with great earnestness. Night was coming on
and the light in the room grew dim. As he turned to go she spoke his name
softly and with an impulsive movement took hold of his hand. Because the
reporter was rapidly becoming a man something of his man's appeal, combined with
the winsomeness of the boy, stirred the heart of the lonely woman. A passionate
desire to have him understand the import of life, to learn to interpret it
truly and honestly, swept over her. Leaning forward, her lips brushed his
cheek. At the same moment he for the first time became aware of the marked
beauty of her features. They were both embarrassed, and to relieve her feeling
she became harsh and domineering. "What's the use? It will be ten years
before you begin to understand what I mean when I talk to you," she cried
passionately.
On the night of the
storm and while the minister sat in the church waiting for her, Kate Swift went
to the office of the Winesburg Eagle, intending to have another talk with the
boy. After the long walk in the snow she was cold, lonely, and tired. As she
came through Main Street she saw the fight from the printshop window shining on
the snow and on an impulse opened the door and went in. For an hour she sat by
the stove in the office talking of life. She talked with passionate
earnestness. The impulse that had driven her out into the snow poured itself
out into talk. She became inspired as she sometimes did in the presence of the
children in school. A great eagerness to open the door of life to the boy, who
had been her pupil and who she thought might possess a talent for the
understanding of life, had possession of her. So strong was her passion that it
became something physical. Again her hands took hold of his shoulders and she
turned him about. In the dim light her eyes blazed. She arose and laughed, not
sharply as was customary with her, but in a queer, hesitating way. "I must
be going," she said. "In a moment, if I stay, I'll be wanting to kiss
you."
In the newspaper office
a confusion arose. Kate Swift turned and walked to the door. She was a teacher
but she was also a woman. As she looked at George Willard, the passionate
desire to be loved by a man, that had a thousand times before swept like a
storm over her body, took possession of her. In the lamplight George Willard
looked no longer a boy, but a man ready to play the part of a man.
The school teacher let
George Willard take her into his arms. In the warm little office the air became
suddenly heavy and the strength went out of her body. Leaning against a low counter
by the door she waited. When he came and put a hand on her shoulder she turned
and let her body fall heavily against him. For George Willard the confusion was
immediately increased. For a moment he held the body of the woman tightly
against his body and then it stiffened. Two sharp little fists began to beat on
his face. When the school teacher had run away and left him alone, he walked up
and down the office swearing furiously.
It was into this
confusion that the Reverend Curtis Hartman protruded himself. When he came in
George Willard thought the town had gone mad. Shaking a bleeding fist in the
air, the minister proclaimed the woman George had only a moment before held in
his arms an instrument of God bearing a message of truth.
George blew out the
lamp by the window and locking the door of the printshop went home. Through the
hotel office, past Hop Higgins lost in his dream of the raising of ferrets, he
went and up into his own room. The fire in the stove had gone out and he
undressed in the cold. When he got into bed the sheets were like blankets of
dry snow.
George Willard rolled
about in the bed on which had lain in the afternoon hugging the pillow and
thinking thoughts of Kate Swift. The words of the minister, who he thought had
gone suddenly insane, rang in his ears. His eyes stared about the room. The
resentment, natural to the baffled male, passed and he tried to understand what
had happened. He could not make it out. Over and over he turned the matter in
his mind. Hours passed and he began to think it must be time for another day to
come. At four o'clock he pulled the covers up about his neck and tried to
sleep. When he became drowsy and closed his eyes, he raised a hand and with it
groped about in the darkness. "I have missed something. I have missed
something Kate Swift was trying to tell me," he muttered sleepily. Then he
slept and in all Winesburg he was the last soul on that winter night to go to
sleep.
HE was the son of Mrs.
Al Robinson who once owned a farm on a side road leading off Trunion Pike, east
of Winesburg and two miles beyond the town limits. The farmhouse was painted
brown and the blinds to all of the windows facing the road were kept closed. In
the road before the house a flock of chickens, accompanied by two guinea hens,
lay in the deep dust. Enoch lived in the house with his mother in those days
and when he was a young boy went to school at the Winesburg High School. Old
citizens remembered him as a quiet, smiling youth inclined to silence. He
walked in the middle of the road when he came into town and sometimes read a
book. Drivers of teams had to shout and swear to make him realize where he was
so that he would turn out of the beaten track and let them pass.
When he was twenty-one
years old Enoch went to New York City and was a city man for fifteen years. He
studied French and went to an art school, hoping to develop a faculty he had
for drawing. In his own mind he planned to go to Paris and to finish his art
education among the masters there, but that never turned out.
Nothing ever turned out
for Enoch Robinson. He could draw well enough and he had many odd delicate
thoughts hidden away in his brain that might have expressed themselves through
the brush of a painter, but he was always a child and that was a handicap to
his worldly development. He never grew up and of course he couldn't understand
people and he couldn't make people understand him. The child in him kept
bumping against things, against actualities like money and sex and opinions.
Once he was hit by a street car and thrown against an iron post. That made him
lame. It was one of the many things that kept things from turning out for Enoch
Robinson
In New York City, when
he first went there to live and before he became confused and disconcerted by
the facts of life, Enoch went about a good deal with young men. He got into a
group of other young artists, both men and women, and in the evenings they
sometimes came to visit him in his room. Once he got drunk and was taken to a
police station where a police magistrate frightened him horribly, and once he
tried to have an affair with a woman of the town met on the sidewalk before his
lodging house. The woman and Enoch walked together three blocks and then the
young man grew afraid and ran away. The woman had been drinking and the
incident amused her. She leaned against the wall of a building and laughed so
heartily that another man stopped and laughed with her. The two went away
together, still laughing, and Enoch crept off to his room trembling and vexed.
The room in which young
Robinson lived in New York faced Washington Square and was long and narrow like
a hallway. It is important to get that fixed in your mind. The story of Enoch
is in fact the story of a room almost more than it is the story of a man.
And so into the room in
the evening came young Enoch's friends. There was nothing particularly striking
about them except that they were artists of the kind that talk. Everyone knows
of the talking artists. Throughout all of the known history of the world they
have gathered in rooms and talked. They talk of art and are passionately,
almost feverishly, in earnest about it. They think it matters much more than it
does.
And so these people
gathered and smoked cigarettes and talked and Enoch Robinson, the boy from the
farm near Winesburg, was there. He stayed in a corner and for the most part
said nothing. How his big blue childlike eyes stared about! On the walls were
pictures he had made, crude things, half finished. His friends talked of these.
Leaning back in their chairs, they talked and talked with their heads rocking
from side to side. Words were said about line and values and composition, lots
of words, such as are always being said.
Enoch wanted to talk
too but he didn't know how. He was too excited to talk coherently. When he
tried he sputtered and stammered and his voice sounded strange and squeaky to
him. That made him stop talking. He knew what he wanted to say, but he knew
also that he could never by any possibility say it. When a picture he had
painted was under discussion, he wanted to burst out with something like this:
"You don't get the point," he wanted to explain; "the picture
you see doesn't consist of the things you see and say words about. There is
something else, something you don't see at all, something you aren't intended
to see. Look at this one over here, by the door here, where the light from the
window falls on it. The dark spot by the road that you might not notice at all
is, you see, the beginning of everything. There is a clump of elders there such
as used to grow beside the road before our house back in Winesburg, Ohio, and
in among the elders there is something hidden. It is a woman, that's what it
is. She has been thrown from a horse and the horse has run away out of sight.
Do you not see how the old man who drives a cart looks anxiously about? That is
Thad Grayback who has a farm up the road. He is taking corn to Winesburg to be
ground into meal at Comstock's mill. He knows there is something in the elders,
something hidden away, and yet he doesn't quite know.
"It's a woman you
see, that's what it is! It's a woman and, oh, she is lovely! She is hurt and is
suffering but she makes no sound. Don't you see how it is? She lies quite
still, white and still, and the beauty comes out from her and spreads over everything.
It is in the sky back there and all around everywhere. I didn't try to paint
the woman, of course. She is too beautiful to be painted. How dull to talk of
composition and such things! Why do you not look at the sky and then run away
as I used to do when I was a boy back there in Winesburg, Ohio?"
That is the kind of
thing young Enoch Robinson trembled to say to the guests who came into his room
when he was a young fellow in New York City, but he always ended by saying
nothing. Then he began to doubt his own mind. He was afraid the things he felt
were not getting expressed in the pictures he painted. In a half indignant mood
he stopped inviting people into his room and presently got into the habit of
locking the door. He began to think that enough people had visited him, that he
did not need people any more. With quick imagination he began to invent his own
people to whom he could really talk and to whom he explained the things he had
been unable to explain to living people. His room began to be inhabited by the
spirits of men and women among whom he went, in his turn saying words. It was
as though everyone Enoch Robinson had ever seen had left with him some essence
of himself, something he could mould and change to suit his own fancy,
something that understood all about such things as the wounded woman behind the
elders in the pictures.
The mild, blue-eyed
young Ohio boy was a complete egotist, as all children are egotists. He did not
want friends for the quite simple reason that no child wants friends. He wanted
most of all the people of his own mind, people with whom he could really talk,
people he could harangue and scold by the hour, servants, you see, to his
fancy. Among these people he was always self-confident and bold. They might
talk, to be sure, and even have opinions of their own, but always he talked
last and best. He was like a writer busy among the figures of his brain, a kind
of tiny blue-eyed king he was, in a six-dollar room facing Washington Square in
the city of New York.
Then Enoch Robinson got
married. He began to get lonely and to want to touch actual flesh-and- bone
people with his hands. Days passed when his room seemed empty. Lust visited his
body and desire grew in his mind. At night strange fevers, burning within, kept
him awake. He married a girl who sat in a chair next to his own in the art
school and went to live in an apartment house in Brooklyn. Two children were
born to the woman he married, and Enoch got a job in a place where
illustrations are made for advertisements.
That began another
phase of Enoch's life. He began to play at a new game. For a while he was very
proud of himself in the role of producing citizen of the world. He dismissed
the essence of things and played with realities. In the fall he voted at an
election and he had a newspaper thrown on his porch each morning. When in the
evening he came home from work he got off a streetcar and walked sedately along
behind some business man, striving to look very substantial and important. As a
payer of taxes he thought he should post himself on how things are run.
"I'm getting to be of some moment, a real part of things, of the state and
the city and all that," he told himself with an amusing miniature air of
dignity. Once, coming home from Philadelphia, he had a discussion with a man
met on a train. Enoch talked about the advisability of the government's owning
and operating the railroads and the man gave him a cigar. It was Enoch's notion
that such a move on the part of the government would be a good thing, and he grew
quite excited as he talked. Later he remembered his own words with pleasure.
"I gave him something to think about, that fellow," he muttered to
himself as he climbed the stairs to his Brooklyn apartment.
To be sure, Enoch's
marriage did not turn out. He himself brought it to an end. He began to feel
choked and walled in by the life in the apartment, and to feel toward his wife
and even toward his children as he had felt concerning the friends who once
came to visit him. He began to tell little lies about business engagements that
would give him freedom to walk alone in the street at night and, the chance
offering, he secretly re-rented the room facing Washington Square. Then Mrs. Al
Robinson died on the farm near Winesburg, and he got eight thousand dollars
from the bank that acted as trustee of her estate. That took Enoch out of the
world of men altogether. He gave the money to his wife and told her he could
not live in the apartment any more. She cried and was angry and threatened, but
he only stared at her and went his own way. In reality the wife did not care
much. She thought Enoch slightly insane and was a little afraid of him. When it
was quite sure that he would never come back, she took the two children and
went to a village in Connecticut where she had lived as a girl. In the end she
married a man who bought and sold real estate and was contented enough.
And so Enoch Robinson
stayed in the New York room among the people of his fancy, playing with them,
talking to them, happy as a child is happy. They were an odd lot, Enoch's
people. They were made, I suppose, out of real people he had seen and who had
for some obscure reason made an appeal to him. There was a woman with a sword
in her hand, an old man with a long white beard who went about followed by a
dog, a young girl whose stockings were always coming down and hanging over her
shoe tops. There must have been two dozen of the shadow people, invented by the
child-mind of Enoch Robinson, who lived in the room with him.
And Enoch was happy.
Into the room he went and locked the door. With an absurd air of importance he
talked aloud, giving instructions, making comments on life. He was happy and
satisfied to go on making his living in the advertising place until something
happened. Of course something did happen. That is why he went back to live in
Winesburg and why we know about him. The thing that happened was a woman. It
would be that way. He was too happy. Something had to come into his world.
Something had to drive him out of the New York room to live out his life an
obscure, jerky little figure, bobbing up and down on the streets of an Ohio
town at evening when the sun was going down behind the roof of Wesley Moyer's
livery barn.
About the thing that
happened. Enoch told George Willard about it one night. He wanted to talk to
someone, and he chose the young newspaper reporter because the two happened to
be thrown together at a time when the younger man was in a mood to understand.
Youthful sadness, young
man's sadness, the sadness of a growing boy in a village at the year's end,
opened the lips of the old man. The sadness was in the heart of George Willard
and was without meaning, but it appealed to Enoch Robinson.
It rained on the
evening when the two met and talked, a drizzly wet October rain. The fruition
of the year had come and the night should have been fine with a moon in the sky
and the crisp sharp promise of frost in the air, but it wasn't that way. It
rained and little puddles of water shone under the street lamps on Main Street.
In the woods in the darkness beyond the Fair Ground water dripped from the
black trees. Beneath the trees wet leaves were pasted against tree roots that
protruded from the ground. In gardens back of houses in Winesburg dry shriveled
potato vines lay sprawling on the ground. Men who had finished the evening meal
and who had planned to go uptown to talk the evening away with other men at the
back of some store changed their minds. George Willard tramped about in the
rain and was glad that it rained. He felt that way. He was like Enoch Robinson
on the evenings when the old man came down out of his room and wandered alone
in the streets. He was like that only that George Willard had become a tall
young man and did not think it manly to weep and carry on. For a month his
mother had been very ill and that had something to do with his sadness, but not
much. He thought about himself and to the young that always brings sadness.
Enoch Robinson and
George Willard met beneath a wooden awning that extended out over the sidewalk
before Voight's wagon shop on Maumee Street just off the main street of
Winesburg. They went together from there through the rain-washed streets to the
older man's room on the third floor of the Heffner Block. The young reporter
went willingly enough. Enoch Robinson asked him to go after the two had talked
for ten minutes. The boy was a little afraid but had never been more curious in
his life. A hundred times he had heard the old man spoken of as a little off
his head and he thought himself rather brave and manly to go at all. From the
very beginning, in the street in the rain, the old man talked in a queer way,
trying to tell the story of the room in Washington Square and of his life in
the room. "You'll understand if you try hard enough," he said conclusively.
"I have looked at you when you went past me on the street and I think you
can understand. It isn't hard. All you have to do is to believe what I say,
just listen and believe, that's all there is to it."
It was past eleven
o'clock that evening when old Enoch, talking to George Willard in the room in
the Heffner Block, came to the vital thing, the story of the woman and of what
drove him out of the city to live out his life alone and defeated in Winesburg.
He sat on a cot by the window with his head in his hand and George Willard was
in a chair by a table. A kerosene lamp sat on the table and the room, although
almost bare of furniture, was scrupulously clean. As the man talked George
Willard began to feel that he would like to get out of the chair and sit on the
cot also. He wanted to put his arms about the little old man. In the half
darkness the man talked and the boy listened, filled with sadness.
"She got to coming
in there after there hadn't been anyone in the room for years," said Enoch
Robinson. "She saw me in the hallway of the house and we got acquainted. I
don't know just what she did in her own room. I never went there. I think she
was a musician and played a violin. Every now and then she came and knocked at
the door and I opened it. In she came and sat down beside me, just sat and
looked about and said nothing. Anyway, she said nothing that mattered."
The old man arose from
the cot and moved about the room. The overcoat he wore was wet from the rain
and drops of water kept falling with a soft thump on the floor. When he again
sat upon the cot George Willard got out of the chair and sat beside him.
"I had a feeling
about her. She sat there in the room with me and she was too big for the room.
I felt that she was driving everything else away. We just talked of little
things, but I couldn't sit still. I wanted to touch her with my fingers and to
kiss her. Her hands were so strong and her face was so good and she looked at
me all the time."
The trembling voice of
the old man became silent and his body shook as from a chill. "I was
afraid," he whispered. "I was terribly afraid. I didn't want to let
her come in when she knocked at the door but I couldn't sit still. 'No, no,' I
said to myself, but I got up and opened the door just the same. She was so
grown up, you see. She was a woman. I thought she would be bigger than I was
there in that room."
Enoch Robinson stared
at George Willard, his childlike blue eyes shining in the lamplight. Again he
shivered. "I wanted her and all the time I didn't want her," he
explained. "Then I began to tell her about my people, about everything
that meant anything to me. I tried to keep quiet, to keep myself to myself, but
I couldn't. I felt just as I did about opening the door. Sometimes I ached to
have her go away and never come back any more."
The old man sprang to
his feet and his voice shook with excitement. "One night something
happened. I became mad to make her understand me and to know what a big thing I
was in that room. I wanted her to see how important I was. I told her over and
over. When she tried to go away, I ran and locked the door. I followed her
about. I talked and talked and then all of a sudden things went to smash. A
look came into her eyes and I knew she did understand. Maybe she had understood
all the time. I was furious. I couldn't stand it. I wanted her to understand
but, don't you see, I couldn't let her understand. I felt that then she would
know everything, that I would be submerged, drowned out, you see. That's how it
is. I don't know why."
The old man dropped
into a chair by the lamp and the boy listened, filled with awe. "Go away,
boy," said the man. "Don't stay here with me any more. I thought it
might be a good thing to tell you but it isn't. I don't want to talk any more.
Go away."
George Willard shook
his head and a note of command came into his voice. "Don't stop now. Tell
me the rest of it," he commanded sharply. "What happened? Tell me the
rest of the story."
Enoch Robinson sprang
to his feet and ran to the window that looked down into the deserted main
street of Winesburg. George Willard followed. By the window the two stood, the
tall awkward boy- man and the little wrinkled man-boy. The childish, eager
voice carried forward the tale. "I swore at her," he explained.
"I said vile words. I ordered her to go away and not to come back. Oh, I
said terrible things. At first she pretended not to understand but I kept at
it. I screamed and stamped on the floor. I made the house ring with my curses.
I didn't want ever to see her again and I knew, after some of the things I
said, that I never would see her again."
The old man's voice
broke and he shook his head. "Things went to smash," he said quietly
and sadly. "Out she went through the door and all the life there had been
in the room followed her out. She took all of my people away. They all went out
through the door after her. That's the way it was."
George Willard turned
and went out of Enoch Robinson's room. In the darkness by the window, as he
went through the door, he could hear the thin old voice whimpering and
complaining. "I'm alone, all alone here," said the voice. "It
was warm and friendly in my room but now I'm all alone."
BELLE CARPENTER had a
dark skin, grey eyes, and thick lips. She was tall and strong. When black
thoughts visited her she grew angry and wished she were a man and could fight
someone with her fists. She worked in the millinery shop kept by Mrs. Kate
McHugh and during the day sat trimming hats by a window at the rear of the
store. She was the daughter of Henry Carpenter, bookkeeper in the First
National Bank of Winesburg, and lived with him in a gloomy old house far out at
the end of Buckeye Street. The house was surrounded by pine trees and there was
no grass beneath the trees. A rusty tin eaves-trough had slipped from its
fastenings at the back of the house and when the wind blew it beat against the
roof of a small shed, making a dismal drumming noise that sometimes persisted
all through the night.
When she was a young
girl Henry Carpenter made life almost unbearable for Belle, but as she emerged
from girlhood into womanhood he lost his power over her. The bookkeeper's life
was made up of innumerable little pettinesses. When he went to the bank in the
morning he stepped into a closet and put on a black alpaca coat that had become
shabby with age. At night when he returned to his home he donned another black
alpaca coat. Every evening he pressed the clothes worn in the streets. He had
invented an arrangement of boards for the purpose. The trousers to his street
suit were placed between the boards and the boards were clamped together with
heavy screws. In the morning he wiped the boards with a damp cloth and stood
them upright behind the dining room door. If they were moved during the day he
was speechless with anger and did not recover his equilibrium for a week.
The bank cashier was a
little bully and was afraid of his daughter. She, he realized, knew the story
of his brutal treatment of her mother and hated him for it. One day she went
home at noon and carried a handful of soft mud, taken from the road, into the
house. With the mud she smeared the face of the boards used for the pressing of
trousers and then went back to her work feeling relieved and happy.
Belle Carpenter
occasionally walked out in the evening with George Willard. Secretly she loved
another man, but her love affair, about which no one knew, caused her much
anxiety. She was in love with Ed Handby, bartender in Ed Griffith's Saloon, and
went about with the young reporter as a kind of relief to her feelings. She did
not think that her station in life would permit her to be seen in the company
of the bartender and walked about under the trees with George Willard and let
him kiss her to relieve a longing that was very insistent in her nature. She
felt that she could keep the younger man within bounds. About Ed Handby she was
somewhat uncertain.
Handby, the bartender,
was a tall, broad-shouldered man of thirty who lived in a room upstairs above
Griffith's saloon. His fists were large and his eyes unusually small, but his
voice, as though striving to conceal the power back of his fists, was soft and
quiet.
At twenty-five the
bartender had inherited a large farm from an uncle in Indiana. When sold, the
farm brought in eight thousand dollars, which Ed spent in six months. Going to
Sandusky, on Lake Erie, he began an orgy of dissipation, the story of which
afterward filled his home town with awe. Here and there he went throwing the
money about, driving carriages through the streets, giving wine parties to
crowds of men and women, playing cards for high stakes and keeping mistresses
whose wardrobes cost him hundreds of dollars. One night at a resort called
Cedar Point, he got into a fight and ran amuck like a wild thing. With his fist
he broke a large mirror in the wash room of a hotel and later went about
smashing windows and breaking chairs in dance halls for the joy of hearing the
glass rattle on the floor and seeing the terror in the eyes of clerks who had
come from Sandusky to spend the evening at the resort with their sweethearts.
The affair between Ed
Handby and Belle Carpenter on the surface amounted to nothing. He had succeeded
in spending but one evening in her company. On that evening he hired a horse
and buggy at Wesley Moyer's livery barn and took her for a drive. The
conviction that she was the woman his nature demanded and that he must get her
settled upon him and he told her of his desires. The bartender was ready to
marry and to begin trying to earn money for the support of his wife, but so
simple was his nature that he found it difficult to explain his intentions. His
body ached with physical longing and with his body he expressed himself. Taking
the milliner into his arms and holding her tightly in spite of her struggles,
he kissed her until she became helpless. Then he brought her back to town and
let her out of the buggy. "When I get hold of you again I'll not let you
go. You can't play with me," he declared as he turned to drive away. Then,
jumping out of the buggy, he gripped her shoulders with his strong hands.
"I'll keep you for good the next time," he said. "You might as
well make up your mind to that. It's you and me for it and I'm going to have
you before I get through."
One night in January
when there was a new moon George Willard, who was in Ed Handby's mind the only
obstacle to his getting Belle Carpenter, went for a walk. Early that evening
George went into Ransom Surbeck's pool room with Seth Richmond and Art Wilson,
son of the town butcher. Seth Richmond stood with his back against the wall and
remained silent, but George Willard talked. The pool room was filled with
Winesburg boys and they talked of women. The young reporter got into that vein.
He said that women should look out for themselves, that the fellow who went out
with a girl was not responsible for what happened. As he talked he looked
about, eager for attention. He held the floor for five minutes and then Art Wilson
began to talk. Art was learning the barber's trade in Cal Prouse's shop and
already began to consider himself an authority in such matters as baseball,
horse racing, drinking, and going about with women. He began to tell of a night
when he with two men from Winesburg went into a house of prostitution at the
county seat. The butcher's son held a cigar in the side of his mouth and as he
talked spat on the floor. "The women in the place couldn't embarrass me
although they tried hard enough," he boasted. "One of the girls in
the house tried to get fresh, but I fooled her. As soon as she began to talk I
went and sat in her lap. Everyone in the room laughed when I kissed her. I
taught her to let me alone."
George Willard went out
of the pool room and into Main Street. For days the weather had been bitter
cold with a high wind blowing down on the town from Lake Erie, eighteen miles
to the north, but on that night the wind had died away and a new moon made the
night unusually lovely. Without thinking where he was going or what he wanted
to do, George went out of Main Street and began walking in dimly lighted
streets filled with frame houses.
Out of doors under the
black sky filled with stars he forgot his companions of the pool room. Because
it was dark and he was alone he began to talk aloud. In a spirit of play he
reeled along the street imitating a drunken man and then imagined himself a
soldier clad in shining boots that reached to the knees and wearing a sword
that jingled as he walked. As a soldier he pictured himself as an inspector,
passing before a long line of men who stood at attention. He began to examine
the accoutrements of the men. Before a tree he stopped and began to scold.
"Your pack is not in order," he said sharply. "How many times
will I have to speak of this matter? Everything must be in order here. We have
a difficult task before us and no difficult task can be done without
order."
Hypnotized by his own
words, the young man stumbled along the board sidewalk saying more words.
"There is a law for armies and for men too," he muttered, lost in
reflection. "The law begins with little things and spreads out until it
covers everything. In every little thing there must be order, in the place
where men work, in their clothes, in their thoughts. I myself must be orderly.
I must learn that law. I must get myself into touch with something orderly and
big that swings through the night like a star. In my little way I must begin to
learn something, to give and swing and work with life, with the law."
George Willard stopped
by a picket fence near a street lamp and his body began to tremble. He had
never before thought such thoughts as had just come into his head and he
wondered where they had come from. For the moment it seemed to him that some
voice outside of himself had been talking as he walked. He was amazed and
delighted with his own mind and when he walked on again spoke of the matter
with fervor. "To come out of Ransom Surbeck's pool room and think things
like that," he whispered. "It is better to be alone. If I talked like
Art Wilson the boys would understand me but they wouldn't understand what I've
been thinking down here."
In Winesburg, as in all
Ohio towns of twenty years ago, there was a section in which lived day
laborers. As the time of factories had not yet come, the laborers worked in the
fields or were section hands on the railroads. They worked twelve hours a day
and received one dollar for the long day of toil. The houses in which they
lived were small cheaply constructed wooden affairs with a garden at the back.
The more comfortable among them kept cows and perhaps a pig, housed in a little
shed at the rear of the garden.
With his head filled
with resounding thoughts, George Willard walked into such a street on the clear
January night. The street was dimly lighted and in places there was no
sidewalk. In the scene that lay about him there was something that excited his
already aroused fancy. For a year he had been devoting all of his odd moments
to the reading of books and now some tale he had read concerning fife in old
world towns of the middle ages came sharply back to his mind so that he
stumbled forward with the curious feeling of one revisiting a place that had
been a part of some former existence. On an impulse he turned out of the street
and went into a little dark alleyway behind the sheds in which lived the cows
and pigs.
For a half hour he
stayed in the alleyway, smelling the strong smell of animals too closely housed
and letting his mind play with the strange new thoughts that came to him. The
very rankness of the smell of manure in the clear sweet air awoke something
heady in his brain. The poor little houses lighted by kerosene lamps, the smoke
from the chimneys mounting straight up into the clear air, the grunting of pigs,
the women clad in cheap calico dresses and washing dishes in the kitchens, the
footsteps of men coming out of the houses and going off to the stores and
saloons of Main Street, the dogs barking and the children crying--all of these
things made him seem, as he lurked in the darkness, oddly detached and apart
from all life.
The excited young man,
unable to bear the weight of his own thoughts, began to move cautiously along
the alleyway. A dog attacked him and had to be driven away with stones, and a
man appeared at the door of one of the houses and swore at the dog. George went
into a vacant lot and throwing back his head looked up at the sky. He felt
unutterably big and remade by the simple experience through which he had been
passing and in a kind of fervor of emotion put up his hands, thrusting them
into the darkness above his head and muttering words. The desire to say words
overcame him and he said words without meaning, rolling them over on his tongue
and saying them because they were brave words, full of meaning.
"Death," he muttered, night, the sea, fear, loveliness."
George Willard came out
of the vacant lot and stood again on the sidewalk facing the houses. He felt
that all of the people in the little street must be brothers and sisters to him
and he wished he had the courage to call them out of their houses and to shake
their hands. "If there were only a woman here I would take hold of her
hand and we would run until we were both tired out," he thought.
"That would make me feel better." With the thought of a woman in his
mind he walked out of the street and went toward the house where Belle
Carpenter lived. He thought she would understand his mood and that he could
achieve in her presence a position he had long been wanting to achieve. In the
past when he had been with her and had kissed her lips he had come away filled
with anger at himself. He had felt like one being used for some obscure purpose
and had not enjoyed the feeling. Now he thought he had suddenly become too big
to be used.
When George got to
Belle Carpenter's house there had already been a visitor there before him. Ed
Handby had come to the door and calling Belle out of the house had tried to
talk to her. He had wanted to ask the woman to come away with him and to be his
wife, but when she came and stood by the door he lost his self-assurance and
became sullen. "You stay away from that kid," he growled, thinking of
George Willard, and then, not knowing what else to say, turned to go away.
"If I catch you together I will break your bones and his too," he
added. The bartender had come to woo, not to threaten, and was angry with
himself because of his failure.
When her lover had
departed Belle went indoors and ran hurriedly upstairs. From a window at the
upper part of the house she saw Ed Handby cross the street and sit down on a
horse block before the house of a neighbor. In the dim light the man sat
motionless holding his head in his hands. She was made happy by the sight, and
when George Willard came to the door she greeted him effusively and hurriedly
put on her hat. She thought that, as she walked through the streets with young
Willard, Ed Handby would follow and she wanted to make him suffer.
For an hour Belle
Carpenter and the young reporter walked about under the trees in the sweet
night air. George Willard was full of big words. The sense of power that had
come to him during the hour in the darkness in the alleyway remained with him
and he talked boldly, swaggering along and swinging his arms about. He wanted
to make Belle Carpenter realize that he was aware of his former weakness and
that he had changed. "You'll find me different," he declared,
thrusting his hands into his pockets and looking boldly into her eyes. "I
don't know why but it is so. You've got to take me for a man or let me alone.
That's how it is."
Up and down the quiet
streets under the new moon went the woman and the boy. When George had finished
talking they turned down a side street and went across a bridge into a path
that ran up the side of a hill. The hill began at Waterworks Pond and climbed
upward to the Winesburg Fair Grounds. On the hillside grew dense bushes and
small trees and among the bushes were little open spaces carpeted with long
grass, now stiff and frozen.
As he walked behind the
woman up the hill George Willard's heart began to beat rapidly and his
shoulders straightened. Suddenly he decided that Belle Carpenter was about to
surrender herself to him. The new force that had manifested itself in him had,
he felt, been at work upon her and had led to her conquest. The thought made
him half drunk with the sense of masculine power. Although he had been annoyed
that as they walked about she had not seemed to be listening to his words, the
fact that she had accompanied him to this place took all his doubts away.
"It is different. Everything has become different," he thought and
taking hold of her shoulder turned her about and stood looking at her, his eyes
shining with pride.
Belle Carpenter did not
resist. When he kissed her upon the lips she leaned heavily against him and
looked over his shoulder into the darkness. In her whole attitude there was a
suggestion of waiting. Again, as in the alleyway, George Willard's mind ran off
into words and, holding the woman tightly he whispered the words into the still
night. "Lust," he whispered, "lust and night and women."
George Willard did not
understand what happened to him that night on the hillside. Later, when he got
to his own room, he wanted to weep and then grew half insane with anger and
hate. He hated Belle Carpenter and was sure that all his life he would continue
to hate her. On the hillside he had led the woman to one of the little open
spaces among the bushes and had dropped to his knees beside her. As in the
vacant lot, by the laborers' houses, he had put up his hands in gratitude for
the new power in himself and was waiting for the woman to speak when Ed Handby
appeared.
The bartender did not
want to beat the boy, who he thought had tried to take his woman away. He knew
that beating was unnecessary, that he had power within himself to accomplish
his purpose without using his fists. Gripping George by the shoulder and
pulling him to his feet, he held him with one hand while he looked at Belle
Carpenter seated on the grass. Then with a quick wide movement of his arm he
sent the younger man sprawling away into the bushes and began to bully the
woman, who had risen to her feet. "You're no good," he said roughly.
"I've half a mind not to bother with you. I'd let you alone if I didn't
want you so much."
On his hands and knees
in the bushes George Willard stared at the scene before him and tried hard to
think. He prepared to spring at the man who had humiliated him. To be beaten
seemed to be infinitely better than to be thus hurled ignominiously aside.
Three times the young
reporter sprang at Ed Handby and each time the bartender, catching him by the
shoulder, hurled him back into the bushes. The older man seemed prepared to
keep the exercise going indefinitely but George Willard's head struck the root
of a tree and he lay still. Then Ed Handby took Belle Carpenter by the arm and
marched her away.
George heard the man
and woman making their way through the bushes. As he crept down the hill-side
his heart was sick within him. He hated himself and he hated the fate that had
brought about his humiliation. When his mind went back to the hour alone in the
alleyway he was puzzled and stopping in the darkness listened, hoping to hear
again the voice outside himself that had so short a time before put new courage
into his heart. When his way homeward led him again into the street of frame
houses he could not bear the sight and began to run, wanting to get quickly out
of the neighborhood that now seemed to him utterly squalid and commonplace.
FROM his seat on a box
in the rough board shed that stuck like a burr on the rear of Cowley &
Son's store in Winesburg, Elmer Cowley, the junior member of the firm, could
see through a dirty window into the printshop of the Winesburg Eagle. Elmer was
putting new shoelaces in his shoes. They did not go in readily and he had to
take the shoes off. With the shoes in his hand he sat looking at a large hole
in the heel of one of his stockings. Then looking quickly up he saw George
Willard, the only newspaper reporter in Winesburg, standing at the back door of
the Eagle printshop and staring absentmindedly about. "Well, well, what
next!" exclaimed the young man with the shoes in his hand, jumping to his
feet and creeping away from the window.
A flush crept into
Elmer Cowley's face and his hands began to tremble. In Cowley & Son's store
a Jewish traveling salesman stood by the counter talking to his father. He
imagined the reporter could hear what was being said and the thought made him
furious. With one of the shoes still held in his hand he stood in a corner of
the shed and stamped with a stockinged foot upon the board floor.
Cowley & Son's
store did not face the main street of Winesburg. The front was on Maumee Street
and beyond it was Voight's wagon shop and a shed for the sheltering of farmers'
horses. Beside the store an alleyway ran behind the main street stores and all
day drays and delivery wagons, intent on bringing in and taking out goods, passed
up and down. The store itself was indescribable. Will Henderson once said of it
that it sold everything and nothing. In the window facing Maumee Street stood a
chunk of coal as large as an apple barrel, to indicate that orders for coal
were taken, and beside the black mass of the coal stood three combs of honey
grown brown and dirty in their wooden frames.
The honey had stood in
the store window for six months. It was for sale as were also the coat hangers,
patent suspender buttons, cans of roof paint, bottles of rheumatism cure, and a
substitute for coffee that companioned the honey in its patient willingness to
serve the public.
Ebenezer Cowley, the
man who stood in the store listening to the eager patter of words that fell
from the lips of the traveling man, was tall and lean and looked unwashed. On
his scrawny neck was a large wen partially covered by a grey beard. He wore a
long Prince Albert coat. The coat had been purchased to serve as a wedding
garment. Before he became a merchant Ebenezer was a farmer and after his
marriage he wore the Prince Albert coat to church on Sundays and on Saturday
afternoons when he came into town to trade. When he sold the farm to become a
merchant he wore the coat constantly. It had become brown with age and was covered
with grease spots, but in it Ebenezer always felt dressed up and ready for the
day in town.
As a merchant Ebenezer
was not happily placed in life and he had not been happily placed as a farmer.
Still he existed. His family, consisting of a daughter named Mabel and the son,
lived with him in rooms above the store and it did not cost them much to live.
His troubles were not financial. His unhappiness as a merchant lay in the fact
that when a traveling man with wares to be sold came in at the front door he
was afraid. Behind the counter he stood shaking his head. He was afraid, first
that he would stubbornly refuse to buy and thus lose the opportunity to sell
again; second that he would not be stubborn enough and would in a moment of
weakness buy what could not be sold.
In the store on the
morning when Elmer Cowley saw George Willard standing and apparently listening
at the back door of the Eagle printshop, a situation had arisen that always
stirred the son's wrath. The traveling man talked and Ebenezer listened, his
whole figure expressing uncertainty. "You see how quickly it is
done," said the traveling man, who had for sale a small flat metal
substitute for collar buttons. With one hand he quickly unfastened a collar
from his shirt and then fastened it on again. He assumed a flattering wheedling
tone. "I tell you what, men have come to the end of all this fooling with
collar buttons and you are the man to make money out of the change that is
coming. I am offering you the exclusive agency for this town. Take twenty dozen
of these fasteners and I'll not visit any other store. I'll leave the field to
you."
The traveling man
leaned over the counter and tapped with his finger on Ebenezer's breast.
"It's an opportunity and I want you to take it," he urged. "A
friend of mine told me about you. 'See that man Cowley,' he said. 'He's a live
one.'"
The traveling man
paused and waited. Taking a book from his pocket he began writing out the
order. Still holding the shoe in his hand Elmer Cowley went through the store,
past the two absorbed men, to a glass showcase near the front door. He took a
cheap revolver from the case and began to wave it about. "You get out of
here!" he shrieked. "We don't want any collar fasteners here."
An idea came to him. "Mind, I'm not making any threat," he added.
"I don't say I'll shoot. Maybe I just took this gun out of the case to
look at it. But you better get out. Yes sir, I'll say that. You better grab up
your things and get out."
The young storekeeper's
voice rose to a scream and going behind the counter he began to advance upon
the two men. "We're through being fools here!" he cried. "We
ain't going to buy any more stuff until we begin to sell. We ain't going to
keep on being queer and have folks staring and listening. You get out of
here!"
The traveling man left.
Raking the samples of collar fasteners off the counter into a black leather
bag, he ran. He was a small man and very bow-legged and he ran awkwardly. The
black bag caught against the door and he stumbled and fell. "Crazy, that's
what he is--crazy!" he sputtered as he arose from the sidewalk and hurried
away.
In the store Elmer
Cowley and his father stared at each other. Now that the immediate object of
his wrath had fled, the younger man was embarrassed. "Well, I meant it. I
think we've been queer long enough," he declared, going to the showcase
and replacing the revolver. Sitting on a barrel he pulled on and fastened the
shoe he had been holding in his hand. He was waiting for some word of
understanding from his father but when Ebenezer spoke his words only served to
reawaken the wrath in the son and the young man ran out of the store without
replying. Scratching his grey beard with his long dirty fingers, the merchant
looked at his son with the same wavering uncertain stare with which he had
confronted the traveling man. "I'll be starched," he said softly.
"Well, well, I'll be washed and ironed and starched!"
Elmer Cowley went out
of Winesburg and along a country road that paralleled the railroad track. He
did not know where he was going or what he was going to do. In the shelter of a
deep cut where the road, after turning sharply to the right, dipped under the
tracks he stopped and the passion that had been the cause of his outburst in
the store began to again find expression. "I will not be queer--one to be
looked at and listened to," he declared aloud. "I'll be like other
people. I'll show that George Willard. He'll find out. I'll show him!"
The distraught young
man stood in the middle of the road and glared back at the town. He did not
know the reporter George Willard and had no special feeling concerning the tall
boy who ran about town gathering the town news. The reporter had merely come,
by his presence in the office and in the printshop of the Winesburg Eagle, to
stand for something in the young merchant's mind. He thought the boy who passed
and repassed Cowley & Son's store and who stopped to talk to people in the
street must be thinking of him and perhaps laughing at him. George Willard, he
felt, belonged to the town, typified the town, represented in his person the
spirit of the town. Elmer Cowley could not have believed that George Willard
had also his days of unhappiness, that vague hungers and secret unnamable
desires visited also his mind. Did he not represent public opinion and had not
the public opinion of Winesburg condemned the Cowleys to queerness? Did he not
walk whistling and laughing through Main Street? Might not one by striking his
person strike also the greater enemy--the thing that smiled and went its own
way--the judgment of Winesburg?
Elmer Cowley was
extraordinarily tall and his arms were long and powerful. His hair, his
eye-brows, and the downy beard that had begun to grow upon his chin, were pale
almost to whiteness. His teeth protruded from between his lips and his eyes
were blue with the colorless blueness of the marbles called "aggies"
that the boys of Winesburg carried in their pockets. Elmer had lived in
Winesburg for a year and had made no friends. He was, he felt, one condemned to
go through life without friends and he hated the thought.
Sullenly the tall young
man tramped along the road with his hands stuffed into his trouser pockets. The
day was cold with a raw wind, but presently the sun began to shine and the road
became soft and muddy. The tops of the ridges of frozen mud that formed the
road began to melt and the mud clung to Elmer's shoes. His feet became cold.
When he had gone several miles he turned off the road, crossed a field and
entered a wood. In the wood he gathered sticks to build a fire, by which he sat
trying to warm himself, miserable in body and in mind.
For two hours he sat on
the log by the fire and then, arising and creeping cautiously through a mass of
underbrush, he went to a fence and looked across fields to a small farmhouse
surrounded by low sheds. A smile came to his lips and he began making motions
with his long arms to a man who was husking corn in one of the fields.
In his hour of misery
the young merchant had returned to the farm where he had lived through boyhood
and where there was another human being to whom he felt he could explain
himself. The man on the farm was a half-witted old fellow named Mook. He had
once been employed by Ebenezer Cowley and had stayed on the farm when it was
sold. The old man lived in one of the unpainted sheds back of the farmhouse and
puttered about all day in the fields.
Mook the half-wit lived
happily. With childlike faith he believed in the intelligence of the animals
that lived in the sheds with him, and when he was lonely held long
conversations with the cows, the pigs, and even with the chickens that ran
about the barnyard. He it was who had put the expression regarding being
"laundered" into the mouth of his former employer. When excited or
surprised by anything he smiled vaguely and muttered: "I'll be washed and
ironed. Well, well, I'll be washed and ironed and starched."
When the half-witted
old man left his husking of corn and came into the wood to meet Elmer Cowley,
he was neither surprised nor especially interested in the sudden appearance of
the young man. His feet also were cold and he sat on the log by the fire,
grateful for the warmth and apparently indifferent to what Elmer had to say.
Elmer talked earnestly
and with great freedom, walking up and down and waving his arms about.
"You don't understand what's the matter with me so of course you don't
care," he declared. "With me it's different. Look how it has always
been with me. Father is queer and mother was queer, too. Even the clothes
mother used to wear were not like other people's clothes, and look at that coat
in which father goes about there in town, thinking he's dressed up, too. Why
don't he get a new one? It wouldn't cost much. I'll tell you why. Father
doesn't know and when mother was alive she didn't know either. Mabel is
different. She knows but she won't say anything. I will, though. I'm not going
to be stared at any longer. Why look here, Mook, father doesn't know that his
store there in town is just a queer jumble, that he'll never sell the stuff he
buys. He knows nothing about it. Sometimes he's a little worried that trade
doesn't come and then he goes and buys something else. In the evenings he sits
by the fire upstairs and says trade will come after a while. He isn't worried.
He's queer. He doesn't know enough to be worried."
The excited young man
became more excited. "He don't know but I know," he shouted, stopping
to gaze down into the dumb, unresponsive face of the half-wit. "I know too
well. I can't stand it. When we lived out here it was different. I worked and
at night I went to bed and slept. I wasn't always seeing people and thinking as
I am now. In the evening, there in town, I go to the post office or to the
depot to see the train come in, and no one says anything to me. Everyone stands
around and laughs and they talk but they say nothing to me. Then I feel so
queer that I can't talk either. I go away. I don't say anything. I can't."
The fury of the young
man became uncontrollable. "I won't stand it," he yelled, looking up at
the bare branches of the trees. "I'm not made to stand it."
Maddened by the dull
face of the man on the log by the fire, Elmer turned and glared at him as he
had glared back along the road at the town of Winesburg. "Go on back to
work," he screamed. "What good does it do me to talk to you?" A
thought came to him and his voice dropped. "I'm a coward too, eh?" he
muttered. "Do you know why I came clear out here afoot? I had to tell
someone and you were the only one I could tell. I hunted out another queer one,
you see. I ran away, that's what I did. I couldn't stand up to someone like
that George Willard. I had to come to you. I ought to tell him and I
will."
Again his voice arose
to a shout and his arms flew about. "I will tell him. I won't be queer. I
don't care what they think. I won't stand it."
Elmer Cowley ran out of
the woods leaving the half-wit sitting on the log before the fire. Presently
the old man arose and climbing over the fence went back to his work in the
corn. "I'll be washed and ironed and starched," he declared. "Well,
well, I'll be washed and ironed." Mook was interested. He went along a
lane to a field where two cows stood nibbling at a straw stack. "Elmer was
here," he said to the cows. "Elmer is crazy. You better get behind
the stack where he don't see you. He'll hurt someone yet, Elmer will."
At eight o'clock that
evening Elmer Cowley put his head in at the front door of the office of the
Winesburg Eagle where George Willard sat writing. His cap was pulled down over
his eyes and a sullen determined look was on his face. "You come on
outside with me," he said, stepping in and closing the door. He kept his
hand on the knob as though prepared to resist anyone else coming in. "You
just come along outside. I want to see you."
George Willard and
Elmer Cowley walked through the main street of Winesburg. The night was cold
and George Willard had on a new overcoat and looked very spruce and dressed up.
He thrust his hands into the overcoat pockets and looked inquiringly at his
companion. He had long been wanting to make friends with the young merchant and
find out what was in his mind. Now he thought he saw a chance and was
delighted. "I wonder what he's up to? Perhaps he thinks he has a piece of
news for the paper. It can't be a fire because I haven't heard the fire bell
and there isn't anyone running," he thought.
In the main street of
Winesburg, on the cold November evening, but few citizens appeared and these
hurried along bent on getting to the stove at the back of some store. The
windows of the stores were frosted and the wind rattled the tin sign that hung
over the entrance to the stairway leading to Doctor Welling's office. Before
Hern's Grocery a basket of apples and a rack filled with new brooms stood on
the sidewalk. Elmer Cowley stopped and stood facing George Willard. He tried to
talk and his arms began to pump up and down. His face worked spasmodically. He
seemed about to shout. "Oh, you go on back," he cried. "Don't
stay out here with me. I ain't got anything to tell you. I don't want to see
you at all."
For three hours the
distracted young merchant wandered through the resident streets of Winesburg
blind with anger, brought on by his failure to declare his determination not to
be queer. Bitterly the sense of defeat settled upon him and he wanted to weep.
After the hours of futile sputtering at nothingness that had occupied the
afternoon and his failure in the presence of the young reporter, he thought he
could see no hope of a future for himself.
And then a new idea
dawned for him. In the darkness that surrounded him he began to see a light.
Going to the now darkened store, where Cowley & Son had for over a year
waited vainly for trade to come, he crept stealthily in and felt about in a
barrel that stood by the stove at the rear. In the barrel beneath shavings lay a
tin box containing Cowley & Son's cash. Every evening Ebenezer Cowley put
the box in the barrel when he closed the store and went upstairs to bed.
"They wouldn't never think of a careless place like that," he told
himself, thinking of robbers.
Elmer took twenty
dollars, two ten-dollar bills, from the little roll containing perhaps four
hundred dollars, the cash left from the sale of the farm. Then replacing the
box beneath the shavings he went quietly out at the front door and walked again
in the streets.
The idea that he
thought might put an end to all of his unhappiness was very simple. "I
will get out of here, run away from home," he told himself. He knew that a
local freight train passed through Winesburg at midnight and went on to
Cleveland, where it arrived at dawn. He would steal a ride on the local and
when he got to Cleveland would lose himself in the crowds there. He would get
work in some shop and become friends with the other workmen and would be
indistinguishable. Then he could talk and laugh. He would no longer be queer
and would make friends. Life would begin to have warmth and meaning for him as
it had for others.
The tall awkward young
man, striding through the streets, laughed at himself because he had been angry
and had been half afraid of George Willard. He decided he would have his talk
with the young reporter before he left town, that he would tell him about
things, perhaps challenge him, challenge all of Winesburg through him.
Aglow with new
confidence Elmer went to the office of the New Willard House and pounded on the
door. A sleep-eyed boy slept on a cot in the office. He received no salary but
was fed at the hotel table and bore with pride the title of "night
clerk." Before the boy Elmer was bold, insistent. "You 'wake him
up," he commanded. "You tell him to come down by the depot. I got to
see him and I'm going away on the local. Tell him to dress and come on down. I
ain't got much time."
The midnight local had
finished its work in Winesburg and the trainsmen were coupling cars, swinging
lanterns and preparing to resume their flight east. George Willard, rubbing his
eyes and again wearing the new overcoat, ran down to the station platform afire
with curiosity. "Well, here I am. What do you want? You've got something
to tell me, eh?" he said.
Elmer tried to explain.
He wet his lips with his tongue and looked at the train that had begun to groan
and get under way. "Well, you see," he began, and then lost control
of his tongue. "I'll be washed and ironed. I'll be washed and ironed and
starched," he muttered half incoherently.
Elmer Cowley danced
with fury beside the groaning train in the darkness on the station platform.
Lights leaped into the air and bobbed up and down before his eyes. Taking the
two ten-dollar bills from his pocket he thrust them into George Willard's hand.
"Take them," he cried. "I don't want them. Give them to father.
I stole them." With a snarl of rage he turned and his long arms began to
flay the air. Like one struggling for release from hands that held him he
struck out, hitting George Willard blow after blow on the breast, the neck, the
mouth. The young reporter rolled over on the platform half unconscious, stunned
by the terrific force of the blows. Springing aboard the passing train and
running over the tops of cars, Elmer sprang down to a flat car and lying on his
face looked back, trying to see the fallen man in the darkness. Pride surged up
in him. "I showed him," he cried. "I guess I showed him. I ain't
so queer. I guess I showed him I ain't so queer."
RAY PEARSON and Hal
Winters were farm hands employed on a farm three miles north of Winesburg. On
Saturday afternoons they came into town and wandered about through the streets
with other fellows from the country.
Ray was a quiet, rather
nervous man of perhaps fifty with a brown beard and shoulders rounded by too
much and too hard labor. In his nature he was as unlike Hal Winters as two men
can be unlike.
Ray was an altogether
serious man and had a little sharp-featured wife who had also a sharp voice.
The two, with half a dozen thin-legged children, lived in a tumble-down frame
house beside a creek at the back end of the Wills farm where Ray was employed.
Hal Winters, his fellow
employee, was a young fellow. He was not of the Ned Winters family, who were
very respectable people in Winesburg, but was one of the three sons of the old
man called Windpeter Winters who had a sawmill near Unionville, six miles away,
and who was looked upon by everyone in Winesburg as a confirmed old reprobate.
People from the part of
Northern Ohio in which Winesburg lies will remember old Windpeter by his
unusual and tragic death. He got drunk one evening in town and started to drive
home to Unionville along the railroad tracks. Henry Brattenburg, the butcher,
who lived out that way, stopped him at the edge of the town and told him he was
sure to meet the down train but Windpeter slashed at him with his whip and
drove on. When the train struck and killed him and his two horses a farmer and
his wife who were driving home along a nearby road saw the accident. They said
that old Windpeter stood up on the seat of his wagon, raving and swearing at
the onrushing locomotive, and that he fairly screamed with delight when the
team, maddened by his incessant slashing at them, rushed straight ahead to
certain death. Boys like young George Willard and Seth Richmond will remember
the incident quite vividly because, although everyone in our town said that the
old man would go straight to hell and that the community was better off without
him, they had a secret conviction that he knew what he was doing and admired
his foolish courage. Most boys have seasons of wishing they could die
gloriously instead of just being grocery clerks and going on with their humdrum
lives.
But this is not the
story of Windpeter Winters nor yet of his son Hal who worked on the Wills farm
with Ray Pearson. It is Ray's story. It will, however, be necessary to talk a
little of young Hal so that you will get into the spirit of it.
Hal was a bad one.
Everyone said that. There were three of the Winters boys in that family, John,
Hal, and Edward, all broad-shouldered big fellows like old Windpeter himself
and all fighters and woman-chasers and generally all-around bad ones.
Hal was the worst of
the lot and always up to some devilment. He once stole a load of boards from
his father's mill and sold them in Winesburg. With the money he bought himself
a suit of cheap, flashy clothes. Then he got drunk and when his father came
raving into town to find him, they met and fought with their fists on Main
Street and were arrested and put into jail together.
Hal went to work on the
Wills farm because there was a country school teacher out that way who had
taken his fancy. He was only twenty-two then but had already been in two or
three of what were spoken of in Winesburg as "women scrapes."
Everyone who heard of his infatuation for the school teacher was sure it would
turn out badly. "He'll only get her into trouble, you'll see," was
the word that went around.
And so these two men,
Ray and Hal, were at work in a field on a day in the late October. They were
husking corn and occasionally something was said and they laughed. Then came
silence. Ray, who was the more sensitive and always minded things more, had chapped
hands and they hurt. He put them into his coat pockets and looked away across
the fields. He was in a sad, distracted mood and was affected by the beauty of
the country. If you knew the Winesburg country in the fall and how the low
hills are all splashed with yellows and reds you would understand his feeling.
He began to think of the time, long ago when he was a young fellow living with
his father, then a baker in Winesburg, and how on such days he had wandered
away into the woods to gather nuts, hunt rabbits, or just to loaf about and
smoke his pipe. His marriage had come about through one of his days of
wandering. He had induced a girl who waited on trade in his father's shop to go
with him and something had happened. He was thinking of that afternoon and how
it had affected his whole life when a spirit of protest awoke in him. He had
forgotten about Hal and muttered words. "Tricked by Gad, that's what I
was, tricked by life and made a fool of," he said in a low voice.
As though understanding
his thoughts, Hal Winters spoke up. "Well, has it been worth while? What
about it, eh? What about marriage and all that?" he asked and then
laughed. Hal tried to keep on laughing but he too was in an earnest mood. He
began to talk earnestly. "Has a fellow got to do it?" he asked.
"Has he got to be harnessed up and driven through life like a horse?"
Hal didn't wait for an
answer but sprang to his feet and began to walk back and forth between the corn
shocks. He was getting more and more excited. Bending down suddenly he picked
up an ear of the yellow corn and threw it at the fence. "I've got Nell
Gunther in trouble," he said. "I'm telling you, but you keep your
mouth shut."
Ray Pearson arose and
stood staring. He was almost a foot shorter than Hal, and when the younger man
came and put his two hands on the older man's shoulders they made a picture.
There they stood in the big empty field with the quiet corn shocks standing in
rows behind them and the red and yellow hills in the distance, and from being
just two indifferent workmen they had become all alive to each other. Hal
sensed it and because that was his way he laughed. "Well, old daddy,"
he said awkwardly, "come on, advise me. I've got Nell in trouble. Perhaps
you've been in the same fix yourself. I know what everyone would say is the
right thing to do, but what do you say? Shall I marry and settle down? Shall I
put myself into the harness to be worn out like an old horse? You know me, Ray.
There can't anyone break me but I can break myself. Shall I do it or shall I
tell Nell to go to the devil? Come on, you tell me. Whatever you say, Ray, I'll
do."
Ray couldn't answer. He
shook Hal's hands loose and turning walked straight away toward the barn. He
was a sensitive man and there were tears in his eyes. He knew there was only
one thing to say to Hal Winters, son of old Windpeter Winters, only one thing that
all his own training and all the beliefs of the people he knew would approve,
but for his life he couldn't say what he knew he should say.
At half-past four that
afternoon Ray was puttering about the barnyard when his wife came up the lane
along the creek and called him. After the talk with Hal he hadn't returned to
the cornfield but worked about the barn. He had already done the evening chores
and had seen Hal, dressed and ready for a roistering night in town, come out of
the farmhouse and go into the road. Along the path to his own house he trudged
behind his wife, looking at the ground and thinking. He couldn't make out what
was wrong. Every time he raised his eyes and saw the beauty of the country in
the failing light he wanted to do something he had never done before, shout or
scream or hit his wife with his fists or something equally unexpected and
terrifying. Along the path he went scratching his head and trying to make it
out. He looked hard at his wife's back but she seemed all right.
She only wanted him to
go into town for groceries and as soon as she had told him what she wanted
began to scold. "You're always puttering," she said. "Now I want
you to hustle. There isn't anything in the house for supper and you've got to
get to town and back in a hurry."
Ray went into his own
house and took an overcoat from a hook back of the door. It was torn about the
pockets and the collar was shiny. His wife went into the bedroom and presently
came out with a soiled cloth in one hand and three silver dollars in the other.
Somewhere in the house a child wept bitterly and a dog that had been sleeping
by the stove arose and yawned. Again the wife scolded. "The children will
cry and cry. Why are you always puttering?" she asked.
Ray went out of the
house and climbed the fence into a field. It was just growing dark and the
scene that lay before him was lovely. All the low hills were washed with color
and even the little clusters of bushes in the corners of the fences were alive
with beauty. The whole world seemed to Ray Pearson to have become alive with
something just as he and Hal had suddenly become alive when they stood in the
corn field stating into each other's eyes.
The beauty of the
country about Winesburg was too much for Ray on that fall evening. That is all
there was to it. He could not stand it. Of a sudden he forgot all about being a
quiet old farm hand and throwing off the torn overcoat began to run across the
field. As he ran he shouted a protest against his life, against all life,
against everything that makes life ugly. "There was no promise made,"
he cried into the empty spaces that lay about him. "I didn't promise my
Minnie anything and Hal hasn't made any promise to Nell. I know he hasn't. She
went into the woods with him because she wanted to go. What he wanted she
wanted. Why should I pay? Why should Hal pay? Why should anyone pay? I don't
want Hal to become old and worn out. I'll tell him. I won't let it go on. I'll
catch Hal before he gets to town and I'll tell him."
Ray ran clumsily and
once he stumbled and fell down. "I must catch Hal and tell him," he
kept thinking, and although his breath came in gasps he kept running harder and
harder. As he ran he thought of things that hadn't come into his mind for
years--how at the time he married he had planned to go west to his uncle in
Portland, Oregon--how he hadn't wanted to be a farm hand, but had thought when
he got out West he would go to sea and be a sailor or get a job on a ranch and
ride a horse into Western towns, shouting and laughing and waking the people in
the houses with his wild cries. Then as he ran he remembered his children and
in fancy felt their hands clutching at him. All of his thoughts of himself were
involved with the thoughts of Hal and he thought the children were clutching at
the younger man also. "They are the accidents of life, Hal," he
cried. "They are not mine or yours. I had nothing to do with them."
Darkness began to
spread over the fields as Ray Pearson ran on and on. His breath came in little
sobs. When he came to the fence at the edge of the road and confronted Hal
Winters, all dressed up and smoking a pipe as he walked jauntily along, he
could not have told what he thought or what he wanted.
Ray Pearson lost his
nerve and this is really the end of the story of what happened to him. It was
almost dark when he got to the fence and he put his hands on the top bar and
stood staring. Hal Winters jumped a ditch and coming up close to Ray put his
hands into his pockets and laughed. He seemed to have lost his own sense of
what had happened in the corn field and when he put up a strong hand and took
hold of the lapel of Ray's coat he shook the old man as he might have shaken a
dog that had misbehaved.
"You came to tell
me, eh?" he said. "Well, never mind telling me anything. I'm not a
coward and I've already made up my mind." He laughed again and jumped back
across the ditch. "Nell ain't no fool," he said. "She didn't ask
me to marry her. I want to marry her. I want to settle down and have kids."
Ray Pearson also laughed.
He felt like laughing at himself and all the world.
As the form of Hal
Winters disappeared in the dusk that lay over the road that led to Winesburg,
he turned and walked slowly back across the fields to where he had left his
torn overcoat. As he went some memory of pleasant evenings spent with the
thin-legged children in the tumble-down house by the creek must have come into
his mind, for he muttered words. "It's just as well. Whatever I told him
would have been a lie," he said softly, and then his form also disappeared
into the darkness of the fields.
TOM FOSTER came to
Winesburg from Cincinnati when he was still young and could get many new
impressions. His grandmother had been raised on a farm near the town and as a
young girl had gone to school there when Winesburg was a village of twelve or
fifteen houses clustered about a general store on the Trunion Pike.
What a life the old
woman had led since she went away from the frontier settlement and what a
strong, capable little old thing she was! She had been in Kansas, in Canada,
and in New York City, traveling about with her husband, a mechanic, before he
died. Later she went to stay with her daughter, who had also married a mechanic
and lived in Covington, Kentucky, across the river from Cincinnati.
Then began the hard
years for Tom Foster's grandmother. First her son-in-law was killed by a
policeman during a strike and then Tom's mother became an invalid and died
also. The grandmother had saved a little money, but it was swept away by the
illness of the daughter and by the cost of the two funerals. She became a half
worn-out old woman worker and lived with the grandson above a junk shop on a
side street in Cincinnati. For five years she scrubbed the floors in an office
building and then got a place as dish washer in a restaurant. Her hands were
all twisted out of shape. When she took hold of a mop or a broom handle the
hands looked like the dried stems of an old creeping vine clinging to a tree.
The old woman came back
to Winesburg as soon as she got the chance. One evening as she was coming home
from work she found a pocket-book containing thirty-seven dollars, and that
opened the way. The trip was a great adventure for the boy. It was past seven
o'clock at night when the grandmother came home with the pocket-book held
tightly in her old hands and she was so excited she could scarcely speak. She
insisted on leaving Cincinnati that night, saying that if they stayed until
morning the owner of the money would be sure to find them out and make trouble.
Tom, who was then sixteen years old, had to go trudging off to the station with
the old woman, bearing all of their earthly belongings done up in a worn-out
blanket and slung across his back. By his side walked the grandmother urging
him forward. Her toothless old mouth twitched nervously, and when Tom grew
weary and wanted to put the pack down at a street crossing, she snatched it up
and if he had not prevented would have slung it across her own back. When they
got into the train and it had run out of the city she was as delighted as a
girl and talked as the boy had never heard her talk before.
All through the night
as the train rattled along, the grandmother told Tom tales of Winesburg and of
how he would enjoy his life working in the fields and shooting wild things in
the woods there. She could not believe that the tiny village of fifty years
before had grown into a thriving town in her absence, and in the morning when
the train came to Winesburg did not want to get off. "It isn't what I thought.
It may be hard for you here," she said, and then the train went on its way
and the two stood confused, not knowing where to turn, in the presence of
Albert Longworth, the Winesburg baggage master.
But Tom Foster did get
along all right. He was one to get along anywhere. Mrs. White, the banker's
wife, employed his grandmother to work in the kitchen and he got a place as
stable boy in the banker's new brick barn.
In Winesburg servants
were hard to get. The woman who wanted help in her housework employed a
"hired girl" who insisted on sitting at the table with the family.
Mrs. White was sick of hired girls and snatched at the chance to get hold of
the old city woman. She furnished a room for the boy Tom upstairs in the barn.
"He can mow the lawn and run errands when the horses do not need
attention," she explained to her husband.
Tom Foster was rather
small for his age and had a large head covered with stiff black hair that stood
straight up. The hair emphasized the bigness of his head. His voice was the
softest thing imaginable, and he was himself so gentle and quiet that he
slipped into the life of the town without attracting the least bit of
attention.
One could not help
wondering where Tom Foster got his gentleness. In Cincinnati he had lived in a
neighborhood where gangs of tough boys prowled through the streets, and all
through his early formative years he ran about with tough boys. For a while he
was a messenger for a telegraph company and delivered messages in a
neighborhood sprinkled with houses of prostitution. The women in the houses
knew and loved Tom Foster and the tough boys in the gangs loved him also.
He never asserted
himself. That was one thing that helped him escape. In an odd way he stood in
the shadow of the wall of life, was meant to stand in the shadow. He saw the
men and women in the houses of lust, sensed their casual and horrible love
affairs, saw boys fighting and listened to their tales of thieving and
drunkenness, unmoved and strangely unaffected.
Once Tom did steal. That
was while he still lived in the city. The grandmother was ill at the time and
he himself was out of work. There was nothing to eat in the house, and so he
went into a harness shop on a side street and stole a dollar and seventy-five
cents out of the cash drawer.
The harness shop was
run by an old man with a long mustache. He saw the boy lurking about and
thought nothing of it. When he went out into the street to talk to a teamster
Tom opened the cash drawer and taking the money walked away. Later he was
caught and his grandmother settled the matter by offering to come twice a week
for a month and scrub the shop. The boy was ashamed, but he was rather glad,
too. "It is all right to be ashamed and makes me understand new
things," he said to the grandmother, who didn't know what the boy was
talking about but loved him so much that it didn't matter whether she
understood or not.
For a year Tom Foster
lived in the banker's stable and then lost his place there. He didn't take very
good care of the horses and he was a constant source of irritation to the
banker's wife. She told him to mow the lawn and he forgot. Then she sent him to
the store or to the post office and he did not come back but joined a group of
men and boys and spent the whole afternoon with them, standing about, listening
and occasionally, when addressed, saying a few words. As in the city in the
houses of prostitution and with the rowdy boys running through the streets at
night, so in Winesburg among its citizens he had always the power to be a part
of and yet distinctly apart from the life about him.
After Tom lost his
place at Banker White's he did not live with his grandmother, although often in
the evening she came to visit him. He rented a room at the rear of a little
frame building belonging to old Rufus Whiting. The building was on Duane
Street, just off Main Street, and had been used for years as a law office by
the old man, who had become too feeble and forgetful for the practice of his
profession but did not realize his inefficiency. He liked Tom and let him have
the room for a dollar a month. In the late afternoon when the lawyer had gone
home the boy had the place to himself and spent hours lying on the floor by the
stove and thinking of things. In the evening the grandmother came and sat in
the lawyer's chair to smoke a pipe while Tom remained silent, as he always, did
in the presence of everyone.
Often the old woman
talked with great vigor. Sometimes she was angry about some happening at the
banker's house and scolded away for hours. Out of her own earnings she bought a
mop and regularly scrubbed the lawyer's office. Then when the place was spotlessly
clean and smelled clean she lighted her clay pipe and she and Tom had a smoke
together. "When you get ready to die then I will die also," she said
to the boy lying on the floor beside her chair.
Tom Foster enjoyed life
in Winesburg. He did odd jobs, such as cutting wood for kitchen stoves and
mowing the grass before houses. In late May and early June he picked
strawberries in the fields. He had time to loaf and he enjoyed loafing. Banker
White had given him a cast-off coat which was too large for him, but his
grandmother cut it down, and he had also an overcoat, got at the same place,
that was lined with fur. The fur was worn away in spots, but the coat was warm
and in the winter Tom slept in it. He thought his method of getting along good
enough and was happy and satisfied with the way fife in Winesburg had turned
out for him.
The most absurd little
things made Tom Foster happy. That, I suppose, was why people loved him. In
Hern's Grocery they would be roasting coffee on Friday afternoon, preparatory
to the Saturday rush of trade, and the rich odor invaded lower Main Street. Tom
Foster appeared and sat on a box at the rear of the store. For an hour he did
not move but sat perfectly still, filling his being with the spicy odor that
made him half drunk with happiness. "I like it," he said gently.
"It makes me think of things far away, places and things like that."
One night Tom Foster
got drunk. That came about in a curious way. He never had been drunk before,
and indeed in all his fife had never taken a drink of anything intoxicating,
but he felt he needed to be drunk that one time and so went and did it.
In Cincinnati, when he
lived there, Tom had found out many things, things about ugliness and crime and
lust. Indeed, he knew more of these things than anyone else in Winesburg. The
matter of sex in particular had presented itself to him in a quite horrible way
and had made a deep impression on his mind. He thought, after what he had seen
of the women standing before the squalid houses on cold nights and the look he
had seen in the eyes of the men who stopped to talk to them, that he would put
sex altogether out of his own life. One of the women of the neighborhood
tempted him once and he went into a room with her. He never forgot the smell of
the room nor the greedy look that came into the eyes of the woman. It sickened
him and in a very terrible way left a scar on his soul. He had always before
thought of women as quite innocent things, much like his grandmother, but after
that one experience in the room he dismissed women from his mind. So gentle was
his nature that he could not hate anything and not being able to understand he
decided to forget.
And Tom did forget
until he came to Winesburg. After he had lived there for two years something
began to stir in him. On all sides he saw youth making love and he was himself
a youth. Before he knew what had happened he was in love also. He fell in love
with Helen White, daughter of the man for whom he had worked, and found himself
thinking of her at night.
That was a problem for
Tom and he settled it in his own way. He let himself think of Helen White
whenever her figure came into his mind and only concerned himself with the
manner of his thoughts. He had a fight, a quiet determined little fight of his
own, to keep his desires in the channel where he thought they belonged, but on
the whole he was victorious.
And then came the
spring night when he got drunk. Tom was wild on that night. He was like an
innocent young buck of the forest that has eaten of some maddening weed. The
thing began, ran its course, and was ended in one night, and you may be sure
that no one in Winesburg was any the worse for Tom's outbreak.
In the first place, the
night was one to make a sensitive nature drunk. The trees along the residence
streets of the town were all newly clothed in soft green leaves, in the gardens
behind the houses men were puttering about in vegetable gardens, and in the air
there was a hush, a waiting kind of silence very stirring to the blood.
Tom left his room on
Duane Street just as the young night began to make itself felt. First he walked
through the streets, going softly and quietly along, thinking thoughts that he
tried to put into words. He said that Helen White was a flame dancing in the
air and that he was a little tree without leaves standing out sharply against
the sky. Then he said that she was a wind, a strong terrible wind, coming out
of the darkness of a stormy sea and that he was a boat left on the shore of the
sea by a fisherman.
That idea pleased the
boy and he sauntered along playing with it. He went into Main Street and sat on
the curbing before Wacker's tobacco store. For an hour he lingered about
listening to the talk of men, but it did not interest him much and he slipped
away. Then he decided to get drunk and went into Willy's saloon and bought a
bottle of whiskey. Putting the bottle into his pocket, he walked out of town,
wanting to be alone to think more thoughts and to drink the whiskey.
Tom got drunk sitting
on a bank of new grass beside the road about a mile north of town. Before him
was a white road and at his back an apple orchard in full bloom. He took a
drink out of the bottle and then lay down on the grass. He thought of mornings
in Winesburg and of how the stones in the graveled driveway by Banker White's
house were wet with dew and glistened in the morning light. He thought of the
nights in the barn when it rained and he lay awake hearing the drumming of the
raindrops and smelling the warm smell of horses and of hay. Then he thought of
a storm that had gone roaring through Winesburg several days before and, his
mind going back, he relived the night he had spent on the train with his
grandmother when the two were coming from Cincinnati. Sharply he remembered how
strange it had seemed to sit quietly in the coach and to feel the power of the
engine hurling the train along through the night.
Tom got drunk in a very
short time. He kept taking drinks from the bottle as the thoughts visited him
and when his head began to reel got up and walked along the road going away
from Winesburg. There was a bridge on the road that ran out of Winesburg north
to Lake Erie and the drunken boy made his way along the road to the bridge.
There he sat down. He tried to drink again, but when he had taken the cork out
of the bottle he became ill and put it quickly back. His head was rocking back
and forth and so he sat on the stone approach to the bridge and sighed. His
head seemed to be flying about like a pinwheel and then projecting itself off
into space and his arms and legs flopped helplessly about.
At eleven o'clock Tom
got back into town. George Willard found him wandering about and took him into
the Eagle printshop. Then he became afraid that the drunken boy would make a
mess on the floor and helped him into the alleyway.
The reporter was
confused by Tom Foster. The drunken boy talked of Helen White and said he had
been with her on the shore of a sea and had made love to her. George had seen
Helen White walking in the street with her father during the evening and
decided that Tom was out of his head. A sentiment concerning Helen White that
lurked in his own heart flamed up and he became angry. "Now you quit
that," he said. "I won't let Helen White's name be dragged into this.
I won't let that happen." He began shaking Tom's shoulder, trying to make
him understand. "You quit it," he said again.
For three hours the two
young men, thus strangely thrown together, stayed in the printshop. When he had
a little recovered George took Tom for a walk. They went into the country and
sat on a log near the edge of a wood. Something in the still night drew them
together and when the drunken boy's head began to clear they talked.
"It was good to be
drunk," Tom Foster said. "It taught me something. I won't have to do
it again. I will think more dearly after this. You see how it is."
George Willard did not
see, but his anger concerning Helen White passed and he felt drawn toward the
pale, shaken boy as he had never before been drawn toward anyone. With motherly
solicitude, he insisted that Tom get to his feet and walk about. Again they
went back to the printshop and sat in silence in the darkness.
The reporter could not
get the purpose of Tom Foster's action straightened out in his mind. When Tom
spoke again of Helen White he again grew angry and began to scold. "You
quit that," he said sharply. "You haven't been with her. What makes
you say you have? What makes you keep saying such things? Now you quit it, do
you hear?"
Tom was hurt. He
couldn't quarrel with George Willard because he was incapable of quarreling, so
he got up to go away. When George Willard was insistent he put out his hand,
laying it on the older boy's arm, and tried to explain.
"Well," he
said softly, "I don't know how it was. I was happy. You see how that was.
Helen White made me happy and the night did too. I wanted to suffer, to be hurt
somehow. I thought that was what I should do. I wanted to suffer, you see,
because everyone suffers and does wrong. I thought of a lot of things to do,
but they wouldn't work. They all hurt someone else."
Tom Foster's voice
arose, and for once in his life he became almost excited. "It was like
making love, that's what I mean," he explained. "Don't you see how it
is? It hurt me to do what I did and made everything strange. That's why I did
it. I'm glad, too. It taught me something, that's it, that's what I wanted.
Don't you understand? I wanted to learn things, you see. That's why I did
it."
THE stairway leading up
to Doctor Reefy's office, in the Heffner Block above the Paris Dry Goods store,
was but dimly lighted. At the head of the stairway hung a lamp with a dirty
chimney that was fastened by a bracket to the wall. The lamp had a tin
reflector, brown with rust and covered with dust. The people who went up the
stairway followed with their feet the feet of many who had gone before. The
soft boards of the stairs had yielded under the pressure of feet and deep
hollows marked the way.
At the top of the
stairway a turn to the right brought you to the doctor's door. To the left was
a dark hallway filled with rubbish. Old chairs, carpenter's horses, step
ladders and empty boxes lay in the darkness waiting for shins to be barked. The
pile of rubbish belonged to the Paris Dry Goods Company. When a counter or a
row of shelves in the store became useless, clerks carried it up the stairway
and threw it on the pile.
Doctor Reefy's office
was as large as a barn. A stove with a round paunch sat in the middle of the
room. Around its base was piled sawdust, held in place by heavy planks nailed
to the floor. By the door stood a huge table that had once been a part of the
furniture of Herrick's Clothing Store and that had been used for displaying
custom-made clothes. It was covered with books, bottles, and surgical
instruments. Near the edge of the table lay three or four apples left by John
Spaniard, a tree nurseryman who was Doctor Reefy's friend, and who had slipped
the apples out of his pocket as he came in at the door.
At middle age Doctor
Reefy was tall and awkward. The grey beard he later wore had not yet appeared,
but on the upper lip grew a brown mustache. He was not a graceful man, as when
he grew older, and was much occupied with the problem of disposing of his hands
and feet.
On summer afternoons,
when she had been married many years and when her son George was a boy of
twelve or fourteen, Elizabeth Willard sometimes went up the worn steps to
Doctor Reefy's office. Already the woman's naturally tall figure had begun to
droop and to drag itself listlessly about. Ostensibly she went to see the
doctor because of her health, but on the half dozen occasions when she had been
to see him the outcome of the visits did not primarily concern her health. She
and the doctor talked of that but they talked most of her life, of their two
lives and of the ideas that had come to them as they lived their lives in
Winesburg.
In the big empty office
the man and the woman sat looking at each other and they were a good deal
alike. Their bodies were different, as were also the color of their eyes, the
length of their noses, and the circumstances of their existence, but something
inside them meant the same thing, wanted the same release, would have left the
same impression on the memory of an onlooker. Later, and when he grew older and
married a young wife, the doctor often talked to her of the hours spent with
the sick woman and expressed a good many things he had been unable to express
to Elizabeth. He was almost a poet in his old age and his notion of what
happened took a poetic turn. "I had come to the time in my life when
prayer became necessary and so I invented gods and prayed to them," he
said. "I did not say my prayers in words nor did I kneel down but sat
perfectly still in my chair. In the late afternoon when it was hot and quiet on
Main Street or in the winter when the days were gloomy, the gods came into the
office and I thought no one knew about them. Then I found that this woman
Elizabeth knew, that she worshipped also the same gods. I have a notion that
she came to the office because she thought the gods would be there but she was
happy to find herself not alone just the same. It was an experience that cannot
be explained, although I suppose it is always happening to men and women in all
sorts of places."
On the summer
afternoons when Elizabeth and the doctor sat in the office and talked of their
two lives they talked of other lives also. Sometimes the doctor made
philosophic epigrams. Then he chuckled with amusement. Now and then after a
period of silence, a word was said or a hint given that strangely illuminated
the fife of the speaker, a wish became a desire, or a dream, half dead, flared
suddenly into life. For the most part the words came from the woman and she
said them without looking at the man.
Each time she came to
see the doctor the hotel keeper's wife talked a little more freely and after an
hour or two in his presence went down the stairway into Main Street feeling
renewed and strengthened against the dullness of her days. With something
approaching a girlhood swing to her body she walked along, but when she had got
back to her chair by the window of her room and when darkness had come on and a
girl from the hotel dining room brought her dinner on a tray, she let it grow
cold. Her thoughts ran away to her girlhood with its passionate longing for
adventure and she remembered the arms of men that had held her when adventure
was a possible thing for her. Particularly she remembered one who had for a
time been her lover and who in the moment of his passion had cried out to her
more than a hundred times, saying the same words madly over and over: "You
dear! You dear! You lovely dear!" The words, she thought, expressed
something she would have liked to have achieved in life.
In her room in the
shabby old hotel the sick wife of the hotel keeper began to weep and, putting
her hands to her face, rocked back and forth. The words of her one friend,
Doctor Reefy, rang in her ears. "Love is like a wind stirring the grass
beneath trees on a black night," he had said. "You must not try to
make love definite. It is the divine accident of life. If you try to be
definite and sure about it and to live beneath the trees, where soft night
winds blow, the long hot day of disappointment comes swiftly and the gritty
dust from passing wagons gathers upon lips inflamed and made tender by
kisses."
Elizabeth Willard could
not remember her mother who had died when she was but five years old. Her
girlhood had been lived in the most haphazard manner imaginable. Her father was
a man who had wanted to be let alone and the affairs of the hotel would not let
him alone. He also had lived and died a sick man. Every day he arose with a
cheerful face, but by ten o'clock in the morning all the joy had gone out of his
heart. When a guest complained of the fare in the hotel dining room or one of
the girls who made up the beds got married and went away, he stamped on the
floor and swore. At night when he went to bed he thought of his daughter
growing up among the stream of people that drifted in and out of the hotel and
was overcome with sadness. As the girl grew older and began to walk out in the
evening with men he wanted to talk to her, but when he tried was not
successful. He always forgot what he wanted to say and spent the time
complaining of his own affairs.
In her girlhood and
young womanhood Elizabeth had tried to be a real adventurer in life. At
eighteen life had so gripped her that she was no longer a virgin but, although
she had a half dozen lovers before she married Tom Willard, she had never
entered upon an adventure prompted by desire alone. Like all the women in the
world, she wanted a real lover. Always there was something she sought blindly,
passionately, some hidden wonder in life. The tall beautiful girl with the
swinging stride who had walked under the trees with men was forever putting out
her hand into the darkness and trying to get hold of some other hand. In all
the babble of words that fell from the lips of the men with whom she adventured
she was trying to find what would be for her the true word,
Elizabeth had married
Tom Willard, a clerk in her father's hotel, because he was at hand and wanted
to marry at the time when the determination to marry came to her. For a while,
like most young girls, she thought marriage would change the face of life. If
there was in her mind a doubt of the outcome of the marriage with Tom she
brushed it aside. Her father was ill and near death at the time and she was
perplexed because of the meaningless outcome of an affair in which she had just
been involved. Other girls of her age in Winesburg were marrying men she had
always known, grocery clerks or young farmers. In the evening they walked in
Main Street with their husbands and when she passed they smiled happily. She
began to think that the fact of marriage might be full of some hidden
significance. Young wives with whom she talked spoke softly and shyly. "It
changes things to have a man of your own," they said.
On the evening before
her marriage the perplexed girl had a talk with her father. Later she wondered
if the hours alone with the sick man had not led to her decision to marry. The
father talked of his life and advised the daughter to avoid being led into
another such muddle. He abused Tom Willard, and that led Elizabeth to come to
the clerk's defense. The sick man became excited and tried to get out of bed.
When she would not let him walk about he began to complain. "I've never
been let alone," he said. "Although I've worked hard I've not made
the hotel pay. Even now I owe money at the bank. You'll find that out when I'm
gone."
The voice of the sick
man became tense with earnestness. Being unable to arise, he put out his hand
and pulled the girl's head down beside his own. "There's a way out,"
he whispered. "Don't marry Tom Willard or anyone else here in Winesburg.
There is eight hundred dollars in a tin box in my trunk. Take it and go
away."
Again the sick man's
voice became querulous. "You've got to promise," he declared.
"If you won't promise not to marry, give me your word that you'll never
tell Tom about the money. It is mine and if I give it to you I've the right to
make that demand. Hide it away. It is to make up to you for my failure as a
father. Some time it may prove to be a door, a great open door to you. Come
now, I tell you I'm about to die, give me your promise."
In Doctor Reefy's
office, Elizabeth, a tired gaunt old woman at forty-one, sat in a chair near
the stove and looked at the floor. By a small desk near the window sat the
doctor. His hands played with a lead pencil that lay on the desk. Elizabeth
talked of her life as a married woman. She became impersonal and forgot her
husband, only using him as a lay figure to give point to her tale. "And
then I was married and it did not turn out at all," she said bitterly.
"As soon as I had gone into it I began to be afraid. Perhaps I knew too
much before and then perhaps I found out too much during my first night with
him. I don't remember.
"What a fool I
was. When father gave me the money and tried to talk me out of the thought of
marriage, I would not listen. I thought of what the girls who were married had
said of it and I wanted marriage also. It wasn't Tom I wanted, it was marriage.
When father went to sleep I leaned out of the window and thought of the life I
had led. I didn't want to be a bad woman. The town was full of stories about
me. I even began to be afraid Tom would change his mind."
The woman's voice began
to quiver with excitement. To Doctor Reefy, who without realizing what was
happening had begun to love her, there came an odd illusion. He thought that as
she talked the woman's body was changing, that she was becoming younger,
straighter, stronger. When he could not shake off the illusion his mind gave it
a professional twist. "It is good for both her body and her mind, this
talking," he muttered.
The woman began telling
of an incident that had happened one afternoon a few months after her marriage.
Her voice became steadier. "In the late afternoon I went for a drive
alone," she said. "I had a buggy and a little grey pony I kept in
Moyer's Livery. Tom was painting and repapering rooms in the hotel. He wanted
money and I was trying to make up my mind to tell him about the eight hundred
dollars father had given to me. I couldn't decide to do it. I didn't like him
well enough. There was always paint on his hands and face during those days and
he smelled of paint. He was trying to fix up the old hotel, and make it new and
smart."
The excited woman sat
up very straight in her chair and made a quick girlish movement with her hand
as she told of the drive alone on the spring afternoon. "It was cloudy and
a storm threatened," she said. "Black clouds made the green of the
trees and the grass stand out so that the colors hurt my eyes. I went out
Trunion Pike a mile or more and then turned into a side road. The little horse
went quickly along up hill and down. I was impatient. Thoughts came and I
wanted to get away from my thoughts. I began to beat the horse. The black
clouds settled down and it began to rain. I wanted to go at a terrible speed,
to drive on and on forever. I wanted to get out of town, out of my clothes, out
of my marriage, out of my body, out of everything. I almost killed the horse,
making him run, and when he could not run any more I got out of the buggy and
ran afoot into the darkness until I fell and hurt my side. I wanted to run away
from everything but I wanted to run towards something too. Don't you see, dear,
how it was?"
Elizabeth sprang out of
the chair and began to walk about in the office. She walked as Doctor Reefy
thought he had never seen anyone walk before. To her whole body there was a
swing, a rhythm that intoxicated him. When she came and knelt on the floor
beside his chair he took her into his arms and began to kiss her passionately.
"I cried all the way home," she said, as she tried to continue the
story of her wild ride, but he did not listen. "You dear! You lovely dear!
Oh you lovely dear!" he muttered and thought he held in his arms not the
tired-out woman of forty-one but a lovely and innocent girl who had been able
by some miracle to project herself out of the husk of the body of the tired-out
woman.
Doctor Reefy did not
see the woman he had held in his arms again until after her death. On the summer
afternoon in the office when he was on the point of becoming her lover a half
grotesque little incident brought his love-making quickly to an end. As the man
and woman held each other tightly heavy feet came tramping up the office
stairs. The two sprang to their feet and stood listening and trembling. The
noise on the stairs was made by a clerk from the Paris Dry Goods Company. With
a loud bang he threw an empty box on the pile of rubbish in the hallway and
then went heavily down the stairs. Elizabeth followed him almost immediately.
The thing that had come to life in her as she talked to her one friend died
suddenly. She was hysterical, as was also Doctor Reefy, and did not want to
continue the talk. Along the street she went with the blood still singing in
her body, but when she turned out of Main Street and saw ahead the lights of
the New Willard House, she began to tremble and her knees shook so that for a
moment she thought she would fall in the street.
The sick woman spent
the last few months of her life hungering for death. Along the road of death
she went, seeking, hungering. She personified the figure of death and made him
now a strong black- haired youth running over hills, now a stem quiet man
marked and scarred by the business of living. In the darkness of her room she
put out her hand, thrusting it from under the covers of her bed, and she
thought that death like a living thing put out his hand to her. "Be
patient, lover," she whispered. "Keep yourself young and beautiful and
be patient."
On the evening when
disease laid its heavy hand upon her and defeated her plans for telling her son
George of the eight hundred dollars hidden away, she got out of bed and crept
half across the room pleading with death for another hour of life. "Wait,
dear! The boy! The boy! The boy!" she pleaded as she tried with all of her
strength to fight off the arms of the lover she had wanted so earnestly.
Elizabeth died one day
in March in the year when her son George became eighteen, and the young man had
but little sense of the meaning of her death. Only time could give him that.
For a month he had seen her lying white and still and speechless in her bed,
and then one afternoon the doctor stopped him in the hallway and said a few
words.
The young man went into
his own room and closed the door. He had a queer empty feeling in the region of
his stomach. For a moment he sat staring at, the floor and then jumping up went
for a walk. Along the station platform he went, and around through residence
streets past the high- school building, thinking almost entirely of his own
affairs. The notion of death could not get hold of him and he was in fact a
little annoyed that his mother had died on that day. He had just received a
note from Helen White, the daughter of the town banker, in answer to one from
him. "Tonight I could have gone to see her and now it will have to be put
off," he thought half angrily.
Elizabeth died on a
Friday afternoon at three o'clock. It had been cold and rainy in the morning
but in the afternoon the sun came out. Before she died she lay paralyzed for
six days unable to speak or move and with only her mind and her eyes alive. For
three of the six days she struggled, thinking of her boy, trying to say some
few words in regard to his future, and in her eyes there was an appeal so
touching that all who saw it kept the memory of the dying woman in their minds
for years. Even Tom Willard, who had always half resented his wife, forgot his
resentment and the tears ran out of his eyes and lodged in his mustache. The
mustache had begun to turn grey and Tom colored it with dye. There was oil in
the preparation he used for the purpose and the tears, catching in the mustache
and being brushed away by his hand, formed a fine mist-like vapor. In his grief
Tom Willard's face looked like the face of a little dog that has been out a
long time in bitter weather.
George came home along
Main Street at dark on the day of his mother's death and, after going to his
own room to brush his hair and clothes, went along the hallway and into the
room where the body lay. There was a candle on the dressing table by the door
and Doctor Reefy sat in a chair by the bed. The doctor arose and started to go
out. He put out his hand as though to greet the younger man and then awkwardly drew
it back again. The air of the room was heavy with the presence of the two
self-conscious human beings, and the man hurried away.
The dead woman's son
sat down in a chair and looked at the floor. He again thought of his own
affairs and definitely decided he would make a change in his fife, that he
would leave Winesburg. "I will go to some city. Perhaps I can get a job on
some newspaper," he thought, and then his mind turned to the girl with
whom he was to have spent this evening and again he was half angry at the turn
of events that had prevented his going to her.
In the dimly lighted
room with the dead woman the young man began to have thoughts. His mind played
with thoughts of life as his mother's mind had played with the thought of
death. He closed his eyes and imagined that the red young lips of Helen White
touched his own lips. His body trembled and his hands shook. And then something
happened. The boy sprang to his feet and stood stiffly. He looked at the figure
of the dead woman under the sheets and shame for his thoughts swept over him so
that he began to weep. A new notion came into his mind and he turned and looked
guiltily about as though afraid he would be observed.
George Willard became
possessed of a madness to lift the sheet from the body of his mother and look
at her face. The thought that had come into his mind gripped him terribly. He
became convinced that not his mother but someone else lay in the bed before
him. The conviction was so real that it was almost unbearable. The body under
the sheets was long and in death looked young and graceful. To the boy, held by
some strange fancy, it was unspeakably lovely. The feeling that the body before
him was alive, that in another moment a lovely woman would spring out of the
bed and confront him, became so overpowering that he could not bear the
suspense. Again and again he put out his hand. Once he touched and half lifted
the white sheet that covered her, but his courage failed and he, like Doctor
Reefy, turned and went out of the room. In the hallway outside the door he
stopped and trembled so that he had to put a hand against the wall to support
himself. "That's not my mother. That's not my mother in there," he
whispered to himself and again his body shook with fright and uncertainty. When
Aunt Elizabeth Swift, who had come to watch over the body, came out of an
adjoining room he put his hand into hers and began to sob, shaking his head
from side to side, half blind with grief. "My mother is dead," he
said, and then forgetting the woman he turned and stared at the door through
which he had just come. "The dear, the dear, oh the lovely dear," the
boy, urged by some impulse outside himself, muttered aloud.
As for the eight
hundred dollars the dead woman had kept hidden so long and that was to give
George Willard his start in the city, it lay in the tin box behind the plaster
by the foot of his mother's bed. Elizabeth had put it there a week after her
marriage, breaking the plaster away with a stick. Then she got one of the
workmen her husband was at that time employing about the hotel to mend the
wall. "I jammed the corner of the bed against it," she had explained
to her husband, unable at the moment to give up her dream of release, the
release that after all came to her but twice in her life, in the moments when
her lovers Death and Doctor Reefy held her in their arms.
IT was early evening of
a day in, the late fall and the Winesburg County Fair had brought crowds of
country people into town. The day had been clear and the night came on warm and
pleasant. On the Trunion Pike, where the road after it left town stretched away
between berry fields now covered with dry brown leaves, the dust from passing
wagons arose in clouds. Children, curled into little balls, slept on the straw
scattered on wagon beds. Their hair was full of dust and their fingers black
and sticky. The dust rolled away over the fields and the departing sun set it
ablaze with colors.
In the main street of
Winesburg crowds filled the stores and the sidewalks. Night came on, horses
whinnied, the clerks in the stores ran madly about, children became lost and
cried lustily, an American town worked terribly at the task of amusing itself.
Pushing his way through
the crowds in Main Street, young George Willard concealed himself in the
stairway leading to Doctor Reefy's office and looked at the people. With feverish
eyes he watched the faces drifting past under the store lights. Thoughts kept
coming into his head and he did not want to think. He stamped impatiently on
the wooden steps and looked sharply about. "Well, is she going to stay
with him all day? Have I done all this waiting for nothing?" he muttered.
George Willard, the
Ohio village boy, was fast growing into manhood and new thoughts had been
coming into his mind. All that day, amid the jam of people at the Fair, he had
gone about feeling lonely. He was about to leave Winesburg to go away to some
city where he hoped to get work on a city newspaper and he felt grown up. The
mood that had taken possession of him was a thing known to men and unknown to
boys. He felt old and a little tired. Memories awoke in him. To his mind his
new sense of maturity set him apart, made of him a half- tragic figure. He
wanted someone to understand the feeling that had taken possession of him after
his mother's death.
There is a time in the
life of every boy when he for the first time takes the backward view of life.
Perhaps that is the moment when he crosses the line into manhood. The boy is
walking through the street of his town. He is thinking of the future and of the
figure he will cut in the world. Ambitions and regrets awake within him.
Suddenly something happens; he stops under a tree and waits as for a voice
calling his name. Ghosts of old things creep into his consciousness; the voices
outside of himself whisper a message concerning the limitations of life. From
being quite sure of himself and his future he becomes not at all sure. If he be
an imaginative boy a door is tom open and for the first time he looks out upon
the world, seeing, as though they marched in procession before him, the
countless figures of men who before his time have come out of nothingness into
the world, lived their lives and again disappeared into nothingness. The
sadness of sophistication has come to the boy. With a little gasp he sees
himself as merely a leaf blown by the wind through the streets of his village.
He knows that in spite of all the stout talk of his fellows he must live and
die in uncertainty, a thing blown by the winds, a thing destined like corn to
wilt in the sun. He shivers and looks eagerly about. The eighteen years he has lived
seem but a moment, a breathing space in the long march of humanity. Already he
hears death calling. With all his heart he wants to come close to some other
human, touch someone with his hands, be touched by the hand of another. If he
prefers that the other be a woman, that is because he believes that a woman
will be gentle, that she will understand. He wants, most of all, understanding.
When the moment of
sophistication came to George Willard his mind turned to Helen White, the
Winesburg banker's daughter. Always he had been conscious of the girl growing
into womanhood as he grew into manhood. Once on a summer night when he was
eighteen, he had walked with her on a country road and in her presence had
given way to an impulse to boast, to make himself appear big and significant in
her eyes. Now he wanted to see her for another purpose. He wanted to tell her
of the new impulses that had come to him. He had tried to make her think of him
as a man when he knew nothing of manhood and now he wanted to be with her and
to try to make her feel the change he believed had taken place in his nature.
As for Helen White, she
also had come to a period of change. What George felt, she in her young woman's
way felt also. She was no longer a girl and hungered to reach into the grace
and beauty of womanhood. She had come home from Cleveland, where she was
attending college, to spend a day at the Fair. She also had begun to have
memories. During the day she sat in the grand-stand with a young man, one of
the instructors from the college, who was a guest of her mother's. The young
man was of a pedantic turn of mind and she felt at once he would not do for her
purpose. At the Fair she was glad to be seen in his company as he was well
dressed and a stranger. She knew that the fact of his presence would create an
impression. During the day she was happy, but when night came on she began to
grow restless. She wanted to drive the instructor away, to get out of his
presence. While they sat together in the grand-stand and while the eyes of
former schoolmates were upon them, she paid so much attention to her escort
that he grew interested. "A scholar needs money. I should marry a woman
with money," he mused.
Helen White was
thinking of George Willard even as he wandered gloomily through the crowds
thinking of her. She remembered the summer evening when they had walked
together and wanted to walk with him again. She thought that the months she had
spent in the city, the going to theaters and the seeing of great crowds
wandering in lighted thoroughfares, had changed her profoundly. She wanted him
to feel and be conscious of the change in her nature.
The summer evening
together that had left its mark on the memory of both the young man and woman
had, when looked at quite sensibly, been rather stupidly spent. They had walked
out of town along a country road. Then they had stopped by a fence near a field
of young corn and George had taken off his coat and let it hang on his arm.
"Well, I've stayed here in Winesburg --yes--I've not yet gone away but I'm
growing up," he had said. "I've been reading books and I've been
thinking. I'm going to try to amount to something in life.
"Well," he
explained, "that isn't the point. Perhaps I'd better quit talking."
The confused boy put
his hand on the girl's arm. His voice trembled. The two started to walk back
along the road toward town. In his desperation George boasted, "I'm going
to be a big man, the biggest that ever lived here in Winesburg," he
declared. "I want you to do something, I don't know what. Perhaps it is
none of my business. I want you to try to be different from other women. You
see the point. It's none of my business I tell you. I want you to be a
beautiful woman. You see what I want."
The boy's voice failed
and in silence the two came back into town and went along the street to Helen
White's house. At the gate he tried to say something impressive. Speeches he
had thought out came into his head, but they seemed utterly pointless. "I
thought--I used to think--I had it in my mind you would marry Seth Richmond.
Now I know you won't," was all he could find to say as she went through
the gate and toward the door of her house.
On the warm fall
evening as he stood in the stairway and looked at the crowd drifting through
Main Street, George thought of the talk beside the field of young corn and was
ashamed of the figure he had made of himself. In the street the people surged
up and down like cattle confined in a pen. Buggies and wagons almost filled the
narrow thoroughfare. A band played and small boys raced along the sidewalk,
diving between the legs of men. Young men with shining red faces walked
awkwardly about with girls on their arms. In a room above one of the stores,
where a dance was to be held, the fiddlers tuned their instruments. The broken
sounds floated down through an open window and out across the murmur of voices
and the loud blare of the horns of the band. The medley of sounds got on young
Willard's nerves. Everywhere, on all sides, the sense of crowding, moving life
closed in about him. He wanted to run away by himself and think. "If she
wants to stay with that fellow she may. Why should I care? What difference does
it make to me?" he growled and went along Main Street and through Hern's
Grocery into a side street.
George felt so utterly
lonely and dejected that he wanted to weep but pride made him walk rapidly
along, swinging his arms. He came to Wesley Moyer's livery barn and stopped in
the shadows to listen to a group of men who talked of a race Wesley's stallion,
Tony Tip, had won at the Fair during the afternoon. A crowd had gathered in
front of the barn and before the crowd walked Wesley, prancing up and down
boasting. He held a whip in his hand and kept tapping the ground. Little puffs
of dust arose in the lamplight. "Hell, quit your talking," Wesley
exclaimed. "I wasn't afraid, I knew I had 'em beat all the time. I wasn't
afraid."
Ordinarily George
Willard would have been intensely interested in the boasting of Moyer, the
horseman. Now it made him angry. He turned and hurried away along the street.
"Old windbag," he sputtered. "Why does he want to be bragging?
Why don't he shut up?"
George went into a
vacant lot and, as he hurried along, fell over a pile of rubbish. A nail
protruding from an empty barrel tore his trousers. He sat down on the ground
and swore. With a pin he mended the torn place and then arose and went on.
"I'll go to Helen White's house, that's what I'll do. I'll walk right in.
I'll say that I want to see her. I'll walk right in and sit down, that's what
I'll do," he declared, climbing over a fence and beginning to run.
On the veranda of
Banker White's house Helen was restless and distraught. The instructor sat
between the mother and daughter. His talk wearied the girl. Although he had
also been raised in an Ohio town, the instructor began to put on the airs of
the city. He wanted to appear cosmopolitan. "I like the chance you have
given me to study the background out of which most of our girls come," he
declared. "It was good of you, Mrs. White, to have me down for the
day." He turned to Helen and laughed. "Your life is still bound up
with the life of this town?" he asked. "There are people here in whom
you are interested?" To the girl his voice sounded pompous and heavy.
Helen arose and went
into the house. At the door leading to a garden at the back she stopped and
stood listening. Her mother began to talk. "There is no one here fit to
associate with a girl of Helen's breeding," she said.
Helen ran down a flight
of stairs at the back of the house and into the garden. In the darkness she
stopped and stood trembling. It seemed to her that the world was full of
meaningless people saying words. Afire with eagerness she ran through a garden
gate and, turning a corner by the banker's barn, went into a little side
street. "George! Where are you, George?" she cried, filled with
nervous excitement. She stopped running, and leaned against a tree to laugh
hysterically. Along the dark little street came George Willard, still saying
words. "I'm going to walk right into her house. I'll go right in and sit
down," he declared as he came up to her. He stopped and stared stupidly.
"Come on," he said and took hold of her hand. With hanging heads they
walked away along the street under the trees. Dry leaves rustled under foot.
Now that he had found her George wondered what he had better do and say.
At the upper end of the
Fair Ground, in Winesburg, there is a half decayed old grand-stand. It has
never been painted and the boards are all warped out of shape. The Fair Ground
stands on top of a low hill rising out of the valley of Wine Creek and from the
grand-stand one can see at night, over a cornfield, the lights of the town
reflected against the sky.
George and Helen
climbed the hill to the Fair Ground, coming by the path past Waterworks Pond.
The feeling of loneliness and isolation that had come to the young man in the
crowded streets of his town was both broken and intensified by the presence of
Helen. What he felt was reflected in her.
In youth there are always
two forces fighting in people. The warm unthinking little animal struggles
against the thing that reflects and remembers, and the older, the more
sophisticated thing had possession of George Willard. Sensing his mood, Helen
walked beside him filled with respect. When they got to the grand-stand they
climbed up under the roof and sat down on one of the long bench-like seats.
There is something
memorable in the experience to be had by going into a fair ground that stands
at the edge of a Middle Western town on a night after the annual fair has been
held. The sensation is one never to be forgotten. On all sides are ghosts, not
of the dead, but of living people. Here, during the day just passed, have come
the people pouring in from the town and the country around. Farmers with their
wives and children and all the people from the hundreds of little frame houses
have gathered within these board walls. Young girls have laughed and men with
beards have talked of the affairs of their lives. The place has been filled to
overflowing with life. It has itched and squirmed with life and now it is night
and the life has all gone away. The silence is almost terrifying. One conceals
oneself standing silently beside the trunk of a tree and what there is of a
reflective tendency in his nature is intensified. One shudders at the thought
of the meaninglessness of life while at the same instant, and if the people of
the town are his people, one loves life so intensely that tears come into the
eyes.
In the darkness under
the roof of the grand-stand, George Willard sat beside Helen White and felt
very keenly his own insignificance in the scheme of existence. Now that he had
come out of town where the presence of the people stirring about, busy with a
multitude of affairs, had been so irritating, the irritation was all gone. The
presence of Helen renewed and refreshed him. It was as though her woman's hand
was assisting him to make some minute readjustment of the machinery of his
life. He began to think of the people in the town where he had always lived
with something like reverence. He had reverence for Helen. He wanted to love
and to be loved by her, but he did not want at the moment to be confused by her
womanhood. In the darkness he took hold of her hand and when she crept close
put a hand on her shoulder. A wind began to blow and he shivered. With all his
strength he tried to hold and to understand the mood that had come upon him. In
that high place in the darkness the two oddly sensitive human atoms held each
other tightly and waited. In the mind of each was the same thought. "I
have come to this lonely place and here is this other," was the substance
of the thing felt.
In Winesburg the
crowded day had run itself out into the long night of the late fall. Farm
horses jogged away along lonely country roads pulling their portion of weary
people. Clerks began to bring samples of goods in off the sidewalks and lock
the doors of stores. In the Opera House a crowd had gathered to see a show and
further down Main Street the fiddlers, their instruments tuned, sweated and
worked to keep the feet of youth flying over a dance floor.
In the darkness in the
grand-stand Helen White and George Willard remained silent. Now and then the
spell that held them was broken and they turned and tried in the dim light to
see into each other's eyes. They kissed but that impulse did not last. At the
upper end of the Fair Ground a half dozen men worked over horses that had raced
during the afternoon. The men had built a fire and were heating kettles of water.
Only their legs could be seen as they passed back and forth in the light. When
the wind blew the little flames of the fire danced crazily about.
George and Helen arose
and walked away into the darkness. They went along a path past a field of corn that
had not yet been cut. The wind whispered among the dry corn blades. For a
moment during the walk back into town the spell that held them was broken. When
they had come to the crest of Waterworks Hill they stopped by a tree and George
again put his hands on the girl's shoulders. She embraced him eagerly and then
again they drew quickly back from that impulse. They stopped kissing and stood
a little apart. Mutual respect grew big in them. They were both embarrassed and
to relieve their embarrassment dropped into the animalism of youth. They
laughed and began to pull and haul at each other. In some way chastened and
purified by the mood they had been in, they became, not man and woman, not boy
and girl, but excited little animals.
It was so they went
down the hill. In the darkness they played like two splendid young things in a
young world. Once, running swiftly forward, Helen tripped George and he fell.
He squirmed and shouted. Shaking with laughter, he roiled down the hill. Helen ran
after him. For just a moment she stopped in the darkness. There was no way of
knowing what woman's thoughts went through her mind but, when the bottom of the
hill was reached and she came up to the boy, she took his arm and walked beside
him in dignified silence. For some reason they could not have explained they
had both got from their silent evening together the thing needed. Man or boy,
woman or girl, they had for a moment taken hold of the thing that makes the
mature life of men and women in the modern world possible.
YOUNG George Willard
got out of bed at four in the morning. It was April and the young tree leaves
were just coming out of their buds. The trees along the residence streets in
Winesburg are maple and the seeds are winged. When the wind blows they whirl
crazily about, filling the air and making a carpet underfoot.
George came downstairs
into the hotel office carrying a brown leather bag. His trunk was packed for
departure. Since two o'clock he had been awake thinking of the journey he was
about to take and wondering what he would find at the end of his journey. The
boy who slept in the hotel office lay on a cot by the door. His mouth was open
and he snored lustily. George crept past the cot and went out into the silent
deserted main street. The east was pink with the dawn and long streaks of light
climbed into the sky where a few stars still shone.
Beyond the last house
on Trunion Pike in Winesburg there is a great stretch of open fields. The
fields are owned by farmers who live in town and drive homeward at evening
along Trunion Pike in light creaking wagons. In the fields are planted berries
and small fruits. In the late afternoon in the hot summers when the road and
the fields are covered with dust, a smoky haze lies over the great flat basin
of land. To look across it is like looking out across the sea. In the spring
when the land is green the effect is somewhat different. The land becomes a
wide green billiard table on which tiny human insects toil up and down.
All through his boyhood
and young manhood George Willard had been in the habit of walking on Trunion
Pike. He had been in the midst of the great open place on winter nights when it
was covered with snow and only the moon looked down at him; he had been there
in the fall when bleak winds blew and on summer evenings when the air vibrated
with the song of insects. On the April morning he wanted to go there again, to
walk again in the silence. He did walk to where the road dipped down by a
little stream two miles from town and then turned and walked silently back
again. When he got to Main Street clerks were sweeping the sidewalks before the
stores. "Hey, you George. How does it feel to be going away?" they
asked.
The westbound train
leaves Winesburg at seven forty-five in the morning. Tom Little is conductor.
His train runs from Cleveland to where it connects with a great trunk line
railroad with terminals in Chicago and New York. Tom has what in railroad
circles is called an "easy run." Every evening he returns to his
family. In the fall and spring he spends his Sundays fishing in Lake Erie. He
has a round red face and small blue eyes. He knows the people in the towns
along his railroad better than a city man knows the people who live in his
apartment building.
George came down the
little incline from the New Willard House at seven o'clock. Tom Willard carried
his bag. The son had become taller than the father.
On the station platform
everyone shook the young man's hand. More than a dozen people waited about.
Then they talked of their own affairs. Even Will Henderson, who was lazy and
often slept until nine, had got out of bed. George was embarrassed. Gertrude
Wilmot, a tall thin woman of fifty who worked in the Winesburg post office,
came along the station platform. She had never before paid any attention to
George. Now she stopped and put out her hand. In two words she voiced what
everyone felt. "Good luck," she said sharply and then turning went on
her way.
When the train came
into the station George felt relieved. He scampered hurriedly aboard. Helen
White came running along Main Street hoping to have a parting word with him,
but he had found a seat and did not see her. When the train started Tom Little
punched his ticket, grinned and, although he knew George well and knew on what
adventure he was just setting out, made no comment. Tom had seen a thousand
George Willards go out of their towns to the city. It was a commonplace enough
incident with him. In the smoking car there was a man who had just invited Tom
to go on a fishing trip to Sandusky Bay. He wanted to accept the invitation and
talk over details.
George glanced up and
down the car to be sure no one was looking, then took out his pocketbook and
counted his money. His mind was occupied with a desire not to appear green.
Almost the last words his father had said to him concerned the matter of his
behavior when he got to the city. "Be a sharp one," Tom Willard had
said. "Keep your eyes on your money. Be awake. That's the ticket. Don't
let anyone think you're a greenhorn."
After George counted
his money he looked out of the window and was surprised to see that the train
was still in Winesburg.
The young man, going
out of his town to meet the adventure of life, began to think but he did not
think of anything very big or dramatic. Things like his mother's death, his
departure from Winesburg, the uncertainty of his future life in the city, the
serious and larger aspects of his life did not come into his mind.
He thought of little
things--Turk Smollet wheeling boards through the main street of his town in the
morning, a tall woman, beautifully gowned, who had once stayed overnight at his
father's hotel, Butch Wheeler the lamp lighter of Winesburg hurrying through
the streets on a summer evening and holding a torch in his hand, Helen White
standing by a window in the Winesburg post office and putting a stamp on an
envelope.
The young man's mind
was carried away by his growing passion for dreams. One looking at him would
not have thought him particularly sharp. With the recollection of little things
occupying his mind he closed his eyes and leaned back in the car seat. He
stayed that way for a long time and when he aroused himself and again looked
out of the car window the town of Winesburg had disappeared and his life there
had become but a background on which to paint the dreams of his manhood.
THE END